Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Bridin’ Dirty in Charlotte with KB’s PH Balanced beau Mr. Jason Tartick

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Kaitlyn and Jason roll into Charlotte after the Thanksgiving holiday thinking it might be a bit more of a tame show but they were in for a surprise because the energy of the crowd was “electric”, just like the hug Jason got from Kaitlyn when they first met. It was a “Man Bun” vs. “No Man Bun” debate with the most PH balanced head of hair one has ever seen… for reasons that came as an embarrassing confession for Jason. But it's only revealed after Kaitlyn shares why she had to quickly escort her VIP guests out of her green room before the show! Jason’s parents are in the audience and with 37 years of marriage, they give some solid advice including “give a little, get a lot” which has Jason gagging on stage. They get into some “Ken You Nots: Wedding Edition”, How Do You Proceed situations for Jason and there may or may not be a cameo appearance from Grocery Store Joe and Serena. You can find Jason on IG at @jason_tartick CHINET - Chinet Brand makes premium disposable tableware for all of life’s gatherings. Visit mychinet.com to find out more. INTUIT - Discover how Intuit’s innovative products can help you see what’s possible at intuit.com. CREDIT KARMA - Head to Credit Karma.com/LoanOffers to see personalized offers with your Approval Odds right now. GEICO - Go to geico.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. It’s GEICO-easy! TALKSPACE - Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and use code VINE to get $100 off of your first month. OXICLEAN - Work your magic with Oxiclean White Revive! Visit myoxiclean.com for cleaning tips and tricks. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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TurboTax, QuickBooks, Mint, and Credit Karma, discover how Intuit's innovative products can help you see what's possible at Intuit.com. You're listening to Caitlin Bristow's podcast, Off the Vine. Take it away, Bree. Wine. Lots of wine. Hey, be on the mic, turn it up, let's go. Hey, ramen, Pino, ready for the show.

Everyone's welcome. So come on in because OTV, it's about to begin. Hey. Welcome to another episode of Off the Vine. I am certainly not your host and never could be. But as you may recognize my voice, I am Jason Tart. 's fiance, and I have the pleasure of being her guest today in Charlotte, North Carolina for the Briden Dirty Tour. Now, when you're listening to this podcast, I want you to imagine. We got about

550 people. And when we were doing this, this was live Sunday right after Thanksgiving. So we were expecting it to be kind of a quiet crowd. It certainly was not that. Charlotte brought the heat. We had special guests. We talk a lot about the wedding. Can you not? My confession is one I'll never live down, that's for sure. And there's just something about these live shows in me that bring out a whole different side of me.

I think I get a little too much spain sparrows. Let's just say the last time I was live for one of Caitlin's podcast tours was in New York City in 2019. And you can't find that podcast anywhere because shortly after it, I had to have a meeting with the director of the entire bank at HR. Those details are all told in my book, but it gives you an idea of how crazy sometimes I can get on these live stages. So buckle up, get ready to go with your fan favorite, the host of all podcast hosts, the Dancing with the Stars champion, the co-hosts of The Bachelorette.

If I keep reading their resume, I'll be here all day, so I'm going to stop without further ado. We are going live to Charlotte for the Off the Vine, Bride and Dirty Tour. I just spilled so much fucking wine. What a waste! I'm just kidding. I literally spilled so much wine.

I was like, I'm going to go out there. A glass full. North Carolina has some weird rules with some alcohol. And so I was like, I'm just going to fill up my glass of wine so full, a true KB pour, and I'm going to dance at the same time, and I'm going to hold my phone, and I'm going to wrap, and I'm going to, you know, and it just ended with a little splish splash. But you know what?

That's pretty good. Anyways, I'm so happy to be able to connect with the people that actually listen and, like, you guys are amazing. And it truly feels like family. So it's so nice to actually see people's faces instead of just talking to a computer all the time and be like, oh, you guys are the ones that are family that I don't know, but I do somehow. Facebook group. Are we in the Facebook group? Yeah, loud and proud. I like it.

I like him. Anyways, let's give it up for the one. The only, if his family wasn't here, I'd call him Mr. Big Dick Tarnet! I know. I know. This is wild. I know. I'm telling you,

I don't know why I underestimate the power of the vinos because she's been, first of all, what does that say? From Cincy to Boston, Sanford, Columbus, Charlotte. Let's fucking go.

I thought, wait a sec. I thought that said from... Cincinnati. I thought it said from Gingy. It says Cincey. And I was like, I thought like Sunday after Thanksgiving Day shit would be quiet these people are ready to fucking go all the way in the back too I see you guys back there let's go

can I keep this that's really sweet can we all take a shot oh Jesus Jason I just took one with you before we came out here and then Kyle and I had a moment who's Kyle I heard Kyle Kyle what's up there's Kyle there's Kyle His wife, I said, what did his wife do to make him come here? And he said, honestly, no, I just had to, like, he said tequila was involved. And he just had to pick out the seats. And I said, well, number one, why didn't you pick row one? And number two, let's do a tequila shot.

That guy's a beauty, yeah? He's a beauty. That's a winner right there. All right, so we're doing it. Also, Moon, Moon in the back. Moon, oh, another beauty. There we go. Wow.

So swaggy. Moon's getting cocky back there now. Before he was like this, James. Moon's doing like a fucking huggy. No, Jay, he got out before he's like, oh, I'm a little nervous. I'm sweaty. Now he's like, look up, Chicago. My show, Charlotte.

Hey. Is Louis single? Who he's Brandy's friend. Single? Are you single? I see a thumbs up. Oh! We're going to have to find him a date tonight.

That's fine. Unless he doesn't want to because also, who's single here tonight? and who feels good about being single where you're at in life yeah how about Brandy Cyrus in the house I already did that wait I don't have a drink

oh my gosh you don't have a drink oh here I actually have a little bit of Kyle's shot left over for you I'll take a shot I just got on stage I'm fired up right now all right well here we go Charlotte's bringing it all right if you don't have a shot On the count of three, we all take a sip.

Here we go. One, two, three, let's go. Oh, no, I got lime all over my face. Now I'm loosened up. Did you tell them about three bottle bristow? Yeah, I did. I told them out. Do I have lime on my face?

I think you're good. Oh, my God. I like this look, by the way, looking hot. I feel like we are like. Oh, do you think so? I forgot my parents are here. Okay, Jason's parents are here. Yeah.

But you know, it's. Oh, that's cute. You know, it's funny, though, and I'm sorry to Jason's parents if you don't want me to call this story out, but I have to say something. When I met Jason, Jason's mom said, Caitlin is a firecracker. She's very spicy. I think everyone here would agree. Right. But she didn't say that was a bad.

She was literally just like almost warning as one should. I should come with a warning label. And so then, anyways. as time went on, I can be inappropriate at times. I can say some things where I do it for shock value. And at first, I think your family was like, okay, how do we, because they're so sweet. I'm not just saying this because they're here. I don't even know where they are right now, but I love them so much.

I love you guys so much. And they said, okay, how do we, you know, adjust to this? They weren't like, don't do that. No, this is not happening. They were like, how do we adjust? to Caitlin's spice. And as time went on, I just feel like they are truly my second family next to mine.

They accept me for everything. And we're talking about this last night as I won blackjack. And we were talking about it. And they're like, you know, like we don't want you to hold back on your show because we're there tomorrow. And I go, I fucking won't. And they truly accept me for who I really am, as Jason does. and I just love you guys and your family so much.

That's so nice. I feel like I am, I literally won the in-law jackpot, and I'm not, again, just saying this because of that. I've told you this so many times. I love you guys. I love you. You're amazing.

Truly, I could cry. But, butt, bud, bud, bud, bud, but. Usually I'm the negative one. It wasn't all sunshine and roses. Roses. Here's a funny story. Are you really going to tell this? Just like kind of, a little bit, a little bit.

The dry-humping story. Oh, my God. All of a sudden. Again, I do things for shock value, not knowing articles are good. My mom's like melting over there. I'm melting. You know what? Somehow, some asshole sent that story to my 84-year-old grandpa.

Yeah. And it was his, like, you know, like grandpas have their own, like, circle of, like, they play, like, gin together. And he's like, so what's going on with your family? And it was like, your grandson, dry humps, girl, first time in that. And we were like... Then he forwarded that to my mom and was like, should we have a phone call? Like, what's happening?

It's just so... Things get taken out of context. Like, I could say so many things tonight that could be turned to do a nasty headline where I'm like, wait, what? I mean, more downloads on the podcast, I guess. Great. But you guys all know we are who we are.

They are who we are. And you know what? Thank you to the Tardex for loving me. There you go. For dry hopping your son. Anyways, okay. Let's just take a moment here. Let's just look out at the crowd.

We're in Charlotte. Literally. Wow. You are crashing our Bachelorette party. Thank you guys for having me. What a blast. The Vinoes have been with us since the beginning of our love story,

people who listened to the podcast saw the connection before we even did. It's crazy. I remember that day. That day was nuts. Olivia. I brought Olivia as a buffer. I was like, look,

my ex who I like to call it donkey nuts, he would have been mad for me to podcast with the most handsome, nicest human being ever, even though we were broken up. And I was like, I'm going to bring Olivia as a, buffer because I just don't want to be in trouble. And then I got there and I was like,

I didn't need a buffer. It was the easiest person to have a conversation with in the whole world. And we were just so aligned from there. Anyways, you guys have been with us since the beginning. Have you guys ever like, all right, a lot of girls here? You ever hug a guy and you're like, oh, shit. You're like, oh, shit. I walked in and I almost canceled because I had, it wasn't pink guy.

a stye. I had like a stye. I'm like, I'm not fucking, I'm not going to her podcast with a stye. And I, but I did. And when we hugged, I was like, oh shit. That was a hug. Okay. Now looking back, I was mentally not in a good place to hug and feel anything. I was just like, I'm depressed. You just like needed someone to hold on to it. And I, but now looking back on

that hug, I was like, wait, that was electric. It was an electric hug. I thought it was just his energy because he's got very electric energy. And I thought maybe that's just what it was. Now looking back, I'm like, oh, that wasn't just a hug. That was like a... So for the single girls here, next day you go on, if you a hug, if you want that guy, give them a hug.

We feel that shit. I felt it. Yeah. I was like, oh. Yeah. But you weren't thinking that. If you go on some little bumble tumbler, dumbbell date, what is it?

I don't know. I'm out of the game. What is it? Tinder. Tinder's a thing still? Wow. You got married on Tinder? Holy shit.

Let's go. Oh. So did my best friend. I was with my best friend on the beach, and she swiped and saw a hockey player, and I was like, don't do it. Don't do it. It's a hockey player.

And she did it, and they're married with two kids and the sweetest couple of all time. How come her hockey player's not trash? Okay, here we go. I was hoping you were going to bring this up. I don't know if we could or not. Oh, God. I don't think of that time for my story.

Who was your last boyfriend? Well, thank God we didn't get that far because he was trash. Yeah, absolute trash. Was he a hockey player? He was a hockey player. Still, that first red flag. But 90, I would say 90, and I've said this on my podcast a million times, and I go back and forth. I would say 95% of hockey players are garbage, garbage.

Hey. All right, well, you're not a hockey player, Jason. No, but here's the thing. You played hockey. You're not a hockey player. Here's the thing. Here's a thing. Oh, he's a hockey player then.

I'd like to see the best in people, Jason. Yeah, that's fair. All right, quick little cue. Anyone out there thinking about making a big change? Okay, change can be exciting. And if you're thinking about doing something big like buying your first home, doing some renovations, making a big purchase, or even paying down old credit card bills,

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Brandy started seeing a hockey player not just a hockey player he was from my hometown Alberta and Alberta boys are usually nice like really nice sweet what

I'm just listening you're not listening you're squinting and judging judging I've met a couple Alberta boys anyways what is the here's my question

to Jason. A hockey player, an athlete, whatever, or a guy from the Bachelor world. Who's worse? Oof. She got you there. Talk about being backed up in a corner. All right, so you're saying

if this awesome girl has traveled everywhere could date a hockey player or a guy from the Bachelor, who should she date? Are you attracted to men, first of all? Oh, sorry. Well, you never know. Sorry, good point. Would you assume you are?

I would say, without any bit of certainty, all certainty, you go with the hockey player. Why? Because they make more money? No, I... Such a numbers guy? No, I don't... I have some friends in Bastra Nation, but I don't have a lot of friends in Bachelor Nation. It's because a lot of them are turds. A lot of them are incredible, I will say that, but a lot of them are turds.

Sean Lowe is incredible I agree Sean and Catherine are Awesome They're great Truly what Bachelor Nation dreams are made of There are a ton of beauties out there too There are

But for every beauty Anyways Brandy Will you ever date a hockey player again Yeah I'm gonna need Here's here's I'm gonna need two to my business days What was the biggest takeaway from it?

What would you wreck up the single girl's out there that you just endured some bullshit? What would you tell them not to do? God, pay attention to the red fucking flags, gals. You know, because you think, like, oh, everyone's got a past. Everyone's got baggage. Like, you know, let's be empathetic

and let's get people a chance. And, like, you know, I don't know. Like, maybe he's a good guy. No. If your gut says he's not a good guy, he's not a good guy. Is there anything else like a women's... Nothing.

Woman's intuition. Yeah. That's how I won Blackjack last night. I literally... Jason was like, nope, you don't want to hit on that. And I was like, but my intuition says I do. And then I won $135 and started with $10. Can you actually give it up for my intuition, please?

Brandy, you trusted it and you got out. We're good. We got out just in time. We got out just in the nick of time. And for the men in the audience tonight, listen, if your woman asks about it, she knows about it. Yeah. So just come clean.

Yes. Right? Just come clean. That's deep, Brandy. Come clean. It's like a deep tweet. You read that and you think about that shit. I have a question.

Anyone engaged in the audience? Anyone married? Okay. So we have a good little segment. We're going to call, Can You Not? All right. And I always make the crowd do this, but on the count of three, can you just give us a big can you not?

One, two, three. Can you not? Right? Can you not? Can you not wedding addition? Now, I'm going to tell you, for those who are married and those who are engaged, Please don't be offended by the Keny and us that I have because they might be very different from what your wedding was

because, in my opinion, can you not toss the bouquet? We don't. Because I hate... Here's what I hate. It's fine if you didn't. I'm... I'm not tossing my bogey. I'm sorry. But here's my thing. you tossed you tossed okay

first of all the thought of me being like you have to get married next and then throw it and then the woman catches it and there's always the dude who you pant to and he's like

fuck why are they always mad that she every guy is I don't care if they are mad or they're playing they're mad every time they panted the guy chugs a beard

doesn't bro-y like, I'm a bruh, she caught the bouquet. And it's like, why wouldn't you be like, fuck yeah, I'm marrying her? That's fair. Why is that? It's always a thing. And it's a tradition that I think is planted

in these people's brains where you toss it. These women really believe they're the next ones to get married. Have you seen some of the videos? It's not like every barstool video. They will break their back to catch the bouquet. And then they pan to the guy who's something. Slashbair goes, oh, fuck it's so dumb. All right, you know what else is dumb?

If you're talking, Ken, you now wedding edition, and I want to put this, because I did see him do this, and I adore this human, I think the word, Ben Higgins, I think the world. Ben Higgins is, I would give my, I'd take my, anything Ben Higgins needed, I would give it to him. Yeah. But I did see it, and I didn't, because I've seen it other weddings.

The thing where, like, you go, like, you take the guard. The garter? You, like, take it. Oh, I saw it. No, he didn't. Oh, the T-thing, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then he threw it back. No, he didn't.

Oh, he did. Oh, Ben went up. Ben went in. Oh, yeah. That's your ex-boyfriend. That is my ex-boyfriend. That's my ex-boyfriend who I literally, from the moment I met him, I go, he's going to be my easy top three because he is a friend, and I adore him. But you agree, like, again, love Ben, but you agree, like, that's not going to have.

I'm not getting your thing. In front of whatever, my grandpa would be like, holy fuck. Your grandpa knows we dry hump. It's true. It's going to be okay. I thought maybe like a scrunchy around the leg. Really? No, I didn't.

No, I actually, I too dislike that idea. Again, if you have done this at your wedding, no judgment zone. No judgment. No judgment. I'm like, you do it. Go for it. Or what about the guy? You know, there's always, maybe it's a buffalo thing and it's bad.

Oh, boy. Let's go. but like the guy who puts to like his, somehow the tie from his neck ends up around his head and he thinks he's like cool and he's like, ugh. It's not cool. It's not cool.

If you are on our dance floor with that tie around your head, you're gone. How do you guys feel about flower bros? Have you heard of that? I hate it. They have these, it's a new thing where you don't have flower girls. You have flower bros and they come down the aisle and like chuck flowers and be like, oh, bro.

I got a Ken you, Now this is important for you. Okay. Because this is kind of make a break. Can you not yes or no play shout at the wedding? Oh, I like it. I love Charlotte. Would you move here?

I think after this, I would move here. I had my doubts. I had my doubts. Does anybody else have a can you not wedding edition? Like, who? Raise your hand. You in the headband. Yeah, fair.

Tusha. That's fair. She said, can your sister-in-law not wear white with her tities push up to her face? Fair enough. Fair enough You are the very back All the way in the back

You gotta say it loud I'm proud Can you not what Oh Cleo has a mic She's coming to you Where are you Cleo I don't even know

Dollar dance Pardon The dollar dance What's the dollar dance It's where you dance Can you show us? Can you show us? Can you show us?

Is this a Charlotte thing? No I'm from Chicago, Illinois. Oh, oh. So, like, at family weddings, they'll, like, come with singles prepared, and they'll dance with a bride and groom. What? It's like you're at the strip club.

You're kidding me. I'm not. I like to poll. When I'm confused about shit, which is all the time, I like to poll the audience. Caitlin's like, oh, you're going to fucking put an Instagram poll? All right. Do you, like, yes or no? Make noise if it's a yes.

Do you know right now what this dollar dance is? Make noise if it's a yes. Oh, I don't know what that is. What? A dollar dance? They throw dollar bills at you while you dance? And look, again, I love a zipper. Can you give us an example?

Oh. Okay. Can you just do this? Can we do this at our wedding? No. No? I think we should do it. I mean, to be fair, you were so against it.

And when the music came on, you were like this. Hey, bam. Yeah, I don't know why. That's very interesting, though. That's a can you, yes. That's a can you maybe. That's a can you maybe. Thank you for the wedding idea.

What about, I have a few written now, what about can you not with the bridesmaids with the matching updews and dresses and everyone with like... Again, so I'm like, are people going to get mad at me for saying that? Here's my thing. We have obviously been talking wedding talk. and we're trying to decide what we want. We think we want, like,

great Gatsby style, like fountains of vodka martinis and, like, a symphony and black tie affair. I think I want to put everyone in black and white. I don't care if you wear white to my wedding. I don't. Sue me. I don't. Sue me.

You guys are judging me. I can feel it. These are a lot of eyes staring at me. Wait, what's next? Steve Madden. Anyways, what was my... I was like, what's next? Cliffhanger. Oh, no, no, no, that was it.

Can you not have the same hair up to and dresses for every bridesmaid? Let the bridesmaids wear what they want. You guys want to wear it? What do you feel comfortable in your body? Do you want a long dress, a short dress, a baggie dress, a tight dress? You wear what you feel comfortable in for your body.

Oh, I like that. I got a question. How many people out here have been married? Good amount? All right, I have been told by my lovely parents out there that you should remain sober on your wedding day. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We got to break this up.

I'll have like four lectures this week. Let's do two. I want to see two shows of hands and cheers. Stay sober on your wedding night? All right, we got a couple. We got a couple. That's fine. People are always like,

Caitlin, you promote drinking too much. I'm like, no, that's great. I love it. I want to take all the advice. Drink on your wedding night. Okay, I guess here's the real question. I just think we should get like... Get buzzed up on your wedding night.

Get blackout. Get three bottle bristone on your wedding night. Okay, it's a miss. It's a miss. Blackout. She said, flat down. All right, as 2021 comes to a close, another holiday season is upon us. And for many of us, that means travel, spending time with family, even though seen family can obviously be incredible.

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month with promo code Vine. That's $100 off when you use promo code Vine at Talkspace.com. All righty, I'm no magician over here, but lately I've been feeling like one when I do my laundry because I've been using oxyclean white revive, laundry whitener, and stain remover, and let me tell you, it really does work like magic. I've just been organizing my closet for fall and winter because I know the colder weather is coming soon, and I've definitely found a couple of items that need to be brought back to life, and that is where OxyClean White Revive comes in. Okay, so I have to explain to you why it really does seem like magic.

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and it really did come back to life. This is just going to be such a game changer for the next time I stained something too, which, let's face it, is inevitable. I can be a mess sometimes, okay? So work your magic with OxyClean White Revive. Visit myoxyclean.com for cleaning tips and tricks. You know, I actually feel like we're going to skip the same one.

I have something fun. What is it? What are you thinking? What was it? Tell what you're going to skip, though. No, I was something fun. What were you going to skip? It's called a confession.

Jason has a really good confession for you guys. say, Jason is fun. I hate confessions. Yes, that's what I was going to say. He doesn't like to embarrass himself. I thrive on embarrassing myself. Honestly, I don't

need to embarrass myself because I got you keeping me in check every day. It's called... Like that April Fool's joke. Are you fucking kidding me? You got to keep your partner humble. And I don't get embarrassed very easily. In fact, before I came out here,

I had to kick out Jason's dad, his dad's friend, and their son. You didn't kick him out. You just went to their seats. I didn't kick them out, but I quickly encouraged them to find their seats because I had the nervous shit. That's why? Yes. That's why you forced them out of the room. Everybody clear the building.

I'm nervous. I was nervous. I'm not anymore because you guys are awesome. But anyways, Jason, give us your confession. again he needed that before we started this by the yeah all right confession confession so a mom dad ears this is not no it's not that bad mom and dad but anybody that is in a relationship do you guys have your significant other either using your conditioner or your hair product or your gel yeah I don't use gel well you know you do got to be jail right here got

So Caitlin, Caitlin left because she was filming The Bachelorette. How about that? And so, standard practice, I get in the shower and I'm just like... Let's also start with the fact that you always use my hair products. I was like right in the weeds right here. Yeah. I use her, I mean, she got the best, look at this. She got the best face stuff, the hair stuff, right?

So I'm not going to go to fucking CVS and buy. Like, I need this. You got the good stuff. stuff, you know? So I'm looking at, I'm like scouring, you know, I'm like figuring out what I could use. And I see this, like, beautiful white bottle. And it's like, it says, like, balance, like, everything, like, smell good. It also says pH balance. It says pH. So there's no soap in there, there's no shower gel. She's off filming. Who season was that? Katie's? No, it's Michelle's. All right, Michelle's.

She's out filling Michelle's. I'm like, all right, I'll smell good. I'll throw a little, you know, just do myself. By the way, it's also not scented. It's not, well, no, it's scented. It's not scented. That's the whole purpose of a pH balance. No scent.

Yeah. Well, I don't know what this. The last time I heard about pH was like my, I don't know, bio class in seventh grade. And so I just keep using it and pumping and dumping and done, you know, and Caitlin comes home and she takes her

first shower after being back from Michelle's season. And she said, where the fuck did this bottle go? And I was like, two and a half months of shower gel. Just cleaning myself. I said, honey, that's vaginal

wash. It literally balances out your pH he put What do you mean, did he put it on his head? Men have one wash. I think, I think she said, how does it feel to smell like a pussy?

She won't admit it, but that's what she said. Number one, I would never say the P word. She said it. And I went like this. No, you didn't. He's really selling it, you guys. I would never say the P word in my whole career. She said it.

I would never say the P word. In our little room? No, my point is I didn't. You can believe here to me, whatever. My point is, I was like you used a pH vaginal wash for your hair,

your body wash, your lotion, your shampoo, your conditioner. Yes. Literally guys use one, and it's usually some manly name where it's like, Bulldog! Bulldog, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, and everything all in one.

And women are like, and this is for my elbow. And this is for my left elbow. And then there's some eye cream. But then there's eye cream, only for the crow's feet. You literally used my vagina wash in your hair, eyes, face, mountain... Two months fucking straight.

I had no idea. he does have great hair it worked out the pH balance wait wait I have a question and Jason's mom's gonna agree I told my buddies that and they're like you gotta be fucking kidding me you're very balanced

I just stole that from the crowd I'm sorry she goes he's very balanced and I totally stole that joke made it my own I stole your thunder I'm sorry you're good I have a question for the crowd Now, when we saw Jason on The Bachelorette, he had his got-to-be hair gel, slicked back hair,

Andrew Keegan, handsome as hell, but I remember, I didn't follow him, and when I heard he cut his hair, I followed him. And I went, oh, wow, oh, shit, he is good-looking. You were always good-looking. But when you cut your hair, it was like, damn. Should he cut his hair? Should I keep growing my hair? Let's fucking go, Kyle!

And that guy, and that guy, and the Broncos guy. Okay. First of all... We're in a serious debate about this. I asked Jason, I said, should I cut my hair or grow my hair long? Do whatever you want to. Well, now he says that. He said, grow it long.

And I said, cut your short. And then we got into this argument. And I was like, obviously he's good looking no matter what. I love Jason's like long, shaggy flow if it's just a little shorter than back. It's a little mulady right now. And I think he looks so handsome no matter what. All right. Let's bring it to the poll.

Voice. All right. Cut it. First is cut it. Second is growing. The first one, should I cut it? Should I grow it? Should I grow it?

that's even that's even so you know what we're bringing it down to the back also red sweater what do you wear a NASA NASA sweater yeah moon's biggest fan who is Brandy's biggest fan what's your name Austin oh that's nice oh and you said yes ma'am that's also nice where are you from You seem sweet. You want him to grow his hair? What's fucking go to the moon, baby? Woo! He's got great flow.

Don't get me wrong. I love his hair. He's got the best head of hair on the planet. This just needs to be a little thinned out and cleaned up. We have some special guests here tonight. No, it's not Robin and Pino. It's better. It's better.

Obviously, we talked about this. earlier. Jason's parents are in the crowd. And before I become a Tarduk, I just want to ensure that we have covered all the bases. We asked your parents some questions, some

advice, because these two people, and let me just tell you, they've been married for 37 years, and I watched them when they're not watching, and I one time saw Gary Tartick, look at Dale across the table and go, God, you're a beautiful woman.

You're the glue to this family. I know. And then I've seen Dale. Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale. Dale is the queen of the family. She really is the glue to the family. And she's amazing, and I'm lucky. The other day we went to the gym

and it just slid right off her tongue. She said, this is my daughter-in-law. And now I call her mom. Anyways, they've been married 37 years. And there is something to be said about their relationship. And I was just thinking we can ask them a few questions. Damn, damn. Yeah, you can't.

Hey, hey, hey, do something crazy. do something crazy. Freshman, Freshman. What? You say Brad Pitt? No, Frashman. Freshman.

Do something crazy. Do some crazy. Crazy. Freshman. Is this a TikTok that I don't know? No, this is like Circa Day 2008. Anyways.

Gary and Dale Tardick, everybody. Oh! Dale Turtick, welcome to Stair! Hey, William. He's got the mark. Oh, shit. Yeah, girl, work it, work it, work it! Woo!

Okay, everybody! Give it up with Dale and Gary Tarnick. Everybody That's a good song That's a great song I'm really good on the fly And it also makes sense Okay Gary, no stand up Gary and Dale

Are they coming? They are so cute Look at him! He's shown off his queen and clapping for her I cannot. Okay, do you guys have a Oh

That was cute I love you guys so much. I love you. She's at a couple of cosmos. Okay, Dale and Gary, I'm sorry to put you on the spot, but we have to do because you're an inspiration to a lot of us. I need to ask a couple of questions. And either one of you can answer.

I'll answer. Okay. Dale. You got this. What is the secret to 37 years of marriage? You have to know. that your partner is somebody that you want to be with the rest of your life. Give a little, get a lot.

Sick. You're the one that took it there, not them. Expect that your partner is going to want to see the best for you. And give the best to him. her and always be there for each other. That's really nice. That's really nice, Dale. And I have, I've known you for, I mean, what, three years?

I see that in you two every day. And that doesn't mean there's no disagreement. Oh, there's lots of those. Lots of those. But the respect between you two is everything. Right. Yeah. We love that. That was a great and beautiful answer.

Gary, you agree? Absolutely. Absolutely. says. Okay. Okay. Smart man. He is a smart man. He really is. I've seen it. We play pickleball and that brings out the worst in me. Oh. Yeah, we fucking love pickleball. Yes, honey. The passion behind the pickleball. Okay. You have to see Caitlin play pickleball. It was impressive.

You know what? Gary, it was, I was on your team for a hot minute and you taught me all I know. I heard a rumor from your mouths that if Jason and I had a baby, you would move to us tomorrow. In a heartbeat. Yeah! That's how I know I love my in-laws. I literally am like, can you move tomorrow?

Can you come tomorrow before I get pregnant? Because we love you guys. So I have one thing to say. So when Jason met Caitlin, this is a true story. This is a true story. He called me, and he said, I just met my wife. I said, no, that's not true.

You never say that. He said, I turn this mic up. He said, I swear, I just met my wife. That's true. That's really cute. That's really cute. make out make out

I really quickly go Dale what is the best present you have ever received from Gary besides two kids yes besides my two kids who are the best things you really did okay can I just say that before you answer

they really birthed two of the best people I've ever met my life but usually you got one or two literally best thing I ever did in my life for having my kids but I will say probably Napa this is my last trip

yeah Gary did plan a whole 60th you look 20 birthday in Napa for the whole family they always do family things is really sweet I'm so lucky to be a part of your family I love you, Kaylin.

I love you guys. Thank you. Jay, drop the man button. Yeah. I'm keeping it. Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary. What do we got? What's the next on the list?

Mom, Dad, that was beautiful. Absolutely adorable. 37 years plus. Let's go. All right. So before you, Jason, it's important for me to vet my closest friends and make sure that if you want to be my lover, you've got to get with my friends. I'm like, hey guys, have you ever heard of grocery store Joe and Serena? All right, Joe, Serena, you got a lot of friends in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Oh, shit. Hi, Joe. Hi, Serena. Here, let me, I'm really good at this. Hi, guys. How's it going? Good, how are you? Hi, Charlotte.

Okay, we're really good. We don't want you. to break contracts, so we're going to ask you one question and one question only. Are you ready? Yeah. Sure. Okay. Toronto or Chicago? Oh!

Toronto! Toronto! Whoa! I'm such an asshole. Say that again? And then I say Chicago. No, you're speaking to two Canadian girls right now. It's got to be Toronto.

Yeah, okay, sure. It's wrong. You know what? You guys are so cute. You're going to end up wherever your little heart's desire. I didn't even know Jason was calling you. I just saw your faces and I got very excited. But we love you guys. Your guy's night looks a lot more fun than ours, just chilling on the couch, you know.

Hi, everyone. You hear me. Hey, I got to say these two, two of the best people ever to come across the show. Yeah, I agree. That's really cute. What did you say, Joe? I just said I agree with that. Let's go.

Thank you guys. We love you. Bye, Joe. They're so cute. They're literally so cute. Joe is the freaking best. Okay, Jason, we have a few questions from people. Vino, some of them are in the crowd.

Is this a new do-thing? I like that. Do you know what a veil is? Another bride. Hi. Yes. Hello. Hello, nice to meet you.

Lexi wants to know on a scale of 1 to 10, And how nervous were you to propose? 15. It was funny because Cleo was like prepping Caitlin. And Caitlin was prepping me because I told Caitlin there's going to be a big sponsorship. So she thought there was like big deal coming. And all I was upstairs, like upstairs and I was just pacing back and forth. Like, oh, my, God.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. And then the funniest part of all said and done, it went well. We're at dinner. And Caitlin's like, so is that sponsorship? Like, that coming through? I was very nervous. First of all, I was so convinced

that there was a big sponsorship. That's why I would, I never video my podcast because I'm always like, I want to like look like the biggest piece of garbage I possibly can while I podcast. That's the beauty of podcasting. And then there's videos and I was like, okay, there must be a big sponsor coming up.

And then he proposed and I was literally on. cloud nine and then like two days later I was like so no sponsor or? The best part Cleo and I had a sign. The sign was when Caitlin asked for the guest it's my turn to come in

and so Caitlin did that. Cleo we're going to bring in our guest and Cleo was in our house by the way like in the back she's like okay and I was I froze I was like and so Cleo didn't know what to do

and I didn't know what to do and there was this awkward silence and Caitlin's like what the hell's going on and I was like and Caitlin thought I didn't record she thought it didn't hit record which is a big issue in pot you got to record and I was actually so kind about it usually flip out usually she'd flip out she'd be like what the fuck you didn't record okay oh okay but she knew the apple was there and she's like oh honey don't worry apples got this covered and then Cleo thank God Cleo didn't come up and eventually I got the wherewith all to be like There's no cast. That's pretty sweet.

Okay, next question. Nikki wants to know what's your favorite Christmas song and can you sing it? I already know what this is. What's your favorite Christmas song and can you sing it right now? I already... But do you think it is? Which one do you think it is? When we were at our season of the show,

and all we would sing the whole time was, Bado, butto, bum, bum, bum. Keep that going from. Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum. Don't do this. No. I'm dreaming of a while. I'm just like the one I used to know

I've got one of my favorite games that sometimes I play on the podcast but what my favorite thing is to do is put Jason on the spot because he panics so we're going to play how do you proceed are you ready literally I'm going to give you very uncomfortable scenarios and you have to let me know how you would proceed.

Exhibit A, Buffalo Wild Wings offers to sponsor your entire wedding. He would say yes, but you can only serve chicken wings. How do you proceed? Is it like how much? What's the deal? I don't know how to make that any more clear.

Buffalo Walsons? Wild Wings wants to sponsor your wedding. Oh, no, no, no, never, never. Boo. No wings, no wings. I think, I think, I think, I think wings should be part of the, like, so everyone, here's how our wedding is going to work. Like, dress up nice, act nice, we're going to get married, we're going to celebrate, and

then we're going to get all bombed up, partying, and then the after dinner should have, I think, wings. Sure. Sounds great. Are you in for that? Yep. I tell you that there's a specific dance on the Dancing with the Stars tour

that will have me performing nude, but it's art. How do you proceed? Not happening. My body, my choice. Am I right? I mean, are we talking like some Leonardo Titanic shit or like drawing a painting?

Yeah, like paint me. like one of your French girls. Who's baby? Okay, picture me nude. Paint the picture. Paint the picture. Like that.

If you're okay with me doing that, dude, I'd be good with it. Of course I would. Go right ahead, sir. You're... My dad's, I can see my dad's eyes. He's like, what the fuck's happening? I like this.

He's shaking as it. I'm about to walk down the aisle, and you suddenly have a toot that you can't trust. How do you proceed? I have a tooth? A toot. A toot. A toot. Oh, you fucking ripped that.

No, you can't trust. Trust it. You think it could be something else. No, I would, like, I would definitely angle towards the boys. And then if you, you know, you pull an ass cheek, then you're just like to make the noise. You pull the left one away. What do you think? What would you do?

It doesn't matter. The bills. What would you do, though? You're walking down and you, and everyone's looking at you and you're like beautiful. I don't trust it. I don't trust it. Do you just hold it in? Yeah. This is a good one. This is a good one. Gene Jacket, you're going to miss this. you're going to miss this this is a good one

okay the bills are playing in the Super Bowl and you have tickets your first child just happens to be born on that due date

how do you proceed the fact that you're thinking about this concerns me you said our child right our child i would be i would be right there for our child and then the next super bowl i'd bring our child to the super bowl we'd be there party it good answer you know on you know on like um family feud and they're like good answer good that's me right now too family feud's a little sensitive subject always wondered what these

notes say no i threw it because you weren't listening i threw it we were done we're ad livin now I just need to say before I know we're going to wrap this up and it's been so fun but just thank you for just being so accepting and loving and sweet and supportive

we just feel every time we come to a show or talk about vinos or anything we're always like have you met a better group of people I've never thank you for everything that you do everything for supporting us and for being so kind and hilarious and And I would also like to thank Jason for being my guest.

I would like to thank Brandy. I love you and I miss you and I just, this feels right. This feels right having you up here. I feel at home here. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on.

on Podcast1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.