Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Ashley & Rayna from Girls Gotta Eat | Plastic Surgery, Manifesting, and Sex Toys

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

#710. Get ready for a riotous ride of laughter and revelations as Kaitlyn Bristowe brings Rayna Greenberg and Ashley Hesseltine from "Girls Gotta Eat" to this week's GRAPE THERAPY episode! From side-splitting boob job anecdotes to the perils of solo living, this trio fearlessly dives into the trenches of relationships, manifestation, & partner selection! With their trademark candidness and razor-sharp wit, they'll have you simultaneously nodding along and doubling over with laughter. And just when you think it can't get any better, brace yourself for some jaw-dropping confessions, including an exclusive story from Ashley that's worth the listen alone! Tune in now for a rollercoaster of hilarity, insights, and unforgettable moments with the unstoppable duo from Girls Gotta Eat! Highlights from today’s episode: Rayna delivers a truth bomb: "There are no ugly people. Just poor people." (5:20) Kaitlyn reveals her not-so relaxing nightly ritual of self-diagnosing while watching Grey’s Anatomy. (15:41) Ashley spills the beans on her relationship with Larry David and her secret to making him laugh! (17:10) The Girls get real about their "List" of partner qualifications, distinguishing between Wants and Needs. (19:18) Rayna drops wisdom on why choosing the right partner is the most critical decision we'll ever make. (22:40) Kaitlyn picks Ashley's brain for tips on long-distance relationships. (27:40) Ashley unveils a VINO EXCLUSIVE story that she's finally ready to share! (53:05) Thank you to our amazing sponsors! Check these deals out, Vino’s: ROSETTA — Get 50% off at RosettaStone.com/vine today.  QUINCE — Go to Quince.com /Vine for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.c See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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on your order and 365 day returns. I'm katelym Bristow your session is now starting. Welcome to the show. Hey everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and it had been, gosh, since 2018 that I had a podcast in person with these two, many Zooms, but the energy that is just so electric when we're all together, girls got to eat, Raina and Ashley. And it is always a blast talking to them, so I know you'll enjoy this one. I'm so obsessed that we get to do this again. And the last time we did a podcast of person was 2018. Is that what you said?

Yes. That's embarrassing. We were really new. And when we got, that was our, we were in Nashville for our third, third show ever. And we got asked to do the podcast. We were like, is this real? And then you, like, Instagram storied about it. We were like, oh, my gosh, because we were really so new to the game.

Well, we had our old faces. Like, it was a whole thing. Your old faces? Yeah. You got new faces? Yeah. Like, tell me more. Like, Botox?

I've got a lot of Botox and filler. I have new teeth, by it. the time I met you. Oh, you didn't. I haven't done a lot since I met her. I'm about to do a bunch. What are you going to do? Oh, and I have my third boob job.

Oh, nice. So I've had three boob jobs since we saw you. Why have you had three? So I had a reduction, which is something that I thought about for my whole life. I had like triple F boobs. I was the biggest boobes you've ever seen. I'm five feet tall. Yeah.

So I always wanted to do it and I talked about it for so long. I'd be so supportive and I got it done. And when I woke up, I was just like, I don't think he took any out. Like, I don't really know what happened here. and everybody kept saying like I would be like I had a breast reduction and people would be like

you mean you're getting a breast reduction and it was sad I laughed and I'm uncompy I felt so bad for her people were like I'm sorry what and so I like

kept going and he kept gaslighting me being like well it's subjective and I'm like it's not subjective they're so huge so he's like I guess we'll do it again and he did it and when they healed they healed my left breast healed like kind of like with a deformity

and why do you keep going back to this person I did not feel the third one the first time because he owed be a freebie. Fair. Fair. So it's like a really reputable guy. Like right? Really? Do like a grupon. You know? Like she really went to like the best guy in town. Wow. Yes, I put up an Instagram story. I said, does anybody know anybody great? I got like a dozen

recommendations for this guy. The nurse on the way into the room was like, he does all the celebrities. He's so great. And I was like, plus me. And he did it a second time. And the way that the scar healed, it kind of like rooshed. And the breast tissue never grew back on like the side of my breast. So it was like almost like an indent on my boo. And I just felt, I was like, am I going to look like this the rest of my life? Which is like, fine. All bodies are beautiful. Right, right.

But I was like, I've been so far down this road. I spent so much money. Let's fix it. Yeah. So I met this great guy here. His name is Dr. Daniel Barrett. He's in L.A., and he gave me my third boo job.

Now we're happy. And now we're happy. Yeah. Third time is a charm. Oh, are we doing mine? You go. You go. I literally said, like,

you're like, Caitlin, you're next. We're really open about it. I got my nose done in 2021. Did you really? Yeah. And it was, honestly, it was just the best thing oh cool like it was something i'd considered for a while and i went to this doctor

in new york new jersey is technically new jersey named dr obcinski and it's so funny because they reached out the girl who works in like the front office was a fan and she was like if you girls would want to come in and get you know your botox your fillers and we're like it's kind of far from manhattan right but i go to his instagram and he's like the rhinoplasty guy oh wow and i was like could you could you get on a call maybe yeah what if i just did a whole nose job and they were like sure yeah i I mean, I had, like, a little bit of a deal with them, but I paid for it. Like, I was like, I don't know how much I want to document this whole journey. Right, right.

Also, that's, like, an honor, like, a privilege to even have that on the table. But, yeah, I, like, you know, paid for it for the most part. And had a great experience and then just general, you know, like, did you do one of those TikToks where it's like, day one. I did it. I saw so many of them right on the time, obviously, because my algorithm is serving me, like, what I'm searching. And I kind of thought about it.

I did one the day right before I, like, went under the time. the knife and then I like never follow through and the amount of half done TikToks I have saved in my draft so I go I can't wait to finish I have this like drugged up you know me trying to get a side profile like one thing people that do that I'm amazed by it when they do like day one 14 of the healing actually made me laugh so hard though because she was like I think I'm getting a nose job and I was like one and she was like on Monday well they just had an opening like we were my brother was getting married and this was like still I mean we'd been back stated but it was still like COVID-ish

you know and which was nice because I got to wear a mask we had to time it with like my brother's wedding and he was such an amazing surgeon he was like right at this like three and a half week point you're going to feel fine you're going to feel fine in photos and feel photo ready and he was right but it was I think you're going to be like and I look you back oh so and you're happy you did it yeah and we did

it's great right it came with me for the like reveal and it was like so emotional like I posted that video yeah when they had pulled a mirror up It's like, have you ever seen that show? The Swan? I remember that. Oh my God, that show was so... Oh, my God, that show was so...

It literally put like 30 procedures on somebody. Yes. It was crazy. Yeah, and then like showed them in a mirror after and they were like beautiful. And they're like crying, but they like... It's so damaging. I know. The way that we grew up.

I think crazy. But like it goes to show you there's no ugly people, just poor people. If you have enough money. It's really true. It's really... You can look at it. Like, I just, we... Ashley and I like to talk about this all the time.

Listen, I take lessons. It's fine to be poor or ugly. Do whatever you want. But Ashley and I like to talk about this all the time. We're super open about it because you don't owe anybody information about your body. I really stand by that. But it is nice to have people that will talk about it and just say, like, I don't look like this just from naturally aging gracefully. I'm going through it right now with comments that people are making because they know.

They know that I'm scared of aging. So then the haters are like, you look old. And I'm like, you know how to cut to the core of me? Which is like, they don't even mean it. Like, they just found a weakness that they just dug into. Yeah, but my brain believes it. Of course, but because I go, okay. And then everyone's like, yeah, she stopped going under the knife.

And I'm like, you can't just wait till I go under the knife. You will know. I'm not yet and I am going to. Right. I cannot wait. When I'm, I don't know what age, 65, let's say, and I want a facelift. I'm getting a facelift. I'm going to wait before that.

I'm going to half facelift at 52. Oh, yeah. You can do the half. What's a half? Just a little last. Wait, wait. Don't you just. need to have? Actually, I don't know for sure, but you know who just did it and was like open about

it? She was, um, Cat Sadler. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And was really open. Oh, yeah, I remember to do that. Yeah. And it was like, facelift light. Yeah. She's not that old. I do remember that. Whatever she did, I'm down. Yeah. I'll do it. You also have to remember that like, no matter what you do, Kaelin, like everybody is going to have to me to say. Like, yeah. You could get no work done. People call you ugly. You get too much work done. They're going to say you're too vain. Like, you're not going to win. So just do what makes you happen. That's true. There's one celebrity, she just constantly gets dragged because she just refuses to get anything done. It's like, we can't win.

Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no. If I actually aged, like, without the amount of Botox I get in my face, people would be like, you look old. They're like, you look old because of how much Botox you're getting in your face. I'm like, that doesn't even add up. No, you can't win. And that's when I kind of find it funny. I'm like, you guys don't even know what you're saying.

You just are making, you just are trying to hurt my feelings in any way that you can. I was talking to, do you a Celtie Knight? Yeah. She was like, showed me a screenshot. somebody just called her Caitlin Jenner and they're like she and she goes the amount of times people tell me it look like Caitlin Jenner and I'm like that's people literally just trying to be like how can I offend somebody not saying Caitlin Jenner is not beautiful I'm just saying you know what I'm exactly somebody showed up to make to make you feel bad today that's their purpose yes do you guys

get haters we yeah of course we we we say we have it pretty good you know I think that we we have I but I always think like if we really like gained popularity and a following, like me personally, like in my 20s, I think it would have been bad news for me. I think I would have just let it be bothered so much. I would have responded to so much. I wouldn't have really been able to manage it. And I think that having it in our 30s and I'm 40 now, but I just, we've learned a lot of how to, like, not take the bait and not to lean in because people really do know when

you have a weakness and, you know, they just go harder on you. So I think we've learned of like when to even pay attention to something or let it roll off our back or I think I really have learned a lot. funny that you do really have to learn how to know what's more like this I mean we just I feel like we're really lucky with a great audience a lot of women they're really supportive they want to hype us

I think that she and I don't really lean into it and acknowledge it so that kind of quiets people because they know they're not going to get your attention as much and it's not the people don't leave those kind of comments they will but we just kind of ignore it and I don't read comments about myself online I would never go on Reddit I don't want to read the Instagram comments

even it's just it's not healthy for me and I'm really lucky I have a business partner we have great people that work with us. We have great families. We have sounding boards. We're not impervious to feedback. I'm just not going to take it from a stranger that I don't know. Yeah, I actively ignore it and like I would never go on Reddit. I haven't read our podcast review since 2019. Like I just don't. But I, when you're younger, like this was the thing I thought when I was watching the Demilio show, they like can't not read it. And yeah, I get it. If I would have been a teenager or even my 20s, like I would have like in a sick way you have to soak it in or something.

I know. But they're also, you were able to ignore things more, I think. Them at whatever ages they are are more mature than I am at 38 I don't understand like those girls are like actually like they seem like they've got it figured out like they don't I think they have a lot of more than what I had at their age especially given their platform my gosh when didn't you both live in New York yeah we just moved here one year ago we just celebrated one year in LA do you miss the city no winter it's pretty cold I know I just came from there last night we're really happy here and i think we are such new yorkers and media is in new york for us and we've had these great careers there and we love east coast people we're

very much east coast people but yeah um we're really happy here we love the weather and having homes and cars and it's just nice it's an easier life i feel like that's a big transition yeah i mean i'm glad we got to do it together we like always been on the same page about stuff so we came out here january 2023 like temporarily we're like we'll do three months we do air bambi's And, I mean, honestly, within a month, six weeks, we're like, we're going to stay. Really? Like leases and make it official. I love that.

Yeah. So, I wish I could move, but if I did it, it would be to New York. We get it. Yeah. We always, like, you know, waffle sometimes. It's like, do we want to go back? Yeah. Because there's, like, great things about both.

I wish we could just, like, be into places. That's true. I wish it was closer. Yeah. Which flight last night, I was like, are we there yet? It's like six hours. Brutal. Oh, God.

L.A. to New York when you, like, lose the time. you're like that was a 12-hour day. Yes. Like with the time change, but like when I'm talking, I leave my house at 9 a.m. And I'm in New York hotel at 9 p.m. Yeah. Like it is life-ruining. Life ruining.

And you guys have, like me, done so many podcasts. You have over 300 episodes. We just had 300 last week. That's crazy. Yeah. We're celebrating six years next month. And we met you at right before our third live show. We've done like 200 since then.

Oh, my gosh. I love live show. shows they're so much fun i'm doing another tour coming up oh you are so excited yeah it's been the longest i've gone without doing one and i miss it and i love it and i feel like i'm gonna have like a whole new perspective of it because i think i was burnt out the last time i did it and i was like oh i shouldn't i shouldn't do that to myself anymore now i'm like craving it like i can't wait to get out and meet all of the yeah why does it start trying to decide that i think end of march be so exciting yeah yeah you got to take a break for you yeah i did i took a break but i

I need to be, like, in the arms of the vinos. Like, what is it called? Crowdsurf. That's what I do. Yeah. I do that once. It is a rush. It's such a rush.

I do it every time. You do it? You really do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do it every time. That's iconic. It's so cool. You're so small. Like, what if I tried to crowd serve?

They'd be like, will you dropped her? No. They'd be like, just the short one. The tall one stays on stage. You can just, like, you can just, like, vision it and imagine, but watch through her. They could maybe lift me up in a chair, like a Jewish wedding. Oh, good. We were talking about being kidnapped the other day, and Ashley was like, I think I'm

outside of age range to be kidnapped. And I was like, you're outside of height range to be kidnapped. Somebody could put me in the glove box. I'm five feet tall. Nobody's going to try to kidnap Ashley. Her legs are as long as my body. She doesn't even fit in the trunk. Put her back.

Put her back. I feel like with me, they'd be like, she never stops talking. No, have you brought her back? The Netflix. That's why we're talking about it. And obviously, we're joking. Like, it's a horrible thing. Of course.

We've lost sleep over it. But what a documentary. The ending, really, I won't say what it is for people who haven't listened. But, like, that made me weep. Oh, sobbing. And also, I'd been so angry for three hours. Yes. The very end, I lost my mind because it was so much emotions other than, like, well, again, I don't want to give it away.

But it wasn't sad. But it wasn't sad. But it wasn't sad to you. Right. Well, yeah. Lack of. Three hours of, like, anger. And I'm being scared.

Yeah. And then you kind of get this. Well, again, I don't want to give it away. But. emotional release. I was like losing it. Really a nice job of that. Yeah, that's exactly what happens

without giving it away. Yeah. That's, and I had just moved into a house by myself and I'm like, I know, we have. I'm scared. I'm so scared all the time. We're scared constantly. I had a neighbor that lived next door to me.

He's this big, giant, gorgeous Israeli man. And he left. He moved out. I was texting him on Saturday night, like, can you please come over? Just sleep over? And he was like, come to this bar. And I was like, I will literally,

I'll pick you up at this bar. We'll come over. I know. My new neighbor came over and he told me he's an ex-cop and I was like, okay. That's good. That's good. That's a little bit better. That's nice.

This is your first time living alone. In my 20s, I went into debt just to live alone. I cannot do roommates. I was like, I need to live alone. I lived in like a tiny little shoe box. And then from my two like very back-to-back relationships, Sean into Jason, then like it's been a minute since I've lived by myself. Right. But I mean, by myself a lot.

lot. Well, we're doing shared custody of the dogs. Do you split them off? It's always two and two and oh. Do you ever just have one? They stay together. Yeah, they're absurd with each other. They like, cannot be apart. Okay. That's fair. Yeah. So then I'm like, I love being alone, but at nighttime in a new house is bea-skiawe. It's a house. Yeah. I've never felt more safe in New York in my apartment building with a doorman. And I felt so, I slept like so easy. Like I sleep better here like overall, but just in terms of being scared. Yeah. I'm like a house is so scary there's all these entrances oh my gosh and the noises the noises my house makes i'm like kevin and the movie home alone when like the fireplace is like yelling at me and i'm like

that is me and i hear this noise noises are unbelievable it's just i live by the beach and so like it just creaks so much um from like i don't know it's amazing it's just amazing house but it's terrifying you live by the beach i'm not like well i listen it takes me like six minutes together it takes a few minutes but i live more at the beach than actually it's like yeah oh my god I'll hear these noises, and I'm like, Raina, these are the same noises. You've heard every day for 365 days. Even as adults, we get scared like little kids. Totally.

It's kind of cute. But then, like, you watch documentaries like that. Oh, I know. I'm not. My fears are not in valid. I do this to myself. I also fall asleep to Grey's Anatomy every night and then think I have brain tumor every day. Every single day, I have diagnosed myself with something I've watched on Grey's Anatomy the night before.

It's so bad I've watched curb before bed most nights My favorite one was The Michael J. Fox one Have you seen that one? I don't know What is old? Do you know what season is that?

I don't know what season is Not the current ones But he like He thinks that Michael J. Fox hates him and Michael J. Fox blames everything on his Parkinson's He's like no man I'm just shaking my head

And then he like invites him over to his apartment And he hands him a soda And he opens and it like goes to his face He's like you shook this up Before you gave it to me He goes no man It's Parkinson's just Parkinson's. and he like totally pokes fun at himself and it's this whole like bit back and forth

it's so funny i need to watch i've just i started like later in life and now i'm going back and watching old seasons oh it's so good and we like we've hung out with larry and it's just like what you hung out with larry we're on a first name basis with larry david yeah he said we were how um i know his wife and um so we have spent a little bit time are you trying to act casual right now she is trying to act casual okay because this is big i don't like to say too much yeah like they're private people or whatever but but that's so cool It's so cool. You're a long-time friends with her from

Yeah, yeah, from before. Oh, that's cool. But, I mean, when we were like making him laugh, we were like, oh my God, nothing feels better. Write that on your tombstone. Totally. Yes, I would write that on. When it wasn't made him laugh, yeah.

I like, group FaceTime my dad and my brother, and I was like, you don't even understand what just happened. You don't understand. That is, people would do weird things to be in the same room as him, let alone make him laugh. To make, like, genuine. I would be like, I'm the funniest person alive. I'm quitting my whole career because if I made Larry David laugh,

I have peaked. We did it. I have peaked. Yes. And he's so nice and genuine. And he's like, is that character but not. You know, he's not that. Right.

He's like a really kind of person. That's like a dramatized version of him. But he is that like annoyed kind of vibe. And he's just, he's exactly what you would think in like the best way. Would he ever come on your podcast? I don't think so. No. Just for him to come on and do pretty good.

Pretty pretty pretty good. I would pay any amount of money. Yeah. And we could retire. We could ask. I feel like a lot of my listeners do listen. But for those who don't, how would you explain your podcast? It is a comedy show about.

about sex dating and relationships. That's like the short, you know, like tag. But we really have heard over the years that people find it to be a podcast about the relationship you have with yourself and also like our relationship with each other. And people go crazy for our friendship stuff. Yeah. Things like, you know, self-improvement, things like that, finding yourself and career. And it still stays in that dating sex relationship vein. And of course, we want to make people laugh. But we really kind of, it's just kind of relationships as a whole. I was scrolling through your podcast stuff and I love the making the list like should you make a list for finding a partner have you done that do you have a list yeah so actually it was her idea to do the

episode and then I did it as an exercise and I just based on how she had done it and just thinking about what worked really well for me in the past and what weren't really poorly and I loved the experience and I made a list of over 40 qualifications and like we talked about I started four or five that were really important we did some stuff that was we talked about like nice to have versus need to have so like I would love to have somebody six three I guess I don't need it I guess but it was a really nice exercise to just check in with yourself and say this is what I'd like to find in the world right well I made one in like August 22 and at that point I was starting to get into this like I really want a partner really right I feel ready I feel like I have the energy to dedicate to this

and the desire and then I really made it my goal for like 2023 like I really feel like I manifested it And when I made that list, I was sitting now with a guy friend. It was just like a fun exercise. We did over drinks. And he was big, very funny. He was like, be as shallow as you want. Like, let's do height first. Let's do this.

Let's do this. Yeah. And there was still some qualities that had more depth. But it really was like all across the board. It was like 29 things. And I really did forget about it. And then I met my now boyfriend. And we've been together eight months.

But like, I don't know, maybe four or five months in. I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, remember the list. I like literally forgot. And I was like, I was like, kind of like scared to look. Like, I was like, what was on that list? And I was like, brazen for impact. I was like, what if he's not? Right.

But I didn't care. I was like in it. I was in love with him. But then I pulled it out and he was like 28 of the 29 things. It was pretty crazy. Like to the exact, like physical of, like, it was pretty nuts. There is something powerful about writing something down that you want. And like putting it into the universe.

Yes. And then not like the fact that you weren't like, you know, like not holding it out and like taking it to the date and being like, okay. But like actually just like, yeah. putting the energy of it out. Absolutely. And then going back and being like, holy shit. Right. Yeah.

And people's feedback on it was like, we got very little, we asked our audience, do you think this is a good exercise? And we got very little nose. Right. But somebody said, you know, I don't, I don't think it's fair to, like, make a list of qualifications for your partner. And I don't think of it like that. I think of it as like, manifestation is less spiritual to me and more of just like

how you show up in the world. So if you say to yourself today, like, I want to find somebody with these qualifications, then you can go fish with the right pole for the. those things. Yeah. Yeah. And that's all it is to me. I write out everything that I want. Right. Like goals, relationship, like how I want to be, how I want to show up and how I want to feel in the world. Like I feel like writing it down is like the first step to putting it out there. Yeah. So it's like, it's more of, I don't know, I think it's like a healthy practice to do. Yeah. So you're not like holding somebody to a standard where you're like, you must hit these requirements, you know? Yeah. Like

make it and then like give it up to God. Yeah. Yeah. They don't like. Like, you don't, it doesn't, and if you find somebody that they're not on a list, like, my point is like, there are probably other things you never even thought to put on a list. They're probably more than, I don't know. So I get that. We really had a fun time with that episode. Yeah. Was that recently? Yeah.

Yeah. I feel like people could go back and listen to it and like take a lot away from it because I always did like a negotiable, non-negotiable. That feels a little more harsh. But like, I don't think so. You don't? I feel like the top should be those like deal breakers. Yeah. So you stay true to yourself in terms of the stuff that really matters.

Yeah. Yeah. I think the partner that you choose in your life, especially if you want children, will be the most important decision you ever make in the entire world. So why should you not put all the energy and thought into that in the world? We would do it for a job. Here's where my problem is. I change so much in like five years of what I want. Change the list every year.

Okay. Did I just change the guy every year? Because that's what I seem to be doing right now. I'm like, no, you didn't do that year. You two really long-term, special, wonderful relationships. And just because they end does not mean. weren't successful. I'm sure you learned a lot. I learned so much. I always said that about the relationship that came out of the bachelor, like specifically the bachelorette, because everyone's

like, oh, those relationships never end or never work and they always end. And I'm like, I actually think three and a half years is such a success in that world. A hundred percent. Yeah. Like, I think of it as in like dog years, like bachelor world years. Like, I feel like that was a really, three and a half years is a long time to be with somebody. Even outside of the franchise. It's like they don't last in the franchise. Yeah, they don't last anywhere. Relationships are hard. Yeah.

We can't speak on that enough. It's like just because a divorce happened or a relationship end, it doesn't make it a failure. Like you were in a relationship for years. Right. It's meaningful. Yeah. It always puts me in a place that I know I needed to be. Like I am in such a, like I wouldn't have been where I am right now without those relationships in so many ways.

So you've been with him for eight months. How did you meet? I was prepping for this earlier I knew it was going to come up I mean it's a lot I was prepping next to you're like in the mirror I'm like so this is how we met well I could tell the story

you know sedated I just like it's second nature but it's just it's long and we tell it in full at our live shows and things like that but I mean the abbreviated version is he came to a show a girl's got each show in 2021 and he came with some friends and he came with his girlfriend at the time

and he had this like you know loose crush on me like in like a hall pass like a celeb crush way which I'm like I'm not famous enough for that but you know what I'm saying like the joke is like I shouldn't be your hall pass this theater's only a thousand people like this is not Taylor Swift at Sofi you know

That's so sweet though that's romantic And we did some crowd work and talk to him and everything And of course I'm not trying to get in the middle of anyone's relationship Like we're girls girls obviously that goes out saying But they did end up breaking up And we he DMed, you know, post-breakup, like, he had DM me way before. Like, I joke that he, like, did open with, he shot in a DM, like, before he was with

that, that partner. But, like, over the years, just, like, casual, you know, flirty. He's, you know, responding hard eyes, this and that. But I was, I don't know. I don't really know this guy. You know, he was hot. He was tall. He had a sexy voice at the show. But whatever, he also kind of seems like an asshole. Like, he lives in Boston. You know, obviously those two go together. Yeah. And he's, he could be really sweet, but he's from Boston, so he just sounds like a dick. Yeah. That's really true. It's this whole, like, the asshole thing. We went back to Boston this last May, 2023, like, you know, a year and a half since, like,

we met at the first show. And I just, like, slid into the DMs. Like, we'd been DMing, like, who knows, weeks prior. And I just slid in and was like, you know, are you coming to the show? Are you still traumatized from the last time? And he was like, no, but can I take you out? And, like, you know, one thing led to another. And we've, like, been together ever since.

But it was kind of, I was just thinking maybe we would hook up. Like, I was like, I'm in town. This is not going further than. I was like off birth control which I was hornier than ever like those things are such a mind like that those you know the way that correlation goes and so I was just like on the road you know safely since I'm off birth control and I just like kind of shot my shot back and I think he was like what like he was like wait seriously like he like jokes that I was like the way I like called my sister and was like Ash fast wants to meet up you know like that's so cute I

It was so cute. It was special. Can I saw what you said in the car the next morning? Yes. I didn't know what was going to happen either, and she got in the car. We all went out after the show. Her and him left. I went to bed, whatever.

She gets in the car with us and her assistant, Tessa, and she looked at me and she's like, I'm sad. And I was like, that's okay. I f*** the guy. Who cares? But it didn't work out well. Then who gives a shit? And she was like, you know, I'm sad because I like him.

Yeah. I get that feeling. Because now we live in L.A. You know, like, it's, and it's also, and is he still in Boston? Yes, I was like, what the fuck is that? I lived in New York for six years. Like, it would have been so easy.

So we have been doing the distance thing, but, yeah, and I made the mistake of telling him that cute little story. And now he just brings it up all the time. He was like, don't you miss me? Aw. She was just like, I'm sad. And I was like, well, sex isn't good with everybody. Don't worry about it.

And I think I said, I was like, I just think I'm going to miss him. Like, I just knew I had a connection. Yeah. And everything kind of moved pretty quickly after. Not quick enough. he's in Boston. I know. Yeah. We're figuring it out. What is your like tip for people doing long distance? Oh, God. I feel like I should have prepped for this question, too. Like, I mean, it's not really a tip, but I feel as though, like if you both are really prioritizing each other and really both want to make it

work, like it just will work out. You know, I used to think when my favorite long distance relationship before they were no longer long distance with Heather McMahon and Jeff, her husband. And we had her on two, and I feel like that was kind of her answer. She was like, I don't know. We just knew we were going to be together so it just worked out yeah I'm this is a long time we've been apart I'm going there this weekend and it sucks yeah we do all the things we face time all the time we're in constant communication I never we share location I'd we have so much trust between us and we both really you know we'll sit down and pop up in our laptops and like plan you know Q1 with our travel and our flights and we just are both so organized relationship too I know like I was

like are we doing her like Q1 planning tonight I keep asking her like can you send me your calendar I need it oh yeah that's I gave my girlfriend my calendar my calendar recently because she's like I can't keep up and I'm like oh here you can have access. We need to be coordinated. But it's just we're both super committed to it. So it's like, tell me about trusting someone and also having their location on. Those are separate things to me. We just don't, I don't know.

I have freaked out about it. Not for you. Why? Because you asked somebody for it and they said no? No. I would never ask someone for it because it makes me feel like I'm not trusting them. I don't know how it just kind of happened. It happened like when we were needing to meet up with me.

You guys are in like such a healthy relationship. if you're like, I just want to make sure you're safe. Yeah, and you like worries about me sometimes, but it's not, I don't even, this is my own shit. I just kind of, no, but I understand, I'm curious about it. I thought it was a weird thing that couples did before I did it. And it just happened one day. I think we were trying to find each other at an airport, honestly. Like, it was a weird place where he landed.

He's notoriously bad at airports. And, like, when he lands, he navigates the world very well. And, but then we just left it on or something. I don't know, it wasn't like a discussion. It just sort of happened. And I felt a little weird about it at first. And then I'm like, yeah, whatever. Yeah.

I think every relationship, every couple is like a one size fits one. There's so true. There's people who like, I don't, I wouldn't have trusted them. And so I wanted their location all the time and I'd be checking it. And like, you have to ask yourself like, why do I want this? And there's other people that like you haven't, it's just not a big deal. It's a safety thing almost. Like he just wants to know where you are and that you're safe at night when you get home.

Yeah. Especially doing long distance. He's not doing it to either to control you either. You know what I mean? I could see there to be an aspect of that. And you're an involved self-aware queen. You wouldn't be with somebody like that. Right.

And it's funny because at first I was like, I don't know. I kind of like to tell him about my day instead of him knowing I'm already at Raina's or this and that. And then I just let that go. But sometimes it's helpful because like the other day, I was like, babe, where is it a shell gas station around? Because we have these gift cards. And I was going to find a shell. Like, I was like, I always see him. And he's able to like, he's really so quick on stuff like that.

And he really helps me navigate life. And he literally was like there's a shell up on the right. Somebody gave it to us. A lot nation gave it to us. But I feel like all jazz. I'm, if somebody said to me, are you jealous? It's a, it depends on the partner. Like, I, so true.

I can't imagine welcoming a partner to my life at this age at this point that would make me feel jealous, but I've been, you could ask every person I've ever dated and they'd have a different answer to is she jealous, you know? And I think that, like, the rules are different for every partner. Like, I've had partners where I've trusted them so deeply that if they said to me, like, my, a girl, a good girlfriend of mine and I are going to take a road trip, I'd be like, have fun. Yeah.

Other people, I'd be like, the who you are. Right. Yeah. Oh, that's cute. You think you're going to do that? that's such a good point because I always thought I was just a jealous person but I was just young and had dated the worst kind of men and so I was so insecure in my relationship after the bachelorette I was so insecure because he was insecure and I was insecure and we've both been jaded by other people but like now I'm like I don't think I would I don't think I have a jealous bone in my body for like right depends on the partner yeah Esther Pearl talked about that in our show and I loved it she talked about like relationship this figure eight and it's like I do a thing and you react to me doing this thing and then I've reacting to your reaction of this thing. And, like, we are in this, like, inner play back and forth that, like, forever.

I wouldn't like this with other partners, you know, for better or for worse. Right. Like, my, and I'm older and I have so much more information. I've grown up, but, like, my current self wouldn't even recognize myself in my last relationship. Oh, absolutely not. I was, like, busting in his house, like, where is she? Yeah. He was, like, recording a podcast.

He was like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm, like, a cool, man, busting through the house. seeing and heard right now because yes that's say i always like i even said to my therapist when i started dating jason before i was like what if i have my meltdowns what if i go crazy and she goes what if you don't though like this could be just a different partnership and then i never went crazy and i was like i had that exact same moment i was like when's the other shoe going to drop when am when are we going to start fighting yeah and like hasn't happened yeah because i'm not nice still so traumatized from your past absolutely everybody is sticks with you like i'm still

I'm traumatized for my parents' divorce as like a, like, and I'm a grown woman who does therapy. Like, it's still, things, like, get trapped in your body. And every person affects you differently, like, even friendships. Like, I have some friends that would say I'm a little more combative and I'll fight with them. I have other friends that are like, she would never, ever raise her voice at me ever. And I have other friends that are like, she has ripped me to shreds. Yeah. And that's because of how I react to that one person.

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Quince.com slash fine. Like when I think about you, too, what comes to mind as being badass, self-aware of bitches. That's what I said. Self-love, empowerment. I have all this written down, and I feel like regardless of the fact that, like, you're in a relationship. I feel like you guys are both mindful about being in a relationship with yourself first. Like, I feel like you've done all, like, even the guests that you have on your podcast,

you know, to like gain knowledge and learn from other people and professionals. Am I making sense? Yeah. Yeah. It's really nice. No, yeah. It's something that I think I'm like trying to. really focused on too but I'm like at the end of the day I love relationships like I'm always

going to get into another another relationship I just like it I like partnership I like a long time I like yeah so do you have any tips on how you can make yourself a priority regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship for the listeners I mean I'm not in a relationship so it's easier for me to make myself a priority but Ashley and I obviously the show is about dating relationship sex but like like she said so much is it about your relationship with yourself and so I always check with myself and say, like, have I built a life I'm really proud of? Am I doing activities I'm excited about? Am I doing activities I'm excited about? Am I good with my family, my friends? Do I have plans coming up that I'm excited about? And then if all that falls into place, like, how nice to

find a person like that to be in a relationship with? And I don't know, I don't like myself all day every day. I was like kind of upset about something the other day. I cried a little bit at night and I woke up. It was the new day. You know? I think having self-love doesn't mean loving everything about yourself every single day. No. So I have moments where I'm like, I don't like who I'm appearing as and tomorrow you just change yeah so I don't know if I hope that's a good answer no it is yeah it's I love thinking of sleep as a reset yeah like it really is I feel like I'm crazy though about dreams I feel like we go into like other realms and I feel like our body truly like resets and let's go of certain things totally for you to wake up for a new day absolutely yeah

and then you know we go to bed scared at night and we wake up we're not scared anymore yeah it's true every morning I wake up and I'm like I didn't get murdered I know but I know but I I know exactly I'm like made it another night but also don't you kind of wake up and you're like god she is so embarrassing like the night before you're like everything's fine 365 days he's fine in the daylight and then you're like last night I had a knife in the bed in the middle of the night the dark intrusive thoughts that come into my brain at three in the morning and then I wake up and I go she's so silly like that's I do I get embarrassed for like 3 a.m. Caitlin like she like she's like so who is she she's such a scaredy cat

and like so insecure and then like morning katelyn and the daylights and the birds are like pussy that's so true and i was talking about this with stasio on my last podcast and how like traditional self-care like getting a massage blah blah blah face masks but i think of so many different things as self-care and like therapy or i was telling her like even sometimes getting a little drunk is like a self-care moment for me at home masturbation like masturbation big self-care move let's talk about it well we brought you some toys we brought you sex toys I know I saw you two come in with the bag and I go I know what that is because I got my mojo back recently and so I'm really excited okay perfect yeah so I'm very excited well you want to talk about your

self-care I'll talk about five only later but you want to talk about your self-care I mean this is different like non-traditional self-care advice here like whatever yeah like everybody of course is different but what do you do I mean I think you have to give yourself permission to relax sometimes and like be like just a piece of shit i have to give her permission to relax she won't do it yes thank you she will not do it like really all of us are really like entrepreneurial we work for ourselves you know we work really hard and rena has helped me with that of being like you can you own the company you can just stop working today she's like ranna has helped me to be later this actually will say stuff to me like today is the day that I don't work that hard

and it will be 5 p.m and she will still be and I'm like but she also do this I think sometimes, and a lot of people have a better, have an easier time of checking out and maybe their job, you know, they just leave it at the office and they don't really have to always be surrounded by the, you know, life that they built for themselves. Like, we are really proud of what we built. But, like, I think I've had to learn to be like, you can just lay on the couch, you know, and like watch, binge watch something. Yeah. And, like, really be okay with that. Yeah. And then for me, like, it's always just, it's like, I don't know how exercise sounds so lame for self-care, but that's what resets my, like, brain.

Oh, I'm like yoga, Peloton. Like, it's not that I'm so excited to do it. Right. You just know what it does for you afterwards. That's, I've talked about this a million times, but I was so sick a couple weeks ago and just not moving my body for one week. I was so depressed. Like, crippling depression couldn't stop crying everything. And then I realized, oh my God, I haven't moved my body.

Took my dogs out for a walk, came back, fainted. Because I just like late. I actually fainted. I was okay. I was glad you're okay. But I realized that just. like getting out for five minutes breathing fresh air moving my body like i like heavy lifting weights like like i love it love it but like if you don't like that moving your body for five minutes going on a 10

minute walk a walk wonders you have to and because i've had so many boob jobs so i've been like relegated to my home for like weeks at a time like the last time i said actually i was depressed i googled it and it said like patients that have to be home for a long period of time like seven eight days start to like experience symptoms of depression because you're not going anywhere and i did this thing I'm not really going to talk that much about it, but, like, I sent this guy, this message, and I, it did not turn out really well. And I said to Ashley, like, it was, like, mean-spirited?

Like, I don't know who did this. Who was I when I said that? Yeah. And I was talking to her about it, and I was like, this is so not like me. Yeah. And it was just because I was a shut-in for a week. Yes.

I think, one thing, I think about my brother a lot. Because my brother has just, I mean, he has a high level of stress and that he, you know, runs a company. He has two babies, you know, like, they have their kids. like he just got a lot going on he provides for his family and he just has like a high level of stress and managing employees and things like that and he just feels like family time like resets him like nothing else and that sounds kind of that doesn't that's not relatable to everybody's people like families they hate and things like that but i don't think you it is sometimes like seeing

a person or a family member or something that like resets like he always say it he'll always say like after i've gone there or we've spent time together as a family he's like i needed that so much i was like at such a high level of like stress and anxiety so i like that he can realize that and like he knows when he needs to like get it in yes i feel like that when i'm with your family oh that's so nice they're just really loving my mom she's a healer yeah they're really loving and wonderful are your mom's a healer i just i mean emotionally she feels very healing to be she really does yeah she's just very like chill and hippie and you know oh i love that i love ashley's family and i mean i like to cook a lot i really i like to do a recipe that

requires a lot of chopping so I really do you get your rage out. I like the way you are you about of chopping? You are you about of chopping? This is my confession. Are you like a candle dinner? I mean kind of I've never learned how to chop. Which is crazy because she cooks every day. I've never learned. You cook every day but how do you chop? Give us a visual. I don't even know like just YouTube it you'll figure out.

It's fine. I don't have a technique. I'm just like going. I'll teach you just I like it. I mean some people aren't good at it. Yeah. One time I like I had a friend's watch watch it happen and she was like oh my God. I didn't know this. I had a friend. watch it. I cut you off anyway. So you like to chop. I like to chop and I like to turn on a podcast. I have a very specific requirement. I like it to be like not too heavy but I want to like learn something. So Caitlin your show is perfect for that. I love Nick Bial's show. I love our show but I don't listen to it a lot of myself. I like in the room. I like comments by celebs. I like I don't really

learn that much for them. They just talk shit on celebrity gossip. But I like I like stuff where I like I can learn like a little bit but it's not so heavy. It's not like a political. I'm not going to turn on the daily when I want to relax. Right. You know. But Raina just started reading. So this is also her self-care. Oh, yeah. Again, when I had my third boob job, I was just at the house. And so I crushed, like, all of Colleen Hoover's, like, entire catalog in a week. Oh, my gosh.

Colleen Hoover is my favorite. Yes, I read 25, 30 books last year. I'm going to try. Oh, that's amazing. It's June. That's a lot. That's a lot of books. I know.

That's like three a month. I'm three this month. Like Raina just lays outside with her titty's out and reads a book. That's her self-care. That's nice. Wait. A backyard now. You just, tities out?

My house is fully, like, hedged. You can't see inside. So I do get naked and I sit outside in the back. That sounds like very free. I sun my vagina and I breathe. That's good self-care too, but you don't want to burn, but you can tan your taint a little bit. Tan the taint? We all, like, got sun in our pussies on my birthday trip.

I'm going to talk about what happened, Ashley. Tell me everything. This is my embarrassing story. It is like, it's a thing. And like, you don't, like, Shailene Woodley talked about it. And it's like, you know, you've seen it on TikTok and stuff of just like sunny. We say tan your. entertain as a joke, but sunning your perennium and just getting like some sun.

My algorithm sucks. I've never seen this. But you need to be careful. Doctors don't recommend it, but I'm not doctor. Live your truth. But, you know, that's very sensitive skin that doesn't get a lot of sun. So you don't want to like get skin cancer on your labia, you know, but really just kind of like a spread equal and to get some sunny baby. What does it do? It just kind of glows your insides. It feels nice and warm because you never get sun there. And then you feel like a glow from within. I got to tell you what happened, though, on after his birthday. I see, it haunts me this day. We were going to like sun our perenniums at Ashley's birthday.

We're all staying this house in Cabo. There was like 12 of us. And three of us were like, we're going to go up onto the balcony where the guys can't see us below. We're going to sun our perennium. So me and our two girlfriends, not Ashley, get on our backs,

butt-naked, happy baby, just hug your knees up to your stomach and just butt holes, vaginas in the air. No underwear. But none of us are looking at each other where like our heads are sort of towards each other. None of us can see each other, right? Ashley walks out on the balcony

and she can just see down straight into my vagina hole. All of our vagina holes. I feel closer to you girls that I ever have. I can't believe you saw me like that. What do you mean you can't believe she saw you like that? You were laying in the happy baby outside while she was inside and coming outside. I don't think they expected my vantage point to just be like straight into their bundles.

I'm like a drone. And how long do you do this for? Like five minutes? Like minutes. Yeah. Not too long. And, you know, you want to put a little sunscreen on there. Again, I just don't want any of be coming to me and being like, I have skin cancer on my pussy now.

It's not an everyday everyday thing either. No, it's like sporadically. Yeah, yeah. It's like a once in a blue moon. Sparingly, five minutes. I'm trying this. So anyway, tan your taint, final answer. Okay.

Self care. Some people do face masks, some people tan their taint. Wow, I'm going to try. I'm sick of getting spray tan up there anyways. Too much. Yeah, exactly. Let's continue on the taint talk. okay you have your own sex toy company yeah tell me about this we launched vibes only in june of

2022 it's a premium sex toy brand your branding is hilarious you love it yes not that i'm with jason anymore but you sent me a shirtless photo of him right we sent spank bank material when we did like our original like boxes to people so we like took everyone's partner and like framed a like sexy photo it it was very funny i liked it anyways go on all the toys are bluetooth enabled it connects our app. Wow. It's got an app. We're a tech company too.

Cool. Women in tech. And you can have someone control at long distance within the app. Yeah, which is fun for long distance relationships. Wait, that's really cool. Ashley can tell you about this toy. It's really special. Well, I think we might have sent you the Raina before, which is our number one seller.

And then we're on version three of it. So every year we release a new color. So we did our 2022, 23, and we just released the new color in the Raina 2024. And it's like a wand on one end and a side. sucker on the other end. So like an air pole sucks your click kind of vibe. Yeah. But we brought you the Lucy, which is like our most petite toy. It's like a bullet and has different silicone sleeves to put on it. So you can really have like four vibe airs and one essentially. And I think we brought you some suck and blow gel too. Yeah. Vanilla frosting. Yeah. Yum. And it's just I mean,

get ready to love a BJ. I mean, I can't even believe it. I'm like always itching to suck a dick now. Stop. Because it's so yummy. What like obviously it's edible. Is it sugar free? It's paraben-free, sugar-free, it's vegan. It's the same texture as lube. You just put like one little drop. And it just, it's also a valve of safe. So you can put it on a penis or vagina. Oh my God.

Thank you. It's delightful. And that is our favorite, that is our best-selling flavor. Yeah. Delicious. Thank you. It's yummy. It makes your breath nice.

Also, and it activates the saliva glands in your mouth. So it really does make for like a juicier, yeah. A juicier blowjob. I gave like a peppermint paddy blowjob. for Christmas and like that was one of the gifts for my that I got my boyfriend and yeah I'm like ready spread them babe this is your fourth gift Merry Christmas I was just like God this tastes so good Wow yeah that is that's quite something we sell so much of it Caitlin like when we look at our numbers right and I laugh we're like the amount of dick sucking gel we suck yeah that's out like a thousand just flew out the door

people just go crazy men should really be bowing down to you guys yeah and they should be buying it too because You know, we think that the vagina is, like, naturally flavored itself. We don't need it, but, like, you also can use it on... The vagina is naturally flavored, like, butterscotch? Well, everybody's got their own. That's what I think mine tastes like, buttercotch. You ever taste it? I've tasted mine.

Of course I have. Sometimes it doesn't have a flavor or a smell, and I get upset. You know, I do. What do you mean? You're upset about it? Sometimes I'm just like, what's going on there? And then other times, it does have a smell, and I'm like, that's awesome. But what would it be?

I'm going to chick-fil-a nuggets. Oh, chick-fil-a nuts. It's too savory for me. Yeah, that's like, I want sweet, not savory. Chick-fil-A nugs. Can you imagine? Or maybe just a Chick-fil-A sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now we're talking. Now we're talking. Your vagina tastes like a spicy mayo. Chick-fil-A is going to send me a season to sis. They're like, ma'am, could you not? Yeah, right. They're going to send you merch. They're going to send you like sauce.

Taco seasoning, actually, flavor. This is not very Christian. I want mine to taste like whatever that is. Vanil frosting. It can now. Well, now I will. Just skirt it all over it. Yeah.

Now I need to find someone good down there Good I'm sure that you have tons of people that would love to Yeah do you think our sex drive gets more with age Like we get more sex drive the older we get as women Women's are due no Well I mean there's so many other factors Because I could talk about this forever in terms of birth control

Because getting off the pill like change my sex drive Like monumentally In a bad way or good For the better Like I had one Yeah Yeah I was like oh Welcome to the world

Right pussy yeah um so it's so like because then you're like oh and now I'm just you know at risk for getting pregnant it's like this I know god is not a woman that's the most thing about women's bodies but anyway

I mean I think that you know everything's going to decline eventually but you really women don't have anything to worry about if everything's kind of like working as it should normally for them in their body in their 30s 40s 50s I mean I have been meaning to

this, but Cosmo just did a whole study in women after 60, sex after 60. Oh, really? So, like, Lisa Rinna was on the cover, and they just, like, I love that they're talking about, like, older women of that age and their sex lives and, you know, tons of quotes from women being like, I've never had better sex in my 60s and my sex drive is up and I masturbate all the time. And you definitely lose lubrication as you age. And we sell a great lube for that.

But I don't, women, it's not really, I think that's more of an issue you hear about more with men is their sex drive declining and so that's another reason why I like an older woman younger man relationship which I'm in but there's how much younger is he seven years oh yeah yeah it's not huge but nice yeah yeah it's a nice age gap yeah that is a nice age gap especially because he's in his 30s yeah oh god yeah I'm not going to be this yeah we can't go under 29 yeah I have so I exclusively go 28 but I'm working on it that's your move I feel like I'm just attracted to all these 28 year olds but it's not who I want to like end up up with and I do think sometimes age is just a number it is like another like one size fits one

kind of thing I think her boyfriend her partner is like an older soul a little bit more his friends are older he's not out getting fucked up all the time and party which would be totally normal for somebody who's 33 totally not yeah and then you meet other people who are 45 that act like they're 22 so that's so true different between everybody it is but the sex drive thing also just to anyone listening that's like I don't have a sex drive anymore like don't just throw in the towel and, like, chalk it up to age. Like, really explore what's going on there, like, hormonally and talk to your doctor, talk to another doctor, you know, really see what's going on because we shouldn't be women

in our, you know, 40s, 50s, even, like, I don't have a libido at all anymore. Right, right. You know, like, I don't think you should ever just totally give up and be like, oh, I guess he's too old now. I think those people need to try sex toys. I'm in my sex toy era. Are you? We love to do that.

Yes. That's why I got excited when you guys were coming in with a golden bag. I was like, I just am, and it came out of nowhere, but I'm in it. I'm in it. That's my era I'm in. Do you find that when you have a partner that you're like sleeping next to or if you have like more consistent sex, like because you have had a long-term relationship? Like, do you masturbate more or less?

Does it vary? Does it have any effect on it for you? Because the reason I ask, I tend to masturbate more when I'm having more sex. Yes. I feel like the more like sexually active I am, the more I want it. And when I go through dry spells, I'm like, eh. I know. Isn't that crazy?

Recently I've had to like, remind you. myself to masturbate because I've just been like less horny I know I just I'm we all these toys I have like a pressure trove next to my bed you probably have like a tickle trunk next to the book trunk yes but there's so many benefits to it it just makes your day better makes you sleep better it makes me wake up better and all those things yes it really is it's your body's meant to do that yes maybe we should be masturbating while we're taint tanning oh I masturbate out there all the time constantly do you really constantly it's my own backyard Wait.

What? I feel, so again. You can masturbate it in your yard? Do you have neighbors? Not in the yard. Do you have neighbors? Yes, I've won. But again, are you a quiet masturbator?

I have hedges around my whole house. Are you quiet? And it's private. It's very private. It's a big backyard. Yeah, but they hear the. Oh, no, I go, I just go manual on them outside. Oh, just the fingies.

My bedroom's upstairs and then all the way in the back of the house. It's when this is in the moot strikes. It sounds like the hedge clippers. You're like, are the gardeners here today? Oh, there's just right up. I like, unlock the gate. I'm like, wait, I think the gardener is. It's Rayna.

Just go into town. I do fingers only. No toys when I'm outside in the backyard. Oh, my God. Wait, that's so fun. You are really brave. You are really brave and also like. Because there's so many delivery guys.

Yeah. I mean, the gate is locked. No one's ever caught me. There's the UPS guy's senior clip and I know it. I need to be in like a. dark room yeah i'm i'm okay i do i swing my arm over my eyes a lot if i that's so dramatic it blocks the set out like you're like an old renaissance woman like on a painting couch what and so you're not watching anything you're just using the old imagination oh do you have to watch every time yes

a hundred percent of the time you are porn except for when i was in the bachelor mansion had to use the imagination i'm so sorry yeah i love masturbating to like old memories or new memories. I love it. Oh wow and I'm like in it all they like I can masturbate a lot of like I can masturbate to a lot of stuff like I feel inspired by a lot of stuff recently I've been masturbating to the thought of somebody going down on me I feel like I'm just you going down on you somebody else going down oh I was like you that's amazing porn category narcissism yeah that's what I was going to say I think that's under the category of narcissism that's your sexual fantasy you want to eat your

own listening. Wow, that's very impressive though. Thank you. Well, now I'm feeling a little bit ashamed of myself. No, no. We always say to just like mix it up. You should we do, I don't like watch a lot of porn. I feel like a prude sometimes because I don't watch a lot of porn. I'm such a basic bitch for lesbian porn. Well, I've always loved lesbian porn. That's great. That's the only thing I watch. We actually heard a comedian talking about us on stage the other night and I just, I always thought like why was I so into lesbian porn and I wasn't really into women. Like, but, but, I found straight porn to be a little violent and not my experience in the bedroom. You found it to be violent?

Straight porn. Straight porn. Yeah. Sorry. Yes. That's how I feel. Yes. It's just the way that men are just pounding on a woman.

It's so aggressive and it doesn't turn me on and it makes me flinch. Right. So much of it is just, it's made for men. It's not really. Totally. Yeah, I'm not into it. Yeah. So that's why I think I really didn't really like straight porn.

Like on, I've quoted super bad twice today now. But, great. How did I miss it? No. this was on a different podcast today. I was like, I wouldn't flag that. But remember when he's like, plus, have you ever seen PNV?

He's like, no, it's not for me. You ever seen Dick go into the vagina? It's not for me. I'm like, that's me. Right. That is so funny. I quote it every day. You do?

Yeah. I quote, is your boyfriend a movie quotter? Yeah, he is. And he, super bad is like one that we, like, yesterday he sent me the like, yeah, like a man dick. Like he was like, the funny thing about my, what does he say? The funny thing about my back is located on my dick. Yeah, like, you said that yesterday.

That's the, actually has a photo, is that the photo when I call you? Oh, you were the two microphones? Yeah, that's your inspo from Jonah Hill. So have you told me your confession then? Is that, um, tan your vagina? Oh, that's a good confession. That is a good confession. Well, I had a story.

I'll keep it brief, but this is an exclusive. Yeah. For off the vine. This is something so, it's like a confession and like semi-embarrassing. It was something that happened with Raina and Tessa. I haven't shared this. I've tried to block it out of my memory. We don't know about it.

They don't know it. so we were it's not that salacious but like I feel like well I'll just get into it so we were touring this was like earlier in 2023 yeah we landed and I don't even know some city maybe it was like milwaukee like late at night you know like coming from the west coast to a lot of our tour dates was like an all day affair you know like play like layovers the whole thing so we land and we had to get on a shuttle at the airport to like go get a rental car or whatever like there's nothing worse than like traveling all day and then you're getting on an airport shuttle bus the worst You know, you got to lift your suit. Like, you're like, you just want to be in a hotel or wherever. And we're all loading our stuff on. And this bus driver, they're already like, this bus driver goes to me, he goes, he said, are you her mom? About Raina, me, Raina's mom.

No. Not Tessa. I could be Tessa's mom. I could be Tessa's teen mom. Raina, my best friend. She's two years younger than me. And here's the thing. And if somebody makes them, like this happened to me one time in the mall with my friend and we laughed about it for years.

But he doubled down. I clearly was not happy with that. I was choking back tears. Listen, today I don't think it would bother me. At that time, I was like still single. I'm like, do I look like a mother of a 38 year old? You know, like, and I was like, I was like, having feelings about turning 40 last year, you know, so I was like, up about it. I was like, are you serious?

Like, I got in his face, I was like, sir. And he goes, what? I just thought. I was like, can you stop? He was, like, doubling down on it. And, like, I just thought you were her. He's like, did you not hear me? Yes.

And I was like, can you just drive the bus? And I'm like, I'm having self-talk where I'm like, stop laughing. Stop laugh. Holocaust. Anything. Think of anything to stop laughing. And Tess is over here, like, trying to hold back. She works for us.

She's like, I don't want to piss off my boss. And Caitlin, I was, it was not funny to me. I haven't spoken about it till since then. Oh, I'm so sorry. It was not funny to her. And honestly, the thing about the being so mad was he was so rude. Like, he, when he doubled down and, like, he's like, what was the point of the question? Like, okay, what if you were there was no follow up?

So, like, to me, I'm like, you clearly have offended a woman of a certain age. Yeah. Keep it moving. You know, like, you thought he would have been like, I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. I'm like, I just thought you were tall. She's short. You know, no.

He was like, what? I just think that you're her mom. I was like, oh, my God. You're like, you. bus driver I like that he tried to explain himself and he's doing just so you know if there was like a part of you that thought I wasn't trying to insult you I was yeah just so we're clear here I'm offending you this other time was like I was my friend Jenny we were standing in line of Victoria's Secret like a long time ago back you know when we were in

the malls shopping at Victoria's Secret and this woman like was looking at Jenny's leggings like they were these really cute kind of like funky leggings and she was like where'd you where'd you get them? those and Jenny didn't hear her so I go she asked you where you got your leggings and I guess I was giving like mom energy like honey tell her where you and I had this like weird like shawl on and this the woman goes oh are you her mom and like I we just we laughed about it forever it was this weirdly innocent mistake because I was serving like mom energy and I was all wrapped up you know and Jenny was wearing like slutty leggings and we she called me mom still to this day

she calls me mom and it was funny but this hurts so bad and to be so fragile on a shuddy at the airport at the end when you are in Milwaukee in the winter by the way it was freezing yeah and you're yes I know that feeling and like they were I could tell that they wanted to joke about it and I was like stop it too soon and you haven't talked about it till right now I didn't know I was going to share this today oh my gosh are you so glad that she cleared the air now we can we can laugh at it we knew she did not think that was funny you've been like over there like trying to she's been holding in this laugh for a very long time I know and In the bus driver's defense, I am very short. Ashley is a foot tall. And she does give, like, I'm in charge of this operation energy. See, take it as, like, bad bitch queen energy. I was, again, I was really had, I struggled with turning 40.

So there was, and, you know, I was single, like, whatever. There's just, the timing was off, you know, like, if it happened tomorrow, I would really laugh. You know, like, he caught me at a bad quarter, you know. I get it. And, but it's just so funny because I was like, I could be tested as amount. could be. I could be. She is like a young cherubic face. She's 23, you know, like, I could be her mom. I could I remember when I was 17. Right, right. And it was like, Rayna. And I didn't look so pretty and youthful that day. It's not like it was like, well, it's an easy mistake. Her skin

looked flawless. She had great hair. I had been on two flights for like 10 hours in the middle of the winter to Milwaukee. It looked like dog shit. The way we walked in that. The way we walked into the Iron Horse Hotel in Milwaukee, we're like drinks immediately. Like they were like with the bars about to shut down. We're like, we don't care. That's so funny. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay.

I get it. It really feels good to get it out. It does feel good to get it. I'm sorry for laughing at you. No, it's okay. Now it's going to love it. Wait, what's your movie where she says, I'm sorry? Oh, me girls.

Yeah. Sorry for laughing. I'm sorry. I told everybody about it after you. Oh, man. Now I want to find out where you live and do. just like fuck with you so bad like hear you out on your balcony i'm just gonna like start throwing stuff at you it'll hit my body i'll be naked yeah that's what i mean we'll hit your third

boob job yeah i love that oh i love having you guys here it's so fun this was so fun i tell you so five years ago when we came on your show and we were like prepping this story to come and actually i'm we're in nashville in this like townhouse and i'm sitting on we're getting ready together i'm sitting in the bathroom on the sink i'm like in the sink doing my makeup. And Ashley tells me this story about peeing her pants in her car. Yeah. And it's become one of my favorite stories she's ever told. She does it on stage. She tells the whole story. I mean, the story can be like a 15-minute story. It's amazing. But the person I ever heard it was when we were going to come on your show. I was kind of like, we were like, not nervous, but we were a big show for

us to go on. And so I was kind of running it by Raina. And she was like, what? I was like, I was going to pee in a sink. I was like, I'm new friends. And she was like, wait, I'm very, I know you told the story, but really quickly, what happened again? I mean, I don't know how much I how much there was that story is so long and it involves me like sleeping with this guy that worked for my dad I don't remember oh yeah but I did like people I mean again like I don't obviously condone drinking and driving but I was like young and stupid and irresponsible and I did I was driving I'd been drinking I was leaving an M&M concert and I did pee my pants in my car while I was driving it yes and I still went home and like changed into another pair of like

wet steel jeans or whatever and like went over to a guy that worked for my dad like it was just a nightmare of a night you didn't shower but also iconic yeah you just feed yourself change your pants and went and then that guy got fired the next day and I was like I'm in business with you this is crazy

it's crazy it was so pretty early on like you could I could have turned back at that point thank God you didn't seriously that's incredible thank you guys for coming on today

oh my gosh this we needed this I'm Caitlin Bristow your session is now ending and if I'm being honest I wouldn't mind a rating a movie You better run. Dive into crime on Pluto TV.

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Pay never. Flight 562 is 12. Oh my gosh. My gosh. Brooke, we're going to miss our flight. We didn't finish the promo. Can we just record it on the plane? I will not be that person.

What if we record it in the bathroom? Ew, no. That is disgusting. Well, we'll just have to go off the cuff and tell everyone about our podcast right now, called Gals on the Go. Well, we are two Gals on the Go. Well, we are two gals constantly on the move with weekly conversations about friendship, navigating your 20s, relationships, trends, and just our exciting, chaotic lives. Brooke Nietzio and Danielle Carolyn, please come to the gate.

Well, I think it's time to board now, but this should be enough, right? Yeah, I'm sure they won't use it. But in case they do, new episodes of gals on the go drop every Wednesday. Find us wherever you get your podcast. Thank you.