Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Becca & Thomas: He Said Yes!

Episode Date: June 7, 2022

Well, well, well… how the turntables. The cutest newly-engaged couple, Becca Kufrin and Thomas Jacobs, joins Kaitlyn on today’s episode to spill all the deets about the proposal that really said F the patriarchy. Kaitlyn is asking ALL the questions: Was she nervous? Was he surprised? Did she get mom’s blessing? What do they envision for their wedding (spoiler alert: NOT the traditional wedding)? Tommy explains why he’s feeling like a bad bitch and what plans he has in store for Becca. The two of them answer Vino questions, share their confessions, and play a couple of games that give us some behind-the-scenes of their relationship. Tommy really did go from a d-bag to a charmer and Becca from a nervous Nellie to a confident AF engaged gal who would give 5-years of burritos and a goat to keep this man in her life forever (we’ll explain). EUROPEAN WAX CENTER - Make a reservation today—your first wax is free. HYUNDAI - Learn more at HyundaiUSA.com.   BIRDY GREY - Visit birdygrey.com and get 3 swatches for free + free shipping in the US with promo code VINE. JENNI KAYNE - Find your forever pieces at jennikayne.com and get 15% off your first order when you use code VINE at checkout. VIZZY - To find Vizzy near you go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/VINE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This episode is brought to you by European Wax Center. You donate a summer getaway to transport yourself. You can book yourself a smooth escape with the Wax experts at European Wax Center. Make a reservation today. Your first wax is free. This week's pod is brought to you by Hyundai and the 2022 Tucson and Santa Fe plug-in hybrid EVs. Learn more about the widest. range of electrified vehicles at hunday usa.com hey everybody you're listening to katelyn bristow's

podcast off the vine take it away brie whine lots of wine hey be on the mic turn it up let's go hey ramen pinot ready for the show everyone's welcome so come on in because o t viz it's about to begin hey welcome to off the vine i'm your host katelyn bristow and you know what they say good things come to those who wait. So even though this episode was a little late today, it is so worth it because I have my good friend, Becca Kufrin, and her new Fianca. That's what my, uh, Siri says. I'll go, hey, Siri, call my fiance. It goes, calling Fianca. So yeah, her Fianca Tommy, who she proposed to, patriarchy, who? Never heard of them. Anyways, I get all the dirty deeds about the proposal and we celebrate with a few glasses of our favorite wines, our own

obviously. Thomas isn't the only boss-ass bitch. You'll see what I mean later. So cheers, Vino's. Enjoy my chat with the cute and happy engaged couple. Stretch it out, Tommy. There she is. Where are you guys are?

What? Cheers! Cheers, everybody. Good to see you again. I am like going to cry. I just seeing you guys. is the way I have to sit. I miss seeing the space. I miss hearing your voice.

It's good to be back. It's probably too soon to immediately say this. If you cry, it might be because the Edmonton Oilers get swept. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm following along to the game. I'm putting good energy to them.

I know. They're going to turn it around. Stay strong. It couldn't do without you. Canada couldn't do without you. Go, Kately and go sports. Go sports. I actually just got a hat that says go sports.

I'm literally, the score like up here just in case anything crazy happens but i'm sure you yeah see we're on the same page so we can well we're going to be celebrating you to this whole time but maybe we'll be drowning my sorrows in a loss or maybe we'll be cheering because they're winning i don't know either way it's going to be a good time celebratory drinks all around either way we're celebrating tonight oh my gosh i and i mean the last time i saw you two was when was it was it after the final rose of the last one when we all went out for drinks after right you mean the time where you hosted solo and and you crushed it.

It was one of the all-time greatest performances that this world has ever seen. Yeah, I do think that was the last time. You know what? You needed to hype me up there because you really brought me down with the whole Oilers thing. So thank you for turning the beat around. Thank you. I had so much fun doing that. There's give and taking everything.

Damn, that was in December. It's been a while. I know. But let me say that we were sitting there all having drinks and you looked at my ring and you said, Tommy, take notes on the ring. now in the turn of events as you say the the tables were turned and I could not be I could not be more obsessed with this move because I always say like Becca's such a progressive woman and like I feel like you're just so inspirational in that way where I honestly would have loved to do that what like was that was this a huge surprise like I don't want to just jump right into it but yes I do I can't talk about anything else until I know everything it was I mean yeah the of a lifetime for him, he had zero clue, which that's what I wanted it to be. I mean, we talked about getting engaged. And so that wasn't the surprising part. But he had no idea.

Even when he showed up to the whole setup the night it happened, he made a joke. And he's like, oh, are you proposing to me tonight? Like totally joking. And then it washed out of his mind. Like literally 90% of the time we were there for the proposal. I didn't realize it was a proposal. He had no idea. And even that last 10% was a little shamed. Like, I had no clue. As I was popping the question, asking him literally saying, Thomas, I love you. I want to send my life with you. Will you marry me?

He's laughing. Like, are you for real? He like didn't even think. He thought I was joking for most of it. It was like one of those blown away moments. I mean, I spent 30 years of life on this planet and not once have I ever had a singular thought go through my mind. Oh, yeah.

I'm going to one day become engaged when my fiancee proposes to me. Right. Yeah, you probably had a plan in your head. Oh, I still have a plan in my head. That's one of the things that also just took me by, it was amazing. It literally was, it just swept me off my feet. I didn't have any other emotions other than just pure joy that expressed itself. It's maniacal laughter.

Like, 10 minutes. I mean, Caitlin, I feel like you of all people, you can identify with that. I did the exact same thing. I, like, just evil cackled for like a good 20 minutes. Actually, for a good, like, week, I think I just cackled to myself. I will say, because I listened to the podcast when Jason popped the question for you. And it was so hilarious because, I mean, you could just tell your shots. You know, you had no idea.

It was such a pure reaction. And I honestly think the only other thing that I've ever seen that beats your reaction to getting proposed is his. It was his. You have it still. We would all here, Caitlin. She's like, oh, your moment was so special. I enjoyed it so much. His was better.

No, but they were both so funny because Caitlin's yours was all recorded. Yours, unfortunately, wasn't, and I wish it was, but it was just, they were both hilarious. I was going to say, I'm on that same breath as Caitlin Bristol. We're doing something like. I feel like I get that like shock value of like, you're like, is this happening and you're just so overcome with emotion that you don't even understand what's coming out of your mouth or your facial expressions or like what you're doing with your body? Like you just are like so in the moment and so just like overwhelmed with joyful emotion that

you've probably never even experienced before that you're like, this is an out-of-body moment. And I just always see you too, you're always doing romantic things. Like you're, so I feel like it probably didn't throw you off that you're having like a frickin picnic by the water or whatever you were doing. Like, what did that, Becca? Oh, God, I have so many questions. Becca, were you shitting your pants? Like, were you so nervous or were you like, I forgot this?

No. Okay. So up until that day, I mean, because I hadn't planned for, at least, a month and a half. So I knew what I was going to do when it was the time from of when it was going to happen. And I was so set. And I always thought like when people get engaged, why are, you know, for the most part, why is the guy so nervous? It's like, obviously, no, you're going to spend your life with somebody. Hopefully by that point, you're in love. You know, it's a done deal. She's going to say yes. Right. But I will say that day, I don't know if we've

talked about the nervy poops on the podcast. If we have or haven't, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. It's, it's such a thing. And that day, knowing he was still going to say yes, I was still so nervous and anxious. I don't think I slept the night before because I'm running through everything in my head of like, totally. Hey, what, like, what if he says this or does this? I'm just like trying to prep for everything. And I was so nervous. Like that day, I did not leave the bathroom. I was so freaking out the nervy poops. Like literally there was one point where I knew I needed a loan time because I had like certain things I wanted to plan. And so I kept trying to kick him out of the house.

he would not leave. And so I was getting so frustrated. I'm like, just leave. Go run. Get outside. But yeah, I was, I was freaking out that day. I just picture you like sitting on the toilet with a glass of champagne, like nerves in like feeling it that way and then going out the other end just being like, okay, what am I going to do? Trying to like stay calm and like hydrate as it's all coming out. I love the fact. I look down at like the clock ticker. It was slightly over five minutes we started to talk about poop. And quite frankly, that's the exact timeline. If someone's like, hey, how soon do you think something's going to be mentioned? Only with Caitlin. She's the only person I feel comfortable with talking about you. I still get rid of about you talking about,

I have to go talk to a man about a horse. Like I randomly just randomly just laugh about that. Like I'll just be sitting here reading some sort of got to go talk to a man about a horse. We also had a horse that I got from the farmer's market that I wanted to wear and we can't find it. And so I was like, shit, it's been a perfect time to be rocking the horse sweater. I'm sure these are all the gripping details you're anticipating. You know what? I feel like anything goes on this podcast, which is why I love doing this, because I'm like, we can go from like the most romantic conversation to talking about shit in a matter of five minutes. And I'm like, this is very on brand for me. Like, it makes sense.

So it's real. Well, and I always get the nervous poops. And I've talked about that. I had Kelly Osborne off my podcast and I told her I shit my pants before talking to her. because I was so nervous. And she was like... How was that on Dancing with the Stars? That sounds like the worst combination of all time. Like jump into a plieie. I think that's what is called.

And all of it, like, oh. Yes, that happened. Actually, I can't believe that's never happened on live television. Like, people have actually... I think Sunni Lee got, like, sick to her stomach and had to run off stage once. But I would always go to this one handler. And I would be like, take me to the upstairs bathroom.

And every time, if we got a good score, I'd be like, it's because you let me show. it before I went out there. I don't relate to demons. Yes. You'd jump higher. Exactly. I would like release and then I'd go out there and put on my best performance.

And so that's what you did. You shit your brains out. You're so nervous. And then you went and you gave your best performance. That's not the most beautiful sentiment of all time. Isn't it? You're never going to look at the toilet the same. Just give me a second, guys.

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Wait, did you cry? Did you get emotional? Did you cry? Becca, did you get down on one knee? How did you do it? I did not get down on one knee only because... She asked if I wanted to go on one knee. I did ask, but we were also stuck under this very low picnic table,

and there was a tent kind of connected to the back, and I was like, if one of us moves, this, all of this is coming down. Oh, yeah. I booty bumped it like five times already. Booty bump. He almost knocked everything over. So I didn't get down on one knee, but I did ask for, I talked to his mom, asked, got the blessing. And I did officially say, will you marry me?

I was like, I just need to make sure I get those words out. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Wait, you asked his mom because didn't you say somewhere that he needs to ask your mom 100% before he asked? So you, again, just like went to his mom. And what was her reaction? Was she like, of course, oh my gosh, or was she like, are you sure you want to do this? Like, what was it just like, of course?

No, yeah, she was like, oh, honey, you don't even need to ask us. You're already part of this family. But she's like, we love you. So that was, yeah, and she's so, like, his mom is such a badass. She could be thinking of 27 different things and have like a thousand different conversations all at once. So she started talking about like her house that they're working on, how she lost her cat, like everything. So, yeah, I mean, I've already felt like I'm. part of the family and I hope I think you feel like you're part of mine but I just wanted to make

my basis because I was like it's not fair for him you know I keep pushing he has to get my mom's blessing I was like I got to do the same like I want an equal 50 50 partnership here so I got how to do it I was like I can't go into this not on the right foot so right meanwhile my dad's is floating around into ether doing Lord knows what during that but my favorite thing of that because I my dad and she asked my mom and then when I said that we're getting I got engaged I go cops. I'm getting married. He goes, who's the dude and does Becca know? No. Is that what he said? Without skipping a beat. And I started cracking and we're going, no, Becca proposed. He's like, what? Yeah. He loved it as well. And it's just been, it's been awesome.

Yeah. And his dad, I mean, he's military. He's like this early dude. I don't know, like, if he's a big hugger. But when we told him and he saw me, he hugged me and like pulled me into the tightest hug. I was not expecting. It's like he grabbed me and hugged me and then he like pulled me in tighter and then he gave me a nougie and I was like, okay, I'm part of the fam. It's a fish. Oh, that is a fish.

You got the nuggie, so I don't know. I'll get a nuggie. And you can ask for from the kernel. From the kernel. Wow. Yeah, that would really do it for me. If I got a nuggie from a kernel, I'd be like, he loves me. I mean, you might like me more than you, Thomas.

The last time I got a nougie. I was going to say, I was going to say, little Thomas is probably like, I want to know he. Why can't that be me? Just Tommy, why are you crying? I'm not crying. I'm happy about the proposal. In all fairness, my mom probably likes you more than me.

So it's kind of even self- Your mom is just one of my favorite humans of all time. Like your families just must be so happy for the two of you because I think we all knew like, oh, this seems to be it for you. Like, you guys just fit together so well, you have such a fun. loving, happy relationship. I've seen you in person. Like, I was expecting this. I just love that it was not what I was expecting at the same time. And I just think that's so you. It's so you to propose. And I just love every second of it. I wish you had it on film because I want to

make it into a movie. You should pitch it. Oh, we should, ooh. If you could, I don't know. If you saw the proposal on film, you would just like feel bad for this oblivious man, just walking around clueless what it should be I thought this was a wine photo shoot yeah for the entire time because that's what I told him to get in there I want because I wanted him to dress well yeah and just show up on time so I could be like it's for Bordone's photo shoot you know we'd punch this new wine so

honestly I I asked him to marry me and he still thought it was for the wine that was important we're at a wine photo it took right into the last final second so I was like oh this isn't a wine photo shoot yeah the photographer was already gone the picnic was packed up and he realized oh this is real oh that's so sweet wait i just had something and i need to say before it goes don't let it go kately uh oh becca did you always know that this was what you wanted to do or was this like a spur of the moment like actually i think i'm going to propose yeah it was it was more spur of the moment so for the longest time i always just thought he was going to because we had talked about rings that i would like

and he kind of had an idea of things that I would enjoy. And going back to the precedent of having to get the Hope Diamond like Caitlin Bristow has on her finger. I will say. So thanks for, thanks for that, Caitlin. Every time my bank account, thanks you. Every time he can ask me about what I would like, he'd always compare it to yours, like, you know, size or like everything. And I'm like, you know, I like Caitlin's, but it was really weird.

I went into my jeweler. I'm like, yeah, so I need something. You may or may not need a wheelbarrow. to carry around your wrists. It's just, I was like, oh, you saw Caitlin Bristos. You saw Caitlin Bristos ring. I was like, yeah, that's the one.

Yeah. Oh, gosh. No, I, I didn't really start actually considering it and like planning it until I was on tour. It was in April. And I finally got to the point where I was like, look, I love this man. We already know we want to spend our lives together. And you know coming from the show, things aren't on your term. when you got engaged in the past, it was all up to this huge productions wants.

Like you had no say, your partner at that time had no say. And I was like, I've done that twice. I don't want to do that again. And not to say that that's how Thomas's would be because it would be completely different. But I was like, I've never been in this position where I can decide and I can make it super special for my partner and just show them, I want to meet them halfway and put all that I can into this relationship in this future. So I was like, I was talking to one of my best friends.

who used to work on the show and I was just and she knows Thomas super well and we were like it like screw the gender norms of like what's traditional like we love each other and I was like I think it's badass I think it's red so why not go for it and so yeah her and I just started talking and putting it together and and I really wanted to just the one thing that I wanted to be cognizant of the entire time was I knew he had something special planned and I don't I never wanted to take away from his moment because I'm sure also like as a man and a partner that's something really special. that he's right thought about and so when i went into it i just wanted to make that very clear of like i don't want to take away from you and what you have planned i want to add to that and i want to meet you

halfway and be 50 50 and so like this isn't to steal your thunder but i just want you to know that i love you and i'm in this position where i want to spend my entire life with you i want to you know go all in too just like you would for me and so yeah such a monica from friends move and also I think that's so romantic that like you're not like you said you don't want to take that away and like who freaking decided how many centuries ago that it's you know the man that has to ask the woman and then if you actually dive deep into like where marriage even started it's like about a man owning a woman like we're past that his property yeah like sewing all that he owns and you know what like so in that same vein if you had to barter for me how many flocks of sheep would you have been willing to trade Oh, like a tan. I love this. For you, I would want to trade. Wait, so this is me giving it to your family. Yes. You approached my parents and you say, I want to offer you. I want your son. I want your son in exchange for, well, what do I have two dogs? No, I'm keeping them. I would say, knowing your family, I would trade for food. So I would say I would give you burritos for five years. I'm worth five years of burritos to you. That's a lot of burritos. A lot of burritos. Plus, I would buy, you know, I would maybe give them a nice little goat. Oh, five years of

burritos and a goat. I mean, you can't put a value on a goat. I mean, they're so cute. You can do yoga with them. The acronym's greatest of all time. Yeah. Gift that keeps on giving. It really is. Wow. that's, you know what? That's more than I thought you were going to offer. Five years of breed on a goat. That's love. And they're foolish not to take that. And you know what? I wouldn't even use it with the Chipotle gold card. I would buy that shit for them. Wait, do you have one with those? No, I'm trying. So when she was saying, you didn't want my take away from my plan, the plan was just like

disengaged in her Chipotle because, I mean, obviously. I would love it. I mean, I have to ask though, do you still have a plan? Like, do you still want to do that? Is this a secret? Are you like, maybe I will, maybe I won't? Or are you like, yeah, I have a plan. Yeah, no, I've, I have a plan, like, I already fully detailed the eyes are crossed, the teaser dotted. Like, I knew exactly how I was going to go. And then, like, it was great. I picture myself just driving this steady car down a one-way freeway, just like, everything's good. And all of a sudden, she goes, zoom and by me. I'm like, what the fuck was this? I'm still on that road. I have everything planned out. It's going to be, it's going to blow her away. She's going to be, happy. She's going to be excited. Oh my gosh. See, that's so special. Now I'm like, shit, if I could redo mine, I would do it first. I'm so competitive. I'm like, I'm going to first. Yeah. Well, here's, here's a thing. There's no saying that you can't do that. That's true. Hey, that's a good idea. I still could. Yeah. There are no. No, that's, you know what? I'm competitive, but I'm not a thunderstealer. And I am going to let you have that moment because that is awesome.

and it's just so I just love it and I feel like I love that you both have a plan that you're both just like hey we want to spend the rest of our lives together so here's what it is like how how special did that feel for you once you realize like once it's soaked in and once you're like holy shit it's not like I'm just choosing her like she's chosen me and like the ultimate flattery yeah because I ton of mixed reaction from it my DMs from friends from oh sure and one of our close friends guy thinks funny as all get out. He goes, all right, I got to know. How demasculates that a feel? I'm like, not at all. Are you kidding me? Like, if anything, like, that is the biggest compliment that she wants to tie me down, that she's in repose to me. Just like,

what? Am I a trophy husband now? Like, do I walk different? Do I talk different? Do I wear a monocle? Like, where do I go from here? This is astounding. Do I wear a monocle? I mean, the world is now your oyster, like colors in the sky are brighter, the better on my face. I will say he's such. I mean, I'm sure when every woman gets engaged, you know, and of course, you know, because you have this beautiful, massive rock on your hand, you know, you kind of show it off and you want everyone to see the blank.

He's been doing that same exact thing. Oh, it's sick. Honestly, in every photo. It's sick. Oh, sorry. So every photo we take, wait, wait, let me, let me hold on. it with my left hand. Let me make sure that my left hands out. All right. So there's only one real way to say this. Having a ring on your finger as a male when your partner propose you as a

female. You just feel like a bad bitch. It's boiled down, plain and simple. Like if you ask me, all right, how does it feel that Becca proposed to you? I would say, you know what, Your Honor? I feel like a bad bitch. You are a bad bitch. I rest my case. You know what? You are a bad bitch and that ring is badass and i i just think that must be such a cool feeling too because in my brain i go i can't wait to see a ring on jason's finger like i think that's gonna be so hot and you probably didn't like expect that or obviously you didn't expect that or know what that would feel like and now you're like wearing it with pride when there's so many losers not to call your friend a loser but i feel like there's so many like so out of the norm

no one's ever really thought like they would be proposed to as far as like most men yeah They can't relate to it before it happened. I couldn't relate to it. Right. All of a sudden, I'm over here maniacally cackling and pure joy. It's amazing. Yeah.

And I will say, like we've received, since we announced it, we've received so much support and love and well wishes, which has been incredible. But of course, you have those people like on Instagram and through social media.

Oh, God, of course. Like the trolls who, you know, anything good that happens, they have to try to diminish it or say something that goes against the grain. And basically like, course. I mean,

there was so much love, but then there was also those like comments or DM sprinkled in of like, oh, you must be desperate as the woman to propose to the man. And I would never do that. And I would never want my man to do that. That's not traditional. And I'm like, how, like, how explained to me, does this make me as a woman desperate to want to spend my life with the same guy does it? It's the best thing ever. It just doesn't make sense.

And like, so there's always that. I would say because as men, especially in like your two situations and scenarios. We are desperate. Do you think Casey and I aren't desperate to spend the rest of our lives with you guys? Sweet. I was like, you guys are lucky. And we are so fortunate.

Yeah, it's just misogyny. Like, it's people just have these, and it's the way they've been raised and it's all they know. And they would just not have, you know, the confidence to do that themselves. And like you said, people will tear you down no matter. I was in pure joy when Jason proposed to me. and people are like, oh, my God, real classy or, like, swearing and blah, blah, blah, like, they'll find anything. So the fact that you're like, I don't give a, and I love that Thomas, you're like, I don't give, this is a form of flattery, and I have a plan back, and she's going to be just as, you know, surprised and excited. I just think it's so freaking romantic.

You need to pitch this, like, get on it, be executive producers of a, like, Netflix show, make this a movie, something, because don't let other people drive us. on that, if we do make this a movie, I want you to play me in it. Like, quite frankly, I'm looking at the Zoom screener. I don't know which screen is yours or which is mine. I can't tell us apart. Like, the similarities are there. I am a rather large figure

and I have been known to deadlift some pounds. So, yeah, I could. On the left hand to hold up that rock. Oh, I love it. I have so many questions for you guys from listeners that are so cute. but before I do that I hate even asking this

but you guys said you've talked about it you've like have you even because I will say Jason I kind of planned some stuff before we even got engaged have you already planned anything what like have you been like okay we're going to do it in San Diego or like around this time or are you still like

you know what we're going to just enjoy this because we've planned a bit we don't have like the final details no no no when he says we've planned a bit we have not planned we've thrown out ideas because I know people listen are going to be like, oh, they have plans. We don't. Yeah. Yeah. We want to throw an absolute rager. Instead of like a traditional wedding and things like that, I know one of the things that's big for us is we just want a party. A chance just to celebrate.

Not just like us getting married, but just like life. Yeah. Maybe karaoke so hard you collapse another lung. I don't know. Sign me up. I'm too soon. Yeah, where's my nailer. Yeah. We haven't made plans. I mean, we're assuming it'll be in California just because we both love it here. And I think it'd be fun to get some of my family and friends out as a vacation. And if family will be traveling, we want to make it like a weekend thing where it won't be a traditional, you know, ceremony and everyone has their sit down plated meal. It's going to be vastly different. So we're like, let's get a ton of food trucks. I'm like very into murder mystery clue. So I kind of want like some sort of like edgy theme, like, that if we could. So that's like all we've really talked about. But we just want to make it fun for everyone. Like, you know, no rules, no, oh, well, this is what it's expected. This is what weddings usually do. It's just like, you just want to make it our own. So you're not going to like throw the bouquet and do a garter toss and all that. Well, I might have Thomas throw my bouquet to all the groomsmen. And quite frankly, I might be wearing garters. I'm not going to be.

There was a line and I just crossed it. No, I would not be wearing guard. Do you know what podcast you're on? I like to not just flirt with the line. Like, I like to, like, do a 5K like you just did over the line. Yeah. He might show up in a dress. Who knows?

And you know what? I might have, like, a dope veil. I don't know. Oh, a dope fail. Like on a backwards hat, like Kylie Jenner. I'll be rocking like a Padres hat. And we'll just have, like, a veil that says go pods across it. Oh, I'm not sure.

I told him all. I was like, since I proposed to you, you get a plan on the wedding. It would be phenomenal. Yeah, but see, the thing is I like that you two are redefining and what a marriage is because it's not about who does what or what the traditions are. It's about who you are as a couple. And if you want to have food trucks and wear a pants suit, like, that's, I could get down with that. I just like that you make it what it is for you to.

Whatever is special to you to, you know it's just about love, about family and friends being together about you two wanting to spend the rest of your life together and I just think it's going to it'll probably be the best wedding that we've ever been I assume we're invited that we've ever been to be there if you and Jason aren't there I'm going to be pissed well you're you're coming to ours too but I never know if people are doing like a huge one or an intimate but I picture you too if you're saying you're having a rager I pitch it oh yeah we're going to have so many friends and family there it's me fun it's me yeah we're not going to like make them sit and wait around and, you know, like,

if the congregation or whatever it's called isn't slightly swaying from having a great time by the time walking out of the aisle. We're not at church, Thomas. Who knows? Let's get weird. Let's have some fun with it. You just have like a church choir, like singing in the background.

Yeah. I do love Sister X-2. Oh, yeah, that is your favorite movie. Sign me up. That's amazing. Okay. This is questions from the Vino's. they are all so happy for the two of you.

Ray Lee wants to know which dog gets to be the ring bearer. I wouldn't trust it on Minnow. Yeah, Minow would probably eat it. It's just not going to be Minnow. She's low to the ground. There's going to be food trucks everywhere. She's going to veer right hard after some sort of crumbles in the ring. Yeah, definitely Leo.

He's much more trustworthy. But Mino, I mean, if we had a flower girl or, well, I really want a glitter girl. So I want her throne. Minow would probably join whoever that is. And then they could, you know, like, have you seen like the borough at what, like the wedding burrow where it's like the donkey with like beers on the side of it or something? I want to do that with Minow, but we could have flower petals and glitter. And whoever's the flower girl or guy could be just pulling it out of her little satchel.

We covered Leo and drinks and he just walks around looking like a sad, precious boy and everyone's just drink. We're going to get so creative with this wedding. I feel like it's, you're going to think. of all of the best little details that are going to just make it so unique to you two, which I love. I love this. Irina said Wedding, Planning, Fun. Pick

two out of four, okay? Okay. Open bar, DJ, photographer, Midnight Buffet. You could only pick two. Open bar. Yeah, done. Yeah. We'll make our own playlist. Or we'll have like a fun band. But yeah, food and drinks is like

top, top on the list. Okay. I like that. Mary wants to know how you finally decided to do the 5K after thinking about it. Some of us need inspiration. Her name is Mary. Yes. Mary, there was no preparation. Thomas sprung it on me about 12 hours before and I just said, okay.

Yeah, there was no. So he was originally supposed to run a marathon. He got a double lung infection. My gosh. We were traveling. And so he obviously couldn't do the marathon, but he still wanted. to take part in it because it's a huge thing in the community down in San Diego. I've been also looking for us like four and a half months.

Yeah, for a long time. He was like, I think I could do a 5K and I was like, you're going to still do it tomorrow. And this is, mind you, 12-ish hours before, he's like, yeah. And I was like, do you want me to, I don't even know, did I ask you or did you ask me? So the best advice to you marry is you just got to just go do it. Just do it. She didn't even think about it, like without hesitation. No way.

And before she knew it, she was. like I got a side cramp well let's go yeah but but I will say Mary you know what got me and maybe if you're like me and a huge foodie when he said we can carve up tonight and go to your favorite Italian restaurant I said sign me up sucker anytime I can eat as much pasta and pizza as I want that is fuel that is fuel for the body but wow good for you congratulations on that because that's you especially if you're not trained for it like it was you know and I know it's only three miles but I don't do cardio I'm not a runner I'm into yoga and lifting and so for me that was a lot no that is a lot I'm telling you I can't even do like five minute a five minute run on a treadmill kills me because and I'm the same as you I like doing like lifting weights and that kind of thing but cardio ain't my thing and so that's impressive and Thomas did you do it did you do the 5K yeah yeah oh yeah it's an inhaler with me so your lungs are better They're getting there.

They still come to suck right now. At one point, he grabbed my hand and I was like, pull me, pull me, please. So he's like pulling me up this hill. But we got it done. I'm a little nervous for the next time I see a snorkel. I don't know if I'm going to have some reaction, but what how did that happen, though? Like, it was just, it was, we wanted this big snorkel cruise where there's just, there's like a 500 people cycling through every given day.

Oh, wow. They wash the snorkels. And I guess mine was just half-hazedly done. Yeah, they kind of just. like dunk them in these big buckets and so I think he just got it during I wasn't I wasn't thinking about it during the time what if you think about it's gross to use a snorkel that yeah people are cycling through and then it's just like yeah yeah you know what um thank you for the warning I'll probably never do one um they have them I mean if you go to why they have them

everywhere but I was like now I know what to get him for his birthday yeah snorkel um she's come down on me washing dishes is wearing my snorkel because I don't know where else I'm going to wear it. Great gift, babe, I love it. I want to go back to doing these. Hey, you know what? You just have to do it and book another trip to Hawaii. I live in San Diego. I feel like...

Are you going to go snorkel out there? Sure. There's a lot of sharks. I'll have my snorkel. You're like, I've been through a long infection. I can handle a shark. Sit back. Sit back shark. Okay, one thing that I get so excited

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Call 562-314-4-6-0-3 for complete details. Okay, on this pod, we do a little game called How Do You Proceed, where I put you in really, really uncomfortable situations, and you have to tell me how you proceed, okay? Okay. Fair. I love the abrupt transition. I like, oh, sit down, Turk.

How do you proceed? Because I also don't want to take too much of everybody's time because I'm like, not, the oilers are losing really bad, so I don't even care about watching the game. But I feel like when, you know, after you get engaged and, well, Becca, you know this because I've been through it too from television. It's like, you feel like you go on these interviews and people just want to ask you all these questions.

And I'm like, I know, like, I really do want to know these things. But I also don't want to like take up your time and be like, hey, I'm doing this for clickbait. Like, I hate that. No, no, we, I told Thomas, I was like, because we obviously did happy hour. Yeah. And they, well, we. insert chainless plug here um but i told him i was like obviously the only other podcast i would do to talk

about this is with katelyn i was like katelyn's and that's it yeah it was like it was like do you do you want to do you want to do katelyn's podcast i'm just like i saw you stretch and falling asleep before i even came on here yeah because i had to wake up that was that was a he had a lot of my mom was just in town and he had a lot of minnesota time but the end of that one i was like yeah absolutely i'll do Caitlin's podcast. It's Caitlin, of course. Let's do it. This is the only other one we're going to do. That's so nice. Thank you. I just love you guys so much. I was so excited to talk to you both. And like, and how do you proceed? Okay, here we go. Okay. Tommy says he wants to get married next month only in the courthouse. Becca, how do you proceed?

I would say, are you sure? And then I would say, okay, let's do it. I would say, okay, let's do it only if we can get our favorite burritos after. Why, after? Just bring them into the courthouse. You know what? I would proceed with the yes. Okay. So cute.

I actually would too, because I'm like, I could really use a green card. I'm Canadian. Okay. One of you gets an amazing gig, but it requires you to both move to New York. How do you proceed? Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Okay.

Oh. Yeah. We just would have to get Minow a muzzle because she was, to eat everything off the ground. And Mizzle's not, well, minnow is not to be trusted around any scraps of food. That would be New York. Yeah. She would get into one.

I feel like she would kind of thrive in New York. I thought you would have to think of a size to a weight of 700 pounds. You'd be the world's largest corgi if she lived in New York. She would absolutely love it. But like, yeah, she would gain a lot of weight real fast. Her corgi butt would be pop it. Oh, she would. She would be the Cardi B of corgi butts.

Yeah. Yes. You're walking down Brooklyn. She's like, this is my neighborhood. Yeah. Totally. I could think for that. I thought you guys were really going to hesitate because I know you love like California so much. But okay, you're doing it. Love New York. Love New York. Okay. Your best friend gets to Liddy City at your wedding and can't make the best man or made of honor speech. How do you proceed? Weekend at Bernie's. We prop them up and we ad libid. It'd be amazing. Yeah. Or I would just I would just have the next person in line and say, you know, get in there. go get him tiger and then I would at least draw a mustache or like a penis on whoever passed out well yeah that's a given my sister actually my sister's the best when she's drunk but if somebody

got too drunk to do a speech at my wedding I'd be like throat chopping bitches oh yeah if they were expected to do a speech and they got that drunk like the repercussions are on them yeah so like when they get propped up as an extra prop in the photo booth and people are like just doing like yeah that's it's fair game at that point that's true okay last one. Thomas brings home another dog without consulting you, Becca. How do you proceed? I would tell him to drop his pants. I'd be so happy. If that happened, we would be making sweet, sweet love very quickly. But only for five minutes, so then I can get puppy cuddle time. Yeah, absolutely. Five minutes is a lot of time.

I'll be two and a half. Give me a good day. Give me a good day. Five minutes, we're feeling good. We're a bad bitch all over again. That just shows your love right there, okay? That just goes to show how attracted you are to each other. I take it as a good thing. It's a compliment, babe. Oh, my gosh. Okay, last game.

This is my game I like to play. It's just the newly engaged game. You guys are probably going to play it 10 million times with anything and anyone you talk to. But describe what you first thought of each other in one word. this this maniacal laughter is not a good version of maniacal laughter. Here's an example of what it didn't look like when I got proposed. Oh my God. Like that laughter right there just made me start reassessing every decision I've made back

to early adolescence. Go on, babe. What is your one word? Okay, if we're going off of like the first interaction we had in paradise, I walked away and I think I said he's a douchebag. Love you. She said one word. No, get out of here.

Dochebag is one word. It's hyphenated. It's hyphenated, yeah. Well, you got to give context. Dush canoe is two words. A douchebag, one word. Should I give context of the Y? I feel like, you can't speak out.

He's a douchebag. It's okay. And I will say it's not, and this is so bad because he was actually being really respectful of his situation. But if anyone watched Paradise, I came down halfway through the night, right before a rose ceremony. he had gone through the ringer with guys on the season and he had just started seeing he was seeing Tammy and he just like didn't want to like he just like didn't want the drama and so he was

trying to be respectful of that newly formed quote unquote relationship and so when I went down there basically the producers are like okay you have like a couple hours talked to all the guys well not even a couple hours they were like you have a short amount of time talked all the guys get to know them and so I was really just going through guys like five minutes out of time to talk to all of them. And when I went to him, he was like, no, sorry, I can't even talk to you. And I was like, well, that's weird. Why can't you even talk to me for five minutes? You know, I'm talking to everyone. Like, this is what they're telling me to do. And he's like, there's been a lot going on. I know you don't understand the drama because

you just got here. But like I kind of just started seeing somebody and I don't want to, you know, jeopardize that or be disrespectful. So, you know, in my mind, and it's a lot. Like everyone's drinking. It was literally, I think, three or four in the morning at that point. and so I walked away just being like, you know, like F this dude. Totally. But in hindsight, it was very respectful. So I didn't actually mean that you're a debag. Is this one of the first, like, talk it out, starts off as a douchebag and then it ends up respectful. Like that took such a wild turn. But for me, it was weird that you couldn't even talk to somebody. That's why I thought. He called me a declined credit card. I did not.

I did not directly, I might have made a reference to something along those lines, but I did say A equals B, you're a declined credit card. He did, basically. I mean, that's a really, I might, I might recycle that, but out. Well, if anything, it was just insufficient funds. Like, the way my bank account set up is like there's a three-day waiting period for transfers. Like, it was coming from another bank. I don't know. But that's got to give you a little peace of mind when you're going to marry this man.

You're like, wow, this is a loyal mother. Yeah. Oh, yeah, totally. So now Lincoln to hindsight, but that was like my first. Totally. Mind you, I also went into Paradise after like talking to you where you were like, stay away from Thomas and Aaron. Yeah, thanks for that, Kail. And the show was starting to air and people had all these issues with him.

So that was the back of my mind. So initially that was my like, oh, I got to go. guard myself and protect myself, that was what I thought. I do apologize for that. I can't believe now knowing you, I can't believe I said that you and Aaron were the two people, because now I love you both, and I think Aaron's hilarious. But it's so funny because I actually get to see you guys and know you less than The Bachelorette. So like, I really do base it off what Katie tells me. And so then I'm like, okay, well, I'm there for her. So that's why I said that. Now I look back Can I say, my mind has been changed.

Yeah. Yeah. From douchebag to respectful. Look at that. From douchebag to badass bitch. We love that. Oh, my God. Look, you got that ring on your finger.

Bam! I love it. Okay, what was one word that you would use to describe Becca when you first met her? Nervous. Oh, my gosh. You were? Yeah. Well, just in just in general.

Yeah. Or anxious. No, nervous. Are you trying to, it's my word. Okay. It's my word. but that it's like it only comes to me because you can tell she was nervous she came down in a position where she's like what the going on i'm nervous because i'm like this woman's beautiful i'm literally in the middle of a hurricane right now

that also has a tornado and it's on fire this is great i'm fine there a dumpster there at the bottom yeah and that's like there's this there's this spark um but i remember we were going to go and talk and i'm like you know i just can't i just can't um because i was conflicted yeah there's there's there could be something and then fast forward there's clearly something there but when first met i would say i would say the word was nervous and it was such a quick interaction but like the next time we actually were able to have a conversation i mean i like everything changed real quickly but yeah and then there's a picture there's actually a picture they didn't show us at all in our season which is like fine by me yeah a picture of our first interaction

that wasn't actually shown but there was a still photo release and you can see it all over my face right there. Even then. And I'm standing there, like, looking at him with my arms crossed. There's a big ass man in the middle of us. And it's so funny now. And meanwhile, looking at her, like she's my double rats, Chipotle burrito just filled with goodness.

Extra thing is double meat, just drooling a little bit. And you know what? Now you have the gold card because you get her forever. You get burrito Becca forever. It has a nice ring to it. It does have a nice ring to it. Um, okay. Where, oh, okay, you have to say this at the first time. So I'll give you five seconds to think about it. And then I'm going to count down at the same time. Uh-huh. Okay. Where did you go on your first date? I'll give you five seconds to think about it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, post-paradise or in the world? Your first date, post-paradise. Follow-up question. After we're out of hiding or still in-free hiding? After you're out of hiding, you're in the world as a couple. Okay. Oh, shit. I know exactly. where it was. Uh-oh. Okay, you have five seconds. Count us down. Okay, ready? Three, two, one. Kara

Hotel. That was our first date. It was in LA. And then we went to the Chelsea Coler concert. Oh, that was awesome. I have that sweatshirt. Yeah. Shout out Chelsea Cutler. She killed it tonight. Yeah. Yeah, that was our first, like, in public restaurant. I think it's Kara or Kara. Yeah, the Carrah Hotel. Yeah. And then, and then, yeah, it was. That was at the Hollywood Bowl? Uh-huh. No. Griff, Griff, Griff,

Park, yeah. Yeah. That was awesome. To answer the question, our first dates, we spent a lot of time at parks when we were in hiding. We would always just go. We'd pick up food.

We'd have picnics in parks and then just hang on. And with hats. And then we just play board games and hang out. Yeah. That's sweet. That's not, honestly, that's like my ideal date night in general,

like even when you're not in hiding. Oh, yeah. Bring the dogs, bring wine. Yeah. Although the games, it's the best. Sounds glorious. Becca, who is Thomas' celebrity crush?

Milakunis from forgetting Sarah Marshall. Very specific. That is the actual answer. It's not just like Milakuch in general. It's Milakunis in forgetting Sarah Marshall. My favorite is when she's asking him, like, are you okay? And he's like, yeah, I just wish I wasn't wearing this shirt. It's amazing.

We were actually just in Hawaii, and we went to Turtle Bay Resort. He did. And we wanted to recreate. create the movie scenes, but we just didn't have enough time. Can I, um, humble brag for a second? And in return, it will actually make you guys feel cool too. Of course. Please. When you word it like that, we'd be stupid. I, I hate name dropping, but I'm going to because this is awesome. So I, my girlfriend, um, is, she works with Lewis Hamilton for, and I was there for F1 in Miami. And so we went to this party.

and there are so many celebrities there, like, real ones, not like me. And I was, like, looking around like, holy shit, that's so-and-so. And all of a sudden, I'm talking to one of our friends. What? No, Michelle Obama was there. Damn. She was in our suite for F-1. She was literally sitting right next to me.

And I would have had the nervy poops for that. I'd have been like, where's the nearest bathroom? I was losing my noodle over that one. So I was standing there. And then all of a sudden, Milakunits and Ashton, her. come up and I'm standing there and then they kind of closed us out of the circle and my girlfriend was like oh that's awkward like clearly they don't want us there and then I was like I feel like she watches the show and they both turned around and Mila comes out to me and she goes I am so excited

to meet you and Ashton was like she literally hit checked when she saw it checked me when she was like do you know who that is she was like we are such big fans and they watch every single season but were they on your were they on your season no they were they on oh i think they were on rachel's i think they were on yes they were rachel susan for me yeah they hosted a date yes yeah they're huge huge bachelor fans and i remember just being like oh my gosh like because i i think my celebrity crush for a woman might be milakunas in that same movie i yes i don't blame you and ashton kutcher um have you seen the movie spread i don't think so uh add it add it to your list.

It's called Spread and it's Ashton Kutcher and Anne Hathaway. No, not Ann Hathaway. Ann Hage. Okay. Is it new? No, it's so old and I'm obsessed with it. It's such a good movie. Okay.

Anyways, that was my humble brag, but they, of course, know who you guys are because they watch every single season. So there you go, Thomas. She might know who you are. I wonder her first word and then final word would be. For you? Or for Ashton?

For me. Now I'm getting nervous poops over here She was like, what is Milakounis? She for sure watched. She was like, why aren't you and Tasha hosting anymore? And I was like, oh, my God, tell the world. Okay, Thomas, who's Becca's Celebrity Crush? She's Celebrity Crush.

Michael Strahan. Yeah, I was going to say, you don't hear me. Oh, yeah. Like, the messed up thing about that is it's like for me, my celebrity crush is Milakunis in a movie from 15 years ago. There's clearly some barriers and obstacles preventing me. She's a bachelor fan. like but but me look i can't go back in the time i can't go like she's a fictitious character

okay okay on a first name basis with michael i have his picture like she's sitting there she's like oh mike i'm like mike the like this is this this scenario was not cut out of the same cloth the first time he ever came back to my mom's house and we were sleeping in my childhood bedroom he woke up and looked over and i have a picture of michael strayhand And I didn't buy myself this picture. I went on Ellen when I was bachelor's and she gave it to my gift, which is like the important part. Like I'm never going to throw that away. But he's like, this is creepy as Michael Strayhan is just here to like brighten my morning to waking me up.

He's like, can we move? He's like, good morning, America. Yeah. I'm like, no, leave it. But imagine like you're at your mother-in-law's house for the first time. and you slowly wake your eye, slowly open your eyes in the morning, greeted by what? Michael Strayhan. It could be worse.

I bet you anything that that was a little bit of a day changer. Like you would have had a bad day, but you saw Michael Strayhan's face when he woke up and you had a great day. All I know is it was a good day and we can't find out otherwise. So the science. Michael Strayant is the nicest human being on the planet too. So that's a good, at least he's not like, you know, some asshole jerk that you. Like who? Who would be an example of that?

Some celebrities are. Do you wish to proceed? Is that the name of the game? Yes. I want to proceed and I would say it like, wait, I don't know who's an asshole celebrity? I'm trying to think of one. Ellen DeGendro's just kidding. She's my hero.

That went full circle because Ellen's the one who gave her the picture of Michael Strick. There you go. There you go. So by default, she's not an asshole. By default, Milakunis loves us and that's all I need to go to the athlete tonight. Oh, I love you, too, Mia. she totally listens to my podcast just kidding uh okay becca if thomas was an animal what animal would he be oh oh a stallion you think so babe thank

no i would say flattered well i don't want to say an owl but like because he has an old soul like wise but like still kind of sassy quirky maybe like uh maybe just minnow I have to figure out how to slightly justice because I look over and then it's just Oh god Does she like that all the time? I feel like she does

Yes all the time My gosh she's so I don't know actually maybe you would be like A woolly mammoth Maybe yeah Or like a oh you know what I will say Maybe like a dolphin because he's so Carefree

free-spirited. And he likes to have sex. We like sex. We were at five earlier. What's going on? We're going the wrong direction here. They're just such social animals, too. And he is like, he's always planning stuff and like always wants to be with friends and

family and just like the more than merrier. So maybe a dolphin. Okay. I like that. And Thomas, what would Becka be? What would Becca be? Because I like to sleep. I feel that.

No, you wouldn't be a sloth. You're not boring enough to be a sloth. Yeah, you want to be. If Becca says if she was any animal, she'd be a sea turtle. But I can't remember that one because she, she's, you, you said you would want to come back as a sea turtle. You love sea turtles. You said this multiple times.

Yeah. And then once I die, you can, or once you die, you can just put the sea turtle in the will and give it to the grandkids. Yeah, because they live a long time. Okay, I won't take, you answer this. I'm in a little. I think Beck would be some type of bonita fish. A bonita fish? I'm good by this. A trophy fish. Because they're beautiful. They're whimsical. They can also fuck you up if they so choose to. You just not be a trophy fish. Therefore,

I'm dead over a mantle. But you're a trophy fish still in the ocean. Okay. I'm an alive one. yeah but a bigger one with more colors and a lot more vibrancy okay you know what i was really questioning you until you described it and i was like that's kind of fair vibrant they'll if they want to but they're like nice and they're whimsical whimsical they travel well in packs but can also do their own thing are you making all of this up i might be everybody wants to fish for you but you're not going to reel just anybody in there's plenty of fishing to see but this one's for me i mean like we could we could keep on going wow you really turn that one around yeah that was good okay last one last one what are each other's worst habits wait actually

let me ask you this becca what would you say Thomas would say is your worst habit being impatient me too yeah okay and what Thomas what would you say that Becca would say about you that I am late slow thing so the opposite yeah so the opposite yeah I literally just do things

on my own timeline and so do I just and clearly Becca she's just like you know what I'm gonna propose this is my timeline I am a Benita fish

have you seen the new Top Gun movie oh it's no is it good it's great I'm not getting rid of this mustache because of Top Gun Navarre

okay you would talk about top gun but I'm just gonna say this it's so good There's a scene in it at the beginning where basically Tom Cruise is, like, in this new airplane. And they're trying to, like, break speed levels. So they call it mock 10 is their end goal, but he's only gotten to like mock eight. And I'm like, I always functioned at a mock 10.

And Thomas is at like a mock two. So I'm like, we got to like up the mock seven, buddy. You got to be at mock eight. Come on. It's a lot easier to stop and smell the roses at mock two. And I like to smell things. But you get more shit done at mock nine. But you get it done.

more efficiently at mock. Oh, shit. That's a good argument. That's a good argument, though, because I, I am more of like a, I'm like a mock five, and Jason's like a 12. But here's a thing, though, and I know you're a very similar in this regard. Our cruising speed is a mock five. However, when push comes to shove, we'll throw that thing to Mach 15 real quick and get to get to where to go. Straight chaos. I drop it chaos. Like, I'm just chill. and like I'm just like, all right, yeah, let's just go with the phone. And then chaos hits, just like done. I think I was going to, like, I think I want to write a book called I Thrive and Chaos because

that is literally my Monday to Friday. If it's hectic, I will do much better work. Like, let's pull on Alicia, my podcast producer right now. Alicia, am I better when I am like under like the most chaotic experience ever? Yeah. Yes. Can confirm. That is, that is me to a key.

Got to get shit done. Yeah, but on the days where I don't have any. anything, I'm like... Oh, we've seen you with the days. You're hanging out with the dogs. You have sweatpants on. You're opening up a bottle of spade and sparrow, and you're just... It's literally me right now.

We are switching this script. I want a confession from you. Okay. Wait, do you guys have one? Because you tell me while I assert from... I know I wrote down a couple. Well, I just talked about my nervy poops for far too long. Tommy, do you have one?

Okay. I pose the first question. Nope, this is you. Don't try to get out of this. Yeah, you have to. You've never done this. Becca likes to talk. She's a big talker.

Okay. News flash. Yeah. Becca often repeat stories a lot. Okay. Same. Yeah. So instead of saying, hey, honey, the love of my life, Snookums, I've heard this story.

I'll just let her keep talking. and I'll just zone her the fuck out. And then those typically, I was just like, Thomas, you're not even listening. You never listen to me. Because I always say something important that you miss. And then later on, I'm like, dude, I told you this. And you're like, no, you didn't.

But she'll say like six minutes of story that I've heard 60 minutes of. And then she'll just sprinkling a little fun fact at the end. And then I can't pick and choose when I'm zoning out. And it's either it's just like, yeah. So your confession is you just zone her out. I think your confession is basically every man that you just have select screen. Once again. That's not even a confession.

When Jason and I were to propose, it is because we are desperate because we do things like that. No, if I tell the same story more than once, Jason's like, this is his actual reaction. I can do it to a tee. Honey. Honey, you have already told. told me that story. Are you okay? Like that's what you would say to me.

Do you need some sort of therapeutic help here? You know what Jason reminds me of is, okay, so the dad and friends, Monica and Ross's dad. You know, like the funny parents, like he is the dad.

Yes. Honey already said this. My mom laughs so hard because he always calls me, honey, but it's not honey, it's honey. I'm a picture like,

Linda, Linda. Yeah, I'm a Linda. wait this is what my notes say you're going to die it says period strings vagina mirror habei a marco polo that's what my notes say and i don't know what any of it means that's a confession no that might be like a murder confession what was the middle one Javier yeah it's like a game of clue Javier with the tampon strings like we i know what the vagina mirrors national treasure or

like topics from Da Vinci Code to figure out what just happened. Let's break it down. No, let's not. Now, Javier is, I know that he is a guy that I used to be obsessed with when I was like 18. Actually, no, I pretended to be obsessed with him when I was 18 because I had a crush on my hip hop teacher who loved him. So I pretended that I loved him too.

Javier, wait, who is this man? Just a random? He's a singer. I don't know. I think he had like one good album. It's amazing. I'll send you his music. It's actually really great now that I look back on it. But that's not that good.

I think the funniest part of that whole confession is just what's in my notes for confessions. Yeah, that's pretty... Javier, that's what's called Thomas's little friend when we were... Little? Well, no, no, no, no, no. No, time out. Like, little friend? I know.

No, that's not here in the story. We're going to put some respect on this one. He's like, you want me to finish me to five minutes. I sat back. I didn't say anything when he said five minutes. I, I, I, let out of us. Five minutes with little heavier. But the second you say little, no, hard stop.

Excuse me, ma'am. We are blessed in this household. That's not even how we got it started eating. The carpet matches the drapes. I'm six. Feeling kick us off. No, I'm like for another. This is where it gets good.

I'm like, tell me. I don't even think, was it, is that what I called it? Yeah. Is that what I called you when we were in hiding? No, you named my penis, Javier. It's Jerome Javier. I, myself, you called me Jerome Javier. Oh, yeah, that's right.

So, I don't know, how did we just get started on this? I don't, I don't know. All this started with the, all this started with a vagina, yeah. When it all said and done, it all comes down to the vagina mirror. And maniacal cackling. Is there anything else in life? Have you looked at your vagina in a mirror before? I have not.

I personally have not. You're missing out, honey. Yeah. Well, you're getting the good angle, though. That's why. That great angle is the best. It's like the first time I saw Mona Lisa. No, I have actually.

I did it when I was little just to see what I'm working with. That's what a lot of people do. If you put it on the ground and stand over it? There's a lot of questions on this. Growing up, like, I had the full body mirror, like, as a closet door. So I was like, I want to just know. So you do like a cartwheel? No, yes. There. You just like push the butt up a little bit close. Then you sit up and, you know. You know, like, when you lay on your back and you like lift your pelvis up and you have your hands under like this and your legs are this straight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just do like a backwards bridge into the mirror. Yeah, something like that. Give it a go some pen tummy. Yeah. Let us know what you see.

next time you go to the grocery store report back so you know you do anything fun and interesting when I was gone oh do I got a story next time we podcast is when you propose to becca and then we'll talk about how you saw your nut sack in the mirror the the nut sack mirror sorry make sure you put it in your notes yeah put it in your notes set an alarm a reminder Caitlin I feel like your note should be in the format of like random words cut out of different newspaper magazines, like ransom notes. That's a picture of your notes. Like Paul's secret, except.

Like a vision board for confessions. Just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that sounds good. Oh my gosh. I love you too so much. I miss you. We're coming out to Nashville. We're going to be here this week.

We're there Wednesday through Friday. This week? Yeah. Yes, I'm here. Let's get together. Oh, my God. Can we please just have you. for a cocktail or meet you out or something like we would love to say congratulations in person jason

told me he's at um he's at hockey right now uh he told me to say congrats to both of you and we would love to either host you or take you for a drink or something yeah oh definitely i want to see you guys so we'll plan it have you had have you been to virgin hotels and had their breakfast sandwiches serious question have i been to virgin hotels they carry spade and sparrows but have you had their breakfast sandwiches wait no i haven't okay no no we had to do version an hotel breakfast sandwiches with the glass of spade and sir or a bottle done absolutely done wait i have heard about these breakfast sandwiches somebody else told me about them oh um clayton and susy i fucking told plighton to go and he didn't even go he didn't even go they're so good to the point

that when we sit because we were there for ben's wedding back in november yes and we got that we ordered way too many every single day and we kept posting about them so when we got back from the wedding they weren't like the kitchen wasn't even open anymore but they had made us and wrapped us up a bunch of breakfast sandwiches and put them outside of our door. And we have been dreaming about these sandwiches since November. Okay, done. And we could go to the speakeasy there afterwards. Absolutely done. Say less.

That's what we're doing because I would love to hug you both and buy you a drink and say congratulations. I'm so happy. Okay, I love you, bye. We'll talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next two.

Thank you. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the podcast one app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. This week's pod is brought to you by Hyundai and the 2022 Tucson and Santa Fe plug-in hybrid EVs. Learn more about the widest range of electrified vehicles at Hyundai, USA.com. I'm Lindsay Chrisley. join me for the Southern Tea. It's a weekly heart to heart from this Southern girl and boy mom who's just trying to navigate life. Nothing is off limits. I talk about it all. Life, career, family, motherhood, faith, and everything in between. It's an ongoing conversation,

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