Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Bri McNees | Love is Blind REUNION, Calling Off Her Engagement, & Reflecting Now That It’s All Over!

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

#927. Bri McNees opens up about everything that went down on Love Is Blind Season 10!Bri sets the record straight about why she called off her engagement to Connor — and where they actually stand today. She shares what really happened when she visited Connor’s house, the infamous dress test, what went down behind the scenes after they called it off, and whether the Love Is Blind experiment simply moves too fast to figure out real compatibility.She also gets real about the “villain edit,” the backlash she received online, and the pressure of not being portrayed as a “girl’s girl.”Plus, Bri dives into the Love Is Blind reunion drama — watching the season back, the Devonta-Brittany situation, clearing the air with Jessica, Amber walking off stage, Chris’ drunken outburst, and how she feels now that everything has finally aired.Tune in now to hear Bri break down everything that went down at the Love Is Blind reunion — and what really happened behind the scenes!If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these AMAZING deals!Merit: Right now, Merit Beauty is offering off the vine listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at MERITbeauty.com.ASPCA Pet Insurance: To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/VINE.Chewy: Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewpanions.chewy.com/offthevinepodcastPaka: To grab your PAKA hoodie, go to www.PAKAAPPAREL.com. Apartments.com: The Place to find a place!Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (4:25) Bri sets the record straight about calling off her engagement to Connor, “NOT a breakup.”(9:57) Bri gets real about the moment she decided to call off her engagement with Connor, “I can marry him later.”(28:25) The hardest part of the Love is Blind Reunion, “He transformed me.”(58:55) How she feels now that it’s all over, “Netflix wrote our first chapter, now it’s time to write our own.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Ontario, come on down to BetMGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. Don't miss out. Play exciting casino games based on the iconic game show. Only at BetMGM. Access to the Price is right fortune pick is only available at BetMGM Casino. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Merritt. Right now Merritt Beauty is offering Off the Vine listeners their signature makeup bag with your first order at M-E-R-I-T-Beauty.com. ASP-C-A-Pet Insurance. To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPet Insurance.com slash vine. Chewy, Chewy has everything that you need to keep your pet happy and healthy, and right now you can save $20 on your first order, and get free shipping by going to chewpanions.chewy.com slash.

Off the Vine podcast. Paca, to grab your Paca hoodie, go to www.pacca apparel.com. That's www. P-A-K-A-A-Aparall.com. Apartments.com, the place to find a place. And Progressive. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. You're listening to Off the Vine with with Caitlin Bristow. Hey, Vino's, real quick, if you are listening right now, which obviously you are, you wouldn't be hearing this, can you hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're on. Please, that one simple thing helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast and making these episodes the best they can possibly be obviously for you. That's the only favorite I'm going to ever ask, okay? It truly means the world

to me. Thank you. Now let's get into it. Hey everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and today we get to deep dive into The Love is Blind, well, the whole show, but also the reunion. And we have the one and only breezy McNeeseysies. What is it? What do people call her breezy? People call her breezy. Bree McNey is on the podcast today. She went through the pods, got engaged to Connor, had one of the most talked about relationships of the season. Ultimately, they called off their engagement. I think a lot of people saw that as a breakup. And you're going to find out on this podcast, unless you've already seen the reunion, if they are still together, if they made their way back to each other, if it never ended, or if it's

dunzo. So today we're getting into all of it, the pods, Connor relationship, the Chris and Jessica dynamic, the stuff the audience didn't see. What actually is. actually happened after filming. And of course, the reunion and all the awkward moments that came with it. But some pretty major updates from Bree. So enjoy our conversation. How are you? Girl, I'm hanging on by thread. Okay, tell me why. I mean, obviously I know certain reasons why, but like what's the hardest thing for you right now? You know, I feel like you can only prepare yourself so much for these moments. Like, I'm like, okay, I get it. Like, everything's going to be played back. But how brutal, like, people are for just being me.

I know. Like I wasn't perfect, you know, right? Like we all watched things back and we're like, wow, I wish I would have said that differently. Or I wish I wouldn't have had that conversation. But I'm like, I was so proud of how I showed up so authentically me. And I was like, I did the damn thing. Yeah. Like they said, hey, you go on this show and you're looking for a husband. And I was like, I'm going to weed them out. Yeah. I'm going to find my man's. And so I think I poured my heart and soul into that experiment. And I continue to pour my heart and soul into this experiment. And, And it's like, it's so draining and to see people have any sort of feedback. I'm like, you have no idea. Why? And I have to often ask this myself, do you care? I know. It's hard. I care too much a lot of the times. But I always ask myself, why? Because then I'm like, like, okay, say somebody, what's the worst thing someone said to you? I'm sure it's really bad. But what is like, what are the worst? Oh my gosh. I mean, like, it's every, I don't know about the worst things. I mean, it's just like it's, it's about my looks. It's about my personality. It's about like my faith. Like, it's attacking quite everything about my identity.

Yeah. So it's not even like, you know, you think you're going to get roasted for how you look, but I'm like, oh, no, they're attacking like my character. Yeah. And I think that's the hardest part is because I've spent the last decade pouring myself into myself to get to where I am to even get on the show and then people saying that that's not enough. And I'm like, man, that hurts, you know? It does hurt.

I will never take that away from anyone because I experience it all the time. And there are times where I'm like, wow, that really hurt. And then there are other times where I think it's so funny. See, I mean, more this attitude. You'll get there. It's taken a lot of time. But like it really does. It just depends.

But if you ever just where I try and look through the lens of now is I feel so sad for them. Yeah. And nobody wants to be pitied. Yeah. So it's a little petty of me because I'm like, oh. You're like, you can't have to. You're like, so sad. But it really is like those people are hurting so badly.

And like love is blind is the easiest. place to go take it out on anyone. Yeah. You didn't even, like, you weren't even a villain. And people are like, girl, they're calling me the villain edit. I'm like, oh. Well, at least they're saying it's an edit. That's, I'm like, okay, I guess I'm a villain.

Like, the best. Never have ever. People watch now TV. Now they know there's editing, which is always a bonus because you're like, I mean, yeah, I could have said something here, but maybe I did. And maybe they edited that out so that it looked like I was entertaining this more. Well, let's get into all of it. So I feel like you and Connor had.

one of the most talked about relationships. Sorry, you have so much dog hair. It's okay. I'm like, it's okay. We love them. They're so cute. Story of my life. I'm going to collect it forever. And when they're gone, I'm going to sniff it. Okay. What? Um, you and Connor had one of the most talked about relationships this season. You got engaged in the pods. Yep. Things seemed really, really strong for a while. And then you ultimately called off the wedding right before the altar. Now, I messaged you and I told you that I thought that was actually a really healthy conversation. Yeah. Did people not think that was a healthy conversation? Correct. I feel like people read it as a breakup. And it's so interesting because Connor and I, our strongest suit is our

communication. I mean, that's the foundation that you create in the pods, right? Yeah. So whenever anything came up in the experiment, it was always like, go talk to Connor about it. Don't talk to the producers. Don't talk to the girls. Go talk to your man. Yeah. Figure it out. This is what we're doing. Like, this is what it's all about. And so Connor and I, I mean, sometimes it hurts to say. Sometimes it hurts to hear and receive too. We were so brutally honest with each other because we're like, we're doing this. Like we're,

if we're going to commit to this and ending in a marriage, I'm taking every single second with him seriously. How dare you? I know. How dare you take it seriously? Oh, normal people get married in seven weeks. I'm like, you guys have to understand

the pressure that's in there. And so, you know, it's those moments that we were like, the week leading up to the weddings were like, let's talk about it. And it was really hard for me to have the conversation is, is it a yes or a no? And so the conversation that kind of wraps our story in the show is a week after we've had that conversation. So, you know, it's like we were at peace with it. We had kind of understood what we were going to do and move forward. So it wasn't a breakup.

No. And that's why I'm like, we, this is banana. I'm not kidding, the very next day. We came here. We were in Nashville for the weekend. We were like, let's take a road trip. Let's get out. and we, I had to go back and like actually watch the videos on my phone to be like, were we happy. Like I was being like gaslit. Yeah. I was like, we didn't break up. Like we were happy.

We were excited to lead. The internet will gaslight you. Let me tell you that. That's why you can't look into it. My gosh. That's the thing. People, yes, it's a reality show. They think of you as characters, not humans.

Yes. But the, the reality part of it is that people are watching. It's so complicated because they know like I'm watching an edited TV show. but I am watching real people do real things, have real feelings. But then they don't understand the realness of the pressure cooker that you are in to figure out. And they also don't realize. And maybe some people do.

Maybe some people don't that you're actually getting married. Like there would be divorce lawyers involved. You have to do pre-ups. You have to do all of that. It's a real marriage. Yeah. It is. And I think the realism of all that, too, it's all the things leading up to it.

I mean, I am a daddy's girl. And so to think that I'm going to have my dad, give my hand away in marriage for me to say no. I'm like, yeah, right. I'm not doing that. And so out of respect for Connor and myself, I was like, I would never put you through some sort of rejection like that if I ever wanted a future with you.

That's not fair. Well, because even though you're going on the show to find a husband and the ultimate goal is to get married, nobody's putting a gun to your head saying you have to say yes. That is part of the format of the show. You get to say yes or no. It's not like you went on the show for the wrong reason. if you didn't get married, you're really taking it probably the most serious out of a lot of the couples.

Yeah. So was there anything that we didn't see watching about you guys that you were like, oh, I wish they showed this? All the beautiful parts. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's just like I think what was so disappointing is like, I think you see the beauty of our connection in the pods. And I don't know if I'm getting emotional, but.

It's okay if you do. I mean, he picked me up in ways that was like I never knew I needed. And it was incredible. And the way that I got him out of his shell too and built this confidence around him in ORA. And that is our beautiful love story. Yeah. It's so hard. And it's hard.

Well, because you do really get shown these hard parts in the bad and there's so much good. But then you're like, were there good? Like you said, you feel gaslit into like, what is our love story? Because here's how it played out. But what was it actually? Totally. And the most important parts are like that foundation that you're talking about. that was built that people don't get to see necessarily.

Absolutely. And I know people say to me all the time, like, get all right, I was 10 years ago, but I bring up my past relationship so often, but I do it to relate to you, not to make it about me. But that was one of the hardest parts for Sean and I went, we got engaged on the show and then watching it back.

It was the Nick Vile and Sean Booth drama show. It was the nastiness. It was this. And I was like, and everyone was like, he's so jealous and insecure. And then Nick's this. And I'm like, wow. where was the love story?

Because I had the most beautiful love story that I was like, I can't wait to watch this back. People are going to be like, this is the most beautiful thing we've seen on The Bachelor. Yeah. And then I watch back and I go, oh, right, TV loves drama. Correct. No, you literally have articulated things perfectly for me because the Chris situation, Lord have mercy on my soul. Do you think I ever, do you think I looked at that man in Cabo and said, ooh, baby, I f***ed up?

No. I'm like, in what world do you think I was like even thinking about? him in the way that it was my whole story. I promise you. This energy wasted on him that distracted from my love story is the saddest part. I agree with you. And we're going to get to that. I have to say that.

And that man's name again. I'm like, we can just call him something else. Yeah. Let's call him doink stick. Doing stick. I'm going to call him doing stick. Love it.

But let's go back to the moment that you didn't break up, but you called off the wedding. Yeah. Did you know truly in your heart in that moment where you like, I'm not going to marry him? or did you think I could marry him later? Oh, I could marry him later. Okay. Girl, when I tell you, too, like, you're a girl.

Like, my, I keep saying this. I'm glad they caught some of this, but I'm saying I'm not my best self. That was so real. What's crazy is I'm like, I have shingles, like, all down my back. I am like feeling the ugliest I've ever felt. I'm so drained. I'm like, and I'm going to walk down the aisle.

I'm like, I'm like, no. Like, this is not how I dreamed in my wedding. And so it was very much about us. You know what I'm saying? It was like, we are just not. ready right now. And I don't know. It's tough because like, yeah, the whole point in the experiment is to like push it to the end and make the decision at the altar. But I was like, I see a future with this person. Yeah. And that's why we're having this honest dialogue to be like, let's go do the damn thing

outside of here. And it's been beautiful, you know? Yeah. I mean, we get to talk about the reunion too because I got to watch that. But do you think Connor knew before that conversation how you were feeling? Because I know there's, oh yeah. Okay. It's such an interesting concept that you guys get time off camera. Yeah. Which is so confusing because like on batch in bachelor world, you do not spend a second with anyone unless a camera is there because they are so worried that a storyline flips or something changes and that they didn't catch it.

So there's so many times that you guys have time that you're spending and conversations you're having. Totally. Off camera. So then we're like, well, where'd that come from? And then never you guys came from the last week of our conversation that you didn't get to see. So he knew that conversation.

Yeah. So we kind of had, it was going into the wedding. dress try on. And I just knew in my head, I was like, I'm either going to go and I'm going to try on this dress and I'm like, this is it. This is the sign, right? Or I'm going to go and try in this dress. And I just don't feel it. I don't feel right doing this. Yeah. And I was with Conner's mom and my mom and my mom and connor's mom. And it just wasn't it. I mean, you get two dresses to try on. I was like, okay. Like, you get two. And like, I get to pull off a rack. Like, you know, And it's not about, I get it.

It's not about that. It shouldn't matter all this stuff. Well, still, that's part of the magic. Correct. And if it's a man, like, I am so in love with, I want this to be my fairy tale. And like, even Christine, like, she's there with her fairy tale man, too. And she's like, none of these dresses work. Yeah.

I need to go try on other dresses. And I tried on dresses outside of that day, too. Like, I didn't pick any of the dresses there because I was like, this doesn't feel right. So I say all of this because when I came back, Connor had tried on his tuxes or his tux. And that day was like, we're going to evaluate. And I was like, I just, I didn't get it. I didn't get that like gut punch. Oh my God.

I put on the dress and it's time. Yeah. And that's a thing, by the way. All my girlfriends who've gotten married, like, they're like, you just know what you put on the right wedding dress. You have this feeling and it gets emotional and you go, this is happening and you feel so excited. Like, it shouldn't feel anything but that.

Correct. And especially, I would hope no one would force that just to do it for the TV show. And you know what? And that's- People do. Yeah. And so that's why I think there's such a realism to our story that frustrates me because I'm like, the connection was so genuine. It's so authentic.

Our reveal was like hysterical. You're like, it was just like chaotic and energetic all together. And like we just lost kind of all that energy that we got to see in the first part because it's like all drama now. And, you know, and so that's where I have like the realism of it is probably the hardest part not to see back. Yeah, I know. I always wonder if like that's, where is that footage, you know?

I would love to see it one day. I always think about that with, well, reality TV that I've been on. But I'm like, where at the happy times? Can I see those, please? Blupers or something. Yeah. Oh, they don't do bloopers on Love is blind. I don't think so.

Oh, they should. I know. I know. I know. Meanwhile, they're like unseen footage and you're like, what is this? It's like another serious like my pants. God. Could you imagine being doinkstick sitting there just knowing all the shit that's coming

his way? No. Not me evil laughing into it. Okay, I feel like there's like 10 versions of me, but we're going to go with two versions for this sake. For the sake of time, too. Red carpet glam full on for me. That's one version.

And then second version, I have seven minutes and we're leaving. And honestly, seven minute me kind of wins most days. My girlfriend Kat always tells me I'm the queen of turning the beat around when I have like literally seven minutes to get ready. But that is why I love Merritt Beauty. Merritt is all about that minimalist elevated look. Like you tried, but not too hard. And their products are designed to be swipe on, blend with your fingers, and go.

No complicated steps, no layering, 10 different things. I am obsessed with the minimalist because it basically replaces both foundation and concealer. And it gives you natural coverage without feeling heavy. And the flush bomb, I love it. It gives you that healthy, fresh glow like you just got back from a little walk, not like you spent an hour contouring. And on days when I don't even want to wear makeup, their great skin serum gives you that hydrated,

dewy look all on its own. So everything is clean, vegan, cruelty-free, and made with nourishing ingredients so your skin looks, dare I say, better after you take it off. Right now, Merritt Beauty is offering off-the-vine listeners their signature makeup bag with your first order at Meritbeautcom. That's M-E-R-I-T, beauty.com to get your free signature makeup bag with your first order. Meritbeautcom. All right, you know me. You know Ramen and Pino are my whole world. They're not just my dogs. They're my babies. They're my children. They're my little best friend. and they have full personalities, strong opinions, and somehow I really feel like they were on my house.

I would literally do anything for them, as I think most pet parents would. And when you love your pets that much, you just want to know they're prepared for whatever life throws at them. So a quick message from today's sponsor, the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program, life with a pet, as we know, is full of surprises.

Sometimes it's something small. Sometimes it's an unexpected trip to the vet. And those bills, oh my gosh, I know you know this. they can add up so fast. But that's why ASPCA pet health insurance is worth checking out. Their customizable accident and illness plans help you manage unexpected vet costs so you can focus on getting your dog or cat, the care that they need when they need it. So when you enroll in the ASPCA pet health insurance plan, you could get a $25 Amazon gift card,

which is a nice little bonus while you're doing something great for your little pet. So to explore coverage, visit ASPCA pet insurance.com slash vine. that's ASPCA petinsurance.com slash vine. Eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPCA pet insurance.com slash Amazon terms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited.

The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. A lot of viewers felt like the moment that you, visited Conner's house was when things started shifting for you. Not necessarily because of the house itself, but more because it raised bigger questions for you, which I think is understandable about lifestyle and compatibility. Yeah. I was so right there with you. I, there is something to me, I think because, well, one, I'm a 40-year-old woman with my own house and I like love, I love house decor. I have the saying that how you do anything is how you do everything. Yes. And I think it just says a lot about how people show up in the world. So if a guy has a freaking keg and a Christmas tree,

in whatever month of March or whatever it was, I would be like, bro, you good? Like, I don't want to marry a frat boy. Yes. No, you're putting the words right into my mouth too. And it's something about how you're raised. Like it goes back to my dad. That don't make the bad people. Your house and your car is a representation of you.

So take care of your things because, you know, you worked hard for him. And like that was where I was coming from. And he's such a tight. I call him my type B king. I'm like, he's so tight B and I'm so tight. Wait, your dad or Connor? No, not my dad. Connor is my type B king.

Like he's just like, that's how he is. Like he, you know, and you grow to love those things about him. So in that moment, I'm so like, uh, like is, am I being punked? Like I was like, this is quite literally my worst nightmare because I am so like, oh my gosh, everything has to have its place. And I'm so type A. And then I walk into that. And he had warned me.

He's like, Brie, he's like, you're going to like die at my house. He also knew he was going to be if he got. to that point bringing someone home. So I'm like, tank down the tree. Do yourself a solid. I don't even know if it was shown on the show, but he's like, I was thinking we could do that together. I'm like, oh, right. He didn't say that. And I was like, I was like, good save, but no. Wait, now I have a question for my assistant. Am I type A or type B? B to the max? Okay. What? Yeah, so I would say I'm definitely a type B to the max. But would you have a

keg in your backyard. But I'm type A when it comes to my house, I would say. Like I'm particular about my house. Like I need my bed to be made. Yeah. But yeah, I guess type A isn't. Yeah. So you're like a good mix.

I'm a type B. I'm your type B queen. There you go. My type B queen. Yeah. I love that. That's, but I like that those two,

like type A and type B can work. Yes. No, it totally can. And I, you know, there's such a levity to that whole scene. I mean,

we're like, we're like going back and forth banter. And it's like, we're laughing about it. And like, I know. I thought that was kind of cute. And everyone's like,

she's so mean. I'm like literally watching this back to like we're cackling watching the scene like I don't know the way that's what I'm saying like the spinsters in the world I'm like we could not wait to watch that scene so we thought it was so funny right and then everyone spins it into you being like okay this is what I hate in reality shows when they go team Connor I'm team Connor um you guys are on a team together so be team both of you guys team Bronner get it trending I like that get it trending get it trending I just feel like that moment was so misunderstood. Yes.

But yeah, they felt like you were being hard on him, called you snobby and critical. And I was like, the man has a keg and a Christmas tree. Yeah, the standards weren't that like out of control. I would be like, what the fuck was that about? And you've, you handled it so well because you guys made light of it. Yeah. I don't know why the internet is so angry. I do.

My other reason for this is the world is so scary right now. Yeah. There's so many scary things that us being mad at you on reality. TV feels like so much safer and like more comforting to take it out on somebody who's on reality TV than to like dive into what's actually going. Yeah. I think that's true. And I think that's why online bullying is only getting worse. I mean, it's been bad for 10 years. And you just need to know that these people are, they're criticizing a edited version of a fraction of who you are, a one dimensional person of who you are when there's so much more to you. And now the beauty of it is people are going to

so you guys succeed. Yeah. And they're going to root for you and people are going to turn and then those haters go away and they might be like still there, but that means you're still relevant. Yeah. Yeah. It's silly. It's an interesting way to like twist it to you and like a mindset shift because you're like,

it's this distorted reality for me watching it back because I'm like, man, like I've had the most fantastic year of my life. Like, you know, it's so magical. We've grown so much. This is so transformative. And then it's like, oh my gosh, these people are just criticizing it. And it's like, you have. have a fraction.

Like you said, a fraction of the story. Don't let them put a crack in your solid foundation. Yeah. Because that would be doing you and Connor a disservice. And that would, letting the outside noise, I've done it.

And it really, I truly think that's a big part of the reason Sean and I never worked out as a couple after it because he let the noise of what his ego look like on TV. Yeah. Take over our love story. Yeah. And it's, you can't do that.

Yeah. Don't do it. No. I'm like, I know. I'll punch you right in the tit if you do it. I really will. You can't do it. It's just the feedback. I know when you hear it like what goes through your mind is probably like, you don't even know or you don't see, but that's just got to be what you

keep believing. They don't know. Yeah. So what they don't know, they can't, you know, on to the next. Connor later said in interviews that he actually would have said yes at the altar. When you heard that, what was your reaction? I mean, I known that. So I wasn't like seeing it for the first time. That was very much a part of our conversations before. I am like a psychology major. I psychoan, everything. And that is me to a T. So I am very analytical. And so when I think about this situation, I know Connor and I to our core. And Connor leaves with his heart. So that's not shocking. Connor's like, I'll marry you. I'm all in. This is great. I'm having fun. Like, Bob, I'm like, how are you ready to marry me? Are you crazy? Yeah. You know, because I'm analytical. I'm like,

there's so many things we got to do before. Was he fairly shocked that he was like that? Or were they like, that's so Connor to go in. And like, my family was like, that's so great. So like. How dare you? you stay droid to yourselves. Yeah. Imagine. We didn't let a show change us. What a novel idea. So I wasn't shocked, right?

Like, we were like, this checks. Like, of course you would be all in with like, you lead with your heart. I lead with my head. And, you know, it's interesting now to see the shift. Yeah. And like how things soften and how you change like after those experiences. Because what we also aren't talking about is the transformation you go on as an individual. Right?

And so, like, there's this journey that you're going on with this person. But I mean, when I look at that scene of me, me sitting in the kitchen and I'm saying all these things, I'm looking at a woman that doesn't even know how to feel loved, you know? And I don't even know how to receive him. And there was moments where we would have these really intense conversations in Cabo and he would say something and I would just be silent. And he's like, why are you silent? And I was like, I don't know how to even receive what you're saying. Like I can't tell this is helping or hurting or like, I don't know. And so just to have someone show up for me and receive them, you know, to have someone be like,

absolutely I'm ready to marry you. I choose you. Ten toes down. I'm like, ah, like, you know. And it took a lot for me to just like accept that love and process and be like, wow, he chooses me. Well, and I don't want this to come across in a mean way because it's exactly how I am. I have a lot of masculine energy. Yeah.

Absolutely. And it's very hard to soften me, especially when I've been douched by so many douchebags. So when you find a real one that you're like, I've been hard on maybe someone, maybe a few people, I'm not talking about my dating life. But it's been really nice, a nice season for me to really soften into something that makes me feel safe. Yep. And it takes work. It does. And that's exactly the shift that I feel that Connor brought into my life is like actually going into that feminine energy.

Yeah. And I mean, you know, we all have a story and there's a reason why I am the way I am with my masculine energy and the big chip on my shoulder. And like, that's what's so incredible about watching it back, though, is you see him just chisel, chisel, chisel, chisel away at me. And I'm letting him. Yeah. Like, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I feel so safe and secure and just like unravel me. Yeah. And again, that's the part that I wish people could just see.

Well, they can hear about it here. Yeah. Off the Vine. Off the Vine is the new after show of the show. I like this. This is like Breezy Tales All. I know. It's my version.

It's nice because it does get to be your version. Yeah. It's nice because you get to talk about the moments that weren't seen. We all saw the moments. Yeah. Now we get to hear about the ones that you wish we saw. Yeah. I think it's really cool.

No, we definitely like, I was saying after that conversation, we like went to Jeff Ruby's had this amazing steak dinner and then got in the car and came to Nashville. And we have the most beautiful like footage of that weekend and like I videoed us like in the car. And I was like, I can't wait. I mean, I have to wait, you know. So I'm like, I'm like, I'm waiting. But I'm like there's just, that's why I felt gaslit. I was like, I wasn't heartbring.

He wasn't heartbroken. We were happy. And we had this like great evening. Yeah. So why are we picking teams, guys? Yeah. I'm like, so, but it reads as a breakup or people are just confused. Yeah.

People are like, so where were you at the weddings? And I was like, oh, you didn't get that? We were leaving. Right. We said we're out of here. But I guess it didn't translate. Yeah, people weren't picking up what you were putting down. Looking back now, do you think the experiment moves too fast for people to actually figure out

real compatibility? Okay. Yes and no. I'm going to say yes because it pushes you. And I appreciated that because it does for a lot of the different personalities in the experiment too. Like Connor need to be pushed. I need to be pushed for different reasons.

So I appreciate the acceleration. But I do think there were moments where I had to gain control a little bit. Yeah. And it was moments that mattered to me. And so I was willing to lean in as far as I wanted to until I was like, I feel like this is too much. And specifically meeting my dad and like asking for permission. They're like, well, one weekend, time to meet dad.

I said, to hell he is. That's crazy. Not today. I'm just like, we're not there. Like, I trust in this man. I need to keep building confidence. Let's meet friends. Like, think about that in a normal setting.

You go. Usually your man meets your friends first. You build a little confidence. It's like time to meet the parents. It's, they wanted the timeline so we could stay on schedule for the weddings. But I was like, I'm not ready. So we're not doing this right now. And again, I love that because I feel like you, when people,

People take things seriously. It doesn't necessarily add up with the TV show format. And then so people get upset. But really that just shows you guys weren't like, let's get more camera time and let's like make it to the end. And let's give the people what they want, you know? And like doing that in an intimate setting that felt right too. Like I'm from Michigan.

So it was a little bit of a travel. And I knew that it would be comfortable for everybody involved if we did it on like my home turf. Like removing my dad from his ecosystem, bringing him, having the cameras on, asking for permission to marry me. My dad would be like, what? going on. Like, I don't even know what the show is, you know?

And so meeting everyone where they needed to be met at, like, I just, because it's real. Both my dads were like, yeah, sure. Bigger. My dad showed, my stepdad showed up like, what's the guy from Meet the Fuckers? Like the hilarious dad with the Hawaiian shirt. Like, he was just like in it for the free martinis and was like, whatever Caleb wants. Like, it was so funny.

But I understand both sides of that, you know, especially you be in Taipei. Yeah. That's my parents were like classic Caitlin. She would get engaged on TV, sure. Yeah. Why not? Obviously we have to talk about the reunion. Yeah.

Because you guys finally got to be like, no, we're still at love and we're so happy. And like, this guy's everything to me and blah, blah, blah. And he, I watched him go from somebody that seemed because he loved you so much that he was almost insecure. And because you were like, I don't know, I had another connection and blah, blah, blah. And you seemed a little unsure, but you were just trying to like process out loud. Yeah. But then I just, you know, when you guys went on the girl trip,

he's on, I thought it was a girl's trip. I don't know. He just, like, he just relaxed into your relationship, into who he is. Yeah. And I saw such a confident Connor in the, at the reunion, which was so nice. That makes my heart so happy just to like, because I live it every day. And I, again, I'm, I cyclical analyze a lot of things. So it's like, I look at my transformation.

I look at him. And I'm like, he has transformed into this amazing, confident, like, has some swag. Like, it's all the things that I was like, I was like, I wanted in a man and this man is like literally it, you know? And so I love that you saw that. I did. And I'm excited to watch the reunion and see that too. I know. I was lucky to get a screener. Can we like go sneak into your bedroom watches? They specifically told me, do not show anyone. No, they said anyone. Even when Kelly walked in, I was watching. I was like, no, no, no, no. You can't say this. I don't want to get in trouble. I'm very scared of certain people. No, you don't want to go to jail. No, I don't want to go to jail.

So it's, it's just so funny now to hear, okay, yeah, you didn't break up. You always stayed together. People thought you found your way back to it. They other. No, you've been together the whole time. You're in love. You're happy. Yeah. See, these are all the questions that you kind of ask. Like, what, how did it happen? But we know. It was Jeff Ruby. Shout out to Jeff Ruby's. My favorite steakhouse in Nashville. Okay. Wait, they have one in Nashville. Yeah. Oh, oh, where were you? Well, it's based out of Cincinnati originally. So it's like, and they have one in Columbus and stuff too. But I didn't know they happen. My friend is Jeff Ruby's, um, granddaughter. And she always hooks it up for me. And I go there at Christmas Eve, every Christmas Eve. Oh, that's a, that's an incredible.

Christmas Eve. They have like a pianist playing country Christmas. Oh, my God, it's amazing. Yeah, I love it. Anyways. Just shout up Jeff Bruce. Okay, back to the. Jeff, we love you. We love you, Uncle Jeff. So watching the show back together, was it difficult? Yeah. Very difficult. Talk me through what it's like watching back together. So January, again, Taipei and me, I'm like, okay, we're going to have to talk about like what's about to happen. And I will be completely honest with you. Like, I know me. I know Connor. I said you are going to be America's sweetheart. I'm going to look like a bitch. I was like, I just know myself.

But that's perpetuated misogyny at its finest of viewers watching. Yeah. It's just women thinking, how dare she be a strong woman? Correct. And look at the sweet man. Yeah, that's sweet. Yeah, exactly. But that I knew that because like, I am self-aware.

I know. You're not a bitch. You're just a strong woman. And stop apologizing for it. That's actually very fair. I should stop saying that about myself because I have a strong personality. And yeah, so I was just like, this can be very polarizing. And I kind of know how this is going to go.

How do we want to both approach this? And it was really, again, going back to communication, how do we want to watch? How do we want to process? Couldn't be more upset. I was like, I want to watch together. I want to pause. I want to reflect. I want to keep going.

Like, Connor's like, nope, I want to be like at my house. Watch all of them by myself. And then like we'll talk about it in five business days. Funny. Like that alone has been on top of everything else. You're navigating your own relationship on top of the world like now welcomed into my relationship. Right.

And so it's difficult. It really is. And I think the communication. is just so key. Like there's good days, there's bad days. You have to understand what each other needs. And sometimes you kind of have to take a back seat. Like, hey, I need to show up for you today.

I can't ask you to show up for me today because you need more than me. And so it's the push and pull throughout the whole process. And I mean, I'd be lying if I wouldn't say this week's been terrible. Like, you know, it's just like it goes like this. And like we're at the reunion. We're like, oh my God, we're so love, blah, la, la. And then like the next week hits and you're like,

like what it's crazy what is the hardest like when you say it's been terrible what is the hardest part this week i feel like it's just the consistent nagging of like lifting connor up at the expense of me and so it's like you know you don't want it to drive a wedge between you but like Connor's like i'm having fun with this like i'm loving this like of course you know he's like feeling more confident himself and he's like to see you like not be able to get off the couch yeah it's like hard And I was like, I know, but like, pick me up off the couch. You're like, you've done it before, do it again. You know what I'm saying?

So it's really hard because I want to celebrate him, but I'm like, man, I don't even have anything to give anymore. Yeah. And so this whole week has been about, and what I said to you when I walked in, it's like, remembering who the fuck I am. Like, period. Yeah. Like, I am me.

And this show, this edit, nothing defines me. And so it's like, remember who you were before the show and come back with that energy. And that's where Connor's trying to like pull that back out of me and be like, I fell in love with you because you are this like strong, confident, unshakable person. Like to see you like this is so difficult. And I'm like, you're telling me, baby. Like get me off the couch, put some food in my belly. Like I get me going.

Like, you know? And I'm just like, it's hard. And we're human though, right? Like, I can talk myself all I want. But it's like, I hate it because I know how that feels. I literally know how it feels. I remember just like not being able to get out of bed because of what people. were saying and I remember like it's it's awful but I think just knowing like you know who you are

yeah this is a hard time like you're getting kicked while you're down by the internet and it will pass and you will move on and you will find that again and then you'll be even stronger than that totally but I don't want it to like harden you even more yeah and that's that's the thing too is I do feel like that's a balance because where I think previous habits or things that I would have done when things hurt me, it is the chip comes back on. Yeah. And I'm like, like, stoic. And like, I've worked this whole year to lean into that feminine energy and to like allow

myself to just be vulnerable. Yeah. And so I think that's a really great, again, I feel like this is therapeutic for me because it's a really great reminder of like, don't go backwards. Yeah. Like, remember, like how you can be where you are and that can be low. Yeah. But don't go backwards and know that you're just going to, you know, this is where you are right

now. It doesn't mean that's where you're going to say. And the guards don't have to come back up. Oh, don't do, don't. Yeah. Don't do that. I did that. It was bad.

Honey, no. Okay, ramen and Pino love different treats. Sometimes if I switch up their treats without approval, though, I maybe get a side-eye, but that's why I love Chewy. Chewy has over 100,000 products, food, treats, toys, beds, all the brands that they already love. And you know what? It shows up your door in one to two days, which honestly makes life so easy.

And it's not just about spoiling them. A lot of it is. But Chewy also offers pet prescriptions. Pet insurance, telehealth vet visits, and they're even rolling out vet clinics across the country. So it's kind of a one-stop shop for being just a responsible pet parent. And their customer service is elite, okay? It's 24-7. If something doesn't work out, Chewy's 100% satisfaction guarantee lets you return it within a year.

Literally no stress. No stress at all. Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewpanions. Chooey.com slash off the vine podcast. That's Chewypanions.com slash off the vine podcast to save $20 on your first order with free shipping. Chewpanions.chewy.com slash off the vine podcast. Minimum purchase required new customers only. Terms and conditions apply, so see site for complete details. All right, you know that one hoodie that you can't stop reaching for? The one that somehow works on the couch, on a plane, or

thrown over leggings to run out the door. Well, I found mine and it's from Paca. I think I've told you that before. I got their alpaca hoodie and I genuinely did not expect to love it this much. It's so much softer than cashmere, if you can believe that. It's warmer than wool, but then somehow still lightweight and breathable. It doesn't feel bulky or heavy. It just feels really, really nice. I've worn it traveling a lot, actually. I've worn it on chilly mornings, even just lounging at home and I get compliments every single time because it does look elevated, but it's still just so effortless. And what makes it even cooler is that paca makes their apparel from alpaca fiber, one of the world's most sustainable natural fibers, and each hoodie is made start to finish in Peru. It even has, I think

this is so sweet. It even has an Inca ID that's hand woven by artisans, which connects you to where it was actually made. I don't know why I love that so much. I think it's so cute and so special. It's also thermo-regulating, odor resistant, durable, like just built for real life. So if you've been thinking about leveling up your hoodie game. Here's your sign. Do it now. To grab your pack a hoodie, go to www. www.pacca apparel.com.

That's www.pakaqa apparel.com. I just feel like you didn't get a villain edit. To me, I just didn't feel like you got a fair chance when it came to looking like a girl's girl. Yeah. I think that was something that I wanted to talk to about because a moment from the reunion that people are talking about was a story you shared involving Devante and Brittany. Yeah.

So for listeners who may not have seen that yet, this happened at the reunion, can you explain a little bit about what happened there? Because Devonda and Brittany break up or she thought they were still going to work on it. Okay. This is where the confusing part happened. This is the confusing part. He thought they were breaking up. Yeah. She thought, I'm going to keep my ring on.

I love this man. He loves me and we're going to make it work. Yeah. He has a hard time saying things straight up. No, this is not going to work. I don't want to be with you. He can't do that. It's not in him.

He said he has a hard time with that. But there's a situation with the trip. Yeah. Tell us about that. So let's see. It would have been like mid-April. So we probably wrapped. It was maybe like two or three weeks after rapping.

But Priyanka, Ashley and I were going to go to the Rufus to Soul concert. And so it was just kind of like a little getaway and it was going to be girls trip. Then we started talking like Debo is a friend of ours, like good friend with. Which is Devante. Sorry, Devonte. I like, everyone's like, who's Devo? I'm like, again, shows you my best friend. I'm like, Deepo.

Devo. And so as we were just kind of chatting, like, we're like, yeah, you should come with us. And so we invited Connor, Debo. Connor, he does not do well on flights. Yeah. We got to work on that. So he's like, we are leaps and bounds. Okay, great.

We are doing it. Okay. So he's like, I'm going to sit out. Like, I'm exhausted from the show anyways. So Debo, like, comes on this trip with us. And it was like the most innocent type of trip. I mean, I was seeing like girls that I had known from previous stages of life, like college friends. I went to the Rufus concert.

Like, to me, I was like, oh, we're just all hanging out. Like, I didn't see it as, like, a big deal. But the problem was is that Devo was not honest with Brittany. And then I was like, I didn't know this part of it that you're telling her it's a work trip. And like, she didn't know that we were all going. Why would you tell her it's a work trip? Girl, I don't, like, I found that part out on stage.

I'm like, that's what he said. Like, because I was so honest with Connor. And Connor's like, yeah, go. Like, it's a girl's trip. Like, Devo's going, whatever. Yeah. He trusts me. I didn't realize that, like, this was going to be.

be a big deal. So do you think he had ulterior motives going to this girl's? No. Absolutely not. So why? It's so weird to me when people lie when it's not anything. And that's what probably the problem was. That's the problem. I mean, that's the problem with him that he needs to work on. I mean, the fact that he said he had an Airbnb, he didn't. He said he slept with his Airbnb every night. He didn't the first night. Like, there's just so many little things where I'm like, it makes sense that him and Alex are roommates. You guys can just. Screaming. Like, I feel like they can just like, trauma bond over being liars.

I'm sitting like on stage to him like, wait, what did happen? And it's like, okay, yeah, I think Devo did have any. Like in my head it didn't even add up. I was like, okay, the first night, yes, I think he stayed on Priyanka's couch. Then the next day he was definitely in his Airbnb because

I stayed at Priyanka's and then the next night I stayed at my friend's house and Devo flew home. So like, I was trying to put it and that's when I was on stage, I was like, what am I doing? Why am I in the middle of this? Someone else take this because I don't even know what's going on. Sometimes people are closer than people think. Some people, speaking for personal experience,

sometimes people think I am close with certain girls, but it's just because I've had to work with them and I take it as a professional approach where I'm like, you don't all have to be girls, girls, girls, girl code. I get that. Were you not that close with Brittany? Well, and she was like, you knew I was wearing my ring at the brunch. I'm like, the brunch was the same day as the Rufus concert.

I wasn't there. I'm like, how would I know that? Okay. So that's where I'm just like, I was really confused about the whole situation and what really shocked me, and this is what bothers me. I thought Brittany and I were just, we're cordial, right? We're fine, like, where you don't have to be best friends. But she has had so many opportunities to bring that up to me as an issue.

Whether it was like we've had girls nights at, like, Jess's house or like we've had little meetups at the bar. And her and I went to L.A. and did a whole press day together. She didn't mention it once that this was an issue. She holds it to the reunion. And that's what hurt me. I was like, what are you trying to do with this? And that was like, these people who say they're girls, girls.

I was like, why are you trying to stir the pot right now? I've literally went a whole press day sitting next to you on the couch in L.A. We stayed like, we got drinks after everything. You could have been like, hey, hold me accountable. If it hurts your feelings, hold me accountable and say, hey, that really hurt me when you did that. Well, that's a good context. Contest is important. What's going on here?

Because as a viewer, I was watching, I was like, well, why didn't she text it? Why weren't they talking? Why was, and it just was like all being held. and I'm sure a producer was like, wait for the reunion. Yeah. But I mean, come on. Like if we're trying to be girls girls here, why would you want to like make me look like an idiot? Yeah, fair.

Like, you know, this whole topic of girls girls, I'm glad we're on it because it's something that also bothers me because it is shocking to hear that about myself. Because my girls back home, they're like, I honestly would say you are the most girls girl. Like the way that you like invest in your friends and you support all of like there are big ideas and are always. are cheerleaders. And like what I've kind of reflected on is I think that I am very intentional with the circle that I have. And when I have that circle, I go deep. Yeah. Like I, I have ride or dies. Like I have a crew. And I went into that show. I wasn't like, I'm going to find 16 best friends. Right. Like I, that wasn't my intention. And so I'm getting knocked for not having these best friends coming out. And I'm like, listen, I support these women. They're great. Like, takes a lot of guts to go on

this show. But like, and even, you know, the, the whole reaction with like the Chris thing that's going on and like Amber's sitting there like cussing him out. That's not my, that's not who I am. I'm not going to go up and be like, you, blah, blah, blah. Like, I've mishandled it. Like, should I have been a little bit more direct and abrupt? But like, I don't know. It's just, it's hard to evaluate the definition of a girl's girl because I was like, what was I supposed to do? I find it hard because I feel like I am such a ride or die girl to my people. that I will literally die for. But no, I do anything.

There might be some girls out there that I'm like, yeah, I'm kind of friends with them, but I don't really respect them and I like wouldn't go to bat for them. There's, that's okay. Yeah. Yeah. And that's, and I mean, obviously that's not the case with Jess. I think she's like a queen and she's amazing. Right.

But it wasn't really like my business in the moment. And I will be honest with you, I didn't know the whole story. Because I literally poured everything to Connor. I wasn't where at the end of the night when the camera stopped rolling, the girls would get together, the boys would go play cards. I'm like, I finally have a minute with my man, where I'm going to go pour into my friends that are in Columbus because I need help. I need to talk to them. So yeah, I didn't foster these crazy relationships. So like, I don't, I didn't know all the intricacy details of some of these connections that were going on of like the

problems with Brittany and Devo and like Jess and Chris. Like all I knew is like Chris broke up with her because he wasn't physically attracted. And he made a comment about her not working out. You watch that back. you're like, holy shit, that was intense. Yeah. Like, I wish I could have showed up different for her. Well, if you could go back and redo that scene again where he's literally, I don't even know what the fuck was coming out of that. Rosie Cheeks man's mouth.

I don't, it was so bizarre. He was obviously intoxicated. Oh, blackout. And I don't know if he remembers it, but he was saying like, basically there was a moment of you two at the pool in Mexico as well where it seemed like a little flirty or like maybe what could have been. Were you feeling that at any time? No.

What was going on there? Well, to take it back to the pool conversation, I mean, it's a show. So, I mean, these conversations are being fostered because they have all the girls sitting around the pool and you have to rotate every 15 minutes and talk to every single guy there. And you're like, what the fuck do we talk about? Yeah. Like, I'm not going to pretend that we didn't date. Like, you know what I'm saying?

And like, let's talk about the things that we, like, related to each other on. And so we're talking about freaking cold plunges and double dates. And like, what's crazy is he like even calls me like a dude to Jess. I'm like, we're still like broing out. Like in that moment, you're like, it's somebody I dated, but like not thinking about. And then fast forward to everything that's going on at the mixer with, I mean, like, you're like, what is going on? This means unraveling.

Like, I think everyone's like witnessing him like flipping the script. You were almost in like fight or flight or like freeze mode. Like you were like, Chris. And it's like the train wreck you like can't stop watching. You're like, what in the fuck is happening? And like at the beginning, yeah, like, were we conversing? But I think towards the end of it, I'm like, what the fuck's going on here? Yeah.

I guess what would you do differently if you could go back while he's saying all that shit to you? Oh, I think I would just stop the conversation. Like, I'm good here. Yeah. You know, just walk away. Like what the, like this is nuts. Well, part of it too for me was interesting because of the I would be, I'm so mad for Connor's sake that he like, he not only betrayed Jess and hurt Jess in a way that is just

inexcusable, but he also turned his back on Connor and disrespected. guys's relationship to the max has he like that reunion was such a piss poor apology it was i love that nick lachet was like that's it nick was going in on chris and what do you think chris or have you talked to him what was he feeling like what is he having to say for himself right now well i i think he went on his apology tour the next day like it was like a media called conner called jess i mean he you don't need to talk to me i'm good so that was like like the immediate apology. And then fast forward, let's call it October, we had like a cast meetup and it was just like, we're all out getting drinks. And Chris walks to the door. And we're like, number one,

like, who invited him? And then number two was like, like, like the little like scurp. But we're all just like, is he really walking in here? And number one, there's like a little ounce of respect for him to just be like, show up to be like, I got to just own this at some point. Right. So he came in and immediately just goes right over to him. And they have a conversation. just like the queen she is is always like buying shots for everybody. So they do a shot. It's kind of like, okay. And that kind of like paved the way to be like, okay, like maybe he's like coming in

and like trying to like make things better. And so then Connor went up to him. They had a conversation. I joined the conversation. And I mean, he felt bad. Like he was like, I drank too much. Like I said, I said a lot of bad things. And he apologized.

And to be honest with you, I haven't thought about that man. that mixer. So I'm like, you know, the world sure has though. Yeah. But like you are nothing to us. Yeah. You are nothing in our relationship. You never were.

Like he won't be a friend moving forward. No. So it's just like one of those things. It's like, what do you do with it? Like, do you think he's working on himself? I don't know. Dang. I really don't know the answer to that question.

I was really hoping for like. Because you would think it would show at the reunion with like a response or something. If that was me, I would be so mortified. I'd be like, I need some serious help. I need to go, I don't know, I'm just obviously an advocate for therapy, but I just see someone like that and I go, that is a damaged soul that needs help. Yeah. And that's where, you know, it's hard because he is receiving so much heat and so much hate,

but you're like, he's a person. Yeah. And I, you know, it's hard not to just be like, wow, like he really has some other issues that need to be addressed. Yeah. I really do wonder how mentally he's doing. That's calm. He doesn't sit.

Call him and say. Hey, girl, you think I have. number. Chris, how are you? You're on off the vine? Can you imagine? No. Oh my God. You don't have his number? No. Damn it. I would. I'd call him. I would just like give him a therapy session. You're like, listen. I think there's some things that I need to say to you. I would just chat GPT a therapy session with him and ask all the right questions. Jessica revealed at the reunion, she's now dating Harmel. Yeah. He was from the cast. I always remember liking his energy in the guy's room. Yeah. What was everybody's reaction? Did you guys all find out in that moment or did you know? No, he knew.

Oh, okay. Yeah, we actually had gone out to dinner with Harmel and Jess. Are they, like, so in love because they said I love you. They're so cute. Well, and that was thing. They were keeping it super, like casual, we thought. Oh. We had, like, a smaller, like, intimate dinner.

There was, like, six of us. And Harmel and Jess were there. And they started, like, you know, like, I don't know, canoodling. Yeah. Kissing out of each other. And we're like, oh, this is like a public thing. And then to have them, like, announce it so boldly at the radio. I was like, yes, let's go.

That's really cute. I mean, I'm so happy for them, too. And this is like, again, you only get so much of like the cast and it gets to focus on the core cast that you forget that there's like all these other connections that you've made. And so right that was interesting as they were a connection that was highly valued like you know, she highly valued that connection in the pods. And to see that as like a second era for her is like so cool. And they're both doctors and like that is cool. They're cute. They're good energy. Do you feel like you and Jessica

like you've resolved everything and yeah put it in the past or what is your relationship now? I mean, Jess is literally, when I say she's like the mama bear of the group, she's so sweet and she's always made me feel included. And I love that because again, like, I recognize I'm not like besties with some of these girls, but like she's inclusive. Like, hey, we're doing this? Like, would you like to come? And like, I love that.

And I'm like, thank you because it's still a community, right? And I'm still friendly with these girls and I love that. And so I appreciate Jess for always going out of her way to make me feel good. And so I think her and I have developed like, you know, a friendship throughout the throughout the course of the last year. And so that's why it really hurt when probably we both saw the scene of like, wow, like, had I had this friendship and knowledge of the whole scenario now, I really wish I could have showed up for it differently. And, you know, I called her and texted her and told her that. And I was like, it really hurt me to see that back. Because I was like, you are such a great person and no one deserves to be that.

I mean, I think everyone's feeling like that. And like everyone wants to go and punch Chris now, you know? And like, see another thing that we don't get to see the fact that you called Jess and said you wish you handled it differently. Like that accountability is so big. And that's all it takes to move forward with somebody. But we don't get to see that. Yeah. Well, and that's the other thing too.

It's like these are so hard in these moments because I'm like, I want to take accountability. But like I don't need to go on a public platform like a TikTok and apologize to her because it's like I did that in private. Yeah. And you know, we go to the reunion and it's. kind of just like, you know what, we're sitting in it. Yeah. And like we're all fine. Like, you know, we're moving past it, but like, I don't know what else to do.

Yeah. You know, and so that's what's tough. That's very fair. Speaking of another mama bear, Amber. Oh, yes. She is a feisty little firecracker, which I love. Like, her man hating comments are so funny because I just think that's hilarious. Yeah.

And like they were, I felt like she was validated to say that. When she got up and walked off the stage. Oh, yeah. in a very heated moment at the reunion. Like it kind of, you can tell something's a bit stronger than her when her emotions come up. Yep. So I respected that she just got up and walked away and needed her little pause and then came back. But what is your take on that relationship and how that ended?

Because there was kind of some confusion. They seemed so in love. They got married. They were so happy. They were together for four months. And he felt like he was just being beaten down. Yeah. And she felt like he was not even wanting to be around.

Yeah. it's kind of like a his versus her story and nobody knows the actual truth. Is that how you guys feel? Yeah, I do. I think there's, again, we're in our own world so much when we're filming. So you only kind of know what you get filled in on. So watching it back, I was like, wait, I know some stories that maybe weren't shown. So I kind of understand the dynamic going into the wedding day a little bit better.

Yeah. To be honest, I'm like, I don't really know what the heck was going on with that. I just think there's a lot more to it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, I think there's a lot more to it. and they were both trying to be respectful of each other and not come in and like absolutely roast each other on the stage. So it may be confusing to everyone else because they're trying to

just keep it cordial. That's my point of view. Yeah. And just the little things that maybe I've heard through the grapevine because Connor's good friends with Jordan and like, you know, I'm trying not to be like, that's just one side I hear. And yeah. So it's difficult to even comment on, to be honest. I, that's what in my opinion, I was thinking it just feels like he said, she said, we don't know. Yeah, exactly. The whole truth. And it's comfortable. Right. I mean, yeah, like she has someone else involved. And I've never been in that situation where you have to involve a child. And that's like a whole other relationship and aspect. So that's what's so sweet. That's what's so tough. It's like I can't even imagine. Like that's really difficult. I can't either. And she, I would be a fierce mama bear like that too if I were, if I had a little daughter. Who else got grilled? Oh, Devante from Britney's dad. Oh, God bless. That was not a girl. That was like a. No, there was only one answer. He put a fork in him. Yeah. Correct. He's cooked. He was done. Correct. Correct. He had one. answer that you, there was, that was the only answer you could get because he was like, did you

lie to me? And it's such a vague question because it's like, yeah, I guess because we didn't get married. Like, I wasn't ready to get married. I guess I lied. Like, I was just laughing. I'm like, oh, my God. And Brittany's dad has backed him into a quarter. And his dad was like, you got to work on that. Like, you better get some help. And then he's like, is this a good time to say I'm expecting a baby? He said, hold on. I have something to say. He's like, they're like, Devanté, are you with anybody? He's like, yeah. Um, actually, I'm going to be a father. I was like, And then you just show him Britney's dad just be like, I was like, oh shit, okay.

You got to work on it. He said, well, I'm going to be starting to work on that in my new marriage. Yeah, I was like, oh, shit. Did you guys know that? No. And I'm like close with him. Like, we just probably had dinner with him. He was in town for work or something like three weeks before.

Zip, nothing. Did the producers tell him, just lock it up and wait for the bombs drop? He's an interesting, like, I mean, you kind of, it's so funny watching his edit back. Like, he's a very interesting person. Very. But, like, he holds things. things close to his chest. And so I think he was just kind of waiting, I guess.

I don't know. I, yeah, he was an interesting character. No, I would love to see everyone's faces at the reunion of that because I know I was like, yeah. Well, I didn't, I didn't even look at other people's faces because I thought you guys must have known. And then they said something like, did everybody know that? And everyone was like, I don't think once.

Well, maybe Alex, because roommate vibes. Well, and can we talk about him? Like, you have a soft spot for him. Oh, no. Like, he's fine. I mean, he's one of, here's, let me. He reminds me of a used car salesman just trying to pitch something all the time, like just say the truth.

Yeah. I just feel like to be a little vulnerable. Like he's just spitting constant like, like, it always sounds like he's lying because he's trying to pitch something all the time. Yeah. It never lands the plan. No. So it's kind of like, what do we do it?

But no, I was just going to say, it's so hard for me to comment on some of these men and like hate on them because they're Connor's friends. Yeah. And I'm like, I hang out with. these people socially and like, but I'm evaluating them so much differently. I'm not evaluating them as like a husband or a boyfriend to my friends. Like they're just a boy in the group. Yeah. Like I don't give a shit. I'm like, so it's hard for me because these people are like, what are your thoughts? And I'm like, I can evaluate him when he was with Ashley. I was like, this is so confusing

for you. She was constantly coming out and being like, it's so hard for him to like get any answers, to get any clarity to see where he has heads at because it's kind of all over the place. And so evaluating him with her, I was like, yeah, this is a hot mess express. Yeah. And to your point, what everyone's seeing too. But like him and Connor like shoot the shit about video games and soccer. I'm like, whatever. Like, he's fine.

Wait, you know what I'm saying? Wait, Alex plays soccer? Jeez. No, that's what's so funny is that's how Connor and him know each life. Because they played soccer against each other in high school. And I was just like, okay, I'm so glad you didn't get this like weird soccer at it. Okay, we all know this feeling when your to do list is so long. You don't even know where to start.

I feel like that right now actually. Work appointments, catching up with friends, remembering to drink enough water. Life is nonstop, and if you throw apartment hunting into the mix, well, forget about it. Just forget about it. But that is where Apartments.com can come in handy.

They take the stress out of finding your next home so you can actually enjoy the process instead of dreading it. So if you want to see if a place is a good fit, you can take a 3D virtual tour and get a real feel for the space without even having to leave your couch. And once you find a place you love,

you can schedule a tour online and even apply with one click so you're not stuck filling out endless paperwork for every single place you're interested in it's all in one spot making your search just way easier so whether you're moving for a fresh start a new job just better vibes all around apartments.com helps you get it done so you can get back to literally everything else so join the millions of happy renters find your next home at apartments.com the place to find a place this episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. I really appreciate it. And Progressive loves helping people make smart choices too. That's why they offer a tool called AutoQuote Explorer, which lets you compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from

other companies. So now instead of bouncing around different websites doing all the research for yourself, you can see your options in one place and choose what works best for you. So quick, it's so simple, and saving money is always a smart move. So give it a try after this episode. At Progressive, progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates not available in all states or situations prices vary based on how you buy everything is now aired the reunion has happened god do you feel lighter or are you now just like in the aftermath mess what am i helping you today are you feeling better this is like great this is and this is the first time that i've really been able to digest and then also speak to the whole experience because i do think like some of the initial conversations

I had. It was like I just got done filming the reunion. I'm having conversation the next day. I was like, whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So to like have a whole week to just kind of like, you know, you're really syncing into it. You're really processing. And so I think this to answer your question, I feel like this is the up and up. Like to be honest, I already hit rock bottom. And that's where I'm just like, I have no skeletons to hide because your girl showed up authentically me. I said everything I fell on camera because that's what I was supposed to do. Yeah. And so unfortunately all those vulnerable conversations are on the edit, but it's like there's no gotchas. There's no, oh my gosh, people are going to come out of the woodwork. Like I feel like some of those things are happening these women now. And I was like, well, I already got that out of the way.

So like, I'm on the up and up. I know it's my relationship. And I'm like, now we can go have fun. Yeah. We can be us and we can do all the things that we've been like waiting to do to like celebrate. Yeah. This is this is like now your relationship can really start. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Well, and here's the thing. As another point of view that I've, like, formed in the last two weeks is like Netflix got to write the first chapter. Yeah. In a way, right?

We had some freedom, whatever. But the edit is also a part of the story. And so I was like, Netflix wrote our first chapter. I was like, now it's time for us to write around. Totally. Like, it's time for us to just take this and like really do it. Yeah. I feel like you're both so invested and you're both willing to do whatever it takes.

Am I wrong? Am I right? Yeah. Am I right? It's real. I'm like, why not? Like, you know, I think also going on this journey, it's so crazy because it's like it was a year, but you're like this felt like a lifetime of like intense conversations and like

all these things that we've experienced together this year that it's like we owe it to ourselves to now take control and write our own story. Yeah, I agree. You have to. I agree. I think that's really beautiful. I'm proud of you for showing up exactly how you are. and like admitting your faults and being vulnerable and that it was so real when you just said like

you didn't know how to receive the love and like that all that was so real to me and I hope he continues to pick you up when you're down. Is there anything else you wanted to get off your chest? Get off my chest. I'm like, that's a little question. Are you pregnant? No. Okay. I'm not kidding. I was like with my mom and my aunt in Florida last week and my aunt's like, you're glowing. And I was like, don't say that. I'm like, is it my facial? And she's like, are you pregnant? And I was like, no. Oh my God.

I hope, like, we can't be doing that right now. I also hope nobody ever. I just asked you that, but I did it as a joke. But I hope nobody asked me that like when I am and I'm like, I'm like, I'm week four. I'm like four weeks pregnant. Don't ask you that because now I have to lie to you. Yeah. I'd be like, why are you not drinking?

I'm like, uh. Oh, the drinking thing is always the first one. We're like, oh, you're not drinking. Are you pregnant? Yeah. That's just our life. But anything to get off my chest. I mean, I think that as I've been reflecting, I mean, I, I,

want to take accountability for things that, you know, you watch back and I was like, I wish I could have been different in that situation. And the obvious one is the whole handling of the Jess and Chris situation, which, again, not to beat a dead horse, but like, yeah, like I take accountability. I apologize to both Jess and Connor. Like, it wasn't great to watch back for any of us. And so I feel like that's the one thing I would say, like holding accountability for that. And I think like watching it back, unfortunately, that's where I was in life with like how I was talking to Connor and how I was processing things. And like, he's given me so much feedback over the last year of like he's like, it's tone. It's like it's okay to say these things to me, but like how do you say them to me and how

I want to receive that information? Like it's okay to be honest. But like how do we even have that dialogue? And I think we talk a lot about just me as a person and how I have that masculine energy and I feel like I'm always on the defense. I'm always like, uh, le, uh. And like I hate. that that's my auto response. Yeah. And I felt that a little bit even at the reunion when like Brittany said that, I wasn't ready to like respond. And I kind of like catch myself.

I was like, oh, like I don't want to speak anymore because I know like I feel like I'm like you have to prove yourself. Yeah. I do. But I am a good person. But I didn't know because I didn't. I wasn't there. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I felt that so many moments where I'm just like I've been working on that. And so I see how I show up in the show and I know how I am now. And I know that that's something I'm actively working. on of like how can I communicate with Connor? How do I like approach him? And that's the beauty of a relationship unraveling, right? Of like learning each other. And so I hate that people are like, it makes me hurt. Again, I'm getting emotional. It's okay. I like emotions. So feel them.

Makes me hurt to hear that people say I mean to Connor, you know, because I love the shit out of that man. Yeah. I see that. And I know that he receives my feedback. back and he's like, I love, I love it because you make me more confident and you make me a better person. And like, it was delivery and it wasn't the best. But like, I'm like, I'm not mean to Connor. Yeah. And it's how we grow together. And like, again, it's just like I, I'm not perfect. And I've been, this is what this whole year has been about together is learning each other, you know. And you're growing and you're learning and you will both evolve as a couple and as individuals. And it's because you're doing the work and watching it back and you're reflecting and you're learning and it's wonderful.

That's life. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And I'm like, each day is a big like you do life and you reflect and you keep growing. And like that's something that I told to Connor actually in the kitchen. We had another kitchen conversation. Ironic this week.

And I was like, listen, if because these moments are so difficult together, I was like, I don't want to be with somebody that I can't continue to grow with. You know what I'm saying? Like this is such a big moment for us to grow. And like I want to grow until I'm 10 feet underground with my man's. Like we are going to never be perfect. Yeah. We are never going to feel like, oh, that was like our best, our best foot forward.

Like, we're always going to be constantly evolving. And they think about all the chapters we have ahead of us with like families and, you know, having kids and all of these things. It's like nothing's ever going to be perfect and it's always constant growth. And so that's what I love. And that's the relationships I want to foster. Well, thank you for being vulnerable enough to share that. Thank you.

to show up for people online who clearly need to see a strong woman who admits her faults and grows from it. Yeah. Well, and thank you. Like my big things too is thank you for making me feel safe and secure. Like that was a beauty of like us even connecting because I was like I don't want to be on the defense. I want to have a dialogue.

I want to be like vulnerable and honest and like you creating this space for me even to come in and do that. It's incredible. Anytime. Yeah. Literally we don't even have to record. You can just, we can just have therapy sessions in here. We're like still talking on the microphone.

Yeah, you have to. It's just, it's part of the vulnerability. People are like, actually, I should be like laying on the couch. Yeah. That's what's so hard. I'm like, I'm not like demon. Like, I love this man. The people who think that are the ones who are these brainwashed, misogynistic weirdos

who sit and judge a show and think like, this woman is too much. Yeah. I guarantee every photo of them is either not a profile picture or an old lady. Correct. I saw one with like full blown kiss makeup and they were like, you're ugly. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? No, the trolls are literally the most. No, it's insane.

They're not well. No. Unwell. And you would never care about their opinion if you met them in person. Like you'd be like, oh, no, no, no. You just said something like, like, again, this is like my continued therapy. But one of the things that I really struggled with to and then these moments of like us watching it back is like I worked so much on myself of being like, I always had

the insecurities of being too much or not enough. Yeah. And I went in and was just me and Connor loved every single bit of me. And that's what's so frustrating is now these people like, she's too much. She does this. Like talks too much. But that man loves me for all of that.

Like it's not too much or not enough. It's perfect for him and he's perfect for me. Like I'm telling you all of these people saying that are 60 and above and angry and haven't had an orgasm in years. Like there's demographics to the trolls. Well, thank you so much for coming on and obviously talking to me and talking. through everything with me. Reality TV, I feel like it can be such a wild experiences and there's so much beautiful things that can come out of it and always some hard things that come out of it

as well. But it does take a lot of courage to go on the show and then come and share your side of the story as well. So we're really glad you came on and you gave us a deeper look into what actually happened on the show between you and Connor. And we're just asking everyone to be a little kinder and see everybody as human beings. So thank you so much. movies and TV shows. You swear. If I'm mine, I'm done. This is the mindset.

Free. This is the mantra. Free. This is the... Movies like Interstellar, Dreamgirls and Gladiator. Are you not a detain? And TV shows like Survivor, Spongebob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents and Ghosts.

Pluto TV is always free. Hazzam! Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. Hi, I'm Lauren. And I'm Chandler. And we're the host of Pop Apologist Pop.

podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, Hollywood deep dives, real housewives, drama, and anything and everything, Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that A-listers might be more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for Pop Apologists. Pop Apologists, your new favorite sister and celebrity podcast.