Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Ali Manno Fedotowsky | From Bachelorette Roses to Her New TV Challenge on Special Forces!

Episode Date: December 24, 2024

#800. This week, Kaitlyn is joined by former Bachelorette Ali Manno (Fedotowsky) for an episode packed with heart, humor, and jaw-dropping stories. Ali shares what made her say yes to Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test, the grueling preparation (think ice-cold plunges and 3 workouts a day!), and the terrifying moments that pushed her beyond her limits. She opens up about a deeply personal story tied to her vegetarian lifestyle, reflects on her Bachelor Nation journey, and spills behind-the-scenes tea from the franchise. Plus, hear about her kids’ reactions to her reality TV return and the unexpected celebrity connections she made on the show. Tune in for laughs, confessions, and Ali’s incredible story of resilience! If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Clarins: Go to Clarins.com/VINE and use code VINE to get the Multi-Active Day & Night Cream for 10% OFF, A FREE WELCOME GIFT, PLUS FREE SHIPPING on your first order! Progressive: Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (5:10) - Why Ali said “yes” to Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test and how she prepared for the physical and mental challenges! (22:30) - A deeply personal story behind Ali’s... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario oh the vine hey everybody welcome to off the vine i'm your host katelym bristow looking like a pile of shit because well my sweatsuit's cute but i just got my stitches out of my eyeballs i'm wearing big glasses my gray hairs are coming in i'm greasy i feel gross but

nothing compares to ali fedatowski a AKA Ali Mano now that she's married and her experience on special forces where I don't even think they showered. They were filming 20 hours of the day eating fake cheese sandwiches and pooping in outhouses that I'd never want to wish on my worst enemy. So it's a very interesting conversation. And of course we talk a little bit about Bachelorette too. This is so funny that we're like getting together for a podcast when we've been talking about getting together just to hang and have a glass of wine. And I'm like, we would make it work. like not make it work but make it like actual work yeah to see each other because we're both

like that we are we made it we're both like that I wish it was like seven o'clock at night and we were just having a glass of wine and still with mics in our hands because I feel like that would that would be good we should do that one time I'm down for that yeah I'm so down for that this is exciting okay so obviously we'll talk about everything in life but you are on the upcoming season of special forces which I always said no chance in hell for me Really? I, well, okay, I've never, I've watched certain episodes and seen what they go through. Yeah. And I'm like, you have to be one of the toughest people out there, which I think is what they're trying to prove, like, how tough are you, to do it?

But like, as soon as they show one person dropping in an ocean, I'm like, and for that reason, I'm out. Yeah. I don't know why that scares me the most out of being dropped in the ocean. Yeah, I don't know why that scares me. We did have life jackets on when they done this in the ocean. Sure. Well, you do better. Yeah. But still, I don't know, there's just so many crazy things and we'll get into all of it because I want to know about your living conditions.

I want to know how hard it was for you, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, like in every way how challenging that was for you. Now, we're obviously not going to say how far you make it, but how long does filming happen for whoever makes it to the end? It's a 10-day course. Okay, 10-day course, which I'm sure with what you're doing in those 10 days feels like a 10-year battle. the days are about 20 hours 21 hours long yeah I mean we are sleeping at barely at all I mean you're truly getting almost no sleep so I personally felt like the first day alone felt like three days to me yeah because you're getting truly little to no sleep and the second you get there is it like game on the second you get there it's game on like and this is the thing too the night even before filming started no one gets any sleep because everyone's so anxious like I remember talking to other people like Trista and everybody and they're like I didn't sleep last night. I didn't sleep last night. Nobody sleeps the night before. So you're going like off of no sleep headed in. I would be Xanaxing so hard the night before just to like make sure I get like 12 hours of rest before going in. Is that cheating? Um, no, do that. And somehow

maybe like cut little holes into your sports bras and like hide some in there as well maybe. Yeah. Truly. Did you get to have a phone during? Oh gosh. No. Yeah, I figured no. No. I am a rule follower, Caitlin. Okay. Are you? Yes. Yes. to like I think I was a rule breaker I was just so excited to have like the opportunity to be honest with you like I've been on a TV for so long so like to do a show again was exciting to challenge myself physically mentally like that felt like an honor like to be able to put myself in a position to like experience any of what the military went through felt like an honor so for me I was just so excited to be there that I didn't want to break any rules so I show up with like so he gives like a packing list yeah on the packing list it's basically says you can bring like contacts if you have them. You couldn't even bring toothbrush. No. They're like, you can bring sunscreen on it. It said sunscreen, basically. And it didn't, it didn't say no, no, no. It just said, this is it. And so it said, don't even bring like a toothbrush or toothpaste. We'll provide that for you. Oh, okay. So I was like, wait a second. Wait, they're

also making you gross while you're there. Okay, so they provided. But so I get there and I'm like such a rule follower. I didn't even bring shampoo and conditioner. I find out, however, when I get there. I mean, Stephen Baldwin has like CBD cream. Denise Richards has like a theragun. I'm like, what is it happening? Did they let them keep it? Yes. Some of them. Like I definitely feel like some people got like maybe a little brought in a few more things than other people did and whether or not they were just bending the rules or what I'm not sure. Right. But I mean like Alana, she's a surfer. She had a hair mask. Like I was like what? You're like wait. This is not what the military gossip.

But I had, not that you have any time to even use any of that stuff, truly. It is, 20 hours. We'll get into it. But however crazy you think the show might be, multiply that by like a hundred. And maybe that's actually more close to what it's like. Whoa. And so had you talked to anyone who had been on the show before and did they mentally prepare you in that way? Like were they like times it by a billion for what you think?

Yes. Yes. Like I talked to Nick Viall. I talked to Hannah Brown. Right. And I talked to Beverly Mitchell. So they had all been on past seasons. And they all said it's harder than you think, but like...

Yeah, you don't know. That's like Bachelor, Bachelorette stuff. It's like no one can prepare you for it until you're there. It's certain experiences you can't... You'll never know unless you're in it. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly.

And I think also I'm just like, well, I'm super tough. So like, I'm going to be fine. Well, that would have been... If I ever did that show, that would be me too. I'd be like, no, no chance. I can't do it. And then I'd get there. I'd go to beast mode.

And I would just be like, I can do anything. Yeah. Like that's what I do. But what were you going to say? A lot of it's mental. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah. So I think that you would do really well in the show. I think it's, we're going to talk about this throughout this. I'm going to convince you slowly. I'm going to tell you how horrible it is. And then I'm going to do it. I'm like, I don't really feel like breaking bones and like, but it is like it probably does put so many things into perspective in a lot of different areas of your life. And to like, like you said, respect and be honored to know what the people in the military go through. That and not just 10 days for that. Right. Oh, gosh. No, for sure. That is wild. Okay, so I always think about lack of sleep. You and I were texting before coming here. And I'm like, you PMSing too because same. I, do you sleep when you're PMSing? I sleep fine. I just eat everything in sight. Same zies. Yeah. I absolutely do too. And I, I think, okay, so my cycle is so weird, but I'm pretty sure it's starting in like five days. And that's like, it's like the day five before 4 321 is the worst. We might be synced up, you and I. Oh, we are blood sisters. That's what I call it. Is that gross? I was doing a solo podcast the other day and I was like, any of my blood

sisters out there? We synced up. And then I was like, ew. And then I went, no, not you. We are not period of shaming on this podcast. But I, right before coming here, I was like, I'm going to bring her a bottle of wine. I'm going to print out the prep doc because I don't want to look at my phone. And I go to bring you a bottle of wine, drop it on the ground, go to the, it actually didn't, Spade and Sparrows, tough bottles, they don't break. But I went to go print your document and there's a jam in the printer, slammed my fingers in like, I've never screamed that loud. Don't even look at my fingers because they have not been manicured. But I slammed them in the back of the, like, paper gate and they were stuck in there.

I couldn't. I was screaming and had to like fully breathe through it and get myself out of there. And so I was just, and then I was just like, I hate this. And then I ran out the door without your wine. but that's because I didn't get eight hours of sleep so how the hell do you go and do a show like special forces

on what three hours of sleep every night I it yeah I don't know I don't know I think you just you gotta figure out what your why is going in and you just do it but no I mean it sucked everything it truly was the hardest

experience I was so ready I guess let me say this too I know a lot of people say like you can't prepare physically for the show. I think that's BS. I think you can prepare physically. Yes, a lot of it's mental. Yeah, you've been strong. Yeah.

I was then. I'm not so much anymore. I tried to do a pull-up last night and I was like, couldn't do it. But when I was doing the show, I was like, impossible to like, like my mom was so mad at herself the other day because she's like, I think I put weight back on that I,

and I was like, this is called life. You can't always be, you know, doing pull-ups every day, but go on. I mean, I was working out three times a day. I mean, truly, truly. I thought you're going to say week and I was going to be like, good for you. Three times a day? Like I would wake up and like, let's say I'd wake up and do hot yoga and then I'd go do a six-mile

weighted hike and Percy Warner with my girlfriend. And then I would either do like my tonal workouts at home or my Peloton or I would do this, I do this thing called Mandu. Have you heard of that? No. It's like a thing where they hook your body up to like all these. Remember like back in the day, the ab thing you put on your abs? Yeah.

It's like, you're going to sit and watch TV and eat potato chips and you're going to get abs. abs. Well, that technology has improved, I guess. And it's a full body thing. They put it over your whole body. And it really works? Yes. Like, I am so much stronger. You have to go try it. Yeah. Really? Oh, and so you were, how long did you train for? I knew I was going to be on the show for two months before. So I did this for two months. You went balls to the wall. Balls to the wall. I did a coal plunge in 33 degree water every morning. Oh, God. And most cold plunges are between like 40 and 45. So 33 is cold. I have a coal plunge and I try really hard to do 48. Yes. And that kills me. Yeah. 33. For how long? I would do it between six and ten minutes. You're insane.

Yeah. You're insane. I know. I really, really wanted to like... So you were torturing yourself before going on the show. Because I knew we were going to be in Wales. And I knew based on the time of the year, that it wasn't going to be the warmest. But I knew it wasn't going to be cold enough that they wouldn't put us in the water. Wow. You really took it seriously. Oh, I... Oh. Which I love because that's what I would do too. That's like grueling. Yes. Were you sane?

Like, were you okay? No. Didn't think so. No. I would like call my husband like rushing. I was, I hired a boxer like to train me in boxing because I knew we'd fight on the show. Like I would be running in between all these things. I'd like call my husband sobbing because I was just like losing my mind.

I was like this is not sustainable. Like I have got. And meanwhile my body transforms, right? because I go from like a normal person to like a crazy person. Right. And everyone online is like, what's wrong with her? You know?

Yeah. And so like I get then all these like accusations of what am I doing? And I'm just like I wanted so badly to be able to scream from their rooftops like, I'm training. I'm training for the show. Like even when I did. I am a go get her. Yeah. Exactly.

This is work. Yeah. But even when I tried to like explain to people, oh, you know, I'm working out a lot right now. Guys, this isn't attainable to the average person. I still couldn't further. say, but this is also my job right now. So did they back off once they realized what you were doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But for a while, I just sucked because I was like, they're like, you know, what are she doing? What is she injecting? What is she, you know? Yes, because people, of course, focus so much on what women's bodies and faces and everything

look like. And it's so, it's like the first thing to jump to like, oh, she must be losing it or what's going on in her life or all these assumptions. I'm sure people thought, oh, Zempick and you're like, that would have been the easy way, bitches. And the last thing I want to do when I'm training for the show, I couldn't get enough food. I was like literally shoveling. I remember opening cans of black beans because I'm vegetarian and I've got to get in my proteins. Oh, you vegetarian? Yeah.

So I would like open cans of black beans and just be like shoveling black beans into my mouth in between workouts because I was like I got to get in like the nutrition because I'm now going to go do this next thing. May I ask why a vegetarian? I'll tell you why. It's actually kind of like ties into the Bachelor world. Okay. Sadly, honestly. So I used to host this travel show called First Look. It was like this travel show aired on NBC, like after S&L, like a late night.

You know, you're watching TV, wanting to watch food shows. And I did that for a year and a half, almost two years. And I just was so sick. I was like traveling the country. I was sick because I was eating like 9,000 calorie burgers and bone marrow and pig brain and all the things. Load. Yeah, all the things. Big brain.

If you don't know what balut is, look it up. It's a delicacy in other cultures, but it is like fermented duck, like an egg with a baby duck in it. Anyway. Yeah. Exactly. And so I. So I went to dinner one night. It was actually like a Bachelor event in New York and then me and one of the people, Gia Allamond.

I don't know if you ever knew who she was, but she was on my season of The Bachelor. And sadly, she's no longer with us. Oh, I do know who you're talking about. Yes. So she and I had dinner that night. Everyone, all the other other bachelor people went out on the town in New York. And she was just not feeling the best. And I wasn't either.

Like, let's just stay in. We have dinner. I tell her how I'm feeling. She's like, you should try being Pescatarian. I've been Pescatarian for years. I feel so good. which means like only eating fish and stuff. And I was like, okay.

And so we have this dinner. And then like 10 days later, she dies. It was, yeah, tragically took her own life. Yes. And she seemed like such a beautiful soul too. She was so, so sweet and lovely and just amazing. And we actually butt heads a little bit on The Bachelor, but then came back together after anything that even says more just about the type of person she is.

She's just like so lovely. Yeah. Anyway, after that, I thought like, oh, I'm going to be a pescatarian for two weeks. weeks at that dinner we had. And then when that happened, every single time I went to have a bite of meat or think about it, I couldn't because I thought Jia. And so, I know. So I haven't had a single bite of meat since that dinner I had with her like 14 years, 13 years ago. And I've been vegetarian ever since. Yeah. Oh, why did that just make my eyes water? That's like, that's like a beautiful, sad story of I did not see that conversation. I know. Wow. I honestly have not really

told that story fully. I've kind of like said it like briefly in an Instagram story here and there there, but yeah, that is the reason to this day. I mean, and through the years, like my husband, he was a full meat eater when I met him and then we watched some documentaries and he became straight vegan at that point. And then no, he's not because we live in the South and it's harder to find stuff. But the show being Bachelor and Bachelorette has like evolved so much in ways. But I feel like, like were people talking about mental health during your season or do you remember? Not like they are today. Yeah. For sure. Like I definitely feel like it wasn't as much of a conversation. Yeah. I mean, it always should be. Right. What do you

think about the franchise where it's at right now? I don't watch anymore. And honestly, I feel like such a jerk for that, to be honest with you. I mean, just because like whenever I say, oh, I don't watch anymore, like I owe my life. We both owe our lives to this. I mean, truly, you know, like this, at least like the incredible lives that we both have. Right. And so like to say like, oh, I don't watch. I just feel like I'm not like supporting this franchise that did so much for me. But yeah, I just, I don't know. I just don't have it. I always say I did forever because I blogged about it for years. And then when I stopped blogging about it, I was like, I just can't. I know too much. Like I can't do it. I struggle to watch it and not because of any other reason.

Just that it, I realized how much it brings me back. Like my body reacts when I watch it. Oh, really? Yeah. Like my heart rate goes up. I start thinking, like I start feeling really sad for certain people if they're getting like the villain edit but then i like feed into it and then i'm like what am i doing i get um it's very overwhelming to watch yeah just because i really do think there's some PTSD for sure yeah of course there is i mean and that's not a 10 day that's like what is it 11 weeks i don't even know i don't know either but it's like two and a half months so yes two and a half three months yeah it's like 11 weeks you're 100% right wait i had questions throw back questions about that because I still want to talk about special forces because I'm so intrigued and impressed. But, okay, looking back on like your time, you were on Jake's season. Yes. Okay. I didn't know this until I started doing research because I remember now because I watched. Yeah. But did you leave? You chose to leave? Yes. Because you were working for Facebook. Yes. And you chose to go back to your job. Okay. Why? You just weren't feeling it.

No. I was feeling it. I thought that I was like met the man of my dreams. Like I was so young and desperate to be loved and to find love. How old were you again? I was 24 years old. I was dating a guy at Facebook who treated me like dirt. His claim to fame put it this way and I feel bad. Sorry, Jared. But he would like go to bars and drop to girls. I invented the like button like that. And so oh, and he did. I mean, he's on the team. I mean, he's right. I mean, at least that's what he told me he did. He was on the team, like, that developed the like button. He used that as his pickup line. Oh, yes. Oh, and women loved it. I mean, it was also Silicon Valley. And, like, you know, everyone knew, you know, they're like, he makes money.

Oh, exactly. Yeah. But anyway, he did not want to be with me. And I was, like, so crazy about him. So anyway, that's, I don't even know why I'm getting into that. That's why I wanted to go on the show. Yeah. But, yeah, oh, sorry, going back to Facebook.

So, yeah, so I went on the show. I was desperate to be loved. Jake wanted a family. wanted to settle down. I was like, oh my gosh, my forever man, you know. And he's a pilot, right? And he's a pilot. But I had gotten my job at Facebook before I started on the, before the bachelor started. I was only working there like seven months. Okay. Like I had joined the Facebook soccer team before I worked there to like network to try to get a job there. Like I had tried to get a job there for years before I actually got one. So the fact that I started, then went on the bachelor and then I'm on

the show. And I told my boss when I left to go do the bachelor. I was like, I'll be gone two weeks. Because I thought I'd get sent home right away. Like I was like, there's no. way. I have nothing to come, you know, like these beauty queens. I meanwhile had like never worn heels in my life. Like I was just like such a tomboy. And then I go and I stay and I stay and I stay and I'm like, oh crap. And then they let me like contact my boss and they gave me like a week and then another week and then finally they're like, girl, if you don't come back to work, there are 5,000 girls your age that want this job. And if you don't want it, we'll find someone else who wants it essentially, which I get. You know, they gave me, they gave me like, I was supposed

be going two weeks and they gave me two months wow and so finally they're like you have to come back and so i said to him i'm like look you're a pilot if you really love me and this is real come find me after this you know come fly up to san francisco and let's go were you sad when he didn't no was it one of those situations where once because this is how i felt once i was removed from it i was like wait did i even like him a hundred percent like once i got back and i realized i was like oh Oh, this. Yeah, yeah, that was a fairy tale. Yeah, not it.

This is all an illusion. Yeah. Did you ever watch the show Unreal? No. You know what it is. Uh-uh. What? You don't know what Unreal is?

It's somebody from like an old producer, I don't mean old, like age. I mean, like she used to work on the show. On The Bachelor? Uh-huh. I'll have to look up who it is. She created a spinoff called Unreal where she couldn't say it was about The Bachelor, but it was about behind the scenes of The Bachelor. And it was like this dark, dark version of like the control room and making people do certain things and cry and manipulate.

And it came out. You're like, yep, that's about right. Oh, it came out like I think a year or maybe when I was on The Bachelor and when I was in like my darkest time as The Bachelor, I just being like, what have I done? I watched it and I was like, I'm not okay. Like it was crazy. I think I have heard of that. I haven't seen it, but I've heard of it. But it's, and I feel like, because every season I feel like they get a little more scared

of people saying something, like, oh, maybe we can't do that. And people have platforms now and they grow to be these social media influencers. And I think they do worry. But like even in my time in 2015, some shady shit went on there. Did you like see behind the curtain at all with your season? Like, were you like, ooh, this isn't right? Because I felt like as a contestant on The Bachelor, Oblivious. Being the Bachelorette, I was like, okay, yikes.

And then hosting a season, I was like, whoa. Yeah, you have a whole different perspective than anybody. Oblivious as a contestant, same. Just like I was like, ooh, free margaritas and hanging out with girlfriends by the pool. Awesome. Exactly how I thought it. I don't know that I necessarily saw a ton behind the curtain necessarily, but I was so pissed off all the time. Like I was, people were always like, oh, what did you like, Bachelor of Bachelor? I'm like,

I hated being the Bachelorette and I loved being on The Bachelor. Like, I loved being a contestant and like hanging out with people. But as the Bachelorette, like, I always wanted to send everyone home. I didn't like anybody. Like, I was always fighting with my producer. Yeah. So I was just like a miserable, angry person. Yeah. Well, and it's kind of the same where you, what do you see him behind the scenes? Oh, like I, I see, how do I say this? Well, getting in trouble uh like i mean it's all like sims like they cast for certain you know they'll cast the funny person the drunk person the mean girl and then they push them in that direction you know and i'm i've just seen how like the editing i was like but she wasn't talking

about that she was talking about her friend at home and they'll copy and paste like right you know like i've seen stuff around like they can truly make anything look like anything yeah and anyone look like anyone and I was just like curious about your experience if you watched back were you like that's pretty accurate representation of me I think they made me look better than I was great to be honest that's great wait that's great because I do feel like up until I would say whose season was it who did they really just Clayton almost I feel like they always protected their lead like it's kind of their and then all of a sudden they saw like wait wouldn't it be funny if we didn't?

Yeah. I don't think they really protected me in certain ways, but they did in other ways. But that's good. Oh, so you're like, there was some things. Like I remember we recorded a video for, and they told us, if we did a really good job, Bear Naked Ladies was going to use it as their music video. Like they were there and we were all excited. And so, of course, all the scenes were like me and lingerie in bed with the guy,

you know, different guys. Like it was like risque, but I'm like, we have to do a really good job because this might be the Bear Naked Ladies music video. So I took it very seriously. Not the Fair Naked Ladies. come on yes but there was this one scene where all the guys were lined up watching me like roll around in bed with another guy in like lingerie and then I was uncomfortable so I looked up with the guys I'm like I know they're making you guys stand here but like this is so awkward

yeah he was my going in the room they're like totally yeah thank you but the way it cut was I was rolling in bed with this guy like kissing and they all walk out yeah yeah because they were like mad but that's just not what happens there were like little things like that which at the time I thought was like the end of the world I'm like they're making me look horrible, but I mean, I can laugh about it now. Well, yes. Well, speaking of, though, I will say editing and stuff and reality TV, I mean, I haven't seen special forces air yet, but one thing Nick Vial told me that I really appreciated it and Beverly Mitchell, they're like, that's not what special forces does. And that's also one of the reason I wanted to do it. Because I was so,

I don't know that I could do a reality show where your life and like reputation is in the hands of producers. Yes, yes. But they're like, they truly, the whole point of the show is for it to as real as possible. Like, it's not about editing. Like, it is like the rawst moments. They say, like, when you get put in the experience of special forces, like when they start and they're like, all right, the producers sort of wave goodbye. And they're like, you can't look at us. We won't look at you. We won't smile at you. Like, you might never even see us. Like, you are in until you're out. Whoa. Yeah. So there's none of that like, oh, I'm talking to a producer on saying, you don't talk to anybody except for the DS and the medic. Wow. You have some grit. What did you learn the most about

yourself coming out of that? I learned, gosh, what did I learn? I learned that I'm not as strong as I think I am. A little humbling experience. Yeah, okay. Fair. Some things I was like, yeah, I got this. And then you're like, try it and you're like, oh, my gosh, this is so hard. Like, I feel like everybody else would say like, oh, I'm stronger than I think I am. But I think I went in thinking like, I am the bionic woman. Like, I just was like, I am, I am like Laura Croft Tomb Raider. Like, I'm going into this, and I'm just going to, like, kick some butt, and I'm so ready. And then did you leave feeling like Craigslist, Laura?

You're like, not so much. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I was just like, I mean, I just remember feeling our season. So every season has like a theme so far, right? The first season was heat. They were in the desert, and it was like sand and heat. Oh, yeah.

What was your theme? The second was cold. Yes. So they were then like the freezing cold. Ours was water. And let me tell you how bad that sucks. that sucks. Like water, imagine being cold and wet and sandy 24-7.

No. I was pulling sand. I'm not even kidding you after coming back from the show. I was pulling sand out of my years a month later. I was like, cue tip being like more sand. You need to like go to the gynecologist. Who knows how sand got up there. I know.

It's just an open hole. What? It was just because you're in the water all the time. You were wet all the time. It's, oh my God. Gosh, did people get sick? What do you mean sick? Like hypothermia?

Yes. People did get that. Yes. I mean, it was people got really, it got scary at times for people's health. So I guess I keep asking in my head like why, why would people do this? And I heard you say earlier, like I had to think about my why. What was your why for going on the show? I think my, I mean, my why for going on the show was just literally proving to myself.

that I could do it. Like, I think I'm a mom of two, you know, my daughter's eight, my son's six. I left L.A. four years ago to move to Nashville. And at the time, you know, I worked in TV up until the day we left, L.A. I was working on Homework Channel. And I said to my agent, when I left that show, I said, you know, I'm done with TV. Like, I just want to go to Nashville, have like a quiet life with my family. I kind of have regretted that decision since we came here. Not moving here, but just I've isolated myself the last four years. I stay, I work for myself. I'm by myself every day. I never see anybody. I'm lonely. I, like, I feel like a mom is like all I am sometimes. Like, I just felt like, like when my agent called told me about the

opportunity, she's like, I'm assuming this is a no, because like I told her, I'm done. I don't want to do this stuff anymore. And she's like, I'm assuming this is no. And I was like, well, that was me like four years ago, but you just called me during like a midlife crisis mode. Yeah, perfect timing agent. You can smell those from a mile away. I feel like they're like, I smell a midlife crisis. Let's get her on TV. Exactly. That's exactly what happened. So I felt like I needed to prove to myself, you know, like, I'm not what I felt like I had become over the last four years of, like, disappearing, you know, like, I was something. I kind of understand, like, I've just been nonstop and go, go, go.

And not that I'm like going on all these TV shows and doing it, but I'm, I put myself to the point of burnout all the time. And sometimes I crave moving to, like, a farm and isolating myself because that sounds so ideal. But then after, like, however many years of doing it. you're like, wait a second. So I feel like maybe that's a sign to just slow down. Yes.

So don't move to the farm. Don't move to the farm. I'll wait until I'm like 70. Yes. But what is it for you now? Like what would balance look like for you now if you could do more? Like if you weren't just isolated and feeling like that. Like did you prove to yourself, one, that you are more than that because you are?

Yeah. And two, like what does it look like now? Yeah, I think I did. And I also, like, want more. Like, I want, like, a lot of people would say they wouldn't do special forces more than once. I would. You would? People say that about Dancing with the Stars and I'm like, sign me up eight more times. Yeah. Okay, you would. Yeah, I would do it again. I, like, want to do, like, tough mutters. I want to do all these things. It's, like, unlocked some beast mode in you. It did. Yeah. I hated it and I loved it all at the same time. Like, I just think it's, I keep telling every time I, like, talk to somebody from the show or a producer,

I'm like, you guys need to sell this experience. Like, you need to be able to allow anybody to, like, pay to go have this experience. Because it's so, I think so many people would. Yeah, you do. To see what they're made of. I would. I'd pay something right now. I know what I'm made of.

I don't need to. I don't need to go there. Let me tell you one thing that was shocking to me with the show. I have watched both previous seasons. I thought I knew what I was getting into in terms of, like, the living conditions, right? Like, I was like, okay, it's going to suck. like people you always when you watch a story you're like why is it everyone going to the bathroom at the same time you're not allowed to go anywhere without a buddy so you have to be with a buddy at all time so when you go to the bathroom you have to be with the bathroom by the way okay it's not just that they're porta-potties with like you know plywood around them so you have no privacy that's the least of the problem with the potties the potty's I'm clearly a party's yeah I was like oh I was in your mom momness coming out The seat, imagine a piece of wood with, and someone took a, I don't know, almost like a sandpaper, too, not a sandpaper, something like scraped it so it's all splintered wood.

No. Then covered it in dirt and sand and maybe sprinkled some water on it. That was the seat. I couldn't. That alone makes me say, hell no, to the no, no, no, no. And I think they had people using them for like a month before we got there. Six. Because it was just, like, it smelled so bad.

There was so much waste product in there. The living quarters, so, like, when I've watched past seasons, I was like, oh, it's not so bad. It's like a broom with some cots in it. That looks comfortable enough. Like, I could sleep on a cot. Like, I'm a parent. I don't sleep anyway or when my kids were young. Our living conditions, the producers told me this after the show, was piled two feet high

in manure two weeks before we got there. Why? So not because it was a literal farm. Like we were like in a barn, like a stone old school whales pig pen, essentially, that pigs lived in two weeks earlier. Which time of the year is this? It was May, but May and Wales is cold. It's a cold time. It wasn't like freezing, but it was not warm.

Right. And when you're in the ocean, it's freezing. But so what I would be doing. So imagine, you know, you're trying to get dry because you're soaking wet all the time and you're changing in the floor. It wasn't even like a floor. It was stone with dirt and manure in between all the stones. and you're trying to like clean off your little tin that you ate out of because it has to go back in your bag with a trickle of water that's literally trickling out and then you're taking your towel that you have drying your thing so you can put it back in your um your rucksack your bergen is what they call it but then you're using that same towel to dry off your feet that have manure all over them that you just used to wash your eating utensils it is I'm telling you I can't believe nobody ended up like I hope you got a fat paycheck They better pay you good.

Ah, what? Yes. It was, like, that was by far the hardest part. Like, I remember being in, like, one of the vehicles, they piled us in the back of these vehicles to go from thing to thing and just, like, smelling myself. And I'm just, like, manure, head to toe. Like, everything smelled like manure. And what are they feeding you? So, when we be in between challenges, it was like a, like, a, like, because I'm having.

vegetarian my sandwich was like two pieces of white bread with a piece i think i think they thought i was vegan but a piece of vegan cheese in the middle and that was it and what this is your fuel to like the fuel and and it was always everything was so fast like you didn't have time to do anything like there's no downtime on the show which i think is like confusing because any downtime there is that you like see on the show you have to be doing something like whether you're you're packing up your bergin making it waterproof or your jugs of water always had to be filled to the very top so if you took a sip of water then you had to go like refill your jug and you have to have a buddy with you if you have to go to the bath and you have to have to have buddy with you if you want to go to the drying room to like dry

your clothes which the drying room we would dry our clothes like they wouldn't be dry you'd ask different people at different times and if there was an odd amount of people there and everyone was with a buddy somewhere else like you're kind of the odd man out and it was it's just there's so much like that people don't realize and when you watch the show you're like I could do that or like you watch the show and you're like, why is Tyler Cameron puking, you know, like on his season, last season? Because you don't see them do that much that would warrant vomiting. But you're like, oh, it must be pretty bad if he's vomiting. He's a big dude. No kidding. He's also a puker, though. Oh, is he? Literally, I saw him in the south of France and he was like, I just puked. And I was

like, well, I think he's just a puker. That's a, I've never not to not justify that way, but okay. You know what? I think he was just hungover. I shouldn't discredit how hard he worked and probably threw up from like everything involved. But I just can't, like that sounds like my personal hell. Wow. It's really, really, really, really tough. Yeah. I mean, and there's this one thing we did, it's early on.

It's called the, I think, Beehive is what they called it, where they threw us into, we thought the night was done. Like, you know, this is actually the first night, actually, now that I think of it. Again, the first day felt like three days. Yeah. And we think the night's over because it's like almost 11 p.m. 10.30 or something. And so then they take us out. They're like, no, everyone, you know, come out here. I was number four, you know, uh, which I was, I was, I don't know what I was going to say.

Well, I said I was not number two, but then I feel bad. Chris Romano was number two. I didn't want to be number two. When I went, like, I just the worst one to be. Hey, number two. I would just like be quoting Austin Powers or thinking of taking a deuce. Yeah. Okay, number four. I was happy not to be number two. But, um, they take us in the back. There's this pool. Think of an above ground pool, but like 12 feet high, right? Maybe even 15 feet high. Black line, it's pitch black out there. We walk up these steps to a deck up top.

And they're like, everybody jump in. So our biggest fear is, oh, this is going to be cold, right? Because it's freezing and it's dark and it's nighttime. We all jump in. We have our full-on gear on, okay? Like our boots, everything. And they're like, all right, tread water. And every time someone tried to go to the edge, they would yell, like, you can't go to the edge.

You think that's bad enough with boots and everything. And when your boots aren't wet, they're heavy. You're wet. They're like seven pounds of peaks. Like they're heavy. But Q, one of the D-Sos is in the middle. And I will have nightmares about this. I feel like for the rest of my life.

He kept having a moment. He's like, get in here, get in here to the middle. He made us all go into the middle of the pool swimming like this. Imagine treading water with huge boots on with all these pool around you. Cam Newton, 250, you know, six foot seven next to you is panicking and pulls you under. He pulled you under? I can't even tell you how many people. people pulled me under. I mean, I people were, is it because they're panicking? Yes. So a lot of these

people are panicking. There's people next to you that are huge pulling you under, trying to breathe. Everyone was gasping. People were screaming. I'm drowning. I'm drowning. I'm drowning. I'm down. And I know. Like, I'm not getting you. There is one car ride where me, Brody, Jenner, Alana, and who was the other? Oh, and Carrie Hart were in the car. And we all started crying laughing. It was the day after this happened talking about this because we were like the promos for this of everyone in the water going, I'm drowning. I'm drowning. Like we all sort of crying, we've been crying laughing at that point because of how dramatic, traumatic and ridiculous, like crazy it was. And then imagine you're swimming and then someone,

a huge guy next to you or a person next to you takes their boot and they're swimming and their boot pushes down on your boot because they're kicking down and you go under. So you're, gasping for air. You're getting pulled under. And these people are just watching you on the sidelines being like, man, suck it up. So many people like swam to the edge during that because it got so bad. I will, I'm going to say, I'm dang proud of myself. I never left the center of the pool. Good for you. And like, you should be proud of that. Yeah. It was like me and like, I think like just a few other people didn't leave the center of the pool.

Like in one of them was like a pro surfer and like Olympic swimmer. Yeah. And you. Yeah, dang it. It's me. Yeah. Exactly. I'm like, oh, I find any way to quote wicked. So I was very proud of how physically ready I was for the show. Like, I'm no swimmer. Like, I can't try water for anything. Yeah.

But there's things like that. Like, things were like, truly everyone on the show talks about that experience. And I'm like, that's the closest I've ever come to feeling like I was going to die. Whoa. Truly. Like, I really, like, it was so scary. You know, when you, like, do something crazy like that and then you come out and you, like, live your life, like, people who almost drowned or bad things happen. And, like, do you feel like this new sense of life coming out of it?

You're like, I can do anything. No, I feel like I'm really. You're like, I'm done, approve myself. I'm good. I'm out. Not that I can do anything, no. If anything, like how I truly, I don't know. I don't know if it's that I was just like too full of myself.

I mean, to be honest with you, like, too cocky of how hard I trained or whatever it was. But I really thought, like, I've got this. And it made me realize, like, how I don't got that. this. That's also a nice lesson, though. It is. Yeah. It is. And, you know, I'm older. I'm 40. Like, I'm like, like, my body was giving out. My knees were giving. Like, it was just. You've also had two children. Yeah. Like, it was so, it's so intense. And I really, every cast, I feel like says this, like their season was the hardest, but I truly feel like our season was just like. I bet they make it harder every time. Probably. What, is your family so proud of you? Oh,

totally. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Are they excited to watch? Are they going to watch? Well, my kids, because I didn't tell them what I was going to do. Yeah. They're eight and six. And so I told them, you know, I was just going and doing a show. And they're like, okay. And then they saw the promo came out recently. And Molly looks at me in my ear.

She's like, you are never doing that again. I can see her. She's like, you told me you weren't doing anything dangerous. I'm like, I know, honey. I'm like, I trust me. Even though it is look scary, I was safe. Yeah. But I don't know if I'm going to get them going to let them watch until I see it.

Like I have to watch it. first because it really really was scary like yeah i i've seen episodes of that it looks scary like to watch even do they know that you were the bachelorette do they understand that they do now yeah like i took mollie to we went to the taylor swift concert in indianapolis and when we were there like people kept stopping and right right in Nashville we're just in our little communities nobody comes up and asks me for pictures or anything but there you know there's so many people around and so people kept coming up and like asking for photos and she's like she was counting And then I look over and she's like, eight, 11.

Like, I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like, that's how many people have come up to you to ask for a picture. She's like, you're famous. I know you are. And I'm like, honey. I'm like, people. So we have this weird conversation because like, I'm not. Yes, at one point I was famous, right?

Like right after the bachelor, I uncovered a magazine, do anything. Now, not so much. Recognizable. Yes. And so I'm like, look, people, some people know who I am because of Instagram because I worked in TV. So we, like, have a lot of conversations around like what that means. means. And she's like, does that mean I'm famous? And I was like, well, what do you think famous means? And she's like, well, people know who you are if you're famous. And she's like,

people know who I am, don't I? Because what ends up happening is that people will see us out in public and they'll recognize her first. Oh, yeah. Of course. They'll be like, she's also recognizable. Yeah. But yeah. And then one time, Riley, I actually posted, this is like my one TikTok that went viral. I don't understand TikTok. And I don't know how it works. Yeah. I did have one that went viral where my son like went up to Alexa and was like, So let's show me a picture of, first he says Mommy. And then he's like, show me a picture of Allie. I can't remember if he said something like, and her husband or her love.

I don't know what he said, but a picture of me and Roberto from the show. The guy ended up with showed up. And then I walk up, I'm like, what did you ask Alexa for, buddy? And he's like, I asked her to show me a picture of Mommy. Like, who is that? What did you say? It's like a boy. I was like, yeah, yeah.

Just, you know, mommy's past. It showed that I did, you know. But where's that guy now? I heard he recently got married. Oh, like very, very recently. Which I'm very happy for him. Yeah. You guys were together for a hot minute, weren't you?

A year and a half. Oh, I thought it was longer than that. I always think of... Back then it was a long time. Now it's not a long time, but back then it was. Because Sean and I were together for three and a half years. Oh, wow. And I'm always like, damn, that was a long time.

That was a long time. Yeah. So I couldn't remember, but I thought you were three years for some reason. No, that was a year and a half. I made that up in my head, but... Yeah. No, but we were. very mismatched. Yeah. Well, because you don't know the person until later, but it is what

it is. What do you think about the show allowing the lead to pick the cast? Is that a thing? I think it should be. Oh, I think that'd be a great. So I think they kind of like know what that person wants. And don't give it to them. No, I think they, the only reason I'm saying this is because this is one of the reasons I thought, okay, I think I am the Bachelorette and not Britt because every time I sat down with a guy, I was like, this is exactly what I put on paper of like what I would be interested in. And they all felt like they were my type, except for like three or four. Yeah. So it felt like they were cast for me. So I'm like, sure they, but then the leads would get in trouble because then this guy's going to come out with a domestic violence thing that happened

10 years ago and how dare we not look into their past and I don't know. Well, this is the thing, I think that they should have, like, a group that they've hooked into already, right? Yeah. And then instead of the casting team narrowing it down to 30, the bachelor's, like, or the Bachelorette sitting behind a glass and saying, or maybe the Bachelorette picks 15 and the casting people pick 15. Okay, I like that. I like that.

I like that. Picks better, you know. Because, like I said earlier, the casting is there for a reason because they need. They need those certain roles to be filled. They want like, ooh, Bachelor potential, Bachelor potential. Let's say out of everybody that they go through in this casting process, like the lead gets to pick five. I like that. To be on the show. Because I just think one, it would create so much more chances. And I think it would change things up a little bit. Yeah, they need to change something

on it. It's getting tired. Yeah. But we've been saying that for like 10 years, but yeah. Yes. Yeah. That's even you saying you don't watch Bachelor. Like, you are a working mom. You're busy. And like two hours is a long time to commit to watching a show. Or I'd just rather read my fairy smut books and be done with it. What are you reading? Akatar. Me too. Oh, you are. Yes. What book are you on? I'm only on book one. I'm only on book one. but I'm on chapter 27. Okay. I just started book three.

Oh, shoot. What was your favorite so far book? I heard two's it. Yeah, I really, I, yeah, two's great. I, um, I thought the beginning of two felt slow to me, just like the very beginning. And then it got really, really good. I mean, I love it. I also, like, don't get me wrong.

I'm not a prude, but like some of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, intimate scenes are just so long and dragged on. I know. What I love about Akatar is, like, I love the story. story, but I like the sexual, sexual tension. Yes, I feel like that is a big part of the story, but I don't need like 10 pages of like the, but in book one, there's only one scene like that. And it's short. I think I'm there right now. Yeah. I was like, oh, shit. I did not see. Was that why you were late, Caitlin? Oh, I slammed my fingers in the printer. No, I was masturbating to Akitar. I'm just kidding. No, I got to this point and I went, I actually was like, oh, I didn't know it was going to be a sexy book. Yeah, yeah. I thought it was like strictly like just the sci-fi.

like novel that everyone was talking about. No, no, there's some sexy scenes, which I like, I like the sexual tension. I like that the fairies are so hot. Like, I'm like thinking about like these fairies. How do you picture the fairies? I mean, like, like, like, what do they look like to you in your brain? Like a little bit larger than a human. Yeah.

So it's just like a little bit bigger with like longer fingers and the pointy ears. Yeah. And like wings. And like Brad Pitt, but like on steroids? Mine is more just, yeah, kind of. of. Who's your celebrity crush? Like who's a celebrity and you're like, they're so hot?

I don't really have one. Oh, mine's like Paul Rudd. So I picture him like 6-8 with horns. And wings. That's my theory. I just picture like, I don't know, some, like, not anybody I know, like, but really dark black hair and like purple eyes. Like really. I always like to know what people think in their heads of, because I have a book club and I

always but it's online like with off the vine listeners nice and so we always do zooms and we're like okay who would play this person in a movie yeah so i like to think of like what the characters look like but do you think they'll make a movie out of these i do yes they will i think they will but they need to like have a lot of money behind it because it has to be like lord of the rings level production for it to work i agree what's your favorite book of all time i do not have a favorite book of all time i love certain kinds of books like right now well i guess by the time this airs but like if you're reading books during the holiday season Ellen Hildebrandt has a series called Winter Street,

which is about like the holidays on Nantucket. And I, it's so good. Like, I know it doesn't sound good. Like, oh, cool, holidays on Nantucket sounds really. But it's so good. Like, my sister just read it. She's like, this is the best. I'm going to gift this to everyone during the holidays.

So that's a really good one. Blake Crouch, I'm going to say his last name wrong, which is bad because I'm such a a geek that I literally have bought signed books of his online. Oh, cute. Like, I read, like, at Qatar, I started a week and a half ago and I'm on book three. Like, I literally read a book in, like, two days. I started it three months ago and I'm on chapter 22 on the first book. Oh no, I read like, that's the thing.

I, you are out there hustling, getting stuff done. I'm like, no, I should be doing 500 other things right now and working. But like, I'm in like the, I have no motivation for anything in my life phase of my life right now. I'm kind of there right now too. Like I want to wear sweatshirts and like when we were texting before this. I'm like, Caitlin, I'm in my robe on the couch eating chalk. I was like, wear the robe. I crave so badly to have nothing going on

and to like have a week of downtime and then I get that and I go I'm a lazy piece of shit why am I not doing anything and then I have severe ADHD where I am doing the 500 other things when I really want to be reading the book but I'm like I'll get in five pages

and then I'm like well what am I going to do for dinner and then what's happening on Instagram and then I'll go on a cleaning spree and organize all my charge like great and then I'm like wait what happened to reading the book like I will find everything else to do it's bizarre yeah well what do you do for your mental health like to recharge your batteries like what do you do to feel like like for example PMSing I get very dark I really need to take care of myself in those times I book extra therapy I take off work I like buy all these

bath bombs and I read and do all stay home basically what what helps you recharge see for me it's the opposite of you like I feel like I need to recharge and travel like really is traveling so to you travels work and it's this like for me I need to go somewhere yeah to fill my cup okay um like I you know recently well recently I went to L.A. to do press for special forces yeah was refilling my cup I think also part of it is like getting away from like my kids well because when you Like you said, you start to feel like your identity is a mom. So when you get to go and do things for you, you're like, oh, yeah, that's recharging for you. That's for me.

That's what I do for me. I have to, like, get out every once in a while, go be with my friends. Yeah. But then also, I mean, just what we've been talking about reading. I love to read. Like, to me, reading is escaping. Like, I feel like I go off. But this is the problem.

I sit and I'll read. I'll pick up a book and I'll read for three hours. Yeah. And then I'll look at the clock and go, I am such a piece of crap. I should have been doing all the. other stuff and then I feel and then I feel bad but you're reading that's it's not like you're scrolling and not right but I mean I probably pick up and scroll in between yeah but like we all do but then I just like feel bad about myself that I took all the same to this but this is what I will say reading as much

as I read you know forever some people when I share books because I read so quickly and so often people like how do you have time to read like aren't you ever with your kids or do anything and I'm like well I they're also at a different age now too they're at a different age and my both of my kids are obsessed with reading because of my obsession with reading. Oh, cute. So now, like, both of my kids are reading Harry Potter right now. We literally sit on the couch and all three of us will sit there with the book and hold it.

Oh, that's really cute. That's not something that they necessarily, or they might not necessarily pick up on their own. Like, it's modeling, right? Your kids want to do what they see you do. Yeah. So. My kids will be drinking bottles of wine at like three after me.

Oh, like, monkey see monkey do. I'm like, whoops, sorry. That's so I love seeing your kids on social media because they are, Molly is so funny She's very funny She is like Out of a movie funny Like she seems like a character

Yeah Yeah she is Like ever since she was three People would be like Why are you leaving LA Like when we left Los Angeles You're like You're like have you seen the documentaries

Of childhood actors Exactly Yeah we're out Okay I do want to go back to special forces Because I want a little tease Like what can we So this season is about water what can we expect to see throughout mostly episode one because that's what we're looking

forward to the most and like throughout the season like did you butt heads with anybody did other people fight like what what was like the craziest thing that happened I feel like there wasn't like a ton of head budding because you kind of come together probably I will tease this and after I say it yeah we've got we've got fox on the phone the powers to be can say whether or not this is allowed to be said yeah multiple like major injuries happen on the show wow yeah like broken bones type deal like going home and back braces like oh serious serious things yeah it's it's funny nick vial said this he said i and actually i feel like beverly mitchell said the same thing said you know i was scared but i never felt unsafe right like because you know there's they're not

going to let you know you die yeah i i felt pretty unsafe sometimes really only in the beehive thing honestly really that thing i really thought i was going to like i really thought someone could easily have drowned there was someone like scuba diving at our feet like when we went under but the thing is there was so many of us at that point there was still the whole cast there was so there was still 16 of us and like you could like easily i'm like someone could be under and it was pitch black It was a black-lined pool, like, in the middle of the night with no, like, it was, I truly feel like someone could have seriously, like, I would see someone yell, I'm drowning, and then go under. Like, it was.

That alone gets me, I'm like, I'm tuning in. That's a good tease right there. Yeah, it's crazy. And then our first challenge, our first challenge was awesome. Like, our first challenge, I recommend doing. What was it? Or can you say? Yes, I can say.

Let me say this, too. One thing that people don't realize, at least for our season, is that there's so much. before the first challenge even started, right? So we're thrown into the ocean. We're like a half mile from shore. You have to swim through the ocean to shore, fully clothed. Okay, so I'm like my jeans. I was wearing these exact jeans, actually.

They were like around my like hips, even though they're high-wasted jeans because the water dragged them down. And then you're getting out of the water. They're making you drop to your knees, do push-ups, do planks. So they make you get out of all your civilian clothes to start, and you're all soaking wet. And I'm in my bra and underwear. They have you wear a sports bra and underwear, you know, standing next to

Stephen Baldwin's next to me over here. Jordan Weaver, the gymnast is over here next to me. And I look over at Stephen Baldwin. This is going to be my story if I ever do like two truths and a lie. Yeah. This is really one of my truths because it's so effing bizarre. I look over and Stephen Baldwin's in a wetsuit, first of all. I'm like, how do wear a wetsuit?

Who allowed this? Yeah. But they're saying to you, they're like, recruits. Help your fellow recruits. Help your fellow recruits. And I'm sitting standing there in my brawn under, I look over, he's in his wet suits. So then I go, I turn to him and I start ripping off his wetsuit. So I'm like, my truth is that at one point, I was ripping a wet suit.

In my brawn underwear, ripping a wet suit off Stephen Baldwin in the middle of Wales. That's my good one. That's my truth right there. And then they make us run up this huge hill where like people, like, Stephen Baldwin was like getting his inhaler out. Tristan, like people like couldn't make it. Then we were in a two-hour car ride to our first. first challenge. So there was so much that happened before our first challenge even started. In the two-hour car ride, are you napping? No, because you don't know it's two hours. That's another

thing. They would put us in the back of the car and we don't know if we had five minutes or five hours. Like it's, you don't know. And then not knowing, that was honestly one of the hardest parts for me too. I'm just like totally like, I get car sick to. So I was just like, oh, the unknown. The unknown. And then when we get to this place, we have to run like a mile out to this thing with these super heavy bergans on. And then we see this helicopter come down over our heads and a speed boat come out and you see one of the DS out there. You're on the boat holding onto the boat.

Is it a D.S. A drill sergeant? Direct staff it stands for. Damn, I thought I was... Drill sergeant probably, I mean, that's probably a better term. Yeah. They're not nice to you while you're there. Yeah. But you're standing in the boat. And this is where I felt like Laura Croft Hum-Rater. I was like, I remember doing it. You're on it. And then you jump from the boat to the bottom of the helicopter, wrap your arms around it, try to pull your legs up.

up and get yourself into the helicopter. What? That's badass. Like a speed. It was so badass and it felt so quick. Everybody was like, this is so cool. That is cool. But yeah.

I had some issues on the show too where I kept like having misfortunes with gloves. Oh. Like that first challenge with the speedboat, they gave me two left hand gloves. So when I'm trying to grab up to the helicopter, one of my gloves had leather. The grip was on one side, but then the other side because it was another left hand glove had leather. So I was like slipping. I had a lot of issues with gloves. on the show. Let me just say that.

And I'm not happy about it. Okay. Okay. They screwed me with the gloves. Oh, no. Do you think that was on purpose? No. I don't think it was on purpose. But because of my multiple glove issues, it made things very challenging for me. Oh. Yeah. I want you to do it again. We'll see. Maybe they'll do an all-star season. If they do an all-star season of any sorts, like whatever they call it, I will be the first one to sign up. I mean, I feel that energy from you. Yeah. I want to do it again. Like, my body's craving. it. For you. Not for me to do it, but I'm fired up for you. If they ever ask you, you should do it.

It's scary and it's terrifying. I want to do traitors. Okay. That seems a little more. I don't know anything about that show. They still have challenges, but I just don't know. Isn't that like manipulation? See, that'd be harder for me. But I don't want to be a manipulator. I want to be one of the other people who tries to find out who the manipulative one is. Okay. But I just, I don't know. I'm, I bow down to people who do special forces and I think it's a great show too like people people really enjoy watching it it's a great show it's so good I was thinking about it too because I said oh you know did people butt heads but more you're probably bonding like what was it like to bond with just like a diverse group of celebrities I remember being nervous going um just because I worked in LA for so

long you know I worked on e-news for years I dealt with so many jerks and just like divas and I was just like all right great I'm gonna like go deal with all these egos and like I was like nervous about that part of it but like everyone was so cool and like honestly some of my favorite moments would be sitting in the little back of the cars that we had a little i don't know what they are trucks and just like chatting you know like whether it was carry heart talking about his wife is pink like being on tour with you know he'd be like carry heart yeah he's like a BMXer yeah of course i know who that is yeah he's so cool oh i love him and pink yeah like they because i watch so many documentaries on her because I'm obsessed.

And I love how he shows up in that family. Yeah. Cool. He, like, told the story of, like, when she proposed to him and, like, you know, just having those conversations, like, in the back of the trucks in between things. Like, that to me was the coolest. That's cool. And, like, people just being generous.

Like, Stephen Baldwin, like, gave me. I was in so much pain. I had bad knees. And, like, one of my knees was inflamed. And he gave me, like, his CBD cream, like, to help. You know, like, everyone was just, like, helpful and cool. And you're like, am I following the rules? I know.

The T-Bee cream? Someone gave you a little bit of condition. Oh, my gosh. That's crazy. You must have felt so good to get home sleeping your own bed, shower, like smell not like manure. Yes. The shower was very, very, very nice. I can't even, I can't even, not even just number two.

I can't go to the bathroom in like airports even when they're clean. I have like gag reflexes to bathrooms. You tell me you're in an old. You wouldn't go the whole time. You were there then. You would hold it the entire time. Yeah, I would. It's horrible.

rather just go pop a squat around a corner in a bush. Oh, I can't even tell you how many people did that? Nuts and berries and what I saw, like, people are just dropping trow everywhere. Yeah. Those nuts and berries. Yeah. I mean, you see everything. Like, it's like, yes, everything. Because everyone, I mean, I can't even tell you how many times I, like, would be changing in the room. And, like, my underwear might fall down a little bit. I don't care. I'm just trying to get dressed and get to the next, like, you see. I mean, you see some shit. Some famous booty guys. Some famous dong. Oh my gosh.

Who did you like get along with the most there? Women had Trista. So obviously like we took care of each other. I really, I mean, I really got along with Landon Donovan. Who's that? He's a soccer player. Okay. Professional soccer player.

He, I feel like I had like some good conversations with him. I mean, I got along with, there's nobody I didn't get along with. Yeah. I will say like, you know, my bunk, Denise Richards number three and Stephen Baldwin's number five. and you're, like, in your bunks based on your number. So my bunk was in between the two of them. So, like, I feel like I bonded with them because they're, like, right next to me. Yeah.

And Denise, I mean, she, you would love her. Really? She is a hoot. Like, she is exactly who she is. Oh, she's had her on the pod. You should 100% have her on the podcast. She would love it. Oh, that's cool.

She would love to come on. And you would just, yeah, she just, like, tells it like it is. Like, you know, after the show, we, like, got together. And she's just like, all right, let's talk about this shit. And she's just, like, going off about everything. I always wonder how, like, celebrities who have really been in the Hollywood scene and, like, you know, married to people like Charlie Sheen or like, see, you know, I wonder. She has no ego. I wonder how they stay humble and grounded and, like, what it is that they do for themselves to stay that way.

Or if it's just in your blood or not. I don't know. I think it's in, I think it's a little both. Yeah. I think it's in your blood a little bit. But I also think you have to have people around you to keep you grounded. You know, the way I always describe celebrity when I'm talking to, like, my friends that, like, maybe don't understand it as much, like, people who are really, really famous. I'm like, imagine you're Justin Bieber. And every day you're like, people, you know, you're talking and you're like, oh, this guy's purple, the sky's purple.

And everybody's like, yes, it's purple. And everyone's agreeing with you that it's purple. Eventually, like, you truly believe the sky's purple because everyone's like, yes, it is, it is. Yes, people around you at all time. So you don't know the difference between right and wrong because everyone's telling you a certain thing, right? And so that's just like, I feel like if you don't have people around you, you'd be like, no, you dummy, the sky's blue. Like, what are you looking at? You know what if you don't have that, what better do you know? That's so true. God, that's sad. I know, I know.

But Denise, I mean, she is, she like wanted to hang. Like, not everybody's like that. Like some people are too cool. And they're like, you know. I love meeting people who surprise you in that world. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because you've been in TV for a lot.

long time now like you got you got into it after a bachelorette who's the crazy celebrity you ever you've ever met or talked to the crazy like like biggest or most memorable i guess most memorable i mean i guess i would go with tom hanks oh good one um only because he was so kind and so nice and just like i remember being like well you adopt me and like you know and it's like that's why you have longevity in this business because you are like this and his wife's the same way yeah i've never met him I've met her, and she is just a class act of a woman. Yeah. That makes sense that they've been together so long.

Right? He is just, like, so cool. I mean, I'm not getting into names. Like, I mean, I just have dealt with so many jerks. Oh, I bet. People making me cry. People just, like, not looking at you when they speak to you. People making you wait for four hours on a red carpet.

And then you come out and you, the publicist is, like, one question. Oh, I don't know. Did you ever meet Ellen DeGeneres? Yes. Was she nice or no? She made me feel pretty nice. not great. I hate that. I've heard that so many times. Yeah, yeah. It's not that she was mean per se. She just made me feel stupid. Yeah, she does that. I remember that I was when I was on her show,

like I was so excited to be on the show. And I don't think she's a bad person. I just think that sometimes I bet when you do a job like that all day, every single day for years, you're just kind of over it, right? And then here, in one, she's talking to people who are like crafted. Here I am this like 24 year old like famous for no reason comes on her show and she's like I got to talk to one of these idiots again you know and I was like I went on the show I was dancing and everyone comes out dancing and I'm like hi and I was like trying to be funny and like personable and she instead of like laughing with me she was laughing at me oh I hate you know what I mean so she I felt really stupid I think the world protected me from ever going on her show because they say don't meet

your heroes and she was mine all the time but I think it would have been really disappointing for me and now I just dislike her because of everything I've heard from like very very reliable sources and so and again I'm the same way where I'm like I get it if you've been doing the same thing and you're over it and like you know I whatever I don't I don't get treating people like shit but I get being over it yeah but I I always said if I went on The Bachelor for one reason it was so I could meet Ellen DeGeneres like I was obsessed I had a container that was a pickle jar that was like a tepperware where you pull it up

and it strains the juice and then you grab the pickle and it's called a piccadilly and I remember her from like a comedy skit from back in the day talking about how annoying it is to get your hand in the pickle jar and I was like

and I saved this piccadilly for so long because I was like I'll go on Ellen one day and I never did and now I'm like I think we were protecting me for meeting my hero because I would be really disappointed

What did you do with the piccadilly? Still got it I still got it somewhere so you hold on to that piccadilly I'm going to keep those hands dry yeah I'll use it for myself I like still have it in a box like I'm still going to see her get over it Caitlin okay last thing I do on the pod is I always make somebody confess something embarrassing to me so the gosh it's it's it's it can be anything like just something where you're like I can't believe I'm telling the story it's mortifying I embarrass myself so bad whether it's like you and Baldwin had to go poop together like what I don't know something doesn't have to be from the show it can be like you were 10 years old and this happened to you and you you'll never forget it.

This is way too hard. I don't feel like I can do it. Let me try and inspire you. I'm trying to think of... I feel like I'm just so over the years too. And like, I don't know. I'm sure it's annoying when parents are always like because I'm a parent. But I feel like as a parent, like I've said it all.

I've seen it all. I've talked about poop. I've talked about like childbirth. I've talked about like, I don't even like no. I mean like when you say something like that, I'm like embarrassing. I'm like, oh, when I was in third grade, and I had to, like, read out loud on the chalkboard and I said words wrong.

Like, that's what comes to mind for me. I'm dyslexic. So, like, wouldn't me, if you, which is funny because I ended up working in TV and, like, reading teleprompters. Yeah, reading a teleprone. That must be so hard. But it's, it's something that I've, like, gotten better at and learned. But, like, because of my dyslexia, I guess this is my, maybe embarrassing or whatever.

Because of my dyslexia, when I were for e-news, I, instead of, like, reading things cold, I would, like, go in my room and, like, go through everything. everything and like make sure I knew how to say all the words beforehand because I was like so worried that my dyslexia would. That's a sad story, I guess. It's that made me not what you. It's like one of those like, oh, this poor little dyslexic girls upstairs in her office worried about messing up in front of Juliana. I would read the teleprompter when I was doing hosting for Bachelorette. But when you like go in and talk to the guys or whatever, I'd have Bennett in my ear feeding me lines just like, like word for word. He'd be like, all right, guys. So I'd be like, all right, guys. So and as he was saying it, I would just say it. I would just say. it out loud and then just walk out and I'd be like, I don't even know what I just said in there. I was like, I don't know, just put me in coach. When you're talking to somebody and somebody's talking in your air, that is so hard. Like you can't pay attention to what's happening. I think my ADHD brain loves it.

Oh. Like I was like, I could process and say it out loud at the same time. Oh, great. It worked for me. Also, thank you for coming on the podcast and talking about this. I can't wait. So January 8th. January 8th on Fox.

It will stream on Hulu. after. I'm not sure how long after. But yeah, but Foxes were to watch it. And it's worth watching. I mean, you're going to see them just torture us. And if that makes you happy, tune in. Well, what's funny is I do think people love seeing reality TV

people be tortured. Oh, anybody that's in the public eye, they get to see us in such a different way. Like, I'm not even kidding you, when I saw Stephen Baldwin at the press thing, he's like, oh my gosh, you look different. No, he didn't. He like, did this video for my

husband. He's like, I just want to tell your husband, you look, smoke it. But it's so funny because he just, you don't, you see everybody just like no makeup, nothing. We look like drowned rats the entire time. Did you know who is being cast before you went on? Or did you just see once you got there? I have pictures on my phone. So we, they put us in a hotel, right? And they were so, they did not want us to know who was on the show. I'm like, come on. We're here. We're at the hotel. We're about to start tomorrow. Why doesn't matter? I'm not going to like call these people or whatever. They're like, we brought all of your exes. Yeah. And so I'm out the window and I see I, my hotel room is at a place where I can see the car is pulling up because this is when we got to Wales. Like

first we were in Richmond, like we're Ted Lasso was filmed. Yeah. Oh yeah. And then they, like Wales was like a four and a half hour drive. So at that hotel, it's like in the middle of nowhere. And I see, and I'm taking pictures on my phone of people getting out of the car. And I can't, and I can't, it's so far away. And like people have sunglasses and I can't tell who it is. So I'm standing the pictures to my husband, and he's sleuthing and trying to, like, figure out who it could possibly be. But the only people I knew who were on it, and I didn't find out until I was in, at least Richmond, in, like, the London area. Yeah.

I knew Trista. Yeah. And we started messaging at that point. I knew Christy Romano, because she posted a video saying, I'm about to go do something, and it was in the same hotel room I was in. I was like, okay. Got it. I know you are.

I, like, dunder right away. I was like, hey, girl. And then Brody Jenner, because people figured out I was going to be on the show based done like my training i think people were just like she's clearly doing something physical and then people and people thought and brodie jenner was going to show so i knew he was but that was it there's only people wow well i'm proud of you thank you yeah i look forward to seeing you on a future season nope nope you won't you won't but if you do it again you can do it for me i want an all-star season i'm calling it now and uh i can't wait to watch i'm kately bristow i'll see you next tuesday

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