Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Amanda Kloots: Dating Apps, Donuts, and Dancing with the Stars

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

Amanda Kloots has a resume longer than the thigh-highs from her confession, with gigs including co-host of The Talk, founder of Amanda Kloots Fitness, and author of a bestselling book, just to name a few  —  but there’s so much more to her than her many accomplishments. Today, she’s in person catching up with KB about everything from her experience on Dancing with the Stars to raising her son Elvis to an idea for the next hot dating app… trust us, you’re going to want to download this one. These two are getting deep, discussing whether or not they believe in soulmates (and if they’ve found theirs), how they prioritize their mental health, and what it’s like trying to date as a mom who just entered a new decade. Plus, she reveals her Dancing with the Stars crush, her contradictory dating patterns, and what she would tell younger Amanda.TALKSPACE - Go to Talkspace.com and make sure to use the code VINE to get $100 off of your first month. PROGRESSIVE - Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. HYUNDAI - Learn more at HyundaiUSA.com.   PRIMAL KITCHEN - Find Primal Kitchen in your local grocery store or visit Primalkitchen.com/offthevine to get 20% off your order! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. This week's Off the Vine is sponsored by Talkspace. Go to talkspace.com and make sure to use the code Vine to get $100 off your first month. And Progressive. Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. This week's pod is brought to you by Hyundai and the 2022 Tucson and Santa Fe plug-in hybrid EVs. Learn more about the widest range of electrified vehicles at Hyundai, USA.com.

This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Primal Kitchen. It's grilling season, and if you haven't discovered all of Primal Kitchen's amazing sauces, dressings, oils, and more, now is the time to check them out. Find Primal Kitchen in your local grocery store, or visit Primalcitchen.com slash Off the Vine to get 20% off your order. Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get ready to laugh, connect, and feel empowered with Caitlin and her guests as they sip wine, lots of wine, and get candid.

They say vulnerability creates connection. So save the highlight reel for Instagram because when we're among Vino's, there's no filter. It's time to unwind. Here's your host, Caitlin Bristow. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and I had the absolute pleasure of talking to the sweetest, most incredible human, who is an amazing mom, New York Times bestselling author, fitness instructor, co-host of the daytime talk show The Talk. We had such a great time catching up on her life. She tells me all about her dating life. And we reminisce about our time on dancing with the stars. I just can't get enough of this sweet woman, so I hope you feel the same way.

I know you'll enjoy my chat with the lovely Amanda Clute. I like, I know your voice, but when I hear it in my ear holes, I'm like, that's really nice. I agree. Same with yours. Really? Yeah. It's like a little tiny rasp, like just barely there, but like soothing at the same time. Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Well, thanks for being here in person on your first. person podcast first in person podcast the heck let's do it keelan cheers my wine your coffee your little coffee creamer what does this say about us well it says that you must have something on the go after this podcast that you have to be sober for that's right i do tell me everything what are you doing after this yeah oh i we're just getting into it you know what i have so many other things written here that i'm like we'll just get this one out of the way kately i have a dating app date after this first date for this person. Okay. He seems cool, actually. He is British, which is fun. And seems funny. Okay. I like funny. Funny is where it's at. I think. Yeah. Um, I don't know.

We'll see. Yeah. We'll see. I'm very dressed up because I came from work. So are you going somewhere fancy? We're just going to go to the one of hotels around here. But, you know, you know, sometimes like I try, I wouldn't normally try to be this overdressed for like a first meeting. Yeah, but you look like that dress can be either dressed up or it can be casual too. And you have lower heels. So it looks casual, cute. It looks very dinner date attire. Okay. Okay. I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard. But here I am. Plus, you can be like, I just came from my job and I'm on television. I always have to look this beautiful. Can you imagine if I said that? He'd be like, check please. Yeah, no. You could be like,

do not get my humor? Well, then this is already over. Yeah, we're done. Yeah. See, that's, you got to go in hot to date. It is so fun to walk into a date and just like, yes. And just being you and like, if you're overdressed or if you're not dressed up enough or if you say something inappropriate, it'd be like, shit, that's me. Yeah. I agree. I agree. I'm too old. I'm too tired. I have no time. And so here I am. I mean, you're not too old, but. Well, you know how it is. No, 40. I can't wait. I was watching the Kardashians as one does. And I went to church, aka I was watching the Kardashians. And they told me that sex gets better in your 40s, relationships get better, you get better.

In my 20s, I was like, oh, I'm kind of dreading 30. Then I was like, I'm kind of eh, about my later 30s. But now I'm like, well, the closer I get to 40, actually, the more excited I am to turn 40 because I just keep hearing great things about it. No, you know what? I just, I made that joke, but I'm going to tell you something in all seriousness. I actually love saying that I'm 40. I love being 40. I have never felt more.

on top of my game of life than I do at the moment. I love who I am. I love that I'm going into this dating world as like, I don't need to be married. I've been married twice. I don't need a kid. I have one. I don't need your house.

I own one. I don't need your car. I have one. I don't need a job. I'm emotionally, financially rely on you. I am me and you would be an added bonus in my life. I truly am looking for somebody to share life and experience as with and love and happiness and joy and I don't need anything else from you. And to be able to

say that, I couldn't say that when I first got married. I couldn't say that on my second marriage. I can fully say that now. And I love it. There's like a, there's a really nice comfort in that because I'm going into it as in that way. You know what I mean? Like I'm really just looking for like an awesome life partner. How exciting. Well, we'll see. You're all positive and hopeful that I was going to tell. Well, we'll see. Well, I know we were just saying how you want to go into it and just like, if you say something wrong, you're doing it, and you're just like, I don't care. Now, this is where I get to pitch you my idea for a dating app that you and I are going to turn into a TV show.

Done. It's called baggage.com. Okay. And basically, you go in, no, the app is, or the first episode. You sell me your app and I'll turn it into a TV show. Ready, go. Yes. Okay.

So the app is you have to take a picture of yourself when you first wake up in the morning. Okay. No makeup, nothing, no filters. It just has to be you when you wake up in the morning. Okay. And your bio is just everything you've been through, everything that you would like wait till the like sixth or seventh date to talk about. You'd talk about like your morning breath. You would just like lay it all out there.

Okay. Don't put your best foot forward. Put just your raw self out there. Okay. First of all I love that. I love that the worst things in life is your morning breath that would be like if I gave you my resume of trauma in my life the morning breath would be like such a wonderful part of life it would be like you said baggage and all the horrible things you've been through and then you were like like your morning breath okay baggage might not be the right term for it baggage dot com just seemed right I was talking I was talking about Talking to, you know who Lewis Hamilton is?

He's an F1 race car driver. And I happened to be at dinner with his parents. And we were talking about this idea. And we were like, yeah, you just put your worst self out. And then somehow baggage. But let's come up with a different name for it. Like, no, I love baggage. I think baggage is great.

The bar is in hell.com. This bar is low. Yeah. No, I like baggage. Okay. Dot com. Baggage. How can we make it a TV show?

How's your job? Yeah, I know. I'm working on this. You're living in a house. I didn't really pitch you with the greatest app. I had like three sentences. I'm like, and go. Well, maybe it's like, you know, when you first meet, it is like your first, like, you're out of bed in the morning.

It is not in your glam gown outside of a mansion holding, you know, a rose. It's like you're in your mismatched pajamas and your hair looks crazy because you haven't washed it in 10 days and it's full of dry shampoo. And you forgot to brush your teeth. And you aren't allowed to have coffee. You're not allowed to have coffee. You're just stripped down to your worst self. So that the bar is in hell. Yeah, the bar is low.

Yeah. And then your confessions are just all about your baggage. Yeah. But you talk about it in a way where it's empowered you because it's who you are. Oh, of course it has. Yeah. All baggage has empowered you to be who you are. In fact, I wouldn't change any of my baggage because it has completely transformed me into the person I am today.

Which is so incredible that you can look at it like that because a lot of people can go two ways with that. Yeah. Like when I was struggling with a like missed flight or something during all this flight shit that's going on, I had to just continue to sit there and be like, this is actually a small problem. I'm about to board my first class flight and then have a glass of wine and eat a meal on my way to Canada. Like eventually I will get there. Right. This is actually a small problem.

Yeah. And so it is perspective. But I think you are just such a light. Have you always been like that in your life, like just a positive light? Like, have people always thought that about you? Well, thanks. I don't know. I guess so.

I don't think that I've, I don't think that part of me has changed. A lot of has changed, but I don't think that's changed. But also, you get a grace pass at the airport. The airport is a completely different structure. And the things that go down and are said and what you wear and what happens at the airport is, is not a part of real life. You're right. Just so you know. Because you can like get drunk at 6 a.m.

And where, like, what I'm wearing right now is what I were to, to my flight. But it's considered, like, airport chic. But it's really just, like, grungy as hell. Yeah. And also, I feel like no one really wants to show their, like, no one wants to be shown them, their true light at the airport. Like, you're just not your, you're not, or maybe it is your truest self. Maybe your airport self is who you actually are. Oh, I hope not.

Oh, because. that's our TV show. It takes place in an airport. It's a reality dating show in the airport. Called baggage.com. It all makes sense. Baggage.com in the airport. You have to pay extra for the bags under your eyes. And your extra baggage. Yeah. Depending on how much baggage you have your life, you get charged $45. Now we're on to something. This is actually a genius. Okay. You have to sleep at the hotel. And if you win a challenge, you get upgraded to first class. Yes. And we turn it into a travel dating show. Oh my God. We're getting, I mean, this is, no one steal this idea.

You know what? Usually it takes years for people to develop such a genius idea. But here we are. We just get narrow line to sponsor us and we're done. 10 minutes in and we've got a, we've got a show, folks. Gosh, that's amazing. Oh, my God. Okay, by nos, when they say mental health is a journey, they really mean it. I've been on this journey for quite a while. It definitely has ups and downs, beaks and valleys, but well worth putting you first. And That's why it's important to prioritize your mental health and wellness every day. And when you work on yourself, it truly brings positive changes in all areas of your life.

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We all know how expensive that can get. So you can send unlimited messages to your therapist on your own schedule and start or continue your mental health journey on your own terms. And as a listener of Off the Vine, you'll get $100 off your first month with TalkSpace. So to match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com. Make sure to use code Vine to get your $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's Vine at Talkspace.com. I want to know because you were a little bit like, oh, we'll see how it goes.

Have you had bad dating experiences? In life or since I got back on the dating field. Since you got back on the, yeah. No, actually. No. In fact, every date I've been on, which is not a lot, but every date I've been on, they've been wonderful, really nice, kind, interesting people. That's amazing.

And you know what? I've gotten to the point where I really enjoy just kind of sitting down with somebody and meeting them and like kind of getting to know somebody that I wouldn't normally ever meet. And I'm unfortunately a type of person that will know in like 10 minutes if I have chemistry with you if I want to see you again in that way. Yeah. So sometimes that's hard.

But then if that isn't there, then I'm just kind of like, okay, well, then I'll just ask you any questions I want to because I don't really care. And it's interesting to get to know somebody else. Because you can always take away something from a conversation. Yeah. Do you, when you feel within the first 10 minutes, if there's not chemistry, can that person tell? Or like, do you completely shift? Or are you like, you know what?

I'm just going to keep asking the questions and take for what it is. I don't know. I guess that'd be a good question. my dates. Well, send the guy tonight to my podcast tomorrow. Send him on by tomorrow. I'll ask all the details. I don't think so. I think I act my way through it, I guess. But, well, because it's not like you're having a miserable time. You're still asking and taking stuff away from it. You know what I can't do, though? And a lot of people can do this. And I just can't do it. I wish I could. But if I know within those 10 minutes that, you know, I'm not interested. And then I'm

going to tell you why it makes no sense what I'm just saying. But anyways, I can't wait. Yeah. I can't like go out again with them. Like a lot of my girlfriends would be like, you know, I don't know. I don't really like him. But like he asked me to dinner. It's a free dinner and I have nothing else to do. And I literally would be like, I would rather sit at home and, you know, do something else or have dinner with a friend. Like, I can't do that. I wish I could, but I can't. And then here's my rebuttal to what I don't say. I, both of my husbands, I did not like at first in that way. They were just friends and I didn't even think they were cute.

And then over time, their talent and getting to know them and their personality completely won me over. In fact, my other long-term boyfriend before my first husband, same. I was like, first day of work, I was like, ugh. And then like, five months in, I was like, who is he? I know. I don't make any sense. I know. So I wonder if, do you believe in soulmates? Oh, God. This is like, I just, I, I want to. I know.

The Piscian dreamer romantic Amanda is like, oh, my God, of course I do. I think, I think I do. But I don't know if we ever, I don't know if we get to meet them. I don't know. Right. Or I think we maybe have like a handful of them, maybe like three to five. Yeah. people that maybe are your soulmate but I do and and I wonder if you've ever come across a couple where you're just like they're soulmates like they are perfect for each other yes and so in that

respect I do yeah you're right I have looked at many couples and thought they're soulmates yeah and people feel that they have soulmates I go back and forth even though I'm engaged and like but I'm like do people I don't know do you think Jason's your soulmate I think yes I think he's one of them I do think like you said, there might be three or four or five soulmates in your life. I do think that's a possibility. So do you think timing affects soulmates? Yeah. That could be.

Yeah. Which is a steep. But then I want to say that if it's meant to be, it'll be. Like eventually it'll find that the soulmate will find you again. I'm the same way as you. Like I want to believe that there is. And I, but I do think there's probably a few. And I think people can have a few in their life.

But like here's what I'm. I'm going to say, I feel, okay, if I had a define soulmate, right? Yes. It would be, I guess, like, quoting Jerry Maguire, like, you complete me, I guess, okay? That would maybe be, like, the easiest way to define it in simplest terms. But then people say, I am complete as a woman, myself, I am complete. Okay. I think it's when two souls were, like, put on this planet to be together.

Like, you were born to be together. Ah. I don't know. know what's crazy and let me tell you something and I'm not putting down either of my husbands but my first husband definitely not my soulmate and even now I look at Nick and this is going to sound awful I don't think he was my soulmate I don't know if I've met my soulmate and if we'll never meet him I don't know but it doesn't take my love away from either of those human beings I'm just saying like if my sentence that defines soulmates is you complete me I don't

think either of them were, which is a very interesting topic. I know. And people are probably like, oh. No, I think that is, I love honesty more than anything in the world. And if that's, I think that's a very honest thing to say. And I think that's okay. Because like you said, it doesn't take away from the love that you had for that at all. No. Oh, my God. I love. I mean, Nick goes down as one of the loves of my life. Of course. I mean, one of the most amazing. Hopefully I have another love of my life. But yeah. Yeah. But it's interesting that you said your first dates with your past husbands and your long-term boyfriend that at first yeah see this is the danger of online dating you don't know if like well and the the problem is is all three of those guys

I worked with yeah so I walked into day one of work just being like do do do and then over time they you know I was like uh-oh why am I attracted to that person now and then like oh no I like them so it wasn't even dates yeah nick always said we should not be together we are so opposite you should not like me you should not be with me i am not right for you and of course what does that make a woman do like right now i have to have you run closer and like no i'm perfect for you no please look at me yes so you know that's what also is so frustrating about online dating and going on a date with somebody and then also being a single mother with like five jobs and trying to find time to also date and then trying to give like a man that second third fourth chance

and he's also by the way I'm not like trying he's also giving me that second third fourth or you know fifth chance so it's just so hard I yeah of course you have so much going on and you're a mom and you're trying to date that's hard it's really hard on one hand you're like well I would like to just give it another shot, but on the other, like, if I know in those 10 minutes, why am I doing it again? Right. Well, that's tricky. I know. And it's really, it's really tough because even trying to find time to get a coffee for a half hour is like, okay, okay, yes, I can fit that in. Well, and to put yourself in the right mental space to go and be, you know, that your dating self is a lot too. Yeah. Dating, working, being a mom, a little birdie, slash,

Instagram told me that it was Elvis's birthday the other day. He is just the stinking, cutest little cute. I've got a little picture of him and his donut cake right here. Thanks. So my producer Alicia on this call right here, she's going like this right now. She's on my computer. She thought donuts were just for breakfast. Oh.

No, right? Yes, they are. They are only for breakfast. I agree with you, Alicia. Stop it. Okay, so maybe this is a Canadian thing that we. you're talking about because she's not Canadian and I am donuts are a treat like dessert they are like a treat a cake so when you had the donut cake for Elvis I was like see and she was like

maybe I'm wrong no the story behind the donut cake is that I went to Whole Foods day of birthday party thinking that I could just walk in and get a cake oh this is the type of mother that I am I wait for the last minute I do not plan months ahead um I also tried to book a bounce house, you know, the day before. And they all laughed at me every 30 bounce house rental company I called. Oh, no. I have now learned my lesson for next year. There you go. Luckily, he's three.

Yeah. So, anyways. So I walk into Whole Foods. There's no cakes to be found. And I see a box of donuts. Elvis loves donuts. And so I thought, you know what? Donut Tower. No kid eats the cake anyways. No adult is going to want the cake anyways.

So we did the donut cake. And they were vegan donuts because it was a whole. boots. So the kids that didn't even really like them. I didn't tell anybody, but you can see everybody taking a bite and being like, these aren't the sugary donuts that I'm used to. I'm so funny, but they looked great, didn't they? They looked. They looked. They looked like the Simpsons donut, which is, in my opinion, the goal of donuts. Same with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Pizza. I was literally just going to say that that reminds me of Ninja Turtle pizza. It's like my dream to have that pizza to be an animated.

mutant Ninja Turtle and eat that cheesy pizza. Oh my God, I love you. Yeah. That's exactly where my brain went. When you said Simpson's donut, I went, I can't wait to say Ninja Turtle Pizza. And there's no other food I'm thinking of right now in that on any other show. It's nothing. Yep. Simpson donut. Yep. Ninja Turtle pizza. And you say like that's the kind of mom. You're an amazing mom. Oh, thank you. No, I love being a mom. I'm not saying I'm not a bad mom. I am not a party planner. I am the worst party planner. hostess in the entire world. Really? Yes. If you come over to my house for dinner, it's catered or ordered in from, you know, postmates. And I will tell you, like, there's the wine. There's the, like, I'm horrible where, like, you know, my sister has like a platter and napkins. In France.

Yes. And there's music playing. And it's, yeah, it's. Hey, everybody has a skill set. Thank you. Everybody has something that they're good at. Planning is not my. Yes.

Would it strong suit either? But I do love hosting people. But how was friends, by the way? Is sister a wonderful? It was, yeah. She lives there. Yeah, I'll tell you what. She moved there two years ago after getting divorced.

And she's always taken French. So she's fluent in French. And she loves Paris. She did a semester abroad over there. And she got divorced and was like, I'm moving to Paris. Didn't know a soul. Amazing. So two years later, I go to visit her.

I'm the first of our family members to visit her because of COVID and everything that happened within our family. Like nobody could come. I call him with Elvis. I have never been more proud of my sister. She has a beautiful life, a gorgeous apartment, a handsome young boyfriend. Oh, God. She knows everybody there.

She was taking me to the best places. She is the cutest person in the entire world. She is thriving there. She is thriving. She is Anna and Paris, not Emily in Paris. Anna and Paris. Oh, I love that. Oh, good for her.

I love when people do that, like, go through something or they're like, I'm going to do what I've always wanted to do. And then you do it. And then you realize you're like, this is where I'm meant to be. Yeah. Oh, it is seeing like a perfect person. person in their environment is Anna in Paris. It's like everything is right in the world.

Yeah. Wow. That's really cool. And how was traveling with at the time a two-year-old? Are the terrible twos a real thing or people to say that? Elves did not have terrible twos. And here's a, I will see, I say this because I think one of the pluses of being a single parent, and I obviously don't know what it's like to not be a single parent.

But he is a very chill, calm kid because I would say 90%. of his time of life is just him and I or a nanny and him or, you know, and he's just very easy going. And he plays with himself and he can do his own thing. He's very independent, but he also loves his mama, but he listens to me. We have a really nice understanding. I've never yelled at him. It's just like we get along very, very well. And he did not go through a terrible two at all. No, he's just the cool. Honestly, and I'm not just like patting my kid on the back, but like everyone that meets him is like, why is he the coolest kid? And I know, he kind of is. Because you're a cool mom. And I let you just play good music, but you have good taste of music, by the way.

Thank you. Thank you, Caitlin. Yeah, you do. And you just like play music. I feel like you're real with him. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. I don't know how else to explain that, but you feel like you have a, you treat him like a real little human being. Yeah. Which is nice. I do. You know, and And I think that's just because, again, it's just the two of us in the house. So I need somebody to talk to and I need somebody to hang out with because I get lonely. And so I speak to him like he's an adult in a way. But I think that's sweet. I think kids, certain kids, which I think Elvis is, I obviously don't know your child as well as you do.

But I think some kids need that and like that. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like some kids need to be coddled. Some kids need to be talked to like a little baby because I'll probably talk to. mine like that. But I feel like you two do just have like a really good little relationship going on. Yeah. I don't use

fake words. I don't use a baby voice. Yeah. It's just kind of all about like love and respect. And when he does act out, I say look at me in the eyes. Look at me. And I try to calm him down and it works like a charm. I don't know. He's cool.

I like my kid. That's nice to hear. Yeah. I need to meet him. Yeah. I can't believe I have it. You do. Do you have any advice for soon-to-be parents? I know you have to take yourself back a few years, but like TMI, but maybe, but I had no idea that he had to our ice pack undies after birth.

Oh, gosh, I didn't do that, but I had a C-section. So that is, I would say if you plan on breastfeeding, learn as much as you can about what that is in that process, a lactation consultant before you have your baby, and then one that is with you for the first, like, a couple weeks. It is my number one tip and also I think moms, new moms, are like, why didn't anyone tell me how hard breastfeeding is? Like, every single mother. Yeah.

And no one tells you. And yet it's how you feed your child. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. You spend all these other, you do all these other classes. Right. And then if you are planning on breastfeeding, which a lot of moms at least plan on it.

Yeah. And then whatever happens happens. no one teaches you about it. They're just like, okay, here's your boob, here's the mouth, and just like, latch on. And you're like, and it's terrifying. And I ended up breastfeeding Elvis for two years. So, like, yeah, I mean, that's my number one tip.

Especially with the shortage of formula in the world, like, that should be a priority, too, to people. Which I now heard that tampons are going to be a shortage of tampons is coming. Whoa. I know. And then what do people do when there's a shortage? They stock up. and then it makes it even worse. Yeah, I don't know what's happening, but I know.

Okay, let's turn the beat around here. I don't like that. All right, all right. This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Primal Kitchen. It is a little embarrassing to admit that I was kind of excited to get home from Canada, not only to see my babies and Jason, but also get back to my fully stocked pantry. Is that weird? I don't know.

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the over 27 million drivers who trust progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, comparison rates not available in all states or situations, prices vary based on how you buy. You know, you've always got something going on. What do you do to prioritize your mental health? I work out. Yeah. That's my number one. it's such good therapy it really is it's like the only thing that here's it kills two birds with one stone for me first of all i love you know fitness yeah and and and you know staying in shape being strong but i it is immediate like mental health clarity for me so you know the minute i move my body turn music on lately i love going to take a class because i've taught so much in my

life that when I go to take a class, you appreciate it too. Yeah, I appreciate it. And it's like, I zone out. And you just tell, I love being told what to do in a fitness class recently. And hearing loud music and just, and I'll do whatever anybody tells me to do, even though I hate certain things, I'll still do them. Like, if you tell me to do 20 burpees, I will. Yeah. On my own, I would never do a burpees. I'm the same way. I need to be told what to do in a, in a workout class. Yeah, moving your body. I wonder, maybe you have the answer to this. Maybe you don't. But why is it so hard? to just, if you know it's going to make you feel better, if you know it gives you mental clarity, if you know after you move your body, why is it so hard to get there?

Yeah, that's a good question because so many people struggle with the motivation to do it. Knowing, like, in your brain, you're like, I know this will make me feel better. Why is it so hard to start doing it if it's going to make me feel better? I think a couple of things. First of all, I know a lot of people that are intimidated about fitness. So they'll say, I need to get in shape in order to go to that class, which is like, I think one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Like, how are you going to do that?

That's an excuse. And it's just going to keep you sitting on the couch, first of all. Just get to the class, stand in the back until you feel comfortable and work your way up. You know what I mean? Do a couple online ones first, so you know what they're talking about and then go. Yes, just something. Second of all, I think like getting into the outfit. Like, some people think, like, you know, you can't, sometimes you just can't work out in, like, I couldn't work out in this dress.

I'd have to take my clothes off and put workout clothes off. And you want to feel good in the workout clothes. and a lot of times we don't feel good in the workout clothes. And so that's discouraging. And then, you know, I don't like to work out with like full hair and makeup. So it's like I wouldn't want to work out right now. Right. So then you're like, so you don't want to.

So you know, I'll do it in the morning. But then the morning comes and you have other things. And you think sleep will probably be more beneficial than working out, which sometimes that is too. But yeah, yeah, it is. It's just a hard thing to get the motivation to do for a lot of people. And I'm sure there's a lot of different reasons. But that all makes sense what you just said. I think it's just that, yeah, that you really have to.

mentally and physically get yourself there in order to do it. It's not just something that you can just go do. I always get jealous of your ability to just go jump rope. Like, how do you not just get bored after 30 seconds? I jump rope and I'm like, now what? It's been like 30 seconds and I'm like out of breath and like bored. But what about running or running on a treadmill or a spin bike or like any of those classes? I like spin classes.

But that's the same thing. You're in the stationary. but I mean I guess a class is different but if you were at home on a spin bike you're just on a bike like a hamster on a wheel yeah but when I'm jumping rope like I have to stop after like a minute because I'm so out of breath well that's good though oh okay I mean that's good that means that you got to like work on it to get better do know what I mean like that means that it's challenging you physically and so that's good do you have online classes that you do for jump rope um well yeah I mean I have an app I have my app it's on there right there's jump rope classes on it. Tell me your app. Amanda Clutes Fitness. Yay. And there's like for all levels, I'm assuming. Yeah.

All sorts of workouts from five minutes to 55 minutes, jump rope, dance, toning. I call it a two minute workout, which is basically like sets of moves for two minutes each and then you move on. So that's a really great workout. It's a big job creating a workout app. Yeah, it is. It was. And now it's lovely because. Probably have a little community.

Yeah. And it's really fun. And I teach a Zoom class on Saturday morning. So I always, you know, do that. And it's lovely because it kind of now runs itself, which after years of like blood, sweat and tears and 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. grinding of teaching clients all over New York City. Like it's beautiful when you see something really pay off after really hard work. Yeah, no kidding. Good for you. Oh, I'm proud of you for that. That's something like to look back on and be like, yeah, it should run itself. I worked my ass off for that. Yeah. But you know what? I will, I started my business.

because of mental health. I didn't realize that I did at the time, but I was going through my first divorce and fitness saved me. And then it saved me again when Nick was dying. And really and truly, like, fitness for me, my app, it is all about just putting yourself in a good space, in a good mood. Like moving your body fitness for me, it should be happy. It shouldn't be something you dread. It should be something you want to do. You look forward to do. You check. your schedule to do when I was teaching in New York the best compliment anyone would give me has come up to me after class and go I change my Tuesday's schedule so that I can be here because it I leave here and it and it makes me happy for the rest of the day and that is a nice

I could care less if your gene size moves right it will yeah it did yeah but the mental health part about it is so much more rewarding that might be another reason and I've talked about this recently with working out because my mindset shifted when I started working out for my mental health and to stop making it about my body. And I think the body and feeling strong will naturally just come. But if people don't look at it to like, oh, I have to get up off the couch and put on it. And I don't feel if they think of it more as like for their mental health instead of like, oh, I'm supposed to do this to lose weight. Right. You know? Yeah. No, that's why I always say working on is a privilege. It's not a chore. Yeah. That's so true. Motto for my

It's so true. And as, I mean, you were a freaking rock at, as a dancer, did you ever picture yourself going on dancing with the stars? Was that something? Because I always imagined myself going on dancing with the stars. Did you? Were you like, I could see that? I mean, yes.

But then you're also like, they're never going to hire, like, they're never going to have the non-celebrity, you know, season. So yes, I watched a lot of those seasons and thought, gosh, I could do this or how fun would it be to learn all these dances and, like, really just be thrown into this. environment and I it would be so fun to see like how far I would go and what I would do but then you're you know you're Amanda in Ohio or Amanda in New York and you're not a celebrity so you would never get chosen I forgot you weren't always a celebrity no I forgot I just assumed you've always been like on TV and like doing this life but no I mean I did Broadway for 19 years and I

did film and TV and lots of stuff but I mean I wasn't I wasn't what you would call celebrity It was just a part of a reality star. Yeah, but that turned you into celebrity. I guess a little bit. I just that word sounds so funny. No, it does. I mean, I know I'm using it as like, but that's what they call us on the show. I honestly think the celebrities of that show are the dancers, not us.

That's how I think of them. The celebrities are Alan and Artem and Whitney and that's who the fans care about. They end up liking us. Yeah. Because we're partnered with Alan and they're Alan's fans. Yes. And they have very loyal fans. Oh, extremely loyal.

And they like you because you are partnered with that person. And they want you to make them happy and successful and take them as far as you can. Did you get any like, oh, she was a dancer. This is unfair. Oh, of course. You did. Oh, my God. So did I.

But you had so many dancers on your season. Like Cody Rigsby was a dancer before he was a spin instructor. Yeah. Melora did Broadway. Jojo. Mel C. Yeah. Melcy, yes, myself, yeah, there were like six of us that had danced before.

Yeah. But, of course, they really only highlighted Jojo and I as, you know, the dancers and how unfair it was. Yeah. You know, you know, you know how different that world is and how I had to literally untrain everything that I knew. Broadway dancing, rocket dancing is nothing like partnering. with somebody and ballroom dancing. And just because you're coordinated does not mean you're going to be a good ballroom dancer. I found it so challenging.

Like, the hardest dancing I've ever done was ballroom by far. Yeah. Did you fully enjoy every moment of it, the pain, the tears, the ups, the downs? Or were you like, I would never do that again? I would do it again. And you and Alan had such a good partnership. Yeah, we did. We really, really did.

I love dancing with him. We were, he was, he was such a great partner for me, especially at that time in my life. You know, especially like looking back on it now, boy, did I need him. I needed somebody in my life to make me laugh every single day to be able to hug and joke around with and dance and yell at me and be tough on me. And I needed somebody to hate for a little bit too. Yeah. Because you eventually hate your partner at some points throughout every day.

but then you know love again and yeah it's a real relationship oh 100% yeah yeah and yeah was there ever a time where you were like I have a little crush on him oh of course really oh yeah oh god I love hearing that because I always was kind of like in the back of my mind I was like kind of like them they're kind of cute together but then I also saw you guys as very like like a partnership oh yeah yeah yeah I mean all of it I mean I think that's yeah that's also normal a lot of people feel that way about their partners I mean I think throughout you know and then he would make me hate him. And I'd be like, I hate him. Yeah. Yeah. And then I said, I love him. Yeah. And then it was like, do I love you? Yeah. And kidding. You know what I mean? But you probably

do love him on like a certain level like of friendship wise now. Oh my God. Yes. Like I, I, we were texting earlier. I like I miss you. When are we dancing? When am I seeing you? Like we just have a great report. I love the guy. I mean, like he really did come into my life at a time when I really, really needed it. And, you know, I think every, every dance we did was so special, but we had so many special moments and, like, breakthrough things. And I'd like to say, I think I helped him, too, as much as he helped me. And I could see it. Yeah, we just got along really, really well.

But you went through all, like, the ups and downs of, I find that Dancing with Stars partners go through more ups and downs in, like, a two-month period of time than relationships can in, like, two years. Yeah. Well, because you're seeing that person every single day. I mean, from the second I met Alan, I think there was only one day till November 23rd that I didn't see him. Mm-hmm. Like, that's absurd.

And not just like an hour, like hours and hours of the day. Yeah. Yeah. And because you're dancing, I mean, you're like, it's, you're going for goals with somebody. You're learning. You're crying. You're frustrated. You're happy.

You're laughing. Yeah. So, yeah, it's, it is crazy. I mean, but I think that's why that show is so special. and so rewarding, and then a lot of people walk away with it. A lot of the contestants walk away with it as like, I would do it again in a heartbeat because it does sort of really change you because you really are like, and I think COVID too, like you are, I mean, like you are just with your partner all the time.

So yeah, no, but it was, it was so great. Yeah. I would do it again for free. Call me. I now feel that way after I came off to show. I was like, never again. And now I'm like, absolutely. I'm the same way.

I'm like, I would do it for free now. I don't ever get you, D& me. You were like, when you're crying in your bathroom on the floor having a breakdown, call me. And I was like, it was like day one of rehearsal where I was like, I'm here. I was so excited. I was like, I'm here. I'm here. I'm like, I'm like, go so dark.

You were like, when you're sad on the bathroom floor and your feet can stand another blister and you're having a breakdown. Thanks, Caitlin. Thanks, Caitlin. Like, is that really going to happen? to me and then it probably did yeah it did I was thinking about um do you know the same people come into your life for a season reason or a lifetime oh I don't know I love that though oh okay so that's what I was thinking about when we were talking about soulmates and why people come in and

out or like even your um partnership with Alan like I think he came into your life yeah for a reason yeah and maybe a lifetime because he's probably going to be your friend forever but with with Artem I'm like definitely just a season just one season to dance with SARS and probably I never again because I swear. I mean, I watched the Bella show when I, I think we were like close to the end or maybe it was after the season. I can't remember. Yeah. But I was like, shit, I did not know they were going through that kind of like really tough times.

And because it was aired on the Bella Twins show. I didn't watch that season. So I watched because I was like, oh, they're talking about to answer the stars. And I was like, oh, shit. Like I felt I didn't know. And so I didn't, I couldn't take it personally. because I was like, that's not about me. It's, they're having some, you know,

it's, well, and gosh, you have a new baby. Yeah. And your partner's gone and dancing with another woman every day. Yeah. And it was just, it was never, I always wanted to be like, Arden, let's go for coffee and let's go shopping and let's go for a drink. And I was like, hug. Nope.

Okay, no, I did that to Allen too. I was like, oh, no, you're my best friend now. Yeah. Let's go to the Hollywood ball. What do you want to, you want to go? to dinner, you know, and they take it so seriously, like, you realize it is a competition, but, like, especially Alan, like, he takes it so seriously that, and he's so superstitious that it was really hard to get him out of, like, when he's doing Dancing with the Stars, it is full on

dancing with the Stars and he does not allow himself to have any fun other than working on dances and material and, and, and, but I love that too. I love that about him too, but that's why he always does well and has the, I'm reaching in my pocket right now and I just keep being like, what is it? I have just a dirty sock. It might not be dirty. Maybe it's clean and it was in the dryer. Oh, that is what it is.

There you go. I did wash this sweater and that's what it must be. A sock got caught in there because it does smell quite nice. Oh my God. I just was like fiddling in my pocket and I was like, that's a sock. And how is the tour for you? Because we both did the tour hosting. You were on the tail end of the tour.

Did you love that? Did you love sleeping on a tour bus? Or were you like, that's something I'll never do it again. Oh, my God. Or you'd have to pay me to do it. You would have to pay me to do the tour bus again. Yeah. I'm so glad I did that tour.

It was so fun, but I'm also so glad it was only 10 days. I don't know how you did what you did and be away from Jason. It was really hard. I don't know how you did that. I've done three national tours, Broadway national tours. So I think I've also had my fill of being in weird cities and living out of a suitcase. Yeah, you like I've done this. Yes.

And I was very much looking forward to it again. but it was like it was just a shock the tour i could not sleep on that bus and felt like you're trying to sleep on a roller coaster um i don't do well when i don't sleep it just was yeah it was it was it's tricky and you know like i i'm a bit of a snob when i travel like if you take me out of my home environment i only want upgraded yes from that environment that is i'm i'm admitting it i'm a travel snob i'm too i always call myself travel snob oh my god i'm not a snob in a lot of places in my life but traveling i really am me either and i own Yes, yes. I don't care about fancy really anything other than when I travel. If you're taking me out of my gorgeous home and my beautiful bed that's so comfortable, I just want to get better. Yes. And the back of a tour bus ain't it? It was not. But it was very fun. And I'm glad I got to close it out. And it was a nice way to kind of have closure on the whole thing, you know, because I was lucky enough to get to the finals. Yes. And which, you know, which, you know,

You know, you feel like you've won. You know what I mean? When you're in the finals, that's, yeah. You get to do every dance you were set to do. That was my biggest fear that, like, I would get, you know, cut out early and know that people were still there rehearsing every day would have broken my heart. So I was always just like, I just want to get to that finale, do all the dances, which was awesome.

And but then now, then knowing that the tour was out and that, like, I feel so close to all those dancers now. I feel like they're like my. Totally. And family that I was like, even just seeing you on it, I was like, I hate that. not there like I should be there I'm a part of like we felt like you should be there too we were like why did Amanda do this with me I know we would have had a blast oh my gosh I would have shared that bumpy bed with you we probably would have slept better um but yeah like seat I wanted like a seatbelt

like hold me down on that bus I was bouncing around back there was terrible I could barely sleep I had to get CBD like really high intensity CBD THHC yeah yeah and I don't ever really do THC because it just puts me to sleep yeah But I did it for to be put to sleep. I had to do that too. I had to do that too. I was bad. We're doing a little word association game.

Oh, okay. We'll name association game. What word, just one word comes to mind when I say the following names. Okay. Oh, God. Love you, Alan. He will like that. Love you, Alan.

Gleb. Sexy. Yeah, I know. There's really no other word. I mean, God, he's so damn sexy. It's actually a little bit frustrating. Why is he so sexy? And so sweet.

And yeah, this is what, let's just give a shout out to Gleb because you think he's going to be an asshole because he's so sexy. And then I remember the first conversation I had with him was about how his girlfriend lost her husband and she's a single mom. And I was like, we like connected on that. And I walked away. I'm like, wait, why is I'm like the sweetest person in the entire world?

He cares. He cares. And he, like, remembers that he's such a sweetheart. So, and then you add on that he's like super sex model man. Damn. It's ridiculous. Yeah. It's good.

It's funny because he's so attractive and so sweet. And I love him, yet I'm not attracted to him. Yes. Isn't that bizarre? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. But I do think if I was partnered with him, I probably would have had a massive crush on him. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Britt. Oh, Brit. Oh, just like positivity, smile. Yeah. She's so sweet. Emma. Oh, Emma.

Oh, my God, giving. I love her. She is. I find her hilarious. Hilarious and just like I, or like, um, but Brit too, like hug. Like, I just feel like I see Emma and she'll, like, just give you a hug. Now, on top of being an amazing mom, crushing and dancing with the stars, co-hosting on the daily talk show, The Talk, fitness trainer, New York Times, best. an author. Like, what?

Oh, you're sweet. What, like, actually, this is one of my favorite questions. I'm going to kind of end it with this. If you could reverse time and go into 2008, what would you tell young Amanda? 2008, how old would you? Oh, my God. 2008, I would have just, I would have been in my first year of my first marriage. You know, I don't think I would have told her anything. Because I really, truly do think that the things that happen to you in your life are ways to learn about who you are and ways to grow and they cause you to own up and look into yourself and pull up and become the person that you're supposed to be. Maybe you just tell her to keep going and give her a little hug.

I think just I would say, babe, what you thought life was going to be for yourself is not at all. Like I have not had an easy life. And I thought, you know, when I got married. to my first husband, I thought that was it and that we were going to be old and gray sitting on rocking chairs looking at our grandchildren still together, you know? So that couldn't be farther from the truth. And I'm glad it isn't. I'm glad that isn't my life. But that's what I thought, you know, so I would just say, hold on tight. It's going to be okay. But it's not at all what you

thought or expected it's going to be. I like that. Hold on tight. I like that. That's, yeah, it's, I always like for people to hear, because you never know what people that are listening are going through and I always want to give people hope that like you can go through and you have gone through so much in your life and you turn 40 and feel the best you've ever felt and people go through phases where they think it's not going to get better or it's going to get worse or and maybe it might but like you're always going to turn a corner eventually and see why these things happened yeah or what they brought what life lessons they brought for you right when you're at the bottom you can only go up yeah it's hard to think about going up when you're

bottom, but once you're back on top, you're like, ah, yeah, I needed rock bottom for that. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You had to get there. Did you think of any confession for me? The embarrassing on stage moment, I guess. I was on tour with Spam a lot, and I at one point played this character called The Underwear Girl.

And I had to walk across stage in a very sexy. They called a tip, and you have to tip across stage. and I was in like this all white like I had high thigh highs and like a you know boostia and like this long beautiful blonde sexy wig and my only job is to tip across the stage as the lead character singing this song about sexy girls and underwear and I forget what city we were in but I you know I have to go from one side of the other and I start walking out and I trip and I fall flat on my face and I of course have to get up of you know I have to get up of you know know, of course. You're trying to be sexy. You're like, exactly. And I had holes.

Like, I, like, caught something on stage. So now my thigh highs are, like, covered in holes. And my wig is, like, half off. And I, like, chowl. And, like, when I fall, I'm so tall. And I'm in a three-inch heel. It's really loud and far and long. Like, you just, ah.

And then I laugh because I laugh when people fall. It's really bad. as I laughed at myself. So I'm trying to get off stage with what I look like and laughing and knowing that everyone else is also laughing. So that was a good on stage. I mean, that's like something you never want to happen on stage. No, that's the nightmare. Yeah.

Like, you know how you have nightmares about, well, forgetting your routine or any one of those things? Like that is what nightmares are made of. It's falling in front of everybody ripping off your wig. Wait, do you know what happened to me, our first night of tour? No. Oh, this is a good one. Or do I? Yes, you flashed everybody.

Tell me. Okay, so we're doing titanium. And, you know, I'm nervous because, like, I had like two days to learn that show, which is, you know, all fine. But so we do, we do titanium. And I had a quick change into that costume. And the costume is the same in the front as in the back, the deep V both ways. So I get dressed and I'm doing the dance and I'm nailing the dance, which, you know, you know, is like you feel so good. Yeah.

especially it's like your first night and first dance. Yeah. And right at the end, like, we're doing these things. And I don't really know that anything's going on. And then we're in our last pose. And that one looks at me and he goes, your nipple is out. Your nipple is out. And you know how like when, like, I'm so proud of myself that I'm just like staring into his eyes and I'm smiling like, aren't I a good partner?

And she's so proud of me. I nailed it. And then he was, your nipple is out. Your nipple is out. And you're not hearing it. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, I'm amazing. I'm amazing.

And then I would. You're like, what are you saying? I'm amazing. Yeah, I know. And so I looked down and I see like my whole right boob is out of the costume. And I'm like, so you had it on backwards. Had it on backwards. But you know what?

To be honest, I walked off stage and I could have, I could have cared less. Because honestly, like, boobs are boobs are boobs. And like, it's like, I don't really have boobs. I don't have big boobs. So, like, I'm not, it's not like, you know. And every dancer has seen. Boobobs are out everywhere all the time. and it's just another boob.

And if you're in that post, because I know what pose, I think you're thinking of, you're like, the end. Yeah. And now Alan is such a brother to me that I was just kind of like, oh, my God. My brother's so wonderful thing. My brother's on my noble.

Oh, my gosh. That is so funny. See, two good confessions. You didn't know you were going to have one and now you had two. I love it. They were good. With all of this, like, are you just enjoying everything that you're doing? Is there something you have planned for like what's next?

Or are you like, I've got so much going on right now. I'm just trying to keep up. Well, I film a Christmas movie in August. I'm excited about that. Oh, Christmas? That's the dream. Yeah, I know.

I created the movie and pitched it to CBS a Christmas ago. And it got greenlit a couple months ago. Holy crap. And I'm starring in it. Holy shit. Thank you. That's freaking huge. So we go to Vancouver in August.

We film it for three weeks and then it'll be out this Christmas on CBS. Oh my gosh. Wait, first of all, that is amazing. I just got excited because I go to Vancouver all the time because I live there for 11 years. Oh, okay. I don't know anything about it. I'll tell you everything and I'll probably be there in that time and you're going to love it. Vancouver is you're going to love it.

I've heard only the best of things and I've also heard that that time of year is like the perfect time to visit. So I'm excited. Oh my gosh. I can't wait for you to go to Cactus Club and try all of their food. Thank you so much. I freaking adore you. It was so nice talking to you. Yeah, I know, doesn't it?

So much better in person too. my gosh. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Love you. I'm excited. Love you. I'm excited for people to do the app. Watch your Christmas movie coming out. Tune into the talk and watch your Instagram and all the things. You're amazing. You inspire a lot of people. So love you.

I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Off the Vine. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow on your favorite podcast platform. and we'll see you next Tuesday. Hi, podcast listeners. This is Kelty from the Lady Gang podcast with over 150 million downloads and about 150 negative reviews on iTunes.

You know that people either love us or they hate us, and that makes a great show. Lady Gang is a twice weekly podcast where we help you feel less alone in your life with the help of our favorite reality stars and housewives, but mostly me and my two. friends, Becca and Jack, talk about the ugly and ridiculous and crazy things that happen in our lady life. Come get inspired. Come get a virtual podcast hug from us every Tuesday and Thursday,

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