Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Barstool’s Pat and Joey: Two Unhinged Gays Out & About in Nashville
Episode Date: May 9, 2023Don’t listen to this one with kids in the car, folks. Did these three just become best friends? Yes, they did. Kaitlyn and Out & About’s Pat McAuliffe and Joey Camasta hit it off in K...B’s Nashville studio right off the bat, starting by discussing the extreme lengths they would go to stay youthful. The hangover definitely isn’t stopping Pat & Joey as they get into everything with KB from the origins of their nicknames Nana and Trish, how they ended up getting stuck together on their pod, and their most mortifying hookup experiences ever. And, we’re absolutely not yucking anyone’s yum as we hear about what goes down in the gay hookup scene… AKA things that make Kaitlyn feel extremely vanilla. They also have a full conversation with a bot about The Bachelor, make plans for a petal tavern and for KB to join their live show (both of which came to fruition), and end with a very important news announcement and toast. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: TALKSPACE - To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com/VINE to get $100 off of your first month and to show your support for the show. ANGI - Go check out Angi, your home for everything home. THIRDLOVE - Visit ThirdLove.com to find your fit and shop their bestselling bras! PROGRESSIVE - Quote today at Progressive.com to try the Name Your Price® tool for yourself, and join the over 29 million drivers who trust Progressive.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Off the fly.
We're recording everyone.
Okay, good.
Usually I have...
Camera, camera, camera.
Yeah.
Usually I have my assistant, and then Alicia was here for the other time to set the call up.
And today, I was like, I did do this by myself.
I'm like, oh, my God.
I'm not a tech person.
I'm me either.
You're not either?
No, that's why I gave up early in life about getting all the set up.
And that's why I work at worst.
Because I don't have to do any camera work.
That's true.
You just have people.
I'm like a one-man show over here.
I don't know how to edit, but I know how to press record and make sure the lighting is good.
My knowledge stops as well.
Oh, my gosh.
I am really excited to talk to you both.
You are really funny.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You try, girl.
Yeah, were you?
come out of the womb funny or yeah yeah okay yeah that's my gift that got gave me like
people don't people get good sports and some people are good at you know yeah and modeling yeah
I'm a good at modeling but um yeah I just I'm just like you know I was born with the gift of
gap well sometimes people were born really ugly so they have to be funny yeah but you were not
well I had surgery oh that's a good second part of this sentence because well unfortunately ugly
people are gifted yeah I like to think I'm funny and I was a very unfortunate
looking baby. Were you? Yeah, I was.
No. But that's okay. Well, good thing that didn't last.
Well, also surgery. What did you have to?
Actually, no, just Botox and
some filler. People think
I had a nose job, but I didn't. Yeah, it looked you
for really good nose. Thank you. I
don't, I think it's just from getting like certain filler
and knowing how to contour now. Yeah.
Yeah. It's flawless. Thank you.
It's glowing. Honestly, it's embarrassing
the amount of steps I take in the morning and night
to have the skin that I do. But I'm
I'm almost 38 and I feel really good about it.
Oh, 38? Do you use that? You look great.
Thank you.
Do I use what, sorry?
Snail mucin.
What's that?
It's like snail secretion that I'm hanging on my face.
Oh, like.
Snell jizz.
Oh, shit.
I'll do anything.
Yeah.
Is that true?
Yeah.
That's what it is, right?
Yeah.
Snail jiz.
It's like that screech.
It's not a snail.
It's human jizz and he gets it on 8th Avenue.
Yeah.
Again, I'll try anything.
I heard that women's period blood on your face.
Oh.
Yeah.
Your own are strangers.
It doesn't matter.
It's like the blood from the shedding of the uterus and they put on your face.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Yes, I heard this.
Remember Courtney Kardashian ate the placenta.
People do that.
Kim Kardashian said she would eat poop to stay youthful.
Yeah.
Which that was quite controversial, but I would.
You would eat scat.
If it was, I would eat scat.
That's what?
We got the clue.
That is five.
One cup.
That's your own addition.
I would do it.
If it meant I got to stay looking youthful.
But that's a whole insecurity.
You're already, you're fine.
You're good.
You're good.
If you look this good at 38, you're going to be even better.
You think so?
Yeah, you're on a good, good trajectory.
I will say my dad and my mom have like youthful skin as well.
Well, it shows.
I've just now started because I've been, me and Joey, you've been doing the show.
I've never paid attention to my skin.
I've never paid attention to anything.
But if you walk by his desk, it's like the wellness aisle of a Dwayne Reed.
There is everything at his desk.
So now it's like, I wake up like, oh, my skin.
Good and feels dry.
I'm going to be around the show.
Yeah.
You need squaline oil.
Have you had that?
Squaline.
Yeah.
Yes.
Is that the blue?
Green.
It's green.
Yeah.
It's the paste.
No.
What you're talking about?
It's an oil.
It's an oil?
Yeah.
Is it blue or it's green?
It's green.
I've had that, I think.
I don't know.
I just learned about it on my last podcast.
She's colorblind.
And I got it and I swear just like using it twice.
I can see.
Oh, I'm thinking of blue tanzy.
oil oh well moving on yeah well we look good the girls look good
we're trying to say we still got it you still got it i could talk skincare for the next hour
but let's talk about you being hung over yeah oh my god
Nashville will get you i think i feel you have kennel cough yes
don't pass it on to my dog i know i decided i got here a day before our show because we
have a show tonight yes and i was like we have to get there early because we want to make
sure we're at bright and best hill for the morning of our show um we're doing on broadway
last night. I really didn't tend to waste it. I knew that was going to be a bright eye and bushytail.
I get the 8 p.m. Where are you bitch? I was like not a chance.
I didn't get wasted. But the dream, you know, they think of gay bar pours here. Oh,
do they? Well, the gay bar poor is, you don't have to order a double to gay bar because it's
already a double. Right. But wait, I thought you were talking about one time how they nickel
and dime you in Nashville. Oh, no, they do. Oh, okay. I can't get a fucking free drink here.
I'm, because I'm sending all these parties and like, I'm bringing my niece to her birthday. I'm
bringing them out this weekend. So I have the goal that they set me have the VIP concierger,
which is lovely. But literally, they don't. They don't.
care who you are.
I thought it was a free, you got one free bottle.
Well, it was not free.
It was $2,500.
No, the minimum of $1,500.
I can't get into the Soho house here.
You can't?
Why?
I don't know.
Are you remember?
No.
Oh.
That's what I'm saying.
They won't, like, my fiance is.
You're probably too famous.
That's probably what it is.
Maybe.
I think that's like, they like, no, definitely they like cut people.
In New York, they like don't want like really famous people.
Reese Spoon is in.
Oh, she is?
Yes.
I take it back.
You have to do you have that.
Who's a serial jipiss in, girl?
I'm not sure.
I'm Canadian.
I think I'm nice to everybody.
I knew you were Canadian.
Yeah.
I didn't know, but I heard it in your voice today.
Stop.
I swear to God.
When you're getting frazzled over there, you start speaking jive.
I heard it.
When I frazzled and drunk, my pout of her asses right over there, I saw.
I saw her little meat camera over here, I heard saw the Maple Leaf, girl.
I know, I know she was Canadian.
It does come out if I'm frazzled or drunk.
And I, yesterday, I was like, oh, sorry.
to somebody, and I was like, oh, yeah, so I catch myself sometimes.
But wait, before we get any more into anything, I forgot to have you guys introduce yourselves.
Oh, sorry.
I'm Joey Kamasta from Out and About Podcasts, and I'm here to have a good time.
Well, you're going to have a good time.
I'm excited.
Even though you're hungover, I wanted you to have a drink.
I'll have a drink now.
Oh.
Do you have any cold, um, spayed sparrow?
Yes, I love that you drop the name.
That's called a plug.
You know what?
I don't.
Okay.
I didn't expect.
It's the morning.
So I didn't expect to put anything on ice
But I should have known better
It's okay
Next time you two unhinged gaze coming over
Either have poppers or peanut grisio
Okay, and introduce yourself
I am Pat McAuliffe
I am from the out and about podcast as well
And where did you two meet?
We met so I started the show
About six months before he came on
Okay
And his best friend is Snooki
Second best friend
Yeah
And they were like
You know she had to cancel for something
Do you want her makeup artist
her stylist and I was like
yeah okay
and so he came in
and he sat down
and in first 10 minutes
I was like quit the styling job
you're coming here like makeup and hair
styling is makeup and hair
but it was like instant connection
instant chemistry and so
he did the part time thing for like six
months and then he actually just signed another contract
at Barstle so we're stuck together for
another two years at least
but it's been great it's been a lot of fun
I will say the chemistry between you two
and the banter and everything.
It's so enjoyable to watch.
I was just, like, scrolling and scrolling for hours, just watching videos.
And usually I get bored very easily, but I was very entertained.
Oh, good.
And I need to know if you did the pedal tavern.
What's that?
Oh, no.
I think we have to peddle and drink.
We just got for yesterday.
Oh, we just, yeah.
When do you leave?
Because you have your show tonight.
I'm leaving Sunday.
What day is it today?
Tuesday.
Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.
Can I pedal tavern with you?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
We'd love to.
We're sticking to go.
You have to be careful because I don't want to do it because he's not going to pedal.
I'm not going to go up hill, pedaling his ass up the fucking hill.
I will peddle with.
How many people have to pedal?
Everyone.
No,
there's two spots on the back that you don't have to pedal.
Yeah, that's what we'll say.
You-hoo.
I'll take that.
I like pedaling.
I'll do a little bit, but I don't want to do the whole time.
You're not sweating.
It's not like you're like that's not really pushing the car, isn't it?
Yeah.
There's no one driving it.
No, there's a guy steering, right?
Yeah.
And he's also pedaling.
Pedaling.
I think
Yeah
Now if you get fun
That we just find a gay one
With a motor on it
Well we look like we're doing it
But you got to tip someone
To exercise you
And let me tell you
There's so many different ones
There's ones with hot tubs on it now
There's buses
Hot tubs
Yes
What should we do?
I mean we might
I call it like a human soup pool
Like it's
Oh there's a barnyard behind there
Yeah
It's incredible
We have to do it
Oh I want to do it
Maybe we both now
I honestly
I've got a guy there
I've got a guy
Oh, can you get to us?
Yeah.
Oh, we'll do it tomorrow.
I, can I please?
Come with us.
Yes.
I love the paddle tavern.
Show us around town.
We have nothing to do tomorrow.
It has to be afternoon, though, because we don't want to get up early.
No, I don't want to get up early.
We're going out until 7 a.m. tonight.
What are you guys doing after the show?
We're going to push you daisies.
They were very nice to me.
They're very common day.
So that's the one place that did take very good care of me.
Right now.
Now I'm thinking about it.
You're right.
Nashville is tough.
Well, you know what, like Pat said, they don't need the bit.
They don't need the foot traffic.
Everyone should drink and spend the money anyway.
That's true.
It's like Disney. It's like they don't need it to get a free drink.
They don't need a celebrity to come.
This is music growing.
Every celebrity comes here.
It's like New York City.
They don't need, you know, so like an influencer like me isn't going.
They're going to be like, I'm not, I was expecting free.
I was.
Yeah.
I was expecting bottle stuff.
Like we have been in the middle of recording a show and we always have a rule.
It's like we got to, if someone calls you're on the show, you got to pick up and you got to take it on the show.
There have been times probably five or six times in the past month where he's
taking a call and he hasn't done it
on the mic because it's been a party planner.
He's like, I got to take this.
He goes, now what can you do for him?
Pushing Daisy.
He goes, let's go large group.
Okay.
Now, I'm curious with about 10.
And I got 10 girls.
They're going to drink.
I'm fine with Titos.
I prefer kettle.
Yeah.
On the soul, trying to get this.
Penal, Ms.
She's 23.
You should see the booms on this girl.
She's here.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I did on your Instagram story.
Great boobs.
My God, daughter.
So I wanted to show her a good time.
We're a big country music family.
I'm a whole family listen to country music religiously.
And she's never been out here.
And I, you know, I just kind of have the means to do it now.
And I figured why not just kind of show her a good time?
I love that.
Yeah.
That's sweet.
I'm regretting it now.
Like literally.
Is a really good spot.
Why are you regretting it?
Because I've spent almost $10,000 in this week.
Oh, shit.
Because all the money we're going to make on our show is now a wash.
Oh, no.
That's got right from liquor show yesterday.
No, we have to do this Sean.
Well, it's worth it, though.
No, it is.
I think the feelings she could.
She, like, hugged me and got teary eye this morning.
I was like, I was like, I was going to lose it.
She's so nice.
I love that.
I'm not there's dead.
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I would like to know where the names Nana and Trish came from.
Okay.
So I thought my name.
Let me take Nita.
Okay.
Yeah.
I give Trish because my mother calls everyone named Pat or Patricia Trish for sure.
even in the so i got that like early in life like i used to call everyone trish even like when i was
working in like a fashion like pat macrath which is like yeah the biggest makeup artist in the
world and used to assist her um everyone's in so intimidated um everyone's in timid by her because she was
like so you know the god in the makeup world and everyone's everyone like she was like you know
the god she still is and everyone was like pat pat you know i was called her trish i was like
oh man it wasn't intimidated did she hate it no no no she loved it oh okay no one no one i ever
would speak to her like you know like joke with her like that so but i so i always call everyone
Trisso, I met her, and I said, may I call you Trish?
I met her.
Yeah.
And I said, I'd be honored.
And in the same breath, I said, may I call you Dana?
No, do you know why you call me Nana?
Because you have a grandmotherly energy.
No, because you tried to make me come to work at 6.30 at night.
What are you going to bed by then?
You wanted me to record at 8 o'clock at night.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And I said, I said, I'm in bed.
And I said, you're a grandmother.
But you do have a very grandmotherly energy.
I do.
So that's what there's like Nana and Trish.
My grandmother did not have this kind of energy.
Yeah.
I feel like it's a specific type of grandmother energy.
I'm older than everyone.
I've lived many lives and I, yeah, I know that about you.
I'm like, I used to, um, how do I say like I don't want to go out late?
How do I do want to go out late?
But you know what I mean?
I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm in the house.
I'm kind of like that.
Like, I love a good time.
And once I'm out and getting going, I will fire it up and like.
It does.
I don't think you're telling the truth.
I think it's very easy.
Yeah, Leah's over here looking like what is it?
It takes a lot of.
Hold on.
We're calling bullshit on this one thing.
It takes a lot for me to go out.
He's always the first one out and the last one home.
But I complain a lot to go out.
I complain a lot.
Oh, God.
Like, I'm an old lady.
I'm an old lady.
Yeah, but you like to shop bars that.
Like, you'll be out until 2, 3, 4 in the morning.
With Wright Hills.
With Ruffles.
Now, I go out, I'm like 10.30.
I'm like, done.
Last night you were telling me, you're like, come out, come out.
If I go out tonight, you got home at one.
I was like, we're going to be out until 4.
The show will be ruined.
People are flying.
I've been going to be responsible.
And also there's the pizza emoji.
What did I pay $30 to someone stranger for?
Pizza.
But how?
That's how you pay for pizza?
Venmo?
I don't know.
I Venmo everyone for everything.
Can you Venmo me?
I don't think spending weekend.
Let's put your Venmo out there on the podcast and see who like a dollar will a little dabble do you.
Yeah.
If you had to Freaky Friday with anyone, who would you choose?
Sex.
Freaky Friday.
What's that?
Oh, change.
I'll change.
I'll change.
Yes.
Body, your body, your mind, yourself and someone else's body.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Oh, Oprah Winfrey.
For sure.
That would be seven.
Oh, you would?
No.
No.
I mean, I would want to be Gayle.
I mean, Gail.
I mean, Oprah, Gail.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I want to be in the house and, like, see how it is to live like that.
Yeah.
But like for like vain reasons.
Beyonce, hello.
Lady Gaga, hello.
Lady Gaga, yes, but I would choose Britney Spears.
Oh, yeah.
Current's current.
Current.
Yes.
Oh, that's controversial.
You could just take LSD, honey.
Oh, wait.
Not incriminately.
That'll put you there.
But the crazy Britney's here right now.
And the bikini dancing in the foyer.
Yes.
But I wouldn't do it permanently.
I would like to freak you Friday for five minutes and then get the fuck out.
Five minutes only?
That's not enough to.
It's her mind and body in Brittany's body.
So you're just,
you can't even do a hallway fashion show that much time.
Yeah, I would like to know why she has tiny furniture.
I would like to know what Sam's actually like.
Yeah.
I would like to see whatever, what is going on.
I would like to see how.
You can get him on the podcast.
He's been doing the chores lately.
Stop.
Yes.
He was, he was optioned for us.
And he said no.
He said no.
Why don't think we ever
really optioned
But he was on there
He's an actor
I didn't even think about that
That's my vision board
It's kind of deleted right now
David Spade is girl
Oh my
What a what a vision board
Can we read it?
Yeah
David Spade
Jennifer Annison
Paul Rudd
Adam Sandor
Britney Spears
Justin Beber
Pat McCalloff
Lenda the Good Witch
Glenda Clit
Who's that
publicity
Lit or Clit
Glenda Clit is my producer
Oh
She has like an ultra ego
Is that her realest name?
No her name is Alicia
But we call her
Glenda Clit
because she has no gorge clip yes we actually were inspired by glennie balls oh get out of here
have you met him no he comes national all the time i asked um who's on theo vaughan the other day
good for glad i love theo how funny is he glennie ball's like the nicest you should have glennie on
nicest guy ever easy to talk to yes i should have him on but i asked caleb yeah and he was like
i'm not doing podcast right now and i was like glennie said that no oh kaleb oh imagine glennie says that
Yeah, I was like, girl, fall back.
I was like that's my five-year-old.
Fall back.
I love that Caleb has the, like, the cloud to do that.
I'm sorry, I'm not doing interviews at this time.
That's what I was like, that's my five-year plan to be able to say, like, I'm not doing podcasts right now.
Is he the best, Caleb?
I'm obsessed with him.
Doesn't he live in Nashville?
He just moved to Florida.
Back to Florida.
But he was back to Florida.
His place in Nashville.
Ooh, it's very nice.
You know what it's nice for him?
It was a five bedroom.
He was renting it, but it was beautiful.
So Barstool does well for you all.
For him.
The dog lines?
My dog just said, oh, that's cool.
No, no, they do, they do, yeah.
What do you think about the Chicago office?
I'm excited for it.
I don't want to live there, but I'm excited to have it there to kind of go and visit.
Like, I would love to go for a month.
Like, we'd be working to Airbnb for a month.
I want to do that with you.
I was like trying to.
I'm sick of New York because, like, I want to change at least for like a Chicago in the summer.
We go out on the lake.
Maybe we rent a boat for a month.
Maybe we live on a houseboat.
I don't know.
In Canada, we used to go out on the shoe shop, it's called.
And to have a houseboat every summer we did it.
and it's so fun but the shoe shop sounds like some old racist plantation things what is it's
it's Canada it's Canada the nice of the shoe shop no it's it Canada is Pleasantville in my opinion
oh yeah yeah I love it there did you see that Pamela Anderson doc on Netflix of course I did that's what I think of
Canada oh I need to add her to my vision board Megan Fox something you look like Megan Fox you do see that yeah yeah
yeah thank you that's I'm like a Craigslist Megan no Craigslist Megan
Remember hooking up with guys off Craigslist?
Yes.
Of course.
You could hook up with guys off Craigslist.
Yeah, you could get into the first host.
Yeah.
Casual.
And now if you're in a move for a casual encounter.
Jeffrey Dahmer's shit.
Yeah.
I love that documentary.
It's really good.
Did you ever have a situation that you got a little scared of?
Of course.
Oh, I have.
Many.
I thought it was going to be killed.
I'm in one right now.
Back when I was a kid.
I was like 19 or something.
I should have drive to Boy's Houses.
I met I'm aging myself on AOL.
I meet them on AOL Messenger.
Yeah.
Back the day.
And I would go to this guy's house and, like, he, like, he, like, I felt like he was going to kill me.
Like, he, like, wouldn't let me, he was, he was, if he was hot, I would be turned on.
So you couldn't even see what he looked like until he came over?
There was, like, a blurry picture.
Holy shit.
There's no webcams or anything.
But you'd exchange pictures in an email.
Right?
You know, email that?
Are you talking about AOL not Craigslist?
AOL, I'm talking about it.
Yeah.
But for the younger listeners, there used to be two, there used to be Craigslist, you would go on men seeking men or casual encounters.
That's what you're, that's for you two men, or whatever it may be.
and you meet up with guys off that or girls or remember misconnections i saw one on the one train
going up town do you hear misconnections yeah what if it was ai would you get would you
flirt with that i've been just yeah i'm feeling i'm my boyfriend i was going on a i'm at
snapchat talking this guy the ai yeah yeah what is it i don't understand it's like a friend
for lonely people yes oh my god i need one because i have not look i'm too scared to do it from
my phone message her message him stop oh you just chat yes say
something. I ask who
what Caitlin Bristol is.
So this is a fake person through Snapchat that you talk to?
It's a friend. It's a red what friend? Is it someone I can
talk to at night when I'm lonely? Yes. Do they just
text or? He's already writing back. I know.
He's the best. Well, he's lonely as well.
Caitlin Bristow is a former bachelorette and podcast
host. She's known for her humor and
honesty. Stop! He's great.
He says nice things. She sounds
lovely.
Okay, was he going to say back? Okay, I could
do this all day. Ask him what you're asking where I should
have dinner tonight, Nashville. Yes, she's great. Do you
Watch the Bachelor of Bachelorette?
Say yes, religiously.
Yes, religiously.
What do you think about Chris Hansing in the fire say?
Who?
Is that his name?
Oh, Chris Harrison.
Harrison.
Chris Hansen is how to catch a predator.
That's what he came in here.
He comes around the corner.
And asks who's your favorite bachelorette.
Well, Caitlin Bristow, of course.
Yeah.
What is he going to say?
Yes, she was definitely one of my favorites, too.
She's so funny and down to earth.
I'm out of here.
She loves you.
I'm out of here.
Does he know it's me?
No.
I'm like shaking.
That's...
Should I
hook up a Colton Underwood again?
He wasn't with you, was he?
No.
But wait, again.
No, I'm only kidding.
He ghosted me like six times.
Six.
He ghosted you six times.
We were supposed to hang out
like a bunch of times
and he could get canceled
like every time.
He's ghosted me a couple times too.
So don't take it personally.
Well, you know why?
She's a shady queen.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
It's in her DNA.
She couldn't help it.
Oh, my God.
She was born to come to fruition, Mama.
Yeah, he's easy looks.
Easy luck.
Well, he starts talking like,
Luxe Noir London when he gets, when he gets going.
RuPaul's Drag Race.
He was supposed to come on our show like five times and he quit.
Did he ghost you too?
He goes to our show.
He ghosted me for plans.
But also the plans is like, was that firm?
Yeah, right?
Yeah, he's like, I'm in town to let's do it tomorrow.
And then he's tomorrow comedy.
He's like, oh, sorry, I'm running late here.
It was just like, you know, he always, you know, he was married right away too.
Like Lucas Gage comes out and then 10 months later, he's married to Chris Appleton.
Yeah.
How come we're not married?
Yeah.
Because my boyfriend's not of age yet.
How old is your boyfriend?
23.
How old are you? 44.
Cute.
I know.
He's the cutest boy in the world.
How did you meet him?
At a bar.
At recess, actually.
At recess.
I met out of bar.
We were at a bar at a soup party.
It was after Barstool event.
I was sent to a bar and he was there.
And I said, I went up to him and I said, should I say?
Yeah, you have to.
How's your audience with graphic?
They love it.
It wasn't graphic.
No one is graphic.
I said my quote, yo, you got a fat ass.
Oh.
That was my hello to him.
Like a P-H-A-T?
Yeah.
And then he said, do you want to eat it?
No, it was not vulgar like that at all.
But it did eventually become vulgar.
And we met, and then we just kind of hung out that night.
And then, you know, we just enjoy each other's company.
And we get along.
He makes me so happy.
Aw.
It's the light of my life.
I love him.
Wow.
Yeah.
Oh, so God, your eyes got glistening.
She said you love him too.
She's over that.
That's really cute.
I'm very, very happy.
I didn't date for almost 12 years.
Holy shit.
I got broken up.
I got cheated on by Tim.
Oh, your little heart was broken?
He was drinking a blue parrot at the time.
What?
And I'm heartbroken and I refuse to go to date ever again.
And I swore it off for almost 12 years.
And I wasn't looking for it.
That was quite the commitment.
Like, I wasn't looking for anything.
I wasn't looking for sex.
I didn't have sex for 10 years.
Holy moly.
So what did that feel like once you started doing it again?
I may have felt tight.
I may have overcommitted slightly.
It just feels great.
It feels right.
Yeah.
Oh, that's really sweet.
And I know it's easy to say it happens when you're never looking for it.
Yeah, no, it really does.
It really,
I was the last thing I've ever even wanted.
I still don't want it.
No,
I do.
But it's like,
it's like,
it's like,
it's like,
it's like,
it's like,
it's like,
I wasn't even,
you know,
expecting anything.
It just happened.
Your eyes literally glisten when you talk about him.
Like,
they get like this glisten.
It's,
it's quite sweet,
actually.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Would you freaky Friday with him?
Um,
no,
because I would be,
I'd be,
I'd be,
I'd be sitting myself and I'd be a nightmare trying to find secrets about it like that he's not telling me.
I'd be like,
He'd be looking over, looking over every inch of his own body.
Yeah.
You'd be on like, what's this for you page all about?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I drive himself crazy.
And you are married?
No, I'm dating.
Oh, day and a half.
They live together.
We live together.
So let's get him pretty serious.
Yeah.
I did not take 10 years of celibacy.
I mean, I don't know.
I miss sexually, unfortunately.
But it's good.
He's been, you know, to the shows.
Our fans know who he is.
I call fish sticks.
He calls him fish sticks to jealousy things.
sticks or sticks sticks oh fish sticks why is that i just you know i when you walked in one day i said
oh i thought i smelled fish sticks it's shade no shade came before reading yeah oh i'm i'm confusing
that oh i thought i smelled fish sticks oh you can change it up for anything you guys i thought
i smelled you know pinot grisio and pills or something you know a bad a bad attitude yeah i thought
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Did you get married to your person?
From the show?
No.
Do you have to force to get married on the show?
No, you get forced to get engaged.
Do you still have the ring?
I do.
Is it Harry Winston?
No, it's...
Neil Lane.
Neil Lane.
Can I have it?
Sure.
Okay.
This couch is doing something for you.
It's the pink against the black and you feel like a little bit of a therapy session.
I feel like I'm going to lay down here.
I might lay down a little bit.
Now, she'll fall asleep.
I know, I need to rest up for the big show tonight.
Oh, my gosh.
I wish I was coming.
Why don't you come?
You should.
I didn't get an invite.
What?
Do you want to be on the show?
Yes.
Can we interview on the stage?
I'm going to bring wine.
I'm going to bring a cold pino grigio.
I'm going to bring wine.
I'm literally coming.
Oh, my God.
I'm so excited we're friends.
I love hanging out backstage at Zanis.
Oh, good.
It's one of my favorite things to do.
I've never been in.
You haven't?
No, we've never been there.
That's her first time.
Casey Musgraves goes there all the time.
She does, yes.
Where she should be there tonight?
She might.
Oh, my God, but the Oilers play tonight and it's playoffs and that's my team.
Is that hockey?
Yeah.
Is that Canadian hockey?
The Edmonton Oilers?
But you know what?
I don't think they play till nine.
So this could be okay.
Perfect.
Well, we can put it on on the stage.
We'll just watch it on stage.
We need to do a show.
Pushing Daisies will have it.
Yeah.
I'll put it on.
How'd have Megan for Pushing Daisy's appearing on the TV.
Now, what if I said the Caitlin Horsesel was showing up?
Now your two is changed.
Do you change like your accents no matter where you go in like?
No, we always talk Southern.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Oh, I love a Southern accent.
I try, but you do a really good one.
Thank you.
Can I be honest for a second.
I'd be honored.
Okay.
So I need you belt to leaf.
when you're roast
Can I walk you out?
Yes, can I walk you out?
Can I bar you for a minute?
Yeah, can I steal you?
Can I steal?
Can I walk you out?
I steal it for a minute.
I love all the sayings.
I still haven't been honest yet.
I'll be honest.
It's time to just lighten the load.
Okay.
We like to get things off our chest here.
I heard about this.
I like to get things on my chest.
Fair.
I wish there's like a like a, like a, oh, I have a roadcaster over there.
It's like a recording thing.
Oh, for here.
Yeah, I should have had a thing that goes to do-d-dun-thin-tun, because that was really good.
Is that a hungry, hungry hippo over there?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Okay, wait.
Jason and I use this all the time to see who has to do, like, dishes or who has to do.
What a fun flirty thing to do in your house?
Isn't it a cute way I'm going to get it?
This is who has to go first.
Okay.
For their, if they want to get something down.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's going to bite me?
I hope you get a first try.
I know.
It's scary.
Okay, wait.
Oh, I love this.
Oh, this is fun.
This is the, I can already tell it's this one going here.
What?
Oh, my God.
The anxiety.
I'm going to scream.
How fun is this?
I want to do this on drugs.
Well, I'll bring it tonight.
I'll bring the hungry, hungry of us tonight.
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
Wait, I have to go first.
Okay.
You guys go first.
I got to get inspired.
This is just a regular old, like, count.
Yeah.
This is just a regular confession about any.
Anything like hookup related.
I have a hookup related story in Nashville that's last time we were here.
Do you remember?
What happened?
The house I went to and I showed up and it was the wrong house.
I know you hooked up with someone.
Oh my God.
You showed up at the wrong house.
Last time I was in Nashville or two times ago I was here.
I was, I go two times ago.
I was single and I went on Grindr.
You were?
Yes.
This was before.
I thought we were dating them.
This was before Barstle versus America.
This was 20.
I was single.
I went on Grindr.
I was chatting with this guy.
Seemed really nice.
Seemed normal.
gave me his Instagram, like we vetted the whole thing.
He goes, show up to this house and we can hang out.
And so he gave me the wrong address.
So I show up to a house.
The heart dick.
I show up to a house.
And then I was tucked into my belt buckle.
And Chris Lephton.
I showed up to a house.
I opened the door.
It's a family of five eating dinner.
The mother grabs her kids like this.
The dad stands up.
The dad's like, who are you?
I go, is he here?
He goes, you were still going to
I go, which one of you?
He goes, he goes, that's next door.
I walk over the guy's house next door.
Why would you?
Why did he answer the door?
He gave me the wrong.
Because he's like just coming when you get here.
Knock and come in.
So I knocked, I opened the door.
The door opened up into the kitchen.
There's a family.
It's like 6 p.m.
Like dad's just home from a long day at work.
Like mom's serving up mac and cheese on the thing.
They're like, who is this large strange man?
Literally.
And they shut up.
I was so mortified.
I was like,
do I just leave and go home?
I did him.
I ended up going next door.
That was the most mortifying like hookup experience of our head.
And also you're in Nashville.
Like it's a little different than New York.
I don't know what,
you know,
daddy's packing at the dinner table.
Stranger barges into your house.
You don't know what's going to happen.
Can you carry a gun here?
Uh,
yeah.
Oh,
does I have one right here?
How do you?
But that was the,
that was like my Nashville
horror story, hookup story.
It was so scared.
And after that, I haven't been on Grinders.
When you walked into the real house,
this is not a thing that gay guys do.
They say, walk in and announce
and I'll be on the floor,
blindfold with my ass to air.
This is not that kind of,
that's not what it was.
Yes.
That's why I met my, my, my ex-husband.
That's why I met, shall we?
Before you came back.
The air, no, and they leave the door open for that.
They have guys, they set them all up,
and they have, um, pump and dump.
They'll just be there all afternoon.
where we're, is this where we're, we're going to talk about pumping dumps?
You don't think she's pumping dumped before?
I know, she never, you never lay in a bed and had strange men come and, uh, in the door and the door and the door and the door and the door and the door and the door and the door just come in, uh, in the door and the door.
This is like the grimyest gay like sex culture shit that we're ever talking about.
What is she didn't invite us over for tea, bitch. I know. And I'm also not, I don't yuck anybody's young.
I love that. I say that. Yes. I say that.
I don't yuck anyone's out.
And I would have been hot if that was it.
But this guy was like, just come over.
So I told him what happened.
And then, you know, after about a good three or four minutes, I was on my knees.
Yeah.
Next thing, I know, I'm on my way out the door.
I should have waved to the guy on my way out.
You hoo-hoo.
You should have a crazy.
You should have just knocked back and been like, sorry at the wrong house, but we're finished here.
Yeah, yeah, left over.
Do you have any greens left?
I live here, like, the Southern hospitality.
I saw those color greens.
Oh, my gosh.
Like, I am so vanilla with no sprinkles.
because I, look, my, like, craziest hookup story was, like, one time I, like, had
boob, like, cups in, like, to make my boobs look bigger.
Yeah, yeah.
But I must have put my boob cutlets, like, on the pillow.
Yes.
And he had woken up and left the next morning.
And I, like, rolled over and I looked in it.
The light was, like, shining in.
I, like, probably had, like, a black hair on my chin.
Yes.
And I, like, looked over, and my chicken cutlets were just sitting on the pillow.
Yeah.
Well, nowadays, the guys are become used to between the hair extensions, the fake lashes.
is the fucking push up bras the
he put him on a plate with some
high heels yeah
they're trying to eat them in the morning
yeah they're used to everyone's like drag queens
now there's you know yeah
are we're used to it
are we're getting something off our chest
or we're telling a story
we never told before
would either one
oh is that a sunglasses a bin
does yeah does it make you feel better
like big daddy
when you put on sunglasses
and then you feel like people can't see you
oh my god that that ring
beautiful oh look like salt bay
there you go
okay picture it
the year was 1997
shit 97 98 probably
Reagan had just gotten out of office
1998 I was in my master protege
Oh okay with clip on spinner rims
Talk to me girl
Intented windows
Wow
Um I was with my
I can't say her name because she's
Say it
She's famous but I was with my famous friends
I remember what I was wearing
Me High Payless boots
Okay
A hot pink bikini
String bikini
I need to see this
Tucked for the gods
Yeah
Feathers glore made me a gaffe at the time
What kind of lingerie?
It was Patricia Fields had to show Mama.
Talk to me, girl.
I was wearing a hot pink string bikini, top and bottom,
and I had a sarong, a gray, like this like mesh, like sarong thing on.
How big was the hoop?
I didn't have hoopieries on.
I had said, that's dutz.
Oh.
And a Louis Vuitton bag.
No time bag.
Yeah.
Louis Vuittonbaugh the baguette.
Or maybe a bendy baguette.
Okay.
And I was driving cars.
We were leaving the gig, Mama.
We just like got down.
I didn't drink back then.
I didn't drink back then, so I was driving my master
project. And then we were, like, in traffic
on, like, 17th Street, I believe.
It was 17th Street.
And there's Hagenad's truck.
And, like, he's, like, parked.
Like, we're like, the truck is here on the side
that we're, like, unloading ice cream and stuff.
And we're in the car and, like, we're listening to music
and having fun.
Like, we're just like, you know, we look like.
You're on ecstasy.
We're looking hot.
Yeah.
We're looking good.
Real good.
So the guy starts, like, talking to us,
flirting with us through the window.
and then he
we were like flurting back and forth
I don't know if we knew that we were
we were cross-dressers
I don't think you really care
You weren't clocked at the time
You didn't get to get smooth
We didn't get squeakable
Yeah
So we
I don't know what one thing led to another
And we got him to give us ice cream
out of his back of his truck
But then he said
It's gonna cost you
We both got into the back of the truck
He shut the door and we sucked his cock
for free ice cream
or you already had free ice cream
and then you did it
yeah but we got more
oh yeah
a second scoop
yeah a second scoop
the first scoop is free
second scoop's gonna cost you
I wonder where he is today
but that's the second time
yeah we also do that
with a custodian at a hotel
a janitor of the hotel
do you
get a little nervous
back then
yeah
no I was I was you know
he was in his pre-pre
era
it was a different time
I get scared
when you hook up
with ice cream delivery drivers
yeah
bachelor audience is stronger or stronger than bravo easily they're crazy bachelor fans are
oh you know who loves to bachelor and bachelor ryan fran they let you know there of course they're
awesome look it up there i have off the vine with friends up in the top right corner bar stool fans are
pretty legit too though by the yeah yeah we love fran and ria they're so nice so down to earth
and they're like everyone on the bachelor with them bachelor bachelor baturette they all come on their
show they have the after show shout it to kelly keeks too if you're like kelly if you like the bachelor
and that's right make sure you check out that show because they do an awesome it's called uncut stems uncut stems
isn't it cutting cutting stem stop you're thinking uncut gems you're thinking uncut gems you're thinking
uncut gems i'm like i would love to have her on okay her and sam are my and who else did i want
to add to that list sam brittany spirit's husband what do you think about what's that into the camera
exactly whoa exactly what's that call her daddy Alex Cooper oh Alex Cooper oh Alex Cooper oh I love her
Alice Cooper said it was the guitarist with the hat.
What do you think of Alice Cooper?
Great musician?
I don't know.
I think I have my wall up there.
She's engaged.
Yeah, I know.
I saw that.
I really, and she has evolved so much and I really like that.
I do, too.
She doesn't know who I am, though.
I'm sure she does.
I used to share a desk with her back in the day at Barstool.
Did she follow you?
No.
Should I call her right now on speaker?
Yeah.
Well, guys, I have a douche jar right here.
What is that?
Where if I say something, do she have to put a dollar in?
She follows me, so.
Does she?
I don't have a dollar, but...
Can I have that, though?
Can I barf that money?
We open it up until we rolled up $100 bills.
Lines of code behind it.
You text you tonight and say, why aren't you following, Joey?
Okay, I will.
Do you think Snooky watched me on Dancing with the Star?
Yes, of course you did.
I really like her.
No, I'm sure she's a big fan of yours.
She's going to get jealous, though.
Why?
She doesn't let me hanging out with other celebrities.
Oh, she's very territorial.
She's much a bigger celebrity than, no.
I don't consider myself a celebrity.
I consider myself just recognizable from television.
No, you are.
You're a celebrity.
All the reason she's here
because she's a huge family
I'm driving you
Oh, that's nice
Right
That's very sweet
Thank you
Tell me you like me
Out loud, Leah
Saying it to the microphone
And her sister you'll meet tonight
She is a she's a big fan as well
She listens to a podcast
Yeah she does
I don't watch The Bachelor
But my sister is like
Like she makes her husband watch The Bachelor
Yeah
Oh
She's like she has to be
She has to be at 8 o'clock
She watches she watches
She watches Jeopardy and the Bachelor
Two things
End day line
She will go mute
yeah she will go
me to have a few pinot rizios she's the best oh really
I will have a few pinot grigios
tonight is that what you drink wine
yeah I drink wine I'm so I'm so excited
I'm so excited I'm so excited I say this in the car
I said let's say let's I said
do you think she'll come on our show tonight
how fun
wait really if you actually want to come
of course yeah we would love to have you
no I'm definitely coming 100%
you have my word
we're not going to tell you one now
don't you can or you can't
okay okay we'll surprise
everyone will be like who's this girl
do you like what audience do you have oh it's all drunk girls 90 it's all 100% this is maybe a couple husbands here and there but it's all right I love that um wait I drink gin martinis me too you do you do yes dirty or no me I'm a twist oh I do olives I do always if I'm drinking Hendrix I'll do a twist yes or a cucumber if they have it yes of course but if I'm drinking chagrere um I'll do it with um just dry with olives yeah it's like good last night we went to um steak oysters and steak oysters and steak oysters
Oh, Southern.
Southern.
Southern.
The most New York bar ever in the middle of that show.
That's, oh, there's so many recommendations for you while you here.
Oh, good.
Oh, good.
My boyfriend comes tomorrow.
Oh, fine.
So we want to do, and we're here so Sunday.
We have to entertain those, those rowdy kids.
So I want to do all the things.
I mean, the only thing I had planned is, um, tomorrow we have, they have the people
got us tables at, um, Miranda Lambert's place, right?
Rosa, is that fun.
It's really fun.
So Costa Rose, we have a table there.
Yeah.
And we're having dinner there, too.
It's really good.
And then we have Luke's 30 to the next day.
Do you get, oh, that's fun too.
Do you like Nashville hot chicken?
Yeah, yes.
Okay, they're hot chicken tacos.
My mouth is watered.
It's so good.
Can I ask you a sensitive question?
Is how do you be's overrated?
Is there better options?
It's really good.
That's what he had it last night.
I had a last night.
And did you love it?
I love it.
It was right here to my hotel.
It's not a sandwich?
Yeah, it's like you can get at, light, dark, can get a sandwich.
Did he need to put you up in their spot?
No, we got it.
They said we could stay there, but I have a large group.
Yeah.
I prefer luxury boutiques.
Yeah.
I feel that.
I feel that.
I feel that.
How you put it was delicious?
Yes.
Is it fun?
Yes.
I'm so excited.
And I feel like you did a good podcast there.
Yeah.
Oh, cool.
I've done one a couple times.
I don't know why I was feeling like so many great, like the legends of comedic comedy have performed there.
I feel like cheesy going into a podcast for some reason.
I know.
You should have.
No, you should.
It's like, it's like it's very.
The room is like so, like such like a famous room that those greatest people.
perform there and I feel like going in podcast
it's like they can wear a joke or something.
I hear you but you know what I mean?
No.
You don't care about what the staff thing?
The people are working.
Our people are coming for us.
I know they don't care about it's just like, do you know what I mean?
You want to be accepted as a camera broke.
No, it's this one, but it's fine.
I still have this one on all three of us.
You want to be accepted as a comedian.
Yeah, comedian.
Well, we're going to do a lot of.
We're going to be like stand up crowd work shit too, right?
I'm going to sit down.
I'm going to be standing.
I hear you because there's like legendary faces all over.
Yeah.
And then I'm like, and Caitlin Bristow, like what?
Yeah, yeah.
It just doesn't, I bring the group average down.
No, but you know what I'm saying, though, right?
Don't you feel that?
I know what you mean, but it's not.
I know that we're good enough, but it's like, it's a lot.
It's like, imposter syndrome, too, is a great.
That's what I have.
I'm like, I'm doing a podcast here.
It's like Theo Vaughn, all these people were just here.
Dave Chappelle was here.
It's like, Chelsea Handler, right?
I love her.
I love her too.
Did you see that recent video?
She just did where she's like smoking weed, making fun of Tucker.
That was everything.
Oh, my God.
This night.
Yep.
Tucker's coming to the show.
Yeah.
He's going to be a third night.
And the ghost of Jerry Springer will be there as well.
I know the late Jerry Springer.
He died?
He died?
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Poor him went out.
He wasn't that old either.
We got the 79.
79?
How did he die?
He was 79 years old.
Oh, R-I-B.
That's so sad.
We got a viral limit now.
If Caleb also finds out, I'm live on air.
I remember.
Jerry says that I ruined the show.
Now it's the death on the show.
I ruined the show.
No, that's a good way to end it.
We will dedicate this episode to Jerry Springer.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to pour one out tonight.
Yeah, well, let's pour him out.
And I have a hot chicken tender in his honor.
That sounds really nice.
And I'll dress up as Steve tonight.
All right, good.
So we have these things on our punch list.
You have to get me, um, a plan for the rest of the weekend, for things to do.
Okay.
Can we go, can you bring us to the rooftop where I'm dolly part and rooftop?
Yeah.
That's so fun.
What's a dolly part and rooftop?
It's her hotel.
It's her hotel.
There's a dolly hotel here.
But I'm not staying at?
No, and there's like, the rooms are so beautiful and they have pictures of Dolly in them.
I love her.
You're going to be my friend Alex Bennett tonight.
You're going to love her.
She's not a bachelor up, but she could be.
She's married to a billionaire.
Her husband owns the Thunder.
We love it for her.
The Thunder.
Oklahoma City Thunder.
Oh, wow.
Definitely billionaire.
Yeah.
Okay.
So if you're impressed by strangers with money, that'll be a good one.
No, she's loved.
She's like one of my closest friends.
Cool.
She's great.
Oh, I can't wait.
I mean her closer than newly enough.
Why is she not paying for all the bottle service?
We have to trick right to it.
We got her
We got to get her a couple
We got to check her into it
She's leaving tomorrow.
She's leaving tomorrow.
She has to be Kentucky.
Can I just say I'm so excited for you to like,
if you actually come tonight?
She is.
The level of like enthusiasm and drunkness and just
insanity out of our fans,
you are going to be like we're going to walk out.
You're going to be like,
what the stuff is going to happen.
I got attacked by sassy,
um,
sassy ladies and there's silver years yesterday.
Remember?
They're all over place.
Okay.
You have to get,
call her daddy to follow me.
Okay.
You have to find us fun things to do all weekend.
Okay.
You have to.
Sell out our show.
Sell our show.
Okay.
You have to...
That's it.
Just have a good time.
Okay.
Yeah, just have a good...
Above all, just have a good time.
Can you bring Pino with you?
Yes.
Okay.
I really have fun today.
I know.
I'm so.
I've been friends.
Forever.
What a pleasant?
Was the bar in hell for me?
No, I didn't know.
No one told me what we were doing saying.
I didn't know.
I know it was yesterday where I was coming.
Oh.
I knew I had some podcast.
I had no idea where...
I'm not to thinking about you.
I just, um, I never read the email.
You know, I don't really have nothing to do with you at all.
And I'm so pleasant.
We just don't put on our schedule.
You're so fabulous.
Yeah.
And I'm so glad to hate you.
You're going to love her.
Yeah.
I didn't deny that.
I didn't deny that.
I just really had no, I didn't look at the email either.
And I was like, who is it?
He's like, pull up the email on my phone.
And I was like, oh, my gosh.
I almost slapped up.
I go, I go, do your research, please.
I don't know.
No, I just never read, I never read the email.
I like going to into things like that.
Me too.
Yeah.
Each day.
I was.
We know what two golden retrievers.
My day can't get better.
So it was only downhill from there.
I don't know.
I'm going to bring some wine to the show tonight.
Now we're going to bring up Spade and Sparrow.
Now is it Pino-No-No-Noarro.
I have a Pino-Noir, a pino-grisio, a rose, and a cab.
Ooh, good for you.
Is it from Sutherland wine?
It's, no.
It's from Sonoma.
So no, who's the winer?
Who's the distributor?
Don Sebastianian sense.
Oh, perhaps you've heard of them.
They've been in the wine business for over a hundred years.
My dream is to have my wine.
Call Nana's nectar.
well i can i can't i can't be part of that can you yeah i do i literally created my wine from like
from like like like a wine maker help me and i yeah yeah yeah chose different like he has wine too
she does called messy mama oh okay i would love that yeah yeah we come on our we meet me a
show as well of course we're coming out tonight live yeah but i will come on any show anytime
i'm so happy we're friends i'm so happy we're all friends yes of course oh my gosh we're changing
numbers after this and
I know.
Yeah.
We're like,
Realty stars.
For trying to end the show
for 20 minutes.
I know.
No, I love this.
Her roommate's coming home
so we have to go.
Yeah, I'm like,
my roommate,
a.k.
my fiance is going to be home.
No,
I want to let the dogs out.
But tell everybody
where they can find your podcast.
Out and About Podcasts
at Barstool Sports Network.
Anywhere, find podcasts
can be found.
And you can follow us on
Instagram at Out and About.
And you can follow me
and Instagram, Joey Kamasta.
You follow me on Instagram,
Barstool Pat and TikTok.
The Out About TikTok.
That's what you want
everyone to follow.
TikTok is where we were talking about.
TikTok is difficult for us to use.
I thought they're canceling TikTok.
No, TikTok.
Do you want to throw it away?
Everything out and about.
That's all you got to remember.
Yeah, everything out and about.
And Wednesdays and Wednesdays and Friday.
Wednesdays and Friday.
Wednesdays and Thursday.
Good.
That's what we did ours on Wednesday and Friday.
See?
Everything happens for a reason.
I'm Caitlin Bristow.
I'll see you next Tuesday.
See your next Tuesday.
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