Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Ben Nemtin: The Power of a Bucket List

Episode Date: September 6, 2022

Kaitlyn’s good friend and incredible motivational speaker, Ben Nemtin, joins KB and co-host Lo VonRumpf to talk all about his experience creating The Buried Life on MTV and why it’s so im...portant to build and hold yourself to a bucket list. Through his experience making his own bucket list, Ben has accomplished some pretty outstanding things: shooting hoops with Obama, asking his dream girl (Megan Fox, ever heard of her?) out on a date, and creating a sketch (literally) with Will Farrell. After Ben and friends discovered the biggest regrets of those on their deathbeds, they decided to address their fears head-on and go after what they wanted… and they made it happen! Ben provides tips on creating your own bucket list, shares how to avoid having big regrets in life, and reveals what’s left on his list. Lo and Kaitlyn decide to become bucket list accountability buddies (Vinos, pair up!) as they share what’s on their own lists, and Ben and KB make a very exciting announcement toward the end of the episode that will leave you feeling inspired. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: EUROPEAN WAX CENTER - Make a reservation today—your first wax is free.  HYUNDAI - Learn more at HyundaiUSA.com.   JENNI KAYNE - Find your forever pieces at jennikayne.com, and get 15% off your first order when you use code VINE at checkout. PROGRESSIVE - Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:39 and get 15% off your first order when you use code Vine at checkout and Progressive. Quote at progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. This week's pod is brought to you by Hyundai and the 22 Tucson and Santa Fe plug-in hybrid EVs. Learn more about the widest range of electrified vehicles at hunday usa.com welcome to off the vine with kaitland bristow get ready to laugh connect and feel empowered with kately and her guests as they sip wine lots of wine and get candid they say vulnerability creates connection so save the highlight reel for instagram because when we're among vines finals, there's no filter. It's time to unwind. Here's your host, Caitlin Bristow.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today's guest is a dear friend of mine and one of the best motivational speakers I've ever heard. You may know him from the hit MTV show, The Buried Life, where him and three of his friends created a list of 100 things that you do before you die. We were at a dinner a few weeks ago and decided to continue our conversation. on the pod because we wanted to include all of you in the special little something we have up our sleeves, but you'll have to listen to find out what it is. Ben, tell us what you had for breakfast this morning. Oh, I had a smoothie.
Starting point is 00:03:14 I put a lot of almond butter in it. Okay. Yeah. Did you do a little banana? I did a half a banana. Half banana. Yeah. almond butter and oat milk.
Starting point is 00:03:25 What's your base? Almond milk is my favorite. Well, I'm excited to talk to you today. Me too. It's been a while. I mean, we saw each other recently, but it's been a while since we officially. We haven't podcasted in years. Years.
Starting point is 00:03:38 But we did have dinner the other night. We did, and good old Nashville. I took you to a very fancy place. Jason was like, what are we doing here? Like, this is like the nicest steakhouse in Nashville. And I'm like, hey, you want to pop here and just like grab a coffee or drink or like a snack? And they're like offering us like. They bring out all this, all the cuts of the meat.
Starting point is 00:03:55 And we're like, actually, we're just having. I'm coming nuts. We're having olives. Yeah, if we could just get a little bowl of olives, that would be great. They're like, you came to the wrong place, ma'am. You guys need to leave. You're not getting a wagyu. Remember, we even got a salad.
Starting point is 00:04:09 He's like, do you want to add a wagu to that for $100? But Jason got, like, this oversized martini, and then I got wine. And then he got another drink after that, didn't he? And then he went and played hockey. Yeah, Jason basically got, he's like, you know what, I'll have one drink. Yeah. Because he's like, it's kind of nice to have one drink. drink before you play hockey.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Which I was saying like a light beer. He had a pint of vodka. He had a pint. Martini glass was so, it was deceiving. It was. It was so wide. Uh-huh. So at the top, it was so wide that it was, it was at least three martinis.
Starting point is 00:04:44 It was. And they called it like the, what was the Hall's? Hall size. Yeah. And it was like a bowl of vodka. It was like the Earl's size. Yeah, Earl's size. Oh, keg size.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Yeah. Do you, wait, oh my gosh, I just had a memory of us at the keg. Oh, it was the Lingwood. Why do I keep doing this and mixing you up with Langwood? But I think you were there, too. It was at the keg in Vancouver, gosh, so long ago. And I don't know if you guys did this to me just to make me do something gross. But you convinced me that after taking a tequila shot, it was, who the fuck was it?
Starting point is 00:05:18 Duncan. It was Duncan. After tequila shot, he says you eat the whole lime, like, with the like, what is that called? Yeah, with the rhyme. Is that a thing or was he just trying to make me look stupid? The latter. Yeah. Because I did it.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Yeah. Well, good for you. Thanks. Thanks. Anyways. I remember when we surprised you at Earls. Oh, yeah. Well, that's a whole thing.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Okay, so on the pod today, we're going to talk about all of this stuff. But obviously, I'm going to ask you questions that I already know the answer to. And we might have talked about it in the last podcast. But I'm hoping that we have some new listeners here and that it's still, the same story is still funny that you guys cut me out of your lives forever. You cut me out of your TV show. Okay. So let's start at the beginning.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Okay. The buried life. Like, were you, did you always want to make that a TV show? Or did you start doing things and then be like, oh, this should be a TV show? I don't know the answer to this. We started it to make a documentary. But kind of a short documentary, we just wanted to make like a little movie and show our friends. Like, I saw Johnny post a video on Facebook, early Facebook.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Yeah. It was 2006 of him and his friends. at Frosch Week at McGill. And they were partying and it looked like so much fun. I was like, I want to do, like, it was like an inspirational party video. It made you want to go out and party with your friends. And I was like, I want to make a movie or something like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:38 And so I called him up and he was like, you know, I just talked to my friend Dave about something like this. We went on a trip to Cuba. We were talking about making something. I was like, great. You call Dave. I'll call Duncan. And we didn't really, I'd never hung out with any of them individually. It was just.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Wait, really? Yeah. We just kind of knew each other from Victoria, you know, small town. Dave was two years younger than me. He was just the crazy guy, always break dancing. Yeah. And Johnny and Duncan were at private school. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:02 And so I knew them through like, you know, sports and parties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so we started talking about making this film. We didn't know what it was going to be about. And then Johnny got to sign this poem in English class called The Buried Life. Old English poem. He had to read it because it was his homework. And this poem struck a chord and he sent four lines to us.
Starting point is 00:07:22 And he was like, guys, this poem is basically articulating the same thing. feeling that we're feeling right now, which is that we have all these things that we want to do, because we kept talking about, like, we always want to do all these things, like make movies or go on road trips or, you know, start a clothing line, but we don't even ever try. We've never tried to do any of them. Yeah, you're the thought. You just don't execute. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:07:43 And so we're like, this poem talked about the exact same feeling. You have all these things you want to do. You haven't done them because they're buried. You get inspired in different moments, but the day-to-day buries it. It's like, okay, this dude was talking about this in 18. 52. Wow. 150 years ago, over 150 years ago, and we're feeling like this, so we're not the first
Starting point is 00:08:02 people to feel like this. Let's call this film we're making the buried life, even though we don't know what's about yet. Yeah. So next step, we're like, okay, then what are our buried dreams? Yeah. And that's, the bucket list came out of answering this question that we started to ask everybody, which is what do you want to do before you die?
Starting point is 00:08:17 Because thinking about death actually made us think about life. Because we're like, our days are numbered. What do we actually want to do by actually confronting our mortality? put things in perspective. And so we wrote this list. But when we wrote it, I remember someone was like, okay, when we write the list,
Starting point is 00:08:34 we have to pretend we're millionaires. We have the $10 million in our bank. We also have to pretend that we can do anything. So anything's possible. It's just like, we'll never do any of these things, but it'll be fun to write down
Starting point is 00:08:47 everything we've always wanted to do. And I'm like, and let's just go to a road trip and try and do them. Yeah. We'll take two weeks. We'll like save up money throughout the summer, work a job, we, like, through parties as funder. We pretended we had a production company, started calling companies.
Starting point is 00:09:02 We're like, we're making this film. We'd like you to be involved. I run a big production company. Would at that time, could they, like, not Google it? No, this was just sort of, I mean, it was 2006. So they could, but, you know, it was at that time, you were calling smaller companies. And we got, like, Happy Planet juices. They paid for our gas.
Starting point is 00:09:23 You're kidding. Yeah. That's like the Odd Walla or the Naked Juice. of Canada. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they started in Vancouver. And then we had Red Bull gave us some Red Bulls. This rebar, this granola bar company gave us granola bar.
Starting point is 00:09:35 So we lived off Red Bulls, granola bars, and food juices. Bored an old RV. We're going to hit the road. We're going to go after this bucket list. But we're also going to help other people achieve their bucket list items. So we'll ask people, what do you want to do before you die and we'll try and help them. While crossing your own things off the list.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Yeah. Yeah. But we're like, no one's going to care about our list. So let's make the film about helping other people. But we're still going to do our stuff because it'll be fun. Yeah, jokes on you. Everybody cared. You guys had the best bucket list. Well, that's the thing.
Starting point is 00:10:02 And we realized we saw other people starting to get inspired to do their list because we were doing ours. And you started to realize, holy shit. Like, when you do the things that you love, you inspire other people to do the things that they love. Yeah. And that creates a ripple effect. So it's actually not selfish to do these things. You're actually inspiring other people. Totally.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Because people get inspired by you doing the things you're doing. You were inspired by other people because they did something cool. I got inspired by a friend that started a clothing line out of high school, Aaron Ojla. And so, like, you start to get inspired by people pushing themselves and you believe that you can do things because you see them do things. And so all these people around the world started to go after their bucket list. And then they started and then they wanted us to cross everything off our list. So then we get all these emails coming in when we're on this road and this like gold. crappy RV. I'm like, Jesus Christ, there's all these people wanting us to cross everything off
Starting point is 00:11:01 our list, inviting us to wedding so we can make a toast to a stranger's wedding, inviting us to go ride a bowl, go up in a hot air balloon. And after that two-week road trip, we're like, guys, we got to keep doing this. Yeah, this is a thing. Yeah. It's working. But make a TV show was just one item on the list. So you made a TV show about crossing off all of the things on your list, genius yeah that's we i was trying to remember a few other things that you guys did did you not ask megan fox out on a date or we tried to but i failed what how did you fail tell me why what happened oh this is a is it still a bit of a raw wound oh i'm sorry yeah no it's fine it's fine is it i see tears welling up in your eyes no it's fine there is oh there he is
Starting point is 00:11:48 come on in low he's just in time for the story too rat out there. Oh my gosh. Wait, this is... You look great. Does it he? Thank you. This is Ben. Hey, Kate. Come on in, sit down. We were just about to hear a story about how Ben failed at asking Megan Fox out. Oh, my God. Pretty good timing. Perfect timing. Hi. Hi. I love you. Okay. Oh, you smell nice. Thank you. What is that? I'm showered for you and Ben. Oh, wow. Thank you. It's another 13 from Le Labo. That's nice. Oh. Yeah. familiar with La Labo fragrances.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Yeah. I wear Sontal usually, but it's become like the scent of Los Angeles. Yeah. Is that a thing. Really? Oh, God. Everybody wears it. It's nice, though.
Starting point is 00:12:33 It's nice. Like a sandal woody. It smells like the Catholic Church, but a little sweeter. But now you can get a candle that just sort of, so you can sort of like the candle. And then. So I got rid of that one. And another 13 is lighter. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:44 It's really nice. Thank you. It's really nice. So anyways, Ben. Write that down. Yeah. Or do it. Or you can just listen to this podcast back.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Okay. So we were talking about how he had the show of The Buried Life, which, of course, you know, because we had drinks with Lingwood and talked all about everything. So things that he was crossing off, one was, what was the thing? Like, what was it actually specifically Megan Fox? No. It was asked out the girl your dreams. And Megan Fox was the girl of your dreams at the time. Megan Fox that was the top.
Starting point is 00:13:11 This was peak transformers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So you just, you know, came out in the Maxa magazine. Yeah. Remember Maxa? Oh, I do. Is it still around?
Starting point is 00:13:19 Yeah. I think. Yeah. Freaking Megan Fox. Yeah, I don't subscribe. Smoke show. I don't subscribe. But so it was, yeah, the idea was who's like the dream girl get in front of her, ask her out.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Yeah. So she was, we had no way to get in front of her other than unknowing that she was going to be at the premiere. Yeah. Of the second Transformers film. Yeah. So we went to the premiere, which was in Westwood. And Lingwood has a red velvet sports jacket. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:50 So I put on the sports jacket. And I got a microphone and I put the cord of the microphone in my pocket and I had a camera guy with me. Yeah. And so the idea was I'm going to pretend to be a reporter. And I'm going to get into the red carpet and, you know how there's the press line. I'm going to just find one slot that someone doesn't show up with and I'll just pretend that that's my, I'm a reporter. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:14:12 And ballsy. Yeah. You should hear a lot of their stories. Did you have immediate credential? No, but we snuck in and got one. Great. Yeah. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:14:19 I'm just so. So, so the truth. is if you want to get in anywhere this is you take anything away from this podcast if you walk into an event and all black with a clip forward and a walkie talk with an earpiece yeah you can pretty much get in the back door of any event and that's where you kind of suss it out maybe get a pass and come back so we got a press pass I go on the carpet and there was a slot so I'm standing I forget who didn't show up but it was like access Hollywood or something really like there and we was just waiting for the reporter show up and be like who the hell are you yeah so
Starting point is 00:14:51 You know, it's building. The big stars come at the end. So I'm just getting, I'm so nervous. It's not even, like this is beyond. I'm, shit in your pants. I'm deaf a couple times. Yeah. So then Megan Fox comes down the carpet.
Starting point is 00:15:05 I was freaking out closer. She's going. And now it's just building down the line, down the line. Is she doing interviews? Yeah. Just little interviews all the way down the red carpet. And she gets in front of me. And I'm like, hey, my name is Ben.
Starting point is 00:15:19 And she goes, oh, my first boyfriend's name was Ben. Oh. And that shook me. It threw me a little bit. Shut up. You just didn't even ask? No. Well, so this is what happened.
Starting point is 00:15:29 So then I was liking on the story. I start to talk with her. And basically, I choked and I didn't ask her out quick enough because her public just pulled her away. I started to realize that this is not a real interview and pulled her away. And I completely choked. Oh. Didn't ask her out. Redemption story.
Starting point is 00:15:49 Okay. Next year, season two, Duncan goes to ask out his girl, his dreams at the time was Taylor Swift. Interesting choice. Very interesting choice. I'm not at it. Swifty. We go to the CMT Awards. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:07 They're, I think, in Nashville. But now that's also owned by Viacom. So the word kind of gets out that Viacom's owned on MTV and CMT. They don't want us coming to the awards. Okay. So we're like, we're still going to go, but we're going to go in disguise. Yeah. So we create this fake country music star named Boone McCaw, which is Duncan.
Starting point is 00:16:28 We got prosthetics. He's got all white. Dave is his guitar player, Patagonia, with a handlebar mustache and fringes on his purple cowboy jacket. We get a white horse and chariot. Oh, my God. I'm the manager. So, again, all blackboard, we tweet out and get like a bunch of buried life fans to come meet us at the corner behind the awards we give out i love boon t-shirts we make fake uh country music magazine
Starting point is 00:16:55 covers with duncan's face on it like meet us everyone gather on the corner we see the white chariot come up for ham just go nuts yeah so white jerry comes up dave and duncan are in there boon macaa and patagonia driving up cops just start to just clear the barrican there's a horse running towards right for the CMT awards yeah bands are going wild all the way up to the front of the red carpet, start to go through the red carpet. One producer notices us and recognizes us. She's like, buried life. Get the F out.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Stop. Kicks us out. Okay. Wait, did Boone even step on the carpet? Boone got like maybe one foot on the carpet. Oh, shit. Damn. So anyways, uh, audible.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Yeah. I go in, I, I were able to get two passes pretending I'm from Kid Rock's crew. I come back, give it to Duncan. He gets a null block, goes in the back. walks up to Taylor Swift who's sitting in the audience has to go by Rita McNeil Carrie Underworth
Starting point is 00:17:53 Gets down and it's like Hey it took me a lot to get here I just want to give you this note Gives her a note The note asks her out With his phone number After he gets a text
Starting point is 00:18:04 And he ends up going out Shut the hell up Two dates Wait oh my God What? I did not know this Yeah We went
Starting point is 00:18:12 That's awesome The first day we went to Mel's On sunset It was it was Taylor Swift and Emma Stone and Justin Timberlake. And we had a little predate, I don't know, whatever it was. What?
Starting point is 00:18:26 Yeah, but they hung on up a couple of times. It worked. Mine did not. Oh my gosh. Yeah, yours not so much, but. What a great redemption story. That is a great redemption story. So then what happened?
Starting point is 00:18:36 They just stopped talking? I don't know. She wrote a song about it and that was it. And that is how teardrops on my guitar came to be a song. Vegas. Bangers. Wow. That's so crazy.
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Starting point is 00:21:09 So, okay, I mean, I could probably podcast for like, five hours on stuff you have done because it's incredible. But are you still crossing things off your bucket list? Yeah. So the way that I've, what I've realized is that a bucket list is just a reminder of all the things that are important to you in your life. And if you don't have something that reminds you,
Starting point is 00:21:31 you never do them. Life gets in the way. So by creating an accountability, i.e. writing your list, sharing it, it drives you towards that thing. And so I,
Starting point is 00:21:42 for me, it's like it's a it's it's basically a reflection of who i truly am so so i instead of just writing adventure and travel list items you know i think about a bucket list as reflecting all 10 categories of your life so like physical health goals mental health goals relationship goals intellectual creative professional financial how do you want to give back and so as you grow your list grows so we started with the hundred things which were things i don't want to do anymore streak afield yeah you know get away didn't you do that you you did you went streaking we went streaking yeah we didn't get away we did go to jail though which was another thing on the list go to
Starting point is 00:22:20 jail yeah so i guess it was a success yeah it was there you go and then so but that original 100 now i've added a bunch more because it's just i have different goals well yeah because i was going to say your bucket list can also change 100% um as you get older and like have different like values in life like my bucket list before would never be taking my dad golfing to Scotland but like it is now that's all my bucket list now I want to do that for him I kind of jumped but so you did this TV show you started crossing all these things off your list you did some of the craziest things I need you to tell the story about President Obama so oh my god what did you do to him what did you do to Obama I tried to ask him I did you imagine
Starting point is 00:23:10 I'm iconic. I hooked up with the president. Holy shit. I'd put that on a hat. I'd put that on a hat. Same. Obama? Something about him.
Starting point is 00:23:20 He is. Swag. Cool confidence. Yeah. Cool confidence. Remember that photo of him coming out of the ocean? No. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Oh, yeah. In Hawaii. I do. Yes. He had his little black trunks on glistening. Yeah. I'm into it. I'm into young Obama coming into the office.
Starting point is 00:23:38 And then he aged. I mean, as every person. president does it's the uh yeah i mean the age like 20 years yeah um but i was i was into silver fox obama as well yeah yeah i wasn't i was into both yeah so how wait how many dates did you guys go on i got more than true than duncan and no yeah uh so the the the list i almost play basketball with obama and uh it's a very long story we're going to tell very quickly that So no connections to the White House, we're just like, I guess we got to drive to D.C. and start talking with people. So we're like asking people on the street if they know anyone at the White House and failing miserably.
Starting point is 00:24:18 We start sending emails to everyone that has a public list email at their, you know, politicians. Yeah. We're in D.C. We're trying to play basketball with Obama to prove that anyone can do anything. Yeah. Yeah. I'll get a few emails back. We meet with some lower level officials.
Starting point is 00:24:35 We find we can convince them sometimes. to convince their boss to meet with us. So we're just leapfrogging up the ladder. We get all the way up to the Secretary of Transportation. He's like, who the hell are you guys? Like, what is this meeting? And we're just like, just hear us out. And we drove an old transit bus.
Starting point is 00:24:50 So like, he's the Secretary of Transportation. So he's like kind of likes us. Penelope? Yeah. Penelope? That was the bus name. Yeah. I thought you knew the secretary.
Starting point is 00:24:58 I was like, wow. She gets around. Penelope is the name of the bus. Damn, Caitlin. And so anyway, so he puts in a, a call to the White House and then we get an official no from the White House sorry guys nice try but it's not going to happen but then we learned there's these secret basketball games that are set up by the personal aid of the president and so we get a hold of his contact
Starting point is 00:25:21 we started sending him emails being like yo you and the president versus us tonight at the line of CA 730 be there bro that's so good show up at 730 like no president yeah next day we're like sorry we missed you yesterday man but we'll be there tomorrow same time be there so we do this for a week and we're just like trying everything we're picking outside the white house with signs we go to the to the gym where we heard the personally the president worked out 5 a.m. every morning don't see them and so finally we're just like I guess we're accepting defeat we leave and then I got a block call and all I hear is what says I hear about you want to play basketball against the president and I and it's the person lady the president calling me
Starting point is 00:26:03 And I'm like, oh, my God. Like I said, yes, sir. I explained to him why. He's like, you know, I really like this. I think I can make this happen. Give me two weeks. I've got to run up by the press team at the White House. They sign off.
Starting point is 00:26:13 We can do this. Two weeks later, I get a phone call. I'm like, hello? He's like, guys, it's not going to happen. Oh, shit. And we're like, oh. And he's like, guys, I'm sorry. Like, there's nothing I can do.
Starting point is 00:26:24 He's out of my hands. I don't know if you're in D.C., let me know. I'll give you a tour of the White House. Cut two, three months later. We're back in D.C. prom rental store, we're wearing the same suit. It's just different tie. And the personal leg shows us around. He's like, here's my office. We're like, we're in the West Wing. This is the oval, right next to the Oval Office. He's showing us around the West Wing, just casually
Starting point is 00:26:46 walking us around, shows us the basketball courts. And we're shooting around. And then I just hear Johnny be like, oh my God, it's the president. And Obama strolled on the court and surprised us. We didn't even think he was in town. No. Oh, that's so cool. Cool. Is that cool? Wow. Okay. So he was in on it.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Obama was ready to play. Yeah. Obama was down. Would you guys play the game? Horse? I don't know. How freaking cool is that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:19 It was wild. It was wild. So what did he, did you guys like actually just shoot a couple shots in chat or like, what did he say? He was like, I heard you guys are in town. Thought the least I could do is shoot a basket with you. And he's like, I heard you help folks. He's like, I like that. And so Obama.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Yeah. very Obama and then the craziest thing with Obama is like classic Obama yeah he's caring caring about what you're doing for others you remember that from your dates with him yeah yeah he was like that back then too yeah doesn't change all like that doesn't yeah he was he was he was the only way I could describe him was sort of like this is a bad way of describing him but I'm gonna do it you know in high school when you have a like you go over hang out with your friends but their dad is actually like really cool yeah and you end up just like hanging out with yeah The dad.
Starting point is 00:28:04 He's like the cool dad. I get that. They end up wanting to chill with the hot dad. The hot, cool dad. Yeah. And so we, you immediately forget he's the president. So we're trash talking each other, trying to hit shots. The other president isn't hitting.
Starting point is 00:28:16 And we're like, he's trying to work. Kind of push him and like Secret Service just tackles you down. Yeah, I got shot in the new. That's so crazy. They must have done extensive background checks on you, though. Like that two weeks, I would think because. Yeah, maybe that's why they were taking their. precious time and saying, no, they're just doing background checks.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Like, you guys got arrested. They were watching your phone. Like, they were watching you through your phone like the government does. Absolutely. And so, and then they're like, ah, he's a pretty decent guy. He's a good guy. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:48 Like frozen yogurt. Yeah. It has a nice calm demeanor. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the crazy thing about that was, that was when we wrote, I remember Johnny called me when, you know, it's just right when Obama got elected 2008. And he was like, hey, let's put, play basketball with,
Starting point is 00:29:03 Obama on the list. And my initial reaction, I laughed. Yeah. I was like, that is the most impossible. We're living on an island in Canada. This is way pre the show. Yeah, yeah. This is like, oh, this is pre-show. Pre-show. Pre-show, 2008. Well, that's even more impressive. Yeah, that's even, that is more impressive. We're a couple Canucks on an island. And I was like, oh, man. I'm like, dude, that I literally said, I was like, that's the most impossible thing. And he's like, yeah, but. But that's what you got to put on your list yeah and he goes how amazing would it be and i was like i was like yeah i can't i can't agree that so he wrote it down and we're like never going to happen and then you know three
Starting point is 00:29:42 years later yeah four years later it happens and so then i had no choice but to believe that anything was possible because i literally thought that wasn't possible and i just seen it happen and that's the crazy thing is like sometimes you don't know what's possible until you're actually doing it so you can't imagine yourself being there and so you just have to move towards the thing until you're proved to yourself that it's possible like you would have never imagined that you'd be doing what you're doing right now you wouldn't even have the capacity to imagine and understand what that was yeah you just had to just keep moving forward and then positions be yeah exactly like move through the fear and take the first step without knowing
Starting point is 00:30:24 what the second step is and um all of a sudden you realize holy crap like we i'm here yeah and i think everybody has the capacity to prove to themselves that those things are possible just by moving towards and having the courage to go after them and then all of a sudden you realize that you're there yeah and so it's that moment changed my perspective because moving forward i was like okay these things that i want to do if i'm ever faced with a challenge i don't think can i do it it's i think like do i want to do it yeah and that's why the list is so important because the problem is, is that most people are going after things that they don't actually want. The biggest regret that people have on their deathbed is not living for them.
Starting point is 00:31:08 So this is the biggest problem we have on earth right now because 76% of people reach their deathbed and they don't regret the things they did. They regret the things they didn't do. And their single biggest regret is, I wish I would live for me. So I live for other people or I lived a life that was expected of me. And sometimes you don't even realize that you're living that life that's expected of you because it's the it's the norm so that we we just stumbled into this idea of a bucket list without even understanding the power of it you know for me I was super depressed when I was in high school
Starting point is 00:31:40 my first year university I dropped out of school because I was depressed I was living the dream I was living the high school dream I was on the national rugby team I had an academic scholarship all this stuff but I was living the high school dream I wasn't living my dream yeah and then I started hanging out with different types of people that I realized energized me to be who I truly was. And that's what happens when you surround yourself with people that inspire you. They inspire you to do things that you want to do. And it was liberating to actually write down what I wanted.
Starting point is 00:32:09 And that's what the list was. And then, but it's really hard. It's really hard to say what you want. And it's really hard to move through the fear of what other people think by actually doing it. So that's how we never told anyone that we were doing the road trip. Yeah. We were just like, we're just going to fucking do this for us. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:23 And we're like, our parents didn't know what we were doing. Our friends didn't know. And we just took that leap of faith. And not only were we like telling people, we went out of our way to then put ourselves out there by like driving up to radio stations, you know, and like doing these things that we were like we were afraid of doing. But when you do that, we realize,
Starting point is 00:32:42 well, people really stepped up to help us. Yeah. And so this idea is like, it bring, this whole thing like brings you back to who you are. And I think most people aren't living for them. Yeah. They feel responsible for living for others, which is like you have to take care of the people that you love. It doesn't mean you have to lose yourself because you can't take care of them if you don't take care of yourself and you don't live for who you truly are.
Starting point is 00:33:08 And so, you know, through this process, I just by coincidence of just starting this whole thing when I was young, dumb and broke, realized the power of it and then how to do it. And I realized that like, holy shit, this is a huge problem. Like research out of Cornell by Tom Gilvich, his psychologist, found that this is the biggest people. He interviewed people on their deathbed. He's like, this is the number one regret. Brony Ware, five top regrets of the dying. Number one regret of the dying.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Wish I would have had the courage to live for me. So, and then I look back at the poem that inspired the buried life. Yeah. Written in 1852, talks about the same thing. So not only is this the biggest thing that we're facing challenge we're facing right now, it's been the biggest challenge we've been facing for hundreds of years. And it's only going to get worse with technology, with you know not being connected with people so this is important like we need to stop and think about
Starting point is 00:34:02 what's important to us identify what those are write them down start to share them with the people that care about us so they can keep us accountable and you know you start to look at there's three reasons why we don't go after these personal passions there's no deadlines and we got deadlines for everything else we wait to feel inspired but the inspiration doesn't hit we got to create our own inspiration through action and then the fear of what other people think or fear of failure so those are the barriers so you got to write your list to make it real build accountability you got to share your list with i was just going to ask what do you think is the like why is writing it down so powerful one because it forces you to actually slow down and think about what's
Starting point is 00:34:44 important to you and so in a world where 75% 76% of people are living for other people that's important two, you take something that doesn't exist, something's intangible, a thought, and you make it real. So that means that you're literally breathing life into your dreams and creating this foundation for them to grow. So now you have a reminder that they exist. So it actually builds accountability. It seems super small, but when you write your goal down, you're 40% more likely to achieve it. Because now it actually exists and you've made something tangible. And so this is a process that starts the momentum.
Starting point is 00:35:24 And most people, it's that first step that's the hardest. Because even just identifying what's important to you. Writing it down. Yeah. And so and then you, you know, you write it down. And then the next step is to start to take action. So you break that thing down into the easiest steps. What's the first thing that's super easy that you can do?
Starting point is 00:35:48 Maybe call a friend asked for help or share it or, you know, make a phone call, do some research, book the flight, whatever. And then you start to build accountability around it. So you can have an accountability, buddy, you know, if you're like, hey, I want you to check in on me or I'm going to send you updates on this thing or you train with a partner, something like that. Do you want to be my accountability, buddy? Yes, please. Yeah. And then you start to. Cute.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Don't be my bucket list, buddy. Yeah, you're on a bucket list. I sure do. I like this. Yeah, that's nice. And then you start to, you start to share with other people and you start to set deadlines, make a reward for yourself if you do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:31 Identify why it's important, all those things. Yeah. I mean, we talked about this before we started actually recording, but like with manifesting, I found that like, and it was actually Penny, one of our Rachel friends, you know Penny? Yeah. Who made me write everything down when I was 23. think. I think I was 23. She made me write down everything that I wanted. And it was the same kind of thing. Like, no idea is too crazy, too big, like write it down, put it out there. And that's
Starting point is 00:36:57 when I started believing in manifesting because I wrote everything down. And everything on that list from when I was 23 literally happened for me. And I looked back on that. And I was like, I looked at that every day. It was in my, I had a 400 square foot apartment with no closet. So I had to build these like mirrors that opened so I could put clothes in the shelves and I put those notes everywhere on my mirrors. So I was looking at them every single day. And now I look back and I'm like, holy shit. And I write things down all the time now. And that's why this bucket list journal is so genius. And it forced me the other day because I have one. And I sat down with a glass of wine outside, full moon. And I wrote down so many things. And it made me realize that everything I'm
Starting point is 00:37:41 craving in my life right now is just like better connection with friends and family. Like, if I would have wrote that bucket list when I was 23, I did. And it was all things of, like, material. Yeah. And like, now I'm like, oh, my gosh, it's making me realize how important my family is to me at this, like, where I am in life. And now I miss them and I want to do things for them. And it's so cool. And can people get this journal, by the way, right now?
Starting point is 00:38:05 Is it out there? Yeah, yeah. I want to order it out now. Yeah, you should. Yeah, you're going to love it. It's honestly amazing. It made me so happy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Where can people get it. You can get it, write your list. or just go to search the bucket list journal on Amazon. But, so, you know, the journal is because I think that it's sometimes overwhelming to think about looking at a piece of paper. Yeah. And then, like, what are all my passions? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Like, what's like everything that I want to do go? Yeah. So for me and thinking about how bucket list usually is just like, I'd like to reframe what a bucket list is for people. Oh, it's like a workbook. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I didn't expect that.
Starting point is 00:38:45 I thought it was just like a beautiful journal I was going to get to with like nothing but Oh yeah well now it's oh this is Yeah so you you write your list in those 10 categories in the beginning as you did And relationships is one of the categories yeah Which by the way one of the top five regrets of the dying through Ronnie where like she says she's a hospice worker So she's talking to people on their death foot all the time Top five regret of the dying wish I would have stayed in contact with friends
Starting point is 00:39:12 Wow or really? Family members, right? So that doesn't cost any money. Yeah. Unless you're with AT&T. All right. So when it comes to my closet these days, I am really all about curating the capsule wardrobe and just trying to focus on pieces that I know are high quality, that I can just mix and match
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Starting point is 00:41:57 Yeah, so the top five regrets. Because the top five regrets before you die. People on their deathbed, this is what they say. Here we go. You ready for this? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay. Number one, I wish I'd have the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Talked about that. Number two, I wish I wouldn't have worked so hard. I wish I'd have the courage to express my feelings. Number four, I wish I had stayed in touch with friends. And number five, I wish I had let myself be happier. Oh, that one makes me sad. Well, that's what I think the list is, is like, defining all the things that are going to bring you joy. Yeah, joy.
Starting point is 00:42:40 That's true. Okay. So of the hundred things that you originally had on your, your bucket list. How many things did you cross off? 96. Damn. And like they were crazy ones, like crazy ones.
Starting point is 00:42:54 And what is left on that that you have not done? We got cover of Rolling Stone. Okay. I think when they do a pixelated cover with thousands of photos. Yeah. You'll sneak in there. Sneak in there. Oh, good.
Starting point is 00:43:09 Yes. Okay, a loophole. I like it. Go to space. Oh, yes. Go to space is close. Yeah. you want to personally go to space yeah i think so well it's on the bucket list i kind of have to you is it okay to
Starting point is 00:43:21 like take things off the list yes how set and stone is this well this just the thought i'm just you have such great energy and just the thought of you having to go to space it's really dangerous i'm gonna be really worried i know katelyn's going to lose some sleep yeah i'll worry i don't know is that it's a lot really not to mention the training i mean good luck i wish you the best it's just a lot yeah that is it's a lot so here's one thing you're close to doing it At the end of 24, so I think, okay, there's a lot of different companies that are going, doing commercial space travel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Yeah. And it's like, it's happening very quickly. I actually spoke on a pen. I've moderated. I had no business being on a panel, but I've moderated a panel itself by on the democratization of commercial space travel. And so there's this company worldview that's making pods that fit eight people. They go up with a big, like, it's like a big weather balloon, but basically it's a healing
Starting point is 00:44:12 balloon that brings you up. So they send satellites up this way. Okay. They've been doing this for years, but basically it's huge. Three football fields and length. Yeah. And they bring up the edge of space. You hang out there. You're not weightless. So it's edge of space. Okay. It's chill. You go up. You don't have to train. Have a glass of wine. Come down. Yeah. I'm okay with that. I can get down with that. I might join you. Yeah. There you go. Caitlin the whole time. She's like, no, as soon as I mentioned the glass wine. Oh. You know what? I can do that. I'm on board. Yeah. I'm on board. Yeah. It would be a great advertising for Spade and Sparrow's. And so that's the one that I think I'd like to do.
Starting point is 00:44:50 The other ones... That's happening right now. They haven't done a test flight. They're just starting to get... They're ramping up. I mean, they're getting ready by... They'll be putting people up at the end of 20, 24 or something like that. But the other ones, like...
Starting point is 00:45:05 I don't want to be a guinea pig, though. Like, I don't want them to work out the kinks with me. A little turbulent. Yeah. See what happens. Yeah. anyways yeah so that and the other one is I think uh oh make a film I still want to make the the buried life documentary oh yeah you have to do that yeah we still like I mean we filmed it
Starting point is 00:45:22 from the beginning and so that's another great one and I think the other one is like tell a judge you want the truth you can't handle the truth I can't believe you have not done that one it's gotta be real oh that's true but you've done like you did a sketch with will feral didn't you yeah that was another loop oh wow that how did that happen I love will feral by he's my hero he's my everything yeah yeah you like him will feral more than adam sandler yes 100% same yeah yeah yeah i guess this is why this is working yeah get it now i get uh so this is a real loophole because we were at a seahawks game and uh we and will feral was in the suite that we were in johnny and i and we're like okay shit this is like our only shot to do this how we're
Starting point is 00:46:06 going to do this and then um we we went up to And we're like, hey, our dream is to do a sketch, do a sketch with Will Ferrell's on the list. And we had a piece of paper and we're under a, can we draw a sketch with you? So we ended up drawing a sketch with Will Ferrell and taking a photo with it. So technically, it's off the list. That works. But it wasn't the loophole. It wasn't the one that we had imagined.
Starting point is 00:46:31 Oh, I like pictured you guys like rolling around on the floor like cats. Like, did you ever see his audition video for SNL? No. Get off the shed. Get off the shed. What? Oh, yeah, you have to go on YouTube and watch that right now. Everybody.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Stop what you're doing. Stop the podcast. Never come back. Please come back. Wait, no, because they're going to go and see how funny it is and they're going to come back here and be like, Kalan's actually not that funny. Oh, no, it can't do the cat thing. That's funny.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Yeah. See, I'm going to do the cat. I'm going to make my own Will Ferrell video. Also, you snuck into, they snuck into the Playboy Mansion. Oh, wow. In like, umpa, lumpa. When he was alive, I assume. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:11 Okay. Yeah. Prime time when Playboy, oh, this, I don't think it's even happening anymore. Playboy Mansion is a thing
Starting point is 00:47:16 of the past now. Have you seen the documentary? It's so disturbing. I have. Yeah. It's disgusting. So when you went into this ring, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:25 This is a long time ago. I just wanted to practice this story. Yeah. Oh yeah. Also, I'm going to put this on Lingwood. This is Langwood's dream. But he did love Hugh
Starting point is 00:47:33 way back in the day. So yeah, the idea of Hugh. Yeah. So, yeah. Wait, weren't you guys in like umpa lumpa suits? I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Yeah, so it was, we had two ideas to sneak into the mansion. One, because it was a Willy Wonka themed, was to dress up, this was one of my ideas, Johnny Dave's, dress up like umpalumpas, make it a prop cake that looked like it belonged at the party. So Willie Wonka themed, hide them in the bottom of the cake, deliver the cake to the mansion at 5 p.m. to the back door with a fake like delivery slip and driver and Mack truck and just leave them. And then like, then they're in the party. So once the party starts, they just jump out of the cake, they're out. They're out.
Starting point is 00:48:11 And I was like, guys, this is not going to work. This is a terrible idea. So that I was, I was like, I want nothing to do with this idea. Yeah. You guys can do this. I'll help you to decorate the cake, but that's it. I'll film it. And then when I was traveling in Europe before, this is kind of embarrassing, but basically, people, people would sometimes come up to me like, oh, do you, people ever tell you that you kind of look like Christiana Ronaldo?
Starting point is 00:48:35 Like, are you related or blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Yeah. And this was early Christiana Ronaldo when he was just becoming an international celebrity. He's huge in Europe, but like people had heard about him in the U.S. Love. So anyways, I was like, why don't I pretend I'm Christiana Ronaldo? And like I'd like to go to the party.
Starting point is 00:48:55 Yeah. So we created a fake Italian PR website. Sent an email to the promoter from that website, you know, URL. Hey, Christianel is going to be in town. like a private entrance to the party and then a number from an Italian number that forwarded through Skype to our phone if you called and then I got a spray tan
Starting point is 00:49:15 I got a black suit I put in diamond earrings gelled back my hair got an escalade and a driver and Duncan was my manager printed out photos so I could sign them and so we head to the now it's like by the way we put Johnny and Dave in the back in the bottom of this cake deliver them to the back of the mansion and actually got them in okay duncan and this other guy
Starting point is 00:49:41 they pushed them up the back edge security was so baffled they're like oh well like we don't have a delivery for this and duncan was driving the truck he said well i got to pick up another cake so i got to leave it somewhere like ah just put it over there so they're in there we can't even now communicate with them they've got beers they've got night vision cameras and they got bottles to pee in four hours later haven't heard from them okay now it's nine o'clock We're going to the party. Drive up to the front of the mansion, and they won't let us in. They're like, fire marshal has shut it down.
Starting point is 00:50:12 There's no more capacity. And Duncan starts to lose it, pretending like he's, you know, the manager that's super pissed. You don't know who this is. Yeah. Now people are started coming. Like, there's a lot of people online trying to get in. They're starting like, who is that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:25 So I just start signing photos for people. People are taking photos. I've got sunglasses on. I'm speaking to the Portuguese accent. and so and then we leave I don't get in
Starting point is 00:50:38 yeah and then we still can't get a hold to Johnny and Duncan or Johnny and Dave and then what happened with them was they were in that
Starting point is 00:50:47 bottom that cake for five hours oh my gosh no oh yeah at midnight they pop out they run into the
Starting point is 00:50:54 party they're expecting to get kicked down five minutes but security looks at them and they think they work
Starting point is 00:51:00 the party because there are like actual people dressed up like umpalupas yeah but small people so they're just like oh i guess it's just larger umbil was a little bit weird but i guess yeah sure i didn't hire the manchin why not for real so they have free reign of the party he's up on stage of snoop dog they do a cannonballs into the grotto anyways they come back to the bus at uh you know one a m they're sopping wet and uh that we crossed it off and that was like one of the first episodes that we filmed
Starting point is 00:51:29 and no one thought like you know you know like with reality television television like you you have to pre-clear locations yeah and we're like what are you talking about like we're coming yeah this is the whole point we're sneaking in so they were like okay this time we'll like to do it but like no one thought we would get in there was being bet's placed at mtv yeah yeah and so we like set the precedence with that one episode like we can do this our way and kept the whole thing real and you know that was always important to us yeah yeah that's it's so like we should go back and watch all this. It's so fun. So Ben and I were talking and we were like, well, we should help, like a listener, somebody that's listening across something off their bucket list.
Starting point is 00:52:10 So we can do a podcast together. We can tell everybody about the bucket list journal. We can inspire everybody to think about what their bucket list would look like. And so we wrote on the Facebook group to get some ideas. So I'm going to read some of them now. And then I'll tell you what's on my bucket list. So Carrie wants to attend the Super Bowl or World's series game. Okay. Hannah says, I'm just over here trying to swim with otters. Simple enough.
Starting point is 00:52:38 So sweet. McKenna wants to see the seven wonders of the world. Michaela says that she loved the buried life and went to see them when they were at her university years ago. And she wants to open a construction slash design company that focuses on helping foster families. Oh, I love that. That was really cool.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Shelby said, I had a liver transplant nine years ago and I want to meet the donor's family and thank them in person. Oh, that's a good one. I loved that one. Wow. Isn't that so nice? And how cool would that be? We should do that one.
Starting point is 00:53:09 I know. I know. Are you going to pick one? Are we picking one? Well, we can, but we want to inspire other people to also, like we might pick one of these, but we also want to inspire people to create, you know, write it down, share it with their friends, do all those things, put it out into the universe, and then maybe be inspired after this podcast, and then we'll go back and maybe find someone.
Starting point is 00:53:31 but it could be one of these. Yeah. This is like kickstarting the momentum. But we want people to write their list and then share it. And then we're going to look at them and be like, okay, who can we help? Yeah. And then we're going to also podcast with that person after. Oh, awesome.
Starting point is 00:53:45 Isn't that nice? Yeah, that's great. Okay, this one's really sweet. So Liz says, my mom has slowly been losing her vision, her entire life. Eventually, she'll be completely blind. And she made a bucket list of places she wants to visit before she loses her vision. On my own bucket list is to take her on some of those. those trips.
Starting point is 00:54:02 Isn't that one nice? Beautiful. Yeah. I feel like I hope people get inspired from this and that we can help someone do something. I think it's going to be, like, I want to like film it and I want it to call it the buried life and I want MTV to pick it up and make it a TV show. Oh, wait, that already happened. No, but it's just so, it's so cool.
Starting point is 00:54:22 I think when you said, like, you can, you can really do anything. You can. Yeah. Anything is possible. Anything is possible. And that's why when you think about what your list item is, you almost need to pretend that you can do anything. So, like, just take out the self-limiting beliefs and then pretend that you have all the money in the world. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:44 And then what's that one thing that you might regret not doing on your deathbed? And write that down, share it with us so we can see it. And also, by the way, when you share it, you give other people the opportunity to help you. It's true. You know, and the only way that we cross things off our list is who the help of other people. We had no business crossing anything off, but people stepped up in unexpected ways. So when you share, you know, you give other people the opportunity to help you. And then you also feel accountable because then you shared it with your, you know, with your following or with your family.
Starting point is 00:55:22 And so you're like, well, I told him I was going to write this book, so I better write the book. Yeah. You know, like, and so there's definite power in. and writing it down and sharing it like you've experienced. Mm-hmm. I really have. So what is on your bucket list right now? Oh, good question.
Starting point is 00:55:39 Do you ever play, I just thought of this one, I think it would be good. You ever play Edward 40 Hands? You know, where you like, in school, we used to have like 40 ounces of beer and then you duct tape them to your hands. Yes. And you couldn't. This is so Canadian. You had to use, you couldn't use your hands, but you had to finish the 40s.
Starting point is 00:55:59 It'd be fun to do that with spade and sparrows. Spade and Sparrow's hands. Yes. Duck tape, a bottle to each mitt. Yes. Yeah. So that's obviously one. So that clearly is on my bucket list.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Well, it's on mine now. That'll be the next podcast. That's going to be my new schick. Yeah. Edward Spade and Spade and Sparrow hands. That's so good. I'm definitely doing that. That's going to be my Halloween costume.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Dug tape. That's literally going to be my Halloween costume. So good. So that's my biggest dream. The other ones are just not as important. Yeah, I know. Yeah, the other. And then, yeah, I think that going to space would be really fun and then finish the documentary.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Yeah. Yeah, you definitely have to do that. Yeah. I think, too, just, you know, now that I'm speaking a lot, I really love just seeing people realize that they can actually. do the thing yeah you know like you can see it this this their their mind change and be like you know what I'm going to do it you know and I think that my big goal is to slowly bring down that percentage of people that have this regrets because like imagine living your whole life and reaching your deathbed and laying on your deathbed and be like oh wow and looking back and being like
Starting point is 00:57:25 I blew it yeah well I mean I think 76 percent according to to that statistic. Yeah. Do. Kind of blew it. Yeah. And so, or feeling like that, which sucks. It's, that's a really high percentage too.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Yeah. But you know what's kind of nice, though? I mean, we're talking about all these grandiose, you know, playing ball with Obama, sleeping with Hugh Hefner, whatever. Like, there's just a lot happening in his bucket list. But sometimes, you know, baby steps, if you're listening to this, you know, don't bite off more than you could freaking chew. I don't bite off more than you can chew.
Starting point is 00:57:55 I look at it like some of the things that, well, based on the things that people, the I was just bringing up the craziest ones. No, I love it. I mean, that makes for a great podcast. This is a really important point, though. Yes. This is a really important point. But yeah, but the five things that people really look at on their deathbed and they start looking back on their life and reflecting, if you really want to make the buck list, like some of the things.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Like, some of the things are quite simple and really special. And it could just be savoring the moment and enjoying some making someone smile or reminding someone that you love them or really being present or things like that. Those are some of my bucket list items. Yes. I don't want to have any regrets. with certain individuals, I don't want, the only regret I want to have with, like, my mom or dad is the fact that I have to lose them. That's it. I don't want arguments or passive aggressive or unsettled business in any regard with you included. And so, not that we have any, but,
Starting point is 00:58:44 you know what I mean? We don't. We can make one, though, if you want to make things interesting. Yeah, get a little saucy. Yeah. But, yeah. That is a good point, though. I think that it's kind of nice, too. But, like, this is a great reminder to even have those little things, but also, there was some fun ones. Go swim with some otters to you want. You know, why not? Yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah, I agree.
Starting point is 00:59:05 I'm trying to think of my bucket list, which I have in my journal, I literally wrote, like, I want to take my dad to Scotland, go golfing. I want to take my mom to Italy, and I want to take my sister on an African safari. Wow. Yeah. Is she into African safaris? No, that's just, purely for me. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:59:23 No, it's terrible. No, those are, and those are on my bucket list because those are. on their bucket list. So that's, my sister's bucket list is to go do a safari. My dad wants to, he's golfed at the majority of places that he's dreamt of, but there's one in Scotland. And my mom is me and we like to drink wine in Italy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:44 Yeah. And it is like the small things that people regret, like expressing your feelings. Like that's what you're talking about with your parents. Like nothing goes unsaid, you know, and, you know, relationships, staying in meaningful relationships with people that you care about because a relationship takes an investment it's an energy investment so you need to deploy your energy in a way that you feel is like going to give you the best return and usually it's in work because we're like success is top of the ladder making the money yeah you know and guess what people talk about in eulogies it's not like oh my god
Starting point is 01:00:21 katelyn she made a boatload and did she make a lot of money billions yeah billions yeah Brilliant. A lot of wine. A lot of wine. How many bottles? A lot. Yeah, no, that's true. They say, like, Caitlin was, like, always there for me whenever I needed her. Yeah. And she was a great friend and, you know, et cetera, et cetera. And so those, like, I like thinking about death as much as possible. Same. Because I do. I think about it every day. If you can think about it every day, it's a blessing. Sounds so morbid, but I do. But it's, it, it feels that, but it's just because. death is taboo but we need to think about and talk about it more because you you hear about this all the time someone says i almost died like i had a near-death experience and everything changed from
Starting point is 01:01:08 that moment on i everything was in perspective my mom had cancer my mom passed away and at that moment my partner passed away everything jay why does it take a traumatic experience to shake us enough to realize what is important so like how can you have that same epiphany that's in a realization of having to go through that experience. The only way I've found is by really keeping death close to you, reminding yourself that this is not going to last because you think you have all this time, but you don't. That's why people have the regrets because they're like, oh, you know what, we'll do it next year. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:43 We've got tons of time. The things get buried. You get buried by the day to day. And this is the human condition. It's been happening for hundreds of years. It's going to keep happening. And I always find it interesting, like if I see someone in their 90s walking down the street and they're so shuffling along, maybe hunched over, not for a moment do I think that's going to be me. I don't even think about it.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Yeah, you're right. And the truth is, if I'm lucky, that will be me. Yeah. If I'm lucky I'll live to 90. Yeah. I could get out of here and just get rammed by a car. Yeah. I was like, well, I like the other one better. I don't want you to get rammed by a car. No, we want you to live. But life is so fragile. My God, we don't know. I know. And so, yeah, I, to your point, absolutely. Absolutely. You have to kind of always have the idea of death. And it's like a bittersweet way. That's how I look at it. Yeah, that's true. I always just think of it such as like it's such a dark thing. But if you have to think about it in the way that you were just explaining it. And I think that's a really good reminder for everybody. So I go to the cemetery every week. You do. He does. Do you? That's amazing. Yeah. I like to work out there do my squats with Michael Jackson.
Starting point is 01:02:49 He really does. This is great. So it's beautiful. But it reminds me constantly. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, yeah, this is, I mean, I see so many people that are losing loved ones. And it's, it's really painful. But there's some sort of a comfort, too, in that reminder.
Starting point is 01:03:05 You kind of have to rip the bandit off a bit. Exposure therapy for me in that way. Yeah. Because I'm like, okay. Like, I got to text whoever, you know, because it just really checks me a couple times a week. That's, that's a, I mean, that's a great. I have this app that reminds me I'm going to die a couple times a day
Starting point is 01:03:22 called We Kroke. What? Are you a shareholder in this? This is a great business for you. I should be. We Kroke. Yeah, it's pretty funny. It gives me these like quotes about death.
Starting point is 01:03:35 Yeah, sometimes I just laugh. I'm like, oh, that's funny. It's not even a very good app. Randomly, you'll just get a death quote. Yeah. See if I can pull one up. Oh, my gosh. And so, yeah, they're pretty good.
Starting point is 01:03:48 But the other. thing too is like in ancient Egypt at like when they would have their big dinners you know like they'd all be feasting they would roll in a dead body yeah and they'd be like hey like this will be us
Starting point is 01:04:03 one day so like enjoy and like that would definitely put it into perspective for me I'd be like I'm going to Scotland tonight my gosh yeah I just has a panic attack
Starting point is 01:04:17 I would I can't even handle Hawaii when they bring in like a dead pig for the roast. I'm like, no, no. Yeah, no. I'm not a few of that. Jason had like a rotisserie chicken. You're like, I'm going to pass out. Yeah, I'm like, you f***ing monsters. And then I eat bacon the next morning. No, I don't. Okay, so next step. So this is a good quote. So this is We croak. I just pulled it up. Oh, yeah. A little, little, little, light little quote for you.
Starting point is 01:04:40 What is it? The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you'll never have. Yeah, but hey, there you go. I'm downloading this, and I'm going to exposure therapy myself into thinking about death. I've been dying for you to come to the cemetery with me, but you're always here just a little in, that was a great pun, by the way. Yeah, I've been dying to take you. Oh, oh, my God, I've got a good pun. Thank you for that. Okay, let's give everybody homework the next steps.
Starting point is 01:05:07 Oh, okay. So what does everybody out there want to do? What do you want to do before you die? Anything. Small or big. Mm-hmm. Doesn't matter. Anything.
Starting point is 01:05:16 I'm going to post to the off the vine. Instagram account with one of those little question boxes. And then everybody can submit them. And then Ben and I will look through them and see who we can help. Can I be part of it too? I was just looking at you. It would be like, you can come to you. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:05:33 But yeah, that's what everybody's homework is. That's awesome. I love that. All right. I freaking love that. And thank you for coming here today. And it's always lovely talking to you. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:40 It's always so fun. Yeah. This was nice. This was nice. I'm going to go read death quotes. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:51 Did you have anything else you wanted to add in there before, like where people can go? Or I know we kind of touched on where they can have the journal. The journal? Yeah. I mean, yeah. If I would say you want to write that one thing, share it. And then you want to find a place to write your list. So like it can be the bucket list journal or it can be any journal.
Starting point is 01:06:09 But you don't want to just write it on your phone and on notes in your phone. You don't want to write it. Yeah. And I would encourage you to write it in a place that you will keep and come back to. because as I you said it evolves so you you update it as as you go so if you write on a piece of paper the piece of paper will probably get lost it'll get torn over time so find a journal or find a notepad that you love and and that's where you need a safe place for your dreams to live and then you come back to them and it's a reminder and you update it so you can you can use the journal 10 categories as a
Starting point is 01:06:39 guide if you go to write your list.com you can see those 10 categories you can check out the journal if you want to get it but find a find a notepad find a journal write you your list and then the way that you can figure out the most important thing on your list is you can, after you write it, look at your list and imagine that you come across a magic lamp and you rub the lamp and Jeannie pops out and Jeannie's like, hey, you know, I'm a genie. Does a little dance. What are those little genius do? Hey, they should me.
Starting point is 01:07:09 It's like a shoulder shake or jazz hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the two, but you're, it doesn't matter. You're in awe because it's a genie. Yeah. And Jeannie says, hey, I'm a genie. I'm going to I'm going to make one of your list items come true. Anyone you want?
Starting point is 01:07:22 Oh, my God. It's so exciting. I was excited. And then you say, but, because there's a butt. There's a catch. By doing this one thing, you can never cross anything off your list. So nothing else will ever happen. So what do you choose?
Starting point is 01:07:37 Oh, my God. Mean, Jeannie. Yeah. Selfish, Jeannie. What the hell did I do? You're back in the lamp. I've been stuck in a lamb for a thousand years. That's what a little bitter.
Starting point is 01:07:48 But yeah, one, okay, that forces you to really, gosh. Yeah, I don't know what that one thing would be right now. Oh, mine would be. I want to have Tom Jones on the podcast, on my podcast, or have dinner with him. And hopefully it could be recorded. That's the Welsh singer. Yeah. That's what you want.
Starting point is 01:08:06 Okay. So I'm just going to throw it out there. I know it's so selfish, though, because there's so many other things that have to, but I'm just like timeline-wise. No, that's a good one. Before he might go. Yeah. Before he we crooks. Before he re crooks.
Starting point is 01:08:17 Yeah. dot com yeah what do you have one thing that doesn't have to be the most important thing but what's that just came to the top of my head right now i like that you you said that you had the ones for your family members yeah anything else for you for me personally yeah it's a fun one for you but no i think my one my goal is i mean probably have like somebody on my podcast like bray brown would be amazing that oh i love her um and have my wine and targets yeah there it is I know. Everybody hold me accountable. There it is. Buddies.
Starting point is 01:08:51 Okay. There you go. Perfect. Okay. Thanks. Love you. Thanks. Love you. Mean it. Love you. Mean it. Love you. Mean it. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Off the Vine. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow on your favorite podcast platform.
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Starting point is 01:09:47 Thank you.

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