Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - @Thebirdspapaya

Episode Date: September 24, 2018

This week Kaitlyn and Clio sit down in a Toronto Hotel room with Sarah Nicole the inspiring mother of three behind @thebirdspapaya. Listen in as Sarah shares her journey through weight loss, into single motherhood, and the value of self love. Tommy John – Go to Tommyjohn.com/VINE for 20% off and free shipping on your first order Express – Go to Express.com and use code 4841 for $25 off when you spend $100 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to Tuesday, off the vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. In the studio, not in the studio. Oh, no, it's going to be a bad podcast. I'm already blowing it. We are in the hotel room with Cleo, who's going to be my co-host. Hello. And Sarah Nicole.

Is that your last name, Nicole? No, it's my middle name. I was married before, so I don't want to have a man's name anymore. Oh, yeah. So I just go by my first and middle. No, I like that. Sarah Nicole. It's pretty.

It's kind of hot. I actually wish I would. went by Caitlin Don anyways wait what is done that my middle name done your middle name yeah your name's done done yeah that's a weird done done's pretty because it stays with you forever like your middle name stay with you forever well I'm gonna make sure my last name stays with me forever too just because I love it good idea and I want it well even if I don't I want it to be like my like if I have a little boy I want his name to be like bristow that's actually really cute yeah I think it's pretty cute um okay so I just I mean I was very intrigued by you because I was very intrigued by you

because I saw on one of my girlfriend's Instagram pages, she posted a picture of you. And you have a really, really interesting story of just like your journey in life. And I'm like, where do we start? Yeah. I mean, I feel like that every day. Like, where do you start? Yeah.

There's a lot. So we can unpack whatever you like to. I want to unpack it all. All of it. Okay. So one second, you may know Tommy John as the creators of the most comfortable underwear on the planet for men and women, but little did. you know, they've been working on revolutionizing comfort for men's dress shirts.

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your first order plus free shipping and free returns on all dress shirt purchases. That's Tommyjohn.com slash vine for 20% off. Cheers. Cheers. Thank you so much for coming. So you live just outside of Yeah. I'm in Guelph about an hour south from here. So I come into the city quite a bit. I have quite a few friends here and a lot of opportunity in Toronto. So it's a nice little shift between suburbia and the city. That's what I love to. I love that duality of living like a little bit. I love the burbs. I live for the burbs. But then I also love being close to city. Anyways. So yeah, my girlfriend Bailey posted a picture and I was like, how do I get this girl on the podcast? And she was like, I think she listens to your podcast. And I was like, okay, get her on. Let's do the day. damn thing. Oh my God. I just said that. No. So, okay, explain your story. Like, did you always want to be like a social media? It was influencer. Is that something that you thought about? Or like, how did this all happen for you? It's very bizarre. So I was a stay at home mom for 10 years. And a big part of like finding myself within that was being a blogger. But back then, I didn't really have much of an identity. So I did a lot of like DIY stuff, thrifting things. Anything that kind of explains like being a mom on a

single budget and being at home. So the kind of my base was being a blogger. And I started an Etsy shop at one point trying to just make jewelry for my daughters. My one had an ear sensitivity. So I had two little girls at the time. So I decided to name the shop after my two daughters' nicknames. So the first was Maya Papaya and Gemma Bird's Birdie. So out came the Bird's Papaya. Oh, that. I was going to ask where the Birds Papaya. So on Instagram you are the Birds Papaya. That's it. Yeah. And it's, and your page is gorgeous. And I love everything about it. But go on. Yes. So that was kind of like my thing. That was like my outlet and I moved back to my hometown and through a lovely series of lightbulb moments realized how incredibly unhealthy I was.

So I was 225 pounds. And I think for a lot of people when you're overweight past having kids, everyone kind of is like, well, I had three kids. Like that's a lot, obviously. But I was actually over 200 pounds my entire adult life. I had been overweight since I was 12. And one day somebody posted like this awful picture of me on Facebook. and it kind of just like melted me. And I was just like, okay, I need to do something about this and I need to do it now.

But I didn't have any money. I didn't have a car to go anywhere. My husband at the time worked outside the house. And I was home with the kids. I didn't really have a lot of opportunity to go and do anything. I didn't even own workout clothes. But I was just kind of like determined. I had this like fire in my belly.

I wanted to do something about it. I wanted to take back my life. So I started working out. You said somebody posted something on Facebook, like attacking you or just posted and you just saw and you were like, oh, okay, okay, that I was like, oh, wow, I really didn't see it. It was one of three. The other two were kind of, the one was more just coming home to my hometown.

And like, all of a sudden, you're running into people that you knew from high school on the street. And I was feeling like, ah, I don't want to leave the house. And I was starting to experience like this. I don't want to leave the house feelings. And then on top of that was having kids that were active and wanting to go in the pool and stuff. And I was like, I don't want to do anything with you guys.

Because I don't, I don't want to participate because it made me feel. very vulnerable in my body. So I really just, yeah, it was like obviously a mental health and a physical health thing kind of combined. So started working out in jeans on my bedroom floor. Wow, good for you. Yeah, like two years later, it was 100 pounds down. And from working, like literally just eating right and exercising. It was very simple. And I think that everyone wanted it to be this like big thing that I did. Like what program did you do? And I just found other women that like did workouts at home. There's, you know, bikini body mommy was a good. good one. She had like free workouts online and I was like, awesome. This is exactly what I can

like book myself into. Yeah. And I used my son as weights. He was little at the time. And I'd like pop him on my shoulder and tell him say a number. And he, I would do that many squats that he told me to do. Right. Wow. You've got to be like motivated to do that because I mean, I even find it so hard to do at home workouts because Sean has his app, the booth camp app. And he does ones for like moms who stay at home. And I'm like, that's so great because I need someone, even if it's on a screen, motivating me, but still working out from home is one of the hardest things. And I don't have kids. Like I can't imagine having the motivation and the energy to have children and be motivated to lose that kind of weight. Yeah, it was a lot. But I also think I kind of got addicted

to the feeling of like locking my door and having like headphones in and getting to escape and having an excuse that I didn't feel guilty about it. I was like, mom needs to take care of herself. doing something that's not reading a book totally i'm going to go work out like this is what i'm going to go do and it kind of so anyways at some point somebody saw it on instagram or kind of noticed steal the mic for me for a second so one of the things that i find so interesting is you're saying it was a mental health and a physical health for sure oh no that was my bag that fell over sorry um so how was the process about of tackling the mental health portion of it because i think of that point it has to be mental before physical and so what would be your

recommendations for someone to get past the mental health part. Yeah, I think it was a lot of just some on my own in the sense that I kind of recognized I had some food issues. I definitely had some food addictions and just wasn't coping with life in general. I had, I went to a therapist and found out I had post-traumatic stress, which just made me feel like an idiot. Like, to be honest, it just felt really weird. Yeah. I would think if somebody told me that it would make me like feel better about like, oh, okay, that's what's going on. It's not me. It's not me. It's not Yeah, yeah. No, I felt weird. I felt like, I almost felt dumb or silly that there was so much that I would have been suppressing for so long that I wasn't dealing with because I was just kind of like a bubble person where I was just like, if everything's fine on the surface, that's all that matters. So I kind of went through that and it kind of comes to two different crossroads where one was I realized after losing 100 pounds that I still wasn't really happy. And so there was still more to be dealt with there. And then on the flip side, it kind of made me want to get everything in my life healthy. So. part of that was actually leaving an 11-year marriage. Wow. So, I mean, the ground floor, everything,

like really restarting, moving home, like into my parents' house with three kids, humbling as anything at 30. That is, how many kids did you have then? You had the three. Yeah, this was only a few years ago. Wow. Okay. I was telling you this before we started recording the podcast that I'm listening to this book called Light is the New Black. And just how, like, that's those things that you do for your own happiness to like when you know deep down in your gut something is not making you happy and something's not right to actually take the steps knowing that you're going to hit rock bottom and knowing that it's going to be the hardest thing you ever do when you could probably have stayed and been like somewhat happy yeah like you probably could have like worked on it and made it but deep

down in your soul you knew that you needed to like go to a place where you had to like move back in with your parents and you have the three kids and you're needing to lose this weight and you're doing everything for your own soul. I think that's so inspiring. It's, it's crazy. And I think that the thing that kind of made me realize I had to do it was the day that I woke up and I realized I didn't want to wake up. Like I woke up and I was like, I wish I hadn't. And then I thought all this time, I was laying out my life as like a sacrifice to my kids that we were just going to hold everything together. And if everything was just together, then we would never have to worry about the rest of it. Everything would be fine. I'll take the sacrifice. I'll take the fall. But they weren't going to

have me for much longer because I was slowly slipping away. And I recognized that. And I knew that it was going to be hard. And like, I mean, I told them within 30 minutes of me walking out the door that this was happening. And kids are resilient. They are. Oh, my son was like, the girls were all crying. We're all crying. We're having like this moment. And they were so sweet. And I just said to them, I didn't really get into like the details. I just said, do you trust my heart? And they were like, yes, we trust you. We trust you. And my son's like, but like, do we get a goody bag for this? And I was like, no, like, get out of here. Like, what's wrong with you?

We're all crying. He's just sitting there like, what do I get out of this? He's like, but like the two Christmases, right? Like that, I'm like, oh my gosh, child. Like, chill out for a hot second. Oh, my God. So resilient. Yeah.

We've had a lot of, I'm very open with them. I think a lot of that comes from being such a young mom with them. I didn't really have, I wasn't really a mom who had a lot of like education and like how to be a mom. So I was just winging it all the time. So a lot of like our conversation. Yeah. as they should actually as they should growing with them was cool yeah I got to have a lot of these

very raw real conversations and we still do I'll be like how do you feel about the fact that this happened like are you upset about it are you mad at me yeah I don't want them to like hold any of that so they kind of we have really open conversations about it and they're actually really happy about it yeah that's so nice to hear my sister does this thing called the feelings jar where you like put your feelings if you're like worried or upset or mad or anything that you're feeling that's like negative you'll put it in the worry jar and then you'll revisit it like the next day and if it's still bothering you you can put it back in the jar but you talk about it oh i love that and then like maybe in like five days so adults or kids but you could do

both okay i want that you can do the worry jar i guess you can do that as an adult too because you can if you like you know if it's still bothering you in a week then it's something that you know then you can just you have that like i told my sister you should burn it like or just throw it away you know just physically throwing it away and that allows room for communication and i think something sometimes that's hard to know how to communicate with your children because you know you're expecting them to tell you but they might not so this is opening the door which is amazing but i need to do that yeah well i think people in general struggle to communicate like i happen to think i'm really good at it but i'm an over communicator so i'm like let's talk about everything this is what i'm feeling

right now my fiance is very like i'll sleep on it if it bothers me tomorrow i'll talk to you about it and i'm like wait wait wait what what bothers you let's talk about it right now let's unpack everything forever. I'm the same way. I like to talk everything out. How did you meet your fiancé? Um, I have worked. Yeah. It was so I, this is like so coming back to what you were talking about about fate and like, yes, whatever that book was. The universe and the universe. Okay. So I had just left my husband. I'm living at my parents house. I'm working as a bar server. Not really sure what I'm going to do with my life. And my friend calls me up. She's like, I need somebody to call, like, cover my mat leave. We don't really have a lot of time to go through like interview process. Would you like be

interested in coming in? So I'm like, my gosh, a job. This was like a company I'd been like had my eyes on for a couple years. So I walk in and on like the very first day, I'm getting trained and there's like a lot of people and you're taking it all in. And she's pointing everybody out and showing me who they are. And she goes and that's Shane. He wears plaid every day. And I remember her saying that because it's like burned in my soul. And I just looks at him and I was like something inside me was like he's important. Not you're in love with him. I had no interest in dating. I didn't really want anybody. It was just like this he's important. So I was like, okay, that's cool. So I made him my best friend immediately, and we were just very connected, very off the

bad. And he was kind of in the ends of his own relationship. I had just come out of mind. So we just kind of became really best friends. And we started hanging out around the kids. And then my kid started, you know, mom, can you date that guy? And, like, my daughter was like trying to wing woman me, like a ton. And she's going up to him being like, do you like my mom?

Do you think she's pretty? Do you think they like her more than a friend? Yeah, like 100%. That's awesome. I'm one of like the very lucky ones where my kids were actually really into the idea of like me being with somebody instead of me being like, here's my boyfriend, fall in love with him. Right. It was very, very different.

Wow. What is his name? Shane. Oh yeah, you said that. That's okay. Shane. Oh, does he still wear plaid? Not as much.

Like he's the perfect Kendall. He lets me buy whatever I want and put it on him. So yeah. He does wear some plaid, but he did grow out of it a little bit. He got a beard now and he got a little lumberjacky if he wears plaid all the time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're pretty into fashion, no? Like, yes and no.

I love being stylish, but I'm not into like high-end fashion. I'm very much like, can I thrift it? Oh, I'm so into that. I was going to ask you from earlier when you said you did a lot of like, what is it, DIY? DIY stuff. Did you know, I like just found out what that men like not even. Yes, I did.

I was like, I always pretended like I knew. I'd be like, yeah, DIY. Like, well, I had no idea. I had no idea what it meant to do it yourself. And I never wanted to ask because now I'm admitting it. Maybe that can be my confession. It's not that good. But, but I was like,

what kind of like a mom's on a budget? I feel like there's probably so many out there that listen to the podcast. Like what are your like top five tips for moms on a budget? Thrifting is actually the most amazing thing you could ever do. Yeah. It's so much fun. I think even as I've come along the lines and I don't really like need to thrift, like I'm still a single income until I get married next week.

But I mean, there's a lot. There's a lot that happens with thrifting that you don't anticipate. And a lot of it's the hunt like that feeling and that like energy when you find something that you know with like $500. and you got it for 20 bucks. Oh, yeah. The best. Yeah.

That's big for me. I still love to like splurge on like a staple piece. I think that that's a very underestimated thing. If there's things like a jacket you're going to wear every single day, you have to think about that. Your shoes can be yes or no, your handbags. Things that actually impact your day every single day. Spend the money on that.

Yeah. But I mean, for everything else, like just have fun with it. You can spray paint anything at a thrift store. I learned that along the lines too. If you go and you look and you're like, oh, I don't, I love this. But like, it's not. my color. We're going to spray paint it. It's so satisfying. You can find any kind of like how to do it on YouTube videos. You know, you can do anything. And then I feel like it's very rewarding at the end where

you feel like you really did something in your day. Like, look at me. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, yeah, it's pretty cool. I think that there's, you're always driven to whatever you want. Like I don't think I was ever somebody who even if I had like no money at all would like just disregard my home or disregard my style. I would just like find ways around it. Right. I think that that's kind of like the key is like not abandoning who you. are as a person, regardless of what's in your bank account. I think you just, you can be classy and you can have fun and you can style your wardrobe and cut it up and learn how to sew and do whatever, right? Yeah. It's a lot of fun. It makes you feel better. Oh, gosh. It's so much more rewarding when you

like frigging for it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm thinking. I love it. And speaking of which, like where the marriage plans actually found out that Sarah's going to Vancouver and Tafino for her honeymoon. Yes, I am. Which is so exciting. I am poaching your friend Bailey for a little glass of wine. Oh, yes. Oh, Bailey's amazing. Oh, so exciting. Tafino. Yeah. So we're going to Tafino for a few days. We won a trip with BMW, like through like the series of events in Toronto. We did like a dare. We went up and did like the C and Tower Edge Walk. Oh. All of these like weird challenges in a day. And we won a two night stay in Tafino. So we're going there for like a mini moon. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've been ranked. You haven't been to Tifino. I haven't been to Tafino. Oh, you would love it. It's the most West Coast place I think that I've been where you've never been to the West at all. So. It's. oh it's going to be amazing and the hotel you're staying at is so beautiful and you're just going to do tons of walks and yeah oh that's amazing I would love it yeah I actually we have talked about wanting to go there we just haven't done it um it like a surf town yeah yes it's a surf town um

wait I wanted to go back to something else this is oh yeah wedding plans yes I'm getting married next week oh so by the time this comes out you're going to be a married woman is it really yeah yeah oh wow so cheers oh yeah congratulations to me yes Oh, that's so exciting. Man, yeah, not for me. Yeah. Like, not for this one. It's a little bit different with kids because I feel like they need that like nesting.

And I think that we went for a while when we got engaged in December. We were talking about like, when are we actually going to do the wedding? And I was like, oh gosh, we're balancing between two houses and three kids. And like a lot of life. It just made way more sense that we could just be in one house and like be together. And because like not that like custody would be an issue, I just still felt like I wanted the security of everything. We just decided to get married this year. So next week it is.

Kind of, yeah. Under 100 people, we're doing like a little lakeside wedding. And yeah, like I frifted my dress. Well, I consigned it. You did? I freaking did. Oh, that's amazing. And you know what?

It's weird because like a lot of people are like, don't you feel weird about not having a dress that's brand new? And I'm like, no, I feel amazing having a dress that like somebody else's love story was connected to and now it's connected to mine and like, I'm going to give it back and we're going to keep doing it. I'm actually totally into that idea. I wouldn't want, I'm, I would be totally fine. with like a not like if you like the um sisterhood of the traveling pants yeah is that a thing yeah yeah i never saw the movie but is that what it is they pass it on jeans yeah yeah yeah no

it's so cool it's it's just i don't know there's like memories in that like somebody like was in love and like set their vows in that dress and like hopefully it worked out for them yeah hopefully it's not cursed i don't know september 1st we'll be creeping hard september 1st i actually have a videographer that's coming. And I'm like, can you leave at the reception and just like edit something I can put up that night? Because I feel like this. And you probably feel this a little bit too. There's a bit of responsibility to the people who love you. And I don't want to be like by my phone or doing that the whole day. But when you store your day and people kind of become like attached to you, like I respect that because I do that with a lot of people too. You build like this relationship.

And I think that one of the things that works for people is as you grow was staying genuine and very intentional with your audience. Like it actually gives me anxiety when I can't. reply to people when it's getting to that point now where I have to pick and choose. Yeah. Because you can only do so much. It is hard. Cleo and I just did a podcast about authenticity. And it's like it is hard because once when your platform and your audience grows, it comes

with people who want to bring you down as well. So it's hard to get in the mental state to go into your comments and want to reply and have that responsibility when you're like, who do I trust? Who's going to be mean? I don't want to read this, but I want to read the nice ones. It's so hard to... And you have to balance the reality of it because somebody said to me, why do you allow some of these comments up here,

like if it's a mean one? And I'll leave them up there until they become hate. And if they're anything hateful, I take them down. So, but I do leave them up there because I think it's hard when people look at somebody who is any type of status, whether small, big or anything. They just, all they see is these people being praised. And there's a lot of like dark undertow with all of this that I think leaving it there shows people.

I don't even have to address it, but it shows people the realness of it. And quite honestly, usually it just somebody else defends you. You don't really have to do it. Oh, I've, yeah, the team behind. Yeah, it's so nice. Yeah, it's so nice. But that's so true. I like, you know how on Instagram you can make it so that people can't say certain words?

I didn't know that, but I thought it was weird that like I have gotten a lot less trolley comments. You know what I had to put in as my like trigger word to like they can't slut and whore. No. Because that's like how bad it was after the show. Those are like the main things I put in my like, don't say this on my comments. You need to leave like a slut walk in your town. Have you ever heard of those? No.

My hometown does it. But it's like a slut walk and it's like literally taking back like the word and like how it's been like labeled on women for far too long. Yeah. I don't know what's involved and never attended it. But I always see it. And I'm like yes. Oh, I'm going to look into that. Yeah.

Slot walk. I love it. I think it's so cool. Excuse me. Wow. I wish you guys could see the visual of what just happened. I'm, like, right in a good, like, moment, too. Like, I said, like, I ate a big tofu bowl before I came up here.

It's delicious. Yeah, so good. And now the wine's kicking in. You know how it goes. If you guys have ever seen stuff from Express, it's really cute. When your billable hours start running into your happy hours, there's no time for an outfit change. Rewrite the rules of dressing for the job with style for work at Express. These fashion forward pieces are designed to make sinking.

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select stores. So shop style for work now at your nearest express store or on express.com and get $25 off when you spend $100 on anything at Express using code Caitlin in store or 4841 at express.com. That's promo code Caitlin in store or 4841 at express.com. Some exclusions apply. Obviously we're creeping you. We're creeping your Instagram. Hard. And there was this one post and I think to sum back, go back to your story, there is this one post that, we read and we almost cried in the car it. It really moved us and I think that you should read it. I can't. I'll cry. Okay. Wait. What one is it? I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read. It's the one. You posted it on July 16th. Actually, can only wine. Yes. And so it's just going to be like a couple

minutes. I'm going to read. I'm going to listen to my own words. Yes. You're going to listen to your own words. This is going to be beautiful. Yeah. And I hope that I don't cry. And I think I just just love to hear your thoughts on what you were thinking when you wrote this post. Describe the picture first. Okay. So the picture is a picture of you, I guess, back in the day when you were like overweight, overweight. Yeah. And then there's one where you lost a lot of weight and then now where you are today. Yes. And so here it goes. Over, under balanced. I've noticed something over the years. I've watched and been inspired through hundreds of stories of women working to improve themselves. Losing weight. Hunkering down. Tackle the issues. Slowly but surely outcomes a whole new

person the after this post isn't to inflate one or shame another this is a post to explain that while you think you may know about one's body engaged success based on appearances maybe it's time we stop to show grace love and celebration of all bodies that first photo she was in the weeds of motherhood pregnancies and postpartum but her body was working she was overweight exhausted and victim to her food addictions but she grew and birth three babies throughout it all so i yeah had a girl so i will celebrate her. That middle photo, she'd lost 110 pounds, weight coming off steadily through exercise and food tracking over the course of two years, and even though she dipped too low, I'm proud of her too. Because she was in the most stressful time of her life. She was struggling

with gut issues, divorce, complete life uprooting, while working two jobs and raising three kids. She maybe didn't have everything right, but she was working it out and I will celebrate her. Yeah, we're celebrating. I know me too. I'm getting too. I'm getting too. It's my own freaking Thumbs. It's so beautiful, though. And then there's a third photo. The now. That girl, she found her balance. Somewhere that isn't so restrictive and terrified of food, but still mindful of that old addiction. She's confident in her body more than ever. She's owning it. She's still learning and dealing with stress in better, more healthy ways. And she's still far too busy for own good, but she's landing in a safe place. I will celebrate her too. There will be photos to follow these and more after that. This is not a spectrum of success, but a development of one. story. It's not a straight line and it's okay to be working towards a balance and learning along the way. I was overweight. I was underweight. I am now balanced. But I will celebrate this journey. It has taught me so much and more importantly help me fall in love with myself enough to care. Take time to celebrate where you've come from and where you are. And there's so much to be

thankful for. There is so much to celebrate. Oh, God. I honestly, I am a little, I am a little emotional all about it just because I'm like you are such a like writer like just the way you spoke like that like it's I mean it's just I can't I don't even have words because I'm just like that everything you said was so perfect and so inspiring and so beautiful thank you and maybe like touch on like talk about what that balance is because I I think that is the key to a happy life and so how you feel about your balance today yeah and balance is such a tricky thing for so many people like even when you do feel like you're a balanced person, it's still like such a great area of what balance is to, because everybody probably has a different definition of balance. Absolutely. And everybody's bodies function

differently. And I think there's a lot that you just have to recognize that we each are our own person. But I think for me, I'm one of the very few, I don't know how many in the world, but there's not a lot of people who have lived on both ends of the spectrum, who have been very overweight and then very underweight and can say, you know what, I didn't find happiness at either end. So something's not right there. Yes. So when you start to kind of date yourself, and romance yourself and get to know who you are, you kind of get to find your own balance. Like for me, I'm not afraid of food anymore, but I am still very cautious about what I eat because I want to eat with intention.

I like to eat something that's actually going to take care of me because I actually love myself. I want to live as long as possible. I would like to live without pain. I want to live happily, like mental clarity. There's just so much that comes past through all of this stuff and we put so much focus on what we can physically see. Yes.

And there's a lot of praise and reward to what we can see. there's a lot of turmoil that's going on inside but if you deal with that it doesn't matter what you put out because it's always freaking beautiful because you believe it more than anybody like there's I shouldn't technically love myself more now than I did like a year ago when I was another 20 pounds less but I'm so much happier now and there was a lot of like usually when it comes to Instagram and like being vulnerable those first times that like I showed my stomach and my stretch marks and all that stuff like it's it's a very vulnerable place usually if I'm nervous to post it, I know it's important. And I have to listen to that gut feeling because I know

that if I'm sharing it, somebody else is feeling what I felt. Even if it was a year ago, even if I felt it yesterday, somebody else in the world is there. Because when I had kids, none of my friends had stretch marks. None of them had those bodies. I was the only one. That's the best part about social media. You get to find those people and connect. And I just want to be that person sometimes and give people that permission to stop caring so much about things that are actually really beautiful experiences of your body. I love that. I hope everybody who's listening follows your account because it is like, I hope they do too.

Because I do think even if even if you don't like connect to that specific story, you still are such an inspiration for like like investing in yourself. Yeah. So I think like no matter what shape or size anyone is like even it would just be like beneficial to anyone to follow you. I think it's full hashtag realtorgram. Yes. But then it's so funny.

I was thinking about this yesterday because if you go back in my account, there's like obviously the beginning of the weight loss. And then it was like, I almost like felt like I needed to be sexy and like I'm never smiling in anything. And I went through this phase of like I needed to feel this certain way and everything was like very curated and definitely face tuned my body far too many times. I mean, we fall into these traps. We feel like we want that perfection. But social media is kind of starting to take that back. We're now appreciating more real like reality because I think that we went from is so I follow some beautiful people on Instagram and I am ashamed of that at all yeah i love seeing pretty pictures just nothing wrong with that but there's something about beauty that's shifting there's something about like someone was telling me about like your bare face posts how they just like freaking loved that and i was like yeah like that's it's so weird

it is i think we are that's a good point cleo people are craving real and i think anyone you talk to would agree with that like because you are so now we're so aware of the social media like bubble and like um how it is just like people try to have like an aesthetically pleasing page and and now that you can you can do both like and i think everyone has kind of just realized from scrolling that they are always comparing themselves so they do crave that realness to be like oh okay other people are doing the same thing i'm doing i'm not alone and i should like be happy and love myself for who i am and not compare myself we'll be back with more off the vine with kately bristow Alexa isn't the only one with breaking news.

Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute. Hey guys, if you like my show, then you're going to love the Natalie Eva Marie show on podcast one. The former WWE and Total Diva star along with husband Jonathan Coyle team up to deliver one-of-a-kind opinions not heard on any other podcast. With a rotating guest list including celebrities, influencers, and activists, get ready to be informed, intrigued and entertained. Check out the Natalie Eva-Marie show every Wednesday on podcast one or wherever your favorite podcasts are. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Erin Trelor, who is the founder of Rob Beauty Talks, sent me a link to the story that says

selfies are shifting our definition of beauty. It's called Snapchat dysmorphia and it makes people want to look like an edited version of themselves. Yeah, like what is that? What? Like, no, but like why? Like I'm, like, why? Like, I'm, Oh, why is that? But I think that everyone kind of goes through that. I think that maybe as part of the self-acceptance part is we just need those filters for a while. Yeah, because I think it's everyone, and so everyone has it. And so you see the reality isn't real, but you have that social pressure to feel like you need to look like that.

And then so I'm 100% guilty. I love the filters. And I was like, oh, I don't even have to wear makeup. The filter will do it. It's so much easier. And it's better for my skin. But yeah, I know. And that's why I love the real Instagram movement.

I love what Aaron's doing with Raw Beauty because it's accepting and realizing that that's just not real. As long as you can accept that. The fact that there's a term from doctors for it, like it's an actual term they've come up with called Snapchat dysmorphia. And it's a form of body dysmorphia. And not everyone's using the filters suffers from this condition. This condition. Like it's a condition. Wow.

I'm not surprised. What defines it, though? But they said it's just further evidence that what may seem like harmless software can have a seriously negative impact on a person's mental health. It causes people to, like, obsess over what they view as defects or flaws in their appearance. They're more prone to try and find ways to look like their filtered photos permanently. In extreme cases, they may even seek plastic surgery, but that's not something everybody can afford and doctors can reject patients they deem mentally unstable.

Because think about it. Think about, like, in your adult self and making decisions to, like, oh, I'm like, I'm going to do some preventative Botox. I'm going to get some fillers. But I love Botox. Oh, me too. I talk about Botox. The best thing. I call my forehead a skating rink because it's just like a smooth, silky, like it's a hundred percent just authority over choosing what you want.

Yes. I really care what people do with themselves. Yes. Like, it's just like, that's why I don't feel like there should be shame around like a tummy tuck if somebody chooses it or like if you do Botox or if you do lip filler. which I also do but it's more just like I get to choose that because I want to do it I'm not listening to the rest it's that ownership I think it's this is more of a concern for like fragile teenagers who don't know themselves yet and don't understand what like true like self-love is yeah yeah I can't imagine just when you're in high school having to deal with this then I think that

that's where there's a little bit more of the concern and and how do you communicate that to those teenagers because you know in your 30s I think you come into yourself but we were just talking about it like we're so glad that we didn't go through that phase yeah for sure when their social media was so big and I'm watching my daughter kind of go through it a little bit now but it's funny because I'm not I remember when I first lost weight I took so many selfies it's like I almost like needed this like constant validation but every once in a while like you know when I remember back like years ago it would normally only be like when I was pregnant and I felt beautiful or when I had just gotten my hair done or like something like that that you know projected me towards wanting to take a

selfie made me feel worthy enough to take that picture so then when I lost all this weight I was like yes yes yes pictures picture pictures all the time I want all of it with the filters of course and then as it's gone all of a sudden I'll look at my phone I'll be like oh I haven't like actually taken a picture of myself like in a while but I did I made a post this one time talking about the value of the selfie too like a lot of people bring it down but I'm like can we just celebrate for half a second when somebody feels so good about themselves that they take a picture and they're like like, hell yeah, I look good. I'm putting it out in the world.

Totally. In a world of self-hate, I love when people still take a selfie. I love seeing my fellow moms and my friends from high school when I get to see their face in my feed because you know, you grow away. It's so true because moms tend to like, be like, oh, I don't want to be in the photo. Like, and always make it about their kids because they don't want to be in it. But so you probably, it is probably nice to say, oh, there you are. Like, yeah, yeah, good to see you.

Good to see you. And like, you don't need to have your hair freshly done. You don't need to have all these, like, things. And I think that's kind of with the filter part too. Like there's part of me that's like, okay, I love you with the adorable dog ears, but I'd really love to see your face. Like I'd love to see you because I miss you. Like there's part of that that.

And I think that's what's really nice about the real Instagram is that we're starting to see our people again. And we're starting to see them in like these raw ways. And I think also when you put that out there, you kind of do open the door for the next person to feel like it's okay. Because when they see you, like when they see you without your makeup and they're like, break, she's stunning. Why can't I feel stunning without makeup?

Like, of course you can, but you start to see that value in kind of stripping away all of the excess, right? Yeah. So, like you're more relatable. And I think that sometimes people, if you're always looking a certain way, so done up, then you just can't connect with that person the same way. And it's interesting because all your realtorgrams are some of the most, you get the most likes on your reals tograms.

Yeah, because I think it's probably refreshing on people's feeds, you know. I think there can be a balance of both. I think you should 100% be able to do anything. And it's funny. because that's one thing I love about the change in Instagram in general and just kind of the movement of social media is we have all these beautiful curated pictures like even me and my raw photos they still have like a very I color code the art I color filter them so they look aesthetically pleasing I like things to have an aesthetic but you know it's got to go with the feed it's got to go with the feed it's so good do Instagram stories that's what I was going to say that's where the texture is like there's such a every my post are usually pretty serious there's usually a little bit of depth it's usually something that I've written and I've paired a photo. with right um my stories are just like random crap that's going on in my life and like a whole lot of yeah see i love i love that um i love it too it's my favorite do you follow jillian harris yeah she's the

best on the stories she's the best obsessed with her yes because i honestly she's one that i'm like i just keep i don't even know why but her voice maybe it's because she's from alberta and so am i but like her voice sounds comforting to me and she's always just like so real and her page is always so beautiful and then her stories she like I mean she rocks her gray hair roots and she will be like I'm so tired she doesn't put an ounce of makeup on her stories are just so raw that's the texture it's the texture everybody craves it's the reality that people crave without the effort where her feed is so beautiful because then you're like oh okay you can like do these beautiful photos but this is what your real life is yeah and and anyone can really have that to be honest if you

had the right team makeup hair um people who know know what they're doing on social media, photographers, all these things. Anyone could really do it. Like, even when I first came off the show, I was like, why, but how do people get such pretty pictures and like have a color theme? You become a creator. Yeah. It's an under, it's an understated value for a lot of people who kind of live in that world. And it took me a long time to, I hate the word like influencer, but that's kind of like the word. Yeah. But you're a creator. Back in the day, brands used to pay, you know, companies. They'd outsource it to individual people who were creators. And now those creators are actually like brands themselves. Yeah. There's,

creators. Creator is like a content creator. When you, when you look at someone like Jillian Harris, she's a very intentional content creator. She's very good at what she does. And she's very relatable because she does have that texture in the background. I think if she just had her feed and never had that texture of the stories, maybe it would feel a little bit contrived eventually. Yes. But it doesn't because she has this like genuineness about her. Yeah. That when you go on her feet and her pictures are perfect, you're like double tap, double tap, double tap. Yeah. Like you want to support. her because you're like, yes, please, please rise to the top as like a regular, it's beautiful watching like regular humans now just make it in the world and watch brands like Pepsi or whatever

like sponsor your girl next door because the game is level now. Anybody can do it. That's, well, when I came out of the show, it was just such a new thing. Like I feel like that's when social media was really like kind of blowing up and becoming a way of being a business. And so I was so confused by it, but I was loving it at the same time because people see, me on the show and they've only seen this edited version of me. Then they follow me on like Instagram and they see pictures of me. But having the video and like I was so obsessed with Snapchat and like Instagram stories now, it's such a way to actually show your personality and who you are instead of just like what people think you are or what they think you should be. Do you find it's hard

with like The Bachelor though watching people go on and you know that they're just on there now because they want to have this account afterwards? Like I actually stopped watching the show like a while ago but almost everybody that I follow that's from Bachelor, I didn't even watch their seasons. A lot of times I just like who they are as a brand afterwards. And there's very few that you can like do that with. Yeah. One was like Michelle Money who like I'm obsessed with her.

Yes, she's amazing. She did a thing after your season where she just went on this like big talk all about like intimacy and stuff like that. And it was one of the most relatable things I've ever heard in my entire life. And I was like, yeah. So I don't really care that you started on The Bachelor or whatever it was. Like who you are and who you continue to be is so cool and genuine. but it's kind of weird now because you know anybody entering it because you can tell by following

some people from the bachelor world that they are like the influencers and that they are like you know that's their that's their thing which is I mean totally so lucky I mean you know authenticity the authentic ones are the ones that actually last yeah oh obviously yeah right yeah it's the poor guys though that like like Sean had to work his ass off to like build this brand that he has obviously done a very good job at but like the guys I don't feel like because girls want to see what girls are wearing, their makeup, their hair, they're this. Guys, it's so hard for them to build a brand coming off a show like The Bachelor. I follow a lot of like bearded men.

I just like to watch bearded styles. Speaking of which, I saw that your fiancé, it changed his name as the bearded papaya. So did that. Okay. So crazy story about a month ago. No, it was in June. I accidentally deleted my Instagram. I'm not even kidding.

It was like this massive crisis. this, but I, it was happening because I was trying, I had like a sub account called the Beards Papaya and I'm like, if you're not going to use it, I'm just going to delete it. Went to go and try and delete it and deleted my own. Like literally had to go all the, like they told, Facebook told me I had 48 hours to get it back and like do everything you can. So the world of Instagram just rallied for me. Oh my gosh.

I had this like backup account that like grew to like 10,000 by like the end of the day. And at hour 45 it came back. But they never told me how or why or anything, but it did come back. But it was because the Beards Papaya. Oh my gosh. So now that's one of these days, if you could actually use that account, they would make this whole thing more than. So now that's Shane's.

Yeah, but he doesn't actually use it. It's funny because you were talking about the other day on your podcast, you were talking about how people really notice when you like don't like your fiance's like photos and stuff like that. And I'm like, oh my gosh. Like if any, I don't even text him. Like we're just not like that. We just have like a good relationship that's like very solid that we can go.

If he goes away for the weekend, like I don't hear from him except for like he's and then you probably have such good conversation when he comes back. Oh yeah. I also don't want to be leashed to that. When I go out, I want to be free of that. I don't want to be like checking and like, oh, like what am I doing and whatever? Like he really respects my independence and he knows because I came out of not having that that he really respects that I need that.

And I want that for him too. But if anybody ever looked at our social media, it would be like, are you guys okay? Yeah, that's, you haven't texted in a week. Like I was saying one of my girlfriends, I like haven't been liking her photos either, but obviously nobody notices that. But she was like, oh my gosh. She's like, I just went and looked at my feed. She goes, I've been posted about my husband in three weeks.

And then she's like, but nobody questions us breaking up. Like, it's so funny. But at the same time, that is literally the reason that like 98% of people follow me is to like, you know. I don't know. Like, yeah, of course. They want to see you making, like, I think it's nice that you're making it. And I think that there is always going to be that feeling of people love love. Yeah.

Yeah, of course. I love love. I love love. I kept my relationship a secret for quite a while because I like a year. Oh, wow. So when I came out with it, it was like this, again, whenever I feel hesitant or nervous, you know, it's going to be important. So I posted this picture of the two of us and I introduced him to the world.

And the response was like so beautiful. And then we got engaged like two months later and the response was like so beautiful. And I'm like, okay, thank goodness. Because it's just, it's weird. I knew that it was crossing me from being one to like the other. Yeah. It was just like suddenly I was so genuine and shared about everything. And then all of a sudden it was, oh, by the way, I've been keeping this massive.

Seeker from you guys. I'm so sorry. One, you have kids, too, that you want to make sure that this is like the right guy before you introduce him. So that makes a lot of sense. I was lucky. I said one like I had a two and a three and a four, but I didn't. Just one. One point. I was lucky in my relationship with him. We kind of got to, like a lot of people will ask about like the blended family thing. And they have like science. It's like science. I don't know who. I don't know who the science is. But science has said that. John Travolta. relationships and John Hervolta and the science. Tom Cruise, too.

They've said that secondary breakups are so much harder on kids because you don't think about the fact that they never get to see that person again. So Shane and I knew that this was going to be. Does Shane have kids? No, that's what we were just talking about. We're just saying like, well, we ever have a fun time baby? Like, I don't know. I was going to kind of fake out on confession and be like, guys.

Oh. Could you imagine? Yeah, let's confess. do you want me to confess yeah all right all right i'm super into a confession right now i'm trying to think clue do i have any confessions does anything happen really embarrassing last yeah think about it because i'm like your coffee i just realized i know it's okay i'll have it after my wine my mid-afternoon wine uh i'm trying to think if uh something has happened i feel like i thought of one thing but i feel like i've confessed this before and i'm like after so many podcasts you kind of

forget like what you've confessed but but i'm like maybe this happened to me twice but you know hi like if you don't have a tampon you like wind up wind up some like toilet paper and just like put it in there like I call it a manpon like a man-made tampon a DIY pawn yeah a DIY pawn I know what that means now um and uh I think I I think I have confessed something similar to this but I had that and then I went to pull down my undies to like go to the bathroom and not realizing that that had come out and it was on the floor oh no wearing my underwear oh yeah that was a confession I accidentally God, how can I not at the age of 33

figure out when to change a tampon or like not leak? Like what? Okay. You were staying in my house and then you're like, shoot, I didn't bring any underwear. And I was like, okay. I'm like, here's like a cute one.

You know, one of those Calvin Klein ones. And I was like, yeah. And then we went and did a big hike and then she's like, oh my God, I need you do it with bathroom right now. There is something happened and the flow is happening. And I was like, oh my God, she's wearing my underwear.

Yeah. I totally ruined her like super cute pair. of Calvin Klein's like funny though like I always find it hilarious how shocked we are when we get our periods I this guy one time said to me he's like you know if I ever if my junk bled one time a month you better believe I'd know exactly the moment that was going to happen I'm like I'm always just still surprised I have an app now that tells me but I'm still like I'm surprised every time and I'm always surprised at like like how often I'm like ah it should be fine I'll just go do this hike and then it's like learn your lesson Caitlin like yeah why are you not on the diva cup yet

Okay, I've been hearing all about this deep a cup. No, it's a thing and it's the best thing ever. I love it. Yes, I've heard this. It's very gross the first time you're like dealing with it because I think it's the first time like you identify with your body being like a bleeding thing because normally a tampon you're just like take it out and toss it. It's cool because you suddenly start to like identify with that part of your body and you like have to dump it out.

But it's really great because you can wear it even if you think your period's coming without risk and you wear it for like 12 hours. Yeah, that's what I keep hearing. Because tampons are like so sketch for like chemicals and. And they feel really gross once you go back to using them after being on like a cup. Really? Like you go back and you're like, what the heck was I doing? It's really weird.

But pair it with, um, there's Knicksware. They're like a local Toronto Canadian company. Yeah. She invented like leak proof underwear. Pair that. Oh wow. With a diva cup and you're just like flying high. Match made in heaven.

That's so crazy. Yeah. Cause I put, I mean I just, I went to like pull up my underwear and I like wash my hands and left the room and then, um, somebody else see it? Yeah. oh no luckily it was just my mom but she like walked in and saw my little DIY tampon you know what sitting on the ground and i was like mom one year at christmas we were all together this is not my confession this is weak but one year at christmas we were all i always like to use

the upstairs bathroom of the house and it was back when i was using tampons and i guess i flushed one of my parents don't have a toilet that you can like flush with that and then my grandfather went to like use the bathroom later and then all of a sudden my mom like an hour later she's like just so you know, like your dad is, like, currently working on a massive flood that went on upstairs. I guess you flushed a tampon and there's like bloody water all over the floor. Your grandfather found it and now your dad's cleaning it up. No. And it was like this.

And then I just burst out laughing. So what else can you do? They're awkward. I'm just like, sorry. Like, I don't know. I didn't know. It's beyond the point of where I could do anything about it. Are you really close with your dad?

Like, yeah. Oh, yeah. But I mean, it was still like, he would never like, it would be, yeah, we're not like that close. would never tell them about my period right so that's see i the relationship i had with my dad like all growing up i remember him being like i was really insecure about how skinny my arms were all my life and because they were so skinny i my arms looked super hairy like because they're like i don't know they didn't have enough like space to like what i don't know what do you mean space what space does that no maybe that was just a lie i told myself this all time i shave my

well because so i would i do now yeah but but my dad would go buy me bleach cream to bleach my arm hair because it was so dark and he'd always tell me like that's the solution I and he'd always tell me like Kate you know like you can get me to like get you like hair remover or bleach cream and and he would always like want me to like have and we were super close like but he was he's the cutest he is honestly the sweetest man you'll ever meet what is his name Mike okay I really wanted to be like Ron or something really adorable Mike's oh yeah we call him big Mike and he's super little. Really? Yeah, he's so tiny. And he's honestly just like the sweetest little man with a mustache and like just you put your parents in your stories a lot though, don't you? Well, my mom and Rob, but so my dad was never like a big performer social media kind of guy. He's more of like, like I'm very in the moment with my dad and we have like solid conversations and I just feel like I would never just pop them up and put him on my Instagram story. Like he's more like, what is that? Like what's, now he has Instagram though, which is so funny. Yeah. That's so awkward. My dad just trolls mine. He's like

there's holes in your jeans. I'm like, get out of here. You're such a troll. My dad reads the comments and gets fired up. I'm like, dad, don't do that.

But yeah, he would always, but I remember one time, I had like got my period for one of the first times and I came out of the shower and I like went to go upstairs and my dad goes,

hey, Kate. And I'm like, what? I was probably like 16. He's like, did you cut yourself shaving? I'm like, no. He's like,

well, there's blood all over the floor and I was like, I was like, wait, I did. Yeah, totally cut myself shaving. shoot. Whoops, better get me a band-aid. Like, I was like, I could have just been like, oh, dad, I got my period.

He would not have cared. Oh, my God. He wouldn't have cared at all. He would have been like, oh, and he would have probably cleaned it up because that's the kind of man. He has, that's weird. But, like, I was like, oh, yeah, I did. I cut myself out.

But like, it's so funny. Like, period talk. Now I'm always like, my daughter hasn't gotten hers yet and she's going to kill me if I ever listen to this one day. But I'm like so excited for it. I'm like, not excited for her to get it. But I'm like, I just want her to. Congratulations on being a woman.

Like, let's talk about it. Like, let's have fun with this, right? Like, it sucks, but, like, let's be real about it. Yeah. She's just, like, not there. She doesn't want to talk about it at all. My best friend actually came over and I put her in a room and I was like, listen, one of us is going to tell you how to use a pad.

Because if it happens to you at school, I don't want you going to the 25 set machine. So one of us is going to show you, which one are you going to do? And she's like, mom, get out. She can show me. And I was like, okay, Arianna is going to show you how to put on a pad. Aw. I think that's so cool. like even going back to like the selfie and the Instagram and like what our kids are going to have to go through with social media, I think just having like such an open honest like communication with your parents and being able to have these conversations and like have them be able to know that they can come to without feeling ashamed is like so so important. I like to embarrass the heck out of them. Yeah. And then hope that one day they'll feel okay to embarrass themselves. Like if I just talk openly like and they're always like mom. But I'm like no seriously. That's what's going on with me. I want to be the same way. But my son is like very he's very like

tune with me, I guess. Maybe I've shared a little too much. He walked in on the bathroom once when I had my period and he was like, oh, I'll go get a band-aid. And I was like, no, no, no, like, it's cool. And I had to explain the whole thing to him. And ever since then, he's kind of like been really in tune with it. So one day I had come home and I was like talking to the kids. And I was like, I actually have to go to the bathroom. I feel like I might have gotten my period. So I go to the bathroom and he comes over and he like knocks on the door. And he's like, mom, how's your period going? Is it okay? And I was like, yeah, dude, it's fine. He's like, also, I didn't think you were having that for like another three days and i was like wait what i'm like you need to just

no oh my gosh i hope i have that relationship with my kids i know Shane heard it though and he like text me and he's like yeah mom how's your period going and i was like oh crap i'm either screwing him up or i'm really making him a good husband for oh he's going to be such a good let's go with the positive no when you're outnumbered by women as a guy in a house you become like a sensitive soul and like I just believe that I really do I do too he thinks that women are like the top of the world so he is all about like he thinks that girls are like the coolest how old is he he's eight now eight oh wait that's so special he I actually just realized they're gonna freak out that I'm going to Vancouver because they're obsessed with Riverdale oh yeah yeah yeah filming there yeah

Riverdale that's so funny because one of the guys is like freaking Ben Ross's son yeah Ben from friends yes because it's Ben from friends like Jugger Ross's little boy, Ben, same guy from Big Daddy as well. Like, I'll wipe my own ass. And then they went on to the sweet life of Zach and Cody. So I met them when they were at Cactus Club at this restaurant. And I, like, tweeted something. I was like, those kids are underage drinking a cactus.

And Cactus Club actually got in a lot of trouble because I guess the server didn't ID them. Anyways, I ended up meeting them again. And the one guy, Dylan. Is this name? Dylan? What's the other one? I think, yeah, I think you're right. I think.

Sprouse, Cole and Dylan. Yes, you're right. Sprouse. That's the same guys, right? Yeah, twins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the same. So, Sweet Life is of Zach and Cody.

Their names aren't actually Zach and Cody. No, they're not Zach. Okay, so Dylan, I still have Dylan's number in my phone because he asked me to like help him read lines or something one time. Yeah, like, he was staying at the hotel behind me and I was like, I hope this isn't weird, like, because he's like obviously super young. Like, I hope he doesn't think this is like a flirty thing. But anyways, yeah.

But it's so funny because then I like had him on Snapchat just from being in my phone And with my number and I was like, who is in my phone as Dylan Disney? And that's what he was in my phone as Dylan Disney. And now I like see him on Snapchat sometimes. But anyways, super random. Isn't it crazy that that's who it is now though? It's so weird. So weird.

Yeah, it's really weird. That show is like, and all the parents are like the people we thought were hot in the 90s, like the fact that Skeedall, which is the dad throws me off. Yeah. yeah I'm yeah yeah it's a lot and like Molly Bringwald's mom Luke Perry's a dad in it oh yeah I've only seen a couple episodes way low oh yeah parents oh yeah that's so mark and swallows well my kids are like really fans so we kind of watch it together that's wait you still haven't confessed yeah I know it's gonna say what you're gonna spill it all right all right this is a pretty it's not that long a story but it's a good story okay so after kids

they encourage you to do like a lot of keegles and stuff right so I had been doing them and I just found them frustrating. I don't know why I don't love them. They're just like a weird sensation for me. So I had heard something about Kegel balls. So I decided to go and buy some on Amazon, like as you do. You like, you know, grab your Rumba and your Kegel balls. So ordered the Kegel balls, got them, put them in.

And all of a sudden, one like disappears. And I'm like, friggin losing my mind. So first of all, no longer have to fear that my vagina isn't strong enough because apparently it's too strong. And it is literally holding the balls like deep inside me. And I'm Googling and it's saying everything's fine. like you don't have to worry about it just push them out birth them so i birthed them and i washed them and i did not put them back in their velvet little bag i just threw them in

my bedside table and left it for like good i was not dealing with the keel balls i was okay to like lose my amazon twelve dollars so a few weeks later i don't even know how long it was my son comes up to me and he was like mom i'm really sorry he's like weirdly confessional about things he doesn't like he never gets in trouble because he just like always confesses so he's like i'm really sorry i lost your marbles and I was like what what marbles I don't have any marbles you don't have to worry about it bed and he's like no no no like I borrowed them because they were like the good metal ones that you can use in battle and I lost them in a battle and I was like wait so my confession is there's a child in the world that is holding on to my kegle balls that he lost enough my son

lost in a fight that's amazing that's like a real story that I carry with me and that is just I tell us like my good friends, but that is like not something I would like, how do you even, how do you even tell that story? Like it's just like, how would you explain how my son ended up with like Kegel balls, except for the fact that he went into my bedside table, which has other unmentionables and just decided to take these things out and go and play them on the school grounds like a pog. That's funny. That was real. Wow. So, yeah, he only lost one. The other one did come back and I hope the kids mom listens to this podcast and then she realizes she'd be able to tell the difference between like an actual marble and like one of these things and I would really hope

because they're just like a metal they're just like little they're like a little metal marble you gave me what was the um yoni the yoni egg have you ever heard of yoni egg so it's interesting because if you have a strong like if you still have strong muscles down there but so the yoni egg is something that's like making well it's becoming popular and you you actually it's this quartz or depending on whatever rock you want and then you like stick it up in there. Okay. And it's supposed to be like you're in touch with your femininity and it's really closer your uterus and just shove up in your cooter. Exactly.

But the interesting thing is you buy it and you're like so how do you take it out? Because you're just like shoving it up there. Right. And so they're like oh no, they're like you're supposed to like your body rejects us when it's ready to. But the first time that you put it in it's usually they say like it's usually going to be up there for like a day or two. Sorry, an hour or two and then it comes out. But as obviously your muscles, I guess, are getting stronger and your body's accepting it more than it can like it stays up there longer. So what if you're just hanging out and your sweats around the house or like undies,

it just pops out and all of a sudden you're like, there's my egg. No, I've never found that it just like comes out. It's like more so like if you're. That's my favorite part. You lay an egg. You lay an egg. Well, but it's like it's interesting. I think it's more so it's definitely.

in like when you go to the bathroom or thing or when you're activating that because then it gets used to it like I've for me it's been up there for like three days and I'm like oh my gosh wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait you have it in right now no I don't have it in right now three days yeah it's up there for three days I actually forgot about it like I feel like like with my luck my parents would come over and I'd accept them over for a dinner party and all a sudden plunk book out it would come and I'd be like that's what I was thinking or like okay but what about if you're going to the bathroom what if you like Unleash the poop dragon and it plunks out

And then you have to go fishing for it That would suck So yeah I think you have to be so conscious of it And if you are gonna go number two You're gonna go poop Then you have to like somehow like hold You would

You know what they tell you to do that after childbirth They do? You have to like hold your vagina Because I think it's actually good practice as well For when you are gonna have kids And like just strengthening that area I mean that makes sense And apparently it makes orgasms feel way better too

Because I'm curious enough. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and probably get one. I can't tell them because my parents are listening. Yoni egg. My parents are listening and now know that my son found my Kiego balls. So. Oh, there you go. Well, now you have to get yourself a yoni egg.

And I got you one and you have to use it. I know. I keep getting scared. How big is it? It's a actually egg size. Oh, it's like. Oh. Okay.

Wait. So it's like for the people listening, how do we describe? Maybe a duck egg size. Like a quail egg. Yes. Yes. It is that size. Yeah.

But it's like, okay, I will say it's like, just get yourself a yoni egg. Do yourself a favor. Oh, hashtag sponsored. Where are you yoni egg? Yeah, yoni egg. They don't even need to sponsor. Apparently, we're just selling them like hot cakes. Diva cups and yonie eggs.

If you take away anything from this podcast, it's get yourself a yoni egg and a diva cup. And if you're a guy, we're really sorry that we're listening to this. Body positivity includes vagina help. So I do have like two male listeners. Okay. how can you tell can you see no but I just judge off my Instagram how many do you have like a percentage on your yes you know how many because mine is like astronomically women mine is too it's mine is let's see 10% men 90% women 10 okay so I'm 6% men 94% women by the way remember

how I said that my fiance never texts me he did he did right now this is what he said Why does fridge have a D and refrigerator doesn't? Good question. Wow, that is a great, great question. Thanks, Jean. Now I'm thinking so deeply about this question. Refrigerator. And there's like a very clear D in there.

Refrigerator. Jir, D. Fridge. I know. Interesting. Good question. Good question. Ask, reply with this.

Is a hot dog a sandwich? Oh, we've had that. whole argument before i think i can't remember what we decided oh well i have other i have other heated i have other questions for you before we wrap this out that i let's do it wrap this out what's wrong with me okay it's it's a little game of you can go with this oh you can go with that you can go with this oh you can go you know the song yeah you don't it's such a hype up if you're not prepared to play this or that will you're not prepared to play this or that after that song if that didn't hype you up for this game i don't know what will

are you hyped okay oh i need my phone to ask you the questions okay here we go just just some questions to get to know you better toilet paper over or under i don't care as long as it's changed and you know what i have a lot of people in my house as long as it's changed i don't care that is fair there apparently is a scientific answer to it and apparently it's better if it is over because people touch the wall if it's under and you're transferring bacteria and over time it builds up oh interesting always rubbing against that and also because you have to grip the top to rip the bottom that that always means that you're touching it but honestly you're like what and there's probably a lot of bacteria in a lot of other places yeah okay um when you put your cups in the cupboard

right side up or upside down right side up me too collects bacteria if you podcast or book you won't insult me no that's two different times of the day right now podcast okay what's your favorite podcast besides mine besides yours

I'm on and off with the lady gang oh yeah they're good I have a friend Amanda who has one that's called the sandwich it's pretty new and I like that one as well have you heard gold digger with Jenna Kutcher No, but I should listen to her because I actually love her so much. Yeah, she has a good podcast. She's just everywhere, so I don't know, like, where the right thing to find her.

So I'm just usually on Instagram. I actually don't even know that I knew that she was on a podcast. Oh, really? What is your favorite? Just so you're like... I've never listened to a podcast. I'm not kidding. I don't know if I've ever listened to a podcast.

Oh, wow. That's a confession. I guess that is a confession. You didn't know what DIY. was yeah you left pads on the floor yeah bloody tab man made one man made ones now this a goop podcast oh I bet that's good oh you know what I lied I've listened to Oprah's Super Soul Sundays once I don't know that that was one either I aren't they're a great thing to listen to when I'm working which is why I felt like that was two different answers because like okay yeah yeah really great at the end of the day

but a podcast really great if you're like commuting somewhere or working so great do you like the infant phase or the toddler phase toddler are funny man they're funny um skip coffee or skip sleeping in skip sleeping in oh really i don't ever sleep in i'm about 5 30 like every day my my internal alarm is like not working like it's always working like if someone asked me like what are your skills like what are you good at i'd say sleeping in that's how i love sleeping in um okay chocolate or chips chocolate dark chocolate I'm both. I'm like,

I'm like, I like, don't know which one. Yeah, like 90, yeah, me too. I feel like it dark. Yeah, and it makes me feel better about eating it, but I love chips so much. Ketchup chips. Um,

be on a talk show or have your own talk show. Ooh, have my own. Yeah. I want to ask people weird questions that they never would normally talk about. Well, you kind of have one.

Ask me a question that you would, if you were on a talk show, if you were a talk show host, what would you ask me? Oh, see, ask you like something very selfish, I'd be like, what's your one beauty product that you will never live without? Oh, um, hmm. Or like if you had to do a microbladed brows or Botox, which one would you give up? Oh, I would give up brows. I would give up brows 100%. Oh, see, I'm always to be

with that. Because I could pencil in these suckers. That's true. Yeah. That's true. What is one beauty product? One beauty product. You had to have one forever. It would be something to do with your skin routine. Oh yeah, absolutely. Like, like it would probably just be moisturizer, to be honest. Moistriser or like sunscreen. Not like a certain one. You don't even care? No. No, just a moisturizer. Yeah. What about you? I mean, I'm such a mask. I feel like mascara can get you through anything. When I was like 13, my parents only let me have mascara. So I saw that on your website. You'd like use it as like eye shadow and I. You can manipulate it. I used it and I would like melt it down and I'd use it. And I'd use it.

use it as an eye shadow and then I'd take the metal end and I'd use it as eyeliner and then I'd use it as mascara. You could really use it for everything. That is very resourceful. I mean your parents tell you you can only have one. I was only allowed eyeliner. I might be the thing. Yeah. I only had an eyeliner. Wow, because that can go dangerously wrong.

It did. It did. It did go dangerously wrong. Would you rather help your kids with English or math? Ah, you just asked me a question of something I would never do anyways. I'm always like if they're not teaching you it in school? Yeah. I'm not doing it for you. Learn. Yeah. The internet kid.

Yeah. Learn my adult. It's 2018. Be a millennial. English would have to be my answer. Okay. Because this is probably the only one I could even help with. What? They would be Jensen. No, no, no, no. What year were you born in? Eighty-five. I was 84. So I'm 84. I'm the cutoff. So I think 83 and 84 is a cutoff. Oh, really? So we're so millennial. Oh, we're okay. Oh, I feel cool. We're just, have you, have you, watched that um there's that comedian that blonde girl she's on netflix right now and she calls it the elder millennial like you're just the elders of it oh that just have lived a little bit what's that no like eliza yeah oh i think i know her time about um Oprah or Ellen Ellen Ellen yeah okay same

oh my gosh so many people would say Oprah I'm she's very inspirational but Ellen's an escape yeah oh yes yes totally um night out or Netflix and chill night out I was gonna ask mascara or foundation, but I already have my answer. That's hard. If you had asked mascara or concealer, it would have been a different conversation. Yeah. Love or lust? Damn.

Yeah, love. Yeah. Love. I would say that to you. But I would think about it for a hot minute. Yeah, you do have to think about it because they do kind of come hand in hand. I think that there's a level of intimacy that's very different with love. And then there's a level of intimacy that only happens with lust.

Yeah. And I think they're two different things. But if I think about it, what do I want to invest in for 50 years? I'm going to go with love. Yeah. Because I think the lust is going to kind of walk out the door sometimes and then come back, right? I'm so into that. I'm so into that.

Okay, tell everybody where they can find you. Your blog. Tell us everywhere. Every thing. My blog's under construction because I'm fighting for my name back. I lost my domain. But I am the bird, or I'm the birds papaya on Instagram.

That's probably the best way to find me. I do have a blog that is just birds papaya, which feels weird because I lost the the, the, the birds papaya. Instagram. find me there that's usually that's my wheelhouse that's it's been nice because as busy as things get it's the one place that still is a little bit instantaneous and i i love it there i story a lot i like to stay relevant so do you like jokes love jokes do you have any no i'm horrible i'm horrible telling them because i laugh halfway through like that's the best yeah no i don't have any like long ones that

actually even make sense i usually just go with what do you call it cheese it's not yours and it's like nacho cheese it's always a good good classic joke cleo i like to hear jokes no mine is too long it's how long well they can edit it out if it's not good okay so um there's these three guys that go up to heaven they pass away so they go up to heaven and there's a gatekeeper to allow them to go inside the heaven castle oh boy

this is already going horribly go on edit out edit the gate we get it they go through the gates yeah and then so the gatekeeper asks the first guy have you ever cheated on your wife and he's like you know what I have to be truthful yes I cheated on her my whole life but I feel really bad about it now and I really regret it they're like okay well sounds good then he goes through the gates of heaven and then he has a bicycle waiting for him he's like okay I guess I deserve that

so then he asked the second guy he's like have you ever cheated on your wife and he's like you know what he's like I did a couple of times but I felt really bad about it and I actually confessed and he's like okay sounds good so goes to the gates of heaven and then he has um like a nice motorcycle and he's like okay sounds good asked the third guy have you ever cheated on his wife and he's like never i can honestly say that i i've never even looked at another woman and he's like okay well sounds good go through the gates of heaven and then there's a beautiful convertible waiting for him so he's driving down this convertible and thinking life is good and then all of a sudden he sees his wife on rollerblades oh that's good clee

that was a good one once we got past the gates it was great yeah once we got past the gate that was really good you're like you know the gates so he they were like yeah you could go that girl owned him yeah what the whole time that you're going on about this I'm like so what you're saying is you can still get into heaven if you cheat I don't like this at all that's stupid but we ended it on with a good laugh so I'm Caitlin Bristow Thank you so much for being here with me today. Now I just want to call you Sarah and Nicole.

You can. Okay. That's still my name. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm Caitlin Bristol.

I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV? Sponsors for this week's Off the Vine. express, go to express.com and use code Caitlin in store or 4841 online for $25 off when you spend $100 and Tommy John. Visit Tommyjohn.com slash fine for 20% off your first order.