Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Amanda Hirsch | Her Era of Yes, Netflix Is A Joke Fest, & Redefining Motherhood!

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Starting point is 00:01:13 with promo code OTB and Apartments.com, the place to find a place. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Hey, Vino's real quick, if you are listening right now, which obviously you are or you wouldn't be hearing this, can you hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're on? Please, that one simple thing helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast and making these episodes the best they can possibly be obviously for you. That's the only favorite I'm going to ever ask, okay? It truly means the world to me.

Starting point is 00:01:49 Thank you. Now let's get into it. Hey, everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow and Amanda Hirsch, aka Not Skagit. skinny not fat is back on off the vine. I always love talking to her. It's one of those podcasts that I forget in podcasting and think I'm just talking to a friend. But she is in a completely different era of her life, which I am loving for her. It feels especially different this time because she went from building an empire talking about pop culture on her social media to now stepping directly into

Starting point is 00:02:17 it. She is performing live. She is saying yes to things that scare her. She's expanding her identity beyond commentator and into a creator, performer, and personality in just a whole new way. I'm really proud of her and I love listening to her speak on this. So today we talked all about this shift that she's been in. Her year of yes, which is now turned into more of an era of yes. Performing at Netflix is a joke fest. Doing her own live variety show, manifesting dream guest. She's been getting some good ones, raising two kids in New York City and just how her relationship is going with her body, her ambition and identity as her life and role evolves. As who she is online. So obviously, we needed also her hot takes on pop culture. Did I talk about

Starting point is 00:02:58 Jacob Allure an appropriate way? No. Do I have appropriate things to say about him? Also, no. So we get into it all. Love her as always. So let's welcome Amanda to the podcast. I actually don't know if it's like an age thing. Like I'm like, it's not an age thing that I like want to like cover more of my face. Like I don't know. Don't do that. I like want like it makes me feel like just better. I don't know why. And sometimes it really elevates. It elevates like an outfit. Like I did always won glasses since I was a little kid, so this isn't new. I do it's a cute accessory.

Starting point is 00:03:29 Yes, it's a cute accessory. You do them too. Yeah, all the time. Yeah. And do you have a number? What do you mean? Like you have a prescription? Oh, no, I don't have a prescription.

Starting point is 00:03:39 I just wear them for straight funsies. Stop. You don't even have a baby prescription, Caitlin. You fraud. Nope. 2020 Vision, just trying to be cute out here. Oh, that's crazy. I went so my whole life I wanted glasses like was jelly of like people that had them and then I go to renew my license and they were like you have to do an eye exam it's been five years or whatever so I go and I'm like Z two five and they're like okay no like it was so crazy oh really so confident I've always had 2020 vision and they were like no do it again and I was like nine seven like so confident and and they were like no you have a little

Starting point is 00:04:20 situation. I was like, what? So I don't like need like it's not like on my license. I can't. It's more like stigmatism point two, like super small, but I was like, I totally lied to you. I do have a tiny stigmatism. And if I really wanted to, I could probably get a prescription, but I don't need it. And I don't want it until I have to. Yeah. I don't know. I couldn't decide if to believe in the myth that like if you get them, then your, your eyes will be trained to need them, you know. I don't believe anything they say. I know.

Starting point is 00:04:56 I'm a conspiracy theorist now. Me too. No, because I don't think they're conspiracies. I don't know if I'm a theorist. Wait, we believe or we don't believe. We do.

Starting point is 00:05:08 We do believe. All of it. All of it. Oh my God, like the aliens, Barack Obama just said. I saw that. When Barack Obama said, he's never met one,

Starting point is 00:05:18 but they're here, I was like, he all, he just confirmed. what we all already knew. But I really think that the pandemic just, like, desensitized us to so much shit that now, like, everything that's coming out about anything, we're kind of like, yeah, of course. I don't know, babe.

Starting point is 00:05:35 I feel like this alien thing should be a bigger deal. Like, that's crazy, you know? But what do you mean? What do they look like? Like, I don't want to know. It's I'm sort of like head in the sand gal, you know? Like, I don't want to know. You know, I don't want to know.

Starting point is 00:05:50 I don't want to know. But if he's saying it, it must be true. It's Barack Obama. He's not going to go on the record and lie. That ain't his character, you know? He said it so nonchalantly. But that's what makes me say, I'm like, they're just trying, I don't know who they are, but I feel like everybody's just trying to casually drop things on us.

Starting point is 00:06:10 But I also think the aliens are AI. I think that's what they're, I think they're like robots. Like they're like our computers. They're just getting smarter and smarter. I can't handle this information. Well, let's move on. That's fine. I have more topics.

Starting point is 00:06:28 We're already recording, so we might as well just move on. Wait, where were you last? You were at a little watch party for Tell Me Lies. I was. Do you watch? Okay, I've only seen season one, but now I'm now that I'm bored. I forget how I get frustrated with you. I know, but you'll be so much happier with me.

Starting point is 00:06:47 Okay. I'm better. I'm better. I watch Summer House now. Like you're on current season? I watched season three, four, five, six, skip seven, watched most of eight and I'm on nine. And I really love it.

Starting point is 00:07:05 I didn't think I would like it. It's a good one. But yeah, you're very, whenever we chat, I'm like, oh my God, right. I'm trying to be better, though, because I'm trying to treat it now that it's, I'm like, okay, this is part of your job, Caitlin, step it up. So I've been, I am so in the Wuthering Heights era. I am like, I had an orgasm in my sleep last night thinking of Jacob. I literally woke up having an orgasm.

Starting point is 00:07:29 No. I swear to God. I was like a 14 year old boy having a wet dream. Yeah, has that ever happened? You dream? He got in your dreams? No. Oh.

Starting point is 00:07:39 You know who I've had multiple dreams about in my life and one of the only people? Yes, babe. How did you fucking know? Same. Stop. Same. Stop. I can't wait, that was your witch. I am a witch.

Starting point is 00:07:52 Babe, that was crazy that you just, you didn't even let me finish my sentence. Because, I was like, do you know what? Justin Bieber. What? How did you do that? Well, first of all, my whole gut just screamed at me, at me that it was Justin Bieber. And I too have, I've talked about it on my podcast before that I have very vivid dreams about him.

Starting point is 00:08:12 And then I keep seeing things on Instagram where it says like scientists are, proving that dreams actually happened in another realm or another lifetime. And I'm like, I knew it. I know in my dreams that Bieber wants to be with me. He's just can't because of Haley. That's so crazy. And I feel like he's my only like one that I remember, you know, like maybe some others snuck in, but that's a recurring. Like it happens once or twice a year. You know what I mean? Oh, mine's once or twice a week. No, I swear. Oh, my God. Sleeping Caitlin is so horny. I know. I don't know what the heck that is about. I don't know if it's because I started taking testosterone cream and my hormones are like back on track. But also it's literally maybe three times a week with Justin Bieber for me. And it's like very vivid. Yes. I have a question for you. Is this in your dream is it like the most intense love but you're also like so there for him that he just like trusts you and you like have this trust with him? No. Okay. Oh yeah, me either.

Starting point is 00:09:17 Wait, can you tell me what happened with Wuthering Heights? So you watched it. Did you love it? So I never read the books. I understand that there's like some upset that it's not the exact same. And I hate when I read a book and I'm so invested and I already have a vision of what it all looks like. And then I see the movie and I'm like, that's not it. I get why people would be upset.

Starting point is 00:09:40 But I haven't read the books. And I was obsessed with the movie. But I didn't cry at the end, which made me feel like a robot. Okay. don't tell me because I people are going to be like, how don't you know the ending? But I don't. I've watched versions of it, I think, in my past, but I haven't.

Starting point is 00:09:54 I don't remember. But even all the scenes, like with the hands and the mouth and the, the rain. So it's just all of that. It's all of that and more. Because you've obviously, you're online. So you've obviously seen the interviews that they do together where did you see that he watched that she did this in the rain one time? And it wasn't even in the script for him to do that.

Starting point is 00:10:16 to her. He just did it. I just got goosebumps. And he did it just like blocking the sun. And they were like, that is the most romantic thing. And he just thought it was like practical. But that's just how, that's just who he is. And then how old is he? Do you know? We can Google it. I feel like under 30 though. I think 28. Is he still with Olivia Jade? Because that threw me for a loop. Why do I just like my brain is for someone? I know. He's 28. June 26. Is that still a Gemini? It's not a Gemini anymore. No, he's a cancer. He would be a cancer, a just sensitive soul romantic. First of all, babe, like, he really is like the epitome to me right now in Hollywood of just a movie sex. And yes, but like that exudes all of that. First of all, I see, I just want to interview him

Starting point is 00:11:07 so he like moves my hair out of my face. Like I've seen him in interviews. He always touches the person. And I want to tell you guys something, which is like, I don't know if you experience this, Caitlin, when you interview guys, but like when I interview guy actors specifically, it could be reality TV stars, too. I've seen that with them. They so don't give off vibes. Do you get what I mean? Zero vibes. You know what I mean? Like, it's like a lot of these like actor types. And by the way, you guys, I'm not going to say names, but guys that you think are so hot that you've like seen them in shows. You're like, oh my God, I would. And then they're near you and you don't crumble because they're not giving you any of that energy.

Starting point is 00:11:50 They're not like communicating with you in that way. They're not. So I'm waiting. Me too. I'm waiting. I'm waiting for someone to sit in that chair and like give me vibes. You know what I mean? Just like I have vibes, you know?

Starting point is 00:12:03 And he literally I've seen like three interviews where he like move something out of her face. Like did you see him say hi to like a co-star like this? It's just like. It makes me uncomfy. Yeah, it kind of does. And by the way, Re Olivia Jade, I don't care about the college scandal anymore.

Starting point is 00:12:22 That's really all I know of her. I've seen some of her get ready with me is I don't really care about them. And if I had to say, no, I don't think she's good enough for him. I had to say that on record. Okay. She was on dancing with the stars.

Starting point is 00:12:34 And so I interviewed her once. Yes. Really? She was the season after me. She was with Val. And what? Yes. And I think there was like rumor.

Starting point is 00:12:43 about, I mean, there's always rumors about people on Dancing with the Stars with their partner, but I saw rumors that there's something between them, but I, they could absolutely be rumors. Wait, between Val and Olivia? Yeah, but I don't know. While he was married? Oh, was he? I don't know. I don't know the relationships there.

Starting point is 00:12:59 They're probably, they were, it was probably just because, um, that's what happens when anyone is partnered with Val. All of a sudden, there's just like rumors about him. But, uh, I interviewed her and I just, but I guess this was so long ago. She just reminded me of a teenage girl. Like, she just seemed. very young and like he doesn't have Instagram and she her whole career is Instagram. She's beautiful.

Starting point is 00:13:21 She's just like it looks like a perfect little doll. But I just was like thrown for a loop because I just pictured him with like a Caitlin Bristow or something. But here's the thing. So he dated Kya Gerber before. Yes. And that made sense because they both love to read. She has a book club.

Starting point is 00:13:43 Like she posts about her book club. I'm like, babe, no one cares. but like she is like that to me makes you sound smart. Like if you're like reading books all the time, having a book club when you're like a model and could be just like doing that. And he's very like has a paperback in his back pocket kind of guy. So that felt like two. Too hot nerds.

Starting point is 00:14:04 It's too hot nerd. So it made sense. But we, I think we need to talk about if we're talking about this, the press tour because I went on record. I love I'm being dramatic today. I went on record saying at the beginning that I don't think, do you remember, again, I want to not get frustrated with you here. Do you remember the promo tour for Glenn Powell and Sidney Swimmy's movie? I do.

Starting point is 00:14:28 Where she was like grabbing his dick almost. Like his girlfriend broke up with him over it. This was a very real thing. We're like. Yes. I remember. Yeah. For anyone but you or something.

Starting point is 00:14:39 I think the movie was called. Anyone but you. Yeah. By the way, terrible. Like I watched that movie after. I was really bad. But it got people watching. It was a whole thing.

Starting point is 00:14:48 And I think her name is G.G. Paris, like his ex. She literally, I know I'm saying went on record a lot today, but went on record. She did. She did. That's why they broke up. Yes. And I was covering this whole press tour saying, this is so fucked up. They both have partners.

Starting point is 00:15:05 Like, why would they do that? It's not worth it. People will see the movie. And then I was, my theory was that this could destroy a relationship. And then when they broke up, my theory was that it was because of that. And then like a year later, she confirmed it and said, like, I hope it was kind of worth it. And even Glenn Powell in interviews, I feel like the way he spoke was like, Sydney knows what she is doing. She's a genius.

Starting point is 00:15:29 And it's like, she's not that big of a genius. Like, it's not that crazy. So this is a tale as old as time. Okay. It's the oldest time. And I read this book, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Yes. Wait, did you read that book?

Starting point is 00:15:42 Yes. I love that book. I am a book nerd. I also have a book club. We're called Booked and Busy, and it's amazing. But yes, I love that book. Wow, that, it's like stayed with me. I wrote down quotes from Evelyn.

Starting point is 00:15:55 But it's very like, I mean, even though that's historical fiction, but like it just should, Hollywood does have that. Very planned. Some relationships are fake, for sure. They're beards. It's all happening. Oh, I believe all of that. But with Margo and Jacob, it didn't give me that vibe at the beginning.

Starting point is 00:16:14 It didn't give me the vibe. of let's pretend we're in love, you know? What? What vibe did it get? Well, I'm trying to think. Did it give you Sydney, Sweeney and Glenn Powell? No, not as much more real. Like I thought, I was like, I see what you guys are doing with Sydney and Glenn.

Starting point is 00:16:32 With Margo and Jacob, I'm like, they're really in love. I see. Yeah, I get what you're saying. It's more of like a comfortable love. Yeah. You think they are in. love. Yes. Didn't she say like she actually forgot she was Margo Robbie for a minute and she was fully like in love with the character. She said wild things on this press tour, which I don't think, again,

Starting point is 00:16:58 like my husband already knows like, yes, he's going to hear me calling Jacob a Lorty hot. Like he's going to, you know, and he'll just be like, whatever. Does he love it? Like no. If he said, I would do it, how would you feel? And I'm like, we can't play that game. It's just not going to happen. You're not going to be a podcaster or not going to be like, let's not discuss that. not on brand. That's not. You're not that person, but that's like nothing compared to what these Hollywood people do. And I have, I'm sure like you, like friends in the industry, people have told me like you film a show or a movie. You're in a bubble. Yeah. You're in Canada. You're in Atlanta. You're in the Moors. You're separated from anything that you know in your real life of your

Starting point is 00:17:39 family and your baby or your whatever. And you are in this bubble. Yeah. with this person acting. Like you're not, it's not just like you're at work doing a nine to five desk job and see that like you are fully in love and making out and like having fake sex. And then after that seeing them and having them be part of your world. So like what I've heard from actors, it's like it's very intense no matter what.

Starting point is 00:18:06 Sometimes you finish it and you're like by forever and, you know. But so many times I feel like it happens like Olivia Wilde, who blew up her life for Harry Styles. It's like it happens and it makes so much sense that it happens because we can't imagine the intensity of like filming and being on location. I don't think I could ever be in a committed relationship if I was in the acting world because I would fully fall in love with everybody. But that's the thing.

Starting point is 00:18:36 It's like what do people think? It's like two hot people, Margot Robbie, Jacob Lorty like, what do you think? She's like, no, he's my little brother. Like, no. That's not real life. No, and they're both like brilliant in their craft, which like is such a turn on to the other person because they're like inspired by them too. And then they get to act. And they're both Australian.

Starting point is 00:18:56 They're Australian. Yeah, babe. What was the accent they were doing in the movie? Oh, I didn't watch the movie. Is it British? I think it's British. Oh, they were doing British. That's probably hard.

Starting point is 00:19:05 Which is so impressive. I can't even. Yeah. If you're, they're just both incredible. And I feel like I'm just buying what they're selling. I want to see the movie again. And I can't wait for you to see it. It's, you haven't read the book though.

Starting point is 00:19:17 No. Oh, no. But I did see some people, uh, critique it not from what you, not in what, um, you were saying, but that he gives Frankenstein the first half of the movie. And then when I saw clips from the movie and there were times where he was like walking hunched over, I was like, oh, wait, I do see a little Frankenstein vibes. Like he's very tall. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:37 So he kind of almost hunches over. Well, it was the, he was not like a. wealthy man at the beginning. He was a shell of himself. Let him, let him live. Okay. I will. I can't wait to see it. Will you please text me as soon as you get out of the theater? Yes. If you cried because I'll tell you the next day if I woke up needing to change my underwear. Yeah, tell me. And then I'll tell you next time I do that with Justin Bieber. That's not, that hasn't happened in a minute, but I just now I'm like the testosterone cream is working. You're like, I miss you. I miss you, Jamie. No, I'm not kidding, Amanda. I think I even said this on a podcast

Starting point is 00:20:12 before. This is straight humiliation because we, you know how like people really dog on Haley for being a super fan of him before they were together. If and when Justin and I ever get together after their divorce, everyone's going to come back to these podcast episodes and be like, Justin loves a fan girl because I have fully admitted that one time I skipped a workout because I snoozed my alarm that pissed me off. It woke me up in the middle of the Justin Bieber dream. and I snoozed it to miss my workout just to go back into the dream because it was so real. Stop. That's embarrassing.

Starting point is 00:20:47 That's, first of all, when I saw people trying to come for Haley for that, I was like, I don't understand that she made a dream come true. Yeah, you guys, it wasn't you. Yeah, like, this isn't something to hate somebody on. Like, she made it, guys. Like, that's amazing. She's all living our dreams, our actual dreams, she made come true. Okay, to be honest right now, I don't know if she's living the dream.

Starting point is 00:21:09 You know what I mean? I think it, you know, like I think it's probably really hard being married to him. That's true. And you have to be very. That's why we're having. I mean, you said you're having full relationship dreams, like not just sex. What is wrong with me? That feels like when I say it out loud, I go, I'm crazy.

Starting point is 00:21:32 You know, but you're having full relationship dreams, babe. Yeah. And I like sometimes get excited to go to sleep to be like, Who am I going to make out with tonight? And I can control my dreams too, where I can like go in to my dreams. And I can be like, ooh, I'm dreaming. And then I can go do whatever I want and have control over my dreams. Really?

Starting point is 00:21:50 That's called something, no? Probably. Wait, Kailinlan, that's crazy. Yeah, it is crazy. Okay, I feel like we learn so much about adulting as we get older. Like becoming an adult is realizing how important your mattress actually is and getting hyped on it. I recently upgraded to the reserve hybrid.

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Starting point is 00:23:09 spring sale plus get an extra $50 off with promo code OTV exclusive for my listeners. That's L-E-E-E-E-S-A.com promo code O-TV plus an extra $50 off. Go ahead, support our show. Let them know that we send you after checkout. Lisa.com promo code OTV. I'm really inspired by you. I always have been, but like, your energy and your aura and this era that you're in of saying yes.

Starting point is 00:23:42 And you are like, I'm not even kidding. You got on this screen and you were like, oh, I look so bad. I just, a post workout. There's still something about you that's like radiating confidence and joy. Really? That means a lot. Really. I'm not just saying that.

Starting point is 00:23:55 First of all, you're witchy today. I didn't realize we're in this witchy era of oras and fucking things. It's the Chinese New Year, babe. I did. I went straight woo-woo last night. No, you've always had a little woo-woo. You've always had a little low-low. You should have seen me last night.

Starting point is 00:24:09 I was punch dancing in a full moon or in a new moon ceremony. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had, um, salt water in front of me and I was doing some tapping on my third eye. I burned some shit. I did a manifestation. I did a meditation. I did a visualization. I did a journal prompts. I shoved a

Starting point is 00:24:25 crystal up my vagina. It was perfect. Did you actually? No. No. Okay. That would be one step. I would admit it if I did, but I didn't. You would, you would, you would. I would tell you. But yeah, you're just, you're radiating something very, I don't even know what word to use, but you're in your yes era. I am in my yes era. I like that that you said that because I called it my yes year, but that was literally 2025 and then I am going into 2026 with it. Yeah, you're still doing it. And I'm still doing it.

Starting point is 00:24:53 And it feels it's almost like even like last night when I went, you were talking about I went to watch the Tell Me Lies finale with the creator who invited me to her house to see it. Like what? Old Amanda, which my friend really makes fun of me. He's like, new Amanda. Old Amanda would have been like, and not gone.

Starting point is 00:25:14 You know what I mean? It would have been like, for many reasons, I would have said, you know, it's in Brooklyn. I don't feel like it. I don't know who's going to be there. I feel weird asking who's going to be there. She said it was going to be super intimate. Why am I invited?

Starting point is 00:25:27 Who's going to be there? You know, and I would literally was way more nose than yes is for me. And I don't think it's bad. I really thought it was like cool to like, be like, nah. You're like, this is my boundary. Yeah. Like I don't like I just I just listen to myself. I've always listened to myself.

Starting point is 00:25:44 But I think literally yesterday was almost like and this is how the year of yes kind of at the beginning it's really forcing yourself. But now it's sort of like it's almost like an outer body experience. Like when I was leaving my house last night saying bye to my husband, saying by to like Noah, my son was still up. It's like where am I going? Like it was almost like I was pulled by like a straight. You know what I mean? Like it was almost like not a decision. It wasn't like, oh, should I go?

Starting point is 00:26:11 Should I not go? Like, obviously there are certain things that I'm like, no, like not worth my. But there are certain things like I feel like when I clock it very quickly, I know like what I should. Yeah. Then I, and I feel like it's almost like an outer body experience at this point. It's like instead of the autopilot being no, it's more yes. And then it's and it doesn't come with as much anguish of like, ugh, you know, like, which we all love to talk about. It's so memed about like, ugh, you don't want to go out.

Starting point is 00:26:39 you want your friends to cancel, like you want everything to be canceled and done. And I'm like that. Like, there's nothing more than I love, like, I love a cancellation. Yeah. I sometimes will get an amazing opportunity. And my first reaction was like, oh, no, because I have to do something. You know what I mean? Do you get that?

Starting point is 00:26:54 And it's, yes, but I also think there's a little fear in there. Like, I feel like a lot of no comes with a lot of fear, yeah. Oh my God. So much. I think for me realizing that was like the key was like, I would cringe so hard at influencers or anybody that we're that we're going to events that we're getting glam. I would literally say to influencers faces like, oh, like, why are you getting glam every day? Like, are you a loser?

Starting point is 00:27:18 Like, because I know, because like, and you know the mechanics that go behind it. Like, you're invited to an event. You hire a glam team. You're paying for that. You're going. You're not being paid for that. If it's like just like an event that you're not, you know, having a brand deal or anything or working it.

Starting point is 00:27:33 So it never made sense to me. Like it never like, I was like, if you're doing that, like you're a loser. you want to be seen. You want to take a picture. You want to. And I think like I was projecting. Do you know what I mean? Like I was projecting because I was scared to do that.

Starting point is 00:27:49 And I thought I would look like a loser doing that. And I feel that so hard. So I really kind of like flip the switch on that and said, you know, almost every time you went, something good happened, you know. Yeah. Either you had a great time. You were the star of the night. You met people.

Starting point is 00:28:08 you made a connection, you got a pod, get, whatever. Like, I would say 98%. Okay. So, like, I think I was really projecting and protecting myself because that's such an extra layer to deal with, like getting dressed, good, doing the glam, you know, putting yourself out there, going by yourself, you know, going by yourself a lot of the time. And standing like a loser, Caitlin, on the red carpet line. Like, that's not fun for anybody.

Starting point is 00:28:35 I totally understand. Man. It's like you see it from the outside and you're like, oh, so glam. But like, by the way, even celebrities that are big, like, there is a line till it's your turn on the motherfucking carpet and they can get bumped or whatever. But all those things really cringe me out. And I think, like you said, fear. Like I was scared of them.

Starting point is 00:28:56 It scared me. And I think Will Arnette said this and I quoted it that he said, because his friends were kind of saying what you were saying to me, like Sean, um, hey. And Jason Bainman were saying that Wilkins were saying to me, like, you're in this era, you're doing all these things. You're doing the movie. And he said, like, yeah, like, he used to say, I don't want to be caught trying. Yeah. And that line really spoke to me because that's me.

Starting point is 00:29:22 Like, right. Me sitting on my couch being like, oh, like this show is, blah. And that doesn't look like I'm trying that hard. That looks like, oh, like, you know, lucky her she gets to do this from her couch and her pajamas, you know? Right. So I think that felt so comfortable to be, like not only comfortable physically, but also that the way it looked, the way it was perceived. Like I love that it was perceived that way too. So doing the glam and going out or going on this and, you know, wanting to be seen or take a picture or get that.

Starting point is 00:29:52 That felt like it doesn't look cool. It doesn't look not try hard. It looks so try hard. So that really icked me out for a very long time. And I was like for my New Year's resolution of 2025 said, What can I do that's like, you know, really kind of like breaking a pattern, doing something entirely different and trying to change something. And I was like, let's, let's try it. Let's see if I give in to more of that and do more of things and not just my usual.

Starting point is 00:30:23 Just go to the podcast studio, come back, only go if I'm working in the event, only, you know, what would happen. And now it's kind of become a, it just, I feel like I changed my brain. chemistry a bit from going immediately no to like is this a yes like how is you know what I mean again I still say no but well no I because I was thinking about that I'm like I sometimes first all I relate to that so hard where I will project as well where I'm like sometimes I just don't even have the effort to do what half of these influencers are doing so I like dog on it instead right but the thing is there are people out there that are very try hard and you see that and you don't want to be perceived as that because, but at the end of the day, that is not you.

Starting point is 00:31:08 So no matter what you do and what you go after and what you say yes to, you're doing it because you actually have a passion and a purpose behind it and you're starting to understand that you do belong in these rooms and you feel it once you get there and it makes you happy. It's not forced. It's actually just alignment for you. I love that. No, you're a therapist, babe.

Starting point is 00:31:26 I don't know what's happened. Like, I don't know. But I feel like you've come with so much wisdom, but it's so true. thank you. And that makes me, that like really ties things together for me. And I also think like, hashtag no regrets. Like I don't regret the before time because that's who I always was and is a huge part of me. And you're right. And maybe like, no, everything happens at the right time where like, I now feel confident enough to go alone or walk into a room and like meet executives of, you know, and now it also like, you know, go to a, you know, went to some premiere. If I had that

Starting point is 00:32:03 moment. I remember I walked in by myself. It was like this premiere party and I immediately got overwhelmed. I was like, oh my God. This is way more like that I was like and I remember thinking have a drink, leave. Like, you know. And immediately it was almost like I was like plopped out by like very important people that were there. And it's like you were saying like, no, maybe you just like wanted to wait till this point where you felt like you belong there and not like you're arriving to the opening of an envelope vibes where you're just like another where like people care that you're there. They're excited that you said yes. So I think maybe I needed that. And you've worked really hard. You've worked really hard to get there. It's not like you just are trying and you're like, put me in this room because I, like,

Starting point is 00:32:48 maybe I can do you. You've worked really hard to get to where you are. 10 years, babe. Like I look at it now. I'm like, I mean, you have these days too. We've talked about it before and like you get competitive in this industry and you can feel shit about yourself. Like it's such highs and look.

Starting point is 00:33:03 It's like one day you're like, I'm killing it. The next day you feel like a loser. Like it's just the way it is. But then, you know, I'm like, I'm in this game. Like, you know, almost 10 years. Like 10 years since I started my Instagram, like eight years since I started my pod, but like this isn't. And I hear a lot of people that are kind of new in this world and it'd be like,

Starting point is 00:33:24 oh, when did you start? And it's like a year and a half ago. And I'm like, you know, like it's we, yeah. So it's not overnight where like you're like, ah, this is great. Like, no, it's been motherfuck. And I've taken my time to ease into it and to get better at things. That's why it's giving me hope because I got a little down on myself a while back,

Starting point is 00:33:46 like just a couple weeks ago. And I was like, am I a loser trying too hard now with the podcast? Or am I like, I was getting a bit complacent, I think is the problem. And I instead, I had a little pity party, but then I turned the beat around. And now I'm like, wait, I've worked really hard for 10 years. And this is when like really beautiful things can happen. It's not like the end of a decade, an end of an era for me.

Starting point is 00:34:08 Like this could be the beginning of something where I like felt complacent. I realized that I do love what I do. Let's get better at our craft and let's like go kind of be what you're doing. That's the word that I used. Complacent was what I was feeling before the year of yes. That's what I think. Now I'm stepping into the year of the horse and I feel it. I feel like I like changing something up.

Starting point is 00:34:32 Yes, and I feel like I'm like, no, wait, I can do this. Why not me? I'm going to work hard. I'm literally moving to New York, Amanda. You are? Yeah, in April. Shut up. Yes. I will still keep my house in Nashville, but yeah. Wait, I'm so excited. I'm, I'm so excited. Are you, what are you feeling? Terrified. I'm terrified. I'm terrified. I feel like. But you've been so much already. I feel like you've eased into it. Yeah, it's, it's much different than I would. would have, I've wanted, I actually have a message to somebody five years ago saying, I really want to get a little place in New York and like have a New York era. I said that five years ago and I'm finally doing it. So I'm like, it's one of those things. I know I'm scared because New York feels like scary to this little Canadian. I was like, Nashville's like my little happy bubble. It feels safe. And New York, I go, oh, I'm going to want to like do things, which again, why do we stunt our growth with, we're scared and we say no to things that could only benefit us and make us happy and proud of ourselves. Why do we do that?

Starting point is 00:35:38 Well, you know that there's that phrase that's like if you're not growing, you're not living. And I think that is it. And I really connected. I really connected to it because, and I'm proud of myself with that. Like not only the yes, but like, you know, I didn't used to work out. Like working out is now part of my day. I didn't wasn't a book early now I'm getting really into books like I'm like it feels so good to like add new things to your life but not in like a little way and like a big way like going from reinvention yeah like going from and that's I feel like so inspiring to yourself that you're like oh like you don't have to feel stagnant like there's always stuff that you can add and all of a sudden you're changing your shit around but I do want to say to you that I know that you have time. where you feel stagnant, but you are a mother-fucking OG,

Starting point is 00:36:34 and I listen to your podcast. You know, Caitlin, you know that. That is like that, but so could you tell us that I'm a little complacent? When I, no, I'm saying you were an OG and before I started my podcast, you inspired me to start a podcast. Do you understand? Like you, I used to listen to, I used to listen to you and armchair expert, literally. That was my rotation, my love.

Starting point is 00:37:03 So I think that you are, you know, selling yourself short sometimes. And, you know, it is hard. It is hard. I'm sure for anyone in any industry to like, you know, it's saturated as when you started. There was probably not. You see the numbers. And then you're like, I'm, I suck. Why doesn't anyone like me anymore?

Starting point is 00:37:22 Everyone loves you and you really are the OG of, of podcasting for a reason. That's, you know. Isn't it nice to hype each other up and mean it? I totally mean it. Yeah, I mean everything I'm saying to you too. I also read somewhere that it's, we don't have that problem. But like if you're feeling like you jealous of somebody or like competitive, like do the opposite and like hype them up or something. That's what happened.

Starting point is 00:37:49 That is how I changed literally changed. You were talking about changing the chemistry in your brain. That is actually how I changed the chemistry in my brain. I used to be so insecure about other women in any. sort of world that I was in and I would be so jealous and I would try to find things wrong with them. I just said this on another podcast and I immediately went, this is not feel good, this is not attractive, this is not benefiting me in any way and then I switched it to be to being like, am I jealous or am I inspired? And then I started saying I was inspired and by these women and now

Starting point is 00:38:22 I'm like obsessed with women who kill it in any industry and I'm like, I look at it with through such a different lens now because I'm just like look at them killing it. That's, I would have been jealous before and now I'm inspired. That's such a good question. Am I jealous or am I inspired? I thought about putting it on a t-shirt once. Or a tattoo. Be honest.

Starting point is 00:38:41 Be honest. Be honest. Yeah. Te-shirt, writing on t-shirts was like such a thing for a while. Like Summer House I've been watching and the way that Carl rocked t-shirts with words on them like sayings and phrases. I was like, oh, that was such a phase. But if it was still a phase, I'd put that on a t-shirt.

Starting point is 00:38:58 But maybe you're right. will just tattooed that on my eye hand or something. You probably will tattoo it. Yeah. Dang it. Do you have tattoos? I do. Five one, two.

Starting point is 00:39:06 They're all dumb. Like, I have my kids name. So, like, that's the only not dumb one. Yeah. But the ones I got when I was little, like an ome behind my ear. Cute. Like, I was that era. That's okay.

Starting point is 00:39:17 I have so many dumb ones. It's insane. I have so many dumb ones. Would you remove? I've thought about this so many times. I thought I would remove my birds. And then I went back on that and I went, no, I love my birds. I hated them for a minute.

Starting point is 00:39:27 And, but the only one that really, that really, okay, there's three that I really hate. There's a diamond that I got tattooed, like, right on an awkward part of my rib just because I was drunk in Mexico. They had like a sticker list to choose from. One was a diamond. I was like, that one. That's really stupid. I have music notes and stars behind my hair. Oh, oh, right. And then I have an ex-boyfriend's initials tattooed on my foot. Which one? Nobody knew who he was. His name was. Wait, back in the day. Yeah. And so what does it look like?

Starting point is 00:40:00 Because bottom of foot is, is, gets like really like bad, no? Or is it like perfect still? Oh, that's terrible. Oh my God, Kailin. Okay, you need to remove that. It's like incursive and it's so ugly. Wait, was this pre-batchel? Yeah, I was like 24 maybe.

Starting point is 00:40:19 Wait, was this the hockey player? Which one? I did two. I did two hockey players. So is this one of them? Yeah. Wait, I can't believe you got to. His name tattooed, you freak.

Starting point is 00:40:30 I know. I do regret it. I kept trying to make it mean different things. Imagine you were like, I don't regret it. No regret. Hashtag no regrets, Amanda, you said it. Okay, Caitlin, but I do think you should remove that. I'm going to.

Starting point is 00:40:46 Okay. I'm going to. And he's still a friend of mine. I actually still talk to his parents like every week. You do? I get really attached to families. Yeah. I get really attached to families.

Starting point is 00:40:57 and him and I like didn't talk for years and now we'll like send like a happy birthday because I'm so close with his parents. Okay, that's so weird that you're so close with his parents. I literally will go stay at their house like and sleep in his old bed because I'm so close with them. But I don't even think anything of it. No, I don't even think anything of it because they're like my best friends and I don't even think of it as like Jen and Dean's house.

Starting point is 00:41:20 When are you going and spending the night there and what contact? They live really close to my parents' place in. outside of Vancouver and Canada. And their backyard is like my happy place. And we just go and drink wine and hang out by the pool. And then I go home to my other parents house. No, I can't. I can't with you.

Starting point is 00:41:39 No, I can't. Wait, you think I'm funny? Yes. Do you think I could do live performing with Netflix as a joke fest? No, but that's not, there's like so much confusion about this festival. And it's so, it was such a cool opportunity to do a live show. there. By the way, speaking of icks, like, I had live show ick before I ever did my first show. And thinking about fears, it was probably the fear, you know?

Starting point is 00:42:06 But I did for years, like, you know, my agents and whatever would be like live show. I'd hear from in my DMs, like, when are, and I'd be like, no, I'm not a stand up and on this. Like, why would I, you know what I mean? It's all of that. It's like, what am I going to do on the stage? Like, I know this and I know this, but I don't know if it converts to this, you know, and then in my year of yes, one of my things was doing a live show in New York because I'm from New York. So I was like, let's do one in New York, see how I feel. And I'm also very like, I just, I'm thoughtful about everything. So it's like, it's like, let me do it in New York, see how I feel.

Starting point is 00:42:41 If I hate it, I'll never do it again. If I love it and I see like, what were you making a big deal about? First of all, and it was very cool because it was sold out and it made me feel so nice because I had crazy fears about that happening. Yeah. And it was so fun. And it felt so effortless and like all the fears I had were like not there. And then I was like, what were you thinking that like you don't want to be on a stage? Like obviously you want to be on a stage with a microphone.

Starting point is 00:43:03 Like why you pretending? Why did you pretend that you didn't want that? But anyway, so but I still said to, you know, the teams and I'm not going on tour. I would do like one-offs of shows and places that I like. And then this Netflix is a joke thing came up. And I was like, wait, that's so cool. Like Netflix is a joke is huge. And it's an honor to be like part of.

Starting point is 00:43:24 the festival, but it's just going to be like a live show. Like just it's like part of the festival. It's like you being you doing what you do. It's what I would do. Yeah, it's what I would do in New York or Minnesota or wherever. It's just part of this festival. So it does feel like a bigger deal kind of, you know, just because you're, you're in the same, you know, week as like huge comedians.

Starting point is 00:43:50 And but they are having like more podcasts and stuff. It's just a live show in LA. It's on May 8th, but it's just part of this Netflix is a joke. So it's meaningful to me that it's part of Netflix as a joke, but it's not, doesn't mean anything I feel like to people that will come because it's just like you're coming to my live show. But isn't that so fun to see your community that you've built, like and meet people who listen, like and who just literally adore you?

Starting point is 00:44:17 It's so sweet. You've done it, right? You've done, you've done tours. I've done so many tours. In fact, I want to do another one. But again, I'm having the fears of nobody showing up. I'm like, if Justin Timberlake had to shut down his shows because people are not buying tickets. Why do we sink the same?

Starting point is 00:44:31 Like, why are like we have, we do have a lot of like soulful connections because I swear to God and I've probably been on record saying this. I swear my schick and my spiel for the whole time before the tickets for New York went on sale, I remember was saying, you know, I'm just going to have to end up being like Justin Timberlake. and like saying that like that was my shit. My joke every day was the Justin Timberlake joke. So it's so funny that you said that. But yes, it's scary because you never know, you know.

Starting point is 00:45:07 Well, I'll tell you it happened to me once. I was, I booked a show. I completely was a ding dong and booked it on Easter Sunday. And every other place I went to sold out and then this one didn't. And I, it was one of my favorite shows because it was. was so intimate. I didn't go on, like, I didn't read my notes at all. I just completely was like in the moment with these people. And it ended up being like one of my favorite things because I was like, wow, you guys showed up. And who cares if the room is full or not? Like, this was such a

Starting point is 00:45:38 meaningful day for me. Oh, cool. And it was, it was kind of like an ego check. I mean, I think it's still, like I was invited to be a surprise guest on someone's live pot. I won't say who. But she also did it on a date that was terrible. And there were five people. And I was, didn't have your experience. I was so embarrassed even though it wasn't my show. You know, I was so like, and I even asked her team, I was like, who let this happen? You know, like, I was so mortified.

Starting point is 00:46:12 So that, like, scarred me. And then, but, you know, like you were saying about Justin Timber, like, you know how Hillary Duff is back and she's doing a tour. So, for example, what they did is, you know, how she did really small venues at first. She did like these tiny. So that was testing the market. That was testing to see.

Starting point is 00:46:31 Yeah. So like everyone at every level, you know, there's obviously thought that goes into it. And Hillary Duff even doesn't know if she could fill up, you know, can she fill up a stadium? Can she fill up an arena? Like whatever the differences are, you know. Yeah, it's a weird time for for that. She had to, they had to see like how much desire there was for, for, for, a HD in concert.

Starting point is 00:46:56 And then once they saw the small spaces, I guess, fill out so quickly because they were teeny tiny, she's now going to do a world tour. Oh my gosh. She looks so good. Yeah. She's inspo. I sent it to my sister today who's pregnant because like Hillary Duff had four kids.

Starting point is 00:47:12 She, you know, she's now one of those people that like doesn't gain, you know, she's a normal person. And she, look at her. Look at her now. She does look amazing. Okay, we all know this feeling when your to-do list is so long. You don't even know where to start. Oh, I feel like that right now, actually. Work appointments, catching up with friends, remembering to drink enough water.

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Starting point is 00:48:13 Apartments.com helps you get it done so you can get back to literally everything else. So join the millions of happy renters. Find your next home at Apartments.com. place to find a place. I know you're not into like the woo the way I am, but you are into manifesting. And I feel like you like was was this whole goal of exercising and like feeling good in your body on your vision board? And what does a vision board look like for you if you're not into the woo? In general with manifest.

Starting point is 00:48:49 First of all, I believe in manifesting in a way that's not woo. I believe that manifesting the definition is wanting something. The law of attraction. Believing in it, right? Believing that you can do it. Putting it out there working towards it. To me, that's manifesting. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:49:06 It is. But that's all energy. It's literally all energy that you're putting out. So what is the word woo you don't like? I don't, I don't not like it. I just want people to know that it's like way more like logistical and practical than people saying like, so I don't have a. vision board. I don't like now I've started writing things down actually. I've started writing things down

Starting point is 00:49:32 in like my notes app. So I don't forget. I'll be like goals things I want to do with my year of yes. I put like things I checked off. I was like live show. You know, do this, do that, do that. But for me, like I feel like the way I think about manifesting is so technical. Like it's not there's no woo in it for me. There's no like if I believe it I will. But it is like working. Because. I think a big part of it is working towards it, not just believing it. It's like, you know, bad bunny and like, you have to do the work. It's not going to happen. You're not going to win the lottery without filling out a lottery ticket, you know,

Starting point is 00:50:12 but. Right. It's all about putting yourself in situations you wouldn't before, working hard. It's so much patience. It's a lot of things that goes into manifesting. But I think, I think for a step is thinking it, saying it, putting it out there. Like even when I interview actors and it's like there I was five years old and I was like, I'm going to be famous, you know, like even that.

Starting point is 00:50:34 But they said that and then they force their parents to enroll them in acting school. And then you know what I mean? So there are steps to it. But I feel like number one is like put it out there. Like say what you want. Go after what you want, which is scary because especially in professions like this, right, that are like everyone wants, you know, you think everyone like. wants to be, you know, in the entertainment industry, right?

Starting point is 00:51:01 Like, we all wanted to be Juliana Frienne Rancic, you know, or whatever. It's like, oh, you wanted to be on e-news too? That's so crazy, you know? Yeah. But you have to believe that you can be one of the people. Like, you have to believe in yourself enough to think that it's possible. Like, I just posted the other day. I don't know if you saw my post, but I saw this and I was like, oh, my God.

Starting point is 00:51:22 I literally found an email. It was SART. I was going over my SART emails. And I saw one from. 2018 when I was pitching my podcast to networks. And I wrote like, hi, Adam. Oh, I did see this. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:35 And I was like, so I started a podcast. First episode was 800 downloads. Second episode, subscribers only. I didn't promote it. 200 downloads. How crazy. Let's go. Let's like, you know, have you join the network.

Starting point is 00:51:53 I want to monetize. Like I need help monetizing. bitch and he answered me they can't start monetizing before like 10,000 downloads or something and I was like no problem. Okay. No problem. I got it.

Starting point is 00:52:07 No problem. I'll keep going. So how me to me inspired. Like I'm inspired by her with the 200 downloads. First of all, being proud of that because that's not nothing, right? It's not. It's 200 people that are listening to a podcast from a chick that is not, you know, I had some followers, but it's like.

Starting point is 00:52:26 Like I'm not some, I wasn't in the, in the cultural zeitgeist, like if a famous person started a pod, you know? No, it's actually really impressive. So that's crazy to me. And it's also crazy to me that that number didn't scare me. It didn't scare me that he said I will only start making money at 10,000, which is so far away from 200, you know? It's like, okay, I'll get there.

Starting point is 00:52:47 And, and even today, I feel like I have more fears than that girl, because it's like, that would sound so crazy to me how you're going to go from there to there. You know what I mean? But I didn't have that fear. I was like, okay. And also, I think the reason is because if you do something that you love and that you're passionate about and that is genuine, then by the way, Evelyn Hugo said that. She's like, I don't care about money, not primarily in any case. And it's like, that was it for me too. Like, I cared more about what I, you know what I mean? Like, I, you know what I mean? what you're putting out there, who's listening. If this is going to be a hobby at the beginning, then it's a hobby.

Starting point is 00:53:28 And I love it. So many people start a podcast because they think they should do that because they have a platform. So they think that's how I can monetize. Exactly. And that's not going to go. That's not going to go. I remember telling people that like five years ago when somebody was like, oh, I'm going to

Starting point is 00:53:42 start a podcast. I want to make sure this is something that you actually love to do because otherwise you're going to waste a lot of money on equipment and like doing all this stuff. But you have to want to do it and you have to love to do it because it is a big. job and it comes across if you don't like what you're doing. Right. If it's just for money. I know.

Starting point is 00:53:58 It's, it's, yeah, you see that a lot. But even if I have friends that ask me, like, I say that, like, if you have something to say and if you feel like it's going to be different and unique than something that's already out there, then like I'm so for it. You know what I mean? But I, but I think what there is that thing like, not everybody needs a podcast. You know, people love to say that. And I think, like, if you, if you can check those boxes of like, I have something to say,

Starting point is 00:54:22 it's different. I'm passionate about this thing, then yes, if it's like, oh, let's sign someone to do a pod because they're famous. And first of all, it doesn't always work that way.

Starting point is 00:54:34 Like, it's not always going to convert that way. But for me, it always came from passion first. If this can sustain my life, great. If not, I'll work jobs and do this for fun. Who are you manifesting being on your podcast? You get gouggis.

Starting point is 00:54:50 You know, I, I don't know. I was really hot for Megan Markle. I was going to ask about her. I knew you were. I was hot for her because I really felt like it could be good. Like I felt like it could be different. I felt like maybe she could bring something out that she hasn't yet. I was told by people like Amanda, I know you think you're good. And I agree, but you're not going to get something different out of her. Somebody told me. Yeah. Didn't I hear somewhere that it was actually maybe in the works of you getting her on the pod? No, I mean, I know people that, like, are connected that I keep on bringing it up and they do tell me that, which is part of the reason. Does that make you want to do it even more? So you're like, I don't bring something out. I know.

Starting point is 00:55:34 It doesn't scare me. I would be disappointed because I really do feel like, no, there's more. Like, she's, there's somebody else that we're not seeing in all these other interviews. But that's why she's such an interesting one for me. But obviously, like, I don't know. I feel like for me, it's such a, like. an opportunity will come up or I'll see something. Like they're not like specific people in mind that I,

Starting point is 00:55:58 that I ride after. You know what I mean? How does it work for you? Oh, is it Justin Bieber? Yeah. Is it really? I mean, I would love to. Right now it's Jacob Alardi.

Starting point is 00:56:09 Oh, right now it's Jacob Alorti. I would love Jacob Alorti. I would do inappropriate things to have him on my podcast. Wait. Oh, yeah. See, like mine is very, I'm looking at my list. Like, I wanted Charlie X.

Starting point is 00:56:22 I have Megan Merkel, Lindsay Loan. Like I literally, this list is also so, like I really don't, Emma Stone is a big one of mine. Like one day. Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence vibes. Like, I just know. Oh, you and Jennifer Lawrence. How are you not friends? I know, like how, like we're going to, you know, when I hear.

Starting point is 00:56:40 So that's when I do get like, it's like when I'll like listen to another pod they were on. And I'm like, we could be so good to get, you know. Imagine you have a crush on someone. He's like dating someone else. And you're like, but we, we make sense. You know? I do that too. So yeah I do I do that with podcasts all the time.

Starting point is 00:56:58 So I think that's like for me like when the dream guess it's more like people that I think I'll really vibe with and I have this feeling it could be good like you know what I mean rather than like a huge name like obviously she's a huge name. But yeah but it's more like oh my God that would be so good like one day you'll see it one day you'll see it. One day you'll see it could be good could be so good. You're like 70 interviewing her being like I knew it one day that we would get in here. But you know what? Caitlin, and I will say I'm very much about long game. If this can inspire anybody help anyway. I am so much about long game that my friend was like, you're so cute.

Starting point is 00:57:33 He said to me yesterday because I said that about something. And I was like, well, one day, she'll be out of places to go to interview at and she'll come to me. I do that too. I do that. We are kindred spirits. I do the exact same thing. And my friend was like, you're so adorable. Like, it was so like self-deprecating.

Starting point is 00:57:52 like when she's out of options, you know, and there's no place left to go. She won't go again all the places she already. So but I, but aside from that self deprecating part, I also like play the long game. Like just because you didn't get something and it's not only a podcast guest that you want now. Like you have in time, baby, you know? I've recently been having that mindset instead of like, no, I need it now or I'm a failure. I'm really trying to be like, no. This it's all timing's everything.

Starting point is 00:58:24 It's all going to happen the way it's meant to be. And I love when things are meant to be and I hate forcing anything. Yeah. No, I agree with you. I agree with you completely. You like what I mean. You like when it feels good. Me too.

Starting point is 00:58:38 I'm the same way. Which I don't think is like, I think it's like, yes, you have to be also a business person in the world and have to, you know, do all the things that you have to do to get yourself there. but I think that the feeling is so important too. Like for me too. Like I'm, it's not like an ego thing,

Starting point is 00:58:55 but it's like it's a two-way street, you know? I agree. And I just feel like one of my favorite things is, and I know people have said this to you before, is that a lot of people think, okay, well, when I become a mom, I have to like give up on my dreams. And really for you, it opened so many doors

Starting point is 00:59:12 because you were starting to be more aligned with who your purposes and who you're meant to be. And that opened doors without even realizing it. And you make me believe that like age is just a number, not saying you're old, I feel. But like I always thought, okay, I have till 40, you know, until like make hay while the sun shines. And now I'm like, shut up. And like, oh, once I have a kid, how am I going to do it? Oh, I'll figure it out.

Starting point is 00:59:35 Like I just have. But it was honestly you that made me feel that way. And I know other women have told you that before. Like the kids part for sure. And that is, it's so funny. I went on this podcast like a week ago and it was a parenting podcast. And it was like serious because it was like, this girl from the Today Show

Starting point is 00:59:51 and she was like, okay, I saw that you said that one of your favorite compliments is when people say, you know, that you inspired them to like be a mom or that you made it feel like scary. And I was like, my favorite compliment is when people say I'm skinny.

Starting point is 01:00:05 That's my second favorite compliment. You know, when you like, don't read your audience in the room. Like they didn't know what to do. I was like, skinny first, good mom's second. So the amount of time.

Starting point is 01:00:19 I have put my foot in my mouth in interviews. Like I'm a dumbest shit as like shock value. But that means actually so, by the way, this is something I get really daily. It's like, and it makes me feel so happy because I mean, I didn't have that. To me, I had in my mind like if you're a mom, you're a mom and you have the mom haircut, you have the mom clothes and you're into the mom stuff and you're taking the mom classes. And now you want to be a parenting coach. Now you want to give up your career and be a doula.

Starting point is 01:00:46 Like that's what I saw was my sister too. was kind of like that. And like, that's what I saw. And I was like, by hook or my, like, I just was like, I am not going to do that. Like, I am not going to do that. I'm going to keep on going because my career wasn't there yet. And I was like, I'm going to breastfeed that baby. And I'm going to be with my phone in the mother fucking air doing my shit.

Starting point is 01:01:09 And I don't care. And then when the baby came and I did that, like I did exactly what I said I was going to do. And it's one of those moments in your life. because, you know, you make plans. God laughs. This time God did not get the last laugh because I was like, damn, I'm literally like this. You know, it was COVID. No, I was born in COVID.

Starting point is 01:01:28 I was breastfeeding and I was talking about hilarious Baldwin, an army hammer. There were a lot of scandals then. Yes. Looking like shit, bloated postpartum and literally getting my first brand deal all at that time. So, you know, I look at it as, no, I'm not saying have babies. shit will happen for you, but just know that if you want to have kids and you're scared that it will stop you from specifically pursuing dreams or, you know, getting ahead in your career,

Starting point is 01:02:00 like it doesn't have to stop you. And sometimes it could have the opposite effect. And I really do feel in a woo-woo way, KB, in a woo-woo way, that my kids bring me mausel, you know, bring me good fortune and good luck. And it's like I do, after Lenny, like I had this year of yes, Epiphany, like I just feel like something about that does give you this kind of, you know, motivation for life and,

Starting point is 01:02:28 and there's something. So I really feel like it's important to spread the gospel, which is I know how much it's, how scary does have a baby. It's scary from a lot of different, in a lot of different ways. And I went through the list. I remember being like emotionally,

Starting point is 01:02:43 financially, like everyone has their list. And once I realized, it was all checked off like my anxiety was in check you know my my finances were fine enough to have a baby you know and then the only box unchecked was like career it's not there and I'm like what am I going to wait until I'm a millionaire and then be like no I'm like what so I think I that was the only box unchecked and I just had faith that like no you're just going to keep going you're just going to keep going did you die when Natalie said that about Whitney love it that she like how is she being a mom and she's going to go to Broadway.

Starting point is 01:03:17 Oh, that. I was like, I know. And I love, by the way, I had Kaylee Coco on my pod. I love her. Babe, she was, so by the way,

Starting point is 01:03:28 she, like, put aside every big, you know, like, you were asking me, like, dream, like,

Starting point is 01:03:34 that is the kind of person I just want to talk to. It's like I didn't know much of a personality before and she was everything and more, so relatable, so down to earth,

Starting point is 01:03:42 so fun. Like, I just want people like that on the pod. She's a huge star, but she was talking about, she was so open about leaving her baby for two months to film the show that she did. And she had no fear and no qualms in saying it. And I was like, did you feel bad about it?

Starting point is 01:04:00 She's like, nope. And I have to tell you, which is another thing I saw somewhere. And it's a true thing because we're talking about a lot of like general concepts of things. But if she would have said it and she said I'd feel so bad, the trolls would come. You know what I mean? She owned it. I didn't see one negative comment. Do you understand?

Starting point is 01:04:20 Interesting. Everyone was blowing me up about how the mom guilt conversation was so refreshing and so amazing and they love her so much. And I didn't see one negative comment. I'm like, that's surprising. Like you would think you would see at least one person be like, but you said that. I thought, oh, I bet people were awful. Babe, not one.

Starting point is 01:04:41 Wow, I love that. One. And I just feel like the way she spoke about it, she's like, I'm an amazing. mom. I did not want to bring her here for her to like not be in her comfort zone. She was better at home. I'm working. Like, yes, is it hard for me personally to, like, I can't even picture leaving for two months, you know? It's a long time. But I think that like you do what you have to do. And people don't stop their lives. You, you know, you keep, you keep working. You keep going after what you love. And that can only make your kids like prouder to be your kids. It can make you more happy, more fulfilled. You know, there's really nothing like, you know, being fulfilled with what you do and then coming home to your kids and being like, it's complete. Like I have all the things. You know, I have all the things. So I'm really a proponent of that, you know.

Starting point is 01:05:30 I love it because it's just whatever works for whoever. If that's what you believe and that's what's best for you and your family and you just own that truth and that's, like that I just think that's the most important thing in life and everything that we do, just owning your truth. and even if it's like self-deprecating or it's embarrassing or it's other people would shame you for it but if it's your truth then who gives a fuck yeah no i love that because i really i feel like i've seen things and i'm like when people own it before other people get to own you you know what i mean like you just own your shit you know and then everyone can suck a day you know what let's end it right there okay everyone and everyone else can suck a day um i love that I love you.

Starting point is 01:06:14 I love you. I love talking to you. I could have talked for another hour. I know. This is how we catch up. New York in April. I know. I forgot we were podcasting.

Starting point is 01:06:29 Hey guys. It's your friend Michelle Collins. And I'm here to invite you to listen to the Michelle Collins show. Yes, that's my show. Unfiltered, unscripted, unhinged, and covers pretty much everything you're going to want to care about. It's funny. It's fearless.

Starting point is 01:06:43 It could go off the rails at any moment and often does. So follow, rate, and review the Michelle Collins show where every. you get your podcasts and let's spiral together. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. You swear? If I'm mine, I'm dying. This is the mindset. Free.

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