Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Brittainy Taylor Pt 1

Episode Date: November 5, 2019

Today, cast member of Very Cavallari and IT professional, Brittainy Taylor joins the podcast! Brittainy talks about the misconception that she doesn't work her day job, even among her own family members. The friends discuss learning from past relationships and the opportunity to find yourself in your 30's. And Brittainy speaks about combating stereotypes as an attractive and intelligent woman. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who's down with OTV? Who's that with OTV? Podcast One presents off the vine with Caitlin Bristow. Caitlin is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves. Get ready for lots of laughs. Taboo topics. On filtered advice and wine. Lots of wine.

Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today I'm sitting down with director of... What? I'm starting over. Can I also tell you that I've had a lot to drink today?

That's great. Perfect. Because I'm ready for it. Okay. Today I'm sitting down with director of It at Fashion. Is it IT? Yeah. Did you say It?

Okay. This is one part of my confession, by the way. So last... You have no idea what I do? Nobody does. No, last night. when we were talking, and you were talking about, like, all the, you kept using abbreviations. And I was like, yes. And you were like, oh, you know, and PO and IT and blah, blah. And I was like,

uh-huh. An ERP? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. And I was just like nodding my head. And so now when I'm reading this, I'm like, it fashion. I'm like, nope, that's IT. And now I'm like, it's funny because that was going to be part of my confession where I was like, what the hell do you do? Nobody knows. literally people somebody asked me today they go see you're still managing the store I go no I've been doing that I literally gave that up two weeks into doing it oh my god that makes me so happy IT information technology oh basically a big nerd oh am I allowed to do that of course you can and I also love that because you're like the hottest nerd ever okay let me try this third

times a charm Caitlin stop embarrassing yourself on so you can really get it yeah but you're like the hottest nerd of all times and okay oh yeah you look so nerds so nerds you like just made yourself 10 times hotter with the glasses. Today I'm sitting down with director of IT. Is that? You did it. Okay.

At fashion brand, Uncommon James, you most likely know her from her role on reality TV show, Very Cavalry, which follows the lives and drama of those working at the company. She now lives right here in Nashville, where you can find Uncommon James flagship store. When she's not working, which is rare for you, you're a bit of a workaholic,

which I respect, your hustler. You can probably find her out exploring or in a bikini on any body of water. Oh my God. Actually, I like this. Your bikini goals. You can follow any of her adventures on Instagram at Britney Taylor or binge watch seasons one, two. A very Cavalry before season three premieres. Please welcome to the pod.

Britney Taylor. Yes. Okay. What is IT again? So it's information technology. So basically, anything that has to do with, I mean, honestly, we live in a world where everything is IT related. So, like, okay, it's something as simple. So I should have known that.

Fixing printers to, like, coding websites. So it literally is a range of things. Like, people are like, oh, you know that. Like today, I literally almost didn't make it early because I got asked come earlier. Because I'd go to the store to go help out with the POS systems that were failing. What's that? Point of sale. Oh, it's like printer, operas.

operator stuff. No, it's point of sale. So it's the stuff that the retail people check out with. So like things are going wrong. So something as small as that to like product launches and what it looks like on the website to security like camera set up like the store. Oh my God.

Yeah. That's cool. That's a cool thing to have under your belt. And you went to school for. Yeah, I went to school originally for video game design. God. Stop flirting with me. That's so cool.

I know. But I tell everybody. I was like, I speak in buying. So like when people are like, oh, yeah, she's really good with like numbers and stuff. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'm terrible with numbers. Don't ask me to do math. Yeah.

But when it comes to binary code, I got it. Like, I can, I like zeros and ones. I got you. That's so crazy. That's so, and you love it. I do. It's weird, but I love it. I think because, so my grandfather was in the Air Force and he did basically IT for them too.

Yeah. And so he would come home with like these motherboards. Yeah. And my mom did the same thing. She worked for her company and she had like proxies and stuff like that. And like they would, I was like a kid like playing with them. like trying to make things work. Yeah.

And it's when the computers were like, you know, super huge. And they were just coming out in the 90s. And I, I played with it like anyone who played with in the Monopoly or, you know. You're just into it. My mom's boyfriend's like played video game. Yeah. I just like I grew up like loving this like. And being around it.

Which is kind of weird because I think it's like an ulterior world. Yeah. So maybe there's like a. Ooh, a little escape. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we all have something. Yeah.

That was your little escape. And now you can make a living from it. Yeah. It's great. And literally it's one of the highest paid positions you can have. So I'm like, you know what? I'll take IT all day long because it's better than, yeah. And it's, I always find it fascinating because I grew up where I didn't, I was like,

I'm not going to college. I already know that. I'm going to graduate high school. And that's it for me for school. I'm going to make it as a dancer. I'm going to work my way through restaurants. Like that was my like mindset where you were like, well, no, it didn't start that way. My mom was actually really disappointed.

Oh, why? Because she wanted me to be a doctor. What? So I grew up in the north, like in the north, like there is no creative, like, which is weird because my mom is an art, was an art director. So you would think like this woman would be like, do it. You know, I went to like, you know, every Sunday to the Philadelphia Art Museum and we go to New York and go to fashion week and she wrote sketches and stuff. But she was just like, my daughter is going to do better. I don't know.

Interesting. I would, she wanted me to go into school for physical therapy. And I remember, like, I got into college. I had a full ride. I got all these scholarships. I wrote myself, all these, I got all these grants. I was like totally good to go. And I was like, I don't want to do this.

really good for you for listening to that yeah but then she was like have a great time communicating or whatever it is you think you're doing because I was like at the time it was communication yeah and uh social social media informatics that's really what it came down to be and now you're like look at me now I know look at me now I know social media informatics uh now I know what I'm doing when I'm online how crazy is that that you know people grow up and they a lot of people do have that um kind of pressure on them from their parents to go certain route and and everybody's I mean now people like to take their own unique path but how challenging was that for you to not disappoint your mom and actually just go with your gut and now

it worked out for you and it's weird because like my mom's now like my mom is always like oh I always knew that you'd be like blah blah blah and I was like you did but I think he just kind of like maybe doubted yourself yeah yeah I just I think maybe she thought I was going to end up like every other kid in Philadelphia which is homeless or on drugs was that what happens oh yeah I mean like, well, I'm sure it doesn't happen to everyone in Philadelphia, but like I grew up in a very small portion of like the burbs. And I mean, out of all of my girlfriends, I'm the only one that's left town. Really? And I'm not, you know, I'm either not pregnant or not struggling or figuring it out or, you know, there's very few of us there that are like crushing the game. And so I, I mean,

I turned 18 and I couldn't wait to get out. I would come, I would literally go, every summer I would go away until I graduated college and then I completely left. And you've always kind of been a go-getter? I don't even know it's a go-getter. I just don't, I want it more for myself. You know, it's like a Pocahontas or like a Moana type theory. Like, I was just like, there's got to be more on the other side of this. Like, I cannot.

And I think a lot of people don't see life that way, though. A lot of people are safe and secure in their little bubble, and it makes them happy to stay. See, I thrive in like, change and unknown. And I think because my grandmother is Thai. So she came here from Thailand and she literally hopped on a plane or, but I can't remember what she did. but they met in Vietnam and like she they exchanged letters for a year and then she found her way over here. And I think because I grew up with a culture and I went to Thailand every year, I think there

was a part of me that was like, God, there's a whole other world than these like mean-ass kids in my backyard telling me that like it's weird that I'm eating spring rolls and sushi. And then like literally the very next year it became popular. You know? You were so ahead of your time. Every Thai restaurants on every corner, you asshole. Like enjoy that pot tie. It's not called pad Thai.

Let's get it together. Oh, wait. Oh, my God. I'm so glad to know this because I'm going to be around you and I'm so glad to know. I just ordered a pad tie for lunch. I did today. Today. But you're Canadian.

It's okay. Okay. You say pasta. Yeah, I do. So that's okay. Okay, so it's pot tie. It's like, it's like any other language has there, like the way that you say, like the, what is it called? The vocal of it.

I don't know. I can't remember the word right now. It's escaping me. But, you know, like in Spanish, you know, like, man. banana yeah yeah you know so it's pot like they don't their a's wait and how do you say foe fa fa okay yeah so you know that's another thing with it i'm like i always try and read my audience where if i'm around canadians i say pasta if i'm around americans i say pasta if i'm around you i'm gonna say pot if i'm around like what was the other one um um oh uh french people i'm gonna say croissant

yeah which i think is amazing i'm the same way with like i'm in like when we're in Mexico? I'm like trying to speak Spanish. I'm just making fun of me. I'm like, we're in their country. Exactly. And they appreciate, even if you do it wrong, they appreciate you trying. Right. That was me in Germany. They don't appreciate you trying in Germany. They're like, get out. And however you say that in German, if you can't speak their language. That's, I mean, this brings me back to why I left. That's like Philadelphia. Right. They're like, it's whizz or wet out. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I say water, not water. I'm gone. Oh, is that. Is that? It's just a dialect that I just, oh, that's the word. there it is there it take a sip of your one i see you keep looking at it i'm just all right if you guys know me which i feel like you do by now you know i love my phone we all do probably more than we should but my phone is it's a very important part of my day it allows me to stay in touch with my family my friends get work done on the go just keep up with my life i really cannot imagine having to go even one day without my phone oh that's sad uh so the idea of it falling and breaking is terrifying and looking at all those hardcore protective cases out there,

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You do it all is basically what you're saying. Okay. So Uncommon James is Kristen Cavalry's jewelry line. But now it's kind of like it's a conglomerate. So you've got Uncommon James. You have Little James which is the baby line and you have Uncommon James Home, which is the Home decor. And so Kristen started it literally in her office, which is probably this big. Really?

And then, mm-hmm. And there was only three. of us that got hired and then the show happened and here we are with hundreds like literally I think it roped out like 130 employees and like three well one temporary store in LA one in Nashville and now a third in Chicago we're in like a hundred Nordstroms and it's just really like blew up overnight so it's been it's been really cool so saying that the reason why no one knows what the hell I do is because when I first got started I was literally like rover all over yeah you know like okay how do we do this okay we got to get the website okay well the store's opening okay we

got to train people okay like we had like payroll right which is obviously you i mean i know you won't admit to this but i'm going to pump your tires you're like a huge part of the success because you do we we're talking about this last night you wear so many hats and you just you can do a lot of things and you added a lot of value to the company i i mean yeah i mean like without without christin pushing me to do it or trusting me to do it i wouldn't have done it right of course well it takes somebody to you know first of all bring you on and then to trust you and then see the effort and the value that you bring to the company and you've proved yourself and that's why yeah and there's a whole show around it yeah i'm like are you is there's everybody else just kind of this season's been so weird because like

literally it's it's i like i'm the only one left besides colby d from like the original yeah so it's been it's been a wild ride of figuring out like what's gonna like like you know yeah so kind of i mean just kind of wrap up in a way what season one and two because she has all these stores but then she has a show around it called Very Cavalry and then it's it's kind of the behind the scenes would you say of running the businesses yeah I mean and which is scary because

like the behind the scenes of running a business in its first year is like a nightmare you know in and of itself like you're showing every nook and cranny of an issue that you could ever have because truthfully like you know she started it and that was it same thing like she doesn't really I don't I actually don't think she has any college background either She was just like, I'm a business woman, I'm going to do it. I'm going to figure it out.

Yeah, you have it in you sometimes. And then, you know, with me, yeah, okay, I've been in business and I've had small businesses with my, you know, like my ex-boyfriends and things like that. But none of it was retail. So this was a whole new world for me too. Most of it was like hospitality or like promo based. So the season one really focused on the company like showing up. Like it had been just under a year together and she was getting a store together.

And it was the very first store was in Nashville. And it really kind of solidified the fact that Kristen and Jay are in Nashville now, and this is their home. Right. And she's establishing this business and what kind of goes around that, which is the employees that she has. Yeah. And that was drama in and of itself. One, because we were all figuring out our own way. And two, we're... It's a new store working out the Kings doing all that. Yeah. Of course. And two, the people, everybody besides Kristen had absolutely no experience in being in reality TV. And so it was a nightmare in figuring out a lot of things.

things like who to trust and you know who's got your back and yeah what's good for story and like you know what basically like and sticking with your morals well right you're like literally the word no I don't even know when it came out but I remember like one moment just being like nah I'm not doing that and I miced off you know and at first I was like man that makes me feel like a div up and I was like you know what at some point you have to stick up for yourself and it's not that like I don't think they would they will take it as far as you let it yeah I don't think anyone's like walking into the scene being like I'm going to make her do this they're just they're following it right so if you're going to be extra they're going to figure extra

yeah um so season two was kind of like all right now it's turned into a business right now we're established here we are and yeah because with the launch of season one on online I don't think we ever really fully fathomed the amount of growth that was going to happen I mean we went from hundreds of orders of thousands like literally overnight that's amazing it is but it's scary because then you're like we have to hire more people right right you got a pulse come on in yeah like we gotta get these boxes out right and so then then season two is really kind of focused around like we have all of this business and we don't really to and a lot of it I take on my shoulders is like I didn't really have the experience to foundationally make sure that everything

was like you know like I'm not a buyer planner I don't know how much to order or when to order and you know Kristen's kind of just you know figuring out herself with like she's she's at this point now she understands design completely but when it came to how to order like all of that stuff that's a whole other ballgame. And she's very hands-on, right? You know, like I think we were talking about this before we started recording is there's a difference between slapping your name on something and actually being invested in what you're doing in the longevity of it and being passionate about it as well and showing up.

Which I think that it makes it that much more, it gives it that much more credibility. Yeah. But it also is scarier for her because it, I mean, it is 100% her, you know, and she's totally have you ever done disk like d i sce so it's basically like uh almost like a you think i know i didn't even know what it was you think i know what d i s c is it's like it's basically these personality tests that a lot of like companies use and okay yeah and so anyway so she's like a very like you know she's a direct human like she's a leader she's leader on all fronts yes and so you know when things don't go right everything does come back on her you know not only because it's the

business and she's 100 percent invested of it because she's literally the face of the brand It's her name. Yeah, it's her. Yeah, it's her. There's nothing else. Like, it's, it's all her 100% her. So when things go wrong, I mean, we're not just getting it on Common James or we're not just getting on a very cavalier or people aren't just writing customer service.

Like, they're literally going after her Instagram. Right. You know? So season two is kind of like focused around. Like, how can we make this now legitimate, like, big business be successful for the future? We'll be back with more off the vine with Caitlin Bristow. Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow transitioning into season three, people are now invested in you as a human being and your relationships and people have seen, you know, your relationships with either guys or friends or things happening where they're like, oh, let's see that side of it too. Is that, are we going to see a lot of that in season three?

I think so. I think now that we're in a place where we can really, we can really focus on the good, stuff now you know like I think we've gone through the hard times of the season two like okay like the box issue or whatever it was and now it's like okay we've now we have an established business with departments and you know it's not as it's not as fun when things are going completely right right you know what else can we get and so um you know my life personally in the last couple of months has taken a dramatic turn so I'm I'm hoping people will still be on board when they see what's up but well it's going to be I mean first of I'd like to point out that I think people also see

they watch a reality show and they think of people as characters instead of real human beings. So they look and they're like, they probably think you don't even actually work for the company, you know? Oh, my own family didn't think I actually work for the company. No way. Yes, my two aunts came to town and they were like

had this fight and they're like, you just want to just come to the store to see if Brinney actually worked there. And I was like, oh my God. You're like, I work my ass off here, you guys. Guys, I have a salary. Yeah. It's not just like a check from the show. I'm not even going to lie. I mean, a lot of TV shows are like that. So when I first met you and you're like, I got to go to work. I'm like, oh, what did she do? I wonder. Like, surely she

doesn't work for God and James. I know. I'm just going to go to real estate. It's fascinating to people that that. And you're not just a character on the show. And I think people need to remember that when they're watching too, because you're going through real life issues and ups and downs. And you're sharing that with the world. And as much as people think they know you just. from watching, you know, an hour of that show every week. There's so much more to the story. And I just, I think for me personally, I, well, I know you now and now we're friends and I know things.

I'm like, God, I really hope that comes through in season three, you know? Oh, yeah. But the other thing, though, is like, you open yourself up to, like, what makes you relatable and vulnerable also makes you subject to, like, a lot of criticism, you know? And so I'm really nervous because last year, last year was really, like, a moment for me as far as, like, a leader and a manager and, like, how to deal with people and all that stuff and I failed you know I did some things that like you know I got upset I lost my cool and I'm there's a lot of stuff that I'll turn back on like gosh that was cringe really like

what was I doing but I think that's human right so then then people are like wow you should be fired or like you cry too much and I was like but if I but if I didn't then I'd be like a stuck up bitch like what do you want do you want you'll never win in that world you will never I mean you will no matter what you're doing on TV you're to this you're to that it doesn't matter. Yeah. So you might as well just be yourself because it doesn't matter. Yeah.

It's exhausting to try and be somebody else. If you're yourself, you're going to be too something no matter what. Yeah. You know, you're going to be too emotionally. You're going to be too. We all are too something at one point in our lives. And if it was all on TV, you know, we'd all be judged for it. And that's the other thing that I would, like, encourage people to understand is that, like,

it is so much easier to place a blame or to place a judgment on something that you have never experienced in your life. Mm-hmm. You know, you have never gone, yes, I signed up for this. And I know that, like, people are going to come back and be like, well, she's the one that wanted to do it. And like, okay, of course. But, like, I challenge anybody mentally to deal with going through life and life happenings and having it on film. And you, I mean, you sign up for it, but you never sign up for the gravity of what it actually holds.

Yeah, it looks fun. Yeah. You're like, great. I could take some criticism, but I'll be like on TV and I'll be able to start brand and I'll be able to, like, really build. something from this but you do not understand what you're signing up for in the long run of what how heavy it actually is and can be which then i like think about you know like in christian's world where she's like 17 or like even you like 10 times the amount of exposure that i'm at right now and and how it's handled is like i mean you guys are super graceful about it i'm not too much i clap back so hard

yes but nope if you think about it that's that probably comes with with time uh i wonder you know like when christin was going through everything she was on the Hills, they didn't have social media. I mean, they had so many nasty magazines and, you know, just websites people could go on and they couldn't stand up for themselves. But I'm sure in those first years, if they could, they would. Where now you've kind of like, you know, you get, you get thick skin or you build up some sort of tolerance for it. Or you just see like, you know, those people don't matter. I think that comes with time. So I let, I'm all for a good clapback. I'm all for like standing up for yourself

I get so annoyed when people tell me to ignore the haters because I'm like I ignore hundreds of haters but I would like to stick up for myself at one point here and there I know do they ever tell you but like just imagine like they're probably in the basement of your mom's house I'm like it doesn't matter I don't care if you're in the basement of your mom's house like be nice like treat everybody like you treat your mom

who's making your dinner and then people are like oh they only have they have zero followers they clearly made up the account to just say this I'm like yeah that means that's probably one I know. They just, you know, it's probably someone or that they feel that, like, like, they feel that bad about it or that upset about it. But they need to go out of their way to make up an account. Like, they really hate you.

Yeah. Because you know, you have to, like, you know, make up a name and then, like, make sure that your, your birthday matches so that you can, like, you know, actually go on and be of age. And then I worry. That is premeditated. I've never made up, um, a fake account. And then I wonder if somebody did and you know how it gives you suggestions to follow below. I'm like, are those based on like, your.

your people that you follow will you get caught that way because when somebody says something nasty I look at their page and they have like zero followers and then it says suggestions below and like and it's somebody like I know oh no I'm like oh really yeah I'm going to look at this I don't I don't know it's just I find it a little bit fascinating but like yeah I just always I'm like who's behind there who are you who is the wizard behind the car are you and also do you come to my shows do I take pictures with you and I'm nice, but then you like bash me behind. I don't know. I don't know. And you know, you never know who that is. But again, you're still, you're in the first couple years of it. And people are just always going to have something negative to say no matter what you do. And I think for Kristen, she probably has realized that. And then she's like, uh, you let me build an empire. Yeah. You know, like so now she's. Also, she's a mom and she has like other things in life. I think once you get to that, like, like the podcast and stuff, you have so much other things going on. I have. Right. This. And I'm sure you feel like it, at this point, even for the company, it matters what people think of you. But it doesn't.

Yeah. It doesn't. It's, I mean, I kind of like that you get to go through all of this. Because there's probably a lot of people who are, they understand you as well, right? You get a lot of people. I get a lot more. Yeah. I would say, I would say what I am fortunate about is that I don't have a lot of controversial things going on, which I'm unsure I might be still the case this year.

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To learn more about things to underwear that absorbs your period, visit periodbetter.com and use code Vine to get $10 off your first pair. How did you even get on the show? so it kind of happened simultaneously she was um there was obviously casting for the show yeah and um the agent that i had been working for um is also a friend of hers and so i met her really i've met her when i was working at bar taco and i was a waitress essentially and she would come in with with with mark and um and so somewhere along the line of the casting and and building the business i think the conversation might have come like you should ask her to put in her resume too and so i did you know

And Kristen, I went through the interview process, just like everybody else does. And I sat with Kristen and I explained her everything I could do and showed her my experience. And I got the job. And I just have been proving myself ever since. That's so great. I mean, I know you. And we hang out and I'm like, I hope you know the value that you bring to certain things. Like, I know.

I just worry about taking it for granted. You know, like I think that there's a part. It just, I've watched people be like, the word safe is wrong because I think you should always feel secure in what you do but I think maybe just hungry I don't want to forget that like it could end you know like this is like this is all a great ride but like

where does it go from here? Well if you stay true to yourself and if you keep hustling the way you do and the way you are you're only going to grow and it's only going to get better. It's just it's a it's about your character like and I don't mean your character on the show I mean like your personal character it's about

it's always about just you're the kind of person that you're very grounded and you know who you are and you're learning as you go to and you're going through things now and in life and in relationships where you're figuring that out more than ever and I think that's going to be super important when it comes to your career path because I think you're going to feel and I think you do feel confident in what you do and you love what you do and you're good at what you do and you're learning about yourself while you're at it and you are exposed on a TV show but I think that's going to give you thick skin and I just think you're

going to keep growing. Yeah. I hope so. I mean, I get where you're coming from because I always do that too where it's one of my downfalls where I think, okay, everything's so great. So what's going to happen next? It's like, we're going to shoot a drop. Always. It's like during day. It's like doing day planning. Yes. It's almost like, you know, like when they said like a like baby boomers, you'll have like a basement and with like canned goods like waiting for like the next like, you know, like bombing or whatever. Like I feel like internally I do that. I'm holding things. I'm like, okay, well, I can do this, but I'm going to wait. And just in case, like, this happens and I still know I can do this.

And I have this in my back pocket. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, why do I'm a plan? I don't know. Well, the more you, you know, this is, you're in year two of this company, right? Year three. So, I mean, it's still new. And it's, it's the unknown.

That's always uncomfortable. Yeah. But as you, like, it's not like the store is doing bad. No. You guys are killing it, you know? So you can. There's so much room to grow and evolve and, and, continue to do better and keep the job that you have and kill it.

But I think it's even like, because it's not just uncommon dreams that made me feel like this. I have been this way. And I think every boyfriend who is, I've dumped in the process of figuring myself out can attest that I, even my grandfather, I remember being like essay or going through SATs or testing and be like, don't talk to Britney this week. She's crazy. I think I throw myself so hardcore into like ragged bones. Because particularly I think it's just like the way I was. pinned. You know, like I was pinned as like, oh, you're the pretty girl with big boobs. Yep. Oh, you're a millennial. Like when people say, oh, you're a millennial, you, you don't like to work.

I'm like, oh, okay, well, I'll show you. I'll work three times as hard. You're a woman, you know, like, it's like, these little small stigmas of things that you're like, you can't, you can't do it, or you won't do it or whatever. And instead of just sitting back and being like, you know what, you go ahead and say, I'm going to do it anyway, I feel like I have to prove it. So I work so raggedly. And it's, it's weird. It's like, I don't ever want anyone to turn. around and be like she can't i don't know i don't know it's i think it's just come it's a come of age but here's the thing is you don't have to prove anyone but you keep doing it like you you are proving people without even knowing it you know what i mean like you have it in you and you just by being

who you are and having the knowledge and education and just who you are yeah you get to be the hot girl and show them all that like you're more than that that's the least interesting thing about you does it not scare you a little bit like i think about it and i'm like wow i'm 30 years old not married nowhere near it now yeah uh no kids renting an apartment with a dog that excites me it excites me but then you think about you're like okay like in my mom's age like that wouldn't really fly definitely not my grandparents age like right but would you want to be in that no but then i wonder like how in my head I'm like okay so like do I start thinking about 401ks like do like retirement plans like yes you know but like things like that that you like you really kind of like my 20s were like I lived in an island when I was in my 20s right you know I was like I think in my head I really wasn't I was brought up like okay you're special you could do whatever you want and whatever it is yeah and my mom was like but you but in order to be stable you have to have this like really high paying job that

you know you're a doctor and it's legitimate and you're going to have all these things and it's going to make you safe and secure in your life and I was like but but there you go that's a belief system that they had that you don't have and you you are proving them wrong and proving yourself right yeah so it's like you're like I'm 30 and should I be doing this no you should be doing exactly what you're doing right now it's not like you don't know what you love and you don't know your passions and you don't have a job and you know like you're going is this common knowledge that you and john I've broken up. Okay. So, you know, you're going through this breakup. You're figuring yourself out as an independent woman. A lot of people don't have a career path and are going through a breakup. You have a lot going for yourself and you have this amazing dog and you have the ability to get your own apartment and you have so much. And 30 is like the best restart time of your life. 30 is going to be like in four years, which is going to go very quickly by the way. let me tell you I'm 34 and you blink and you go from 30 to 34 and you will look back and be

like 30 was such a pivotal amazing time in my life where I got to figure out who I am as Brittany and not as somebody's girlfriend and not as this like you are going to look back at this time with so much compassion for yourself yeah and it's really like an exciting time no it's totally exciting but I get what you mean I mean I totally have empathy for you in a way where I get it and we all have been there it's like the red pill right like in your 20s like I can do anything and I'm special whatever and then you like turn 30 and you go oh oh mortgage right like oh bills right and you start thinking about the the responsibilities of like oh responsibility yeah I mean but that's and at 40 you'll think about the responsibility of a child and you know like

there's so many different phases in life where this one it's like god just I mean live like you are let me live but you are living i'm living tell me about i'm definitely not dead i tell everybody that all time i've you're in your freaking prime right now like and you're gonna be for the next like 20 years like i started i looked at pictures of me now like when i was in my 20s i was like man i was so happy in my 20s i was living in my life but damn in my 30s am i ready like i'm just like all right let's go girl 30s are the best pay my own checks yeah and doesn't it feel good yes yeah yeah i feel like i got the tap i got it yeah it's one of my favorite things to do by the way. I know. I know. I'm like, it's going to come a time of it. We're going to have to start

doing this thing. We're like paying out of the tab, like, ahead of time. You know what my favorite thing in the world? I remember working in restaurants. And I remember hockey players always came in. And in Canada, that was like, you know, they're like celebrities. So if hockey players came into your section, it was like, oh, you got to make sure they're happy. And I remember thinking it was so cool that at the end, you know, they have so much money, they're athletes. And they'd put everybody's credit card into a hat. And the server would have to either pick and the last credit card picked that's who would have to pay or you pick whose name you liked the best and you could just you know and I always thought I'm like oh I can't wait till I'm like you know

grown up and have my own career and making money and like my girlfriend yeah it's like credit card and just be like which which one of us girls is going to get it you know and now we're you know so we have to be proud of where we're at right now that's true yeah it is it is kind of the age of independence giving holiday gifts is great seriously who doesn't love that, but overspending on all those gifts is definitely not. So why spend more than you have to? Finding the lowest price is super easy if you have honey. Honey is a free browser extension that automatically finds the best promo codes whenever you shop online. This means you always get the best deals without even trying on over 20,000 sites such as Amazon, eBay, J-Crew, Sephora, Expedia,

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We'll be back with more off the vine with Caitlin Bristow. Hey, everyone, if you like my show, then you're going to love the dish with Trish. Join host Trisha Paitis every week as she gives you the inside access to all the tea. She'll be doing interviews with fun guests and opening up about relationships, drama, rumors, even some exclusives on her life that you won't get anywhere else. Nothing is off limits when it comes to Trish's world, so don't miss the dish with Trish every week on Apple Podcasts and Podcasts 1. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. How are you dating? I am dating.

Okay. Now, I know how TV world works too. So I'm like, how much can you share? what do you want to share what do you want to talk about i am i am all over the place i you know what i think like in our in our friendship it's one of the things that like i have been very good in our girl group to be honest about it's like i know right now that i enjoy not giving myself a curfew because i'm worried about how someone else is going to feel yeah so saying that like i am having fun and i am getting butterflies and i am going on dates but it's nice to be like i'm not there yet in a relationship

like I don't know that I'm ready to be you're focusing on you again yeah you really are though because you're like we know like you meet people and people are interested in you you're a very yeah someone actually today at the event some like massage therapist I literally I walked away and I go did he just flirt with me and was like are you kidding me he said something I was like oh you know do you do this for a living or whatever and he's like yeah just to make girls like you fall in love with me and I was like oh that's so sweet I walked away there I was like did he just hit on me Yes, he did. So then I walked, I walked back to, like, make sure I did it right.

And I was like, oh, I left my bag over here. Like, I was like, I'm going to go work out now. I'll see you guys later. And he's like, oh, come back soon. We'll miss you. And I was like, oh, my God. Isn't that fun? Stella has her groove back.

Like, I can totally do this, you know? I realize how much I love first dates. Like, I'm into, like, just hanging out. Like, just no, no, no, like, I don't, I can do whatever I want. And you can be like, you know what? hold that thought i got to go work yeah and i have to go away to chicago to help open a store i've actually been like you know what this is not actually working oh we don't yeah i literally had the conversation i was like you know what i i'm happy to pay half the tab yeah but this honestly

this conversation has been so terrible like i really think you need to pick that up oh i did it i did it i was so proud of myself oh my god i would skip out of there just like get it girlfriend oh my gosh good for you yeah well i i literally I talked to somebody. Actually, it was you. I said it yesterday because someone was trying to set me up and I was like, man, if I don't immediately feel it right now, I'm just going to be like, it's not. Yeah. Because I spent four years trying to make something work that didn't. And you know how, yes, exactly. And you know how girls always hate being ghosted. It's like girls ghost guys too. I love when people are just straight up. You know, like this conversation actually isn't working. You're great. Happy to split the bill. Can't work out. Like, you know, this isn't going to work every time. This one didn't work out. See you around. Right. I love that. Because like what's the point in being. passive aggressive and it's so true like that four years of of especially the age that you were in that's such a time in your life to get to know yourself and to you know so to be in a relationship where you're feeling and i'm not putting words in your mouth but maybe feeling like held back or that you can't fully be yourself or you're looking out for somebody's emotions over your own

that's it's just not no what you need in your life and actually like i said i've been very in tune with like my spirituality lately and by that I mean like I've been talking to an astrologer and like I'm getting into readings and one of the things that he did say was that I'm in I think it's I think it's seven but there's a it's a it's the number in your life it's a the period in your life where you're doing a cleansing he said and I thought it was a craziest thing I literally I just broke down and cried about it because I was like oh you're right like this is I had literally said just before I walked into the conversation that I am at this point in my life where if it doesn't serve me,

I'm not doing it. And I'm happy to be like, I'm not going in this place. I don't want to deal with this. I think it was a quote or something I saw on Lady Gaga's Instagram where she was like, I stopped caring about how everyone was going to view me and just be like, I don't want to go to that event. I don't want to talk to those people.

I don't want to get in that dress. I don't want to. And there's no reason why, just because I'm not at Lady Gaga's level that I can't have that same thing at this age. I don't want to talk to those people. I don't, that doesn't serve me. I'm tired of talking shit.

Like I want to, if it doesn't make me happy. And I'm not immediately attracted to it, whether it's spiritually, sexually, physically, mentally, I don't want it. And who cares if people think that is selfish because we should all be selfish in our lives to figure it out. And then, you know, it's like, okay, when you have kids, that's when you stop being selfish. You know, when you're in a relationship where you are making sacrifices or you're compromising, okay, but right now in your life, be selfish. Yeah. Like one of my favorite things that one of my best friends does, I will give all the props to Brie.

my best friend. She is such a great mom. And I love watching her. I've known her since I was seven years old. And I have watched her go through so many phases of her life. And she, her as a mom is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen because she's, I just, she was like my party friend. We've done crazy things. And then she had kids. And I'm like, what? You're like the best mom. And I'll watch her. And so when her little kids, she has two boys. And if they don't want to do something, like, I mean, to an extent, she's also like, you know, if her kids have to brush their teeth, they're going to brush their teeth. Right. But if somebody comes up and says, like, hey, what's your name or like something? And they don't want to say it. She goes, you don't have to. You don't have to say your name.

If you don't want to, if you don't feel comfortable right now, you just keep it to yourself. You don't have to. And I love watching her do these little things where she's just, you can tell she's building their character to be like, where they still have, they have manners. Like you wouldn't believe. They're sweet souls. they have responsibilities they clean up their toys they brush their teeth they know like you know they go to their own bed and they have a little clock in their room where they get up at this time

they wait till the clock says and they're very structure but if they're uncomfortable she lets them do what makes them more comfortable you know and I just think that's something that's maybe new in in this you know world of raising kids or maybe it's not maybe it's just something I mean my mom was kind of cool she would let me like color on walls and stuff but then at the same time oh yeah my mom was very like well your mom's an artist right my mom would that was so like but then i also had to do laundries i was like what is this this feels militant and that doesn't well i'm confused but she was that is confusing i was like what i mean so honestly like the way i live my life is is organized chaos so thanks mom thank you for the organized chaos you go and we can

all thank our parents for something because my way of rebelling when i was little was carving my name or drawing on walls like i would like carve something in the wall like my initials or i'd write something I remember taking crayon in the same color as my door in writing that I hated my sister it was like this rebellious thing that I did so when you're like my mom let me draw them all I was like what yeah but see but see then fast forward to my 30s my mom was one of the catalyst to this whole breakup situation because the conversation had been to her about like oh you know we're we're thinking about going on this road blah blah blah blah and my mom was on the phone with with John and literally was like do you even know my daughter like because he used the word

convince her to do something. And my mom was like, I have not ever tried to convince, nor can I convince Britney. Bernie march is the beat of her own drum and she has her entire life. You know, she'll march with the band. Right, right. But she's going to be doing whatever she wants, whether it's in the middle or that, yeah. She's going for

a drum solo. She's going for a crazy drum solo. She'll show up. I don't know if it's on time, but she'll be there. So true. And then somebody has to really appreciate that about you. Yeah. That's something I've learned along the way is that this is so funny. because somebody said something the other day and now it sticks with me an insult somebody was like stop talking about yourself on the podcast and I'm like but I just relate to certain stories and people

so you whoever said that yeah but I'm like it's also not like your name dropping you're not like oh I was hanging out with share and she said this you know like I did hang out with share the other no I'm just kidding no I'm okay wait actually that's cool if I did I would tell me more about yourself no but like I think I always wanted to please the other person and And I always somehow got in a little bit of trouble for being myself because my parents always told guys, I'll never forget, like being on the show, bringing guys to my family. And they were like, you need to know that Caitlin is a like flirt. She's a big personality and she's never going to change.

And everyone, what are they going to say? Of course they're like, yeah, that's what we love about her. No one is. That's always been a thing in the relationship where it's been a downfall apparently. but I never change Jason loves it about me like he's just like you know if my jaw doesn't drop once a day where you say something outrageous like it's not a day in a good relationship but that's like you know it's like can we go back to the whole flirt thing though like like like what is wrong with because that was a girl contention right that was the one contention

like 10 times in this podcast that was the one contention in my last relationship where it was just like you have eyes it's like no I don't but like someone said at one time like you can look what's on the menu I'm not going to order it you know like there's nothing wrong with appreciating other people for like and it's not necessarily their looks either it's like some people are really funny yeah some people are really i don't know maybe really smart and i remember having a conversation with a guy that was a an analyst for something and no one ever cares about it but the way that he talked about his job i was just so interested and it got me in trouble because what because i showed interest in what he was doing i'll tell you why you got

in trouble because it takes away the attention of someone else and it's their insecurities it's and and I know this and I can put this on myself because I've been there I my last relationship if it was another fitness girl I felt so insecure in the relationship that if he was going on a you know going to do a fitness video with this really hot girl who is banging body I'd be like why wouldn't he leave me for her because I didn't feel loved so you know what it's it's it was my insecurity and it was my problem and it stemmed from me not feeling like I've that didn't feel safe. I didn't feel loved. I felt like he could leave me at any second because there was a lot of like guilt tripping and shame around who I was. Yeah, 100% I hear you. So

and it works both ways in all relationships. So it's just about security in, in yourself and in the relationship. And now I'm like, I can look at beautiful women all the time with Jason. And I've never thought I'd be there in a relationship. And Jason would like, oh my God, that girl's gorgeous. And I'm like, totally. Which I'm like, and then I look back, I go, good for you, Caitlin. Yeah. I just feel so. Yeah.

I just feel like in such a better place in life because one, I'm happy with myself and two, I'm happy in the relationship. Right. And those are two very important things. You're getting enough out of it to where it doesn't like. And I think too, like it's in where I'm at now and I really hope that this person realizes it at some point. That just because someone shows interest or engages in another human being, it doesn't mean that it takes away. from any amount of love or or care or or adornment for you right you know like someone someone you know like in in the case of the fitness gal you know like yeah i i'm the same way like if someone

i said this before like someone will always be prettier or smarter or or more engaged or maybe even worth more than whatever you could be but they're not you and and when you realize that that person really adores you yeah then it then it's then it's over because it's like great she's got better hair than I do, but he, I mean, at the end of the day, he's still going to, you know, brush my hair against my face and kiss me on the forehead and not her, you know? It's so true, but it's so hard to get there with somebody because how rare is it to find somebody that can be that vulnerable and actually just like make you feel that every day? Yeah.

It's very rare, sadly. Or more of those, the communication. Like, if said person was feeling insecure, I used to say all the time, I'm like, all you need to do is tell me to love you a little extra today. Yeah. And I will do that. Yeah. You know, it's different if you're coming and you're like, you're fucking looking at other

people and you did a da, instead of just being like, you know what, babe, like, I mean, I think you're great, but I just feel insecure. Can you just like, that's everything? Can you just like, you know, jiggle the old balls? I don't know. I did not see that one coming. And I really respect that. I'm like, and I'm looking at you like, yeah, jiggle the balls.

Yes. What? I have a funny story actually this morning last night I got home from hanging out with you and I got into bed and Jason was half asleep but I was like all cuddly and he was kind of like and in the morning ramen gets between us and we don't even cuddle in the morning anymore because ramen's just like right there and we both love it so much but we pay all of our attention to rock now in the morning and I got up and I said something so stupid I was brushing my teeth and I looked at him and I was like well we're not even in

love anymore and I'm joking obviously and I'm saying it in a funny baby voice stupid way and he was like he this is exactly what he said to me honey you can't say things like that okay you you have to actually think about what you're saying that really hurts my feelings and if you'd like to deliver it in a different way and just ask for what you need I'm happy to give that to you wow and I was like god damn it you are so good and I was like that is so fair and I was like I and I was like well just kidding and he's like no i know you're kidding but that's not how you say it i was like god he is so yeah but it's not an argument no no no no no direct line of just like this is communication it wasn't like isn't it crazy when you start communicating you're like wow this doesn't have to turn

an argument things don't have to go crazy i don't have to throw things out the window i had mad anxiety i still have anxiety but like it was to a point where if if i always get so weird saying sean for some reason because i think everybody knows who that is but i always say my ex if he said something if i said something like that to him and he said oh my god here we go again katelyn throws a fit gets insecure oh mine would be like brittany brittany are we having another tantrum i can't deal with that yeah and you treat me like a child because because because what does it do it riles you because you're like i'm not a kid and then you start stamping the like literally i'm not child self right yeah oh i know i know it's when and the and the therapist we used to go to

it would be like when you minimize her feelings she's going to maximize it like it's just how it is you just have to acknowledge it make it a statement and work through it like a in a loving way yeah but if you act like the father i'm going to act like the child and that's just how it's so true i would literally throw a tantrum or a feel and it would throw my whole day off yes and i'd be so insecure and now when he goes honey that hurts my feelings and this is how you say i was like oh god damn okay okay and then that's all it took and i went yeah that's very fair Or like the other day I was talking to someone and I, uh, he actually hurt my feelings and I just was like, hey, I just want to throw this out there. Like, you know, next time that, you know, when you, basically this guy said he was going to call and he ended up having, um, something to do, which I get because I get into work to. Um, and one of the points of contention in my last relationship was that we just really never took that time. And so, um, I waited for this said human to call me and he didn't. And then he like, text me later and was like, oh, what's up? Blah, blah, blah. Like nothing happened. And I was like, hey, you know what? Um, this kind of communication is not going to. Um, um, this kind of communication is not going to. Um, work if you can't because we're also on another group text yeah so I was watching him group text

and then not call me yeah and I was like here's a thing yeah if you have time to text then you could have texted me that you weren't available to talk and so like next time maybe let me know because that makes me feel like I'm unimportant right and not a priority and if that's the case and we have to have a different conversation yes and literally the call was like I am so sorry you were totally right yep like I don't I need to be right but it's nice to know that I'm validated it's yeah it's not about being right it's that you're heard right that's it I was just just having this conversation with my girlfriend also. She said the same thing.

It's like always routine. He's away a lot. He always calls her when he's done. And it said she saw him on Instagram stories and not responding to her text. And I've done this too where I say to Jason like, I see what? You didn't respond to me. And I see you on Instagram. Right.

And it's, it's, I love the line. I thought this was the standard. But if it's not, let's have a conversation. That's so good. Because then they go, whoa, that was really mature. and I don't want to have that other conversation. You're right. I'll change.

You know, like, it's just such a healthy way to address us a problem is by saying, hey, I thought this, but if that's not where we're at, I guess we have to have a conversation about it. Like, that's such a good line. We should reset the standard. Yeah. Oh, okay. I just didn't know. I guess that's what we have to do.

You know, and then they're like, oh, damn, she didn't snap at me. Because the second you lose it and attack, nobody wants to be attacked. No. If you come at it with a very mature level head and say, This actually bothered me. And next time here's the, they're like, oh. Don't you love in like therapy? And they're like, oh, you know, sometimes when people like get a little upset, people shut down.

I go, no, no, no. Anyone gets yelled at they shut down. Yeah. That's not unheard of. Yeah. It's a thing. Oh, this is like a cosmic thought over here. Yeah.

When you get yelled at, some people shut down. Like, no. I'm so funny. I just love it because every conversation in life with relationships or business relationships or friendships, common theme everywhere. There's always a common theme, and it just boils down to communication and how you deliver something. Yeah.

All right, Vino's, we are going to make this a two-part podcast because I enjoyed chatting with Brittany so much, and I think she has so many great things to say. So tune back in on Thursday for Great Therapy with Part 2 of Brittany Taylor. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast1.com. the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV? Sponsors for this week's Off the Vine are,

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