Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Catching Up w/ BFF Lo VonRumpf: Sexuality, Celebs, & #MooseFacts

Episode Date: March 21, 2023

It’s been a hot minute since these two besties had a second to chat – on and off the mic – so on this episode, all the vinos are catching up and getting in on the low down alongside them. Per usual, KB & Lo are not holding back as they talk about everything from the Kinsey scale of sexuality to celebrity hot topics to moose facts (yes, you read that correctly). Kaitlyn fills us in on her recent trip to the homeland and Lo explains what goes on behind the scenes during Oscar season, from the pre-parties to his personal grooming habits. Then, they’re getting into everything sexy including orgasms and sexual fluidity, and Kaitlyn opens up about some personal info that may just surprise you. And for those of you who watched The Last of Us finale, stay tuned for a lil ole recap at the end of the show from these fans. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: PELOTON - Explore Peloton Row and their financing options at onepeloton.com/row.  PROGRESSIVE - Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 29 million drivers who trust Progressive. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up. If you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

Get ready to laugh, connect, and feel empowered with Caitlin and her guests as they sip wine. Lots of wine. And get candid. They say vulnerability creates connection. So save the highlight reel for Instagram because, When we're among vinos, there's no filter. It's time to unwind. Here's your host, Caitlin Bristow.

This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Peloton. Peloton workouts are made to work for you. I know in the past I've definitely tried a few workouts that were not made to work for me, like going to the gym and not knowing what I'm doing, even though I enjoy working out. I just don't know where to start there. Or just taking a class that felt like, you know, it was a foreign language. but with Peloton, they really make everything so convenient and accessible no matter what level you're at. And did you know, Pelotan actually makes a rower not just bikes. You should know,

if you've been listening to Off the Vine, and you don't have to be an experienced rower to enjoy the Peloton row. There are intro to rowing classes and beginner boot camps so you can learn as you go at a pace that feels comfortable for you. I love the Peloton row. I feel like it's just like the perfect full body workout. The Peloton row also comes with this really cool feature called Form Assist. So it's your very own partner in progress kind of thing. It actually teaches you how to row by giving you real time correction on your stroke and helps you spot points of improvement, making it the ultimate rowing partner. And as always, with Peloton, no matter where you're starting from, Peloton's expert instructors are there to guide you with their incredible energy and supportive instruction for

every level to really take the guesswork out of working out. So you can try Peloton Row risk for free with a 30-day home trial, new members only. Not available in remote locations, see additional terms at onepellaton.com slash home-dash trial. And Progressive. Quote at progressive.com to join the over 29 million drivers who trust Progressive. Lo, it's been like six years. What the, what the fact?

And it hasn't dropped yet. No, because it's just so good. It's so good and it feels so right and I'm so comfortable and it's my safe place and I just love everything about our friendship and it's healthy and beautiful and yeah, we accept each other's weirdness. And I'm just like, is there going to be a point where she's like, oh, by the way, I don't agree with your lifestyle or who knows? By the way, I'm with Tennessee and I too want to damn drag shows. I'm not getting behind them drag shows. Scareing off those kids. I know.

I'm like, oh, my God, a dude in the dress, it's, come on now. That's what we're worried about. Let's talk about guns. I can't get over it. I can't get over it, Lo, because when I posted about it on social media, because I was like, you guys. What are we doing here? We're afraid of how a man might want to dress and we're not afraid of school, the mass shootings

that are happening. Like, what are our priorities? And I thought people were going to be like, yeah, Caitlin. And everyone was like, while they're whipping their dicks around at these shows for the children. And I'm like, hey, tell me you've never been to a drag show without telling me you've never been to a drag show. Stop fighting for something you don't even know anything about. Oh, God.

Oh, that drives me nuts. But anyway, no, I mean, I'm kidding. I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm just like, it's a euphoric feeling and we were on a good role. But you've been busy. I actually saw you were in Canada. Jason was like, oh, she's in Canada. And so I was like, okay, you know what?

she's having some quality time with the fam and I know how crucial and important that is. And as much as I want to send you 50 Marco Polos, I'm like, I'm going to wait for her UK trip. I know I miss your Marco Polos. They're so fun to watch while not while I'm driving. Stay safe. But I listen to them while I drive. It's like my own little podcast because you leave like these beautiful, funny, sentimental sweet, long Marco Polos and it feels like my own little low podcast. They're a little lengthy. I like that. You do? Okay, because I was like, maybe I should, you know, I'll throw some short ones in because I don't want you to always think, oh, this is, I better sit down for this. Got to buckle up for this one. Yeah. No, because that's when I like to listen is in the car because I just plug you into my car speakers and I hit play. And then I'd start driving. And it's like my own little low personal podcast. Oh, that's so sweet. Yeah. I really enjoy it. But yeah, I was getting my fix of ketchup chips in Canada and just like seeing some wildlife. Saw a moose in some ketchup chips. Did you eat any moose? No. Oh. Isn't that a thing, like a moose steak or something? Moose burger?

People in Alberta do eat like moose jerky. Yeah, sure. Elk jerky. I didn't know this. Okay, little Judy, a moose will... What? You up. It will...

Can I curse? Am I allowed to... Yeah. Okay. Well, they're very dangerous. And as beautiful and majestic as these beasts are, they are dangerous. And I didn't know, like, moose killings? It's a thing in Canada.

Like, you could be driving, and a moose will just charge through your windshield. Well, yeah, it's true. So moose are like, they're like 1,500 pounds. And if you, like, come around a corner, you hit one with your car. It's just standing in the middle of the road. It takes out their legs from underneath them. And that 1,500 pounds just lands on your car and crushes everything. Yeah.

Oh, my new Bronco. And I'd be like, like, no. Oh, God. Terrifying. But can I tell you some moose facts? Hit me with some moose news. Okay. Moose news. Moose news. Okay. So moose can run up to 35 kilometers per hour and swim up to 10 miles nonstop. All 1,500 pounds of them. That's impressive. Little Michael Phelps and her same bulk wrapped into an animal. That's pretty good.

That's really funny. Okay, wait. I don't want to accept your cookies. They're going to track you. How long do you think a moose lives? My guess, a moose lives 22 years. You're absolutely right. Between 20 and 25.

Oh, really? Oh, wow. Yeah. Loves up on his moose news. Yeah. This is boring. We don't need to do moose fast. I don't know where this was going.

I was just, oh, I was talking about Canada. It's so good to just spend time of family, recharge the old bats, do a little work event. It was so lovely. We stayed at the Fairmont. Were you there for work and then you stayed for fam and pleasure? So I was there. Yes, so I was there for work and I brought my family with me to Jasper. So into the mountains we went.

And I did a little speaking event at Jasper Park Lodge, which we stayed in a cabin. And it was just all of my dreams coming true. like being with family in the mountains in a cabin my dad was building a log fire and like making coffee and just those two things alone remind me of him so much because he always did that growing up and i'm just i was so happy oh that smell of a log fire oh it's amazing yeah does your dad smell like campfire yeah he just he just smells like i don't even know what he smells like just like campfire hope campfire and yeah

and like positivity and love yeah you're dad he's a little Canadian hippie how's your daddy still not know you're gay yeah how's your homophobic daddy he passed away actually so there's that yeah

I would know if that happened I would be the first person you called oh yeah you would absolutely I'm on your emergency dial. You are that hotline, suey hotline for me. Thank you for that. And always.

And no, my dad's kicking. He's good. Oh, I didn't even tell you. My mom had a big birthday. We celebrated her 59th birthday. Oh, queen. Yeah, queen. And so I flew family out to surprise her and put him in an Airbnb and did the whole

shebang had, you know, she had no idea, by the way. No clue. And this woman is impossible to surprise. And so to pull that off It was actually very difficult I had anxiety just trying to figure it out But you did it and was she so happy I thought it was I thought we might lose the queen

To a heart attack Oh she was so shocked Oh she had no idea it was going down And so it was very sweet Because I didn't know what to get her for a birthday At a certain age with our parents I mean you're in the same boat Like what the hell do they need?

Really my mom and my sub-dad are just fine Yeah Yeah You know, they're good. And my mom and dad, they're fine. Like, they don't really need anything, you know? And so the gift of family, that's the best gifts on the planet. And so, yeah, having her nieces and nephews who are like kids to her.

Yeah. And so it was really sweet. Yeah. So I was so bogged down and busy with that. And then was exhausted and then went right into award season, Oscar week. I was going to say, you were so busy too because I, happy birthday to the queen. And I love that. You surprised her.

And you're right. Family is like a busy. best gift. Oh, we love a Pisces. And then you went into award season in Pisces season. And that is just a really busy time for you. Um, heavy hit in time. And I heard from one of my producers, Lo, that you didn't shower for a few days because you were so busy. Huh? Little, little wipe in the car moment. Little wipe the nut sack. Wipe the

nut sack and then, well, uh, shameless plug. Good wipes. Sponsor of the of the low life pot. They're not, but they should be. Absolutely. Do you use dude wipes or good wipes? Oh, good wipes. They're called, there's dude wipes as a brand at Target that I've used before. But I prefer good wipes because they smell like rose water. They have another one that smells like your dad, which is a mixture of cedar and campfire. It smells really nice, a little masculine wipe for the nut sack. And so I'll use that to, you know, I wasn't showering. I wasn't really eating. Like I still, really, I'm just coming off of this. This is all wrapped up. And then I had a huge premiere today and had to get a bunch of calls. clients ready. So anyway, I was going on No Sleep. You know that meme of Lady Gaga. No sleep. Another one. Another one. Yeah. Bus. Playing. Wait, what is it? I have to play it.

Oh, I don't know. I just know it's DJ Khalid. Another one. No, this one. I actually have it saved. Oh, my God. Let's hear. No sleep. Bus. Club. Another club. Another club. Plain. Next place. No sleep. No fair. Nobody believed in me. Yeah.

And same. God, God. No one believed in me. It was a fucking mess. Oh, and then I, like, you know those weeks, I know you've had those really busy weeks where you're not really eating that great. And so I got like a Chipotle bowl and I ordered it. I had my assistant grab it at like 2 p.m. for me.

And I didn't get around to eating it until around 6. The Hershey squirts hit me around 7.30. As it does. Diarrhea in the back. Yeah, it was a lot. It was a lot. Fittings until 3 a.m. That just happened to me. I went to the airport and my order at the Hudson gift shop was Pepto-Bismol and anti-diarrhea.

Oh, shit. What you have? Oh, man, what didn't I have? I had moose jerky. No, I'm just kidding. And it's a moose steak. A little cariboo jerky. That word, caribou? Caribou. I don't think I've heard that outside of like the Oregon Trail, circa 95. I didn't know that was still a live word, little Judy. Well, you know, it's funny is Brie and myself and her two kids, we have a list that has gone on for years now of some of our favorite words. And caribou might be added to the list. I had caribou to the list. Yeah. And caribou, does that just mean like big mammals?

Yeah, I don't do. Okay. I'm going to look it up. I don't know what a character. I don't know. I've heard it, but I just assumed it was like just a big animal of some sort. You want caribou facts? Just kidding.

Yeah. Is caribou an actual? Oh, my gosh. Is that a specific animal that I didn't even know? It's like a reindeer. Okay. I'm pretty sure. Oh, I thought it was a general term.

Oops. No, yeah. It's like a reindeer. Oh, my gosh. I lost my train of thought as one does. Oh, Hershey squirts, Mexican food. Yes. Yeah.

Chipotle, diarrhea. Fitting still 3 a.m. Exhausted. And that's the thing. With Oscar season, because people are like, oh, you have a bunch of people going to the Oscars. No. No. And most stylists, I mean,

because you're going if you're nominated or you're in a film that's being nominated or whatever. But for the most part, Oscar week, that's what's hell week. The after parties, the certain... The pre-parties. There's the women in film brunch, the powerful Latina

Tapas hour, the black women history, women in film producer, gala, whatever. There's the governor's ball. There's a million parties, every studio, Lionsgate, Universal, Warner Brothers, Sony, they all have parties leading up. And so, And they all have big carpets and press.

And so, yeah, that's what I'm styling for. I mean, you nailed it. I obviously see on your Instagram all the time. Everything you do is so fucking perfect. Wow, that's very sweet of you to say. No, I mean, everything you do. Like, there has not been one time where I've been like, I don't know about that one. Like, but every single time I'm like, nailed it 10 out of 10.

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I already know. It was red on it. It had, oh, well, you've tried on several jumpsuits. You look great in the jumpsuit. I love a jumpsuit. I love them on you. It's like a powerful moment. It's cute.

But there was one and you're like, lo, this is so good. This is so comfortable. And I feel so sexy. And it was like almost like a silk handkerchief front. with a high-waisted black pant. Here, I'm going to show you a picture. Yeah, I want to see. Because I mean, you were also a little Judy cocktail.

Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do remember that. Yes. Gorgeous. Oh, and the gloves. I added some gloves to it. Yeah.

So that was today. And I was like, oh, I love that jumpsuit. And I remember it fit great on you. Yes. And so I requested it from the designer because I was like, you didn't end up wearing it, but I was like, that's a really good for Shazam premiere. That's what's happening tonight, Shazam premiere. Shazam premiere.

Oh. Sure. Yeah. Shazam 2 with, I don't know who's in it. I don't know. What is Shazam? Oh, is a superhero. Oh, oh, oh. I was thinking like Shazam, like the app where you listen for music. Oh, yeah. I was like, wow. Did I get the name wrong? I think it is Shazam. But that's also an app that I use on the regular for, yeah, finding out music. Oh, no, I'm definitely wrong on that. Do you feel like like the color right now that's in is white? Because I find that everybody is kind of wearing white. Like the Oscars, it was like a white out. And a white, well, white, a lot of white people, but also a white carpet. Yeah. They changed the color of the car. It wasn't a red carpet. It was like a beigey color.

What's going on with that? I hate it. Only because like, well, I just, I'm like the cleanliness, you know, the little Mexican side of me that's like, I want to vacuum that shit. You know, I'm like, hold on. That's going to get so dirty. I'm just thinking of all the products that I have to use to clean that. I wonder what they do with that massive carpet because it's like probably like, what, almost a mile long. They probably burn it.

They probably burn it in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard. Yeah. with all those. I mean, it's going to be filthy. And so, yeah, they changed the carpet color. And yeah, there was a lot of white, cream beige. Speaking of white cream vanilla, that's what I feel like the carpet was for the Oscars. Boring? A little snooze fest. Beautiful, but very boring. I think people came out of the pandemic for the Oscars, what was this last year. And it was people were wearing freaking peacocks on their head. It felt like kind of like the Met Gala. People were showing up because they're like, I've been secluded in a cave. But one of my favorite,

parts of that was Lady Gaga did the opposite, and she performed no makeup, converse, a t-shirt, and I was all the way turned on. I loved it. Although, okay, I agree. And Gaga, I mean, Mother Monster, come on now. She's great. LGBTQ, alphabet people ally. We love her. I put her right there. You're the Canadian little Lady Gaga over here. And so the only thing I noticed, though, which you wouldn't have done if you were performing, is Baby likes to put the chap beyond the lips. Yeah. And her lips were so chapped. Oh, were they?

They were super chapped. I was like, come on. Someone gave her some freaking tarmacs. The hell. She was like taking the rawness to a whole new level. She was like, no makeup and no chapstick. Yeah. Like the dry, brittle lips, I was like, oh, I couldn't stop looking at that.

But, hey, it was incredible. I'm into it. The performance was, yeah. I wanted to lick those chapped lips. Oh, that was kind of gross. Too far. Too far. Did you actually watch the Oscars?

Some of it, bits and pieces. Yeah, same. Because I was, where was I? Oh, I was at Breeze and we were playing crib. Priorities. Fair. Yeah. But I just love, like my whole style before, actually, and during while I was on The Bachelor, as you know, it was like, well, me now.

Johnny Cash. Hey, Caitlin, do you live in Nashville or something? Just wearing a Johnny Cash shirt. Like, God. I'm at the airport. it. I have cowboy boots on. But I just love t-shirt, jeans, converse, backwards hat on a woman, girl, whatever, on anyone truly. I love it. It's hot. I'm in the same boat. I love it. Especially in, on like, in a place where these expectations of you to just be glam, I'm like, yeah, you just, you, what that really showcased was just her vocals.

Yeah. No distractions. Except the chap lips. Except the chap lips. But she, um, she just took off all the layers and you just got fresh, Gaga. All the talent. Strip down. Thank you. Yeah. That's how I showed up to Hoffman every day. They said, just show up as you. And I did. That's how I do any, all the time anyways. But the beautiful brows, a nice fresh spray tan, top knot in a cute sweatsuit though. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. I did. Yeah. That'd be too raw. Which is how I've learned that that's a pattern. Can't just show up like always have to try to be cute in some way. Yeah, that comes a little past trauma. Yeah, little tea trauma in there, always having to be on.

Anyways, Austin Butler, good trends. transition, Caitlin. Do you have a little crush on him or does he do it for you? Do you get the appeal? I do love that he's from Anaheim, California. He's from, he's an Orange County boy like myself. Oh, he is? Yeah. He's from the OC. I didn't actually see the Elvis movie, but I think he's incredibly good looking. And I'm not even into blondes. I know you love a blondeie. You love a blondeie. You love a blonde. You always have. Yeah, you love the freaking little scruff and the blonde. You know, I'm not going to reference it, but you know, donkey nuts. Hey, oh. And so. And the one before that. Yeah. There's, yeah, I get it. But for me, it's not really my thing.

I love like a dark, dark features everywhere. Dark skin, dark features, dark everything. Same too, though. I dated one of those before the last two. And then before that was a redhead. So really, I like the color of the rainbow. Oh, I have a thing for gingers. Really?

Yes, I really do. Women, too. Like, if I find, I find ginger, Queen's just beautiful. Oh, well, we- Unicorns. I don't know if anyone knows this about me, but I went through a lesbian phase or maybe bisexual,

I guess. I hooked up with the redhead girl. Wait, what? You hooked up with the red head? Yeah. I didn't know this. What? Wow.

Yeah, I totally am attracted to women. I don't know if I ever have had to like say that or like I've, I don't know if I need to. Thank you for coming out. Thank you for your vulnerability. Coming out. You big lesbo. Lesbo, I'm over here, just shit.

Does your dad know? Yeah, is your dad no? Huh? You tell Jason yet? You're freaking, Lesb. Jason does know. Jason does know. But you know what?

By the way, if we're really looking at people, like, I think we're all a little bit curious at some point. And so, like, I don't think you're actually going to end up marrying a woman. But, like, why not test the waters or, you know, or just feel it out? Or it's okay. I think that's why people get so mad. about it because they're like they feel too seen they feel yeah what's that kensy skill skill skill of sexuality yeah yeah yeah like everybody's a little bit queer it's just a matter of are you like the point zero zero zero one percent or like fully queer yeah it is it's an actual scale i've looked

it up it sure is out of 10 people i'm sure a couple of them are going to be super gay and the rest are all thinking about it at some point in their lives and why not i'm here and i'm queer Gaila just takes it to another level. I'm trans. I'm like, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, whoa, little Judy. You're not dial it back, queen. But, oh, wait, you know what I just, wait, there's a really hot actor. And he talked about it.

Oh, I just read this. Like, wait, I can't, we need to not gloss over this. And then we'll get back to that. You didn't watch Elvis? No, I didn't. What the fuck? I know. Yeah, I missed opera because I'm a huge Elvis fan too.

and I love him. I love him so much. You need to watch. Austin Butler was phenomenal in that. Do you think that he should have won best actor because he didn't? Who did against him? Ki, Khoi Kwan. I said the name correctly. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love to. Are you familiar with his story? Yes, I researched all about him after he won because I was obsessed. Oh, he's a sweetheart. I just love that man. And just like, you know what? There's something to say, like, I think just as society, we love a good. like comeback story and that man because I watched his

did you ever see the Hollywood Reporter with Austin Butler he did it with him too a round table of actors for Hollywood Reporter and they ask them questions and they all get to talk

have you ever watched those? Oh they're really interesting because they'll talk about their careers and insecurities and guys are usually pretty vulnerable but he was talking about how he had been in Goonies and then Indiana Jones

and then didn't work for like 25 plus years just nothing and not because he didn't want to it's because he didn't want to It's because he was like there wasn't a place for me in the movie business. And then he saw, he's like crazy rich Asians. And I was like, oh, my God, there's Asians people mainstream. This is awesome.

And then he kind of thought, maybe I can do this again. And that script came for that movie, which I didn't even watch the movie, but I have to see it. I'm like a missed opportunity. Wait, the name of this movie. Yeah. Wait, what's it called? Everything Everywhere All at Once. That's the movie.

I actually downloaded it for a plane ride once, but I fell asleep. But now I'm like, well, I'm definitely going to watch it. Oh, yeah. Oh, maybe we can watch it together. Okay. Do you want to eat Nettie and eat that or watch that? Yeah. Oh, it would be perfect. Yeah. Okay, Peloton workouts are made to work for you. I know in the past I've definitely tried a few workouts that were not made to work for me, like going to the gym and not knowing what I'm doing,

even though I enjoy working out. I just don't know where to start there. Or just taking a class that felt like, you know, it was a foreign language. But with Peloton, they really make everything so convenient and accessible no matter what level you're at. And did you know, Peloton actually makes a rower not just bikes. You should know, if you've been listening to Off the Vine, and you don't have to be an experienced rower to enjoy the Peloton row. There are intro to rowing classes and beginner boot camps, so you can learn as you go at a pace that feels comfortable for you.

I love the Peloton row. I feel like it's just like the perfect full-body workout. The Peloton row also comes with this really cool feature called Form Assist. So it's your very own partner in progress kind of thing. it actually teaches you how to row by giving you real-time correction on your stroke and helps you spot points of improvement, making it the ultimate rowing partner. And as always, with Peloton, no matter where you're starting from, Peloton's expert instructors are there to guide you with their incredible energy and supportive instruction

for every level to really take the guesswork out of working out. So you can try Peloton Row risk-free with a 30-day home trial, new members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at OnePeloton.com. slash home dash trial and so anyway he booked that role audition for it and then got so it's cool it's like tina turner another inspirational queen didn't have her first number one hit until she was in her late 30s and everyone was like there's no chance a black washed up former singer from the 70s is going to make it like madonna's hot right now like sorry Tina go have a seat no one won't

And Tina was all like, hold my beer. Yeah. Hold my freaking beer. And let me just sell out stadium arenas and tour and go on stage with Bowie and the Rolling Stones. And she didn't hit her peak until really, though. She was in her mid to late 30s. I think she was 38. What an inspo.

Oh, sorry to go off on my TED Talk for inspirational. I actually, when I was a CFL cheerleader, I did a full-on dance to Tina Turner on the field. What song, private dancer? Simply the best. Oh, Proud Mary. And we roll in, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, yeah. Oh, by the way, in stilettos and a mini skirt, dancing with three backup dancers all in their 20s and holding her own. Well, you know, I always think of Tina, like, for you and I both, because you and I have a bit of issues with aging.

Yeah. It's a therapy for it. Yeah. And it's a fear because I know you and I have had deep talks about it, but like how it's like, oh, well, I should be at this point now or I need to make sure I get to this level or we're really hard on ourselves. And I'm, you know, your Vino's, they get it too. I'm sure they're going in the same boat sometimes, you know, rowing in the same direction of just being hard on yourself. But to know, like, your time will come. Just keep your eye on the prize. Look forward. It's going to be okay. You will get there. You are a Tina Turner. You are a, you're a Kiwi Kwan and you're a Tina Turner. It's so yeah. It just shows like he waited. 25 years. Tina was, you know, singing as a lounge singer. She's saying backup for Olivia Newton John. What? I mean, Olivia Newton is great, but I mean, yeah. Nobody's Tina. Well, or is Selena Tina Tina? Oh, well, that's okay. Well, you know where to hit me. You know too much. This is my number one. I love Selena. I know. Taking out at 23 though. So. God, what if that happens to me? I'm always scared someone's going to show up to like my Jasper

Fairmont Lodge event and just the queen of my fan club is going to just find me at a bottle signing in Target in Texas. Yolanda Saldivar your ass? I will say just from like a financial standpoint and also just branding wise, pretty strong but also tragic

and don't, I hate it. I know the final's not going to do that. I mean I'm yeah no, they would never. They would never. Okay, let's switch the subject. I hate it so much. I hate that. I hate it so much.

But I think about that all the time now with celebrities. Like, I don't know. People are always saying where they are, what they're doing. Like, people, they're so easily accessible that I'm like, I don't know. There was that one singer from, I think it was the voice or American Idol. Yes, the voice. The voice. Okay.

And it was a meet and greet. And someone shot her. And it was just a disgruntled, crazy, obsessed fan. Remember when I said we were moving on? Sorry, I had to dig that one up. It's a little too soon. But like, yeah, tragic, tragic. It's absolutely tragic and terrifying and just so unfair and it's scary and it's a scary world we live in.

So let's get rid of the drag queens because they're the problem. Because they're going to start. Okay. Sorry, I just get so mad about it. Do you ever watch Trixie and Katzia? No. Oh, they're so good. I'll send you videos.

They were my favorite drag queens. You would love them. They're us in drag queen form. I've gotten some of your vinos that have said you and Caitlin remind me so much of Trixie and Katia. Really? Yeah. Because they're best, they're best friends and they just shoot the shit and like, yeah, they're good. Please send them to me.

It's very entertaining. I fell in love with this girl today. Speaking of being a big lesbian. Yeah. Yeah. Who'd you fall in love with Lesbo? Her name. Oh, my.

God. May Whitman. Do you know who that is? No. Okay, I think you will if I show you her. She's in so many things that she, you would just know her because she's like, what is she not in? She's in everything. And then she was the voice on family guy when they made fun of the bachelorette. She was the bachelorette, which we only put together on this podcast. Do you recognize her? Oh, yes. Yes, I know exactly what that is. She's amazing. We became really good friends. just from podcasting. She was just a delight. You would absolutely love her.

But also, I was doing some research for our podcast just to see, like, what's in a hap, what's a happening? And I was like, oh, Diplo told Amrata on her podcast that he's not, not gay. And I was like, isn't Diplo a woman? And my producer was like, no, he's a DJ. This is a freaking DJ. Yeah, big DJ. Huge.

I thought Diplo was a woman. I mean, cute girl's name, but no, Diplo's a dude. blonde hair and um yeah he's and not only that but he um i believe he got he hooked up with the dude well yeah that's what he was saying he's not not gay and do you think this is more common in hollywood than we think yes absolutely without a doubt just from my firsthand experience yeah everyone is very fluid and it's just like there's not see here's a thing in the middle of america and just in society there's a lot of stigma and shame and you're not as masculine or You're less of a man.

Clearly. There's some stigmas. There's a lot of that. But two girls hooking up, it's like, oh, my lesbian phase. Or like, there's a little bit of more understanding because it's like, oh, two chicks. And that's accepted in society. But with guys experimenting, but a lot of guys actually think about it. And if you have a society around you or you're raised in a place where it's like, it's not

that big of a deal, you know, L.A., New York, then who cares? That's so true. Like, I feel no shame in, I don't know why I've not talked about it before, but I really feel no shame in it at all, where I think you're right. I never thought about it that way. People like, ah, two chicks, yeah, whatever. But there's so much more shame in two men. That's sad. It sucks. I know. I mean, I think the tide is slowly turning in certain areas. Oh, yeah, it'll still be like another 400 years before gays are accepted and women are paid the same as men and all those things. Yeah. But we're on our way. And we're doing the work. Yeah.

And the backlash now is if you do say like, oh, yeah, it's a guy who hooked up with the dude once or just tried it out in college or just was curious, just wanted to see what it was about. Then all of a sudden it's like woke culture and it's like, no, sometimes it's just the human experience and being open to trying things. Yeah, to me that makes so much sense. The backlash is like, oh, like this is woke negative connotation like woke culture. And I'm like, it's not woke. It's just people living their lives and try and shit out. Why not have your prostate stimulated by a girl or a guy? Who cares. And also why, what if that's what you like? Why is, I will never understand. Now, I don't get it either. Societal pressures, it's ridiculous and just, yeah, I feel like people,

it's easier to hate. It's easier to hate. And because it's like the unknown. And for a lot of, and there's a lot of religious, you know, it goes into the religious side of things, too. Yeah. And so we bring in the Bible and that becomes a whole different story. Okay. I do want to get into this though because I saw a headline that Rachel Billson and Whitney Cummins were talking about how they couldn't orgasm from sex until pretty recently. So Whitney said she wasn't able to orgasm from intercourse until she went off birth control and that she wasn't able to orgasm from sexual intercourse until 40, but she was able to by herself. Now Rachel said pretty much the same thing, wasn't able to orgasm from a dick. Why can't I just say that like a grown-up

penis specifically until 38 but those headlines are so misleading you but think about it all the headlines were like couldn't orgasm from sex and they're talking about P and V okay there's also oral there's fingies etc like everyone defines sex between a man and a woman and it's like oh she can't orgasm from a dick and it's like what is the lesbian I mean it's like overwhelmingly like I think it's like 70% of women don't actually orgasm through good old fashion penetration. It's really, it's actually a skill, I think, at this point. Like, it's not a common thing. Right.

So I don't know why, but this, why are we still just blasting headlight, like, the headlines of like, she couldn't orgasm. Then people are shading her exes being like, loser. And I'm like, oh my God, what world are we living in? What is wrong with people? I don't get it. Just worry about what's going on in your own fucking bedroom. You know what I mean? Yeah, probably nothing.

That's why you're so mad. A lot of suppression. Yeah, people are so suppressed. It's like, oh, I just, I can't with it anymore. I slept with a woman before. Several, actually. It's fine. Oh, you little slut.

Yeah. You should unspread your whore legs. I know. Harrison said that to me. Oh, that's right. No, you didn't say that to me. He didn't say that to me. He read it as a mean tweet.

Oh, that was a tweet that he read on national television while you sat across from him. Yeah, that was great. That was painful. You know what I want to do is a TikTok. You know when people slide the computer in front of them and they say word for word what the people on the screen are saying, I want to do that with Chris Harrison where I'm like, Caitlin needs to unspread her horle legs and shut her hoar mouth. You filthy, disgusting.

I think it would be so funny. I love that we can laugh about it, though, now, because I find it to be hilarious, but it's sad, but also freaking hilarious that that actually happened. Well, okay, so I was just speaking at this event in Jasper, and we were kind of- What was the event for? It was like your ultimate pajama party. All these women came together and, like, danced and took classes and learned cocktail recipes and did a, like, fancy gala dinner and got to listen to speakers. and all this stuff. And I was a speaker at it, and it was just so cute because, well, it was just cute

altogether because when you get in a room full of, like, really supportive women, it's awesome. Supportive, I shouldn't just say women, supportive anyone. And so I was up there talking, and the lady that was interviewing me was so wonderful. And she goes, let's talk about, you know, like sexism or the backlash you received or this or that. And I was telling the story about how, I was like, you know, and Chris, Harrison was reading mean tweets and it wasn't funny as Jimmy Kimmel, his, you know, guests read funny tweets.

I said one woman actually said, Caitlin needs to unspread her whore legs. My best friend Bree just burst out laughing in a corner. She was like, ha! Everyone else was like gasping. She just burst out laughing because she knows at this point that I can laugh about it and that I've heard it all. I almost blacked out watching that clip with you in bed because there was a few other ones.

It's like, Caitlin should be shot behind a garbage can or something like it was like, execute her. Yeah, she should die. Yeah, yeah, she should get the death penalty for having sex with the fantasy suite. And I was like, yeah, kill her. You know, whatever. Getting in on it just to see how far we could take it. It's all fun in games. it's all fun in games. I was just thinking of Bachelor people while we were saying Bachelor and just how, you know, like Tyler Cameron is so sexualized, I feel like. But he apparently, you know, when he was dating Gigi Hadid. Yeah. Were they dating or they went on like a couple dates? Who knows? No, they were dating. He went to her grandmother's funeral. Oh, wow. Yeah. But he had he had $200 in his bank account and had to call his dad for money while he was dating Gigi Hadid. So Jason was talking to

talking to him about it on his podcast. And I was like, if anyone, we should not laugh at Tyler Cameron. He gave up a career and his life to go on The Bachelor and make a name for himself. Of course, he has no money. You have to pay for everything to get on that show. You don't make any money. He was gone for months. And Gigi Hadid, I think that says a lot about her heart because she was like, this guy's hot. I don't give how much money is. I've got my own thing going on. I love that. By the way, Like the freedom that you have, it's like, she's good. So when it comes to finding a partner for her, she's like, I just want to find someone who I feel seen, heard, understood, loves me. Like the finances, although I think that has to be some sort of a factor, but really not for her, though.

Well, because he, no, because she's good. She's set. And if you really like somebody, they could, you know, I mean. It would be a deal breaker for me. It would. Yeah, absolutely. If they had $200 to their name, it would be a deal breaker. But what if they were put in a situation to not make money, to give up their job, to go make a name for themselves.

And the world kind of knew who they were and respected them. And they were on their way to, like, building something that they actually loved. Oh, my God. I would feel like that's so hard. Tyler Cameron. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

If I met a guy, hypothetically speaking, if I was single, met a guy who, had $200 in his bank account and was passionate about work he was doing and he was on his finger painting, finger paint my insides. What? Oh, my God, I got to go. The gin is getting to me. What? Wait a minute. There's no chance. Here's, okay, if someone is like, oh, like a Tyler Cameron situation is like, okay, I get he has $200 in his bank account. But that, like, that headline is like, yeah, But also, a lot of branders are coming in. He just came off of a show. Broke as a joke.

100%. But, like, Gigi knows, like, I mean, it's not that she's in it for the money, but, like, he's fine. He's going to be good. He's just fine. Yeah, yeah. He had signed a big contract, like, a modeling contract. He's going to be good.

Like, like, you could tell, like, the trajectory. But, like, if it was someone that wasn't like that, like, just a dude who was like, I got $200 in my bank account and, and I love finger paints. Okay, fine. No, chance and hell. Even if you had great potential, I don't need to help you realize that. What if he was the best human being you've ever met in your whole life? And like one day, in 10 years, he could be the Picasso of finger painting and be a millionaire.

Well, check please. Missed opportunity. I'll see you at your gallery opening. I'm just not into it. I know. And I know there will be people, there will be people who are like, low, you gold digging bitch. no it's not about i'm not digging for gold i have my own gold digging for gold you'd be with a billionaire right now because you could yeah sure no but for me i mean i'd be down i'd be down to

have an an Nicole smith moment sure i would absolutely 80 years old i'm gonna wipe him up give him a good time i'm sure we could find you someone um are you dating anyone right now casually having fun same guy that i know about yes same guy that you know about and it's just it's just it's casual. It's fun. Easy breezy. Nothing too serious. I have a lot going on. We're podcasting. We're styling. Any free time. I want to see little Judy. And, you know, and just live my life. We got to hang out. I have a question before we wrap things up on this podcast. Because sometimes, okay, here, we're not completely out of time, but I know if you have a good confession for me, that would take up the time. Now, you don't have to have one because I know I put a lot of pressure on you,

but since you are newly having fun with somebody, I thought maybe something's happened where you're like, motherfucker. I wish that didn't have it. I'm trying to think. Well, and my confessions here are just like, wow, I've really let it all hang out. You don't have to. You can just have like a quick and easy. I feel like I do at this point. Just give it to me. Yeah, but you know what? Here's the thing. When it came to confessing shit on your show, I didn't realize, and I probably, like, I'm glad that I didn't, but I thought that, I thought that your podcast, I was like, this is really cute. And I love your listeners in Ladoot.

Yeah, you thought there was like 10 listeners in Ladoop listening and that you, that no one was going to hear about you pooping in one guy's house and throwing it out the window. Yeah. You know, or I thought like the skydiving story. I thought, eh. Thank you for your confidence in me and my listeners. I just thought, you know, this is fun for you to do. But then I was like 180 million downloads later.

I'm like, oh, shit. She's an institution. I'm so glad I didn't know that going into it because I probably would have And like, oh, God, I don't know if I don't. But now that's why people love, people love your honesty. Yeah. But now you got me on the train of like, I might as well just, yeah, shoot the shit and be real with it all. Yeah.

And so. Well, you, now people know. I understand certain things so much better now from like, okay, spoiler alert for people who haven't watched the last of us. Um, fast forward. But. Oh, yeah. Oh, are you going to spoil. Okay.

Spoiler. Spoiler. Because the finale. You watch. watched it? Of course I did. Yes. Okay, same. I wanted to talk about it because I don't have a confession, but I, my confession is, sorry, I don't, but I will have one. Well, for anyone who, let's wrap this up, then we'll talk last of us for a quick minute because if, and if people have watched, they can stay tuned. Are you powdering your nose? What do you, Rihanna on halftime show? Just,

you got a makeup line coming out? What's going on? I'm so stupid. I'm sitting here with a fucking greasy ponytail with that hair treatment in. Look at balding spots. Just no makeup. And you're powdering your nose. What are you, Rihanna? Oh, I was looking super shiny. Okay, Riewee.

So we love everybody. Thanks for listening. And if you're a fan of last of us and you're caught up, stay tuned. Oh, and listen to the low life podcast. Oh, thank you for that. On Apple. What's the best? I will say actually low.

I should have. told you this, but I wanted to wait until we were like either FaceTiming or actually saying something. The amount of people that will come up to me at bottle signings for Spade and Sparrow and say, I'm also a low lifer or like that. It's really sweet. Oh my God. That's so sweet. My little icy heart just melts with that. That actually made my month, year, actually. That was very sweet. Wow. I didn't know that. Anyone said that? Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Oh, people love you. Oh, it's very sweet. I love it.

Well, your podcast is incredibly entertaining because you are. Well, you're one of the founding fathers. You're one of the founding lesbians. I should get 10%. You should. Yeah. I would never. Founding lesbians?

Big lesbian. I know. Last of us. Pedro Pascal. Zaddy. Episode three, when we found out those two men had a crush on each other. And the only thing I could think of is what you've told me. I'm like, these two are about to smash and they just ate the biggest steak dinner, all the red wine, mashed potatoes, all the fixings.

That is not what you do if you're going to, right? Because you're like, I'd eat, you'd eat air or a broth. Yeah. I mean, and for context, because people are like, what are they talking about? Because some people don't watch The Last of Us. I mean, it's a very specific show. Oh, right. But for those who are two dudes, they are at apocalypse, they find each other, don't realize one's gay until he does. And they're going to have sex and they have a beautiful dinner. It's actually a very sweet romantic episode. It's beautiful.

It's the most romantic. I cannot handle that episode. It broke me into pieces. I bawled my eyes out. I cried. I still think about it. And did you know that actor is the guy from the first season of White Lotus, who's the Australian that owns the hotel. Oh, that's right. I didn't know that until right now. but yeah yeah shit's in the suitcase that's him wow and then the other dude is parks and wreck yeah oh what what phenomenal actors and humans yeah anyways that episode broke me that episode oh it was so well that's the thing every episode is like just a beautiful little cinematography dream with the music and i mean the tragic story it's heavy but it's just so well done not as heavy as a handmade sale where i like need to get therapy oh no and and also the Walking Dead was like too gory and dark for me where this is like actually I did watch Walking Dead but this one is like beautiful storylines like incredible acting a little gore a little

zombie it's from a video game so you don't feel like it's really happening in life but I'm obsessed and Ellie is I want to get Ellie on my podcast she's my new dream guest I think Bella Ramsey is that her real name yes yes Bella Ramsey she's incredible she's like a kid she's all of like 12 or 13 years old or something with a British accent so she like she's pretty yeah yes but in the show she's an American girl and and she's yeah phenomenal acting Pedro Piscow filmed in my hometown what filmed in my hometown oh it's filmed in your hometown oh yeah that's right well I mean Edmonton and Calgary and outskirts but yeah the province if you will yeah but yeah you he's he's daddy I would let Pedro Pascal break my back like a glow stick

that man you'd let him ruin your life yeah I would let him get me the deadly virus knowing that I was going to die for like one night with Pedro would you allow those like those weird like things that come out of their mouth and goes would you allow him to do that absolutely I don't know why I just have something for him he's a beautiful man and he's funny everyone does and he's sweet and bi-curious hopefully and just a nice dude and I'd love him and he has cute style hopefully it's Hollywood baby Hollywood baby yeah So the finale, though, you watched it and, okay, I have an opinion, but I don't know if I can share it because it's a spoiler. Wait, wait.

What is that guy's name again? Was this full name? Pedro. P-E-D-R-O-P-A-S-C-A-L, Pascal. I think P-A-S and Pascal. Okay. So the finale, I actually was a bit disappointed. Oh, right.

I didn't think it was the finale after I watched. And then Jason was like, that was the finale. And I was like, pardon? Yeah, I was not happy about it. I want to ask you if you were in that situation, and so that little girl can save the world because she is not affected by this weird mushroom virus deadly disease that will destroy the earth. And it pretty much has at this point in the show.

And so there's something that's happening in her brain where she's able to just not be affected by the mushroom madness. She immune. She immune. Yeah. And so they want to go in and perform a surgery and extract whatever that is. Does that mean she dies, though? yes okay because that because they're gonna take out her brain yeah i thought that was really selfish of zaddy

same but dude there's gonna be a season two and it will somehow all end with her something there will be a reason but they wouldn't have ended season one like that if there wasn't going to be a season two they couldn't end season one and not have ellie of course well and just from what i know with the video game. So this video game is massive. It was like Walking Dead, Call of Duty vibes. Like people were very into it. But not only because the game was so good, but the story, that's what, that's why it

became this big HBO series is people were watching on Twitch, people playing the game, not because they gave a shit about the players, but because they wanted to just finish the story. So it has this crazy fan following. You know, I hate a spoiler. Don't tell me about the game. Oh, I'm not a gamer, gay, but not a gay gamer. So don't worry.

No spoilers. So we don't know how it would end. I can't with you and your spoilers. I know. I'm such a little bitch. What was that one? I was like, oh, little Judy, we should watch abducted in plain sight. You're like, spoiler.

You ruined it. So they get abducted. Of course she's abducted. You had to ruin it. I'm like, it's the title. Spoiler alert low. No, I know. I'm a psycho about it.

And I live for spoilers. I actually like it because I have anxiety. No, I hate it. Everything that's happening. I don't even know what's happening at the Bachelor finale. I don't know, don't want to know. Well, but I don't know the spoilers for this show or the game. But you would have, if you were him, you would have let her get her brain cut open to save the world.

If I'm not doing it myself. Because Ellie probably wanted to be a hero. That's what I'm saying. Let her sacrifice her for humanity. I just didn't like how they took her away without him, but they probably knew he would stop it. But man, he just ruined like 30 lives on his way to save her instead of saving the world. Like, I'm pretty sure you're hurting for surgeons and you shot like the one left in the world. I didn't like the ending.

Yeah, I didn't like that either. Yeah. I was like, you just shot up the whole hospital and everybody involved and then took off and then and then lied to her. And then lied to her. So she's going to turn on him, hopefully, and kill him. Season two, she's going to turn on him. She's also going to save the world at some point because she's Ellie and we love her. We love her.

Was episode three your favorite episode? Yeah, hands down. Me too. And but the runner up for me was the weird creepy pastor who cannibalized his own people. Second. Yep. And then third was when they all out of the ground and charged everybody. Oh, scary.

Yeah. Oh, scary. I know. Oh, my gosh. I love him. I love you. I love podcasting with you. Can we get back on our role of FaceTiming and loving on each other because I miss you.

I miss. I love you so much. We were in such a good place. We were in such a good FaceTiming place. I just, what? Are you debating? No. No.

I know. I was like, that's our, like, we were just jiving together. Yeah, yeah. We were driving. Let's get back on jive. I'm leaving for London tomorrow, but I'll be posting all about my trip. And speaking of posting, where can people find you and your podcast? Oh, wow. I don't think you've ever asked me. Wow. You're a little freaking hostess with the most as you could find me on Instagram at Style, L-V-R, S-T-Y-L-L-E-L-R, and the Low Life Podcasts, L-O-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-F podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you listen, it's there. I'm here, I'm queer, and I'm ready for you. Talk about everything.

Get your good wipes.com. Get your good wipes, yeah. Wipe your ass. Oh, God. I'm going to pee my pants right now. Okay. Perfect. That's the perfect ending.

I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for being. I just love podcasting with you every time. I'm like, no, move here. We'll do more on your next trip to L.A. or whatever. Anytime. I'm Caitlin Bresto, and I'll see you next Tuesday.

Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Off the Vine. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow on your favorite podcast platform. And we'll see you next Tuesday. This episode was brought to you by Peloton. Peloton workouts are made to work for you. And the Peloton Rower is made for you whether you're a pro already or you're just getting started. You can try Peloton Row risk-free with a 30-day home trial, new members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepellaton.com slash home-dash trial.

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