Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Ashley Iaconetti: Dawson's Mom Has Got It Goin' On

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

TW: Birth and Pregnancy. Dawson’s mama, AKA the one and only Ashley I., is on the podcast today to catch up with her ole’ friend KB! While the two go way back (all the way back to 2015 on Chris Soules’ season), it’s been a hot minute since they’ve had a chance to catch up… and to say there’s a LOT to catch up on is an understatement. Since she’s last been on the pod, Ashley’s moved to a new state and new home, started a new business with hubby Jared, and became a mom to a human baby in addition to her fur baby! Always an open book, Ashley is ready to talk about anything and everything pregnancy, birthing, and mom-life with Kaitlyn. From bizarre mommy culture encounters to fainting horror stories to the status of her vajayjay, it’s all on the table. Plus, Kaitlyn gets a potentially life-altering baby-related text during the pod that’s all caught on the mic. It’s always a good time with these two! For those in Rhode Island and beyond, be sure to check out Audrey’s Coffee House & Lounge, and follow @ashley_iaconetti on Instagram for all the baby Dawson updates!  JENNI KAYNE - Find your forever pieces at jennikayne.com. And get 15% off your first order when you use code VINE at checkout. PELOTON - Visit onepeloton.com to learn more . TALKSPACE - Match with your dedicated therapist today at talkspace.com, and use promo code vine during sign-up to get $100 off your first month. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with eye gaming ontario this week's off the vine is sponsored by jenny kane find your forever pieces at jenicane dot com and get 15% off your first order when you use code vine checkout peloton visit one peloton dot com to learn more and talk space match with your dedicated therapist today at talkspace.com and use promo code vine during sign up to get $100 off your first month hey everybody you're listening to Thank you, Bristow's podcast, Off the Vine. Take it away, Bree.

Wine. Lots of wine. Hey, be on the mic, turn it up, let's go. Hey, ramen, Pino, ready for the show. Everyone's welcome, so come on in because OTV, it's about to begin. Hey. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow.

Ashley I joins me today to talk about all of the things she has going on in life, a new house, a new coffee lounge and obviously a new baby. She is freaking crazy and decided to do it all at once. And as you know, she doesn't sugarcoat anything. So I will ask her everything, including what her vagina looks like right now. Just kidding, am I? And I get a surprise text with some pretty big life-changing news. Oh, hi. Hi. Oh, my goodness. hi please have pee now oh my gosh he's being really cute because i was like having anxiety earlier and he's like bully my gosh he could not be cuter i know he's so sweet too he might get a little antsy though

because he's been up here just like staring at me for so long he's so cute i can't get over it so cute you know raven she posted on her instagram yesterday oh i don't know she posted this or she just told me but her dog is whenever the baby cries, the dog brings him a toy. Star. And that makes me want to cry. Like, I can't get out. Like, that makes me so emotional.

Oh, my God. I would die. Oh, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard. Yeah. Brinks of a toy, like, here, this will make it. That just goes to show how smart dogs are with emotions. I know. my gosh they know what like they they like legitimately it's um like a love language he's like giving a gift

there is nothing more pure than a dog's love right we have another friend that every time um they come home or whenever they have a guest the dog brings um has like an offering of some sort like just find something my dogs do that yes pino they're golden too that their dogs are golden Okay, that makes sense. Tucker used to do that too. Every time someone came in the house, Tucker would bring them either a remote control or a shoe, and then Pino just brings them toys. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I always call this holding hands. I'm like, he just wants to hold hands. It's okay. Oh, my gosh, too cute. Well, so it must be a retriever thing. I mean, it's in the name. Yeah, exactly. And then Raman, like, is nothing like a retriever. Like, Pino will retrieve a ball all day long. Like, as long, like, he could do it until, like, he's not okay. okay and just like passes out and ramen's like eh like and ramen doesn't act like a golden retriever in anyway oh my that's so funny i had the girl who you got the dogs from on my other podcast so jared and i want a golden but uh she said that she won't guarantee that you get a golden you'll get whatever dog fits you and you're like a living environment so that's really

nerve-wracking i know it's crazy i wanted to rescue a poodle because i was like oh it's smaller and I could, like, travel more. And she was like, I'm not just going to give you a poodle because it fits your lifestyle. And I was like, oh, okay. Right. But I like that because I was like, you're so legit. Like, she cares so much to a point where people think it's like that she's nasty or something or mean. But she literally, I've never in my life met someone more passionate about saving dogs.

Right. I know. She's amazing. I mean, what she does is amazing. And I mean, like, I might get the number wrong now, but. 200,000 a month or something like that to do what they do and it's all from donations yeah it's crazy because i mean think about how many surgeries and flights and like and everything they need to take care of and it's a crazy amount of dogs that need to be saved out of china and south

korea so it's so sad that they can't do it all you know i know i can't even like let my mind go there because anytime i think of like oh they sent me um like these little doggy bandanas that Pino's wearing and it like said a number on the card like this many dogs need saving and I was like like there's like these walking around that like aren't going to make it like I can't handle that no I can't handle it you're right I just can't let myself go there mentally no and I'm like okay well one day I'll be able to have like billions of dollars to save all the animals I know just need like a huge farm like farm with this in Montana is with acreage right yeah we would like that wouldn't we? We went to a dog park today and there was two other goldens there and it was

like, they immediately just like all loved each other so much. And I was like, I need more. Oh, that heaven imagery that you're giving me. I know. Four goldens together? It's a dream. It's really like, have you ever seen like the TikToks where there's like 30 Goldens just like running out of a fence and you're just like, oh, that's what heaven looks like. Yes, I have seen those TikToks and they're accurate. wait I actually had a question for you that I meant to ask you on your podcast but now this all works out because here you are on mine and then I get to ask you the questions but tell me why people say you don't love your dog as much once you have a baby it's really weird and

no you don't love your dog less you just love your baby more and you thought that you loved your dog like you'd love a baby yes and Lois of course is like sitting right under the bed next me and she, I feel like she can hear me say this and we feel guilty. But we're like, okay, why do we feel guilty for loving Dawson more than Lois? Because could you imagine how guilty we'd feel if we loved the dog more than Dawson bringing him home from the hospital? So it's all the way it should be. But it was funny. I think like if you had asked, so Jared and I are really weird. Well, we're not weird. We're probably very normal, but people put out this image that we might have been weird. Yes. We didn't feel like this crazy, immediate, earth-shattering feeling.

Did I say this to you? No. Okay. When we had Dawson, when he, like, came out, okay? When he was, like, placed on our chest, we weren't like, oh, my God, what is this feeling? We didn't have that. Yeah. It kind of grew within 24 hours, though.

So by the time that we were on our way home in the car with him, we were like, oh, okay, like, we really, really love him, like a lot. We said to each other, we're like, oh, man, how do we tell Lois that, like, we love something more than her? You don't. We were happy at that realization that we did love him more than Lois at that point. But we didn't have, like, that spiritual awakening thing, which I think a lot of people don't have, but people put this expectation out there that. Yeah, I bet there's so many expectations and things that people put out there about having a baby that now. that you've had it. You're like, oh, people are liars. Oh, 1,000 percent. People lie about a lot of things. Yeah. Yeah. Why is that? I don't know, but my sister-in-law, she really prepared me. And then Lauren from 90-day

fiancee, she also prepared me. She, they both said they were like, no, I did not have this, like, seeing the light feeling when my child came out. Like, I got it, like soon enough. But like, in that moment there's just it's just blah and you just delivered after so long and it's weird yeah i think there's so many probably different scenarios like i think there are those times where it's like the most blissful like i've never experienced my heart explode this much like and some people are probably like that like my mother-in-law says that she 1,000 percent like saw heaven's gates when jerry was born or when my sister-in-law was born she came first that's so funny and like i've seen so many questions about having a baby because I want, obviously, to have babies. And I figure you're the

perfect person to ask all these questions to you now, because one, you're an open book. You're pretty honest about a lot of things. And two, it's like so fresh to you that you're like figuring out so much as you go. Yeah. But okay, last time we podcasted, obviously you were pregnant. And we called him Tommy Pickles. Because Jared said that like he imagined him like Tommy Pickles. Yeah, that's hilarious. that's so funny because that's what I've like always if I saw pregnant photos of you I was always like all little Tommy pickles just making her life hell I can't wait to see what he's like as a baby oh my god that's so funny now he's Mikey to me from look who's talking so I like put Mikey's voice to like all these things that he's experiencing for the first time like my so John Travolta is your baby well no John Travolta's kid you know like his Mikey was the kid and he was talking it was Bruce Willis Bruce Willis Bruce Willis oh it was Bruce Willis. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay.

John Chirulte ended up being his daddy. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, Bruce Willis is his voice. And now when something happens, like when my father-in-law walks in, he has like this big bellowing voice. And like he's just like super loud and like very New England. Like heavy, heavy accent. I imagine what Dawson feels like.

He's like, man, I'm like, I like this big guy. Like, I like this guy. But like, he's really loud. You should do that, like, voiceovers. and like have a voice for what he's actually thinking when other things are not like you have time to just no but seriously if i did have time that would be awesome we should hire somebody just to create a funny tic-tok like that where it's like so we've had look who's talking one look he's talking too so maybe look and then look who's talking something something we'll figure it you could like make it like

so you have a mouth over his mouth and it's like actually talking yes yes i mean you can do that on the internet now you can make anything look great you did i did that for when i was pregnant and i told the baby the baby on ticto oh i see what you're saying yeah yeah yeah i made him say like something like mom shut up stop sitting to whitney houston the shower it hurts my ears oh my gosh all right so spring is in the air people and that means it's time to get some spring cleaning done i actually really like organizing and cleaning out my closet this time of year truly especially now when i'm trying to focus on high quality essentials that I can wear year-round. Jenny Kane really is the ultimate destination when you are looking for effortless everyday

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Here's a few of my faves, Beyonce, Brittany, and of course, the bees. so good. It really is easier to just stick to your goals when you keep workouts interesting and fun. And there's so much variety on the Peloton bike and the Peloton app that you will just want to keep coming back for more. Trust me. Visit OnePeloton.com to learn more. That's O-N-E-P-E-P-E-L-O-T-O-N.com. I love that you still had a sense of humor dream. Like, you look like you had one of the roughest pregnancies I've ever seen on the internet. I mean, that's probably another one of those, you know, people just making pregnancy look glorious and beautiful. And again, it probably is to some people like Jade so connected to her pregnancy and felt amazing. And then you were just so raw and real with everything. And I was like, that's how I want to be. Did I tell you about when, you know, how like sometimes they do a photo for a magazine, like when you first have a baby and it's like the first photo as a family. I'm like, I want to look exactly. Like I don't want to have Michael. I am done. I don't want my hair done. I want to look like absolute hell and just make it so

real. Be like, this is what I really look like. But again, that's why people would be obsessed with you even more because we never see that. It's so ridiculous that we don't see that. It's every motherhood and a lot of motherhood and pregnancy are both like totally over glamorized on Instagram. It's really weird. Like this mommy culture is kind of bizarre. Yeah. And it's like I mean, everyone can have, like, the lovely experience, but I want some real shit in there, too. Like, I want the moms who are, you know, painting this pretty picture to also give me a little glimpse into the set that people don't talk about. Yeah, right.

What do you think the number one thing is that moms don't talk about that you're like, oh, my God, how come nobody told me this? I feel like I was definitely more prepared for his, well, it's funny, because I didn't read anything. I could about like actually having the kid I read oh you didn't I read about pregnancy but I didn't read about like having the kid I prepared not at all and I kept telling my mom I was like mom am I gonna even like him like I don't even know like how like are you sure I'm gonna like this I'd always say that because I was I was like hate being pregnant so like how am I yeah are we sure I'm gonna like it my whole world's gonna change and then yes you do like it it doesn't say it doesn't mean that's not

stressful. But I was more prepared because I think people over-exaggerate everything is situational base, okay? Yes. Because lots people have fine pregnancies. I had the worst pregnancy. Lots of people have like colicky babies. They wake up every couple hours

and, you know, they're never sleep. They're always trying. And in my case, I have a pretty easy baby. Has he been fussy the past two weeks? Yeah, because he's becoming like alert to the world. Totally. But like, I have only been, like, tired a couple days, which is, but that's amazing.

People are going to hate me saying that. But that's what you mean when you say it's situational because, like, you also had such a tricky pregnancy and where you were sick the entire time and you didn't sleep or eat or feel good at all. So, like, you deserve this. Yeah. I mean, yeah. So everything, like, you can't say that you're prepared or, like, people don't, I was prepared for

this stuff because people are always like, oh, you think pregnancy is bad, wait to the baby's here and you're not sleeping and all right. It's like, well, actually, in my situation, pregnancy was way more stressful and like exhausting for you, which is, which is crazy but great that like it's the other way around. Like, you've already been through that. Is it, does it scare you to ever get pregnant again? Like, are you like one and done or are you like, no, I can do this all day? I can't be one and done. I won't do it like for. his sick. Like, I just, you know, I've been obsessed with having a sibling. I want him to have a sibling. Yeah, that's true. You will hopefully get one, but I dread the day. Yeah, but come on.

Is that like a thing that it happens? If you get sick in your pregnancy, you're sick in all pregnancies. I don't know the actual stats on it. Like they say, every pregnancy is different. So, yeah, of course, it could be completely different, but I have a feeling that if you have a tendency to be sick with one, you'll probably be sick at down with the other. Oh, gosh. Well, I hope not for you, but also, like, was it shocking to push a baby out your vagina and think it was going to go back to normal or, like, what's going on with your situation? I'm just, like, still mind boggled. Mind boggled because my mother-in-law delivered Jared.

He was 10, 2, okay? 10 pounds, 2 ounces. And she didn't have an epidural. And when we brought Dawson in for, like, it was his four-week appointment, he was, like, four and a half weeks of the time. He had that point was that size. and we looked at him and i was like jared your mom wish this out without like without an epidural i was in the hospital for not even and i wouldn't even say it was a full hour without the epidural i just got it

i like got in the delivery room i got it totally and that the amount of pain that i felt for that hour to imagine feeling that for 12 hours and then you get even more intensified because what i had with that It was nothing because early later. Women are true heroes. I mean, if you can push, I always say a watermelon out of a garden hose, like, how in the world do you do that? Because I used to be the girl that said, oh, no, I'm not going to push. Now I'm like, there's so many complications, like, if you do a C-section, right? Like, or maybe the recovery time.

I don't know. Why am I acting like I've had babies? Let's talk about that, actually, because I wanted a C-section. I was terrified of the idea of having him vaginally. Yeah. Early in my pregnancy, I used to go back and forth. I was like, do I want a C-Section? Do I just want to do it, bagellul?

When I was younger, I said, definitely C-section. No way. Then I got older. And I was like, no, for sure, I'm going to try, you know. And then when I was pregnant, I was like, oh, God, cannot. I will not be, I can't do it vaginally. I hope that they tell me that he's like 12 pounds so that there's no decision that needs to be made. and then they're just going to cut me open.

For some reason, me cut open, it sounded less scary to me. Right. I don't know why. I think I could conceptualize, like, surgery more than... I didn't, I, like, didn't start using tampons until I was in my 20s. Like, they scared me. Dude, that's what I was just thinking.

I'm, like, tampons, like, hurt me to go in. Like, I'm like... There's some times where it doesn't go in smoothly. Yeah. And I remember thinking, like, I went into my gynaecologist and she... I like, this is so embarrassing. I should use this as a confession. She literally, maybe I have.

She literally was like doing her thing and she was like, oh, like you are really tight. And I was like, thank you. When was that? Like four months ago. Recently? Yeah, exactly. I told, okay, so when I was, so my guy now, like, I don't even know if she's going to appreciate me saying this, but whatever I'm going to say it. She gave me like the option.

Yeah. It was like, if you're really that petrified, like, yeah. we can do a C-section. She's like, I think your body looks like, you know, you got the hips and you got, you know, just like looking down there. Like, she's like, I think you're going to be fully fine. I think we should try. My advice is that we try. And if like you're struggling, if like it's going really slow, if you get stuck at any point, then we'll just like, we'll get you out of that, you know, labor. We'll just cut you over. Where is I going with this? Yeah. Beat tight. Yeah, yeah. So, like two weeks before, I told them, I was like, listen, I think we just have to go over for the C-Sage. I can't deal with this scare. And I would, this is, this can be my confession for the day. Okay. I was like, it still, sex still hurts sometimes. Okay. Yeah. How is this supposed to come out? No way. No way. It's true, though. It's true. You were a little virgin when I met you. I know, right? So it's like, I just want to let you know. Like, it's still like kind of a fresh thing for me. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Have you, have you shared your birth story yet? Yes, in a podcast, but like not on YouTube, which we wanted to do. Jared has never edited the video. You can ask me anything, of course. But as far as, the status of my vagina you really want it to know i do it's crazy how this is something that people

don't tell you enough and they do tell you that's the thing they do tell you like it'll take some time to recover like you're going to be sore yeah they don't tell you that like getting up from the couch for two and a half weeks is like a job it's oh it's kind of like brutal and you like walk around on your tiptoes trying to put as little pressure on like the lower half of your body as possible for two and a half weeks. I Jared did 80% of diapers and stuff at that point because like everything hurts. Especially at night like getting out of bed and like just like all of a sudden putting that pressure out. Ooh. Yeah. Bad. And then you're like not allowed to use soap. So like you're just like sitting in like a hot bed. You're sitting in like a bath and like get some like sea salt

shit in there and you're like this does not do it for me. Like you're using like the cleansing wipes and stuff you just wanted to just want to like a little bar of soap yeah some some some body wash up up in there oh but then once you hit three weeks it's like amazing how it goes from ow ow ow to okay getting better and then at four i would say three and a half weeks you're like i feel back to normal almost oh yeah wow vaginas are such a freaking that's what they say wild beautiful they say they're like this is weird i heard this from some somebody on Instagram, and then I heard it from my own midwife. She said that vaginas are like supposed to tear and then just heal really well.

And I'm like, but why, but why can't they just stretch enough for, you know, you think that like. I feel like some people stretch and some people tear, but the fact that it just heals itself. Yeah, that's crazy. Well, I mean, you stitched up. What did they do? What did they do back before modern medicine? I don't understand this. crazy people are just having babies in the field and then like they're just supposed to like they have

a huge tear down there and they just sit in it yeah what do they do back of the day i don't know salt water ain't gonna cut it for that i don't know okay i want to talk about how scared you were going into birth because that seems to me like that's what would scare me is the like anxiety when my water broke and being like here we go i'm about to like be in so much pain yeah like where you Because you went, okay, I think this is really cool, how you went to the, you gave birth at the hospital. Your dad has worked at for like 20 years, right? Yeah, 30 years almost. They're almost 30.

That is, how cool is that? That is cool. And it was the best experience possible. I mean, it's going to be hard for us not to go back there for the second. And it was, you know, a little annoying because for the first six months, I had to fly home once a once a month, which, you know, that's not a big deal. It's an hour flight. but then once you get to the end you know it's every week so I was like okay buy Rhode island staying with my parents from January it was like January 8th on wow and so was Jared there

with you because you guys are also opening a restaurant or you opened a restaurant like what how the timing is absolute shit he he was there he like came for like four nights and then so in the it really like I mean I came on home on the 8th and then on the 31st I had him. So Jared came for four days in between that until I went to my regularly scheduled weekly appointment at 38 less like between 37, 38 weeks. And my midwife checked my cervix, a whole other thing you'll learn about that you don't know until, you know. And she was like, you are already three centimeters dilated. And I was like, what? And I didn't feel that. That's awesome. I was like that I'm pretty great I'm almost like 33% there and okay great so then she's like I think

you're gonna definitely be like going to the hospital within 24 to 48 hours so it ended up being 72 hours but of course I get out of the office and I was like Jared I think you're gonna have to come down now she said I could go in any minute and so he was there for the birth oh yeah he came down like he was here like three hours. He was down in Virginia three hours after the phone call. Oh, good for him. That's how convenient Rhode Island is from D.C. But that's okay, well, that's good because the fact that where you moved is close to where your dad has worked at the hospital for 30 years and that you had this nice little experience. I love that for you. And was Jared like part of the delivery or did he stay up by your head or how did that? I just can't, I don't know what I picture. I think we definitely told you in the last

podcast and how Jared fainted during two like vaginal scenes in movies. No, you didn't tell me that. Okay. Well, he was in a movie. It was Alien versus predator, I think. One of those things. Alien something. It was about a decade ago, maybe

eight years ago. It was like a little bit of four years on The Bachelor. Yeah. He was in a movie theater and there was like an alien sea section where like the kid came out of the belt like got like the belly got torn open and like a an alien baby came out yeah i think it was an alien and all of a sudden he got really woozy

stop it no yeah i know and then he's like oh man maybe i need something to eat like i need fresh air or something so he walks down the steps of the theater the last step faceplants no things in the middle of the theater packed friday night it was like opening day and they had to turn the lights on stop the movie the ambulance comes they got him like i don't know they put on a stretcher but he went into the ambulance and they took him to the hospital to get checked out and the the result was this vein in his neck like stopped pumping blood for a second because and that's like something from stress like from oh yes my gosh so he was probably more scared than you going into birth yeah we were like oh Jared's definitely going down

we know this he can't look there's no way he's going to look. And then this happened again in a movie theater like two years later. He was seeing Gone Girl and, you know, the scene where she like puts the bottle up her badge. Yes. Yes. Very, very traumatic. Yeah.

It was that part even more than like the neck slicing, I think, that got him. But like anyway, right after that, he turns to his friend and he goes, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to think. And he goes, yeah, dude, me too. And then Jerry goes, no, really. and he literally just faked it right there in his seat oh no okay so what is it with him and births or like vaginas he has a vagina trauma yeah oh no yeah so we were like yeah you're not going to be looking so and i told all the nurses with in there i was like listen he's not looking make sure he doesn't see anything we're going to keep this curtain sheet over me

you know he'll never look at me the same like will be will be ruined for the rest of their lives there won't be a second child there's no way he's gonna be able to like create that second child if he sees this uh but then like he kind of saw and did he go down he didn't go down um so he didn't see it from that point of view which thank god yeah he he saw him come out from a bird's eye view because apparently they were all lying to me he was able to see everything because even though the curtain was like over my knees yeah because of his height he was able to like just right everything right there i'm like all right fine and he survived he survived he should he should look he should bow down to that vagina i don't know if he we still don't know that he'll have sex with me

again but we'll see soon enough again oh gosh i'm like I always just say like that that's a hole there he's going to be fine that's so funny oh my gosh okay so he didn't go down he's got vagina trauma it all worked out but you had a nice birth experience yeah it was great that's awesome I know like for such a horrible pregnancy the birth of it all the labor and delivery does not scar me at all like I don't look back on that as something that I'm scared to do again which I think it's probably pretty rare. I was very lucky.

I went in there when I got checked, like when I first got admitted, I didn't even admit me yet when they were just checking me to see if like I was ready to go delivery room. Yeah. I was five centimeters dilated halfway there with barely feeling anything. Wow. Wow. I am kind of into cleaning out my house and there's something about spring cleaning that just

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Okay, let me ask you this. Do you get bad cramps when you're on your period? No. I mean, have I had them? Yes, of course. Is it regular with every period? No, not after I got on birth control. When I got on birth control, like at 22, then they, you know, that helps with cramps. So then it went away. And then even when I got off birth control to start trying to conceive for some reason, wasn't getting cramps then either. I get like cramps so bad to the point that I'm like almost sick to my stomach and I see

stars like at start, my vision starts to go black because the pain is so bad. So that's what it feels like. That's what a contraction feels like. I'm going to crush labor. See? So it's really bad period cramps. And then there's a point when you get a little further along that it feels like you have to poop and it feels like you're constipated as hell. That's what my sister told me.

Yeah. Yeah. My sister was in labor for like 62 hours and she pushed for two hours and she said as soon as she like started having to push, she's like, I feel like I'm going to shit. Yeah. The nurse was like, perfect. Yeah. They said you're just about where you're starting, you need to start pushing once you, once you feel like that, and you do. The older I get, the more in my head that, like, I convince myself, I'm going to have no shame. I'm like, oh, I want Jason to, like, witness the miracle of my vagina opening and delivering his child. Like, I don't care if I shit myself while I'm giving birth. Like, I don't care. I was like, this is a miracle. Well, then go for it. I feel like if anybody I know it can handle it.

it. I feel like Jason can. I think that he's the kind of guy that I'd be like, this is a miracle. Like he'll be like super passionate. I think he'll faint. I think he'll faint. No, really? He can't even, he can't even handle a needle like a scene, a small needle. I'm like, I'm like sticking me with all the needles. Same. I just did like two hours ago at Botox. Oh, exactly. Perfect. I got Botox two weeks after delivering. It was fantastic. That's, I'm going to be, I'm going to ask the my girl Elizabeth to be in there in the delivery room with me like poke me as soon as that baby's out because I don't know what this face is going to look like without mottacks oh it lasted so mine lasted a good amount of time because I got it February 2021 and then of course like I get

pregnant late May when I was just about due for Botox again I was like damn it it should have acted sooner and then it actually like lasted a good amount of time I definitely threw the summer and then through the fall it wasn't that bad but come December oh yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna age like eight years in those nine months like it's gonna be so unfortunate but you know that that's what I get for waiting until like the age of 39 to probably have a child so whatever you're gonna be fine no you're 36 you're good 36 I know that's insane I can't believe you're 36 still you're still a child to me I still feel like a child so there's that how long did you guys have your name picked up for I know it wasn't always tell me pickles, but like, did you always know that that was going to be the name?

I knew there had to be a Brady in there. Oh, but the Brady didn't come until the weekend up. Uh-uh. Yeah. We even did our name reveal with Amazon and, like, we revealed that Dawson DeVitry Haven and people, I even said, like, did you go back on my Instagram? It says, no, his name will not be, when I'm gender revealed. I was like, no, his name will not be Brady. And, well, I do remember that actually.

actually. Yeah. So, Wilford, Dawson was picked when I was 20. You know, Titanic favorite movie of all time. Classic Ashley. Will always be. Yeah, I was like, I'm surprised that I didn't tell you in The Bachelor Mansion. My first part is going to be Dawson. You might have.

Even though that's, as I love the name, by the way. I don't know if I told you that, but it's perfect. But yeah, okay. Jared was not cool with Dawson being a girl's name. I was fine if it was either way. Yeah, either way. Yeah, either way. So then Dimitri, first we were going to do roads. It was going to be Rhodes after Rhode Island since students obsessed with Rhode Island.

And when I got pregnant here and I wanted and I was barping all day long during the first couple months of living here, I was like, his name is not Rhodes. And then Demetri was always a name that I liked. And one day I was just like, I was like, Dawson Roadhaven. I love Dawson, Redhaven. And then I was like, but wait, Dawson, Demetri Haven. That sounds way better. So I was like, Jared, how are you down with this? And he was like, yes, definitely down with that.

And then it was the weekend that I gave birth that all the rumors started that Brady was going to retire. And Jared just, you know, when he talks about him with all the passion and he love him so much. Oh, yeah. That's like if Santa Claus was real to us, like that would be like Tom Brady to him. Like he's like a magical unicorn man who is like just brings joy to the world. Yeah, well, you know how he, you know how Jared, like, has an obsession with Superman to the point that he was a love man for you. Yeah. Well, not for me for Brett, but yeah.

Never forget. That is so right. So I think he really thinks of Tom as as the real life Superman. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. And that's, I did not, I forgot that you did the name reveal and that Brady wasn't in it and that you were like, no. So what convinced you? So I mean, just that weekend when he was retiring and like going through like all this old footage of Jared and him talking so passionately about him and me crying, like crying, not like a little tear.

Like I actually cried like bachelor style when I found out that he was probably retiring. And I was like, okay, I guess this guy really does have quite an effect in our lives. And I don't think we're ever going to regret it. So like let's just, you know, maybe we'll do it. Maybe we'll do it, right? And then the day after he was born, they give us the birth certificate form to fill out. As Tom Brady's retirement stuff is all over ESPN, it was officially announced that we were like, yeah, let's put it down. And now he's not retiring. And now he's not, which is even better because now Jared can enjoy a season. The legend lives on. In his arms, yeah. That's so funny. That was your Instagram post. the other day, right, about how you called him to tell him. Yeah.

Oh, it was so good. So good. He was expecting some news like that. Oh, wait. I just got a text. I just got a text from my psychic who texts me like randomly. Really? She said random message, but I feel like,

whoa! What? She just said random message, but I feel like your baby is close. Like, if you plan to get pregnant this month or next you will. That's what she just sent me. Wait, stop! How weird is that? Please.

Please, this is on recording. This is going to be too cool and it actually happens. But I haven't been to the Maldives yet. I want to go before I have a baby. You got to go to Maldives now. This is your break month. Maybe that's when it's going to happen. I'm going to go to the Maldives on my break and that's what I'm going to get pregnant.

Yeah, you're going to get pregnant there. That would be awesome. That just made my stomach do flips. Like the fact that we were just talking about it because I am like, baby is on my brain like so much and so talking to you. It's like, right. And the fact that she just messaged me and said that. And you just said like, I'm not going to have a baby till I'm like, I'm like 29 or 39.

That was wild. That is wild. Okay. Your ring is so gigantic. And now I have to ask, would you be cool getting pregnant before you were married? And like, how would you like, would do the wedding then? I would, but Jason doesn't want to. It's so funny because he's like, he's so traditional, but he's not at the same time.

Like he's starting to, you know, with his whole, like, you used to think like you go to school, you go to college, you get engaged, you get married, you have babies like, this is the plan. But ever since he's like rewired his whole career and has like started this movement and this book. And he's kind of like lost a little bit of that, like, oh, it has to be. a certain way. Yeah. But he still wants to get married before we get pregnant. I don't think he's going to be devastated if we get pregnant before the wedding. But I don't know what it's going to happen. I'm like freaking out right now because she just said that. So now I'm like, condoms it is. Yeah. You definitely wait until you're ready. I think. Yeah. That was so wild.

Yeah. No, I don't, but do you think anyone's ever really ready? Like I know. I said that just came out of my mouth and then I was like wait a second my empathetic little soul like every time I talk about like getting pregnant I just think about how like what if it doesn't happen for me because I'm like so sad for it to not happen for other people and I know so many people who have had so many struggles and then I'm like feel guilty for being excited about my unborn children and I just don't know how to navigate this world anymore it is hard it is hard to talk about all that because that's just like me talking about like how I was so sick and I there's people saying like I wish I was wish I wish You know, like, I wouldn't do anything to, like, throw up that many times.

So it meant that I was having a healthy pregnancy and all that. So. Yeah. Yeah. And which is also valid and so fair. It's just so, it's so hard because everyone, you know, talks about their experience and their social media. So these people are, like, bombarded with media that probably feels so triggering to them. But like, it's, I mean, we all have something. And I just want to be very sensitive to that too. Because I'm like, please bless me with a child. Like, I will try and have, like, I think you were really good about that. when you were sick, you're like, I understand that people, like, would want to. But it's, it's your experience and you had a tough go and that's okay too. Yeah. And I wanted, you know,

the women who did have rough pregnancies to also not feel alone in that. Right. Yeah, that's hard to talk about it in order to do that. Yeah. And we talk about everything. So there's that as well. Exactly. At what age do you stop counting in months for a baby? Counting in months? What do you mean? Well, because like your 400 and eight months, you love cheeseburger, Botoxin, Red Sangria. At what point do you stop saying months for a child? Oh, I think it's probably officially two.

Is that what it is? Yeah. Or maybe it's a year and a half, right? Because, like, some people will say 16 months, but do they ever say 17 months? No. Yeah. That's true. Well, that's, yeah.

Well, 17, 18 months would technically be a year and a half. But I think that people stop at, like, 16 months. That just rolls off the top. Yeah, 16 months, 17 months. I don't know. I've heard people say 18 months. I'm always just like after a year. Can you just tell me it's just a year and a few months? I don't know. Yeah. Okay. I wanted to talk about because I'm obviously so open with like mental health and struggles and there's, you know, the whole postpartum. Have you experienced anything like that or? Because my girlfriend didn't experience it at all and she just had it like three days straight really bad and then never again. Like hormones are so. that's baby blues that's that's a little different so okay apparently like two weeks within like the first two weeks two weeks three weeks baby blues is totally normal like to be like sad and like really tearful for a couple days yeah i cried so easily the first three weeks about not not sad things everything is like a happy sad it was just like i'm so concerned that everything is in my life is

going to go to shit like somebody's going to I was I'm always like my my like trigger case scenario it's always somebody dying okay it's Jared dying or my parents dying somebody very close to me because have not had a huge loss like that in my life and it is my biggest fear it also happens to be Jared's biggest fear when our parents go we're going to be wrecked so yeah hard so long so yeah when Dawson was born and like he was just so perfect and everything was just happy and wonderful. I was like, okay, well, this can't last much longer. The curse is going to come and something's going to hit me.

So that's what I really kept worrying about the first couple weeks. Like when Jared had to go back to Rhode Island without me, it was like, oh, his plan's going to crash, like, all that stuff, you know? Yeah. And then it got better to the point where now it's just like how it is normally for me. So it's like always a fear, but not something that like I'm thinking about something like crying over. Yeah, it's not something I'm crying over.

And then, you know, I would press because it's like, everything is so perfect. But as far as postpartum depression, now I haven't had any of that. And like super lucky. Definitely need to talk around it more. I'm glad I think people have to talk about it a lot more the past like decade or so. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people have been opening up.

Like I remember seeing like if like Chrissy Teigen and certain people talking about how bad they suffered from it. And I just like when people, I mean, it's great if you don't experience it. But I also like what people talk about it if they do because I think, and again, I'm just already having, you know, worst case scenario thoughts over here. But I'm like, oh, I'm going to have it bad because my hormones like, actually I have like full blown like sideburns and like chin hairs and like I like am not okay on that time of the month. Like I am like, my hormones are so wonky and all over the place that I'm like, I can't even imagine what I'm going to be like pregnant and postpartum.

Yeah. I'm worried for myself. I don't, but like, sort of the same thing. My doctor said that I'm hormonally sensitive, which is like why I was like super sick, why the acne got so bad. Yeah. But I don't get like the mood thing. Like I don't get really moody.

So I wonder if there are different hormones that create different things because I feel like I'm like testosterone heavy. Okay, but I also feel like that with myself. But I actually have to make an appointment. There's this woman in Nashville, her name's Dr. Melissa, and she's, like, a hormonal expert. And I need to make an appointment with her because I need to check my, like, I want to check my thyroid. And the chronologist? Yes.

And I need details because, first of all, if my baby is clearly coming soon, like my second said, then I need to start regulating and be, you know, I've been on prenatals for like a year now. But that's for my hair growth. So maybe that's why I have sideburns. I'm like on too many hair growth supplements. Do you actually notice sideburns and facial hair during your period time? During all the time. No, I don't think of you like that at all. I always am like that, though.

I'm like the hairiest beast. No, I'm, I get laser on my whole face, but it's hormone so it comes back. But it's, it's bad. And I'm like, I'm so much shame around. I just got rid of the other day. No. No, but you, my. skin's pretty good. I will give myself that. I will. Yeah, but see, it's always something. I'm

like, people are like, you have such great skin. And I'm like, well, I also have hair growing out of like every follicle on my face. Like, what would you rather? I don't even know. I just shave my face like daily. It's bad. I just derma plane before this. Oh, yeah. Dermapraplaining tomorrow. So maybe I'll grow up, grow up my burns. The dermline feels so good. It's the best. It really is. It's the freaking best. to postpartum depression though for just a second yeah it's interesting people I've really been asking how I'm doing people keep saying like everybody asked about how the baby is but I want to know like how you are I'm like I'm great now I was just horrible the you know the past nine months and

now everybody wants to know how I it's like I was telling everyone I was horrible and now nobody believes me when I say oh I'm great are you sure like are you sure yeah no now I feel great I can chug water. Oh, my gosh. Have you had a red sangria? I had, yes. I've had a number. They're great.

Oh, good, good. I was actually going to have a mimosa here with you. Oh. But, you know, I forgot it. Damn, we should have planned that because I would have been all over that. Also, what is Jared like as a dad? Is he what we all would think he would be? Yeah, 1,000 percent.

Yeah. Yeah. If you imagine a mushy talks to the baby, so helpful. he's exactly what you would imagine this first three weeks I like didn't do anything with him like I guess you shouldn't you shouldn't do anything for nine months

but you have to but see it felt I felt I felt guilty because he was changing so many diapers and feeding him was like everything he was just so hands on and he is still so hands on but like I was like oh this is so unequal I'm never I'm going to be a horrible mom no it's going to be a deck

this kid is going to be a daddy's boy because he's just going to be the only one taking care of him, but now I'm in the swing of it. Yeah, no, the first few weeks, that's, that's, you know, the least they could do, but gold star for Jared for stepping up because we knew he would. I honestly, on like a stress chart, like the most stressful things you could do in life is like move, start a business, have a baby. And you guys did like all the most stressful things at once while maintaining like a healthy relationship. Like, how did you do that? We, I have no idea.

truly don't have had any idea as far as the house goes our families have been super helpful oh that's so nice so like my mom has been here my dad has been here my sister's been here and now they're doing it all over again like this cycle which is yeah my dad's coming this week then my mom's to come next week and then my sister's going to come again and then Jared's parents are so close so they're babysitting all the time and yeah it helped for us even living with my parents for like the two and a half weeks after delivery. So that was all fine. But it's the biggest stressor has been the business because Jared is working crazy hours. Yeah. Yeah. He's down there. I'd say an average of 10 hours a day. Wow. Well, I mean, it's it's great that he knows what it takes to run a place like

that because he's done that as his job before. But yeah, those hours are nuts and so crazy. but that that means it's going well if he's busy yeah yes it is audrey's coffee house and lounge south kingstown rhode island come come visit us jared bartends like jared's the one behind the behind the counter most days it is cool he's either like making your sandwich or making your marketing wow that's awesome that's i just picture it like like the friends coffee shop where like central perk like people but then it turns into like oh let's turn it this coffee into an espresso martini and then it gets liddy city and then it's so fun like i want to come down there and have a cocktail well we'll be getting you down here whenever you want you just

let us know when you have like three days in your schedule which probably will be never no i i'm trying to make it so that i do have three days in my schedule to do things like go see friends to make a baby to make a baby to go see friends i want to like sit down with you and jared and talk wedding stuff yeah so badly but i don't want to do it over zoom i want to see you guys and i want to meet Dawson and I just want to come out of espresso martini at Audries and I want to do all the things because I love Rhode Island. Bless you. I just peed.

Thank you. I can't even imagine. I pee sometimes when I sneeze or jump on a trampoline. What am I going to be like when I'm over here bragging about a tight vagina when I can't even jump on a trampoline without peeing? Oh, hey. That's a different hole. That's a different hall.

That's a really different area. Yeah. Different hole. I knew that. Oh, now that's something. Nobody told me I'd be peeing this much postpartum. Do you still have to wear a little bit? Got out of that a little bit like a week ago. Got my period today. So I do have a pad off. Did you really? Yes. Got my period. And I'm a little too scared to use tampons yet.

So I'm going to like wait until, yeah, I've waited for more weeks for putting things in there. My girlfriend told me that she used to put her diapers and pads in the freezer. so that when she put it on after birth, it was just like a little ice pack down there. Yeah, yeah, I did that. It doesn't stay cold very long. Oh, that's fair enough. They need to come up with something like that.

Maybe that's... You'll find them. No, no, they're there. The freedom mom has invented them. Oh, okay, okay, okay. But yes, please, please. We're going to bring you out here. Literally, you give me a date.

I am probably free because everything I do is from this house now. I do. I really actually want to come out there. Like, is it beautiful in, like, May, June? Well, that's when we want all our friends to come out here and find it, to see it for the first time, because we want you guys to, like, experience a vacation while you're here, as mine as well, like, you know. So, yes, you enjoyed Newport for our wedding, like, come in June. I love, I loved it. It's so quaint and cute and special and unique, and I just can't wait to smush your baby.

Oh, thanks. Oh, actually, your wedding planner is. going to be here in May. Oh, is he? Yeah, maybe we can do like a whole thing in May. I don't know. Well, then that would be actually really fun because we want to talk to you guys about wedding stuff.

So if he's there, that would be great. Yeah. And so, well, the people who did our wedding videography, because they are also doing this wedding. Wait, will you send me your wedding video? Yeah. Okay, I want to see. Oh, yeah.

Maybe you haven't seen that. Oh, it's so great. I don't. Oh, I've seen stuff on your Instagram and stuff. Yeah. Shout out to Ler. Yeah, Larev, I want to see, I want to see your work. What would you do differently the next time around having a baby, if anything?

If it is possible, I would like to just not have any work the first trimester. Yeah. I'm going to like tell my agent, tell my podcast, and we're like, guys, I'm off. We can record things in advance. You know, when I find out that I'm pregnant and, like, I'm not sick with the first two weeks. So, like, this past time, it was like 20 podcasts at one day. But we're going to bank lots and lots of things. We're going to work like a whole two months worth in two weeks.

And that way I can just sit there and binge a show my entire, like, massively sick part. You know, once I can take Zophran, which is at 12 weeks, then I'll be able to function. In that six to 12 weeks, I just would love it to be completely off. Yeah, yeah. Zophran is the thing that makes you less nauseous, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, that's amazing.

Okay, well, thank you for telling me all of the things that nobody else probably wants to talk about. It's so much fun. We can do this for hours. I know. That's why I love it. I'm like, sometimes I forget we're on a podcast because I'm like asking you questions for like myself personally too. I love that. It's the best podcast, right?

Does Audrey's have an Instagram? Yes, it's Audrey's Coffee Lounge on Instagram. And our social media girls good. So it's a good follow, even if you don't live in the state. Oh, fun. Okay. That's awesome. Well, gosh, you guys are just amazing humans and, like, so much going on yet still so humble and kind and sweet.

And I'm just so happy for you guys. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast one. com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Stream the biggest movies and TV shows for free on Pluto TV. Watch movies like Titanic and G.I. Joe, The Rise of Cobra.

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