Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Ballroom Bristowe

Episode Date: August 18, 2020

Kaitlyn is joined today by boyfriend and dog father, Jason Tartick! Jason tells us the story of how Kaitlyn received the nickname, Ballsy Bristrowe, with Jason’s family and then they talk about their love for Big Brother, the upcoming Bachelorette season and who they would pick to replace Chris Harrison as host. Later, Kaitlyn answers Jason’s and fan’s questions about going on Dancing With the Stars! GEICO – Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance AARON’S FURNITURE – Before you go to a store, head to apply.arrons.com to discover your leasing power ALBERT – Install Albert from the App Store or Google Play today and get a bonus of up to $40 when you start an annual subscription to Albert Genius HOME DEPOT – You can save even more on the styles you love when you use code OFFTHEVINE10 at checkoutSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. Hey everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. All right, Jason Tardick. Caitlin Ballsy, Kaybone, Bristow. Do people know why you say Balsey? Have we ever talked about that? No, I don't think so, but it's really funny. It is actually really funny. I'll tell the story real quickly. So let me set it up by saying, and then you tell a story. You set it. I'll set it up by saying Jason's family all has nicknames for one another, including Stephen's husband, Billy, has a nickname. And I was always like, I know I'll make it in the fam when I have a nickname. Yeah. And you kept pressure. You're like, I need a nickname. I need a nickname. And I kept pushing for like something like huge legend, like big beauty.

And then. And so you were asking, it was, I believe it was like you're asking for the password for our Wi-Fi. Yeah, it was our dad's golf trip. Dad's golf trip. And you wanted the password for the Wi-Fi. For the hot spot. For the hot spot. Yeah. So my dad's password, of course, like every dad is like 7-2 WWC, lowercase Z, like ridiculous, right? So my dad kind of chirps my dad. Like, oh, this is an easy password.

My dad kind of chirps my dad. And my dad's like, just leave it. Leave me alone. Life goes on. Well, then Caitlin gives the podcast or gives the phone back. Gives the phone back. Whoa. Sunday, huh?

And my dad tries to use the hot spot, like literally hours. later. And he's like, I can't get in this hot spot. Like, what is going on? And goes back to Caitlin, Caitlin, why can't, what's going on? Did you do something to the, like my hotspot? Yeah, your password's now Tardick. It's super simple. And he goes, you changed my password and didn't tell me. He goes, that's pretty baldy. And you know, you go, yeah, I mean, it's just, it's simple. You'll never forget it. Tartick won. He goes, Jesus, Bristol, that's pretty ballsy. And we just all started dying laughing. And my dad goes, that's your nickname. name. Ballsie Bristow. Except he got my last name wrong as a joke. He called me

Balzy Brisco. And then I was like, oh, I will, I will laugh if that's the nickname that sticks. So you now have a few nicknames, but one of them is Balzy Bristow. And your mom calls me K-Bone, which is... I called you K-Bone. I originated my mom. Everyone calls you K-Bone, except my dad calls you Balsie. I know, but you're having your mom call me K-Bone is a true compliment. That's, yeah, you're in. Are we already done this bottle of wine? No, it's only halfway through. Cheers.

Thanks for podcasting with me. It is good to be back. It's been a while. Do you want to hear my intro for you? Yes, let's hear it. You guys know him and love him. He's the father of my dog children, the ying to my yang, my favorite drinking buddy, the one and only, Jason Tardick. Thank you for that intro.

welcome i'm huge on intros when i do the real talks like i want to pump people up okay see i've been changing the game a little bit where i actually just jump right into things on the podcast now so somebody will be on the zoom call i'll log on and i'll just start talking that's the podcast then i'll finish the podcast then i'll go back to the beginning and do a huge intro because if there's something really exciting coming up in the podcast i'll be like we talk about this we get into this she even tells me this see that's why you're the pro but for me when I like prepare for it. You do live? I do live in the I would say the hardest thing about the whole live. The hardest thing is memorizing that first intro. You memorize it? Mm-hmm.

Not that. Yeah. Live is so different though because it's got to be like stripped it. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Not like scripted but thought. This podcast are like conversational, which is fucking awesome. Yeah. I'm a big, big conversationalist. Yeah, that's your thing. And you're super quick with it. Yeah. Anyways, we got a lot of cover in this podcast. Let's go. We're going to talk about what we've been doing in quarantine, even though I'm pretty sure everyone knows because we share our lives. Yeah.

Well, I don't know. We just had a Nats weekend of the lake. I just wanted to just talk about that. It was so nice. Jason thinks there's like some money laundering going on there like cartel. So yeah, since, uh, you know, since quarantine, I'm big on conspiracies. You're not, though. I am, though.

Since quarantine, I'm diving into conspiracies. Okay. So do you think COVID's real? Yeah, 100%. Okay. COVID's real. I'm talking about historical things, but this is also a current thing. We're on this lake.

Beautiful lake in the middle of nowhere. There's not one, like, houses don't exist. Why do houses not exist out here? And then I, there's like these small little restaurants in 100% Ruth 2.0 works at one of the restaurants. And I am convinced for sure in a weird world, there's something going on there. So anyway, conspiracy, I'm into conspiracies lately. Jason was at the restaurant and Ruth, well, we don't know what her real name is, but we call her Ruth because she reminds us of Ruth from the Ozark. She yells down, what was his name, Jake?

in the middle of the restaurant ordering. Jake, come the f*** back. I was like, what? Now, Jake, you get the back here. I was like, this is Ruth. It's amazing. Unbelievable. It really just like.

There's so many conspirators. In the Wayfair thing? I mean, we can go into so I can all day go into conspiracies. Not that I believe in all of them. I'm just very intrigued by them. Did you like that podcast we listened to on the way home from the lake? Yeah, it's pretty good. It's called you're wrong about.

And they go into different topics about what you're wrong about. And they've, it's not conspiracy theories. It's factual like. research. Yeah, it's pretty good. And they're well-spoken and I really enjoyed it. It's pretty good. Anyways, if you guys want to listen to a different podcast. I'd dare you. I would recommend you

don't, but if you have to. Different styles. All right, we're going to take a break for a quick question. Did you know that right now, Geico is offering an extra 15% credit on car, motorcycle, and RV policies? That's 15% on top of the money Geico could already save you. So what's you waiting for? You little pup to make you breakfast in bed with Belgian waffles and a fresh fruit compote.

Now, as nice as that sounds, that's probably never going to happen. But at least there's never been a better time to switch to GEICO. Save an extra 15% when you switch by October 7th. Visit GEICO.com to learn more. Anyways, we also have a lot to talk about in the Bachelor world because that is a shit show. It is absolutely may have. Which is great TV. It's a beautiful.

There's a lot of competition out there right now. And The Bachelor, when you think they could be in trouble, given the competition, especially with all the way things are streaming. Yeah, dance on the stars. Boom. They show up. Do you hurt your hand doing that? No, it felt good.

Pino is just on another level tonight. Explain to me how we were just talking about The Bachelor and dancing. You're just like, is Dancing with the Stars on your mind that much? Yes. You're just like, yeah, Dancing with Stars. Yeah, because Dancing with the Stars is taking over Bachelor Mondays. Oh, okay. See, that's how quick winning you are.

It took me a minute. No, I'm thinking like, I don't even, you know, we're still, we're loyal to this French. I don't want to drop on names. We all know the other names out there. Yeah, like Big Brother, which I can't wait to watch. That's not a competitor. It is in my mind.

Man, if Big Brother or Bachelor was on, what would you watch? I honestly, I hate to say this, but Big Brother for sure. We'd record The Bachelor, watch Big Brother, and watch Bachelor later. We'd watch them both, but Big Brother is probably one of my new favorite shows of all time. We're rooting for of the All-Stars. Nicole. F or A? I want Team Nichols.

Team Nichols. I'm rooting for Danny and Nichols. Yeah. I still need to watch and that will change, but. For those who don't watch, we can keep going on. Oh, my gosh, you guys. We're in a pool. We're in a pool with the Big Brother franchise.

Okay. Why are you picking your nose? I'm itching it. You have an itch on your nose? Yeah. You've never had one? I don't know. You've never had an itchy nose.

No, usually in the inside, I have an itchy nose and I do the little head down trying to make sure people can't see. But you're just like a little, you're taking your noun legitimately nosy. You get your knuckle off. Okay, who does not, who doesn't, if you don't dig for, if you don't dig, if you don't take, is that an insult? I have a small nose. I said you have a larger nose than me. I'm totally kidding. But anyone who says they don't dig for gold at some point in their time, like, you're lying.

Do you also know that I have a thing for big noses? Are you saying I have a big nose? Yeah, you do have a little bit of a big nose. It's a great nose. I think my nose. is slightly larger, but proportionate to my head. Yes, agreed. What size do you think my head is?

Like medium or large or what? No, the sizes. You don't know the sizes of a hat? What are you, 38? Oh, Jesus. I don't know what that is. No, it's like 6, 7, 7, 8th, 7 and 3, 8, 7 and 2 ways, 1,8. You're a 9 and 1⁄2.

You're a 9 and 1⁄2. Okay, never mind. Let's keep going. Next conversation. Is it warm in here? It is. Actually, I don't think the AC works in this room. A little sweaty going out.

You know what? AC units are not cheap and we need a new one. Yeah, we do. Anywho, Bachelor, let's dive in. Becca and Garrett. Becca and Garrett, where do you want to start? I mean, I'll take any angle here. Where do you want to go?

I think it's their business if they broke up or not. And I think clearly they're waiting until they're ready to talk about it. And it's their business to tell. But until then, we will talk about it ourselves. I think it's fantastic. What I love to see is that they are one of the first couples that broke up that have not announced it because they're like, listen, it's our world. We'll do what we want. at first I thought for sure that they were just waiting until the contract so she could keep

the ring because on I think August 4th or 7th, that's the two-year expiration, which I would respect that. Which I would respect the shit out of that. Anyone who wouldn't do that is just do like two weeks, you're good. Why wouldn't you just wait? The other thing I can't stand from a business perspective is usually when you see a media reliable source said. It's one of two things. It's either an insider source that is someone representing their PR team and they've asked them to do it. or it's likely someone that is collusion of knowing what's happening and using it to their advantage and then backdooring that person to get paid by the media company to confirm 100% it's true.

And if that's the case, which I think it is because of the way Becca responded saying like, who's your reliable source? She wouldn't have done that if it was like a pay-to-air company, which makes me really pissed off. So it makes me think maybe they just haven't broken up yet and they're working through some stuff. And she's like, who are you to announce our breakup when we're working through this? That could be the case. Conspiracy on the media. When they say reliable source, it is confirmed.

They have to confirm it. Otherwise, someone like E-News would not report on it. Do you know that I still think to this day one of my good friends spoke to media about me? I spoke to magazines. That's about what do you mean with you? What do you do anything? I'm just saying what they speak about. Like my past or a couple things.

Yeah. Anytime you read, you read Reliable Source. It's a PR company or it's someone making a quick buck. that has confirmation that's which really irritates me yeah because do you believe in karma yeah yeah 100 that is like that's that's that's just bad karma that's just bad energy bad juju like it's also the business which is sick which is you know what I don't know it is what it is that worth it is it I mean if you're gonna be that person to do it I think I think anybody in life that thinks about short term quick ways to make money

you're doing the wrong thing like that's a short-term quick way to make money there's no longevity in there because if you burn one bridge in that world you're done yeah do you think do you think on the show becca had political conversations with people to see who she'd end up with or do you think she found out about this stuff later yeah we were actually we were talking about this right i don't think that she did and the reason i'll never forget it it's when we were on our two on one date and socially i lean pretty hard left and then fiscally i lean pretty hard left and then fiscally i lean a little bit right, but I lean harder left on social issues than I do fiscally on those issues. So I remember, Googling fiscally, that, thinking the house was not the same way, but, you know,

the top four was not the same way. And so I remember, you know, of course, thinking like, should I tell Becca, like, maybe you should look into this stuff. But I was like, no, it's not my place. It's not the right thing for me to do it. I'm not going to do it. And I'll never forget. Nobody wants to be the tattletail on that show. No, I'm on the three on one date. Leo gets sent home during the day. I'm on the boat. Bye Felicia.

Do people still say that? I don't think. Is that a you and Bree thing? No. Oh my God, you don't even know it by Felicia's? No. Dead. What is it?

Dead. What is it? Is it like a meme? Go on with your story. I'll show you. Okay. So we're in the boat. Becca's in the middle.

Well, uh, wheels is on my, we were just talking about Wells. So wheels is on my left. I'm on the right. And she had made it comment. comment like about politics like it almost inferring like yeah all you guys like you guys are anti you know Trump right like it was something like that I can't remember exactly but something assuming and I will never forget wills and I looking directly across each other like bold-eyed because you know wills and I agree on a lot of things and just like whoa and so we're kind of like

okay where do we go with this I said hey Becca this is where I stand on things but it is your you need to do whatever you got to do to figure out where everyone else stands on things to see if it's a I fit. Who knows what, you know, I don't know, who knows whatever happened. But either way, I think the Beck of Garrett thing, one of the things that's, I guess, if they did break up, which is upsetting, is that I could tell you, you take all that stuff out of it, which is a hard thing that just completely removed. They date, like, you look back at the season, they were so in love.

I've seen them together. We've seen them together post show. So in love. And, um, it's, it's, it's. It's frustrating to hear that that's likely the case that they broke up. Because, I mean, this is what I've said to you and this is what I believe is that you can't help who you love. You can't. And political things can get in the way.

Your parents are a great example of having different belief systems and different religions and different backgrounds who make it work. It can happen and they love each other so much. Yeah, but the thing is for sure, they have completely different perspectives, but the one thing is that they very, very much respect one another's. positions it's not yeah they both of them that said it is not easy to be in a marriage with opposite opinions no strongly opposite opinions but it is something that should be balanced and you should have respect for one another's position and if you have respect for one another's position then you should find a happy medium and maybe that's what the you know country needs more of the problem is some of these areas of opposite positions bleed into very very very very strong

principle issues principal issues that aren't we will make it work because I love you principal issues this defines who you are and that's not

what I want to be with right and that's I mean again we haven't spoke to them this deeply so we haven't talked to them at all

we have not I haven't talked to them in any capacity other than Garrett will text me here and there or Becca like oh you guys are well

oh she still text you? You in love with her still? Do you like her more than a friend? This is so weird no anyways

what a weird thing to say. Hell no. Bye Felicia. The ultimate dismissal of anyone bugging the hell out of you. The ultimate What did she say?

Dismissal of anyone bugging the hell out of you. It's an ice cube line. Yeah. Bye Felicia. I feel like this is something everyone knows. I don't know. Yes. It truly, truly goes. Wait, I have an idea.

Why don't you take it to the poll on your Instagram like you did with the banana? Yes, the banana I was way off on. This is hilarious. Jason thinks everyone should peel the whole banana. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't think anyone should do anything. I think it's the way I do it.

And for me, it makes the most sense. Right. But you also took it to an Instagram poll, which means you kind of do care what everyone else is doing. I took it to the Instagram poll because we were having a funny debate and there was a bet that if the poll wasn't 12% or more in my favor, everyone had to take a shot. And fortunately, 17% of people were in my favor. So, everyone had to take a shot.

That's why I took it to pull. So dumb. Who peels the pole banana? The whole debate for anyone that didn't see that was I peeled a banana. And when I peeled it, I took the peel off and I ate it in like four bites. Like I ate it pretty quickly. And everyone looked to me like, you literally just peel a banana off, hold it and eat it. It's like, yeah, what else do you do?

They all peel and go, right? Like peel, bite, bite, bite, go. They made a bet with me that less than 12% of people would say they do it. They were pretty damn close because about 16% of people. that they would do it. Yeah, well. Got into this. First you peel bananas, peel, bananas.

Yeah, you peel bananas, then you slice, bananas, slice, slice, slice. See, at least they peel at first. Bananas, slice, slice, bananas, then you eat. Bananas, eat, eat. Wait, did you hear that? They peel the full thing first. Eat, eat bananas Go bananas

Go, go bananas Go bananas Go bananas, go go bananas Great song Yeah Anyways, they say Peel banana Peel, peel banana

Because then they slice banana Slice, slice, slice banana So if you're gonna slice banana Sure, peel the whole thing Okay Either way Bananas, go go bananas

B-A-N-A-N-A-S And now the dogs Are hearing us going Ham and they're like Want to play hi buddy Hey let's take a second I've got news for you shopping should be fun but that is tough when you're worried about credit errands makes

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Affordable and flexible payments, you can pay little by little until it's yours you own it. Erin's easy, beautiful, affordable. Approval is valid only at a signed store location. Approval is not guaranteed. Some restrictions apply. We'll be back with more Off the Vine

with Caitlin Bristow. Now back to Off the Vine with Taitland Bristow. Anyways, Tasha's the new Bachelorette. Back to Bachelorette. I like the transition right there. Claire, I don't know what's going on, but I always wanted Tasia to be the Bachelorette, so I'm not mad about that. But I wanted to see Claire's journey, and I hope they show it. Yeah.

What did you want to see about Claire's journey? Do you think Tasia just gets all Claire's sloppy seconds? What do you want to see about Claire's journey? Are we all just sloppy seconds? What do you want to see about Claire's journey? Are we all just... I want to see her be like Claire and like Sassy Claire and put people in their place and be empowering and know what she wants and all that, which I guess she did. Now she found it.

I just had a weird. I knew once they announced her and there's this huge gap, I'm like something's going to change. I knew something was going to change. Yeah. And I don't know why it was. I think it was like more. They're just, I think they expected like a big pop and there wasn't a big pop. And when they don't get big pops, they change.

Yeah. I think they were like. I think they knew that was. I think they went into the season, this is my guess, they went into the season knowing that she would not film it. Do you agree or disagree? Agreed. Yeah.

And I think, do you think, I don't think they knew exactly. I think they were probably going to go between Tasia or Hannah and. What about Tia? Yeah. I mean, I forgot about the Tia was in the run big time for that. Because I think Tia, yeah, Tia had. But isn't Hannah Ann in a relationship with a football player? No, I think she was just seeing.

guy yeah so um yeah i'm not surprised but also how do you fall like after 10 12 days you just get engaged someone was talking to him before he was probably supposed to be on her season and i mean the guy is from what i've seen he's a freaking studs like i think he's a model NFL guy like just jacked huge like monster i mean this guy is like i think what i looked at him like like completely Completely stunning, obviously successful, like awesome guy. But does he have a good heart? Does he have a good heart? Hope, that's what you hope.

So who knows? Do you think they talked before? Yeah, I do. I mean, it happens. And so, yeah, yeah. No, I get that. But I mean, yeah, I don't think that's obviously no shame. Especially now with the ease of communication.

Right. And they were in quarantine. He was probably supposed to be on the season. They probably fell in love. Then they probably went to film and were like, oh my God, I can't go through with this. when I only want to be with you and then they're like

bring in the big dogs Tayshah who is also a doable but I feel like in every other season even if a Bachelorette fell in love that soon and then took off it wouldn't be a lot

like it's not a thing so that's why I think it was relatively premeditated well I mean they have control over if that's a thing or not so they're probably like they're probably like all right go go get engaged

and they're probably like now go bananas but Tasia was then she only had what six like did she just go to home like meet everyone go to hometowns three weeks later yeah we're i mean we're gonna see how it all goes down we're all and then on top of it you got chris harrison who uh we're like chris jenner because chris jenner runs a family business and always makes people talk about the Kardashians keep up jason what does that have to do is chris harrison they have the same

name that's it oh okay and they're both running the show i don't know but he drops his kid off the college and jojo takes over yeah sick job that's like a dream gig right that's like a dream gig right there that's incredible hopefully she gets oh no they're stuck in one place i was like maybe she'll get to go to like i think she would be a good i think she'd be a good fit yeah of course well i mean she's no chris harrison but no no no one's christ harrison i think ryan cress or jojo would be a good fit i see that i was going to say who in the franchise other than jo joe do you think would be a good fit well i guess i just which is my problem i always just pictured like um like wells going in for him but for chris harrison yeah well's well well's

radio hosts like hey everybody well i don't see that well what what makes you i think wells is in a perfect spot as the bartender well yeah of course no i'm i if jojo gets to say this is your final rose good luck sounds like you're peen that's just what actually sounds like she has to right yeah that'd be a dream you know what maybe they'll give wow maybe they'll give jojo a new um a new line and there'll be a new line in the franchise i can't take that Nope. They'll never change that line. There's a reason people laugh when he still says it, but it's, it's an iconic line. But that's his thing.

Yeah, and she's taking over for him for two weeks. She's just helping with a couple things. It's not like she's going in with a new tagline. I think everything's positioned to be like next. You don't think like she'll be next? Really? Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

I think, I think so. You think Chris Harrison's going to retire and Jojo's going to be the new host. If Chris Harrison did, I don't think he'll retire. I think if he did retire today, he'll be the new host. Or she'll be the new host. I mean, I don't think so because I don't think it would be. I don't think anyone. I don't think it would be.

Sorry, I don't think it would be anyone from the Bachelor franchise. Why wouldn't it though? Because they know too much. That behooves you because you're a producer. Yeah, but I think Jojo's heart is too pure to be a producer. producer. I do. I don't know Jojo, so. I think her heart is too pure. Well, who knows? The paycheck's right, maybe. I was going to say, I don't think. I don't think anyone. Oh, baloney, you would do it. Jason Tardick. I would not be able to do it. You couldn't be a producer. Absolutely not. Never.

First of all, I wouldn't want those hours. I was going to say, you're telling me, ABC comes you right now and offers you the host. You say no. I would do the host. I wouldn't be a producer. But to be a host, you have to be a producer. You don't have to. You don't have to. Chris Harrison is, but you don't have to.

I think almost 99% of people that are willing to go on that show, which I did, would say, yeah. It hurts me to watch the show even because I know what people are going through. Anyways, it's probably going to be Colton Underwood. Kurtball. He gets along well with the franchise. That's like what people would have said about. You three years ago.

And look at me now. Come back. You're Rocky. Hey, don't call it a comeback. It's the comeback kid. Oh, bum, bum, bum, bum, look at Rocky. She's, so Rocky, if they were like each, you know how Rocky had to like, you had to come back? And Rocky loves Emily.

Had three ninjas. Did you just drop a three ninjas quote on me? Whoa. Rocky loves Emily. Wait a second. Rocky loves Emily. We've been dating for this long and that's the first time you've ever dropped a three ninjas quote of me.

Do you know that's like literally my childhood, more than money ducks? I know every line. I've watched every single one of them. That and the mask. Tom, Tom, Colt, Rocky. Are you kidding me? I used to ask my grandfather if you could teach me karate so I could be like one of the three ninjas. I have a picture of you as a little boy playing karate.

Playing karate. Anyways, I do love that movie. Well, I mean. What else in the, oh, do you think Bachelor in Paradise is going down right now? Yeah. I think all of, talk about Slabi's slag and. I think all of the guys who are being rejected from this season are just going straight into Paradise because they're all quarantined.

They're all getting their tests. They're all ready. I don't know. I think it's just going to be... I mean, look. I don't think so. Everything's different in the world right now. What would stop the Bachelor from being different?

I think The Bachelor means it continue to be different, but I don't think... I don't think Parade. I think it's a Fagasy. I think it's smoking mirrors. I think at every stop we had on the show, we always had a bartender. Why would you not have Wells? He should be at every stop. he's unbelievable what he does

Why is Hannah Ann there? Why is Becca there? Hannah Ann and Taysha are good friends And they're also positioning Hannah Ann to be a big part of a future show She could be the next Bachelorette She could be the next engagement on Bachelor in Paradise Who knows She will be a big part of Bachelor

Mark my words The reason they position people like that Is because they will be part of the franchise For a minimum of a year Is that why they put me on Dancing with the Stars Because then they're like Caitlin will like us and then she can bring her podcast over to us and then I'd be like, okay, fine.

I mean, when have they asked you do something? You've said no. I love doing stuff with them. Exactly. It was before that I didn't because I had a weird taste in my mouth from everything. But now I'm like, I love you guys so much. But I loved them before Dancing with the Stars.

Let that be known. I feel like we made amends like, we mended that broken fence a couple of years ago now. Yeah. Well, what they're doing is they should. be doing is right people that come off the show because of their show build this big brand and do all these cool things they want to keep it under their world right like why should i go start my business that's built from this brand and not have it wrapped under their world that's why they're

having conversations with all of us to do things like that yeah anyways a lot going on in the bachelor a lot a lot a lot you know what that's from um you said it wrong but yes i do know what that's from dumb and dumber no i like it a lot a lot oh yeah yeah that's dumb and dumber and that's not how it goes wow i like it a lot i like her a lot i like her no i like you a lot i like you a lot i like you a lot we both a lot a lot we're both butchering it but anyways all right let's take a quick break um i might have to admit something i've been more of a splurger lately when it comes to finances where jason is definitely more of a saver in the relationship so if you're like me and you want to get a handle on your money and your spending habits, but you feel overwhelmed. Don't stress. Just download

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install albert from the app store or google play today and find your happy balance and get a bonus of up to forty dollars when you start an annual subscription to albert genius i mean i saw you doing a little a little q and a on your phone maybe earlier you wanted to ask me some questions no yeah i'm gonna take over i see some questions about dancing with the stars so people can hear your opinion on just everything that's going on your head thank you for doing that because i always and this was not my idea everybody but i do always feel dumb when i bring up dancing with the stars because I'm, like, talking to guests, and I'm like, yeah, because, oh, I'm going to L.A., and they're like, oh, what? I'm like, I'm like, I go on dancing when the starts. I always feel like it's like somebody, I don't know. I feel dumb. Like, I need to just like, yeah, we get it, Caitlin, you're going on to dance. We'll get it.

It's a dream come true, okay? It's awesome. Live that dream. It's literally a dream come true, and I'm working my damn ass off to be just a little, like, as good as I can. Well, that's the funniest. And which is awesome. You're doing a lot of training. We're doing some of it together, some of it separate.

keeping everything in checkouts like wait a second with all this practice why have you not done any dance lessons i feel like that's an illegal move like i feel like that's cheating like so going to a trainer who trains NFL guys every day to be the strongest in the world is completely acceptable yeah because that's gonna dancing would be unacceptable well i already just feel like i don't want to go in all cocky like or i don't want people to be like well you have a dance background so you're going to be so good i don't want that because i feel like that's so much pressure and I feel like I'm not a ballroom dancer so you can't expect me to be good at that. So I feel like it would be cheating for me to already feel like people think I have

an upper hand and then go take ballroom dance classes to then be even more ahead. I mean, think about it guys who like think about Sean Johnson. She said she was a gold medalist in Olympics. Yes. Think about Emmett Smith. The guy literally danced around the most athletic humans in the entire planet as a running back. Very different. But I don't think anyone would say, say if you took a dance lesson that's cheating a ballroom dance lesson i do think that's cheating i do i don't think that's and the other thing is i believe don't the judges if you have a dance background the judges will hold you to a different standard if you're a dancer so and i don't like that but that's fair no because i've never done ballroom and i had a very traumatic experience with

the waltz when i was in the 11th grade what's the waltz one two three one two one two three one two I just screwed it up right now. I love it. All right, let's get in the questions. So for the first one is, what was going through your head? So obviously you get asked to go on dates with the stars, right? Which is we were both in show. We're like, no way.

Like, obviously I've heard you talk about it so often, but we're thinking that's a pipe dream. There's no chance. You've had your feud with the franchise in ABC. You've come full circle, all in good shape. And now you get your chance to go on. So the next day, maybe not even the next day, but after it sinks in, you know, What were you thinking, and then since then, what has been the best things and what has been the most challenging leading up to today? Okay. Wait. What was the first one?

Once it sinks in that you're going on dancing with the stars, tell me what that's like. And since then... Okay, we'll start with that because my short-term memory is very questionable. Okay. Oh, what did it feel like when it's been? Wow. This is why I don't podcast on Sundays, okay? Once it sunk in, like, what's going through your head? How are you feeling about it?

I just, I feel like emotional because it truly does feel like a dream come true. It really does. It feels like a full circle from like giving up on my dreams and then knowing I had that in the palm of my hands five years ago and I got taken away from me and my dreams were crushed again after like knowing, like 25 years old, I feel like my dreams were crushed because I gave up on dance. Then I had an opportunity after The Bachelorette and I feel like my dreams were crushed again and it was taken away from me.

Now it's happening again that I'm like on like, and I don't want you to think I'm being negative, but I'm just on edge where I'm like, is this going to be taken away from me again? And it's COVID going to ruin it? Is something going to be like I'm just scared. So I feel like it still hasn't really sunk in that I'm on the show because they haven't announced any other cast members. Like it just doesn't feel real yet. yes for some reason I feel so anxious and nervous beyond belief I completely I think that's

you know we always keep it real with each other I think that's so justified like at these days like you couldn't you could have no symptoms of COVID done everything right and you never know you that you have it right so I think that's so justified we'll be back with more off the vine with Caitlin Bristol hi guys I'm Belle Benson welcome to another episode with me on Too Tart to Be Crazy Transvers all of his saliva into my mouth So I just have to keep swallowing Trying to swallow it as his tongue

And just like doing its thing Like all the way down my throat Mortified Like I wasn't scared anymore To admit what I need And to ask for what I need And I just feel like it's like a whole new Dating chapter for me, honestly

I typed in you And instead of going to YouTube It went to you porn Be sure to check out Too Tired to Be Cray To Be Crazy on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and podcast one. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. What do you think other than the worries of COVID has been the biggest challenge leading

up to your departure, which is in a couple days? The fact that my 35-year-old bod don't move like it used to, and thank God I started training when I did, because if I didn't do that, I would have gone in and injured myself. So then what would you say? I mean, there's been people on the show that have been their 70s and been able to keep up. so like why do you think that yeah really 70s yeah 60s and 70s

well good for them that's impressive but I think the some of the biggest challenges for me is mentally going back on television because I think I have and I always say this sounds so dramatic but I think I have a bit of

post-traumatic stress from being on TV because people literally wanted like people I was literally getting death threats after and people hated me just for being myself and I was body shamed and I was slut shamed and I was all these things and I went through such a hard time but I also didn't have the best support system I also um was in like a very fragile state after the show where now I'm like much more um emotionally stable and in a better place I have more tools I'm like

stronger than I ever have been mentally and physically so I feel like I need to remember that going into this that it's not the same as it was five years ago and so I think a challenge for me has been just like mentally preparing to get back on TV and having the world or whoever's watching open my world up to criticism again yeah and I think you know just being your partner one thing that you're outrageously hypersensitive to is criticism right feedback feedback is not bad one of your forte so how are you going to deal with like it's extreme like every single week is extreme feedback i find it hard to even take that feedback because but that's because i think when i first came off the show even though i was so depressed and down i was like i mean i took a lot of criticism

the most criticism it was insane and i dealt with it and i like dealt with it really well even though was depressed like I dealt with it well because I just had to like tell myself this has everything to do with them not me blah blah blah so the criticism now I think would be like I'm doing something I'm so passionate about so I'm going to be a little sensitive to that and I take you know what I take criticism the worst from people who love me and care about me strangers I am better with criticism than people who love me so I disagree with that oh yeah but I think that that I think that like there could be random people that say things to you and if it if it's feedback that impacts you it's it's well i guess you know me better than me well it's just an observation so but you got to

like so when you're doing something you're passionate about you're dancing you're working your ass off all week and then you have four judges national television breaking you down and ripping you part for it like strategically have you just mentioned you're nervous to go back in the tv have you thought like how do i cope through this or like how long am I going to deal with like this very thing that's like not easy for me to deal with I've been dancing my whole life I have you know my mom's a professional dancer yeah but I'm definitely open to criticism about my dancing because I've never done ballroom so I am like of course there's going to be criticism because I don't know how to move like that and I just am like

prepared for that plus plus like their judges my mom was a judge that is their job to give feedback and that helps me mentally know that that's their job so okay gotcha and so part of you it's like a learning experience you're like these people who are telling me to ballroom dance better are the best in the world i'm not going to get upset with it yeah i'm going to learn from i want to learn from these people like i want to listen and not be like reactive i want to be i want to be i want to grow so much on this show like I want to I just want to like come out of that being like wow I grew so much and I'm the best version of myself yeah that's awesome so you talked about ballroom dance and I was a guy who doesn't know other styles of dance is there a certain okay I'm assuming there's

more than ballroom dance and if so what style of ballroom dance is your thing like what is Caitlin's style or theme of dance. Hip-hop, which does not fall into these categories. But they can mix in some, like, hip-pop, can't they? I hope so. I hope so. Because ballroom dancing consists of, like, the jive, the cha-cha, the salsa. What?

No, it's funny. I'm, like, laughing. Like, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. No. Ballroom is like... It's like one, two, three, like, elegant, like Beauty and the Beast dancing. But ballroom is like...

It's ballroom dancing. And then there's many categories in ballroom dancing. I'm the most excited, I think, for the cha-cha. And any type of hip-hop. And any type of hip-hop. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but there is even more to explore at the Home Depot. From furniture and home decor to bedding and more, home depot.com has endless options for every space.

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And what curveballs or themes would not be awesome. instance, if they do, like, a partner switch, or if they put Disney out there, or they put a, like, a classical, like, what would you say would entice you and what would you be like, oh, shit, this is going to be a tough week. I would be stout for, like, a musical theater number. Okay. Like, Hamilton, come on. Oh, that would be amazing.

I thought you don't like Hamilton. You just don't like when I sing it. Wait, I'm sorry. I, do you know me at all? No, you. I'm obsessed with Hamilton. Every time I sing I can do anything Hamilton, you're like, oh, my God, no more Hamilton. Okay, no, that's not true.

Before I had watched Hamilton, you were always like, John Adams, I know him. And I was like, what is that? But now I'm like, yes, that can't be. I get it now. I get it now. Got it. All right. So Hamilton would be a big one you'd look forward to.

Yes. Something I would be scared of. Yes. Um, I don't know anything that like makes me have to be sexy What? What? Yeah. How would you scare that? I don't know. I'm like, I feel like I'm just such a Dude at heart that I'm like when I have to be sexy I'm like I gotta move my hips all sexy like I'm surprised what do you mean? I don't know I guess because my dad's watching I know he's seen worse but

I'm confused by a lot of your answers here. No, I'm getting drunk. That's my life. But we're going or a line. So have you talked to anyone? So I know like grocery store Joe's been on the show and Hannah's been on the show. There's obviously been like we had a podcast with the Bella Twins. Barbara Corcoran sent that funny thing to me.

But like what have you talked to past contestants and if so, what's the best feedback you've got? Yeah, I've talked to a few like Sean Johnson, Janet Kramer, Hannah, Hannah B. Um, and everyone just kind of says the same thing. Oh, Joey Fetone. Was he on? Yeah. Oh, cool. Everyone says the same thing.

And that's to get out of your head, be in the moment, and don't get lost in the nerves. Like, just feel everything. Like there's going to be stressful times, happy times, good times, bad. But it's like such a once in a lifetime experience that you have to just like, like push away the nerves and just surrender to the process kind of thing. Just be like, what, like, we're going to do it. Yeah. That's awesome. And so what is your biggest fear going into it other than COVID?

Like assuming it was like a normal world, like you go into this whole process. What do you think your biggest fear is? I think I think my biggest fear is having the pressure of being a dancer and looking like a failure. I mean, what if I completely shit the bed? You're not going to shit the bed. You come on. You're not going to shit the bed. Well, what if I do?

Well, even if you do, I think the, I think that. That thing is, like, what we've talked about, you're there. You're there. How would we no one vote for you? You have so many people that support what you do and how you do it. But it's annoying to swipe up and send in a text. No, it's not. Everyone's going to do.

And I don't like asking people to do it. You have no problem asking people to do it. We're going to all ask people to do it. Every one of us. Every time I go anywhere, I'm like, yeah, let's do it. The car girl, when we were on this trip, the car girl was like, oh, I'm graduating. I'm going to pilot school. Big fan of a batch.

big fan of you. I'm like, please tell all your friends, you've got to be voting for dancing with the starts. Yeah. That's what, it's like, I feel like we're, I'm like full campaign. Vote, vote, vote for Caitlin. Bailey said she was going to put it on like a decal on her car on the back of the car, like vote for Caitlin and use and put the text number on it. I think the, yeah, that's awesome. But the fact that you're, even if you bomb it, you get injured, whatever, you're there. Like, this has been a dream of yours forever. Yeah, that's why it's such a dream come true that I don't want it to be anything less than the best experience time. It's come true, right? It's come true. And never in a million years, three months ago, if you had told me, I'm a betting man,

I'm an odds guy you had told me, what money would you bet on the fact Caitlin Bristow will be on Dancing with the Stars? Given all the things I know, I would say if I put a dollar down that she is, you better pay me $10,000 if she goes out. Like this was in the dream is come true. You're going, right? You leave. So the success is there. I think. Just have fun with it. Like, with all the advice they're giving, just live in journal. Like, take a moment, like journal the shit out of it. Just live in every second.

Yeah. And don't forget it because it's going to go like this. It's going to go like this. It's going to be done. And that's it. So you've got to just like make, just don't put so much pressure on yourself. You're not, I promise you, anyone listening to this. You're not letting anyone down.

We don't know that yet. No, honey, you're not letting anyone down. You're not letting anyone down. You're going there and you're dancing, and that's, and that's it. And it's just a dance TV show. Don't, it's not, you know, it's not the, it's just a dance TV show. Keep put in perspective. What's it?

I don't want to go home. Well, guess what? If you go home, what you're not, we can extend the apartment and stay for a couple months. And then can we make a baby? That's what I want to do next. Everyone's like, what's after dancing with the stars? I'm like, pregnancy, actually. I'm just kidding.

There's no more wine left in there. Um, anywho, was that all your questions? That's it. Who do you want your partner to be? Derikov. Assuming Derikov won't be there because it's very unlikely you will. Who do you want your partner? I would like either Val or Sasha or Gleb or Keogh or Keio.

Wow. Or I'm just naming all of them because I don't care. You're just like, whatever. I would be, for some reason, my gut says Val. But I don't know why. No, I do know why. Why? Because he's won the most.

Val have? Yeah. How many times does he won? I don't know. Who was Hannah's partner? Alan, but I don't think they'd put another, you know, like I'm coming from the Bachelor franchise in their opinion. I don't think they put me with Alan. Gotcha.

who that last bachelor contestants you have hannah grocery store joe nick chris souls no one in between grocery store joe and nick um no i don't think so because the next no one from rachel's season rachel or rye season nope so is rachel rari who's a who's a bachelor before oh jojo no one from jojo season wow really Is there anything else you wanted to talk about? That's it. Do you see the big doobie in front of you, aka my sage? Well, Pino came running to bed when you had your psychic meeting, and I was like, he smelled like weed.

And I was like, what is that? Why does Pino smell like weed? And now I know. My sage in the room. She wasn't a psychic. She was a card reader, and she honestly gave me sick advice. She was like a bodybuilder and a competitor, and she was just talking about how, like, you have to just, like, drown out. all the noise like get in the zone like you even if people think you're being a little bit

selfish if you're not responding to them or doing anything like this is for you this is a dream for you and blah blah and she said it's going to be a really um transformative is that transformative time for me and like i have to face she go she pulled a card that was like my shadows like me against a shadow and she was like you're going to have to face like some really big insecurities of yours head on and all the stuff it was really cool i think it's going to be i think it's going to be awesome for you It's going to be another, like, eye-opening experience. It's going to be highs and lows, but out of it, I think, regardless, like, when, go home or whatever. I think that you're going to, like, continue to just develop into, you know, a more stronger, more powerful version of yourself.

Yes. I think it's going to – I think, like, come December. Like, if we podcast in December and we look back on this, I think you're going to be like, man, this part was brutal. This part was amazing. But at the end of it, like, I've come out a more developed person. I feel better about this. I did it and like it's behind you. And I think it's going to be just a, like overall, the big circle is going to be an amazing, amazing experience.

And my ass is going to be as toyed as a tiger. Is that another line I don't know about? You don't know tooit as a toiga? No. Oh, dear God. What's it from? Awesome powers. Well, see, I was not a big comment.

You're a huge comedy genre. comedies that like I love I've seen Asapowers of course but I like don't remember the lines you know how you have those friends that always remember lines for movies I was not the friend I was the friend who like in that group of friends they would remember the lines and they would keep going back and forth

there was one other guy or girl who remembered them just as much but not the much and then there's like three of them that just stayed silent and like quietly laughed that was me I was the quiet laugh guy I was the big loud guy of not just like nonstop like on Oz of Paris it was so funny when he goes he's in a club dancing and he's walking by a girl and it goes hey there you are and she goes

do I know you and he goes no but there you are I was like that's funny Anywho thanks for podcasting with me this was awesome thank you for having me usually our Sundays are just we're just this is a work day we're just screen doors on submarines we've been going ham today yeah but we even left the we even left the lake early to get home and start working we did anywho love you love you too um also when when we're when we're L.A. I mean, because we're in a pandemic, you can just have your head down and work on your book. I got a lot of things to work on, which is fun. Yeah, I got the book we're working on and then restart. We're rolling out a membership, which is super exciting. And there's, yeah, there's a lot of

exciting stuff coming on. So it's great. I'm looking forward to it. It's great that you can do it from L.A. too. The best part of the book is that. Yeah, we can all, almost everyone can work virtually. Not everyone, right? People in hospitals and schools and everything like that. But the virtual concept is awesome that's awesome well look at us go I'm looking at the signs behind you no champagne no game how low can you merlo do you see those signs okay anyways love you thanks everybody for listening I'm Caitlin Bristow I'll see you next Tuesday thanks for listening thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow get new episode episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

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