Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Brittany Furlan Lee | Life Beyond Vine with Tommy Lee and Stand-Up Comedy!

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

#799. Kaitlyn Bristowe sits down with the effortlessly funny Brittany Furlan Lee for an unfiltered girl chat you don’t want to miss. Brittany shares the highs and cringes of her Vine fame, why she thinks stand-up comedy is a dying art, and hilarious tales from her time on the dating app Raya—including which celebs are still swiping (hello, John Mayer and Ben Affleck!). They dive into Brittany’s marriage with Tommy Lee, how they keep their relationship solid, and her approach to managing anxiety. Plus, Brittany dishes on her podcast, wild listener stories, and which celeb she’d love to be (hint: it’s Penelope Cruz!). Grab a glass of wine and tune in for laughs and real talk! If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Ouai: Go to THEOUAI.com for 15% off sitewide and enter promo code VINE. Better Help: Visit BetterHelp.com/VINE today to get 10% off your first month. Dime: Head over to DIMEBeautyCO.com to check out their clean and affordable skincare. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario i'm katelyn bristow your session is now starting all right you guys welcome to the all right you guys welcome off the vine i'm your host katelyn bristow today we have a queen of comedy and an internet legend joining us we have brittney furlin lee she was the most followed person on vine for a while there and now she's a comedian, married to Tommy Lee.

They're so cute. And I just belly laughed with her. It was like two girls getting together to, yeah. Let's fucking start off of the banger with OCD. I was so psycho about symmetry. Oh, wow. Even like on clothing, like everything had to be even. And so.

My pants are like, my, got to pull them out. That's all right. Breaking at like the Red Sea. Okay, all right, here we go. All right, here we go. All right. Had to adjust the lips. All right.

We're good. I like what people just say what's on their mind. Sorry, I had to be. No, that's truly incredible. What did I see? You had an OCD as a kid? See, I also have ADHD because my brain just jumped to lips and something. Do we all have ADHD now?

I think so. I feel like everyone does. I get on the internet and everyone's like, I'm autistic. I have ADHD, everybody. Everyone. And I'm like... Maybe we all do a little bit. I do think we all have a little bit because of the scrolling and because of the internet.

But I... Right our brain stuff. No, I forget what I was saying. What was it? younger, you're obsessed with symmetry. So that's what got me into my Botoxin filler journey because I was like, I need my face to be symmetrical. And I now have to go to a point where the girl who does my injections,

she'll be like, no, you're delusional. And I was like, okay, good, thank you for telling me that. I am delusional. Your injector's really good because you look very natural. You don't have a pillow face at all. I'm so scared of pillow face. Your forehead's moving. Oh, I've got too much movement up there right now.

Yeah, we could use a little both. You know why, though, is because I'm getting... I pulled out of my bag. Come on, girl. Come on. Boattox party. I can't. I am getting a blef, upper blef.

Are you why? You're so young. Here's the thing. I'm 39. We're just young. I'm 38. I do feel young. And we're just little teenage girlies.

I do feel like this is like the first year that I'm like, I think I know who I am. But I probably don't. But it's funny is when I stopped getting Botox, my eye started opening more. Oh. Which is interesting. Well, that's weird. I know. Oh, so now I'm like, oh, shit, do I even need one?

You get Botox, and you're just like, squinting at me. I'm like, are you mad? I'm like, girl, why you so mad? Botox? But usually you can't show expression, but I just always, I don't know. I just like, I have a sensitive forehead, I guess. Wow. But now I'm like, well, do I do it?

The appointment's in two days. Oh, I don't think you need anything. My little forehead Botox is what I would do. But I'm, but I am, see, I don't like any movement. I'm like, well, I do a little movement, but I don't like a lot. You know what I mean? I feel that. But that's just me, but you're so gorgeous.

Oh, thank you. You're good. I am tired. We're all tired. That's another thing. We're all tired with autism. That's what's happening here. We call this podcast.

Tired with autism, the podcast. Truly, I was in an elevator one time, and somebody was like, how are you doing, like, small talk? And I was like, I'm really tired. And they're like, same. I'm tired to. And then I went, honestly, who's not tired? Yeah. Who in this world is not tired?

And they love to interview them. high to be nice and then now you're going to your journey and unloading on them. They're like, Jesus Christ, you're like doing your trauma dump. They're like, I'm never going to ask anyone how they are again, ever. I traumatized them with my inner child work in the elevator. No, I just, it's true. I feel like everyone is freaking tired. I was just scrolling your Instagram, which, by the way, you're so funny and beautiful.

And like the wild rabbit that was just on your chest. Oh, my fell in my pool, my old pool. old house. Yeah, the little... So I would, like, feed these bunnies, like, every single night. They would come out to me. It was so weird. I would go out there and I'd have, like, apples. It was weird, yeah. And then, and then they would come out and I would feed them. And then I guess my dogs scared, scared the bunny, and she ran, and then she jumped to get away from the dogs. And she was in the pool. And then she let me pick her up and hold her and stuff. And then she still came every day after that to get apples. It was so cool. Yeah.

Do you have, like, um, a tennis shot? Oh, rabies shot? No, she didn't bite me. But, I mean, well, I think with people, you obviously can get rabies, but I think you can't get, like, a preventative shot. I think it's only if you get bit by something, then you go get... Did you hear about the lady, the teacher, who she had a bat in her classroom? Yes.

Did you hear about this poor lady? Yes. And she went to get the bat out of the classroom. I don't know if she was wearing gloves or not, but it bit her. Yes. And she didn't even go to the doctor. She just let the bat go. Didn't she die?

A month later. Guys, rabies is serious. If you get bit by any wild animals, go to the hospital because they can do something then. You know what I mean? But if you wait, it's like impossible to survive. Yeah, it's horrible. Isn't it weird dogs can get rabies shots,

but I don't think humans can get preventative. Well, then what is? Tetanus is if you get cut by like a rusty metal pole, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's tetanus. I know. I cut my finger open like 20 years ago and had to get a tetanus shot. Yeah, I remember.

I think I was drunk, too. And I was like, isn't this for rabies? And he was like, it's actually for tetanus. And I thought this whole time. I don't know. I clearly don't know what I'm talking about with rabies. It's hilarious. You know what?

I do want to say something, though, is that if you guys ever come across a possum, I think possums are so cute. No! You don't. They're in my yard all the time. They don't carry rabies. Oh, that's good to know. So you don't have to worry about possums.

Their body temperature's too low. So if you do come across a possum, they will go like that. But they don't. Don't they play dead? They play dead. They play possum. Yeah. But they will not, usually don't bite.

And if they do, they don't carry rabies. So you can always, people are always killing possums. And I'm like, can we not kill the possums? Why are people killing possums just because they're in their yard? Yeah. Or like they think that they carry rabies or whatever. And possums are great. They eat ticks.

Oh. Like they kill, you know, they eat ticks. They're great. I mean, they're amazing creatures. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay, fine. Raccoons carry rabies. Raccoons, skunk.

I'm terrified of because my dogs got sprayed. Yeah. Baby skunks, so cute, dude. Okay, from afar. A little, like, and then they do, like, the jump thing, like, they're scary. You think skunks are cute? So cute. What? Okay.

I love our, like, really having a special conversation. I'm like, let's talk about skunks, babies, and pasta. No, this is how, like, autism does run in my family. There's, like, several people. So it's like, if you talk about one of my special interests, I'm like, I'm going to tell you everything I know. And, like, you just have to cut me up. sweet no i don't want to i love talking about animals i also was freaking out at the your dog that got

bit by the coyote why are the coyotes just doing this to dogs well also did so in colorado i think it was colorado the coyote just grabbed a little girl by the back of her head a four-year-old listen and listen i i know all animals are obviously on earth for a reason they all have a purpose even then nasty animals the coyotes in my particular neighborhood of when I lived in Woodland Hills, they, people go, oh, my God, they're just starving, blah, blah, blah. I had 15 bunnies in my backyard. Yeah.

That were living very happily, okay? Here's the thing. Coyotes are opportunists. If they don't have to work as hard, they're going to go after what's easy. And dogs, cats, those things are way easier to catch than a rabbit. Yeah. So that's the thing is people, people go,

oh, the poor coyotes are starving. No, the coyotes are going like, you can get an easy meal. I can grab this slow-ass 10-year-old dog, and that'll be great. It's horrible. And, you know, all the bunnies, they're thriving. They're like, there's hundreds of bunnies. Is that why you moved? No, we were, we had been building a house in Brentwood for like four years,

and it just happened to be that that happened right before we moved. And actually, for four years living in Woodland Hills, I didn't see one coyote in my backyard. But the really scary thing is that he did come back. And my vet said that he would. came back, same spot sniffed the area my dogs were and we were gone, we were moved out by then but I saw him on the cameras and I was like,

this mother fuck I mean it was a horrible day. I think it took 20 years off my life. The blood curdling scream that you scrimped, I was... Because that's my dog, my Nina is, I've had her, she's 10, I've had her for so long, she's been with me through so much since I was 28 years old. You know, your life at 28 to now. Well, and some people just have, like, I feel like Rahman, my one dog is my soul dog.

Yeah, soul dog. Nina is my soul dog. Yeah. I mean, Teeny's great, too. My other one's great. She's four. She's so cute, but she's more like derpy. You know, she's like, oh.

Like, she's like, ball. You know what I mean? That's my other one. Yeah. She's like, I think this is like her first incarnation. Yes. You know? I don't think she's been here, but I think Nina's been like 700 lifetimes.

That is so my two dogs. I like ball. Like, you know, and her eyes go different. I'm like, bro, are you okay? She's like Kate Moss, like her eyes kind of. She's cute, though. Wait, that is so, Pino, my one dog is so derpy and is the only ball, that's the only thing that matters.

And Raman is, like, so intuitive and, like, knows what I'm feeling a certain way. You look into your eyes. Soul, yeah, he's everything. I wanted to talk about this at first, but obviously the brains go different directions. Yeah, no worries. Vine.

Oh, God. What? Does that make you cringe? It's so cringy. I look at my old, because it was just such a, I was in such a weird, like, I'm so grateful. Okay, first let me start off by expressing gratitude because it really changed my life. Yeah. Okay, so instead of doing that, let's be nice, and say, yes, it changed my life.

It was great. And Vine was this app where people could do, like, really quick, like, what was it, six-second videos. And so I was a stand-up, and then Vine came out, and then I got popular on Vine, and then I became a Vine star. And so it kind of like, it was like... You were the most followed female on Vine. Yeah. And it was just so funny because it was just me being so stupid. Yeah.

It was just the stupidest I could ever be. Yeah. And people were like, that's funny. You know what I mean? But I don't know. It was just like my real raw original self, I guess. What makes you cringe about it? Because it kind of took my life in a trajectory in a good way and a bad way.

I guess in a good way. My husband had actually followed me on that app. Really? Yeah. And thought I was funny and stupid. And so like then he ended up, we ended up getting married later, you know? I love that. I met up on Raya.

He ended up seeing me on Raya and was like, oh, my God, I love you. So that's a good thing. A great thing for, like, in terms of, you know, all the brand deals and the money and all that stuff's great. But then in terms of, like, you know, I came out here when I was 17 to be an actor and I had done theater and I had been doing stand-up for a while and everything like that. And then all that kind of just got pushed out the window and I became this like Vine Star. So it was like no longer stand-up, no longer actor, like just Vine Star.

You were kind of pigeonhole into like a Vine Star. Kind of a bummer, you know, and I think it's still kind of sits with me to this day. Although I have gone back to stand-up, so it's, you know. Yeah, see, I was like, that's so cool. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I'm grateful. I'm grateful. I get what you're saying.

I think life has a reason. It happened for a reason, so I'm grateful for what it's done. Yeah. You know, when you get kind of like your social media person is kind of, yeah, then you're that. But when did you get back into doing stand-up? About a year and a half ago now. Are you loving it? I was just like, I love it.

I mean, I did stand-up when I first came out. here. And then, you know, I only stopped because when I started Vine, I was like, oh, I don't need stand-up anymore. I'm performing for hundreds of thousands of people on this app every day. You know, when that went away, I was kind of like that creative void. I was like, I need to get back into performing. Plus, I love live performing. I know it's kind of a dying art, but I do love live performing. Do you think it's a dying art? Yeah. I mean, I think it's coming back in a way that there are a lot of people that actually are coming to the shows, which is great, you know. But I do think that because there's so much to see online

that people are... I know, I know, I know. I think about it this way, too, with like movies, for instance. Like, when I see a movie that's coming out, I'm like, oh, I really want to see that. But then I go, instead of, like, going to the theater, I'm like,

I'll just wait till it's on Netflix or I'll just wait until it's streaming or whatever, you know, and I think a lot of people do that instead of, you know, going and seeing stuff. Although, I will say the clubs have been good. I haven't had, like, any empty shows. So it's really good that way. But I don't know.

I don't know how people are about it. I feel like... Live comedy to me is like one of my favorite things to do. It's so fun. It's so... Yeah. The energy's great. You're not on your phone.

You're laughing. Yeah. And you're just like with... Like the energy of other people laughing with you. Yeah. I just love it. But I also love theater. I grew up loving theater and doing musical theater.

Where did you grow up? I grew up. I grew up in Philly. Oh, you did? Philadelphia. Well, outside of Philly, so Pennsylvania. Yeah. Yeah.

Canada. Oh, you're Canadian. Oh, that's cool. I grew up in Edmonton, well, just outside of Edmonton, and then I moved to Vancouver for 11 years, and then I moved. And then I was kind of, well, I was in L.A. and Nashville, but now I'm all. Wow. Yeah. And where's your favorite place to live? Honestly, the hands down, my most favorite place I ever lived was Newfoundland, Canada. Oh, wow. Like so east coast, people were amazing. So much to do. It was beautiful. It was, yeah, I just loved it. I don't, I feel like people do not give. in Newfoundland. And why don't you want to live there now? It's freezing. It's freezing. It's freezing. And you get stuck there a lot, like not a lot of flights in and out.

And I just, I love Nashville. I feel like I've got a house. I've yard for the dogs. I just feel like I can, like, be in the middle, fly to L.A. or fly to New York for podcasting and then just go home to my little sanctuary. I love Nashville, too. It's just great. Nashville's really cool.

And the people are really cool. Yes. The people are really cool. I feel like it feels like a small town, but it's still a big city. and I just feel like it hasn't been corrupted yet, but it is on its way. Well, yeah, a lot of people from L.A. have moved to Nashville. Yeah.

Wait, that's what I was going to ask. Did you see Wicked in the theater? No, I'd know. Oh, actually, yes, I did see Wicked in the theater when I was younger. I did see Wicked when I was on Broadway when I was, like, younger, yeah. Oh, wait, did you see it? I mean, the movie that just came out. Oh, no, no, not the Ariana Grande one.

But I'm dying at all the interviews with her and that lady because they are just like, girl. This is like if this was their arm. They're like, they're so funny. Do you think that's a PR, like, you know how like... Or they just really love each other, which is kind of rad. I hope so, because it feels like the most genuine friendship I've ever seen, but because of the internet,

I scroll and I see people being like, this is for PR, this is what Lady Gaga and what's his name did for a star is born? Oh, Bradley Cooper? Yeah, and they're just... Hey, who knows? I mean, they're very, like... Oh, yeah, they're like sitting on each other's lap. Yeah, yeah. But the movie, I cried, I think, four times.

Did you? I just thought it was so well done. And I found out that there's no, like, green screen. Yeah, she was, it was all practical. Yeah. She was painted and everything. Yeah, I did see that. And they sang live.

Like, it wasn't a voiceover. And I don't know. I just thought it was, I don't know. That's great. You know when something happens and you, like, don't know how to feel your emotion, so you just start crying, that's what happened to me. I was like, that was so good. don't even think clapping like is enough like I need my whole body to like start crying I don't

know I was obsessed with it so you what did you want to be when you were younger did you want to be dancer you always wanted to be a dancer yep I grew up dancing my mom was a professional ballerina wow I like lived in the dance studio it's why I moved to Vancouver I wanted to be a dancer but then I did the Canadian thing and dropped my dreams and chased a hockey player You're like dancing. I want to go collect these teeth off the floor. Wow. Collect the teeth and I was like, this guy makes a lot of money.

He's hot. He's nice. And what happened with that? Well, he broke my heart and then I went on The Bachelor. What does Virgo mean about you? Perfectionist, like just super clean, super tidy, like very organized. Yeah, I'm the opposite. Yeah. Really? I am the opposite of that. Oh, boy. Wait, what is your husband's sign?

He's a Libra. And did those two signs work well together? They were working great. We've been together eight years. So, yeah. I mean, he, he, it's funny because the guys that I've dated before him were very messy. Oh. And that's a big yucky for me. Like, a guy that can't even put his socks in the hamper. Oh, like, yes. I see what you're saying messy. And I'm like so clean. Yeah. My house looks like a museum. You know what I mean? Like, you come over and you, like, put your, drink down and I like pick it up and I put a coaster under it. You've already got one in your back pocket. I start dusting while it's there.

That's how I am. Yeah. And so, I mean, I'm not like that, but I, you know. And so my, my husband's very neat, which people wouldn't expect from someone who's a musician. They would expect him to be a fucking nightmare, right? It's true. They do get this, like, reputation of being like slabs or something.

Yeah. I mean, he doesn't shower a lot, but he's very neat, you know, like he doesn't make a mess. Fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't shower a lot. Yeah, not big on the showers. I actually got hated on, I would say, five years ago because I talked about how I hate showering.

Do you not shower every day? No. Girl, what? What do you take, like, those, like, sink baths with the, with the... Not even. Not even? Just dirty? I just get too close and I'm all...

I just... I just get off a plane and raw dog it to go to... I've gotten better over the years. Okay, but you don't shower every day? No. Unless I'm traveling, like, last night when I got off a plane from New York, I was like, I can't wait to shower. Yeah, I felt disgusting.

I feel like that's European though, because Europeans, like, and my husband was born in Greece. Was he? Yeah, he was born in Athens and his mother was Miss Greece, like, so beautiful. Oh, wow. And, you know, he said growing up, his mom, you know, like, that's a thing in Europe. You don't need to shower every day. They would just do the white washcloth if they felt like they were getting a little funky. Yeah.

You know, shower, like, my husband's showers like once a week. Wow. Does he do the bird bath? Bird bath, yeah, uh-huh, of course. So you shower every day. Do you wash your hair every day? I'm like, no, this hair is so thick. So I wash the hair like once a week and then I shower every night.

But I'm just, that's the thing with me is I'm like overly clean. Like I'm, and I'm stripping my body of all the oils and stuff it probably needs, you know? See, I'm like scared. I'm going to lose my spray tan. So I'm like, I'm not going to shower. You're like, I'm a bitch on a budget. I got to make this shit lap. How do I make this shit?

It's like, you can't tell if it's dirt or spray tan. You're like, either way it works. It's fine either way. It's contour. I can't. I have a sauna in my backyard and. This is so disgusting I read somewhere that

benefits of not showering after a sauna or like a thing Bro, just so sweaty and then I got like bacterial vaginosis And was like BV Maybe it wasn't BV but it was

Yeah, it was something Some sort of like It happens to the best of us It really does, doesn't it? Luckily all women listen to this podcast So I feel like they'll understand But I was like oh my God Oh, gosh, Caitlin's shower after, at least after the sauna.

At least wipe the cooch down. Yeah, give it a little sponge bath. Yeah. I can't. I was just like, but the benefits said. Oh, no. I know sometimes we're a little too homeopathic. I'm like, well, and my problem is everybody on the internet is an expert, so I listen to everybody and I get mixed messages all the time.

Well, I'm like, is alcohol poison or is it good for your heart? I don't know. It's a red wine. Yeah. I hear everything I hear on TikTok. I'm like, Bible. Like, that's, that's the truth. This is my church.

I know. Like, I literally, and then I go on my podcast. I have a podcast called This is the Worst with Brittany Schmidt. And I go on my podcast and I spout out this shit. And Brittany's like, that's not right. Like, that's not. And then we Google it and prove me wrong. Oh, that's a fun.

Do you love podcasting? I love it. Yeah. Your guys' clips are so funny. And how do you know her? So we met from stand-up. So, like, when I came back, like, a year and a half ago, I was watching one of Theo's shows, Theo Von, and she was on his show.

because they're really good friends. And I thought she was so funny. And then we just hung out afterwards and we became friends. Oh, fun. Oh, yeah. You guys have good, you have good banter in, like, chemistry.

We're very different. Yeah. We're, like, very different people. Yeah. You know, I'm, like, more, I don't want to say, like, easygoing. Brittany's, like, very, like, to the point. Like, she's not afraid to be a bitch. She's very, like, yeah, she's hardcore.

Like, she cannot hide how she feels. Like, if you meet her and she does a tourist. She's a ball. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you meet her and she doesn't like you, you will know. Oh, that's, people scare the shit out of me. Yeah, she's tough. Like, I mean, she will, and I'm, like, very lighthearted, you know what I mean?

So it's like a funny, like, it's a funny dichotomy of the two, you know, two of us. And, okay, I meant to touch on this when I was asking what your husband's sign was, you guys met on Raya. And then what was the first interaction like? Because I feel like you two are so cute. Like, what was the first? Was it, like, one of those instantaneous moments? It's so funny because this is, like, Raya when it first came out.

I heard Raya's crazy now. Like, basically, it's so funny. There was a girl on TikTok that was, like, listing all the celebrities on Raya because she's not on anymore, but, like, right before she jumped off. Yeah. And it's all the same people that were on when I was on eight years ago. So I'm like, obviously something's very wrong with those people because they're still on eight years ago.

She's, like, listing them, like, it's new news. I'm like, these people were all on when it first came out. Yeah. Anyway, so when it first came out, I got on for free because they asked me to be. be on it, which was cool. Oh. Yeah, because they just wanted people on there. And, you know, then it was just kind of, like, at that point, it was really private.

Yeah. There was, like, I mean, I was swiping, like, there was, like, you know, huge celebrities on there, you know, when I was swiping in, my husband, I ended up matching with him. And, like, just right off the bat, he was, like, very persistent. And, you know, he messaged me and was like, oh, my God, I followed you and Vine. You're so funny. He's like, I would love to hang out. and then we started texting and he just, like,

text me right away and blah, blah, blah. And I'd only gone on, like, a few dates off of Ryan until I matched with him. And then it was it. And then I deleted it and we hung out. We got along right away. We're both, like, very childlike, you know? That's fun.

That makes for a really fun relationship. Yeah, like he's very childlike, I'm childlike, and we playful. Yeah. And so we kind of just, like, we just vibe. That's cute. Yeah. Like, what's the craziest celebrity you saw in there? Oh.

I wouldn't say crazy, but I mean, like, it's like all the same. people that everyone has said, like, John Mayer's still on there. Oh, I've heard that name, like, a million times on that out. And, like, uh, oh, God, so many people, um, Joshua Jackson, like, just so many people. Yeah, it's like the usual suspects. Just so many people. Just, you're just scrolling and you're like, there's just a lot of, well, in the beginning, it was a lot of people. Like, I think Jennifer Aniston was even on there at one point. Yeah. Like, but then it kind of, now it's kind of like they needed, they wanted

to make money off of it. So now it was like, first I heard that they're charging 10.99 a month. Now it's 2599 a month to be on there. Oh, what? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. I've never done a dating now. Well, what are you doing now? You're just chilling? Yeah. You just want to meet someone like an airwound. They throw a grapefruit at your head or something. That would be really cute. Ah! You suck. My name's Chad. Do you want to hang out? I'm dead. Just knock you unconscious. Yeah. Sorry, babe. Whoa. Oh, I'm turned on. Damn. That grapefruit's going to be 23 bucks. Yeah. For you, dude. What is there? Is there.

Any other one is it only in L.A.? They're everywhere in L.A. Why is it so ridiculous? They're everywhere in L. Oh, they are? Yeah, they're all over. There's like Venice, Airwan. There's, like, Calabasas, Airwan. There's the West Hollywood Airwant.

Like, there's all over. What makes it so expensive? Why is it such a thing? I think they just go out of their way to, like, make sure everything is sourced. Like, you know, it's like no damage products. Like, you know, healthy, no fillers, this, that, you know? Like, they try to do like that. But there really is no excuse why, like, a package.

of Brussels sprouts is $64, you know what I mean? It's insane. There's really no excuse, but the owner is, like, very bougie and, you know. We don't have anything like that in Nashville. Like, I go to a Kroger and I'm like... Oh, I love that. And probably a lot of farmers markets.

A lot of farmers markets. Having him been a nice cowboy in Nashville yet? Like, they're all fake cowboys. There are? Yeah. I can't. I feel like... They have, like, cowboy hats and Jordans on.

You're like, that's not right. That doesn't look right. No, it doesn't... None of it adds up. I feel like they're all fake, and they're just trying, like the Montana boys, it's like a bunch of Montana boys. You know those guys that just like lip sync on TikTok and try and be cowboys? Yeah, no, I actually like, people are always like, follow me and I'm like, I'm not following any new people. I literally would delete

my Instagram today if it wasn't for my podcast. Really? I would be gone. So I would delete my TikTok. I would delete my Instagram. I'd delete everything. Wait, tell me why. I'm over it. Yeah. I've had enough clips of myself out there and it's like and I'm tired of people like you know I do something and then they don't like know the truth of my situation and then they judge it and I'm just like I don't need that you know like I don't need it it's actually quite interesting how many people can have an opinion on something that they don't know anything about and it's exhausting it's like so exhausting and I'm just like I love my life it's perfect my husband's awesome everything is great in my life I don't need the peanut gallery making up stories.

How do you two protect your relationship and your peace together? I mean, my husband could give a fuck. Like, he doesn't read the, he doesn't read comments, he doesn't care. I mean, he just did not care. He is, like, the most, like, who cares? Like, it doesn't even affect him, you know? That's amazing. For me, I'm getting better at it, but I'm not great at it still, you know?

Because it's crazy when you see, like, a total lie about yourself and you're like, what? Like, you want to defend yourself, but then you're like, who? Who am I defending myself too? You know what I mean? And you've been open about having anxiety and depression. Does that add to it? Yeah, I've been doing a lot better, though, in the last few years, thank God. Like, I've done a lot of work on myself and it's like I obviously am not perfect.

Like, I'm not a perfect human being. I'm going to do things that aren't perfect. Yeah. Like, I'm a human. Yeah. And I just think it's when you have social media and you aren't your most perfect self, it's like people just destroy you. I know.

Instead of being like, oh, you're a human being, you're not going to be perfect all the time, you know. Oh, and they'll destroy you over anything, and then they'll rally the troops to all be behind them and take people down. They love to destroy. It's, it's, yeah, it's really, I suffer also from anxiety, but I know that you had talked about antidepressants, too, and that changed my life. What did you take? Selexa. Oh, Selexa. Do you still take it?

Yes. Okay, yeah. Uh-huh. I take it faxer. Every day, and I can't believe I lived my life. without it and I'm obviously like all four whatever like talk to your doctor yeah of course of course but like how did finding the right treatment for you impact your outlook on life because I too feel like over the last few years I've gotten so much better with anxiety and I still have it obviously

but like I've gotten a lot better are your aura ring are you health obsessed as well a little bit okay I'm also a complete degenerate at the same time like I drank wine on the plane here last night and then took edibles when I got to my hotel and then ate all of the hotel snacks And then I'm like, but then I'm like, wake up and I'm like, okay, I've got to get my workout and I have to get this many steps. And like, I'm both. Okay, so is your anxiety? What is your biggest anxiety? Like, what do you, have you scared of death? Okay, intrusive thoughts. I think I'm going to get cancer. I think everyone around me is going to die. I like, if you don't do something the right way. Yeah. This is the OCD thinking. Yes, which comes through as anxiety and OCD thinking. And it really cranks up.

on my period. Of course. Otherwise, I'm quite chill. Yeah. It's like just around that time is when it really. I know. I take a little, sometimes around my period, I take a little extra 10 milligrams of Prozac just during my period.

And that helps. And it helps. That takes the edge off because I also get nasty during my period. Oh, I'm a complete different human. Yeah. It's horrible, isn't it? It's really horrible. And I remember, like, I truly think, and it's for the best, but I truly think I ruined

two relationships in my life because of it. That's a shame. I know. And it's like, you know, people don't understand how heart is. And they go, oh, just go on the pill, but the pill has all these other side effects. And have you ever tried, like, natural progesterone? No. So natural progesterone, progesterone's, like, calming.

And so I also take that, like, around why have PCOS and endometriosis. Oh, you have PCOS as well? I have PCOS. I have to shave my face is. Oh, same. So I'm surprised your doctor didn't give you a little natural progesterone. It's completely, you can get natural pregesterone. natural progesterone, not synthetic.

Yeah, because I get so scared of all of that stuff. Yeah, this is all completely natural. So it's these, like, little orange balls, and I take it, like, to get my period. So my period will be, like, coming, and then it won't come because of the PCOS. But then I take the natural progesterone, and it brings my period on. And it actually, like, helps me be calm. Progesterone in general is very calming. Progesterone's great.

You can get progesterone cream. You can get natural progesterone. Okay, so I had progesterone cream at one point, but it made me even more depressed. It made you depressed. It will make you tired. Oh, and maybe that's what it was. Maybe I, like, couldn't get out of bed. Yeah, yes, it's going to make you really tired because it's calming.

Oh. So the progesterone will make you tired if you don't like being tired. What is the natural stuff that you take? The orange... I have to get the name of it. It's a little orange ball. I can send it to you. It's orange natural...

It's in a little orange ball. It's natural progesterone. Okay, I'll get it. Yeah, I'll get it. So I take that just right before I, to get my period, and then I'm pretty, like, calm. And then a little bit of Prozac if I need it, you know? because I don't want to go up on the effectster.

The effector's really hard to get off of, you know, and I weaned myself down to the starting dose of that. So I try not to take more than, you know. It's a battle. People don't understand. You know, I actually am going into a doctor at Cedars. I've been waiting to meet with for like five months. I go to see next week because I want to go get like an ablation, you know,

because I have to endo and the PCO. It's just too much. Oh, my gosh. So are you in just unbearable pain every month? Yeah. And then in between, like, it used to be like just. around my period and now it's like without my period I'm starting to have pain and I'm like and I'm like worried I'm more worried about um the more I see about endometriosis is that it's spreading you know

over my intestines or like getting thoracic endometriosis because I get chest pain around my period mostly just around my period it's like weird and I'm like and then I'm like reading about it and it's like endometriosis can grow everywhere and I'm like oh like people have had to it in their brain, their lungs. Not to make you worry about another thing. I'm dead. I'm like, I'm gonna trigger you and you're gonna be like, you're gonna leave the podcast and just start like Googling.

I don't think I have that though. I don't think I have Ender- You just have PCOS. I think so. So do you have bad cramping? Like to the point where I'm like in the fetal position crying seeing stars. Why don't you think you have endo?

Because it's only like every three periods that happens. That's strange. It's so bizarre. Have you had a leproscopy? Where they go in and just look? Yeah. They went in through your belly button and did like the surgery. Oh, no, no, no, no.

You need to have that to, like, diagnose it for sure. Because I was going to say, how do you, how do you get diagnosed? Unless, like, for me, my ultrasound, my endometriosis is so bad that they saw the webbing on my ultrasound of endometriosis. When they saw all my polycystic ovaries, they saw webbing, so much webbing. Whoa. So they saw that. That's what I've been doing the, I just did like two weeks ago, an ultrasound.

Yeah. And, like, I have, yeah, a lot of cystic. and a lot of fibroids and just a lot of pain during my period. So I will tell you the one thing that does work, even though I should do it and I don't, was I went dairy and gluten-free for a year and all my sis went away. Really? Every single fucking one. You're kidding.

I'm not kidding. But eating gluten-free and dairy-free was very hard. It's basically carnivore. Like you're just eating meat and you're eating lettuce with like veggies? veggies and potato and just it was hard and then we went on tour and I was like I can't do this like yeah I was gonna say what I was miserable I was like I but then it's like what do I want pain and and sis or like it's like this trade off but then I'm like I love cake and I love ice cream and I want to live my life and I love cheese I literally on the plane last day I'm like gross

it had cheese and pasta and then for dessert I had a cheese plate so see so yeah so yeah so I'm doing this to myself is what you're saying. The pain, yeah. Wait, how long did you go on tour for? Do you like being on the bus? We're on tour all the time. No. No, I don't like it.

How do you like... I'm a princess. I don't like that shit. I only went on a bus for three months when I was doing the Dancing with the Stars tour. And I... Did you like it? Loved it. Weirdo.

I know. Some people do. So, like, some people, the bus, like, rocks them to sleep. For me... It didn't do that. Like, our bus was like every little rock we hit. I was like, oh. Well, did you have, like, the back.

yeah that's the worst part that's they put me in the back on like they're like you have your own bedroom and I was like flying around I didn't like the sleeping part of it but I didn't because they were taken and I would rather slept in the bunks but I just liked it because I knew there was light at the end of the tunnel I was like this is such an experience I don't have to do this after this so I think that helped oh I'm not I'm not I just love dancing so much I think that was like yeah you just start dancing right now I'm like I pull out my tap shoes, get on the table. No, I just feel like I, like, but I can't imagine, like, it threw me off because I don't have a schedule, a routine. I don't have, like, so, and that affected my anxiety really bad. So I was thinking for you, like, being on tour doing that. Oh, it was a nightmare. Do you get, also, I, like, don't like, my anxiety is health anxiety.

I always think I'm dying. I always think I have, like, a heart attack or something. Mine's ever changing. Yeah, and so, like, if we're not near a hospital, I freak out. Because my heart's always beating weird because it's, I'm anxious. So it's always like, bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo I'm like, why the fuck is my heart doing the macarina? Like it's like, bum, bubub, bo bo bo bo bo bo and I'm like, I feel it. I freak the fuck out.

Yeah, I mean, that doesn't sound. And my husband's just so mellow. He's like, babe, just chill. I'm like, oh, really? Oh, really? One of those. Like, never in the history. He doesn't worry about anything, dude.

Someone telling me to chill. Have I ever been like, oh. But I wish I could just care like he doesn't care about anything. He's just so mellow. What do you think? It's just his disposition He's just this like He's always been that way

Yeah Chill doesn't give a Like just just so eat Like just mellow Yeah Yeah So jealous of that You want to get back into acting

Are you Yeah I'm always I mean I'm always there Yeah I'm with Gersh And I take auditions when I get them But you know What would your dream role be? Something with depth You know

Because I love that You know And I would love I would love it. I just don't. There's just not a lot. I don't know. I hasn't had a lot of opportunities for it.

It comes and goes. I feel like you talk about, like, live entertainment being a dying breed. But I also feel like movies kind of are not as. I know. It's weird, isn't it? Yeah. I wonder what's next. What is next?

People are just so obsessed with the phone. Like, people don't even watch the movie. Like, I see people. I'll go over people's house and they're going to be like, oh, we're going to have a movie night. And then I look over it. everybody in their life. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh. They're just shopping online. I'm like, are you watching? Yeah. And they're all just like this. No, it's. It's kind of crazy. I even saw that happen in the movie theater when I went to Wicked two days ago.

And I remember seeing people on their phones in Wicked. And I was like, first of all, you shouldn't be on your phone in a movie theater. It's rude. Yeah. But like. No, people are just, they can't get away from it. It is the most like aesthetically pleasing movie you've ever seen. It's so much happening.

And it's still not enough for their brains. like they need to go to the next thing. They need too much stimulation. I know. It's kind of freaky. It's scary. It is scary. And the kids are being raised with, like, the iPads and shit,

and then they're really not going to be able to get away from it. Where was I the other day at some restaurant? And every child had headphones and an iPad. And I'm like, I'm not a mom, so I can't say what I would do in that situation. But I did feel like, God, it is scary how addicted, because we as adults are addicted to screens. So as a developing brain as a child to get addicted to a screen, it's like, I don't know. I know.

It's going to be a different breed of people. Yeah. It really is. Yeah. Besides acting or any big projects or goals that you're working towards it, you want to share? I mean, I have the podcast, which has just been so fun. And then I just do stand up locally. And I'm just kind of chilling.

Like, I'm just like enjoying my life, you know. I also am like getting to this place where I don't feel as much of a need to be, like, seen. Yeah. You know, like, if someone asks me to do something, I'm like, sure, most of the time, but, like, I don't go out of my way to seek. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm just kind of, like, getting more complacent and, like, not really being seen as much. I am right there with you.

I don't need to post as much. I don't need to, like, be, I've done it all, you know. I'm just enjoying my regular day-to-day life, playing with my dogs, hanging out with my husband, showing in my house. Yeah. I just, I'm like, I'm kind of like, I'm just enjoying my life. Well, and your podcast is obviously successful. What is the craziest worst first story that you've heard on your podcast? Oh, my God.

There's so many. The worst one? Oh, boy. God, I mean, there's been so many. There were ones where it was like worst family betrayal where, like, some girl found out that her mom, she was pregnant with her husband's baby. And then her mom was fucking her husband. No. And then her mom got pregnant.

It's like crazy, it's like Maury shit. Yeah. Oh, that is Marry shit. And then they're together. No, the mom and the... Yeah, the mom and her husband are together. Yeah. How do you explain that to the children?

It's just insane. I mean, people go through so much stuff. It's insane. They write in and say the most insane things and I'm just like, this is like horrifying. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's really sad. And sometimes it's funny.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like... How often do podcasts a week? Well, you do it once a week. Once a week. Yeah, or Britney, because Brittany goes on tour a lot, so we We have to bank them sometimes, so we'll do it, like, a couple times a week.

But, yeah, it's fun. That's really fun. And where do you guys record out of, like, do you live? Oh, okay. That's fun. I love podcasting. I've been doing it for eight years, and I don't get sick of it. No, it's fun.

I love talking to people, too. So it's, like, great. I do, too. I had my own podcast before I did this one with her, and then that one was, like, mismanaged. And so then she came to me with this opportunity. And I was like, sure. So I really love the Just Media team who runs our podcast. That's good.

Amazing. Really? Yeah, they kind of just handle everything. Oh, that's nice. You get to just show up, right? Oh, that's nice. You too, right? Yes.

I'm there as well, but, like, I still feel like I, I'm kind of a perfectionist too, so I still like... You want a piece of control? Yeah, but then I don't want to do the work. I need this to be this, this, this, and this, and Jerry, you're going to do it. I can't. That's hilarious. This guy out here's just, like, sweating.

He's like, I'm going to make sure it's right. Or he'll hear from me. Yeah. I'm such a weird combination of a perfectionist, but also, like, lazy and carefree. That's, like, the ADHD thing. Yeah. You have things you want to do, but you're not motivated. Do you take, like, Adderall or anything?

No, Adderall gives me such bad anxiety. Same. I can, like, I did it for when I was younger and I can't do any stimulants. Yeah. Even drinking this Coca-Cola, I feel like I'm going to be Crash Bandicoot in, like, two seconds. Like, I literally am like, calm down. I just crunched this can in my hand. Like, I'm like, ah, that voices!

I'm just kidding. But kind of. You kind of, but not really. Yes, I do know exactly what you mean. It's like you spin the fuck out. I can't drink soda in general, but that's because when I had COVID, it changed my taste buds. And every soda tastes like soap. Soap.

Well, that did you a favor. Yeah, I didn't really like it in the first place, but I, like, like, even if I smelled that, it would smell like soap. Whoa. Yeah, it's really weird. That is weird. It's really weird. Okay. These are just fun, lighthearted.

Go ahead, anything you want. Really easy ones. Okay. If you had to trade lives with any celebrity for a day, who would it be? Ooh, any celebrity for a day? Who would it be if I had to trade lives with them? That's so interesting. That's a tough one to think about because I love my life.

I'm like, my life is rad, but I'm just trying to think about who. I love that. This is like if somebody, like, gun to your head, you had to change lives with a celebrity for a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd probably want to be like, I'm just trying to think who I admire. Who do I think is like... See, I wish my brain went to who do I admire.

I go straight to Britney Spears because I want to know what she's thinking. Oh, poor Brit. I love her. I love her so much and I just want to know what's happening. I know. I know.

I'm trying to think, okay, so maybe like... I feel like... I was going to say like maybe Angelina Jolie, but I feel like she's so sad right now. I sense a sadness in her, so maybe not her right now. but maybe someone like God, that's such a hard man, Penelby Cruz. Oh.

She's just so beautiful. She really is. And I saw her at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I was having lunch. And she was at the Polo Lounge and she walked by and it was just like. She's a vision. I mean, stop. Like everyone was just like, like salad just hanging out of their mouth.

Like so pretty. Yeah. So adorable. And like what a career. And like not. I feel like she. She's famous, but she's also able to live her life, right? So she's not, like, so famous that, like, you know, she's so famous, but she's not, you know.

She gets to be a little bit normal, I feel like, you know. I feel like she can kind of do normal things, and then she's so gorgeous, and she's done so many cool things. And I admire her acting career, and I think she's had cool roles and, you know, like, that's a good one. I loved her and blow. Yeah, I feel like that's, like, the kind of person I would want. Because she also seems really happy, and then, like, you hear the way, like, she's with Javier Bardem. And her husband. Oh.

I don't know. She's stuck in Nashville. Who's that? Who's that? Who's Javier Bardam? Tell them to get off my lawn. I can't. He's, and it was like really sweet.

Someone asked him, you know, how do you feel about working with your wife? Most people say it's their worst nightmare or whatever. And he goes, well, I'm not like those people. He's like, I love working with my wife. And, like, you just spoke so sweet of her. You know, I don't know. So maybe that's off the top of my wife.

That's a good one. No, that's a good one. Who is the guy that's the actor and shameless? William H. Macy. Yeah. And his wife. I forget her name. She was that nurse Jackie lady, wasn't she?

Or no, it's Annette Benning. No. Right? It's, yeah, Google because they just, I watched this Hulu series called Accused, and they were together in this episode, and it was so cute to watch them act together. Oh, Felicity Huffman. Felicity, yes, Felicity Huffman. They did an episode of this.

It was so good. Yeah, she was, yeah, she's great. That's so cool, yeah. I think it's so cute. And they've been together forever. Forever. So many people have, I mean, look at, what's her name? Kate Hudson's mom.

Oh, gosh, Goldie Hawn and Russell. Russell, um, not Russell, Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell. They've been together forever and not married, but together forever. Yes. I'm really hoping, like, that. That's me. Like, I got married and I'm just like, I'm not a, I don't believe in divorce.

I wouldn't have gotten married if I did. Yeah. And I know I'm my husband, technically I'm my husband's fourth wife, but his first wife, they got annulled, the marriage. They got an annulled. So what does that mean? Like, he was married to her for like a month. Oh. And then he was like, no.

Oh. That's kind of like the rock star life. I feel like he's settled down now. He's so settled down. Like, it's just such a, like, great. We have such a great life. Yeah. Just like, I don't know, it's weird.

I kind of just, I feel like for me, when I said I do, I was like, I'm going to, I'm kind of like a stick it outer. That's nice. You have this aura about you that feels very peaceful right now. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I do feel peaceful. Yeah, that's nice. Even when I even brought up Vine, you were kind of like, what is a video of yours that

makes you cringe? All of them. What? I look back at my characters and I'm like, what an idiot. I don't know. I just feel like I was just in like such a place where I like, I mean, it's. It's also funny because it's like I really didn't give off. I didn't like really wear makeup in any of my videos.

I didn't like, you know, make myself look pretty. I mostly didn't care, you know. And I'm just like a nightmare. It was just me being so unhinged that I look back and I'm like, oh boy, could have done for some privacy. But, you know, it is what it is. That's I. Yeah. I tried so hard to go viral on Vine all the time.

Did you? Oh, my God. So funny. Yeah. I would also cringe looking back at the. I also think the funny thing was, and, like, maybe that's what happened was because I got on there with, like, such a pure intention of just having fun. Yeah. And I was like, I'm just going to do all these characters that I have.

Yeah. I'm just going to have fun. And then it was just, like, it just became big because I didn't, I didn't really. Did you have characters? I had so many characters. What? Who's your favorite one? Called, like, the beekeeper who he would, like, he was a beekeeper, but, like, he was never good at it.

You know what I hate? You know what I hate more in that song, Black and Yellow? bees. Like, I was just always, like, fighting with bees, but, like, not good at, like, getting rid of them and just, I would make jokes. It was called Jokes with the Beekeeper. What? I looked so ugly, and I would draw a mustache on my face, and I wore, like, a f***-up hat.

I was demented. Like, I don't know what... Where does the sense of humor come from? Just mental. Just, like, all these little characters I had, and then, like, I had so many characters. And then I had little JJ who would, like, hit on girls, but just was, like, so obnoxious. And I would put, like, a gum wrapper as a fake grill and stuff. Like, it's just horrible.

And I did. the series, and I see people doing it now on TikTok. I see so much of my stuff recycled. Oh, I bet. Like, I did the series on Vine where it was like if girls hit on guys, the way guys hit on girls. I'd see that. I would, like, pull up on guys and be like, well, nice ass. Like, what you got packing in that trunk, a little junk in that trunk?

Like, I would literally hit on guys, like, if I was a guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then people now are doing it on TikTok. And everyone's like, this is genius. And I'm like, I literally did it like a hundred years ago. But it's okay. It's whatever. It is what it is, right?

Well, TikTok is literally everyone copying everyone always. And who knows where the credit is like trying to figure out. I'm like, whatever, you know. It's all good. I'm like trying to figure out like where the joke came from. Yeah, yeah. Who made up that joke? Yeah.

Yeah, I just so many care. And then Natalie Nature was like this like nature character that I had that was like, she stops at Air One. She talks like this. And her trade line was like, I love it. And like, it was so funny. It was just like a weird... Do you bring back those characters ever?

No. Oh, just kidding. I'm just like so... I'm like, I'm so over everything now. I'm like, yeah, that was great. I'm being mentally ill online. Love that for me. Yeah.

Wait, that is great that you've gotten to a place where you're just like, I love my life and I'm actually so happy. I'm just so happy and I also just don't feel the need for like the attention. Yeah, yeah. You know, like I can post every day. Like, some people do you think it's because we see so many people

trying to get attention that you're like, I don't need to go do it. Yeah, it's just exactly. And then I, I see people who, are like chronically online where they're every day you know hey guys i just like i scrolled past this girl on ticot i'm not going to say who it is but it was just like she gets in her car and she goes hey guys just had a workout just got a smoothie i'm on my way to get my hair blowout like just giving us her updates like we're her boyfriend or something and i'm like but i'm like waiting for

the punchline i'm waiting for something funny yeah nothing nothing and then just a log off like just like okay hope you have a good day like like I find a lot of people online very confusing. But I mean, I don't know, whatever, maybe it makes people happy. Who knows? Whatever makes you happy. Whatever makes you happy. Yeah.

One thing that Tommy does that drives you crazy. Do you get the ick ever? No, because he's so handsome. Aw. Like, it's, like, really crazy. He's, like, really good-looking guy. He doesn't really give me the ick. That's nice.

Something he does that drives me crazy. It doesn't really drive me crazy, but he does wake up really early. Really? And we're just kind of on opposite schedule. So like I'm a night owl I'm up all fucking night Like just I'm just creative at night I love being awake at night

And he wakes up at like 6.30 in the morning Just naturally That's like middle of the night for me So then he's tired obviously at like 930 You know what I mean So if we want to watch a movie Or if we want to like watch a show

He'll make it two seconds So it's like we can't really watch a lot of stuff Because What is like an ideal date night for you too? I mean Every night's a date night. We have so much fun. You guys are sick and cute, man.

No, we eat dinner together every night and, like, we sit and talk, and, like, it's just, like, no phones. And we just, like, we just talk about our day and, and, you know, we sit together and have, we make sure to have dinner together every single night. We plan dinners. Like, he likes to cook, you know. I mean, every day is, like, a little date night, you know. It's also my best friend. That's really nice. You know, and it's kind of weird because it's been a friend.

Right, right. But then it's weird because it's, like, also. I'm like, I need to, like, hang out with other people, too. Because then you get, like, too... Codependent. Yeah, where you're just like, it's just us and that's all I need. And, like, everything is good. And I got the dogs and, like, I'm good, you know.

And I don't, you know, explore a lot outside of that. Yeah. My friends are like, hello. Yeah. That's, yeah, I get, like, very comfortable in my space and, like, with certain people. I get that. I don't have a lot of bandwidth for people anyway. I get that.

You know, I get tired. You know, after talking to people, I'm tired. I'm tired, so... I get that. Are you tired right now? No, I will be after. I will be like, I do the exact same thing. You just go home and you're like...

I can't even talk after, like, this is my third podcast and I get on this role. Oh my God, all in one day? Yeah. I would literally kill myself. I told Brittany, because I have no, like, it's very hard for me to like, I can do one a day. And then days when we have to do two, I'm like... It's a lot. I actually don't mind it once I get going, like, this morning I had a bit of anxiety over, like,

Because I always, I have this fear that it's, that people are going to walk away from my interviews and be like, that was a waste of my time. No. So when I'm due three, I'm scared that I'm like, uh-oh. By the third one. Yeah, I'm like, do I seem burnt out? Do I seem like? Ha ha ha ha. This shit sucked.

I'm dead. This poor podcast. What's it called again, off the vine? It's like a vine podcast. Just fucking I kill myself. Speaking of off the vine, we got Vine star Britney Furl out here. blah blah blah that's my intro right there I just jump off a bridge

I can't I'm literally using that clip I've had great guest taste so did you just change your shirt every episode I literally kept the same outfit on the whole time I can't you're amazing I pack so lightly

because I don't like overpacking and so I'm like this is what I'm working I always end with people telling me a confession and embarrassing story something that you're like yeah I read that I read that I had to have one. Yeah.

I don't have a lot of embarrassing stories, believe it or not, because I don't tend to get, like, embarrassed. I'm kind of just like, well, I was an idiot, you know, but, okay, maybe this is embarrassing. So I matched with a famous guy on Raya before my husband, and we went in on a date, and it was fine. It was cool. And we got along, but he was, like, too short for me. And so I ended up running into him later at Comic-Con. And he was, like, one of the people everyone was coming to see. and I was at Comic-Con that day

because I was doing a podcast. And I was waiting for some producer that I hadn't met yet, right? And so I'm talking to him, you know, and I'm waiting for this producer, and I'm just catching up with him, like, how are you? What's going on, blah, blah, blah, blah. And this guy walks up, and without a beat,

I'm thinking, oh, it's the producer that I'm waiting for, right? Because he walks up to us, and I was going, oh, hi, I've been waiting for you, you know, meet so-and-so, and, like, I introduced them, and they, like, shook him, and then they both looked at me and I was like

oh so you're like here for the to do my podcast and he's like no I'm literally his friend and I was like I'm just kidding but they were awkwardly shaking yeah because I was like meet him like meet him

meet him I don't care if you know meet him already and I was wanting to kill myself and I was like okay well that's great all right well you have fun you guys and I walked away so awkward it was so awkward i was like oh my god that i went on a date with a guy who is so crazy and he literally he was so hot but he was so crazy and he went psycho over this hockey game and i remember i was so turned off by him i was screaming screaming at the tv and like not like we were hanging out at my house

and i thought it was like a date and he was like screaming at the tv and then i was like i can't do this with this guy i went to an audition like a week later my girlfriend owned this agency and she was I didn't really do auditions or anything, but she was like, hey, you should go in for this part in this Coors light beer commercial. Yeah. And the audition was me with him. He was the guy auditioning for the guy part.

I was the girl, and he had to be banging on a refrigerator at a gas station, watching a sports game through the refrigerator, and it was me being like, oh, this guy. And I was like, what are the freaking chances of this? You don't even have to act. I didn't. Do you remember do the same thing you did the night we hung out? How did he get it?

I don't know. I don't think so, but I didn't either. You walked in, you're like, let me tell you guys. He is perfect. Bang him. This is the guy. I remember seeing the commercial actually, like a year later and being like, oh, no, he didn't get it. But it's so funny that that happened, like, the most random.

I can't. What's like the worst date you've been on? Was that the worst one? That was one of the worst. I haven't been on like that bad. dates to be honest with you. Have you gone out with a lot of famous people? No.

Okay. I, um, I tend to like them regular Joe's who maybe have been on one reality show and one reality show and, one reality show. That's not a regular show. I can't. Right. Okay. One reality show under the belt. But also tell everybody where they can follow you and find your podcast.

Oh, God. If you want to. Uh, at Britain, please. But that's why it's, burn it all to the ground. But you are refreshing to follow. I'm going to delete it. I'm going to delete it soon. Oh, wow.

At Britney furlone on Instagram and then my podcast. which we're not deleting, obviously, is this is the worst podcast that I host with Britney Schmidt, and it's a hoot. It is a hoot. It's a hoot. Yeah. Amazing. We're going to have you on. Oh, I can't wait.

I would love that. Are you just saying that to be nice? Oh, I would love to. Oh, okay. Great. Seems like you got a lot of worst stories. Seems like your life's the worst. So we'd love to have you on.

You're like, you've never had a bad dating story? No, not really. Everything's been pretty great. I have OCD and I live in the forest in Nashville and I have bacterial venosis. I'm like, this bitch is great. Get this bitch on the podcast right now. And worst everything, right? Yeah, we can just talk about my BV.

You're like, I need Botox right now. I'm getting my eyelids ripped off. I'm doing everything. Bitch. Next time I see you, you're going to be like this. It just look like the cat lady. Hey, guys, it's me. Do you remember me, Caitlin?

I actually don't sleep because my eyelids goes anywhere. They just draw eyes on your tops of your eyelids. They just open all the time. Bitch, you don't need shit. You get really getting this eyelid shit. I'm on the fence now because I do it. You're too young right now. Wait till it's like we have more to give.

Well, you can do it again. Again? Yeah. I'm a lizard person. People think I've had plastic surgery and I have not. I've only had filler. But it's like... People think filler's plastic surgery, though.

That's insane. They're ridiculous. But, you know, you're so pretty. I mean... Thank you. I don't think I could... What are you going to do? What's it going to look like?

Can we see? Literally will... She said people won't even be able to notice. It's like going to be like... That flap will be gone. What flap? She's just making shit up. She's like, you know, that tongue you have above your eyelid.

Look at it. That's dehydration, bitch. Drink some water. I hate water. Look at you with your coffee. I haven't had an ounce of water today. I haven't. Get her some f***.

Jerry! Get her an avion. That's not. That's dehydration. You know what it might be. And like, listen. You start pulling shit. I know, I am a little scared.

You're going to have John Rivers real quick. Oh, no, that's my fear is that I, like, will have, like, dysmorphia and not see what I'm doing. You're so pretty. I wouldn't do it. I really wouldn't, babe. I even stopped taking all of my vitamins for this. I'll do whatever you want to do, but, you know, hopefully it's just very subtle. It's, she said it's the most subtle.

I'm at a party and, like, I see you, and you turn around, and you're like, hey, girl. You scream. I got it done. I mean, super low. Super subtle, right? She told me. She got rid of the flappy. I'm like, oh, my God.

Permanently eyes open. Okay. You go to sleep and they're just like, I'm literally going to send you a before and after photo. And then you... I trust you're going to go to somebody. You're on in L.A.? No, Nashville.

Oh my God. Are you f***ing serious, bitch? Wait, and get a load of this. Nashville plastic surgery? What is she doing a group on? What's happening? You got a two-for-one bluff. I just love to post on Instagram.

Are you serious? No, I'm not. trade force oh my god i'm not doing i promise i'm not doing the trade i used to do that with my botox lady because i loved her like i could obviously afford my botox but she was trying to grow her following so she would constantly be like can we post you getting injected and i'm like regret that so much really oh my god i'm like yeah i yeah i i need anymore i call out my botox lady all the time because i think she's amazing she recommended clippenstein i'm out of here i got to go But I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending.

And if I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind a rating of you.