Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Alyssa Rosenheck: What's the worst they can say?

Episode Date: October 26, 2021

Best selling author, speaker, business leader, cancer survivor and one of the leading photographers in the country, Alyssa Rosenheck joins Kaitlyn to discuss major life pivots, following your heart and inspiring creative courage. After she was diagnosed with cancer, Alyssa’s life took a 180 in the career path she was on when she realized that she was living to work and not working to live. She went from a very corporate career working for Fortune 100 companies where she felt like she had to hide her femininity in order to be seen for her knowledge and not her looks, to an extremely creative and successful career in photography… and she literally had never picked up a professional camera before. Alyssa claims to not have had a creative bone in her body until she dug deep and realized how therapeutic living a life of passion really was even when you are turned down at times. She is an inspiration for all those who are struggling to make a career change and a reminder to follow your dreams. And maybe don’t follow it to the cookie jar because you might find yourself on the bathroom floor thinking your arms are going to fall off… a hilarious confession that came out of left field after a very calm and rejuvenating conversation. Alyssa also shares her thoughts on some design trends and whether they are here to stay or go! You can find Alyssa Rosenheck on IG at @AlyssaRosenheck and @TheNewSouthern APARTMENTS.COM - Go to apartments.com. The most popular place to find a place. CHINET - Chinet Brand makes premium disposable tableware for all of life’s gatherings. Visit mychinet.com to find out more. GEICO - Go to geico.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. It’s GEICO-easy! STRAIGHT TALK - No contract. No compromise. Available at Walmart and Walmart.com. SENSIBLE PORTIONS - Head over to amazon.com/sensibleportions to try Sensible Portions Garden Veggie Straws and Garden Veggie Puffs. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hey, B on the mic, turn it up, let's go. Hey, ramen, Pino, ready for the show. Everyone's welcome, so come on in because OTV, it's about to begin. Hey. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and today I have the incredibly inspirational Alyssa Rossin Heck. With me today, she is a cancer survivor whose life did a complete 180 when she was diagnosed

as it quickly made her recognize that her career was running. her life instead of pursuing her passions. She shares more about her extremely successful photography career, her highlights, low lights, the business model that she has pioneered which led her to success, advice for other photographers, and truly for anyone who wants to follow their passions, the inspiration behind her book, the new Southern style. She is a reminder to dream big and you can truly accomplish more than you ever thought possible. And I just hope this is a little extra nudge that some of you listeners may need to finally make that big career change that you've always been dreaming of.

Thank you for being here. Truly, you're my second in-person podcast that I've had since the C-word. I know, 19 months ago. I'm not that we're counting. That's crazy. I just, I get, like, energized from having in-person podcast. I forget how much I like that human interaction. I know.

So thank you for being here. I feel like you have a hundred different things and then some going on. I mean, you've photographed my house. I know. That's how we met. Years ago. Yeah. I know.

Isn't that interesting? I know. It was. You were in your bathroom. Was that the first time? And that was the first time I think that you'd had your home photographed as well. Yeah, it was. Yeah.

Which I've made so many changes since then. I can't wait. You know how the whole kitchen was brown? Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's all white. I saw that transformation. It looks amazing.

Okay. Good. Yeah, no, but this is amazing. I love being here with you and I adore you. Oh my gosh, I adore you. Just grateful. I know. I feel like I never remember how long it's been since I've seen someone until I actually

see them. And I'm like, we have different hair colors. We have different hair colors. And we've like, you've been in my home so many times. I know. And life has happened. You won dancing with the stars. You're now like.

Say it again. Yeah. Well, you're a winner. I am the champ is what you're getting at. Yeah. Wait, where's the trophy? Did you bring it? I thought about it.

You should have. I would bring that sucker everywhere. I truly thought about it, but it's, uh, it's sitting in my podcast room at home. You're like, it's buckled up in my car. It's buckled. Yeah, it's in a safe in a case. Nobody gets to see it or touch. No, I'm just kidding.

It's literally on my like, that's amazing mantle. Like, yeah, it's, I have a, it has its own ring light. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you, again, it's congrats to you that everything that you have going on. I mean, you're a bestselling author of the new. Southern style. You're a stylist, a speaker. You are a celebrated architectural interior photographer. That is a mouthful.

It is. Did I say that right? Do you need a triple wine? Maybe. No, that'll make me say it worse, actually. But you also are a cancer survivor and just so many things that you've done in your life. Can you believe, like, looking at where you are right now, when I read all those things back to you, Yeah. What does that make you think or feel? Grateful. Yeah. I feel like, oh, life is always speaking to us and it's whether or not we're listening.

And so much of my time going through my 20s and early 30s, I just wasn't listening. I mean, you too. You've done so much. And I feel like looking back, how do you feel about those things? So grateful. Yeah. So proud. Because I think a lot of people would look at, you know, it's kind of like a highlight reel.

A bio is a highlight real. So you're just talking about all your achievements. So if I look back and I just read like, you know, wine label and scrunchy, honor and podcast host and host of the bachelor, I'm like, holy shit, I sound cool. But people don't recognize the journey, waking up every day, the perseverance, the consistency of being committed to the dream that you have. Yes. And I think that's the important part. And, like, there is pain that gets, you know, that comes with it. And there, there's a lot of failure.

There's a lot of, you know, pivoting. And, um, you don't put that in your bio, though. No. So that's what you read about. I like a professional failure. See, but that's what I like to get down to those things, too, because that's obviously what will get you to have this kind of bio to say, you're this, you're this, you're this. But that doesn't come with a lot of, without struggles.

People need to expect a failure rate when they pursue any dream or any goal. Yeah. For sure. I mean, you look at all like billionaires in the world. Yeah. The most successful people in the world, they've fallen flat on their face before. Yeah. So what has gotten you to where you are today?

It's been the consistency and it's believing in a vision greater than myself that is not reminiscent of my current set of circumstances. Yeah. It's thinking outside the box. It's trying to be an innovator and trying to merge that with service and creativity and really, I'm a big believer of managing my energy versus my time. So, especially now as we're getting older, I'm like, does this light me up? Does it make me feel alive? Am I passionate about it? Or is it draining? And it's really learning to cut the draining things out quickly and then continuing to move on. I think a lot of people

want to do that, but don't know how. How do you cut the, you know, stuff that you want to say yes to, but you choose to say no to how do you preserve your energy what what steps do you take to get there it's daily pulse checks for me it really is it's it's is this draining me does this feel good is this in alignment with my current vision of what i want for my life you know we've done we've done we've done all of these really cool things that i never i personally never thought that i would have ever had the opportunity to pursue and i think the biggest it sounds so cliche but the biggest thing that we can do is be still and listen and go inward and really take time and cultivate, you know, what you want your life to be and, and accept also where you are, what's not working,

you know, and who's not working in your life. And being willing to follow that up with change, that's what creates a courageous path forward, I think. So true. That's, I mean, you are also a good writer because you have a blog. But I'm a self-trained writer. You know, I'm a self-trained photographer. Nobody taught me these things. These were all through being curious and exploring and continuing to put one foot, like really small little baby steps into the things that lit me up. And then I think when you do that, when you start saying yes to yourself in that way, the world really opens itself up. I mean, preach.

I say this on my podcast all the time that the success comes from putting your happiness first. because as soon as you're doing something that brings you joy and that lights you up, that's when you're going to succeed. And I say it all time and night. You know you say things are cliche and whatever, but we need to pay attention to those little cliche things because they really do mean something. They're cliche for a reason because they really are simple yet effective cliche sayings that can change your life. I just look at you and dancing because I know that that was always a passion of yours,

but it was by no mistake that that opportunity revealed itself. Right. And I feel like those were the things. that were lighting you up and made you shine and you stepped into it and I'm proud of you for that. Thank you. I truly feel like everything that has happened in my life led me to be on dancing with the stars because I was like, I am a dancer. Like I questioned myself my whole life about being a dancer because that was my passion.

That was what I wanted to go after. I thought that was going to be my career. Everything that I wanted had to do with dance. And I felt like a failure so many times as a dancer because I had to take other paths. So how did you get over that? I didn't really. I mean, I did because I started to realize there wasn't just one thing for me that I had other avenues to discover and other things about myself that did light me up.

Yeah. I had been so focused on dance my whole life that it was actually nice for me to fail at that and be like, okay, what else? Yeah. You know. And it took me going following a guy and having failed relationships to be like, no, do something for yourself. What do you love to do?

And then just following your heart is, again, cliche. But truly doing that led me to like, yeah, I would like to be on TV. And like I opened myself up to that opportunity, which led me to this opportunity and the next and the next. And it's if you're just following your path that you're on and allowing, you know, yourself to step outside of the comfort zone. Take risks. Do all these things that could benefit you. You could end up on dancing with the stars or, you know. And winning it. I mean, I knew I was going to win. Did you really? My, you were like. I think I just knew there was no other option for me. I was like, I have to win.

Yeah. I battled through rib injuries and ankle injuries and like depression during it. And I was just like, keep going because I knew I had to win. Dancing is so hard. So I grew up and I was a gymnast. Yeah. And then my also hard. Very hard.

Delayed puberty also, by the way. Same. Same from dancing. Everybody thinks I'm so tall and they meet me and I'm like, no, I'm tiny. Yes. Because of it. Yeah. But my girl, one of my best girlfriend, she's been.

and my friend for 20 years. She is a dancer. And we were out of college. She brought me to a hip hop class. And they personally asked me to leave. I was like, I cannot do this. I was like, this is insane. And I have PTSD from it. So I'm like, hats off to those too. Okay, who needs a change of scenery right now? I'm pretty sure everyone in the world does. So it's good that Apartments.com has the most listings anywhere. We're not just talking apartments, but houses, townhomes, condos, and all manner of domiciles. from the oh so cozy to the, did I just hear an echo in here? And with 3D virtual tours, you can search for your special somewhere from anywhere. So stretch those fingers across a keyboard and change your scenery on Apartments.com, the most popular place to find a place.

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Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or something, someone close to you, please contact Conics Ontario at 1866-531, 2,600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. You didn't always have creativity in your bones. No, no. And now you're one of the most creative people I know.

How did that happen? No, I did not think that I had a creative bone in my body until I was 32 years old. And, you know, growing up, I think. we are a little bit of the product of our environment growing up until you work through that. And so I just never really had that flexibility or really privilege of exploring a side of myself other than security being financially stable. And so my early 20s, early 30s, I was really, I guess I was really fueled by arbitrary levels of success and fear and climbing the corporate ladder. I worked for two Fortune 100 companies, was doing really,

well, but really motivated by just security and feeling like the rug was going to be pulled out from underneath me until I was diagnosed with cancer. And that was a gift that gave me so much more than it took away. I had thyroid cancer, really survivable form of cancer, but we thought it had spread to my lungs and that is very terminal. Yeah. And so that is what woke me up and I was like, okay, I need to stop and really start living life for myself and start making choices from a place of love an abundance and giving more life, you know, to my current existence. And so- Was that immediate for you when you found out you had cancer? Was that an immediate response for you to, like...

It really was. I was at such a pivotal season in my life where I felt like nothing was working. And it really silenced every external thing that was not working in my life. And I really just went inward and I felt really peaceful. And that's when I first picked up a camera and taught myself how to shoot. And again, I think when you start saying yes to yourself, other things fall into place. And I was living in Chicago at the time. I shot my first condo that I had purchased, sold it in less than 24 hours, you know, to come back to Nashville. And I also worked with a new designer.

She was needing a photographer. And I said, yes, I didn't really know what I was doing, but I went in. I intuitively styled the project, intuitively shot the project. And then at the time, this was almost eight years ago, I was really one of the few that was focusing on the digital landscape. And I wanted to provide, you know, more service and value to her from my corporate experience. And so I wanted to place the project. And I placed it in a digital outlet. And I started to see the snowball effect of synergy where she was getting more clients off of the momentum. And, you know, it just was a really good kismet journey. Yeah. And that's what's helped, you know, build the business now for almost eight years. I think a lot

people maybe not maybe i speak from like what i think i would do but i think a lot of people who would get delivered that kind of news might shut down yeah or feel sorry for themselves yeah which is totally understandable or be afraid and just be like you know kind of a give up mentality yeah but when it was hard yeah it wasn't easy and but i also think that we all cope with things very differently i don't do coping well i didn't either and i look at at it as when I heard cancer initially, I was like, okay, I've got this. It's fine. It's a very survivable form of cancer. And I just went about my business. And we were again in such a transition in life. I was getting out of the corporate world, which was pretty hard. I was trying to develop

a new, brand new life for myself. I was moving cities from Chicago to Nashville. It was just all very, it was a lot. And I probably thrive when a lot is going on because then I don't stop and think about, you know, about real things you know like having cancer yeah so i initially looked at it as the common cold until we thought it had spread to my lungs and then i said stop it i have to completely change the way i'm living my life wow and i think a lot of survivors that i've talked to who have had the same experience they've it's been a very common denominator between kind of it's a wake-up call yeah and you don't need to have cancer to have a wake-up call you just start need to say yes you need to start saying yes to yourself and really, really understand what's working for you and cutting out the toxic crap

that is just draining you and distracting you. Gosh, I do feel like, I've talked to my dad about this who was an alcoholic and, you know, him saying, I had to go to AA meetings to really, like, hit rock bottom to realize how to live my life properly to, like, do what, you know, say yes to me, essentially. That's incredible that he, and he's in recovery and. Oh, he's been over 30 years now. That's And, like, still attends every AA meeting. And I always try and think about that. Like, he always says, like, I wish, you know, you didn't have to hit that point. Yeah. Or have something bad happened to you to realize. You have to break down to build a brand new life. How do you think people can do that without having a full breakdown? Because I mean, like, my full breakdown is, you know, you can't compare breakdowns. Obviously, everyone has their own struggles. But mine was like a low point in my life that I'll never forget. And that's what like I had to hit to build myself back up. Yeah. But for anyone who's listening, either who has had that point or hasn't yet, like, if that's going to happen to somebody, what would your advice be? I think you feel it.

Yeah. I mean, I can feel, I feel like we're both pretty empathetic and sensitive human beings in this world. I can feel things in my body when they're not working. I tense up. I feel it in my bones, my muscles, my shoulders. Yeah. And writing things down for me are really important and accepting things for where they are, like, currently,

being in the very present moment. So writing down what's not working for you and then really seeing what small changes you can make to follow it up. So you can start redirecting the course of your life. I mean, we only have one life to live. Yeah. And cancer just gave me permission to leave behind the ordinary life for a more extraordinary one.

And I feel like your breaking point probably did the same. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, you talk about writing things down. I wanted to talk about your blog. post the title, Who Run the World, Women Who Dream.

Yeah. Because I got goosebumps when I read that. And it's true. And I mean, we are, you know, we can say that from experience. But it's just so interesting to me that you didn't, you know, you didn't always get the sense that you didn't have that mindset when you were in corporate America. Yeah. You know what I mean? The corporate world is just like. I feel like I had two, I worked for two Fortune 100 companies.

The first one I worked worked for was, was. Awesome. I feel like I walked away with my mini MBA, and it was a great, like, business intro in terms of what we need, how to provide value to the person sitting in front of you. The second one was really hard. All male dominated. And I feel like I was constantly being tested. It just was hard. Yeah. And I feel like I had to cover up parts of my femininity. I was in a sports bra, no makeup. Like, it was almost at my detriment. Wait, that's interesting. Why? Because I wanted to be hired for my knowledge and not the way I looked. Mm-hmm. Now, I went the opposite way in life. I was like, oh, honey, put on some makeup, let's show the girls. I'm going to be a bartender. I was like, I love that, though, because that did not prove anything to myself or anyone else. I just kept being insecure.

So to you, strip yourself down of what society thinks you're supposed to be and say, this is who I am, and I'm a smart fucking woman. I wanted to be taken seriously, and I worked with all men. You had to do that. I know, but through, you know, our trials and errors, like, I really embrace my femininity now and all of this. And I feel like going back to the blog post, who run the world, women who dream, we have to be courageous enough to fail. We have to be courageous enough to take stock in our creativity and just say yes to ourselves. And I don't know how you think about this, but I listen to a lot of women. And I feel like they're just, they're wanting permission to start living their own life.

you know and you have to give it to yourself and no one's going to do it for you now do you feel like from doing that you know showing up the way that you did did prove something or did you look back on it and be like I should have just you know done what I wanted what do you mean in like yeah like I told them to go fuck themselves you did yeah hey we love telling people go kindly but but was it contractually you're like I set up a good package before I said that but like when you showed up the way that you did were you taken seriously I had to go through that I don't have really many regrets in life but I did it for a long time and should I should I have stepped out on my own sooner yes but I didn't know any better we only you know you know

we only know what we know at the time that's true and i was again driven by fear and not this place of abundance and taking stock in you know my own capabilities yeah i was um on a totally different path and why photography that came into your life i know you picked up a camera and you started but like did you always love taking photos like was it i had never i wasn't exposed to it my mom's really creative. Yeah. And she is, she's the artist and the family.

But when I heard the news of cancer and I was transitioning out of the corporate world, I just, there was that inner kind of voice of saying, buy a camera, by a camera. And I did. And I started shooting around my condo. And it felt like a form of prayer for me.

It felt like a moving meditation. It gave me peace. And I feel like the things in our, our life that bring us peace or meant for us. And I just kept following that in its direction. And what do you think you did to distinguish yourself and ensure you were able to kind of like get yourself in that position to be like, okay, this is my passion, but I'm also going to make it a career. I wasn't thinking of career. I knew it at all. I knew it. I wasn't. I was like, nope, this just feels good. And I was really financially savvy and smart in the corporate world.

so I had a nest egg and I wasn't and this was all within like a four week period of time. Wow. This wasn't like over years. No. This was for the very first time of just listening to myself. I had not done that before. I didn't know what stillness was. I didn't know what stopping to think what I personally wanted for my life was.

I always thought I was going to go to college. I was going to join the corporate world. I was going to go into management. I was going to maybe get maybe get married, maybe not get married. and just, you know, set myself up just to be protected, secure, and never have the rug pull out from underneath me. Because, you know, you grew up with a father who is now recovered alcoholic. I grew up with a father who's an unrecovered alcoholic. And it was always, there was so much instability. And I feel like I was always being driven by that. Yeah.

And so I never had an end goal in mind with my creativity. It was always just very process driven. And that's what's connected me to my purpose and my past. passion and to you and to the book and to all of these other things. That's incredible. Tell me some of your, like, biggest highlights as a photographer. Oh, my goodness. Oh, I don't know. You've done some cool stuff.

I have. I've followed you on interior for a long time now. I feel like I'm like, what? Well, I've worked with you and I've worked with. The cool stuff for me is really the process and the people I get to meet. It's not really where the thing ends up. Sometimes, you know, the, the viewer may look like, oh, you know, it's, it's all of these magazine features. It's really not. It's just, it's the

process. It's still being able to do what I love to do every single day. Like, that's the highlight for me. That's cool. Yeah. I mean, there's so many people. I'm a back to basics, girl. Yeah. I mean, there's, there's so many people that listen to the podcast. I know that are either in corporate America or in a job they don't like or, like, are too scared to take that leap of faith and to follow and say yes to themselves. Yeah. What do they have to do to get to that place? Follow your creativity. I think we all have it within us. Yours is in the form of dance. Yours is in the form of connecting with other human beings. And I feel like mine was in the form of being a visual storyteller and not just photography, but other things. And even right now, full transparency, I've been in a creative rut for the past two weeks. And I happens, totally happens. I started watercoloring, you know, and it just gets us outside of ourselves. Creativity, when we do it in a really genuine way, it tells us the truth about ourselves. It tells us the truth about the world. And it is the key to connect us even further into our communities.

It blows my mind that you didn't think you had a creative bone in your body until 32. I didn't. Like even just the way you're speaking. I'm like, I thought you came out of the womb as this like artist. No. I actually didn't think that I didn't consider myself a creative until really like three years ago. That's mind blowing and see like it's never too late. Yeah.

First and foremost. And you still are. Yeah. Just in other ways than like just. Just that one thing that you thought you had to be. No, creativity, I think for everyone listening who is a CFO or is in the corporate world or is a student or is a dreamer, you know, I really think our creativity is soul work and it connects us to our humanity. And it is, it's a big companion to our self-care as well. And I think we need to be carving out at least 20 to 30 minutes a week exploring that side of ourselves.

At least. At least. You're right. If you can't do it just every day. I mean, let's do it every day. Yeah. I'm like 20 minutes a day, please. Well, it's like love.

Like love begets love. The more you focus on it, the more it expands. Same thing with creativity. That's a good point. Yeah. That's really nice, actually. Thanks, sister. Well, let's talk about your book because the new Southern style.

This is kind of your way of sharing your wealth of knowledge and experience to help others tap into their creative courage. Yeah. So tell us more about the book. How do you come up with the title, how it came to be. Yeah, all that kind of stuff. That's a big question. Really?

Yeah. The thing that makes the New Southern so exciting, it's a movement. And it's grounded in change where we're building bridges and breaking down walls. And it's really community focused. And it's where we're humanizing our differences through the lens of creativity. I definitely am not a historian, but I am a visual storyteller. And creativity is a really expansive tool to bring everybody to the table. and it lives and breathe within all of us.

And like we've just discussed, you know, I'm living, breathing proof. I didn't think that I had to create a bone in my body until I was 32 years old. And people just scratch the surface of who they are through their whole lives. Yeah. And what a beautiful gift it is to dive deeper and figure out what your true, like, soul is calling you to do. And I really want this book, I want the reader to walk away saying, okay, I'm inspired a little bit more to dive into my creative courage and what that means. I could implement that in my life every day. And then I want this book to hold their hand through life pivots.

We all have had them. I have had thousands of life pivots that I may have been a little bit more ashamed of to talk about them than now. And a lot of the people in the book have had them as well. And then I also want this book to really inspire us to be our own agents of change. I really think in order for us to have a clear vision forward, we have to understand where we've been from a really micro level in terms of, like, our family history, challenging things that have been told to us, our own limiting beliefs, our city's histories, and trying to see

how we can continue to show up, not only for our families, but our communities, and connecting that to a sense of service. Oh, that used up in my eyes there. I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, I think I'm a deep woman. I haven't done that yet. No, that's so true, though. I really think that's the only way forward is to really understand where we've been and have clarity and how we want to show up every single day.

So do you think that once you realize that, where you came from, what your brain is trying to do, family history, if you acknowledge that, is it as simple as acknowledging to... It's accepting it. It's accepting it. It's understanding. And it's challenging our limiting beliefs. We don't have power. We're not worthy of things.

I can't make a change. Are all those things true? Right. No. You can. And it takes little things and it's finding out what you're passionate about to keep you consistently showing up. And doing little things in your home, in the four walls of your house and in your community. It's really important.

I love that. All right. We're going to pause the podcast to talk about straight talk. 5G is here. But the big carriers want you to sign a pricey long-term contract to get on it. Not anymore because Straight Talk Wireless has rolled out 5G coverage nationwide, with plans starting at just $35 a month and no contract, all on America's best networks. Plus get the latest smartphones from brands like Samsung, or you can bring your own phone and just keep your number in 5G network just by swapping your SIM card. 5G coverage, 5G phones, less money, straight talk wireless, no contract, no compromise, available at Walmart and Walmart.com, 5G capable of.

device required, actual availability, coverage, and speed may vary. Keep your own phone requires a compatible unlocked phone, and Straight Talk KYOP kit may need to change phones APN settings. Okay, so I'm pretty sure I can safely say that we all snack, but the question is, are you snacking sensibly? Or more importantly, are you snacking sensible? I'm talking about a sensible snack your whole family will love, sensible portions, garden veggie straws. If you haven't had these, you are missing out, you guys. They are deliciously crunchy,

better for you snack. So with sensible portions, garden veggie straws, there is a flavor for every taste. So I'm talking fiery, spicy, screaming hot, tangy, zesty, ranch, barbecue, sour cream and onion. I really hope you can't hear my stomach growling on the mic right now. They have a light and airy texture with 30% less fat than leading potato chips. And they're the perfect snack for on the go, whether you're a full-grown adult like me or you want to pack a snack for your kiddo heading back to school. Sensible Portions has also just come out with a new product, Sensible Portions Garden Veggie Puffs. God, I love a puff, which are baked and never fried. No artificial preservative flavors or colors.

So head over to Amazon slash Sensible Portions to try Sensible Portions Garden Veggie Straws and new Garden Veggie Puffs. Snack Sensible with sensible portions, garden veggie straws and new garden veggie puffs, Available on Amazon at Amazon.com slash sensible portions. Find sensible portions better for you snacks on Amazon at Amazon.com slash sensible portions. I have some questions from listeners. Yes. Kaeline Faircloth wants to know your favorite place that you've ever photographed. Oh, Santa Barbara.

Really? Obsessed. So beautiful. Anything by the sea. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But then I just, I know it's annoying when I'm like, I can't say, but I just photographed a really incredible project here. You did? Yeah. In Nashville. When do we get to see that? Maybe soon. Okay. I get it. You got to keep things tight. I get it. Yeah. Anywhere by the sea, I'm like, that is my love language. Okay. Yeah. Paige Hallis and a lot of others actually wanted to know how to decide what your home aesthetic is. So this person said, I think, Like there's a lot of stuff I like, but it doesn't necessarily go together.

How do you figure that out? I go less aesthetic leading. I like to tone in on for anyone listening. And they're like, what's my aesthetic? Well, first, buy the book because there's six different design genres in there. Perfect. But more importantly, pick items and accessories that give you energy or that are reminiscent of the future version of yourself. that inspire you, start creating your own living mood board here and live in that.

That's going to give you, it's going to support your dreams. It's going to support where you want to be going in life. And it's going to feel, you're going to feel like supported and seen and peaceful at home. That's how I feel in my house. Yeah. I mean, you're inspired. I'm a really visually sensitive human. And I want to feel inspired by my house.

I want to look at books that or like little trinkets that are reminiscent of great memories you know i've had in my travels and i'm like okay this is a reminder for me to continue to travel and move forward yeah okay this helps me jason always makes fun of me for all my trinkets no you need trinkets you need and trinkets are great uh conversation pieces on coffee tables i think it's what helps you know connect and get a dialogue started you know really obscure little items that you have there okay that's a great answer jason don't make fun of my trinkets Jason needs his own trickets. Yeah, he does.

He, like, has a few fancy watches and, like, some hair gel. But there's a fine line because Ben is, like, also a hoarder, and I'm like, we need to get rid of a lot of those things. I am, I'm not a hoarder, but I collect to myself. I'm too, I'm very sentimental, so I hang on to things. Yeah. Okay, so Carly Chamerlich says, as a fellow photographer, I would love to hear about the journey to getting published. Yeah. And said your work is so beautiful.

Oh, thank you. Publishing takes a few different things. With your client, it's really important to hone in on their brand voice, what their dreams and goals are. I would love to know what type of photographer she is. And then also start introducing yourself to editors. Find your favorite editorial outlet. I mean, we all have them. I know that when I first started out, Architectural Digest was my absolute just gold standard.

I remember being featured there first and just started crying. Oh, that's awesome. I know. That's so cool. I know. They're amazing and they've been really good to me. But it's getting a list of your favorite outlets, reaching out to those editors, start digital, and start understanding their brand voice too and seeing how you can be a resource

to them plus your client and broker the two. Yeah. Great answer. And LinkedIn is a great outlet to find contacts. Sure. Yeah. I mean, networking is so great online now. Social media, you know, Instagram, a simple DM.

Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Stacey Hesowitz asks. biggest do's and biggest don'ts for beginners getting into photography? Explore. For biggest do, explore, be relentless in showing up to your craft every single day. Practice, have a really strong foundation. The first thing I did was hire my contract attorney who really taught me about copyright.

I really think it's important in order to build a beautiful big house. You need a very proper business foundation in the field in which you're navigating. Biggest, don't. Don't compare yourself to other photographers. Develop your own style. Put blinders on to what other people are doing and really explore the things that are lighting you up and the type of photographer you want to show up to be.

I mean, that's just good advice in life. Just don't compare yourself to what other people are doing. We have so much noise coming at us. And I just think as a creative, you are only going to be the best version of yourself, not a second-rate version of somebody else. You know. I had a lot of good one-liners and, like, philosophical idea.

You are a little fortune cookie. I want to just crack you open and read you up every day. Thanks, Mom. I'm here. Everything you say, I'm like, say that again. Well, that was actually the beauty of being self-trained and not having a mentor. There were also a ton of failures with that. But coming into, I came into a really antiquated side of the photography.

industry. There was a circuit of like 15 really awesome men and not a lot of women. And so I was just trying to break in and I didn't know what I was doing. And so I really just honed in on what I wanted to do in my visual voice and led with that. And I think that's what helped me pave my way really strongly. Do you see like such a difference in the world now with females than you did when you first started? Like decision making, starting your own businesses, like having a voice. I think it's inspiring to see everything going on right now. I think that we, oh, man, we are very powerful on our own, but we are so much stronger together. And I think you also would agree with this. The more I've entered in and owned, you know, myself in this space, it also takes a village to

support you. And I don't know, I just think when we let go of the ego and really work strongly together like we we can do incredible things and it and women doing that inspire me every day and i think it's as simple as like everyone's like but how do you do that i think it's as simple as just doing it once and seeing what it brings you and how powerful it is yeah and how it lights you up at the end of it yeah yeah it's always like everyone makes things so complicated like how how just do it well that's the thing like i didn't have a blueprint no i mean there was no blueprint at the time of How do you get published? Like, I just put two and two together.

This is the editor. I have an incredible project that really communicates with their brand. Let's see. What's the worst they can say? No. Well, I think that's people's biggest fear is being told no. I was told no when I met with my first literary agent. And she was lovely about it.

They were lovely and very gracious about it. And I just flew back from New York with my tail between my legs, cried. But then, like, refocused and still went after it. And I didn't say no to myself. They can tell you no all day long. you know there it is boom can we uh put that in the notes for having that is the clip of the instagram story right there i love that okay i've got um a little game for you oh gosh it's no it's the most simple game you've ever played in your whole career of games okay um are you

playing with me sure i will but it's more in your profession okay so it's hello or goodbye so basically are these short-lived trends or here to stay. Okay, we can do those. Okay. Ship lap. It's here to stay. Hoof in my house. Okay.

Yeah, that's a traditional. Ship-flop is a traditional southern aesthetic. Yeah. I mean, it's here to stay. I'm seeing it horizontally, vertically where it's staying. It's staying. Okay, good. Yeah.

What about white trim? White trim. I don't, I mean, it depends. on what the wall color. I think your trim needs to be the color of the wall and your ceiling. Okay. That's so good to know. Yeah. I don't love, I mean, I like to walk into a space and have my eye move around the room and not be immediately into, like, focused on a hole. And so sometimes white trim is a visual distractor for what else is going on in the room. Yeah. So if you have like gray walls, you need to have gray trim and a gray ceiling. Okay. You write this down.

Or I could just listen back to the podcast. Okay. Or we could just have wine in your house. Or you just come over and you like, change this, change that, change this. I never like to put people to work if they're coming over for wine. But, okay, all white cabinets. Yeah. But also they have to go up to the ceiling.

I don't want to see like some pocket where there's roosters. No. That's what I need to change online. Yes. And you can even do a soffet where you can do fake cabinets. I have fake cabinets. that go all the way up to the ceiling. What do you mean?

Fake cabinets? I mean, I just have, like, cabinet doors on, you know, faux cabinet. So it looks like I have functioning cabinets all the way to the ceiling, but I'm not 20 feet tall. So, you know. Ah. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah, you can build it out.

Okay. So it's continuous. Your eye goes immediately up to the ceiling instead of, like. That's another. Write that one down. Listen back. Talk over wine. Okay.

Bold colored furniture. No. It's a trend. Well, ew. It's just, it's hard when that trend goes away. And furniture is such an investment piece. I personally like investing in really high quality, good fabric, more expensive items because those are the items that you're going to have the longest and they may transition and go with you to other homes. And then if you are a lover of color, bring it in through art, accessible. Ceres, throws, all of that. That's the point. Or, and if you're just a lover of color, go for it. Get the pink couch with the pink walls, with the orange throat. Like, do it. Yeah.

Just don't spend too much money. You know, I know, because it will go away in about a year. That's true. Oh, no, year. She is. I mean, did it? Okay, so my mom always taught me. She was like, invest in the thing, you know, invest in the classic staple pieces and then

spend like 20 bucks on the trendy stuff. Yeah. Okay, that's fair. Yeah. This is really good advice. um granny chic no i can't like that's like silver spoon i was just thinking that the spoons i know i can't spoon collection but i love a good like you know antique plate art installation i can handle that okay okay like granny chic settle in a plate i'm like not happening i can't

i'm gonna offend a whole group of women here in a minute That's okay. I feel like you're coming from a place. Power is restraint right now. I'm like holding back. No, don't hold back. People, they're only upset if it's hidden home. Oh, I don't know.

Okay, what about, I feel like I know the answer to this. Sliding barn doors. Depends. Oh. You know, if it's on a barn, yeah. And there's a horse behind it. Oh, okay. That's very nice of you.

Yeah, but no foe. I feel like you haven't been. able to have a sip of wine. I've been making you talk for so long now. You're like, okay, you enjoy that little sip. Um, archways. Love them. Okay. Same. Yeah. And subway tiles. Love them. You do. Do a full wall. Full wall. I would actually love for you to come over for wine now that I'm thinking about it. Also plaster. What do you mean? Oh, give me all the plaster. What's, it's just a really beautiful texture on a wall. It's a really beautiful finish. Oh. Mm-hmm. It's very reminiscent of like italy in the okay what's your favorite go-to like online stuff i'm like asking for

myself but like shopping online to redo these the stuff okay so in the book digital vintage stores are the new like antique wall and my go-toes are cherish dot com okay great first dibs awesome jason home i think they're based out of chicago they're great atsy yeah etsy's awesome i like mixing old new so in our home one of my favorite rooms is our living room you need to come in i'd love to it's it's all fabric walls and lots of great natural light and i've tons of books and i've like beautiful patina and urns and it's just like anchored in peace yes that sounds like you and i are like all zen over here we're like my house was peaceful until i heard that i was like god yeah give me ever anything draped in linen i'm i'm in or like mow hair i just i just

bought brown new linen curtains. They're beautiful. Yeah, clearly it's writing everything down over there. I know, but also with linen curtains, I do faux partitions, like, where you don't think curtains should go. I mean, I just feel like it opens up the space and makes it look a little bit larger. Well, I have, I don't know if you remember, but in my kitchen, I have, like, a, what's the curtain rod with just, like, a hanging.

Yeah. Fancy panel. Panel. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to get a new one there because I want to get, actually, I want to get hanging greenery there now. Oh. No. Yeah.

Suspended. I mean, yeah, suspended from the ceiling. Maybe. Or maybe just floating shells with some greenery on it. What about a floating piece of art? I've thought about that too. Okay. We have options.

Okay. Or a mirror. No? No. Well, do you need more light in the space? No. Okay. Then no mirror.

Okay. Yeah. God, you're good. Okay. Well, let's talk interiors and exterior. Okay. So concrete floors or hardwood? Oh, okay.

I'm a little biased because I'm also coming off of a kitchen leak with my hardwood floors. I know. So I'm like, oh, never again, hardwood floors. Yeah. Because we had to refinish all of them. That happened to me too. Oh, my goodness. Yeah.

Both. I love concrete floors, though. You do? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I also love like limestone pavers. I don't know what that is.

I love anything like of the earth or like really. I love light floors. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay. What about hardwood or laminate? Just kidding, hardwood. Yeah.

That was a trick question. Totally joking. But I'm sure your lamin at home is great. But if you had the option. Option hardware floor. Yeah, for sure. Dark interior or bright interior? Both.

Yeah, me too. I like the contrast of a dark room next to a light room. Yeah. Or I love, I just love, If it's going to be dark, have it be all dark and just be very monochromatic and it's in like all the deliciousness of it. You know, if it's going to be light, like let it glow. Yeah. Do you feel that way about the exterior too? I love dark homes. You do? Yeah, love dark homes. I'm starting to. I never, I always thought I wanted like the light. Dark is, darkest trending right now also like of the,

or one of my favorite places that I've not gone to, but it's unlike my bucket I bucket list. Omengiri, I feel like you're getting like all of these very simple geometries. That's the place I picked out? Okay, can I tell you this? So Ben surprised me with an Amangiri trip when I was writing the book and I was on deadline and we could not go. No.

I know. Oh, that's devastating. I literally was just looking that up. I'm still crying about it inside. Can you go another time? I think so. He may be, if he's smart, yes. Yeah.

That's so funny. I literally just pulled that up on Instagram and showed Cleo. Like we need to go. Yeah. I want to go. Yeah, I love that. Obsessed. And it's such, it's like a little hidden garden.

Yeah. It's beautiful. It feels very earthy. I'm like being called to the mountains right now. Yeah. You know. I love that you know that. Yeah.

Okay. Last one. Colored accent wall or wallpaper accent wall. Never an accent wall. Really? Yeah. Ever. Tell me why.

It just breaks up your visual consistency. And it's also done in a really tacky way. I'm like, if I see a turquoise accent wall, we cannot, we are going, my niece 13 years old. Or maybe we can. Or maybe we can. And we need to have a conversation. Yeah. You know, but I just think the rooms, it's hard to do an accent wall well. And when you do it well, it's pretty expensive. And it's not economical. It's with like stunning brass cloth or, you know, some of those items. That's just not really obtainable. And I like my interiors to be really accessible and biting, where you sit and stay a while, you know. And it's visually. This greenery on the wall. It's consistent.

It's from wall. We like that. You know. Good. You know, and it matches, those can't see it, but it matches like we've got peacocks and we've got, you know, a lot of. It's really cute in here. Yeah. For those of you who can't see it.

In your living room, in your bedroom, I don't know. You can do a lot with like millwork. You can do a lot with, there's nothing more beautiful than just. a solid color on your walls, trim and feeling. Okay. Yeah. Good to know. Last but not least, tell me your confession

because you're not getting out of here without telling me an embarrassing story. Oh, no. You can't. I'm like, who do I need to apologize to first before this comes out? Okay, I have to set the tone first. Okay, set the tone.

Do you need more wine? What do you need? Oh, no. Okay. Something stronger. Actually, no. This is, this was funny. This was a funny faux pop.

Okay. I was not very straight-laced in high school. Yeah. Okay? Very straight-laced in college. Mm-hmm. And then, like, just we'll fast track to right now. The book came out last year.

Yeah. On a Tuesday. And somebody on my team, how I cannot disclose their responsibilities. Yeah. Drops off. Um. a bottle of champagne, and what I thought were CBD treats. So, like, brownie and something you may smoke.

Yeah. So I was like, okay, that was like on a Thursday. And then I'm on a full two-week press junket, get through that. And then I wake up on a Saturday morning after the press junket. I'm calling my mom. I'm on the phone with her. I'm drinking my coffee. I'm like literally in a hoodie and like underwear.

Yeah. Like trying to find breakfast. We have no food in the house. And then I see this CBD brownie. So I'm eating like half the brownie while I'm on the phone with my mom. She's like, I'm so proud of you. I love you so much. And I'm like, oh, you know, like, what are you doing?

I'm like, I'm eating a brownie. I'm celebrating with a brownie. Just, I was like, I'm stressed and it's CBD and I'm going to be like fine. Okay. Oh, so a few hours go by. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm making lunch.

I go upstairs. I have, like, a minute of, like, mass euphoria. I was laughing. It was great. To then having, like, all extremities, mind, physical, like, extremely altered. I felt like I was sinking into the floor. I felt like I was not able to breathe. It was triggering all of my anxiety responses.

And then I had Ben carry me because I could not walk. Stop. Yeah. Was not functioning like a human being. It was fully THC. It was a 400 milligram. Nobody wanted you about that? I had 20 milligrams.

Oh, shit. I should have, my body way, I should have had like five. Five? Four. F*** me up. I mean, I had no clue. So then Ben is like sitting on the bathroom floor with me. The entire day, room is spinning.

I feel like I'm in Alice in Wonderland. And I'm like screaming at him because he's not taking me to the hospital. and I thought I was dying. That's an awful feeling, ma. Confession. Oh, my. Wait, how long did that last? Don't do drugs, kids.

Yeah. Moral of the story, don't do drugs. Not all brownies are good brownies. No, they're not. Oh, my gosh. No, all brownies come from Girl Scouts. That would scare me. Like, if that, my anxiety would be so triggered.

I was like, I will never do that again. If I, I'm actually a fan of taking a little gummy every once in a while, but it has to be, I'll take, If it's 10 milligrams, I'll only eat half. Caitlin, I thought my arms were being eaten by my couch. Yeah. Well, 20 milligrams will do that too. I literally was in Alice in Wonderland. Dang.

Is it funny now? Yeah. Okay. Did your husband think it was funny? Dying. Okay. He was Googling. Like, he's in healthcare and he's like, my wife ate XML.

Yeah. And all of these blog forums were like, you can't take her to the ER. there's nothing to do she has to sleep it off and so he him not taking you though at the time I was like you're trying to murder me do you love me do you want to be married to me oh no oh my gosh

you should have made him eat the other half of the brownie and then like he's very responsible oh okay he definitely balances me out he's like what the hell did you eat I was like a brownie I thought it was innocent do you still have the other half no no I was going to No, but I definitely have the other thing.

And I was like, I can't. Tell everybody where they can buy your book. If there's anything we missed, what do you want everyone to know? You are so sweet. Definitely support your local bookstores. Yes. It's really important right now. All major retailers.

And that's it. I'm really grateful for you guys holding space today. Of course. Because we're awesome. I've been wanting to have you on for a while now. I know we talked about it on Instagram a while ago. And so I'm glad we could actually do it not over Zoom in person. and chat. And I feel like you really inspired me today. Well, this was amazing. Yeah. Yeah, I'm proud of you. Did I inspire you to not go eat the rest of your brownie and no more brownies? Wait, I want to know, wait, I want to know what else. What are you excited about right now? What's giving you life right now? Okay, so many things. Wait, I want to know what's giving you life and what's giving you peace. Okay, what's giving me life is podcasting back in person. I feel.

I feel like. Yeah. I really feel like it's true. I forgot how much I needed this in my life, like having human interaction like this. It's important. We're supposed to be connecting. Yeah. And it's like obviously it feels like it's not work for me, but it is. And that's it started to feel like work at home with Zoom. Yeah. We're doing a podcast tour, which will bring me life. That is amazing. I'm going to Minneapolis, Boston, Chicago, New York. You're Washington, Charlotte, and then I'm going to end up in Nashville. So you should come to one. I will. Okay. I'm there. So, yeah, connecting with the vinos really brings me life. Yeah.

And then what brings me peace? My dogs. They're the best. It actually scares me how much peace they bring me because my pessimistic brain goes, what happens when they die? No. It's dark. No, that's really, we went for a turn, but we're going to clone them.

Yeah. Okay. But no, you just have to. They are earth angels, and I am very much. They are earth angels. They are earth angels. They are earth angels. When I'm in a bad place, if I'm gone away from home and I come home and they're just

lame beside me, it's crazy how peaceful I feel. I love that. Yeah. Same. And you know what else I discovered? I did this once in the last, oh gosh, I had my tarot cards read. Yeah. And I asked her how I could personally feel more grounded.

And she said, literally put your feet in the ground in the dirt. grounding. That's called a grounding exercise. And I did it and I was like, I'm crazy. And then I did it and I was like, oh. Did you pair it with breath work? I mean, I didn't like do a certain breath exercise, but I focused on my breathing. Yeah. Yeah. It was good. Truly life changing. Good. You should also visualize the things that are not working for you or serving you going through your feet and down through the core of the earth and being repurified. Okay. Just like releasing it. I mean, I'm a big fan of writing those. shit things down and then I burn it. Burn it. You can do the same thing with grounding. I love that. Wait, now you answer that.

Oh, okay. What's giving me life right now? Yeah. And don't say squid games. No. It's a Netflix show that everyone's talking about. No, I haven't even seen it. I don't know.

I think what's giving me peace. I'll start there. What's giving me peace is just. being really grateful with where we are in life and where I am and just, you know, sitting there and just kind of being content and happy and in like receiving mode. I think that's really important. I think that's really tough to do in this time in the world right now too. So that's awesome.

Well, last year I was like the little honeybee and now this year I just want to be the honeypot. Oh, good. So I want to be the honey pot. Yeah, honey pot. We can be the honey pot. So that's giving me peace, you know. And then what's making me feel alive and. it's just new creative projects, you know, possibly on the horizon.

I know I'm excited. I know you keep dancing in your chair there. I can't wait to find out what's happening. We'll tell everyone where they can find you on Instagram so that they can see what's coming up for you. You're so sweet. At Alyssa Rosenhack. Spell it out for the people because I had somebody, I had an Alyssa in my off-the-vine

Facebook group who said everyone calls her Melissa and doesn't know how to spell it. It's a mouthful, but it's A-L-Y-S-A-R-O-S-A-R-S. E-N-H-E-C-K. Perfect. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you. Love having you on.

Me too. Later. I really do. I'm like, rejuvenated. Cheers. Oh my gosh. Cheers. I'm Caitlin Bristow.

Your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com. The podcast. One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.