Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Audrina Patridge: Setting the Record Straight & Relationship Red Flags

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

OG reality TV star, mama, new author, and Kaitlyn-lookalike Audrina Patridge joins KB to spill all the behind-the-scenes tea from both The Hills and her off-camera life before and after filming. In her new book Choices: To the Hills and Back Again, she’s not holding back about all of the decisions she’s made throughout her life from her relationships and divorce to raising daughter Kirra to onscreen kisses that she would’ve rather passed on. Plus, she’s sharing her first ever dating experiences, the worst parts of being known from reality TV, and what she’d change (or wouldn’t change) if she could reverse time. Last but definitely not least, Kaitlyn’s Hills-related confession is one you’re going to want to hear (and see on the ‘gram).  Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos:  PRIMAL KITCHEN - Go find Primal Kitchen in your local grocery store or visit Primalkitchen.com/offthevine to get 20% off your order! PROGRESSIVE - Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. PELOTON - Start your free 30 day app trial today. Learn more at onepeloton.com.   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Primal Kitchen. It's grilling season, y'all. And I couldn't be happier. My pantry is stocked to the brim with Primal Kitchen necessities for the ideal cookout, like all of their oils, dressing, sauces, and more. Go find Primal Kitchen in your local grocery store or visit primalcitchen.com slash off the vine to get 20% off your order. Progressive, quote at progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust progressive and Peloton.

Start your free 30-day app trial today. Learn more at OnePelaton.com. Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get ready to laugh. Connect and feel empowered with Caitlin and her guests as they sip wine, lots of wine, and get candid. They say vulnerability creates connection. So save the highlight reel for Instagram because when we're among Vino's, there's no filter. It's time to unwind. Here's your host, Caitlin Bristow. Welcome to Off the Vine.

I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today we talk with a TV personality. actress mom sweetie pie star of everyone's favorite throwback reality show coming out with her memoir choices which is really just telling everything we want to know all the behind the scenes of the hills what's real what's fake how she got through a divorce a little spiritual journey she went on we find out why she shaved lauren's cat how that went over and hearing some of her first like her first date ever worst, like the worst parts of being on our TV screens, and we're reversing time to see if she would do it all over again. Everybody enjoy my podcast with Audrina Patridge.

You can probably like just hear my dog. Oh, hi. My dog's just right here going, and I couldn't read it. My dog was barking nonstop. So she's outside now. well then for me i'm like anyone that has a dog and i podcast with them they're like i'm so sorry i'm like don't worry about it's my dogs all the time like they've just ruin everything and but that's okay because they're cute yeah we love them we love them what kind of dog do you have i have a little yorky she's five pounds but i had to take her to the vet the other day she's getting she'll be 12 this year so she's having a lot of health issues i was going to say i feel like you've had this dog for a long time a really long time she's a really tough lady so she's old she's a tough old lady oh i love that that's so cute i was walking i have two golden retrievers and i was walking them around my neighborhood the other day and there was this one sweet man walking his golden retriever they had to go like a step at a time and i was like oh my gosh i was like your sweet baby and he was like she's 13 and like not doing well

and i was like oh i know and then you give him pain medicine so she's been following me around, not knowing where to go. I'm like, okay, I don't like the fact I have to give this to you and you're like not playful, but at least she's not in pain. That's true. She's probably feeling great. We don't need to feel too bad. She's feeling great. Yeah. Gosh. Well, it's so nice to meet you. We have so many mutual friends and like Spidey. I was called Spidey. I became friends with them so randomly like over the internet as we all do these days. And I have like the most ridiculous fear of birds. and he kind of helped me with my fear because of the whole hummingbird thing.

I went to their house. I was like shaking being like, hey, hummingbirds. Oh, did you do it? I've never done it. Oh, my gosh. I did it and I can't believe I did. It made me like appreciate a hummingbird a little more, but still just like absolutely terrified of birds in general.

But it's pretty funny nonetheless. Yeah, I know. I have a thing for fish, but my daughter wanted a beta fish so bad. So we want, this is our third one. And the one time, I don't know how it flopped out of the, how to the fish bowl, but in the morning, we're walking out. I was like, what? Fish isn't there.

And Kira came out. So I called my dad. I'm like, dad, I don't know where the fish is. Like, I don't know what to do. I call my dad for everything whenever I'm freaking out. Yeah. And so I walk around and all of a sudden I feel something between my toes. And it's like, it was already, it's like grossed me out.

I screamed. And then Kira screamed. and we went in the backyard and had a full-on burial for it. Like, oh, but I feel you for the bird thing. I have like a fish thing. I get that. Okay, two questions. Do you think one that that like maybe helped her start to process like loss and

brief and maybe what that could look like or she too young didn't understand? No, she definitely, that was kind of what started the conversation. So now she knows that our dog lady is getting older and she knows she's going to cross over to heaven soon so now she's already planning what she wants when lady goes to heaven so i'm like okay but let's just enjoy lady now and not talk about that yeah we're not there yet you never know one of my friends dogs um actually the girl who comes here to dog set for my dogs her dog is a german shepherd who is 17 and going to be 18 in july wow wow what who did she feed that dog like Kibble. She just feeds them kibble. And I was like, but I feed my dog farmer's dog. And I like give them vitamins and probiotics. And yeah, that's usually how it goes. It's crazy. No. I refuse to give them kibble though. Okay. And then two, my other one last question about fish and then I'll move on to more important things, I promise. But have you seen the people that go in and get the fish to bite their feet for like? Yes. You cannot pay me enough to do that. I'm not. No. No.

I don't even have a fear of fish. Like, I don't love them, but, like, I could never just sit there and let them, like, swim around and nibble on your feet. No. Not for me. I would. I just couldn't. I can't even think about it. It grosses me out.

I get that. Fisher. Wait, do you eat fish? I do. But I get it. It's just the meat. As long as I don't see what I'm eating, like the face. Like, I can't eat fish when they bring it out on a plate.

No. And the eyeballs are still in it? I can't do that. But if it's at sushi or something, I can do that. Okay, let's move away from fish and birds. Yeah, please. But I feel like we're already on a roll for confessions. I have such a good one for you.

Usually I either wait for the middle or like the end, but I have to tell you this because it's so funny. So this is my Facebook page from, oh my gosh. This is literally my ex-X-X boyfriend in my profile. I like I deactivated this account. I just reactivated it just to show you this. Okay. So here are all my profile pictures.

As you can see, I'm very young in all of these. This is like 2009, 2010. Oh, my gosh. A lot of really interesting things happening here. And then we get down to this one. Oh my gosh. My face is, you know what? One, I was with Heidi and Spencer and how my hair was done.

I was pulled back. My hair was darker. Yeah. And he's like, you look like, Caitlin, you guys look the same. And I was like, I get that sometimes. I think our cheekbones or like our structure or eyes. I don't know. So many things.

Like since, so look at the year this was, I don't even know what my friend, February 4th, 2010. Oh, my gosh. This, I made that your, or my profile. picture because that is so funny isn't it funny because because so many people told me i've gotten that a lot too and then now since i have like lighter hair now i get um chichelle stouse yes do you get her too i think we all just kind of have a similar look people have told me i look like you and myly cyrus since 2010 and i got it all the time and then when i dive my hair dark Some people said Megan Fox, which I'll take any day of the week.

Yeah. But when I was light hair, Christel and I were on the same season of Dancing with the Stars. And they'd come to my trailer and be like, Prishel. And I'm like, it's Caitlin. Isn't that funny? Like hair color does ever, like does change your whole look. But yeah, I guess we all have something similar. It's but I mean, I don't know if you see it, but I see, I think what you were saying, like the eyes.

It's like the eyes and the cheek. Yeah. I know. Gosh, my hair is crazy right now. Before I did this or signed on, I was doing, my friend Bree came over and we were doing like a glamorous shoot for a brand that we're both working with. Yeah. So I was like, blow it out, blow it out somehow.

Because I literally had Hollywood curls. And I was like, I got to just think of it. Oh, I love a Hollywood. I want Hollywood girls for my wedding. Ooh, that's, I mean, that's a classic beautiful. I think people wouldn't expect it because I'm not a very classic woman. Like, I'm like. I'm a little more on the edgy side.

Yeah. Did you just cut your bangs recently? No, so I cut, they were way shorter. I cut them and dyed my hair pink in December. Oh, I remember seeing that. So I just have, I've just been letting it grow out. And I took the blonde up to the root, but I just, it's too much. So I was like, just dye it dark, so I don't have to get it done for another six months.

Yeah, that's why I went just straight dark. I was like, I can't do the bleach thing anymore, especially after dancing with the stars. It was so much damage. This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Primal Kitchen. So you probably already know how obsessed I am with Primal Kitchen because I'm a big sauce guy. I think it's been like a month or two maybe since a package arrived on my doorstep with a bunch of their dressings, sauces and oils. And life has just really changed for the better since then. I'm telling you.

I make a pretty delicious buffalo cauliflower that is made a hundred times better by using their buffalo sauce. And like Buffalo Man himself, Jason, is obsessed with the sauce. So you know it's good. But with anything they make, you really actually just can't go wrong. Primal Kitchen products were created to give you more, more flavor, more high quality ingredients, more easy meals together, which is my favorite. I just love sitting down to eat food with the people I love. And it's especially amazing during grilling season when you get to hang outdoors and just cook and eat delicious food. And like I mentioned, my pantry is stocked right now with Primal Kitchen necessities for the ideal cookout. including mayo made with avocado oil, ketchup, sauces, salad dressings made with high quality,

delicious ingredients. Now every time I'm at the grocery store, I'm eyeing what else they may have that I haven't tried. Really, just no misses with Primal Kitchen. So good. Find Primal Kitchen in your local grocery store or visit primalcitchen.com slash off the vine to get 20% off your order. That's primalcitchen.com slash off the vine. I feel like I just could talk to you just like a normal human being like we're not even on an interview or something, but I wanted to say, I know you're releasing a book, which is so exciting. And we're going to talk all about that in a bit. But I have to ask before we dive into this. First of all, I feel like you're opening up about a lot of things in your book as one does when writing a book. Does it feel scary or good to go there or both? Because we're about to go there. I know. Well, it's a little bit of both. It's like I'm excited, but I'm also nervous. But I've never. I've always kept my mouth closed. I've, you know, there's always been so much gossip and, like, lies about me and this and that. And I've never got to set the story straight.

I just let people think whatever they want about me, like the people that know me, know the truth. And if you don't, then whatever, like, I don't care. But this is really given me the chance to set the record straight and from everything that they've seen out there and with the hills and what really happened and scenarios. There's some funny stuff in the book. to about all the hills behind the scenes and like, you know, one of the stories where Kristen and I had a fight over Justin. And I did not want to because I was so beyond that. But for the show, we had to keep fighting. And I was like, this is making me look so stupid and everyone's believing it. Like, I don't want to fight over him. She's like, let's just do it so we can leave. So we get

in the fight. So I talk about all the little things. That's like I feel like the hills is one of those shows where like people still talk about it. People still want to know the behind the scenes. Like it seems like it's really, there's never a time that's too late for you to write a book like this, which is amazing. And on the other side, I love Kristen so much. We've like become friends just from Nashville, but she's just incredible. But that's so interesting to, I think probably a lot of viewers that even somehow they knew it was either scripted or somewhat fake or whatever it was, I think he's still just carrying it straight from the source to be like we had to make this up and say let's just do it and move on because to say that and hear you say that is so crazy even to me I wasn't like

a I've obviously seen the hills but I have not seen every episode and I don't know all the drama but even for me to hear that I'm like that is so wild especially being part of reality TV I know and then with the new hills beginnings it's like I got to the point where I had to step like I have my real real life and then I have my TV life and So you kind of learn the entertainment value to things. And when you need to step it up, whenever you need to just think of it, this is a job. And it can't be boring. So what do I need to do to make it more exciting?

And you just kind of think of it in that way. And then your heart's not broken. Yeah, that's true. I remember thinking that when I didn't know anything about reality TV when I went on Bachelor and Bachelorette, but I remember being like, I want this to be entertaining. Like, I want this season to go down as like the most entertaining season. And after I was like, oh, shit. Like, yeah, then you watch it.

And I'm like, like, there's one scene where I, like, fake dated Sean Stewart. And the producers kept pressuring me to kiss him. If I wanted a third season, it was for everyone. And I was like, I don't want to kiss him, though. So by the end of the night, you know, we were all drinking. And they're like, Adriena, just do it. And I was like, you could just tell him that scene I did not want to, but I was so pressured and forced. And I was that I had to watch.

And I was like, oh, my God, I don't want to watch this. Hollywood. It's some cutthroat things people do. Now, you said earlier in this really surprised me because I don't think a lot of people could have that attitude as you're like, you know, I just didn't care what people thought about me and whatever they thought, the people who know me, know me. I try and be like that. But at the end of the day, like, I would want people to know the truth.

So, I mean, obviously at some point, you're deciding to write a book and want to be able to free yourself of some truths. But how did you do that for so long to just be able to say, like, I know who I am and I don't care what other people think? I think because in the beginning, like I started when I was, like, 18 and a half. And I was so young. Yeah. And in the beginning, I was, I cared so much about what people thought. And I didn't really have thick skin in the beginning.

And so, you know, with Perez Hilton, like just body shaming. And then back then we didn't really have social media. So a lot of the things came from like Instagram, not Instagram, MySpace or whatever it was big back then. And then just whatever you read in the gossip columns, like all the celeb blogger stuff. And so it did hurt my feelings a lot. But there was no way for us back then to set the record straight or to say anything because we didn't have a platform to do that. So there were moments, you know, that's when I learned, okay, I am going to check out. I'm not watching the episodes.

like that's my life. I don't want to read articles about me. I don't want to know anything. Like, what I don't know won't hurt me kind of thing. But then it also, as I got older, it's like, I do kind of need to know now because you kind of want to know what is being said and what's going on out there. Of course. Yeah. I say this on my podcast all the time about how social media now can turn into a business. And like it's like more of your life where you don't have control over the the magazine articles and the threads online and you don't have a voice to stand up for yourself where now you're like, I'm going to write a freaking book. Yeah.

And it's not only just about the hills. Like, it's about who I am and the choices I've made in my life and what paths I've taken from those choices and the good and the bad. And just I want it to help other women out there and people that want to be famous or, you know, even with sourst friendships or toxic relationships. and getting divorced and, like, the ups and downs and just everything that comes with it all, I was just really vulnerable. So it took about a year and a half to do.

Wow. And it was very therapeutic. I, you know, it was really hard for me at times because I never wanted to go back and relive certain things. I just wanted to leave the best. Well, that's kind of the thing when people want to, I've talked about this with my fiancé Jason so many times. He's so much of a person that goes, history is history.

it's in the past for a reason we don't need to go back there and revisit it and I'm like but revisiting is healing and like it does help so I totally understand how somebody wouldn't want to but like you said it was therapeutic for you to go back and do that because the last thing people want to do is relive dark times in their life or mistakes they've made obviously it's fun to relive the good but there's the bad and the ugly and but those things are also so relatable for people to read which is so nice so if your goal is to like empower other women to feel safe and their feelings are what they've gone through or no shame like those are the books I read. I can't wait to hear what you think of my book. Oh, I did you do an audio recording? Yes, I did. Because I like your voice. Oh my gosh. I like, I feel like reading a book out loud when I read it. It sounded so different. We had to change things around and I was like, that doesn't sound right. Saying it out loud. Like let's take that out or change this. Like, you know, I talk. about my daughter a little bit and like at the end of the book I do write a letter to my daughter and I could not get through it I like could not stop crying and I was like why am I so emotional reading

this out loud like I can't stop crying that makes so much sense to me though she's like a little you and you were probably writing a letter to her of what maybe you needed to hear at that age have you ever done a salt float like um no it's called floating right yes I'm obsessed with it. So I was doing like a meditation in one of those the other day. And they were talking, it was like a guided meditation that was playing in it. And it was talking about how like, kind of that same thing. Like what did your younger self need to hear?

And if you could picture that. And I just pictured myself holding my own hand like from when I was five and like walking down a beach. And I just started sobbing in the salt bath. And then the salt is like, I mean, you can't even touch the water into your eyes or you're done for because it's it'll burn the whole hour and i was just a mess right crying with salt water on my face and then i tried to wipe my eyes and i was like ow oh no but i think that's so special because imagine like later down the road however many years even when she can you know

like start reading or or can she read i don't know how old is she five she's five she'll be six in june but she she's starting to read okay i'm not like i don't want her to read this book till she's older you know. But it's like I wrote it for her too like learn from my choices and I'm not ashamed of my past or what I've been through and use it even you know my fans that write me on Instagram all the time and they want advice and they want to know how I did it or how I dealt with this and so it kind of was the opportunity to put all of that in one place where everyone could get it all yeah because you can't exactly respond to each person and each question so you might as well put it all in a book for everyone to read well i can't i can't wait to read it and well things will

naturally come up about your book in this segment that i do it's well it's kind of going to take over the podcast but i do first worst and reverse where we're going to talk about like some of your first if you could reverse time and um that kind of thing so okay i want to know what your first dating experience was like if it was on tv or if it was off tv and you like dated before and and did you want to have your dating life televised like Were you like, yeah, I'm okay with being famous? Let's do this. No. So, I mean, I dated. I started dating and I was 16 going on date, 16, 17, 8. So I dated before the show. Okay. And, you know, like there was one time in high school, this guy took me out and we went to Laguna to Las Priest's house. I think it was 17.

Yeah. And he was like, I have something to show you on the beach. So we walk over there. There's roses everywhere. I'm like, what is this? This is like. Like so romantic. Oh, my gosh. And I was like, okay, he's setting the standards really high because, you know, I haven't been on that many dates. Right. But I will never forget that particular date. And then, you know, I met Justin before the Hills and we dated before. So I brought him on to the show.

Oh. So, okay, wait. So you, wait, we can't just gloss over rose pedal guy. We just got rid of him after that. Well, after that date, I just, I don't know. And I was young and I was like, I don't really want a boyfriend. Like, I don't have a relationship. And then you met Justin and, okay, I didn't know this.

So did you, because I think I read somewhere that you wanted to be an actress before you went on reality TV. So was that like, was that wanting to be a stepping stone for you or you're like, screw at 180. Let's do reality TV. Well, so I was already, I was living in L.A. And I kind of, I was going on auditions for like movies and music videos and different TV shows, commercials. Yeah. And when I got approached for the hills at the pool, at that point, reality TV wasn't like anything. I didn't know what reality TV was really.

I mean, Laguna Beach was around, but I never even watched that. You know, I just was never into any of that. So I didn't know what I was in for, but then it kind of gave me the opportunity to be like, okay, well, this will make me comfortable in front of the cameras. And I'm just going to do it and see what happens. And then three weeks later, we started filming. and it was definitely like a culture shock. I was like, what?

This is so weird. I'm such a private person and I have to sit here and like you're trying to pull my feelings out. Like, I have to tell you what I feel. Right. Isn't that crazy? But that probably like, how old are you, 18? Yeah, like 18 and a half, 19, yeah. Like you said, that being pulled out of you at the age of 18, probably like matured you in so many ways.

would mature me like i even just being on the bachelorette and talking about my feelings every day i was like wow i really know who i am at the end of this yeah but that must have been so interesting to kind of get to know who you were on television yeah well and a lot of the times the producers were almost like our therapist you know they would sit you down and if you didn't want to have a conversation with someone which in real life you would be like no you're kind like i have nothing else to say to you like you go your way i go my way yeah but on the show they're like nope you guys are you both having coffee tomorrow and you're going to hash it out and ask each other why this why that and i was like i don't do this like i don't want it i'm not confrontational yeah but you know on

on any reality tv you i'm sure you know like you have to be opinionated you have to be confrontational you can't hold back yeah that it kind of forced you to do that while staying i feel like you stayed true to yourself though at the same time which is really hard to do like you probably were forced, of course, by producers to be that certain role that you needed to be and have the arguments you needed to have. But I feel like you were one of the ones that stayed true to yourself. Yeah, I was, I've always been really consistent, very honest, straight forward. And I'm not a fake person. Yeah. So I just, I am who I am. And that's pretty much it. And my parents, you know, my whole family is around me and were really close. So even if I was in L.A.,

and they didn't hear from me for a few days. They'd be like, okay, get your butt home for a few days. Get out of Hollywood. Like, you're not group. Gosh. I mean, that could make the world of a difference. Having the people that humble you and ground you, be able to call it out and say you're coming home for a few days.

And then you could just like surround yourself with the people who know you and then go back and do what you got to do for your career, you know? It's just sets the tone and keeps your head in the right place. Yeah. How long did you and Justin date for? A long time. right? Yeah, like five years. Wow. I know. So we met when I worked at Keote Studios, I was a receptionist. And I talk about all of this in the book, but I'll give me the

joke. He was working on assisting hair on a Stephen Mizeel shoot from Madonna. And I was a receptionist and he kept walking back and forth in front of my desk. By the end of the day, he gave me his number. He wanted to do my hair. He's the one who died at like super dark. And then I just had to stay dark for the, because I was the only brew. not. But yeah, we dated through, he filmed during first season, but he wasn't like a camera guy and it just didn't really go well. So we didn't use it. And I was like, okay, we'll like, we'll just date off camera. Right, right. It's okay. And then I was still with him during third season. So then he was like, okay, now I kind of get what it's like just from you doing it. Like, I think I'm comfortable

to film with you now. So then I brought him on third season. Got it. Gosh, this all makes, you want to go back and watch all of it. And now, are you single or are you dating? I've been single for like two years, two or three years. Yeah. I mean, because you've got your little Kira and you probably are just like, you know, dating isn't a priority anymore. She is, but it must also be really hard to date in your position and like with a daughter

who is literally your little world. I know. And I have my daughter 24-7. she's my priority like my life revolves around her but my mom did say like how are you supposed to meet anyone if you stay home all the time and you're in bed at eight o'clock i'm like i just i don't know like i don't do dating sites so i'm making more of an effort to go out again and meet someone and i've i've really went through a like a long healing process the last like four years so i think i'm actually ready my heart's open and i'm ready that's and you talk about this in your book too

Yeah. Okay, good. This week's episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by progressive insurance. Now, let's face it, sometimes multitasking can be very overwhelming, like when your favorite podcast is playing, and the person next to you is chit-chatting away, and your car fan is blasting all while you're just trying to find a perfect parking spot. But then again, sometimes multitasking is easy, like quoting with progressive insurance. They do all the hard work of comparing rates so you can find a great rate that works for you, even if it's not with them. Give their nifty comparison tool a try, and you might just find that getting the rate and

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states or situations. Price is varied based on how you buy. Okay, I know my vinos are well aware of how much I love, you know, getting an exercise in. I'm serious when I say it's just about feeling strong, feeling good in my body, not about the way I look. That's really shifted my brain. Though, I will say my booty in arms, you know what?

They're looking pretty good. They feel nice when I'm working out. Okay, get over yourself, Caitlin. But getting my butt to the gym or to a class, definitely not always realistic, especially with how busy I am, and just no time or desire really to jump in my car every day to head to a class. And that's why I'm still obsessed with my Peloton bike and my Peloton app, just as in love as the day I got it, which was actually years ago now.

Peloton classes are, of course, so convenient because you can do them whenever, wherever you want. But there's so much that makes Peloton that much better. And all of their instructors are incredible, like not even just leading workout classes, but their personalities do. I just want to be friends with them. And Peloton has the best music, whether you're looking for a yoga class or run or a strength workout. They even have classes with just Justin Bieber music. So we all know I've taken those classes multiple times. Peloton works with your schedule, whether you have five minutes or an hour plus you'll never have an awkward encounter in the locker room again peloton has workouts you'll crave anytime anywhere start your free 30-day app trial today learn more at one peloton

dot com new members only terms apply what is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of your daughter oh my goodness um love she's just unconditional pure love it's It's like what your animal is, but times a million. Like, it's just, you can't even explain it. When you have a child, which I'm sure you will, they don't get it, look in their eyes and it's just there's nothing that compares to your child. I mean, I get so obsessed with all my best friends, kids, all my best friends and my sister have kids and I'm always just like,

how am I going to, like, how is my heart going to grow even more than it already is for these kids? So I can't even imagine. What have you learned about yourself from being a mom? I've learned, like, I've always been a very patient person, but I've realized when people around me have seen, you know, whenever she was going through her terrible twos and this and that, like, I have a lot of patience and I'm really, really good at handling, like, high energy situations.

Yeah. Which maybe it's from filming so much on the hills. I don't know. It's always very dramatic. So I'm used to like, yeah. This is child's play. This is a drama. That's so funny.

If your daughter wanted to grow up and do reality TV, what would you say? I mean, I would say no. Or it's like, okay, but who knows by that time, what, you know, reality. She wants to, now it's like YouTube videos for kids. They want to have their own YouTube show. Oh, yeah. But I mean, I would teach her from my experience and just what not to do. And one day I will show her the.

and be like, okay, this, let's sit down and watch this because you're old enough now and I know you're going to sneak it and try to watch it on your own. I'd rather watch it with her and kind of explain to her what not to do. Yeah. If anything, she could like, she could be like a game changer in the reality TV world learning from the best of the best. Maybe. Um, okay, so moving on to, we did the first, moving on to the worst. What was the worst part for you about being on reality TV. I mean, I know there's a lot of ups and downs and, you know, peaks and valleys that come with it. But I think the worst is just I started having so many trust issues and not knowing who was really my friend and who wasn't who was using me. Because as soon as the show

ended, so many people disappeared because I didn't have anything to give them anymore or free trips to take them on or they weren't like, you know, invited to go to all these events with me. It's like they don't need you anymore. So, and even dating, it's like, you know, all the trust issues. Like, can I, I don't trust you. Like, what do you want for me kind of thing? Yeah. That makes complete sense. I think people have those feelings alone, even not from being on television. So that's like a whole other element that's added when you're like, is it because I could bring something to the table or are you actually? loving me for me. Did you watch me on TV, especially in that time when, like you said,

you could take them places and do these trips and then all of a sudden they disappear when you don't. You're like, okay. Yeah. I mean, I had lots of friends back then and I took them on all different shows. I like, I'm so I love friends and people and, you know, but now my circle is so small and like I like it like that. Totally. Totally. Yeah, you've weaned out the bad ones. That's, I mean, in your book choices you tell all about like what is authentic and what is fake from the show which I'm sure the show turns into your real life as well and like how did you keep track of what was real and what was authentic and what was fake and drama and for the show like sometimes it was hard even this the past two recent seasons you know it's like you you kind of get to

these blurred lines of friendships where it's like, wait, I thought like we had each other's back in like real life. And then the producers are asking you to do things that are good for the show. So it's like, did you really mean that? Or did you do it for the show? Like, can I trust you? Can I not trust you? Like, are you really my friend? Or are you just like screwing me over? Like, you're never going to talk after the show again. For ratings. Yeah. I click for ratings. And I, and I, I, and I, I, and I, again, I understood the entertainment value of it, but there were some severed friendships because of it, you know, and it's, I wish I could say that it wasn't like that anymore, but like even, you know, the last season we filmed was still kind of like that.

Oh, that's so hard. Are you still friends with any of the producers? Because sometimes that's hard to be friends with them too. When you have to be able to compartmentalize that they have a job to do and they're really good at their job, but they also could be like a friend in real life. I know. And I did become really close with a lot of the producers because I understood where they were coming from. They're trying to make a good TV show.

And if we kept saying, no, I'm not doing that. No, I'm not saying this, but we have nothing to give. Then there's no TV show. Right. There's no entertainment. Yeah.

So I think we had a mutual understanding. I talked to some of them. Yeah. You do. That's, yeah, same. I've been through like Helen back with some producers and it was so hard for me because I am like such an open book and I overshare and a lot of times I want to just rip on producers and say like my mental health was so awful

from being manipulated and I went into this but then I you know see that they're all working and they're like providing for their family and they're taking away so much from their life to go make a TV show and it's hard to balance that like okay you you really really screwed be over but you're also doing your job and like giving up so much for your life it's so hard for me to do that but yeah i feel you i'm right there with you yeah it's it's so tricky whenever you're in the moment it's so emotional and it's like the end of the world is happening but then you look back and you have a risk a call a mutual respect for each other well because after i came off on the bachelorette i was like i hate every producer i hope this show shuts down i can't believe what you did to me

And now, like, seven years later, I've, like, lived so much of what I've wanted to do at my dream career. And I, like, look back and I like, thank you. I know. I know. It's like, we take a lot of things for granted. But at the time, like, it was affecting you mentally or, you know, but it forced you to grow as a person and the choices you make. It's like, I talk a lot about that in the book, too. What about the choice you made when you were allergic to cats and you shaved Lauren Conrad's cat without telling her? Did she notice that? Was she? like who shaved my cat what is the story so Lauren's cat which I actually I had it like where I worked we always had like these cats would be everywhere so I was like Lauren Jason like I had two cats

I was like there's another litter do you guys want a cat so she got one but it was the fluffiest cat and she never it was never groomed and it always had dingleberries always and it always chose to lay on my pillow and my bedroom and it drove me crazy because I I got pink eye and I was like, no, that's it. I've had enough. Like, I'm taking the cat to the groomers and it's just, it needs to be shaped. Like, it needs to, it needs a haircut.

See, that's a story that needed context because I was like, what? She just shaved Lauren's cat. Was it like a revenge thing? If you were getting pink eye from dingleberries, I would shave that shit too. Yeah. And it loved my bed. So even if my door was closed, somehow it ended up in my room all the time. And I was also allergic.

So it didn't help. So I took the cat to the groomers and I was like, what can you do with it? It's so fluffy and like it needs some help. Yeah. So they, the producers and they're like, it'd be funny. Like, let's shave it like, have them cut it, like give a haircut like a lion. So I was like, okay, is Lauren going to kill me? And they're like, it'll be good for a camera.

And I'm like, all right. So my sister went with me and they cut it like a lion. And when she walked or groomed it, when she walked in, she was like, Oh, my God, my cat. And she was really like, what did you do? But then she loved it. Oh, good. So it was a win-win for everybody.

No more d'Awheres and the cat look cute. Yeah. Oh, that's so, I'm really glad I asked about that. Okay. So let's go in if you could reverse time. Would you do the hills again? Why or why not? Yes, I would.

Because even though we all had her ups and downs and this hate-love friendship, I guess like you were like this dysfunctional family that stuck together and you know I feel like it for me as a person I grew so much from it and learned so much about myself and it pushed me it challenged me in so many ways yeah brought so many opportunities but if yeah if I could go back I would do it again but now having reality TV knowledge because we didn't have a show to watch and prepare for we were just thrown in you were the like you were preparing other people for reality TV. Yeah. I think if we were to go back, I would be, I'd be ready for it. You're literally the like reality TV OGs for everyone. I think that's why people still are

fascinated with it or still, you know, want to follow along people's journeys because who didn't watch, I mean, besides me, but who didn't watch this show? Like, I said, I mean, I still bed here and there. But it's, it was just such a, you know, a hit. And it was because people were so relatable because you were real people. It was real. I just recently watched. an episode and when I lived with Lauren like we literally got home at three or four every morning went out every night and we'd have to film at seven or eight and we literally would wake up with half makeup on just roll out of bed and go downstairs we didn't do we didn't get hair and makeup done I was going to ask that you didn't no no way you didn't get hair makeup or wardrobe or

anything you're just on your own we were on our own especially in the beginning towards the end for special events we had it done or you know but no and i saw that and i was like we didn't even care about how we looked we just got out of bed and rolled downstairs and we're like i'm so hung over like we just did not care it was so real in that way yeah it was like there's stage drama but also you're real people doing real things feeling real emotions so and okay so you've got this book coming out when does it come out and where can people get it so it comes out july 26th yeah And I'm pretty sure you can get it a lot of different places. There's a link on my Instagram.

You could pre-order it. But Simon & Schuster, I think it's going to be available everywhere, really. That's amazing. And it's called choices. And what do you think is the most important lesson that people would learn reading it? When they close that book, they're going to say. Well, I hope they're going to get a lot from it, especially with toxic relationships and knowing when to walk away and what the red flag. are even for friendships and in life in life in general when to walk away and not to listen to that

voice inside it's it's like very inspirational too i love that i love a good inspirational book what what do you think is the biggest red flag in a relationship well i for me personally like even after my divorce dating some guys that buy for me a red flag is whenever they're not showing they're perfect they're too perfect at the beginning and it's like okay you're saying everything right you're doing everything right like there's got to be something usually around three months the real them kind of come out and you're like there it is isn't that the truth it's funny because a lot of people in their mind would say a red flag is going to be like you know like doesn't pay for something or but i'm with you the red flags are when they're too perfect and you're like that's like

there's no self-deprecation or like self-awareness or like realness to it. Where's the real you? Yeah. Yeah. It's not a fun waiting game to wait for the real person to come up. Yeah. And usually if someone drinks, you kind of see the real them, but the guys that drink and can still hide that, those are the scary ones.

Yeah. That's the real talent that should scary. That's true. And again, it's the three to six month mark that you really kind of see someone's true colors and know if you're compatible that's what i always try to tell my sister she you know she's in the dating world and she'll be like i just had the most amazing first date and then they like go all in and it moves really fast and then after the three month mark or the six it's like wait what happened and i'm like oh my gosh every time you just got to have the patience to like you know

if in the in the grand scheme of things six months goes by like that three months goes by so fast so give yourself that patience to see the real person and use it to it like let it flow don't rush because a lot of people fall in love fast and fall out of love fast it's like you got to get to know the person and not just do it all in the first like few months yeah and i find it imperfections attractive on men like if they're going to be perfect i'm like i know i know give me the character yeah give me the character um okay i got a quick game for you before i let you go it's called the game of choices. So of course, your new book is called Choices. So I'm going to make you make some right now. Basically, this is a would you rather. Would you rather film a reality dating show or a reality

competition show? Hmm. A dating show. Really? Yeah. I think because I'm so ready for love now. That's true. What's out there. That's true. You've done like enough self-reflecting and you've gone through like so many ups and downs and learned what you want who you want you probably have never been more clear that's true i'm yes i could i could i'd watch that dating show what about what about specifically going on the bachelorette would you be the bachelorette okay i have never i so watched like one or two episodes and i feel so bad for it to say this but i just i barely watch the hills it's okay okay so it's okay yeah i need to watch it to know like how it would be how was it you. It was hell, but. It's like too many options, right? It's a lot. And then you're like constantly

like upsetting people. But it was, it's fun and it's hard and it's all the things that a dating reality TV show would be anyways. But I just had to ask. Wait, what would, okay, everybody does a limo entrance like coming out of the limo when they meet the bachelor, the bachelor at they're standing there. You come out of the limo. You do it. What would be your limo entrance? Would you like play it cool? Would you have a joke? Would you like, what would you do? Oh, like the first time you meet him. Yeah. To try to impress him. Yeah. Well, do you find anything out about that person beforehand or you just don't even know his personality? Yeah, you know. Like usually the bachelor will come from like the previous season. So you'll really have gotten to know him on the last season. You watch it and then you meet him and when you come out of the limo. Like gosh, that's tough. Like I don't even know. I think. Well, would you do like some people dress up or do like a gimmick or do like a gimmick or. Or would you just be like, I, this is me. And I feel like I would just kind of be me.

But like, I'm like you. I'm a little edgy, but I'm a little like silly. And, but I like personality. And I do take it to that to the next level sometimes, you know. So depending on where he was from, I would probably do some kind of joke. But I would definitely dress like, just be me. Yeah, I like that. I know so many girls wear like these gowns out of the limo.

And I was like, I'm going to wear a little tight cocktail dress. I like it. Okay. Would you rather be set up on a date by a friend or a dating app? I think I know the answer to this one. By a friend. Yeah. Okay.

What about go on a date with your celebrity crush or get to work in a movie with your celebrity crush? Work in a movie. Yeah. With my celebrity crush. Do you have a celebrity crush? Do people do that anymore? Yes. And I just was crushed by the news the other day about my celebrity crush.

What? What happened? Also, so I'm obsessed with the Vikings and the last kingdom and I just finished the last kingdom in Utrid and the last kingdom is like perfection for me. I love that. Yeah. And so nobody really knows who he is yet because it's like everybody's just starting to be obsessed with the last kingdom. I was like, wait, I need to meet him. Like, what's his, what's, who is he in real life is like, you know, sometimes a movie character is very different who they are in real life.

Yeah. But he's very attractive, Alexander Draymond. And so I was like, wait, he's, I think he's single. Yeah. I asked my friend, we have mutual friends. You're like, yeah, I think he's single. But then I saw people the other day on People magazine that him and Alice and Williams just had a baby together. And I was like, okay, he is not single.

Damn it. Now I need to find a new Utreb. Well, we'll keep watching shows like that. We'll find you one. Yeah. Okay. Would you rather live in a new city each month or never vacation again? I would. That's hard. I was on a travel show and I literally was in a different city every day almost for two years.

What travel show? It was exhausting. I was the host of First Look on NBC. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it was exhausting. That is exhausting. So I might say I'd rather just be in one place, like one amazing place forever. That's fair enough. Okay. Would you rather find true love or win the lottery? Find true love. Yeah. Also, you were on Dancing with the Stars. When was that? That was like 2010, 2009 or 10.

I think it was like season nine. That's when you were my profile picture. That's a hard show. Was it so hard for you as well? It was so hard and I feel like it was so different than it seems a little more fun now, you know? But back then, like I actually was dancing on a sprained ankle and I couldn't walk on So before we danced, I literally had to put vite, like this numbing vikin cream on my heel, wrap my ankle up so I was able to dance. Oh my gosh.

But then I got voted off. Even though we had all nines, I was so bummed out. That's crazy because that's one step further than me. I had tendonitis and I would get like steroid shots in it. Okay. And then wrap it and tape it and numb it to go out there. but I can't imagine if it was sprained. Oh, it was really bad.

Well, you're just... And then when we had to fly, my feet literally looked like meatloaf. They were so swollen and I could not fit into any heels, like nothing. I've got some pretty disgusting foot photos on my, on my phone that sometimes I look back on and I was like, oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for coming on my podcast. It was so lovely to talk to you and you're just as sweet as I thought you would be.

So thank you. And I'm so excited for everyone to read your book and to feel inspired by it. So thank you. And I can't wait to talk to you soon. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Off the Vine. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow on your favorite podcast platform.

And we'll see you next Tuesday. Hi, podcast listeners. This is Kelty from the Lady Gang podcast with over 150 million downloads and about 150 negative reviews on iTunes. You know that people either love us or they hate us and that makes a great show. Lady Gang is a twice weekly podcast where we help you feel less alone in your life with the help of our favorite reality stars and housewives, but mostly me and my two friends, Becca and Jack, talk about the ugly and ridiculous and crazy things that happen in our lady life. come get inspired, come get a virtual podcast hug from us every Tuesday and Thursday, wherever you get your podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever else you listen. See you there.