Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Carl Radke | How Bravo Saved His Life!

Episode Date: March 5, 2026

#925. Carl Radke has lived much of his life in front of the world. After nearly a decade on Summer House, he opens up about the moment watching himself on TV forced him to confront his addiction — and why he believes Bravo ultimately saved his life.He shares the grief of losing his brother to an overdose, how he’s now celebrating over five years of sobriety, and the unexpected impact of sharing his journey publicly — from a stranger stopping him outside the subway to say his story saved her life, to the surreal Chrissy Teigen and John Legend Sundance story that proves you never know who’s watching.Carl also talks about writing his memoir Cake Eater, relearning how to socialize without alcohol, dating while sober, and how his priorities have completely changed — plus a few teases about the new season of Summer House.Whether you know Carl from Summer House or simply connect with his honesty about addiction, grief, and growth, this is a conversation you won’t want to miss!If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these AMAZING deals!Better Help: Your emotional wellbeing matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/VINE. Bombas: Head over to Bombas.com/VINE and use code VINE for 20% off your first purchase.Knix: Please grab yourself the Uplift bra – this may just change your bra game for good. Don’t forget to use code VINE15 for 15% off your order at knix.com.Macy’s: What I love is that Macy’s has become this place where you can rediscover your style or even find pieces that make you feel good, confident, and excited for a new season. Shop in-store or online at macys.com.Tempo: For a limited time, Tempo is offering OTV listeners 60% your first box! Go to TempoMeals.com/VINE.Apartments.com: The Place to find a place!EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (01:51) Carl reflects on watching himself back on Summer House — and the moment he realized he had a serious problem with drugs and alcohol.(36:17) The wild Chrissy Teigen & John Legend Sundance story… including the unexpected private plane ride home.(1:00:26) Carl opens up about dating while sober and how his priorities — and what he needs in a partner — have completely changed.(1:03:08) Carl teases what viewers can expect from the new season of Summer House and why things may look different for the original cast.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by BetterHelp. Your emotional well-being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash Vine. That's BetterH-E-L-P-L-P-com slash Vine. Bombas, head over to Bombas.com slash Vine and use code Vine for 20% off your first purchase. Nix, please grab yourself the uplift bra. This may just change your bra game for good. And don't forget to use the code Vine 15 for 15% off your order. That's K-N-I-X-E-S. dot com code vine 15 macy's now what i love is that macy's has become the place where you can rediscover your style or even find pieces that make you feel good confident and excited for a new season shop in store or online at macy's dot com tempo for a limited time tempo is offering o tv listeners

60% off your first box go to tempomiles dot com slash vine and apartments dot com the place to find a place you're listening to off the vine with kately bristow Hey, Vino's real quick, if you are listening right now, which obviously you are, you wouldn't be hearing this, can you hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're on? Please, that one simple thing helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast and making these episodes the best they can possibly be obviously for you. That's the only favorite I'm going to ever ask, okay? It truly means the world to me. Thank you. Now let's get into it.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. A new Bravo Girlie is in the house today. it me. I am so mad at myself that I have not gotten into Summerhouse until the last few days. Because I had Carl Radke on the podcast today. I was like, oh, I wonder if there's like how many seasons. I go back. I'm like, there's 10 seasons of this. And I started at season three. And I, I would eat, sleep and breathe summer house these last few days. And I can't wait to now go back and watch season one and two.

Because I'm like, I can't miss a beat here. So today's guest is obviously Carl Radke, somebody you've watched literally grow up in real time. Not just the highlight. Real version. You've seen the messy, so many seasons of Carl, the heartbreak, the grief, the sobriety, the rebuild, the rebrand. I am so proud of him. Carl first came into our lives on Summer House, but the version of Carl that we're meeting today is wildly different from the guy that we met almost a decade ago. He is nearly five years sober. So proud of him. Again, I'm going to keep saying that. He's written a memoir called Cake Eater, where he shares things he's never publicly said before. Even though he's an open book, there's still stuff we don't know. He launched his own podcast called More Life and he's co-founded softbar,

which is an alcohol-free social space built around intentional living and connection, which is so cool and also so hard to do. So Carl, welcome to the podcast. I know you've said before that watching yourself on Summer House helped you realize that you did have a problem, which I think is fascinating because most people never have to confront themselves directly like that. So what was harder for you living it or watching it back? Watching it back all day long. Yeah. Because, you know, I was drunk and blacked out during some of it. Right. And I'm the only way I can make sense of it is kind of like for me, I love sports. I love athletes. And for example, like the NFL, like they play on Sunday. That game is broadcast to a bunch of people. Everybody tweets and writes on Instagram. You

suck. You're great. I love you. But the players after that game go and watch film of the game. Right. And they look at how they performed and they played. And I've kind of used our show as that once I realized I had a problem, it was a mirror into my life that was actually what I needed. However, it wasn't an easy mirror to face because I had an idea of who I thought I was. And that version was absolutely the opposite of who I am. You know, I thought I was this fun, outgoing party boy. And I was a drunk, alcoholic, cocaine addict and an asshole and treated people terribly and really was not the best version of myself. But that was a sobering thing to watch on TV was realizing that I had a problem, but not knowing how to address it.

And was there, was it kind of like a collaboration of a lot of the things you watch back? Or was there a specific scene that you watched where you thought that's not who I want to be anymore? I mean, I think season four, which took place during the summer of 2019, I was drinking and doing a lot of Adderall, doing cocaine late at night. And, you know, how I behave towards Jules, who's. someone that I am still friends with. I've talked about this a few times, but it's something I'm still very ashamed of how I treated her and was really rude and disrespectful to someone that I actually

was friends with. I was really, really drunk and f***ed up. That doesn't make it okay. But I occasionally will still get messages from people about that, which took place seven or eight years ago. I've made amends to Jules. I've really tried to apologize and take accountability. It's funny. I messaged her a lot on social media and she's even said, like, stop, apologize. It's like, we're good. Like, we're good. But of course, I understand why the audience, if they watched that episode or you watched it last night, like it would upset you and I get it.

I totally understand where people are coming from. But yeah, that's a moment that stands out is something I'm still uncomfortable with because it's not who I am. But then I'd say like a year later, you know, season five, you know, I got a phone call that my brother had passed away from a drug overdose. I'm so sorry. So coupled with those two. two things were probably the two most pivotal moments that happened to me on the show.

I, yeah, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine that. And just like how something like that, like watching yourself back and then having such a tremendous loss and just that like you said, pivotal moment, what that can do to shift something in your whole body, your soul, your brain, everything. Like it's absolutely tragic. I can't even imagine that kind of tragedy. and I always hate, like my dad, so my dad's 35 years sober, and he always says, yeah, and he's my favorite

person on planet Earth. 35 is, I was going to say, that's a long time. Long time. He did five years on his own and then realized that going to meetings and getting the help was still important for him. And he always said, like, I'm so sad that it takes people having such a serious problem to have to go to AA because it's so life-changing and rewarding and rewarding and, you know, humbling and grounding and all the things. And my dad also lost his brother in a tragic car accident.

And again, just having to go through something so tragic, there's so much, you know, stuff that goes into it. That's, there's perspective. There's what you want to do in his legacy. And there's beautiful things that can come from it. But it's also just like, I mean, those two things are very hard to go through in life. So I, I'm very sorry for your loss. And I'm very happy for you for how you have handled that and how you move forward in life. No, I appreciate that. It's, it's, it's obviously. was very difficult and still something I'm, you know, processing the grief over. And, you know, I think if anybody that's out there that's lost a sibling or a loved one, you know, going through grief and processing the passing of someone you care about or, you know,

deeply love while drinking or using hard drugs, it was a death sentence for me. You know, I don't, like you were just alluding to, you know, you don't wish that rock bottom for anybody. But for me, you know, my brother passing and then a few months after that, I hit my hardcore rock bottom because I didn't get sober after my brother died. I actually turned the lights back on to drink. I was like, oh, I can go party again. That makes sense though. Like even when you were saying that one episode that I watched that I probably didn't agree with what you were saying, but I also hold so much empathy for people who have and struggle from addiction just because you're right. It's not an excuse, but it also is eye opening to understand certain people in my life that have been addicts,

like how the shame stays with you for so long. And for people who don't know, amends is, is part of like the 12 step program. Am I right? I'm making ams. Yeah. I mean, it's one of many kind of parts of,

you know, working a program of recovery and, you know, really to, yeah, you can be sober. That's fine. But then there's like all of the emotions and history and childhood

traumas and your dynamic with your family. Yeah. That a lot of times you drank to kind of suppress those feelings or not deal with that. And the 12 steps, regardless of your relationship with alcohol or drugs, I believe, is a great kind of moral fabric for how to navigate your own life or navigating relationships, professional or personal. There's great tools and resources within those 12 steps that allow you to work through difficult things sober. Even I will look through those steps to, you know, get some guidance sometimes. It's very powerful. Yeah, it's very powerful. And let me ask you

this because you know my dad i've asked him if i could be open about this kind of stuff too about his life because it's alcoholics anonymous and i feel like that kind of puts shame on another shame where i'm like where do you think the alcoholics anonymous is now like is it still supposed to be this anonymous hidden thing or do you feel like you it's a personal journey where you're like i feel comfortable talking about it or maybe you're like i actually would prefer to keep it anonymous. What is your take there? I'm very public about it. You know, I want to share loud for those who suffer in silence. I want to give someone confidence, whether it's just to their close family member or a friend to feel comfortable admitting or it's saying, hey, I need help. And the more

I think we're open either publicly or privately just with certain people, but it helps create less stigma, helps just create more conversation around, you know, people's addictions or recovery programs. Yeah. I understand where some folks come from. You know, for me, I am in a public position, you kind of saw me going through my stuff on TV. But I still want to be respectful to the community of AA. It saved my life. There is some nuance to the program that, you know, I think as social media has proliferated, and there's tons of people talking on TikTok and Instagram, I love seeing it.

I understand where maybe people 30, 40 years in the program are like, you know, why are you talking about sobriety? You've only been sober a year or two years. Like, you don't know what you're talking about. So what I try to operate from is I'm not a doctor. I'm not a therapist. I just know what's worked best for me. I got a sponsor. I did 90 meetings and 90 days.

It's called 90 and 90. I worked steps. I made amends. And by amends, I wrote things down and then started working from that. But it wasn't, you know, like for me, it was once I got to that room, it actually was like the best thing for me because it was happy people and smiling. And I was ready. And I saw an interview the other day from a friend of mine. You know, you've got to be ready.

Yeah. Some people aren't ready. And, you know, you can go to rehab. You can go to plenty of, you know, counseling or therapy services. But if you're really not ready, it's not going to work. But I was ready because I had really hit bottom. I think that was my dad's, like, he had five years under his belt. And then he was like, I still need like the help.

I need to actually take this one step further and continue to get the help because it's really a daily thing. Well, and that's the most important piece is it's one day to time. Yeah. But what people forget about, it's not just about yourself. And like, yes, it is about you. You got to do what's best for you. But when you show up for others in sobriety and in meetings, you actually are in service. And service is a huge component of staying sober.

I talk to people a lot who are like, Carl, I'm a year or two years sober, but I don't tell anybody. I'm just in my own little vacuum. That's hard. You know, when you're able to open up with other people going through similar things, it's a community and it's a group where you can feel safe and comfortable. And believe it or not, every time I go to a meeting, I hear or talk to someone and hear something that I didn't know I needed. Yeah. Every time. Every time. It could be something I'm going through professionally that like a boss or a coworker or something personally. And someone talks out also and you're like, wait, they're going through this too. And they're from a totally different background. They might have different ethnicity or sexuality. But they're similar connected.

Yeah. And every time I go to a meeting, I experience that. So it's, I think it's really difficult to really. stay sober or be happy sober without having some sort of community that you can connect with to talk about sobriety. I mean, I even, I've been to like my dad's like sober birthdays and even the humor in the room, you know, like, I see me smiling during the sober, the sober birthdays are the best. They are. Like people are laughing. People are, you know, giggling. There's a lot of, you know, embracing of crazy stories in the past. I mean, I laugh at the crazy shit now. But I think when you're laughing, it provides a little more healing around it versus like, if you're not, you're laughing, you maybe haven't done the work yet. Right. I am such a believer in humor being a part of like

healing in my opinion. It is definitely for me. And I, and that's something I really noticed when I would go to my dad's birthdays is one, the sense of community, the vulnerability, the embracing and the humor. Like all of it together. I was like, what a wonderful thing that my dad gets to attend. He does twice a week and he has not missed a meeting in 30 years. Amazing. Your dad is a legend. And I think just hearing how you talk about his program, you know, it's a gift that he was able to give you as well and being able to show up for you and be a better parent and a better

father. He is a light. He is a light and he doesn't, you know, I went through a phase in my, I don't know, I was like 18 to 25 where I would just black out. I still drink. I was doing it from a different place from my younger years. And my dad never ever made me feel. feel shame or bad, he would just try and be a light in my life to show what that world could look

like. He would come pick me up from the bar. I was such an asshole to him. And I was just like, I didn't even know who I was. Now, my drinking looks a lot different now in life. But it was just like from a deep place of like wounds and numbness then. And then I worked through a lot of things. Well, I love that he was non-judgmental. And I think that's a place I try to operate from. Yeah. I think when I first got sober, you know, it was like, oh, I'm like high. I was high and mighty. I felt like I was better than other people.

Yeah. And that actually created a little bit of tension with some people in my life. And I actually realized I'm no better, no worse than anybody. Yeah. I just need to take a step back and, you know, recognize that, hey, if that's what works best for you, do it. You know, I'll be here. If you need my support, call me anytime. But I try not to be too pushy.

Well, sometimes when you get passionate and you see the results that you felt, it's like you want to help other people that much, but it comes across as like superiority where you're actually just, your, your intentions are so pure. And then the impact is that you are acting high and mighty. But that's, again, great self-awareness that you, you came back from that. I had a thought because a lot of times in my bachelor, bachelorette journey, I really had a lot of anger towards producers looking back on certain things that I went through on that journey. But do you feel like you ever had resentment or anger towards the cameras or the producers, or do you think they ended up saving you in a way?

They saved my life. Wow. Full stop. Yeah, I wouldn't be here. I would not be sitting here on this conversation if it wasn't for the people behind the camera and the team that helps Summerhouse. And from the beginning of the whole show,

I mean, we started the first season in 2016. Yeah. That was when we first, the first season filmed, which, by the way, I do think you should watch the first season. I think that'll help.

Oh, I'm going to. I tried to, like, just go, like, where can I jump in from? But I'm not missing one episode. Well, I think it'll be even more, it'll be even more of a jump scare because we're younger and very, very raw. But yeah, I mean, twofold. Early on, I hated certain people behind the camera because I felt like they were trying to make me look bad. But I always had a lot of respect for these folks because they work their ass off.

They're very talented. And they give up their weekend. Our show films Friday morning till basically Sunday night. And they give up a lot of their summer weekends. But over time, I obviously started to trust. the producers and the cameras more. But I also was very, I got a lot of support from the internal team because they could recognize I was struggling.

And I actually had two of my favorite people involved with our show actually sat me down several times, completely honest and we're concerned. And one of the last times they sat me down, the concern was more than just alcohol. It was cocaine. It was my mental health. Right. And it was coming from a place of love and support. It wasn't coming from a negative or gotcha.

they really cared about me and still do to this day. Even when my brother passed away, they were incredibly grateful and kind to me about what I needed, how to navigate all that. But I think Bravo saved my life because I don't know if I would have seen my life like this. Yeah. No, that makes a lot of sense. I love that you can look at it from that perspective because I do think that has a lot to do with, you know, the journey that you're on and removing the ego and realizing that they have a job and they know what they're doing. and at times it might not feel like they have your best interest for the TV show, but they also are, that's their job.

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in the new year, like setting little tiny goals and making some 2026 resolutions. Like, sure, I've got the usual read more and hit the gym and take over my wellness journey and finally get jelly roll on my podcast. Come on, please. But this year, the top goal is just be comfy. Just be comfy. That's where Bombas comes in. They are bringing serious comfort to all of my everyday go-tos.

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It's a true, I mean, I call it. It's almost a documentary about a group of friends. But the nature of how our shows filmed is very different than every other show on Bravo except for one other show below deck. No other shows filmed like Summerhouse. Right. Every other show's filmed more scene or like location-based or our show's filmed at a house with cameras everywhere.

So you can't hide or edit your. yourself or produce yourself. So what I would say, the editing and the production of it all, they've made us look really good. Because if you saw us all the way we are really raw, unfiltered, you would hate every single one of us. Well, we are all, you know, humans with defaults and behavior that we're not proud of. And if everyone was filmed at all of their dark moments, holy man, I'd be in trouble. I'll say to some fans, too, I'm like, if I turn the camera back on you, you know, Friday, Saturday, Sundays for for a long time, I think I've, I'd probably have similar feelings to it.

So it's just part of how it works. 100%. But we've been very blessed with a great team. It's been a great group. And you said something at the beginning of this conversation, like, we're real friends. Yeah. And we can fight, but we get over stuff and move on. And I think that's what makes for better TV.

Some shows, you know, depending on what network, like they're still beefing over the same thing from three seasons ago or something. I will be over it. I'm like, I love watching people work through drama like family because that's how I would like to work through drama. Like I'm like, I'm not like the kind to brush anything under the rug. I'm like, no, let's talk about it because that's what's going to like get our emotions out and we'll feel it. We'll feel heard and then we move on.

I think you, you are different than I am. I sometimes am afraid to face some of the conflict. But it's actually really good exercise in facing those difficult conversations, having to work through a problem or something that's happened. And what I'm really proud of with our group is I think it's. awesome that we showcase to the audience certain ways to navigate a difficult situation. And it's not always perfect. But people do watch our show and I think draw maybe some different ways to navigate a personal

thing or a group thing or a friend thing. So yeah, we've put out there some very interesting debates and fights. Well, the casting is absolutely brilliant because everybody's a Carl. Everybody's a Lindsay. There's like there's all, all of you mirror somebody watching at home. and it's either been like a hard reality check for people or it's open their eyes. Like I'm sure Amanda and Kyle have there. There's so many couples like that in the world who had to go through what they went through.

And like, you know, it's just there's so many situations like that. And I don't want to be insensitive when I say this. And I'm like, I'm wondering if it was on TV and I did see. But what was if you're, you lost your brother and then you had rock bottom. What was that rock bottom that made you switch the gears? You know, the sadness and depression that I had from my brother passing was, you know, overwhelming. I was really sad and really just, it just was a huge struggle. I think the biggest problem I struggled with was, truthfully, was getting the phone call while we were filming.

People have said to me a lot over the years, like, thank you for sharing that. I'm like, deep down, we never would have wanted that on TV. Of course, I understand later it has the power of that. But I couldn't make sense of like getting that call and now this is going to be an episode of television. Yeah. So that my brother passed August 10th. I got the phone call August 11th at like 7.30 in the morning. My gosh.

From that moment, you know, I started drinking again. I started using again. And I got back to New York City in my, you know, Soho apartment that I used to party really hard in. And just I would drink and isolate alone. And I would order cocaine to my apartment. I do cocaine and drink and call people, FaceTime people. say crazy things. I did this for about three, four months, just like, just on the edge of just struggle. And I didn't, again, I was drinking and using because I was so depressed and angry

and sad. I also had declined. I had an opportunity to meet my brother about a month before he passed. And I declined it because I just wasn't ready. But I wanted to tell him, I was working on sobriety. I was trying to figure out how to stop drinking. And I wanted him to hear for me that I was doing better because he knew that it wasn't just alcohol with me. He knew I struggled with with coke. Right. So there was always that what if, what if I saw him, you know, or what if I talked to him? And then I'd say the last day of my drinking and using, I mean, I called some people I should not have called and basically threatened my life. And I'm not trying to make light of suicide or anything like that, but that's how dark and depressed and sad and how deep my addiction was.

And yeah, I just, I was basically in my head thinking, how am I going to deal with my brother passing away while the show's airing. Because the show airs about eight months after, you know, it happens. Oh, yeah. Oh, is that what the timing is? Okay. And then twofold was I was still using. Yeah.

And how am I going to be like this guy who's going through the passing of his brother? And this is a true story. I remember vividly I got, I get set like, you know, news articles from your publicist. Like, hey, it's this Us Weekly article or this People magazine. There was an article from, it's a UK, London-based tabloid called The Sun. And it was a headline, like fans praise. Carl Radke for how he's handling his brother's death. I'm reading this while literally cocaine's dripping out of my nose. Wow. Wow. I'm at home in my apartment by myself. And like I was basically,

here I am like, I'm a liar. I'm a fraud. My brother's gone. I'm an alcoholic. I'm a cocaine addict. How do I like get praised for being a good person in this? Like it just, it may be really screwed up in the head. And I knew I needed to get sober, but I didn't know how. And honestly, the last day of using when I woke up from all of that. And then not everybody feels this way, but I woke up and I had a lot of miscalls. I freaked and scared a lot of people. I did and said some crazy things. I was like, I can't live like this anymore. Yeah. And I called, actually texted and called a friend who I had known was going to AA. And believe it or not, six months before that, he had called me because he had heard I was kind of trialing some sobriety. And he basically was like, if you aren't

going to AAA, you're not going to be sober. Right. And he was kind of like, I like him a lot, but he was kind of a dick. It felt like. Yeah. And I'm like, you don't know me, man. Yeah. And I hung up the phone and I remember thinking, I just got a thing to what he's talking about.

And here I am eight, nine months later, calling him and saying, hey, man, I need help. And he put me on the phone or in touch with someone who was in New York City. He's a finance guy, 10 years sober. We had similar stories. But I called him. And it wasn't like this big bear hug. It was like, hey, man, I got a lot going on in my life.

If you want to call me every night at 8.30, I'll answer. We'll read the big book. You need to go to 90 meetings and 90 days. If you don't want to do it, I don't give a shit. This is what works for me. Like he was just like the opposite I thought, but it was what I needed. Yeah. Yeah.

It always is, isn't it? The opposite. It's always that. How long have you been sober now? It's over five years. I hit five years in January. I'm so happy for you. Thank you.

It's been, it's saved my life. It's changed my life. You know, I've learned. I've learned and met so many amazing people. And that's the part that I never would have dreamt. I had this vision. Now, it's because of my. brother partly. My brother was, he lived a hardcore life. Like he had been homeless. He had been in and out

of rehabs and jails. Our family really tried to support. But anybody who's got a sibling and a family who struggles, it's a whole family thing that we've tried to figure out and navigate. But yeah, like he, he lived a hardcore life. So I had this perception of AA and some of these facilities is like, I'm, I'm not as bad as they are. Why would I need that kind of thing? Of course, it's not a great way to think, but the whole world of AA and that recovery community has given me a whole new lease on life. And I didn't realize that that would be the case. The first meeting I went to here in New York City, everybody was smiling. And I was like, what the fuck is going on here? But I realized, you know, this is this community of folks that come together, you know, to share their strength and hope

and try to support each other. And it's been a beautiful thing. But I've learned a ton. I've met a lot of people. But you still got to do the work. You still got to like, always. those emotions and your life still happens, you know, so. But I bet you are so much further in your, like just in who you are as a man, you are probably so much further than you ever thought you could be in five years from five years ago. Like five years in a sober world is like, it's like doing 30 years of therapy, I feel like. I don't, I mean, it's, I feel like this is always where I was supposed to be.

It just took me some time to find it. Timings everything. You know, exactly. I mean, you got to be ready for it. And I was ready. And I don't wish the rock bottom on anyone, but no. I mean it. I was even prior to that, just knew I had an issue.

I knew I needed to get help. I did know how to start, but I just, I have no desire to drink anymore. But, you know, I've had what they call and, you know, you may have some listeners that go to the meetings, but it's a spiritual awakening to some degree. Yep. And I had to turn stuff over. And my higher power is my brother, you know, and I look at my brother as he's carrying on, you know, a story that I think people need to do. to hear and how fragile and delicate life can be. But I'm able to carry on his message and carry on his best qualities to better help other. And that's what I try to do is help other people. And I've

compared myself to other people in this Friday. You just made me cry because I thought that was so beautiful. I'm like, your brother is your higher power. You are living a legacy for him and for you. And I feel like it's that is so beautiful. Like no matter what way you do it, it's the right way because it's your way. My brother was a very hardworking guy. He would take his shirt off his back for anybody. And even in his last months of being in rehab, you know, the facility had talked to my parents after he passed and they had shared different stories about him. And some of it was really special to hear, which is he was helping the younger people.

I mean, he even administered Narcan a few times to overdose. You know, people were overdosing in rehab or, or, or, halfway houses, you know, there's been a lot of stories that have come up since he's been gone that really show who he was. So I've tried to carry on some of that and turn a lot of our family's story into trying to help other people. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, growing up with a family member that has addiction, probably similar to maybe having an adult or a brother or sister, it's really confusing. I was five years younger than my brother. So I didn't understand a lot growing up. I used to watch my brother shoot heroin and I didn't know that's what he was really doing. Wow. But there was a lot of

things that I started to experience as a young kid being in a household with addiction like that. And it was really confusing for me. I used to hate him and make fun of him and rip on addiction. Yeah. But it really actually was me projecting my own deep down. You just didn't know the, you just didn't even know that emotion or that word yet of projection. But that's, I was going to ask like what is, because I think there's a lot of misconceptions when people are, you. using about the kind of person they are. And I was going to, you kind of touched on it. I was going to ask like, what do you want people to know about your brother?

Yeah, he was incredibly talented athlete. He was a great baseball player. Yeah. You know, anybody that knew my brother knows the baseball stuff, you know, incredibly talented with his hands. He was a hardworking. He loved flowers and planting and gardening. He also was very gifted with building and constructing.

He did a lot of labor, like hard labor, bricklay. and construction, but also just had a spirit when he was, when he had his wits about him, very funny, very, very funny and very intelligent, but had like had an adventure and energy for life when he had his shit together. So I, you know, as we talk about it, it makes me miss him, but of course. I try to, I try to carry on his best qualities, his best, as best I can and try to honor honor him and honor my family. And getting sober was a gift that I gave my parents. Yeah, of course. That's been a beautiful thing because being able to show up for her and my dad, you know, I used to call them late at night and say crazy things. And now it's not that. And they're

just, they're proud. I know. But, you know, it still doesn't take away that pain sometimes. Okay. I did not realize how much I was compromising with my bra. I always thought I had a comfy one until I started wearing this one. You know when something looks really good, but it's kind of uncomfortable and you just think, Pain is Beauty. Then the second you get home,

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Wait, I just thought about this. I'm wearing it right now. It's called the Uplift Bra and it completely changed my expectations. I love it in cherry red. It's like a little sexy moment for me and me only. And the color is just so. such a vibe. It just makes you feel confident the second you put it on. It gives you that lift and shape you want without any wires digging on in your skin or making you really uncomfortable

halfway through the day. So it has molded cups with built-in foam panels. That gives you a subtle push-up effect but still feels so soft, so supportive, and comfortable enough to wear all day long. And Nix offers such great size range so you can really find your perfect fit. Head over to nix.com. Please grab yourself an uplift bra. This may just change your raw game for good. And don't forget to use code Vine 15 for 15% off your order. That's K-N-I-X.com Code Vine 15. Is it just me or do you as well start mentally transporting yourself somewhere coastal? Even if I'm just at home or running around town, I just find myself craving that slower, lighter energy. You know that feeling when you're near the ocean and everything just feels calmer and you feel like you're just one with the ocean? Just me? I don't

no, you're not rushing, you're not overthinking, you know, what you're wearing and everything just feels a little effortless. I've realized that fashion can actually create that feeling for you, even if you're nowhere near the water. I was browsing Macy's and they have a trend forecaster, which is so cool and their trend forecasters are calling this the classic coastal trend. And it made so much more sense to me because it's not about dressing like you're literally on vacation. It's just about bringing that kind of ease into your everyday life. It's those clean, timeless pieces that make you feel put together without trying too hard. I think for me, that's always kind of been the goal. I don't want to feel like I'm wearing something that's wearing me, per se.

I want to feel comfortable, confident, and just like myself. And there's just something about coastal inspired pieces that just naturally do that. It's the breathable fabrics, I think, the relaxed silhouettes and those subtle details that feel thoughtful but not overdone. So I've always loved stripes for that season. There's just something so timeless about them. You can throw on a striped button down or sweater with jeans and instantly the whole outfit feels elevated, especially with some jewelry. It's just one of those never really going out of style moments, but somehow always feels fresh depending on how you wear it. Their linen also, another big one for me this time of year, after months of heavier fabrics, putting on something lighter just changes your whole mood. I actually

wear a lot of linen around the house anyways, and it feels like you can breathe again. Amazing, how much texture and fabric can affect how you feel throughout the day, right? I've also learned over time It's not about overhauling everything at once. It's more about finding one or two pieces that shift your wardrobe into that new season. So maybe it's a lightweight layer, a new pair of denim, or an accessory that ties everything together. Those pieces become the ones that you reach for over and over because they just make you feel good. I love feeling good and clothes. Have you got that note yet?

I feel like I'm really, really drooling at home. What I love about the classic coastal trend is that it's not loud. It's confident in a quiet way and it's clean linen, thoughtful details. pieces that don't need to scream to be noticed. It's that effortless energy where you look put together, but it also doesn't look forced and it was just easy for you. I want to make things easy for you, okay? Macy's has so many options that capture that feeling.

It's just one of those places where you can discover pieces that you didn't even know you were looking for. Now, you might go in for one thing and leave with something that completely refreshes how you feel about your wardrobe. I've noticed that when I wear pieces that feel aligned with where I'm kind of at in life, everything else shifts to. I want to say I'm speaking your language. I just feel like you feel more grounded and more confident and it's not, you know, about impressing anyone else.

It's about how you feel in your own skin and in your own outfits. And that is what this season always reminds me of. Spring is just a reset, reinvention, a chance to let go of the heaviness, step into something lighter, not just physically, but mentally too. And sometimes it's as simple as putting on something that makes you feel like the best version of yourself, even if you're just going about your normal day. So shop in store or online at macy's.com. You just never know who you're inspiring because I heard also that like Chrissy Teigen is someone that publicly credited you for looking at her drinking. Like you, how would you ever know that you're, you never know who is being impacted by your story? And that, I'm so glad you brought that up, Caitlin, because that's, I think that's the power of what this whole thing can be.

Yeah. Is I didn't, I mean, I've, of course have gotten to know Chrissy through the world of TV. She's a big Bravo fan. Yeah. Her and John have loved Summer House for many years. I was blown away. I think it was in 2020. Her and John were watching and posted an Instagram story.

And I was like, that's us on TV. But it just was wild. It is funny, right? But I've developed a friendship with her. And, you know, a couple of years ago, I was at Sundance Film Festival. And I ran into Chrissy and she invited me to fly back on her plane with John. And I flew back with them. It was a really, it was a funny story because it got told in the media by,

Chrissy on Andy Cohen's podcast. John didn't know I was coming. I had seen Chrissy earlier in the day at this film event and she had invited me but didn't tell him. So I show up to the plane at like 9 o'clock that night. He's like, John basically looks like he's like, Carl, what are you doing here? And he knew me. Oh, yeah.

It's not who the fucking guy. It's Carl. What's happening? Well, apparently this is later when I did Chrissy's podcast about two months ago, a month and a half ago, which is the post you're referencing that she said. She told me on the. podcast. She goes, I'm not kidding, Carl. I've been married to John a long time. I've never seen him that flustered and kind of weird around someone before. I'm like, me? She's like, no, you're just

like that guy from Bravo and like you're tall. I'm like, that's so funny. We had spoken a little bit about sobriety that, that plane ride a little bit. Yeah. And then we had kept in touch on Instagram. I just told her, just keep doing what's best for you. Don't let anybody just listen to your body, be honest, be real, and, you know, just little things like that. And then I went out to her podcast. We sit down, we're talking. And she's talking. And I'm like, I don't think she's ever said this stuff before, really.

But she felt very comfortable saying it to me. And I'm on the edge of my seat. Like when people are honest and very vulnerable, I'm like, give me more. Give me more. Yes. And she was saying things about, you know, certain drinking and certain stories she had never had talked about. And I was so proud of her.

We hugged after. It was emotional. It was a really beautiful conversation. kept in touch a little bit. But I kind of like basically was like, listen, Chrissy, if it's two days or 50 days, that's okay, just as long as you're open and honest. But the more you're open and honest, you're going to help so many people. So because what people will see is like it's not this linear direct path.

And all sobriety, unfortunately, isn't just flipping a switch. Yes, there are people that are ready and it happens. But there are some folks, me, I knew I had a problem in 2019. I didn't get sober until 2021. Right. I told her, you know, keep doing what's best for you, keep listen to your body, keep surrounding yourself with good people. And that was it. And then on my birthday, which is two weeks ago, my publicist texts me or someone text me, hey, look at your Instagram. Chrissy Teagan just posted.

And I'm thinking she's posted something about Summerhouse. And I'm reading it and I'm in the photo, but I didn't realize it was about me until like I finished it. I'm like, that's about me. Holy shit. And it just goes to show you don't realize that you're impacting someone. This is the same thing I wanted to share. I've been stopped in New York City before. on the street. I get pulled aside or people see me and they say, hey, Carl, you've helped me. Yeah. I had this instance and I wish I remembered her name, but she stopped me in Rockefeller Center coming up out of the subway. Hey, Carl, you saved my life. And I was like, in my head, I'm like, I didn't do anything. Like, are you kidding me? Yeah. But what I said to her, you are

going to help someone the way I helped you, which is you're going to be moving different. You're going to be acting different. You're going to be sounding different. And someone in your life, friend, colleague, co-worker is going to notice and you're going to be doing what I did to you without realizing it to them and I go that's how it works keep going keep doing what you're doing keep going that is exactly it really is it's so beautiful and then you help somebody who has a massive platform who now is feeling more inspired to help on her level of a platform like it's just what a beautiful little like snowball effect I know I'm very grateful for that but I feel like I get more credit than I deserve sometimes so it's that imposter feeling you know

I, Chrissy's done the work too and she's, you know, had to fight her own stuff that I'm here to support her. I want her to feel comfortable and, you know, someone of her stature and her platform, like you said,

it's she can really help a lot. I don't even know her and I want to support her. And I feel like she gets, she gets it so bad online, which I'm sure she's like is used to it or maybe she's not, but she's human. And we're like Instagram friends, but I'm like,

she's another person where I'm like, I don't know you and I'm rooting for you. Yeah. I'm rooting for her too. She's got, you know, a beautiful family. And I, listen, she absolutely has a past. So do I. So do a lot of people.

And my question always is at what point is there the line of like, this isn't the person anymore? Yeah. And they've taken accountability. They've apologized. They've really tried their best. There's a lot of examples of this. And for her, it seems like there's been no grace or any kind of look at like this is years

ago. She said some wild things or whatever it was. obviously people make mistakes but it's i i agree it's i'm just so proud of her because i think the more she continues to work at it and be honest it's going to just continue to help her life too these moments these strangers these conversations people opening up to you you opening up to others i feel like it's like it's just so much deeper than what some people might even think it is and then kind of gives your journey a whole new sense of purpose which takes me to my next point you wrote a memoir called cake eater.

I got it right here just in case. Yes. Show it to everybody. I feel like writing a book requires a whole different level of like self confrontation. Yes. Just a small amount. Did it crack you open more than you thought it would?

Yeah. And it still is. I appreciate you asking that because I was really excited about this opportunity. You know, I've been, I've been very fortunate to be on Bravo for 10 years now. And yeah. I've seen, I've seen other friends of mine, you know, on other Bravo. shows that have written books that were very well received. And I saw, you know, certain people that had less seasons of TV than I've had and have written great books. I was like, maybe I should

write one. I've been on TV long enough. But it took some time to find the right person. I found an amazing woman out of Canada who really believed in my story. And she really helped take a lot of what's going on up here and here and get it down. But once I got it out, going editing and through it, I wrote it, but I was definitely going through the process of like reviewing it. And I didn't want to be, I don't want to lie. I want to be authentic and honest. I didn't want to throw anybody under the bus. I wanted to take accountability and really own my role in certain things. But I had to be delicate too. I didn't want to hurt anybody. I didn't want to revise a story in a way that would be disingenuous or impact someone in a negative way. So that's really hard because I think about that often with writing a book. I'm like in a much more mature headspace than I ever had been. And before like five years ago, I would have wrote a book and I would have just been a little bitch. And now I'm like, oh, I don't want to like affect other people.

And I want to still share my story and be honest. But that's what I feel like the word for your book kind of is. Like I feel like this book is you taking accountability. Exactly. And that was the whole, the goal was to help someone. The goal was to try and, you know, take accountability. The goal was really trying to put my story out there so people really understood, you know, more about who I was. And can people just get it wherever they find all their books? Yeah, it's,

you know, Barnes & Noble, Simon & Schuster, you know, there's a lot of outlets. And I also, I also did my audio book with Audible. I was just going to ask that. Yes. Okay, awesome. So people can that must have been really hard too, because I feel like saying words is releasing emotion. And to read out loud what you've written and go through those experiences, people hear that in an audible book. Like it draws me in when I hear people reading their own books. Yeah, it was something like, because of the TV part of my life and people maybe know my voice or hear it, you can obviously hear some of the inflection of certain stories and certain things I share. You know, it wasn't, it wasn't easy reading it. I'm not going to lie. There was moments talking about my brother and

other past stories that were very emotional. But the team at Audible is incredible. Like they've maybe felt, feel so safe and comfortable. And the editing quality of the audio recording, like you don't hear me cry really, but I was. It was hard for sure. Wow. There's a lot of people out there who also have loved someone who struggled with addiction, with like emotional availability, avoidance. What do you wish people understood about what someone in that place is actually going through internally? I mean, if they really could get help or like really get out of their own way, they would. A lot of times I think there's things behind, you know, the body or behind closed doors. It's hard to really understand what someone's going through or feeling. But yeah, I mean, I think like there's

resources like Al-Anon, which has been really powerful for me. just dealing with an understanding addiction or mental health challenges in a family. You know, Alonon is really for people that have family members that struggle. And I actually went to an Al-Anon meeting in New York not that long ago, which actually was really helpful for my grief with my brother. Like there was a piece of something that I picked up at a meeting. So anybody out there who's got a family member that's still alive, Al-Anon. If they're not alive, Al-Anon.

Either way, it could be helpful for those people that still have family members that are alive that are struggling. But being able to show up for those others is huge. Yeah, I'm glad you said that. I think a lot of people don't even know that's out there as a resource. Yeah, Al-Anon is a beautiful thing. I mean, depending on what city or state you live in, they should have different meetings. There's, you know, of course, online resources you can access where those meetings are located. But I found a lot of solace in the Al-Anon community as well. And now you've obviously built an entire life and business around sobriety, which brings me to soft bar, which is amazing because I was watching.

And this is not to dig it, Lindsay, this by no means is, but she was kind of like not on board with your, she's like, he wants to be a motivational speaker. He wants to open this bar. That was a hard no for her. He wants to write a book. He got podcast equipment. And now I'm like, you're doing all the things that you like, we're getting in your own way of. And I think that's really amazing. So software, it's not just a business.

It's a completely different version of your life. So what did you realize was missing from social spaces once you got sober? I mean, just options that are healthy. And for me, you know, just because I'm not drinking alcohol, it doesn't mean I want to replace it with sugar and carbs and a lot of calories. And unfortunately, in the world of hospitality and food and beverage, I mean, five years ago, a macktail, yeah, might have been on the menu, but a lot of times the options were just like a sugary soda or something that I wasn't

really wanting. So I really think the opportunity is in healthy non-alc, but then also like elevated, Not like dry or boring, good music, good design, good food, great community, like quality kind of aesthetics and experience driven. And so what we deliver is not only healthy non-alcoholic beverages and really upscale premium, but also we have a cool space in a beautiful kind of bar and cafe that it's non-judgmental. It doesn't matter if you're sober or not. We just don't serve alcohol.

But it's a place, a third space so you can be yourself, work on a computer by yourself or take a meeting with a friend or hang out. I think we need third spaces that are alcohol-free where people can connect and hang out and have fun. There's some people in life who, like, you know, are comfortable around alcohol if they're sober. They're comfortable being in situations like that. And then there are people who aren't there yet,

who that can be a space where they can, like, meet other people and feel safe and feel seen and feel heard. Where in New York is it? It's in Brooklyn, Green Point, Brooklyn. I love Brooklyn. Oh, amazing. It's in a really cool section of Williamsburg and Greenpoint. Beautiful.

There's really cool restaurants and kind of fitness and wellness nearby. But we have a really beautiful, like, industrial space that I turned into a, excuse me, a bar cafe. Really high ceilings. Super cool design. It feels really warm and welcoming. You got to come see us. Oh, and I will for sure, everybody listening, if you're ever visiting there or live in that area, you should actually go. Yeah, come through.

Talk to me about relearning how to socialize without alcohol. because I know a lot of people even just like having a drink in their hand makes them feel better. And I think that's probably a difficult space or transition is re-learning how to socialize without the drink. You know, there's certain things that have worked really well for me, which is like the placebo effect. We also have, I mean, I just happen to have this here. Sorry for the plug, but. No, plug. That's what podcast is for.

Plug away. It's a lover boy non-alcoholic tea. So this is only 10 calories and zero sugar. It's got a lot of good flavor. But it looks just like what everybody else is drinking. So the key is I'm signaling to you that I'm partaking in some way. But to me, I'm just a part of the party. So you don't think I'm holding like a pollen spring water or just something boring.

And I've learned a lot in social settings. If you can just get someone to think you're still a part of the party, it'll take away that awkward. Well, why aren't you drinking? That is awkward because what I say to back to people, I say, well, I'm an alcoholic. And then they're like, oh, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, no, it's actually why I'm here right now is because I admitted I have a problem. Yeah. I also have had a lot of practice with just putting myself in those, putting myself in some of

these social settings because of the work I've had to do in my professional life, some of the things I do for TV. Now, for some people, it's maybe not a natural thing. I'm a social person. But what's interesting is I really, I did a lot of work in the last few years, just drawing back to like who I was as a kid. And I was like, I didn't drink when I was a kid. I didn't do drugs when I was a kid.

I was happy. A lot of energy. Talked to everybody. It was friendly. was kind, that's me now. Like I just drove back because we're all of our five-year-old, eight-year-old selves. I'm just trying to really kind of bring some of those

best qualities of who I was as a kid because I didn't drink or do drugs. I was a kid. And I was happy and did great things. Exactly. Yeah. So for me, going to a bar, it was like, I can go out again. I can actually have a life outside of staying at home. But for everybody that maybe not how they're,

it takes time for them to get comfortable. There's a thing in AA, people, places, and things. you know, if you're going to go back to those same spots with those same people and those same things, it can be really challenging. So I did take some time away from the bar or certain places and some friends. But over time, you know, as I've gotten more comfortable in my program and I just, I have no desire. I'm around people all the time that drink. And I'm like, go for it. It's kind of like I don't, I don't eat certain foods because it makes me have indigestion or heartburn. Even though I love, I love like sausage and peppers, meatballs or pastas, but it actually,

makes me have like a shittier day. Isn't it just such a like simple explanation that with just so much depth to it at the same time? I feel like I feel like when you remove alcohol also you you kind of touch on this, but you also remove a habit. Sometimes you lose identity. Sometimes even relationships come and go. Certain people say and certain people go.

Did you experience that? Yeah. I mean, I definitely had some shifts in friendships and, you know, and I think that's okay, though. It's very, as you evolve and get older, you know, people get married, people have kids, people have different interests and hobbies. And right now, my interests and hobbies, I really like had to find this new community of people. And the community of AA, the community of fitness and wellness has really opened up to other friends. Yeah, you got into running. Exactly. Running people really freak me out. It's like, I'm like, you just run for a long period of time

and you get high on that. I'm like, I don't get it. hip start hurting after five minutes and I'm just like but again like you just you really do um kind of find a new community and then the people who really were your friend like they see a better version of you eventually and then they went oh wait I love being around them yeah I mean most of my like the real ones were like when I told them they're like thank God yeah and I was a I was a nightmare to be around I mean I really was like I hated myself when I drank and did a lot of cocaine like I really did but Yeah. When those told those real friends, like, hey, they were like, oh, my God, thanks.

Like, they were excited. Of course, some other friends were, do you really think you have a problem? You know, that kind of thing? Of course. That's okay. Projection. Exactly. So I try not.

Yeah. I try not to get too preachy, but I always say, you know, I'm here to support you anyway I can. I try to operate from a non-judgmental place. I think there's a variety of ways people can get sober. A is what's worked best for me. But I understand there's other ways. to get help and get support.

But yeah, I've been very lucky. How exciting that you get to continue on this journey, right? Like it's only going to get better. And you also started your More Life podcast, which is awesome because that's just another platform for you to like have other people on who go through similar experiences or your friends or tell everybody about your podcast and where they can find it. Yeah. So I launched a podcast called More Life with Carl Radke.

It came out about a month ago. It's with Sony music. I'm really excited because got a lot of good, you know, people. involved to help make this like visually and look great and sound great. But it looks awesome. I love conversations and I love learning and getting better and getting learning more how to be a better version of myself. I don't have it all figured out, but I have an urge and desire to figure more out. And I want to invite people in to talk about a difficult moment in their life or overcoming an obstacle. It could be getting sober. It could be getting fired from a job.

It isn't all rooted in sobriety. It could be mental health. It could be today's episode that dropped with Ali Colbert, who's a good friend. You know, she's a lesbian, stand-up comedian and talks a little bit about her coming out story. And it's really beautiful to hear these kind of things that I think sometimes we suppress and bury inside. And I just want to give a platform and space for people to feel comfortable to share. That's also why I love what you're doing is you're helping reshape kind of what

vulnerability can look like for men as well. Like women, of course. And sometimes we, like I sometimes pride myself on vulnerability until I'm put in a vulnerable position that I don't want to be in and then I shut down and then I go, oh, do I like vulnerability? But I feel like you are helping like men publicly be vulnerable and talk about uncomfortable things that again, every time it's just going to form more community. Yeah. And I think, I mean, listen, I'm on a network that's predominantly watched by women. You know, I think Bravo's probably the most watched network among women. I actually think that's that. However, you know, being in a position

of as a male and I've always been, I mean, I started going to therapy with my family in fifth grade, because of my brother's stuff. So I was kind of always, I didn't talk about therapy with my friends because you were fucked up or crazy. Exactly. But now it's like, no, I look at therapy like going to the gym,

but for your brain and your emotions. And if I want to be in good shape and look good and feel good, I got to take care of it too. So I really believe, you know, opening up more about the mental health for men because I think it's okay to be sensitive. It's okay to have emotions.

It's also okay to come from environments And so tough it out, be stoic and bury it. Like, that's a lot of how men are raised and I was raised similar. But I'm in a position of influence and want to support people being a little more vulnerable and open. And I think if I can help peek that door open a little bit, let's do it. One thing that I have been really protective of lately is my time and my energy. I said that with conviction because it is so easy to lose an hour figuring out what to eat, cooking, cleaning, or just standing in front of the fridge, hoping something appears.

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when so many millions of people have these opinions about you. I mean, I think part of it is what I've tried to do over the last maybe eight to 10 months, which is putting a book out, putting a podcast out, opening a business, like follow your passions, listen to your body. If people hate you for being who you really are, great. I'd rather be hated for exactly who I am than to be liked for who I'm not. Kurt Cobain, that's my favorite quote on planet Earth. I have it on a T-shirt.

That was my motto going into The Bachelor because I have a weird obsession with Kirk. Cobain and I've read like every book on him. And when I heard him say that, I was like, that is my life mantra. And that's how I went into TV. And that's how I still live my life. I love that. You just said that. Yeah, I really believe in that. It's funny. My brother's name was Curtis, Kurt Cobain. And I have an uncle named Kurt. So there's a lot of connection to that, which I appreciate. But yeah, I mean, listen, I think a lot of times, too, we were talking about projection with a friend or someone in your life. But I think you have that also on social media. And people relate to our stories watching the shows.

And a lot of times, I think if you're getting a negative comment from someone, I mean, they're probably going through something. They may have a struggle inside it. They don't know how to deal with. So I try to operate from a lot of grace, you know, and then believe it or not, I, to this day, 10 years in on Bravo, maybe once or twice when I was drunk, I've never had anybody come up to me and say anything. never but hey i love this show can i take a picture or big fan or you've helped me like we're very lucky and very blessed but the social media stuff if you can really operate from a place of if someone's saying really negative or nasty or mean they're probably dealing with something also in their life offered them grace i try to pray for for others yeah of course it doesn't always work i feel it

you know people rip on me for i mean we get a lot of the negativity generally towards me is like my physical appearance. I mean, I have very large pronounced ears. I was always made fun of as a kid. I was always bullied as a kid about my ears. Dumbo is like a nickname. It is what it is. I just, I have big ears and sometimes the way my hair can look. I get I get ripped on about my appearance. Go for it. Because if they met me in person, they wouldn't say that to my face. So no, never. Nope. And they're probably so insecure about something on their body. And I've been. Yeah. Trust me. I've been insecure too. And I've lashed out at others. So I've tried to like. to say, you know what, all good.

That's why you're able to speak from it, from a place of grace is because you've had the self-realization that you've done it before and you understand where it's coming from. And if they haven't realized that in themselves yet, like, that's too bad for them because it's not a fun way to live. I've also been there. Are you, are you dating? I mean, I've been single. I've been dating a little bit here and there.

Yeah. But, you know, as we, you just mentioned six different things I'm doing all at the same time. So I was thinking. I can't even imagine adding dating dating. to the mix. I've been trying to date. Like, over the summer, you'll see a little bit on the new season. I think, I mean, I did do some dating. But right now, I would love to meet someone that, you know, I've, I've met a lot of amazing women. I've had some really fun dates. But I also have a lot going on. So kind of compartmentalizing what's more important right now, which is my career and opening soft bar,

starting the podcast, getting the book out. I've been out a book tour for the last two months. I've been a new season of Summerhouse that just came back. The podcast I record every week. I'm running the marathon at the end of April in London. You're busy. I want to, I'm looking. He's booked and busy, everybody. I want to meet someone, but I certainly have met a lot of great people. It's just, we'll see what happens.

You being sober, you in this hardworking era, this life that you're living right now, does it change what you need out of a partner? Do you, somebody actually asks us on one of the questions, so I'll just say it now. Are you looking for somebody that lives the same kind of lifestyle as you? Are you into dating somebody who still drinks? Like, what is your take on that dynamic? It doesn't matter either or. You know, if someone has a healthy relationship with alcohol or substances, that's, that is like a hard, yes.

Like, I need that. I still believe if someone, you know, is sober, I could date them. But if they still want to have a drink or two, that's great. Whatever works best for them. I think there's other qualities in an individual that I'm looking for that are outside of those kinds of things. I know that's like the obvious thing from the outside. But I've met a lot of people in sobriety and met a lot of amazing women. you know, the ones I've met thus far, nothing's transpired. So, you know, I like having my sober

but I'm open to dating someone who's not sober as long as they have a healthy relationship of substances and alcohol. Yeah, I hear that. I think that's very fair. And then lastly, you kind of touched on it by saying you're in the new season, you're kind of dating. Talk to me about Bailey Taylor. No, she's awesome. I feel like we're being hinted at certain things, but what else can you hint at. I mean, you'll, you'll have to watch. I mean, it's, she's a new, you know, a new cast member, which I think a lot of people are, you know, enjoying getting to know her. I'm also getting to know her too. I just met her, you know, two episodes ago of TV, you know, I met her in the summer, but you'll see how it kind of, it was just fun. Like, I had some fun flirtation with her.

She and I had really funny jokes and banter. She's cute. I think, I think she, yeah, I mean, you'll see, like even tonight's episode, you know, she's got her interest on someone else. So, So like it's, and that's okay. But like, it's a long season. I can't wait to watch. I'm like, yay, there's new seasons. Which is again, I'm like, you mentioned that this might be last time the original group is together. Is that because of potential spinoffs?

Or can you speak on that? Yeah. I mean, I only said that because there is a spinoff happening called In the City. And Kyle, Amanda, Lindsay and a few other friends are a part of that. I'm not a part of that. I filmed a, you know, a little moment with Kyle at soft bar at some point, which Yeah, they were focusing on kind of the married couples and kind of the life after being in the Hamptons, you know, you're a little more settled down or in a relationship or, you know, a mother or whatever it might be. You know, I didn't have some of those, I think, characteristics.

So it wasn't. Right. Yeah, it wasn't asked. But Kyle and Amanda are, they're broken up. Yeah, that just happened recently, though. Oh, so when it was filming. Okay. So I'm trying to think of how this timeline works.

So, because I was going to say you've had deep friendships on the show with Kyle and Amanda. and when people you love and know go through hard seasons and relationship struggles, how do you show up for both people without feeling like you're betraying somebody? Did they both kind of have understandings of that? I mean, I think so. You know, I've always, I mean, Kyle is my best friend. I love Amanda and adore her. I've really tried to show up for her as well.

She's got a lot of great friends and support. Basically, you just like to have to navigate that like because they're both your friends and they both understand. Yeah, it's not an easy situation to navigate. my heart goes out to them. I've really tried to show up for both of them individually and together. But, you know, breakups are tough. So I'm just wishing them.

So hard. I just wish them all the best. And I wish it's just sucks. It's sad all around. But I do think as time will unfold, I hope you'll see that they are going to be hopefully happier in different directions. There you go. And that's all you ever want for your friends, you know?

I feel like I asked everything already that fans were asking that I was going to do a Q&A for. I feel like I kind of touched on everything. Is there anything else that you wanted to say before we wrap this up that I didn't touch on? No, I just appreciate the opportunity and I appreciate you watching the show. And thanks for asking such great questions and just being so kind and considerate of just some of the things I've shared. I've really appreciate it. Obviously, you know, you have a family member who understands and relates to some of this and being, you know, in that position as yourself is not easy. So I just really appreciate you give me the opportunity to talk.

Thank you for having me on. and hopefully you enjoy the rest of the season. You have a new fan of me. The show has a new fan in me. I do want to say, like, did you call your brother Kurt or Curtis? Curtis. I think Curtis is very proud of how you're living your life. And I am just so grateful for your openness and vulnerability.

And I just really enjoyed talking to you. And I thank you. And I want everybody to go buy your book. I want everybody to go check out softbar. And I want everybody to listen to your podcast because you're doing good things. Thank you. That means a lot. Next time you find yourself in Brooklyn, once that visa gets sorted out, you'll come see softbar.

I'll also get you your own copy of cake eater as well. I would love that. I would absolutely love that. And of course, people who are listening, they're probably all watch Bravo. But if they don't, where can they find you? Yeah, you can find you on Instagram, TikTok, Carl Radke, C-A-R-L-R-A-D-K-E. But you can also find, you know, my book on, you know, Barnes & Noble, Indigo in Canada. Yes.

It's in those bookstores and then, you know, Audible for the audiobook. And if you want to listen to my podcast, More Life, it's available on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcasts. Carl, I will say, like, your story is one of the most honest transformations that people have witnessed in real time over a decade, which is amazing. And I think what makes it so powerful is that you didn't just change your habits. You changed your relationship with yourself for the better. And you can just see it in the way you carry yourself.

And then you can watch Carl on the new season of Summer House, airing Tuesdays on Bravo and streaming on Peacock. Thank you so much. Go enjoy the rest of your day. And I'll hit you up next time I'm in that area, which was supposed to be right now. But it'll be, it'll be soon. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. This is the mindset. Free.

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Hazzal. Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. You're welcome. Hi, I'm Lauren. And I'm Chandler. And we're the host of Pop Apologist Podcast, a weekly podcast devoted to celebrity gossip, Hollywood Deep Dives, Real Housewives, Drama, and Anything and Everything, Taylor Swift.

We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture, in the fact that A-listers might mean more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for Pop Apologists. Pop Apologists, your new favorite sister and celebrity podcast.