Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Big Brother's Jessica Graf and Elena Davies

Episode Date: January 15, 2019

This week Kaitlyn hangs out with Big Brother's own Jessica Graf and Elena Davies! Join in the fun as Jessica talks about the "joys" of pregnancy, Elena tells the ladies how she puts her best foot forward... for cash, and then answer questions from fans like you! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We are in my hotel room. We are in bed. We've got room service on the way with Jessica Graff, who needed cookies. Absolutely. Do you now go by Jessica Nixon? You know, it was like this whole branding thing, because I love. Jessica Nixon. I think it's so pretty. It is. And I've actually gotten,

am I allowed to say the S-H-I-T word on this? Okay. I've got I need to know my boundaries first. Yeah, yeah. I've gotten shit lately about like my podcast not being under Jessica Nixon and just being under Jessica Graf. Excuse me, but Jessica Graff is your identity. That's who you are. Exactly. So you can take your time or not change it or change it and that is all up to you. Do you know how long it takes to do like legal documents post-wedding? It's annoying. It's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's,

your identity that's your name you can do whatever you want give me a minute people like oh boy so let's not make this a thing you can call me jesska nixon i love jesska nixon and obviously i still respond to jesska graft yeah it was 28 years people yeah 28 years of your call me just don't call me a bitch yeah that's it you call me anything or call me a bitch so we've got cookies on the way because how far long are you again i think when this comes out it'll be seven months okay okay great so the little one in my belly yeah wanted cookies yes so we will give her what she wants. What baby wants, baby gets. Baby gets. Mama gives what baby wants.

Yeah, there you go. And we've also got Elena Davies, both from Big Brother. Hi. Hi. And you are not pregnant. Not pregnant, not married. Same last name. I do eat like I'm pregnant, though. Like, she has this beautiful excuse to have chocolate chip cookies. And I also want...

I want to dispute this because you make this joke about you eating for two. And I have known you long enough and work close enough I know that Mark eats your food he does it's painful he orders two meals himself and then finishes the majority of mine as well oh but you would

and here's the thing you would think that living with like a fitness and nutrition coach that I would be dropping the LBs I have legitimately gained like 15 to 20 pounds in the year 2018 the latter half and that and that's why I make the eating for two cookie jokes.

I like to be, make sure that my audience knows that I'm aware. I'm a little chubby. Yeah, but you are not. You're curvy and I'm thinking, I love your curves. I want curves. I wish I had, I dream about curves. I dream about cookies. So there's your difference.

No, I love my body and I love my curves. And I'm actually even okay with my body now. My biggest complaint is that I cannot fit in my jeans. And they're so expensive. I'm really not trying to drop another. like $400 on three pairs of pants for my temporary, hopefully temporary weight gain. Well, maybe do you think it's like a little bit of resentment? Because I know when I was with Sean and he was so healthy and working out, I'd be like,

well, now I don't want to work out. I'm like, I don't have to work out as much as you. You were boycotting. Yeah, I was like boycotting. Strike. Yeah, I was like, I'll show him. Well, you were a rebellious child. I always was.

So maybe that's what I'm doing. Are you rebelling? No, no. I'm just living my life the way I want to. And what's beautiful is that my boyfriend loves me Perfectly fine with my chubs And that's great Stop calling it chubs

Well this is like there's some extra chubs Than my previously less than this chubs It's your curves My curves Yeah I what it is is I had figured out how to live my life And eat within my means Before I lived with Mark

And he is He's all in or all out Like, and he's, I mean, he's super in a fitness, super into nutrition, super in working out. But when he has his cheats, he cheats. Or he'll keep food in the house just in case he wants to cheat or have a little snack. But he has so much self-discipline. He knows there are reases in the pantry and he can avoid them. Wow.

But if I know they're there. You're over here like, wow, that's deep. Wow. I'm very impressed. It sits on our countertops or I open the pantry and there they are. And I'm also lazy. I don't make food. I wait until the last second.

And then I'm like, I'm absolutely starving. I can't have another second of starvation. Yeah. Do you feel like you have the cravings and do you eat more of being pregnant or is that a rumor? Oh, I totally have cravings. I definitely didn't until I think the cravings really, really started like second half of my second trimester because I feel like each week.

What do you smell? Did someone fart? No. It might be my breath. Oh, my God. It might be my breath. Mark, on the other side of the room. Mark, did you fart?

No, you were to fart yet. I don't know. I've got pregnancy nose. You have pregnancy nose. It's probably my garlic breath. No, because we have the same breath. We eat the same thing. Now I'm so much about my breath.

Okay, moving on. I just chewed gum, though. No, it was very passing. It was like someone snuck one in. Mine linger, though. Mine linger, though. Yeah, you would have still been smelling it. I don't know that I know that much about my farts to have a comment on them.

Very knowledgeable on my toots. Good for you. Know your body. Yeah, no your body. Yeah. Okay. So what you're saying is, it was Elena. Yeah.

If I tooted, well, you're welcome. You got a piece of me that a lot of people wish they could have. There you go. It stopped me dead in my tracks. Okay. Back to food. Back to food. Normal transition.

Farts to food. Yeah. You did say earlier on Twitter or Instagram. Instagram that this was going to be a disgusting conversation. So I just had to point out. I was going to go there with bodily functions and all the things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So cravings. This week it's donuts. Like I don't think I ever had like I always liked donuts, but I never understood. People are like obsessed with donuts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We all have the friend that's like obsessed with donuts. That's me this week. Like I have been ordering Boston Cream donuts. Like it's my effing job. I love Boston Cream donuts. They're the best. when they have the, like, the consistency, like the right ratio of cream in the donut? Yeah.

Oh. Did you just orgasm? It was the right amount of cream. She likes the cream. That was the right consistency. Good for you, Cody. Aliens are about to rock your world. Tuesdays at 9-8 Central, the incredible new series, Roswell, New Mexico continues on the CW.

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Jess or do you prefer Jessica? I prefer Jessica, but I answer to both. Okay. I also appreciate when people ask that though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I don't ever realize when people call me Jess. Yeah. It's not like something in my head. I'm like, oh, God, that person call me just. Like, I just respond and don't think anything of it. Yeah. So when people like take a second to ask me what I prefer, I always think it's super sweet. Oh, well, you're welcome. Thanks for being sweet. Yeah, you're welcome.

On Big Brother, I remember having the conversation if you prefer Jess or Jessica. And this is one of those standout memories for whatever reason. Like, it didn't affect my life, but I remember it clearly. And Jess was like, yeah, I don't really love Jess. I prefer people to say my full name. And then for the rest of the season, it was just, just this, just. And not out of like people that we didn't like. It was me, Mark and Cody.

And every time I call you Jess, I'm like, she don't like that again but like it doesn't bother me ever if you call me jesse i plan on kidnapping your firstborn and like oh so selling it on ebay doesn't bother you at all then that so what i'm trying to say is call me jesse i dare you i'm going to i'm going to put that theory to test because now you know i'm one of those people i like to push buttons i like to test my boundary you you saved your eggs so i'm just going to go straight to the egg bank just straight to the Wow, that's really funny. Did that get dark?

Yeah, I'm uncomfortable. Flesh him down the toilet. They're going to go missing. Or I'm going to just switch them out. Like, switch your eggs with somebody else's, and you're just going to discover your child, like, years later. That's a reasonable reaction. I got really deep. Not dramatic at all.

So go listen to her podcast. It's the hormones. What's your podcast is called Now What? Now What? My nipples are so hard right now. Oh, is that what happens? Yeah. I think it's the lingering of my toot.

Yeah. No. If your toot smell is making my nipples hard, then I need to not be around you for a bit. Move out of the zip code that we're both in. I'm going to need a break. Are you already like, I don't understand pregnancy. Are you already like producing milk and it's coming out? No.

But I can't wait for that to happen because I'm totally making Cody try it. Absolutely. You have to. Right? He said no. at first and I was like, trick him. You put it in his coffee. He drinks a black. He still would drink it. Yeah. But no, I'm forcing him. He doesn't get a say in this. Like, you just have to tell him it's YouTube content and y'all will get a lot of views and he'll be on board.

Well, I do plan on getting those contraction machines to put on him and we're going to do a YouTube video on that. Oh my gosh. That's such a good idea. You should do it also do it on the podcast. Make a YouTube video out of it. You get double the content and you can like genuinely capture his reaction this is why we're friends what a pro but don't you think kill two birds with one stone i'm a little nervous that he's just going to be the freaking superhero marine that he is and he's like not even going to react i have a solution for that what put it on mark oh mark will be a badass baby about it yeah he nods over there he is he is a big baby it's actually a little cute though oh and cute big baby i i nurture him all

a little bit. I kind of like it when he needs me. Oh yeah. I'm a big fan of if the guy needs me. Which is weird because I'm not, I don't think of myself as being very nurturing. But recently he's had like a couple little like procedures and whatever and he needed me.

And I mean it got old for after a second but at first, at first it was cute. I was like baby. I kind of liked it. Yeah, that's cute. I like that. I'm a big fan of if someone needs me. I'm like, you need me. I need you. because I need you too.

But I can be pretty needy in relationships. Are you guys needy? I'm same. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's not a bad thing. I know I'm needy. Self-aware.

Yeah, self-aware, needy girl. I'm codependent. Yeah. Let's go there. But I feel like as long as you advertise yourself is that from the beginning, they can't really say anything about it, you know? That's true. I'm an open rapper.

Yeah. Is that what you are? Is that a thing? Is that a thing? No. I'm an open book. I'm an open book. if you can open me like a rapper.

I'm not sure where you're going with that, but I kind of understood. I'm an open rapper. I'm needy, but in a way where I'm like, it's a healthy, needy. Oh, mine's not healthy. Oh. Yeah, you are a psycho.

Really? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. But what's, okay, so I was single for like five years before. I hate that Marcus here for this. I'm uncomfortable. I'm sweating.

You're wearing a beanie and a scarf and a jacket. Okay, well, that's because I look like fat bass bastard from Austin Powers. I look, looks like a vagina. Yeah, yeah. My face literally looks like a bullfrog. I feel like one wrong kiss and I'm going to turn into somebody as Prince because I got Kybella yesterday and I'm so self-conscious.

It's weird because I was using my Instagram story just as a camera to look at myself earlier and it was at just the right angle. That was, of course, terrifying for anyone, not just someone who had Kaibela. But I was like, I was like, this is a familiar face. And it hit me, that bastard from Austin Powers. That's what I look like. And if I would have taken my top off and like, just rolling around. I've actually seen you do that.

Because I've Googled the picture just to make a fair comparison. And I'm like, oh, my God, his boobs hang down real low and everything. I'm like, oh, not good. Hey, wait, this is, I'm so intrigued by everything that you're doing. Because, so you've got. something, what is it, Kaibela? It's called Kaibela, and it's basically an easier alternative

to liposuction. What are the risks here? It freezes your fat and your chin, and it processes through your body. Yeah, it basically dissolves your fat. I think. I don't know if it's freeze, but it's... I'm going to say it with conviction so that, like, it sounds correct. Yeah, nobody will question you. It's about like that, basically a dissolving of your fat, and it's not FDA approved on every part of your body, but

it's allowed on your your neck. And what people don't even realize is sometimes double chins or like jowls around your lips is a hereditary thing. Like one of my really good friends

McKenna is T-Tiny and just had like double chin. And so she's gotten Kybella and seen amazing results. And we've already addressed this gained some weight this year. And so I know that's contributing a little bit. But I've always

I have a really weak jaw line, my neck protrudes. It's a hereditary thing. So we're trying to do Kybela. Well, just so you know, I've never noticed that on you. Oh, I love the way you lie to me. No, I will never lie to you. It's because I hide it well. You know, you like, know your insecurities.

So anytime. You work well with what you've got. That's what I say about myself. I work within my means. That's so funny. I mean, you're always very open and honest with Instagram about stuff you do like Botox and filler. Oh, totally.

Which I have mad respect. for because i mean i do it too i don't take it that far because i'm like oh god i'm kind of scared of people's backlash do you get a lot of hate for for sharing that uh i get some i feel like like jessica would say my block list is pretty pretty solid so all the people that hate me have retired their accounts yeah they're gone mostly my favorite thing though and this happened before i even had a huge platform and would talk openly about it but if like some of my guy friends or somebody knew that i was getting like Botox or a facial or a chemical appeal or whatever else and they're like I don't know why you do that stuff to your to your face like you're pretty you're pretty as you are and I'm like

listen bud I've been getting this shit for two years that's why you think I'm pretty I just haven't talked about it you just happen to know I have an appointment tomorrow at noon and you want to make a comment that's so but you've thought I've been pretty this whole time and I've made you know some like minor adjustments and everyone can have their opinion about all of that stuff I am of the belief that if you're insecure about something and it really bothers you, fix it. If you want to, fix it. If it's something that's going to like...

There's a needle for that. Yeah, there's always a needle for that. If it's like debilitating your self-confidence, fix it. Right. And then there are things about me that I absolutely love and I've used needles or facials or whatever else to accentuate some of my favorite features. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So to me, there's nothing wrong with it. And I think that it's a phenomenon that's happening so much. much and no one is talking about it but everyone has questions so I've just been pretty open about it because I think I was talking to my skin girl Elizabeth about this on the people think like there's like like they don't they aren't knowledgeable about it when there's actually a lot of benefits to Botox as well but I got a lot of feedback on that podcast that I did of people being like it sounds like you're pushing Botox and I'm like no I'm not pushing it at all I'm just all for it I am do it or be Ugly.

Botox sponsor me. If you don't like Botox. Yeah. You can put it anywhere. You can put it in your armpits. You can put it in your vagina. You can put it... Wait, what does it do to get Botox in your vagina?

Yeah, I'm not sure I know about that. Oh, yeah. You can, like, put Botox into, like, your G-Spot, and it, like, inflames your G-spot to, like, come to come to an easier orgasm. Stop. Yeah, you've never heard this. I think I heard about it on the Real Housewives of Beverly. Beverly Hills or wags, one of the two.

What's weggs? Women, wives and girlfriends of sports stars. Oh, what? It's on E or Bravo? I think E. Yeah. That's crazy. Botox in your vagina.

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Lecroy Sparkling Water, a healthier alternative for you and your lifestyle. So yesterday in my appointment with Kaibela, I had a rough day. I need alcohol still to recover. Don't worry. It's on the way. I did a chemical peel on my face because I've really bad hormonal acne right now. I did laser hair removal on my bikini and my armpits. I did Kybella in my neck and in my jowls.

And I did Botox all across my forehead in my jaw for grinding. What are the? TMJ. Yeah. TMJ. TMJ. And then I did what they call a lip flip with Botox. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's where they put it like on the corners of your lip so that when you smile, your lip doesn't like curve up into your gums. What? Yeah. There's a lot of girls who have. like insecurities about a gummy smile Like when they smile their lip curls up And if you actually get Botox above your lip

It just relaxes your lip under So that when you smile it kind of is all even You needed that? I don't know I definitely don't see gummed I feel like I would have totally told you If you had a gummy smile I guess it's not just for if you have a gummy smile

It's like if your lip does the thing That when you smile Like maybe you have like a pouty lip Or like a full upper lip naturally but when you smile the ends like near your smile lines like would curve up into your into your mouth into your gum so it like yeah it just relaxes the muscle there so that it doesn't just like kind of squeeze up into your mouth and I do want to say that if other people think like that's crazy or like why are you doing this to yourself it's like well good for you for having

the confidence to not have to do it or that you're happy with it but like there's certain things that I'm like I feel like I'm on you know in getting my picture taking a lot or is trying to to do things for like content and I'm like I have to see myself all the time and like I'll just notice little things here and there that I want to tweak so it makes me feel better but if you don't think I'm so proud of you too yeah I know I love getting the DMs after I talk about Botox and it's like well I'm 45 and I've never done Botox and I look great I want to give you a great word I want to give you a slow clap congratulations on your confidence like that also but like I could see where we could put some needles yeah Like, just because you're not getting, it doesn't mean you don't need it. Like, you look great. Your confidence is there, like, more power to you. It's to each their own. And if you want to do it, do it.

If you don't, don't. I think people just like to speak out without being fully educated on it or being completely aware. Like, people saying you're too young in your early 20s to get Botox. Like, that's a preventative thing. Just because I get Botox doesn't mean I get 200 units of Botox. I can get 20 units of Botox. and not be completely reasonable and luckily for me I go to a med spa

that likes the word no so when I'm like ooh I could do that and they're like you really don't need that because it's addicting like once you start seeing some enhancements or you know you're looking at yourself more critically yeah

you want more of it so I just appreciate that when I feel like I want something if I don't they back me down I mean I've talked about this on my podcast so many times but the amount of messages I get from people when I like like the other night when I was on the Bachelor premiere the amount of people that feel the need to tell me how different I look I'm like oh my gosh I do like and I've

said this especially when you see yourself on TV I'm literally bleach blonde compared to how I was on the show I have full extensions in I have gotten some Botox so yeah I'm going to look a little different just in the sense where my eyebrows are touch higher yeah I've got a spray tan I've got professional hair and makeup done. I am four years older than I was on the show. And I get those comments all the time where people like have accused me of having like extensive plastic surgery. And I'm like, that's aggressive.

Yeah. And my whole take on that is you're just a simple minded person. And if that's what you choose to believe about me, go ahead. It's not really affecting me. But I, what a lot of people don't realize about me is like I used to be a fat kid. I used to be 50, 60 pounds heavier than I was. I've struggled with my weight throughout college after. So losing 50 pounds and learning how to shape my eyebrows has, yes, completely changed the way I look.

I'm seven years older, 50 pounds lighter. And you can actually see my cheekbones. It's shocking. And so I just love how people have so many opinions about what I choose to do at. I know at my med spa or about my just like me maturing I'm like you're okay I'm glad I'm I'm bothering you this much yeah people are easily bothered that's I was just did you have Jessica did you have something say I feel like I just cut you off I think that once you see yourself on television you see like all of these other angles that you don't get to see like you have a world

of people pointing out your flaws exactly like oh maybe my eyeliner shouldn't be done like that or maybe my my mascara skills needs some work and I've got like spider eyes or maybe what are those things when you see back clips from big brother was there some like a couple specific things with like the way you did your hair or makeup or something specific that you were like oh man that didn't that didn't translate I mean of course my my biggest thing on my season was everyone had comments about my hair extensions and it wasn't like that was just something that I don't see myself 360 degrees until there is a camera

in HD and then everyone's you see yourself and you're just like oh I didn't know that I had these problems and now I can look at it and I can fix it

and then you evolve look wise and especially when you like do a couple of different interviews for looking different exactly but you can't win yeah no one's ever happy if you're ugly they're pissed if you fix it they're still pissed

and then if you age gracefully and like no Botox they tell you look tired than that you're looking old like it just you just can't wait on the internet yeah so you might as well just do whatever you want needle it up needle it up do whatever you want i plan on a mommy makeover as soon as this little one's born like i plan on going to l.a after the four of them come out there well i just mean like appearance wise just like not like i like i'm going to go in and get my Botox because you can't get Botox when you're pregnant well then i'm never getting pregnant you can't do any of that so i'm

to go ahead and get Botox. We talked about this last night, the three of us. Like, you can't do anything about pregnancy acne. You can say a little prayer. And if God loves you enough, then he will give you the grace to not get breakouts. And you can get that beautiful pregnancy glow. I am not loved by God enough to have that. So you are blessed with a miracle of a child in your stomach.

And I am gladly taking it. But I am fully aware that the second she is out of my vagina, that I am. am going to get a laser facial and get all of like any scarring that happened or any like intense breakouts like that that's getting fixed at least your acne comes with a reward yeah a beautiful life yeah mine mine comes with I don't know no I don't think it comes with gifts oh there's our wine her wine's just thinking that it took a long time to bring a cookie and wine and two glasses It's going to be good with sharing that cookie with me, right? Yeah.

Maybe just like one or two bites. Depends on how tasty it is. It's supposed to be jumbo. You can just sign for it, Mark. Thank you. Yeah, I'm struggling with the worst acne right now, and it is literally painful. What is with that adult acne? I have no idea.

That's, like, one thing that I've always been pretty confident about is I've had clear skin, and I'm like a skin freak in general. I know all the things. I take care of my skin. to an obsessive degree. And around this time last year, which is right after we got out of the Big Brother house, I'd had the same thing.

Anything if it's on your jaw line or at your chin that's directly correlated with your hormones. So, but my acne... I just called myself, like, rubbing my chin. I know. I was about to rub my chin too as I was talking about it. And I was like, Elena, you know better. But yeah, I just had this random hormonal acne thing happen around this time last year.

And then all of the sudden, actually in October, we were all in L.A. for Jess's wedding. And I was starting to get concerned that I was pregnant because I was side effects. I was beautiful. Oh, I was glowing. I was stunning. I walk into Starbucks. The girl's like, your makeup. It's great.

And I look at her and I'm like, I'm not wearing any. Like, it was so good. And I feel 100% okay with hyping myself up right now because I look so bad right now. My mom actually talked about how your skin. how great your skin was and how she thought you were wearing makeup and you weren't wearing makeup seriously see you know what I actually think that's called the California glow is it I think my spray tan helped too always help but yeah hormonal acne is such a thing it's crazy I never had acne my whole life and then 30s I'm like what you're like oh hey what's this and it's it literally

hurts it hurts it does hurt um but yeah I don't get it in October stunning glowing then November hits and here I am I'm like is this seasonal what's Maybe it is. Am I allergic to happiness and holidays? I don't know. It's probably it has to do with diet too if we're like eating Christmas treats and like goodies and drinking and I think the thing that's the worst about hormonal acne is that it can be a diet thing. Everyone has different results. My DMs are blown up with suggestions. And I'm honestly I am trying some of them. But that's the thing about it is that because every body is different, there's no guarantee if I put. vix vapor rub on my chin that that's going to work even though it did for karen you know right and and but i mean i'm everybody's different doing all the things trying all the things and crying myself to sleep every night oh well you know what you look great in my opinion thank you yeah she's also two glasses yeah i'm also drunk so i'm also have my blindfold on but whatever

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and they'll check it out with you together you can ask questions and get the answers that you need so there's no surprises then simply leave with your check or trade in your car for a new ride so when you're ready to experience a better way to sell or trade in your car check out true car today i feel like we need to get into confessions shit this podcast is already going by so fast and I hate that um and I have a good one okay I'm excited this is actually nuts I can't believe this happened to me and it happened last night is this what you put on your story yes yes this is okay good so I get home and uh I'm just like I wanted to watch the rest of the bachelor because I didn't watch the whole thing and so I'm like I'm like I'll probably

fall asleep while I'm watching so I better put the do not disturb sign on my door well I'm in a double room. So that room is attached to this room. And so I have two doors, one over there and one over here. So I got two of the signs. I put on one. One sign on the door. It says, do not disturb. And I was like, do I have enough room to walk? Oh, yeah. Let me first tell you the important part. I have no pants on. Okay. No pants. I'm wearing. I just assume that that was the case. Yeah. Okay. So I had a thong on, a thong on and a top. And I'm like, ah, I can reach that door. Go to put on the do not disturb sign. Oh my God. Door shuts behind me. No. I am locked. I'm locked. I. I'm locked. I. I'm of my hotel room standing in my thong with a t-shirt on this is amazing i'm like oh god and i'm just

like panicking i start feeling sick i was like what do i like double check like maybe the doors will open if i just like no and then i'm like what am i going to do so i'm like usually hotels have like a phone in the hallway somewhere so i'm like oh my i got to get to it it's right in the middle where all the six elevator doors are that's where the phone is and i hate to be the one to remind you of this but you're like kind of well known you're not just a normal girl in a thong in the hallway like people know who you are you're a little famous but yeah i don't about that but so i find the phone and i go and i'm like praying to god i'm like please nobody come out of your room nobody get out of the elevator and so i call i pick out the phone it's ringing it's ringing nobody's

answering nobody's answering and i'm like oh my god standing there in a thong and this is like a large hotel and a large floor like there's a lot of hotel rooms six elevators and i'm standing there right in the middle in a thong and i'm like dying how exposed is your but hole like it's a it's a skimpy thought but how like long is the t-shirt uh i hope it's a crop top it wasn't a crop top but it wasn't a long t-shirt so your butt was out oh fully okay because during this i was picturing like okay covered by those the i mean thank god i had underwear on my vagina was covered by the panties but they're kind of sheer oh okay oh this story just got way worse.

Yeah. I think you means better. No, it's about to get even worse. Oh, no. Jason walked in. He's the hero that came to save the day. He swept you off your feet. Plowed open that door and plowed you.

And then plowed me. So I'm like, I hung up. I call again. It's ringing. It's ringing. It's ringing. All of a sudden I hear, ding. One of the elevators opens.

Two guys. my age carrying bud lights walk out and I'm standing there and I'm covering myself up and I'm just looking at them and they stood there like shocked like deer in headlights like they're looking at me like what the hell is this girl doing? Then they probably think I'm like high or drawn. Oh my god it's

Caitlin Bristow's vagina. No I promise can I get a selfie? I promise they're like wow the force actually works. They were just hoping when the elevator's open that there's going to be a hot naked girl and there you were. I literally panicked and I said please turn around and they've got their bud lights and they were literally like stunned and then they were like

oh are you okay and they like turned around and then they're like are you okay and i was like i could take one of those bud lights right now i was like if you want to pass me a be l smooth i'll take it so i was like yes i'm trying to call down and get a key i got locked out of my room and i was trying to put a sign up it doesn't whatever just like just go just go and then they're like okay just as long as you're okay and i'm like yes i feel like i would have put them to work like please go down I was just humiliate. I wanted them to just get out of my face. Wow.

I'm on a lane aside with this. I would have made them go downstairs for me. And I would have also taken a bud light for sure. Take your shirt off. Give me a bud light. And please make me feel more comfortable by taking some of your clothes off. See, I was in a state of panic and I wasn't thinking. I get that.

They could have wrapped their shirt around your vagina. Wow. But damn it. Also, I'm thinking about this not naked in a hallway. So I could just. You would have panicked like I did. You see, I'm one of those people that kind of embraced humiliation. So I would, I likely would have been like, hey, it's up.

Well, I asked. Could you could use a beer and a little help. You know what? I thought I would have been like that. But I panicked. I literally was like, don't look at me. Yeah. Like I just didn't.

I didn't. I mean, panic always changes. Surgery. Removal. Oh, no. No, I'm just kidding. We're a little rough down there. I mean, I've been better.

I've been better. By the way, I want to talk. talk to you about that because I need to get everything done oh I have all I have all the answers to all the things it doesn't hurt really bad no I will say just sidebar from your humiliating story yeah I cried yesterday but that's I feel like because my nerves were overwhelmed by how much I got I know and I also don't want people listening this to think that I'm a wild maniac like med spa addict yeah yeah it was just happened to be that I had a two hour long appointment and my esthetician was feeling bold

Yeah, I might as well go to town. Yeah, so normal, laser hair removal does hurt a little bit. It's totally manageable. I disagree. That's all you're doing. Okay. Okay. Okay.

So then I finally called, there's more? Well, I called down one more time and somebody answers. And I said, look, I've got no pants on. I'm locked out of my hotel room. And I need somebody to come back and let me in. And she said, you won't believe this, but this has happened many times. Oh. And so she came up and she let me in.

And that was my story. but dear god like the just the fact that two guys my age came out with bud lights like come yeah i mean it was that's pretty that's almost the worst possible scenario if i was younger i feel like this would have been traumatizing but like i'm like this is hilarious i feel like my butt's already on the internet so whatever yeah and of course as soon as this happens i go yes podcast content you have the same brain as me because i was as you were telling this story i was like i don't feel bad for you because the podcast God's love you and they

just rain down. Nobody enjoys being humiliated except for the people they get to talk about it to masses. I mean I was before Big Brother I was on the radio some and anytime something embarrassing happened to me I loved it like bird shit on my head in the middle of the date

yes. Yeah. Like everything that's too bad. Yeah it makes because everybody that's listening to you is just like oh thank God. I or have something that's equally embarrassing and you just make them feel better about it I mean whenever we were at Jess's wedding and you showed up in a bright yellow dress

yep yeah I remember in a black tie event situation black or white Caitlin I didn't I didn't I didn't even tell again didn't notice like you came up to me hugged me and my brain was just like on so many other things that it didn't register because you would have been mad yeah I would didn't I actually noticed

Alexander Rossi calling you out right now he was wearing a navy blue tuxedo as opposed to a black tuxedo and I noticed so I noticed that but I didn't notice your yellow dress funny but I mean a podcast content I mean and I know you talk I know you talk about I listen

it fell right in line with my wardrobe malfunction at the Emmy so I was like this is just so on brand for me you know I just I just don't get the memos for wardrobe congratulations do you have a confession I feel like I probably have so many

I didn't think I didn't think of one before I came on your podcast though I have like a little one but I feel like the holidays are over so I can say this without people being absolute psychopaths over it I freaking hate Christmas oh like I kind of hate you right now I literally so apparently it's still too soon I literally don't get it I am such like Halloween is my Christmas and I get so amped over it I want the freaking decorations I want the Candy Bowl. I want six costumes. What is about Christmas? Christmas is just like so...

Hectic? First of all, Cody loves Christmas music. Yeah. So it's like before Thanksgiving, like if it's on the radio, we're listening to Christmas music. And it wasn't always like this. Okay, so a little bit sad, but my dad loved Christmas. Okay, that makes sense then. And he went all out for the holidays. And I feel like there was always an argument in my household like around christmas time there always is that's called family Christmases yeah like kill me like not looking forward to that it's like a guaranteed you're gonna hear your family fight cool cannot wait past the eggnog right so there was that and then our dog our family dog i was 18 got ran over by our neighbors and he was like 18 years old so it was

Like, on Christmas Eve. Okay, I would hate Christmas. By were you. That Christmas, we didn't celebrate. My parents put all of our presents outside of our bedroom doors and no one spoke, like, that whole Christmas. So there was that. And then, of course, my dad passed away like four years ago.

And now, and I'm like, this was the first Christmas that we have, like, a house. Yeah. And I'm, like, looking at it being, like, thinking like, he would have decked this effing house out. Like, he loved that. Yeah. But then on top of it, it's just so overrated. Like, I can get behind you with that.

Like, I like Christmas. I love the, I love the concept of it. I'm just not a, I'm not the person that's like has to change my phone background to, like, holiday lights. Like, I just don't get into it. I didn't decorate. I don't decorate my house for Christmas. I do. My mom does, and I can just count on her, so I'll just show up and enjoy her Christmas tree.

But otherwise, I don't get into it. We've all got something. That makes sense why Christmas isn't like, you're not stoked on it. My nipples are so hard again. I'm sorry. I'm like, can I touch them? Hair hurts so bad. Go on.

There's something I can do for you? Do you need some? No, just keep talking. Okay. I like full-blown, love Christmas. Decorate the house. Christmas music all the time. I decorate.

Christmas movies every day. I do it. There you go. Because it looks cute for like the gram. Yeah, of course. I see I don't even care enough about Instagram to decorate for Christmas. I'm like, I'll go to Jessica's house. And I do.

And I do. That's funny. that's a confession but also very understandable i think it's just overrated the presents thing it just kills me like and now that i'm having a family and i you can create your own little family and i do it for cody like if it wasn't for the last before cody and i were together the last two christmases i spent alone and i loved it like it was me and my dog in my apartment we had a christmas tree up it was fine and i just like chilled and there was nothing wrong with it well Tell that to the masses.

That's all the people who hate me online. You know what I was going to say if my guy, like, who is he? Where are you? Where are you? I have a good idea. If he didn't like Christmas, I would be, like, devastated. See, that's why I put on the smiley face for Cody. You do something, you know?

Yeah. It's not like you're the Scrooge. I don't. Do you guys have that, just got back from vacation and I need a vacation feeling? I always get that. Don't fret because I have the. answer. Start planning that next vacation now, so you have something to look forward to, obvious. Walt Disney World is the perfect escape, and now as an adult you can experience it an entirely new way

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Alexa isn't the only one with breaking news. Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute. Jessica Graff here from Big Brother 19 and winner of the Amazing Race season 30, but more importantly, I'm a new wife. Did she say yes though? A new stepmom, and I have a baby on the way. I have one of a little boy that was my dream since I was little. I will be sharing this journey with all of you on my new podcast with direct message and podcast one called Now What? Let's take the stress out of the conversation and just get good.

Real. Think of me as a transition coach from young adult to full-blown adult. Each show I'll be diving into the heart of newlywed life with my new husband, Cody, and you'll hear me talk about how I'm handling my pregnancy, juggling career opportunities, and everything in between, including the stresses and the struggles. So don't forget to subscribe to my new podcast with the direct message and podcast one calls Now What? With me, Jessica Graff, available on podcast one or wherever you get your podcasts. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Okay, I may have thought of a confession, and I, I don't know if it, do confessions expire?

What do you mean? That's from years ago. No, I tell confessions all the time from when I was like, like, 12. Okay, great. Yeah. I don't know all of my confessions have to do with urine. Yeah, okay. And I appreciate making the top five.

Yeah. That been a lot to me. Yeah. Honestly, I have one that, a pee confession right now that I was thinking about telling. Did you just pee my bed? No, no, no. It's safe. I'm a little sweaty.

I maybe wouldn't sleep on this side, but nothing's super weird. We're going to have the maids come when you leave. It's fine. I'm not offended. That's probably a good idea. But thinking about this current pee thing reminded me of what current pee thing? What's the current pee thing? We weren't talking.

No one was, no one was talking about pee. The thing isn't current. I think. I feel like it's not cool enough We're exciting enough to actually really dive into Right now I'm confused I just have it reminded

It reminded me of a pee thing that I That I experienced years ago And my boyfriend's looking at me with weird eyes I have this I can't Is this because R Kelly's in the news? What's going on? No

Every time Okay fine Every time I go to the bathroom Especially if it's in the middle of the night Every time I go pee I sit down on the toilet And I start to pee and I have a panic attack

that I'm not on the toilet and then I'm peeing somewhere else and apparently this is something that like happens I even told a doctor about it a couple years ago and he was like he did this thing that made me feel like

it was notable he was like hmm hmm and like jotted some stuff down like never actually addressed it just made noises and then like took notes never said anything else and then it just doesn't

maybe it's because I've peed the bed a few times that I just have the in it a pee anxiety but to make my whole what do you mean by peeve let's not like graze over this she peed the bed in the in the bb house yes full ball and you'll love this because i was sleeping with christmas that night i'm okay with this go on it's like one of the very few nights i wasn't in bed with mark and i literally peed the bed um which is cool it happens yeah but there was no it doesn't bragger so you have full control of your bladder okay whatever whatever miss i just peed for

many times in the last hour because I'm pregnant. I'm seven months pregnant, but I make it to the toilet. Actually, that's a lie. Never mind. Yeah, I was about to say, I've been in a pottery barn where you've sneezed and a little something came out, so I don't want to hear you. I think it's sweet that you're telling people I sneeze because there's no sneeze. I just peed. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no, I told a joke, she laughed. That's what it was. No, that wasn't it either. Well, whatever. You were complaining about Mark, and I peed. That's one million per someone happened. Okay. The truth comes out.

Yes. Okay, so... Now, what's the current P one? The current P thing was just, I'm kind of embarrassed that I always have a panic attack that I'm not, that I'm not peeing in the proper place. Right. But it reminded me of there was like a maybe year of my life. And I'm guesstimating the 2014 time period.

Okay. Where I literally didn't have bladder control. So I would have to go to the bathroom and it would turn into an emergency way too quickly. And if I was drinking, or something else that would kind of contribute to that was going on, 10 times worse. And so there had been times, there were times. And it was like to the point where I was seeing a doctor about it, it was not okay. Yeah.

I had gone to this, the colonial, which is like a golf tournament thing. At the time, I was there to find my husband. I didn't work because I peed myself in the parking lot. I had to go so bad. And it's like legit emergency. and it doesn't make sense But I'm I I just panic

I don't know what to do And I stood behind my trunk And you just let her go And I just had to I just peeve myself And I'm like with friends And I went out I went out

That was during the day It was and I went out The rest of the night Nuh You let it air dry I yeah, I did I did I'm not gonna pretend like

I'm not judging her right now Because I'm totally But that's what confessions are for We can't judge Because they're confessing to us. No, I can still judge. This isn't my show.

I have, Caitlin was, will not judge you. Thank you. I appreciate that. I've never told that to anyone, even the friends that I was with. And we went straight to a bar and I like, went to the bathroom and tried to like. Yeah. And I was, so what's worse is that I was in a romper. So it's like, oh, shit.

Yeah, it's, it's not even like I could. I'm not worse because if you were wearing pants, then you'd have a longer stream to dry. You could just, like, pat off the leg and then just worry about the crotch. region. I mean, I threw, I took my underwear off. I threw them away. They took the bulk of the problem. Right. And then, I'm so bothered right now. It's okay. You don't, you don't have that many friends around here. So, like, you're not leaving me. Um, I threw my underwear away and I like, I wiped up in the bathroom. But yeah, we went out the rest of the night. It happened at like two in the afternoon. I would, I feel like I would do something like that. Well, what am I? Would

you? No. Would you? No, you wouldn't. No, you wouldn't. You're a good friend. Continue lying to her. I'm going to be really honest. You know, I've lived. I have a, Mark, you're still good? Yeah, he's not breaking up with me. Well, I don't know. Great. We'll see. But, um, yeah. This is all good podcast content for you, too, because you're going to have one. I'm, yes, I'm going to have a podcast as well. Okay, tell us everything. So I haven't officially announced anything about it. I've, that's really debatable. I don't know what your definition of. official but when you like tag the name of it and say that you have a podcast coming out i've been doing

this bit for like a year and a half oh i'm gonna get a podcast i'm starting a podcast and it hasn't happened and people are like okay i think she's lying um but i finally am at the point where i'm gonna have a podcast and i haven't like officially announced where hey you can you can you can download it here subscribe yada yada blah blah blah i've just been hinting at it on my instagram stories so if you pay attention enough on my Instagram story, you'll learn easily that I have a podcast. Unfortunately, my boyfriend, Mark, didn't notice when I first hinted. But Cody noticed. Yeah, but I got a message from Jessica's husband.

He was like, oh, hey, you announced. Congrats. I literally was baiting Mark. I was like, so you've been on Instagram? Did you watch my stories? Did you see? And he, it's like, no, you're blocked. I had to feed it to him.

But I will announce officially my. podcast name is the miscellaneous podcast and do you get it guys guys do you get the joke it's it's it's funny obvious it's clever except for i don't have enough confidence in the name that literally when i do tell people i'm like you get it no no it's great you get it right it's great you get the whole thing so it is in the works so much so that it should be out within the next week or two i hope um and it's just going to be i i don't know what it's going to be i'm just going to talk microphone yeah fun funny relatable talk about what's trending talk about my relationship talk about the world oh mark are you scared yeah yeah he is but too bad um he doesn't have the microphone

i don't respect you just kidding i do um so it should be pretty fun i'll have friends on so would love for you two to join me on on an episode and all just do each other's podcasts all the time Yeah, we don't need anyone else. Just has three. I'm looking at the time and I'm like, we should get to questions from listeners because people have some questions. Kayla Smith wants to know, do Mark and Elena plan on having children? I think yes. I feel like Mark is definitely 100% wants a kid or two.

And I'm like, we'll see. I'll have one. I'm not, like I was saying earlier, I'm not like the most nurturing person instantly. I don't feel like I think a lot of people were born to be mothers like that's their purpose and goal You'll surprise yourself

I feel like I was born to be a mother But I also feel like you You don't think you are But you are a nurturing person She is Yeah Am I? Am I? Yeah

And I think if you had a kid You would surprise yourself And that's what my mom says You rubbed my belly For 20 minutes The other day on the couch That's so sweet I do and I do love

I'm getting a little teary I feel like the wine's kicking in I do like You're at the bottom of the glass I know I didn't go slow Yeah you got to catch up Caitlin I think I'll at least have one kid for sure

Because I think it You know that'd be cool to like have a little mini mini meat Something that does concern me is like the Just the mass of my boyfriend And if I and I'm thinking about procreating with whatever he's going to produce Your vagina is going to be ruined completely destroyed It's no you'll be surprised All of my friends

have babies and they all bounce back. And they all have... Have you been down there to double check? Yeah, I say, let me see your vagina. I need to know what... See, I feel like... No, I have not said, let me see your vagina. But they all have been, like, very, like, surprised at how...

And I just found out you can get Botox down there. And let's all be real here. Once you see the birth and the miracle of a child, you just let go of the little things. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Once you see Mark Sye's head coming out of your vagina. it's not the little things and you do not forget

for the people that don't know what I look like I'm like a very petite person It's like 5-1 It was just not large And even though I'm curvy I would still not consider myself large So it does terrify me But I could do the Jessica graph

And just demand a C-section You can demand a C-section? I mean I've never spoken about this publicly So I guess we're having a C-Section it's up to you confession i confess jessica's confession i apologize can't push won't push yeah no not gonna push you know what that is so up to you i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't imagine the amount of feedback you guys you're gonna get as a mom and just at the end of the day always tell

yourself it's up to you it's your body it's your baby it is my body it is my vagina and it's your choice stay in the way it is and you're still going to be a great mother yeah hell yeah judge people for pushing out one so why should they judge you for not exactly i'm sorry i don't get to experience pooping on my doctor like today like today and it's not that cool i i am so like what it didn't change my life did you poop on your doctor yes yes i've had a colonoscopy and i that the here's what i want to know we have technology to get to the moon but they can't find a better way for us to completely clear out our colon than to drink nine liters of cherry flavored gasoline. I did not finish that whole thing and yes you have to drink like the most disgusting thing

ever for like a full day to make sure you're cleared out so they can investigate up there and I was like listen it's not happening so they went up there anyways I shit on the dude and he's fine that's not the worst thing that's happened to him it's not the worst thing that's happened to me and whatever so you poop on your doctor you poop on your doctor you choose not to good for you I really like my doctor she's super cool don't want to poop on her i'm sure she's seen worse yeah that's what i tell myself every they've seen worse seen it all i get naked in front of my doctor i'm like they've probably seen worse so it's fine oh of course they have they see it all there's really no there's nothing they haven't seen yeah yeah yeah anyway taylor snook wants to know what's the biggest change jessica

has noticed in her body since being pregnant i mean minus the growth of a belly but um she said i literally went from a small B to a full D cup. Oh, girl. Welcome to my life. Yeah. I was a double D before being pregnant. I don't really know what I am now. I can't I. Why you don't know? Because you refuse to go bra shopping and find something that actually fits your, that's, that's incorrect because I've been bra shopping and I refuse to

buy the ugly, we talk, again, we talked about this yesterday. The maternity clothes, there needs to be a revolution from the panties to the bras to the pants to the tops i want a maternity revolution this like i don't rachel zo are you listening yeah like can someone just make i want to still feel sexy i want to walk into the bedroom with like some lacy ass like bras and underwear that also doesn't like hug my belly so much that I end up peeing every two seconds like I have been now and I want to still feel like my husband wants to rip off my clothes and bone me he always will I you know I yeah yeah because he's an angel but like you're the mother of his child I just want that doesn't turn you on what does

that's like the most beautiful thing you know what else I've heard I've heard that nurses will have to rip men off of their wives when they're giving labor and when they're in birth because it's like some animalistic like shit going on like it's like they find their wife so sexy when they're giving birth because they're just like like beast mode i don't believe that no look it up google it it's a thing like nurses have said i've heard that i mean there's that there's that whole pregnancy fetish thing yeah which you know you should look into that fetishes like you know i got an email today a guy asked me to sign a pair of my used high heels and send it to him i made 70 dollars last week for selling a pair of my socks there is weird stuff happening

on the internet you did not do that yes stephen small i hope you're listening you he's like she's done this your sock several time he lives in indiana a confession than your peep wait really you think so you stole you sold a pair of your socks to men in indiana yeah stephen small but this isn't the first time you've done that no for seven see see there it is there it is yeah let's not let's not act like this was once i won't because i've heard this story several times throughout different points in our friendship and I know that you've sold socks on multiple occasions and would you highly recommend it like could I really have a side hustle through this oh yeah for sure I mean it's not going to pay all your bills but and it'll contribute to your income for

sure and if and if you're diligent about it I would recommend creating a separate Instagram account where you really feature your feet and Wiki feet yeah absolutely I have a wiki feet page you have a wiki feet page no no what do you mean I think I do too bad I created. But it looks like I'm missing a toenail in mine. No, yeah. We all three have wiki feet pages. What the f*** is a wiki feet?

And why are my feet on wiki? I'm going to look this up for you right now. Yeah, it's Wikipedia for your feet. Why haven't you told me that there's people? I thought you knew. Why would I know about wiki feet? I don't know. I mean, I knew.

I'm looking this up. You're going to be, you're probably going to be really. Yeah, it's, no, there's like a whole internet phenomenon. Feet, wiki feet. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I have Instagram accounts dedicated to my feet. And the best.

the best part about it is like my feet are average i've got my second you no that's not even my foot that's a pretty foot though yeah it was pretty my my second toe looks weird yeah what's her rating 63 beautiful oh 63 out of what 25 nice nine okay three bad five ugly i i feel very conflicted two size seven yeah that's accurate that's terrifying your birthday is uh 1990 12 11 yeah yeah you got a five-star rating are there photos of it no that's the weird part they take live feed clips of us from big brother and like zoom into our feet there's been times where I've like accidentally shown my my feet on like a live Instagram and they'll take like screen grabs pictures of your feet on here okay so like bothered by this but also I want a higher rating like um 63 yeah oh no wait

It's pretty competitive. Yeah. Yeah. That's me. That's amazing race feet. Yeah. Oh. I feel really uncomfortable.

It's, you feel violated. Yeah. Yeah. I'm clenching in places that aren't my feet. Yeah. If you embrace it, then you'll. I just want to go back to like 10 minutes ago when I didn't know that this existed. I'm sorry.

I mean, at least you got a good rating. I mean, there's that one. 63 out of what? Is it 100? Oh, my God. What am I doing? Spread Eagle. I, okay.

Do you mind if I use these photos to promote this podcast? I'm going to. I honestly, I need to be a little bit more diligent about promoting my foot side hustle because I think I could make more money. I'm really intrigued by this. Like, let's put that money towards something. I should donate all my feet money to charity. Yeah, you should.

You should start like a foot charity. I'm going to start. an Instagram account tonight. I tried to sell my hair the other night on Instagram Live and donate it to charity. Some of my weave came out when I was at the bar and I after I had had so much success with my

dirty socks, I was like someone's got a one of DNA. Yeah, for sure. So I I got an, and I said whoever. She says the most, like I think I'm inappropriate, but she's gross. I come along. She's gross. Like her burping, like I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed. I'm

embarrassed if I do the littlest burp, especially in front of my husband, like, if you follow me on social media, you know that I like to, like, cork it all up. Like, he doesn't, as much as he doesn't see, he doesn't see. Like, I don't want him to think anything. I'm like pushing whoever in the bathroom after I'd unleash the poop dragon. Oh, is that what we're calling it? Yeah. Yeah. Unleashing the poop dragon. I'm so not there. And I hope I'm, I hope I'm never there. No, I want them to love every part of me and I want them to be like I know like I want them to want to sit in the room with me if I'm going to the bathroom I want them to be so comfortable with me that they're right there but also I have zero doubt in my mind that if I wanted Cody to sit on the floor and hold my

hand while I did that he would he would but I also feel like he probably appreciates that I am not that human I'm okay with it I've I'm kind of more along the lines of the more you know I mean I'll always make sure I'm super sexy and like, you know, do what I need to do and, and make sure that they're always turned on by me and like, sure, you know. Same. Oh, yeah. But I also want to be like, you have to love me for me. Yeah. Yeah, but not what's in. Yeah. What's inside of you, but like, the stuff that stays inside. I don't know. I'm just not on that. I'm just, I can't get behind it. Like, don't get me wrong. I love a good poop joke. I love all of that stuff. Like, like a good poop joke when it does not have anything to do with you if it's somebody else's poop you can laugh yeah if it was

my poop hilarious no i'm so grossed out by your poop well okay i feel like you don't love me for me then i thought i thought we were closer than this like when she burps i'm just bought i look at mark to see like if he's judging is he are you it's a lot he says it's a lot do you do okay is there a small percentage of you, Mark, that feels like you could do without it. Yeah. But she puts up with a lot, so I have no room to complain.

See? He literally will be walking in front of me in, like, the grocery store and I'm just, you know, distracted by my phone, doing whatever. And he cropped up to you? No, it's not a crop dust. He wants to make sure I know. Oh. He stops, squats, rips ass so loud that, like,

Isle 11 is like, the fuck. And you're an aisle one. And yeah, and then I'm, I'm walking, like, straight into it face forward, and he has no, he has no shame. So the fact that I do belch and it's not a belt, but could you do without Mark's bodily functions? Of course I could do without them, but with them, I still love him. Oh. You're all gross. That's so romantic. I actually find it hot one guy's fart in front of me because, wait, what?

Yeah. And may I ask a follow-up question? Has Jason farted in front of? you you guys have kept trying to slip in the jason talk in here and i'm like all right and it's about time to wrap it up they haven't kissed yet but he's totally giving her pink guy once or twice i have slipped on his fart pillow um i think it's hot because i think it's like i like wouldn't do like you're manly yeah i'm like if you're like confident and you just like rip a fart like don't do too much hair gel for me to feel like he's gonna rip a fart right in front of you

pretty why are we talking like me and him are dating because are you because this is reality because you are and we want to hear the confirmation well there's no confirmation so but can i how long does he take to do his hair in the morning i'm not sure yet yes in the morning i'm not sure yet so can you get back to me on that because i'm genuinely curious like i want to know how he styles his hair he needs to make like a youtube video i want to know how much hair gel he uses i want to know he uses a lot of hair gel okay and i want to know what i want to know what brand i also like kind of want to touch it what brand what brand is it um got to be oh okay okay okay so he's generic about it

yeah he's super he's like drugstore about it yeah okay can we just ask do you have feelings for him well yeah of course there's some sort of feelings going on there I said is it soft and you are their feelings I wouldn't be yeah go ahead and judge me for being my pants

I love how this interview has got turned right around on me well I just I need to know. I think it's clear to people on social media. That there is some clear. There's edit soft. That it is soft. That his hair is hard. And is it hard though?

What are we talking about? Even Mark's laughing. Yes, I got a laugh out of Mark this whole thousand. That was my goal this whole time. One hour. He's a tough tough crowd over there. I tell so many jokes at home and he doesn't think I'm funny. And I'm hilarious.

How about I just keep you guys posted because can you answer the hair question because like I don't want to be the person that when I meet him I just like instantly touch his hair but I will if I don't have answers when I did a podcast with him I it looked like it was quite crunchy okay okay okay so you think that if he were on top it would stay I feel like I feel like yes I know I know enough about hair gel that I think that it would yeah I also where your head goes yeah so he would look the same before and after probably he wouldn't have

sex hair whatever he's a virgin of course we both both of us are I would love you for you to date him because then he's from Buffalo and Mark's from Buffalo and then they could both talk about chicken wings and snow or whatever people from Buffalo talk about well I think my

main thing I'll say is that we'll just have to see what happens we'll see stay tuned stay diplomatic of you how boring of you Well, because I don't know. And I don't want to say anything that people are going to be like, you said it. No, let's ruin the relationship before it even starts.

I know so many people on Twitter are like, God, you have a lot of pressure on this date coming up. I mean, don't feel the pressure. But we can let the record state that there is interest from both parties and there is a date happening. He's calling me right now. Oh, my God. Put him on the podcast. Answer it.

I love his name in your phone. Wait, don't say anything crazy. You're on the podcast. Jason, hi. My name's Elena. I want you to be first. with my boyfriend. He's from Buffalo. You guys both like chicken wings.

And I just want to know if your hair moves during sex. Are we on the podcast? Yeah, you're on. Does your hair move during sex? How much hair gel? I don't want to know if his hair moved during sex. I want to know, Caitlin. It's not all about you.

Don't ruin it for her. I don't want to know. She doesn't want to know yet. Yeah, because then that means I have to picture it. Anyways. They're just grilling me over here And then you called in the middle of it So

Wow How appropriate? Thank you for that You're me being friends with Mark Wait what? What? So maybe we should just be Get back to me being friends with a buffalo boy

Mark, right? Yeah He's okay Yeah he's good Oh yeah you guys need to be friends Yeah But the best thing about Mark Is that he comes with me

Not as much gel as you would imagine Okay How long? How long does it take you to do your hair? And can we have a video of it? To do your hair? Can you do a YouTube tutorial? How long?

Less than 30 seconds. Really? So it's just kind of like a rub on the palm and like breeze it through the hair? You got it. You know it. Okay. Now is it crunchy when you touch it or is it like soft? Oh, it's soft.

Oh. He's lying. I don't know about that. It can withstand, you don't know about that? It's a little hard. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, geez.

It's harder than you expect. Am I making you uncomfortable? No, not at all. We're just talking about my hair, right? Yeah, we're just, oh, yeah, totally. And penises. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, we're just wrapping up the pot over here.

I'll call you back, okay? All right, you guys have a good one. Serenia. Yep, can't wait. Mark, can you wait? I can't wait. He can't wait either. No one can wait.

I'll see you again. Okay, bye. Doesn't he just sound nice voice? It's nice. Yeah. Good for you. Thanks. I always look for the nice voices.

Don't we? Don't we all? Yeah. I don't know. I thought voice was code for something. Never mind. Oh, I don't know. You're going to fill me in on that.

later anyways um do you guys have a joke for me am i supposed to have a joke yeah is that a new thing we're doing i usually tell the joke oh you do i'm not a material right now should we google it really quick um i just got really flustered by feeling nervous on your behalf oh really yeah i'm like why i don't know i don't know i just it there was like flirt heavy flirting oh was there but like forcing us to for you to i don't know oh no don't feel okay it's maybe i'm just sweating for some other reason. I think you're just wearing a lot of clothing. I am to hide my bullfrog neck.

Shit, I root it. Could you be wearing any more clothes? There it is. Close. Joey and Chandler. Hey, what do you call friends who love math? Um, I don't know. Algebra's.

Oh, they're nerds. Losers. Why did the two fours skip lunch? Because 7-8-9? Well, that's actually a really great try, but no. No, okay. That would be the worst. No, because eight, because they already ate.

They already are eight. They already eight. Yeah. What did the hungry clock do? Oh, it, I don't know, but I've read this recently. Come on, Brain don't fail me. What did the hungry clock do? It went back for seconds.

That's cute. Yeah, that's cute, right? I would like to know if what we think people should take. away from this podcast i don't i don't know to download now what and miscellaneous yeah yes to download the new podcast to be looking out for new episodes to rate and review mine yeah um subscribe subscribe and follow all of us on on the instagram yeah what is it now what from podcast one same as yours and uh apple podcast yeah uh search for it's now what with jesska graph subscribe subscribe subscribe And if you really love me, rate and review.

And our Instagram handle is Now What Show. Now What Show? Yeah. And I'm the Jessica Graff on Instagram. I am Elena Davies on Instagram. I am Miscellaneous Podcast on Instagram. And I'm the miscellaneous podcast, hopefully very soon when Apple approves me. Yeah.

And, yeah. Just don't troll. Troll me on Twitter. Don't troll me on my podcast comments. Thank you. If you're going to take away. Anything from this podcast, I think it's that doctors have been shit on before, and it's fine. Doctors have been shit on.

Yeah. Caitlin likes Jason. And I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.com, the podcast one app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV? Sponsors for this week's Off the Vine. or Walt Disney, plan your next magical getaway today.

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