Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Charity Lawson & Dotun Olubeko | Post-Bachelorette Journey & Love Story Updates!

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

#748. Kaitlyn Bristowe welcomes season 20 Bachelorette star, Charity Lawson and her fiancé, Dotun Olubeko. Get ready for an inside look at their love story, filled with candid revelations on navigating their relationship post-show, sharing insights on staying grounded and maintaining a strong bond amid the pressures of fame. From hilarious Bachelor bio mix-ups to Kaitlyn’s own reality TV confessions, this episode is packed with unforgettable stories. Charity discusses the importance of trusting her intuition and finding her purpose after the cameras stop rolling, while Dotun opens up about the unexpected challenges of being in the spotlight. Don’t miss out on this exclusive peek into the lives of one of Bachelor Nation's favorite couples! If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (1:00) - Charity and Dotun react to the hilarious Bachelor bios. (7:27) - The couple discusses the reality of their relationship post-show. (17:02) - Charity opens up about the hardest part of being the Bachelorette. (22:41) - How they remain humble and patient under high-pressure situations. (44:10) - Charity and Dotun reveal their biggest pet peeves about each other! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! DIME BEAUTY: Love your skin again! Go to See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario today all right everybody welcome to off the vine i'm your host katelyn bristow and today we have a treat for you it was about a year ago that charity was the bachelorette and met dotten and i interviewed her and i tried to guess based on her facial expressions who she picked and i think i pronounce his name doten i'm very sorry i'm obsessed with them they're so cute just watching them interact is so adorable and we talk all about the highs and lows of their season what they're doing now what's next for them and uh play a fun little game of rapid fire so you guys were just sitting on the

couch over there and while we were getting the cameras ready i was reading some facts so fun facts uh that were apparently in your bio but charity they took yours out so oh did we talk about it on the podcast last time i believe so because i was like so angry I was really angry about them. So we're talking about your bios. So in your bios, was it for the show, like for people to get to know you? Yeah, like I didn't, I had no, like, I didn't write it. And yours said you wanted to live in Disney World and you have never said that out loud.

Never. I throw a mean axe. Literally have never touched an ad. You should kind of lean into that one. No, I know. I was like, be careful. That's kind of cool. And then, what was the other one?

Oh, my favorite movie is The Notebook, which I love rom-coms or like just like romantic. but I'm like, yeah, I don't know if it's the favorite. I just don't know about the, because I'm reading Dottons and I'm like, so you, okay, some of this I feel like is true. Correct. No, say, when I first saw his, I was like, oh, I like, I like, you're like, wait, I too love my air fryer. Yeah, exactly.

Did you say that you loved your air fryer? I mean, not explicitly. It's like, I think they obviously just pull a bunch of those things. Like, you'll say one word and then they'll expand it into something. Yeah. So, like, I vaguely remember I was talking about, like, health, nutrition cooking, and then maybe I said air friar. Oh, I have one.

And then they're like, it's his favorite thing in the entire world. That's going to be his thing. The air friar. You love your air friar. You would love to be the head of the CIA. CIA, yeah. Now, that's the only one where I actually did say that. You did?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's the one where I was like, I like, I like, see really like me too. Or I wouldn't work for them. I watch a lot of those, like, CIA shows. It's interesting. What a fascinating. You know everything? Like, everything.

think we don't know so much shit oh i know i don't want to know i love living blissfully ignorant sometimes i don't about CIA stuff i would i could handle it i could handle it so i would never have peace in life no i would never have peace no i wouldn't sleep i already don't because yeah like literally yeah literally so that's why i'm like i might as well just go full force and it's like 4 a.m on the dot every well morning night i wake up and have the most intrusive thoughts i'm like why oh that's been like happening like lately for me i don't know if is is it like an age thing it must be because the because the way i've never like yeah it's like i i mean the other day i like i think maybe just also the things i'm watching on tv but like i like had a dream that like someone came in the house

and like just like literally like barge the door down and i like i've never think about like stuff like that and it's like kind of scary you just have such a pleasant little mind you just want to live in disney world all right i was telling don't i was like we need to get like one of those little like the little things that slide in the door that add like an extra lock and he was like charity maybe you start what did you say like he's like start maybe taking the key out when we walk in because i leave the keys in the lot she's that she's that person who like leaves like it's terrified on being like oh let's help somebody safety and you go out to lock it and you see the doors like wide open yeah left the keys like there's a sign like come in it's like what it's like

it's like a candy why did you leave all this out like I'm so bad Oh my god. Wait, you guys just, did you just move into an apartment or did you just decorate your place? Finish like decorating. We moved in January. Yeah, beginning in January. It looks so like I could not have my dogs in there. No, I know. That's what everyone was saying. It's so like white. And I'm like, it's really not like, I mean, the walls is wide, but it's like a beige. I feel like everyone has like a beige couch. Also, you were, it was like an like professionally shot video. So everything seems like really like the light. Yeah. I was like it. Yeah. It was like it. It's really not that, like, stark. But it's beautiful. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Do you guys both just have good style with interior design? We got lucky first and foremost with the place that we got.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, because New York is so hard to find a place that looks like that. Yeah. Oh, I've never seen it. It is so rare. So for some reason, like the previous owners, they, you know, renovated it. And then they just went into interior design. So they had like nice back splatters, whatever the hell.

Yeah. That's what's called. And so they had a nice backclad. So we just got really lucky and the lighting is really cool, which you were very How did you find this place? Well, you don't have to go in too much detail. Yeah, no, we like have like a realtor, but I just honestly like she sent me a couple listings and I like went through them.

But then I was like, wait, this one's really good. Yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah, I was like I love this one. So I told him because obviously like at the time we were still in L.A., so we like didn't even get to like tour it in person, which was crazy. Which I was like, yeah, I was really scared about. Wait, that's so sketch. No.

So we were like, we were like, we would have had to fly from L.A. to New York just So I was like, it was like the time. And I was doing dance at the start. I had literally no time. And I was like, dot, and like, you're gonna have to use like,

you're in New York since and like, tell me if this is like good because like that's my fear. I'm like, I need to like walk foot in there and see everything. Yeah, I can't imagine.

Yeah. And I did not. So I was like, oh, thank God. Wow. So did you really like take you around like FaceTime? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I have a question for you. Did you like coming out of dancing with the stars? Did you miss it or were like, oh, okay. No, no, no, no, no. You're like, I'm good, I'm going to... No, me saying that so quickly, like, not miss it, but like, okay, let me carefully, like, say this. Like, the training, no, and you know, like, literally no.

Yeah, would never go back and do that again. But, like, I miss the people and I miss, like, show days. Like, show days was what made it worth it. But, no, I would literally never trade again if I didn't have to. I said that, too, and then, like, six months out, I was like, I hope they do an all-star season, and then I was invited back. Like, I will go back to do one dance. Like, obviously, like, when I was doing my leg of the tour,

I was like, this is great. Like, the tour was like, like, I mean, granted, the total time was like three weeks for me. I was like, this is perfect. Like, I can't imagine being on the road. Yeah. I don't know how you got, like, Harry did that.

So she did like a whole month. I was like, this is crazy. It's, yeah. But the training. This is more than enough. I think that's what it was. It was the, you compare it to all the training. You're like, yeah, this is enough.

Yeah, this is a breeze. Yeah, I get to just. sleep, eat and dance, and then no training. Yeah, it's lovely. And we were together earlier at CMA Fest. They have this little Bachelorette activation tent that it was so funny that I thought it was longer than a year ago that we were just there, that you were the Bachelorette. No, it's crazy. Because usually time flies like so fast, but for some reason I thought it was way like two years ago that I saw you and interviewed there. No, it's weird. So you two were engaged when you were at the tent last year at CMA Fest, but nobody knew yet. It was just about to

air okay so I asked you earlier on stage but run it back you get engaged you're now a year into a relationship some people say like the relationship starts after the show ends do you feel that's true yeah um for sure like being transparent and truthful absolutely I think even like when we were doing dancing with the stars like I was just like so busy still like it was hitting but it wasn't like hitting hitting like I feel like people say like the two biggest test of like a relationship is like traveling together and then like when you're like moving yeah like living in with someone yeah and I was like okay and it was like right when we moved we were like obviously like we had so much time now on our hands so it's like dealing with like too big like life task but also like we're

spinning and seeing so much of each other all the time it's like these things that I never noticed before I'm like I'm noticing he's starting to figure out like wait a minute yeah but like in a good way because it's like it's necessary to yeah it's necessary to see and like I think like the fun and like the beauty of it is that like we're learning how to like make that still work and like that's probably that's probably life yeah that's what I'm saying that is I'm like he always tells me and not in like a mean way but it's like life is not like a fairy tale like no you've been watching too many wrong comments that's I'm saying literally coming off the show it's like okay yeah like it's nice but I'm like that's not going to be like the reality for the

rest of our lives. Yeah. Yeah. The way we fell in love was like a fairy tale, right? That's like the theme of it. But yeah, of course, after that you'd be naive to think that like it's going to continue. It's just not. No. You got to be for real. And yeah, I remember like after our engagement, I mean, I've said this before, but like I was taking off my shoes, just taking it all in this amazing villa. And then Terry had her back turned, but I was just staring at her. And I was like just hoping that it was going to continue. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, because you got, it's a lot of luck is involved. People don't want. want to talk about that yeah like you can work hard but a lot of luck is also involved in like

compatibility and stuff like that and so i was so very lucky that it worked out you know in this way so yeah the compatibility factor is so interesting i wonder because casting is i mean they're brilliant and they know what they're doing i wonder if they really because the amount of paperwork and like psychology and everything that goes into it i wonder if they do really think like these two would be a good match and or do you think they really care or they're like i i was going to I don't think they, I don't think that's more on the lead. Yeah, which is crazy though, because like when I just think about like, obviously I had like such a great cast of guys, but yeah, I'm just kidding, love you boys.

But like when I think about like obviously me and Dotten, like we didn't talk at all night one and I always say that just because I'm like, oh, like the possibility of him, like me sending him home. But like I think like obviously my gut, my intuition, like just trusting that. But I think more, the more I realize I was like, wait a minute. And, like, him, seeing him at his core, like, throughout my season, I was like, he has so many, like, similarities of who I am, like, not just what I present myself to be, like, who I am, like, behind closed doors. And, like, I even got to see that a lot more, like, after we, like, got engaged and, like, having real life. Like, I'm like, you, you kind of are, like, the male version of me a little bit.

Really? Yeah. Funny. Yeah. It's good. Yeah, no, it's great. So I am, like, glad that we are, like, compatible on that sense. That's 47 years that your parents have been married?

Yeah, 48. Now, do they give you guys advice? Yeah, I mean, my dad's like so straightforward. Like, I mean, if you saw him on Meet the Parents, but I still have trauma from that episode anyway. Which is so interesting because I don't remember. No, thank God. I don't either.

So I choose not. You're like, not black about. I choose not to either. But, like, my dad was just asking the boys, like, do you watch sports? Like, he's so basic. Yeah. Do you like sports? And then, like, they're best friends.

But, no, my dad, I think his advice, like, or you tell me, like, what did he tell you? Yeah, yeah, I won't say all of it. But essentially it just boiled down to, like, his main thing is respect, right? Respect and, like, making sure that, you know, you just do well by them, which, again, it's just very fundamental. Yeah. For him, he probably doesn't need to have all this fancy extra stuff. Right. Right.

So simple. Yeah. Yeah. Basics. Yeah. The basics of a relationship. We all make it so complicated, but really it does come down to respect. It does.

And sometimes it has to be a choice. Every day is. Everything you do, every day is a choice. Like, you can't just be like la, la, la, la. I think I want to be, or not that I want to be la la la, la, la. But like, I think I expect that sometimes. And when stuff gets real, I go, oh, no. But that's fair.

And that's the fairy tale that we're talking about. That's the fairy tale. Yeah. And sometimes it does work out like that. And, you know, ideally you have a little bit of that magic throughout, but to expect it all to be like that. I think it's tough. Well, and I, like, I think a lot of people are during COVID and then people who don't have your typical nine to five where, you know, we all learned really quickly that two people are not meant to spend that amount of time together. Sorry, I can, I'm pointing at myself because obviously, like I said, now the time has slowed down, I'm like, I got like, I'm so eager to like, I'm like, I got to get back into something.

Yes. And not in a bad way. Like, Doughton has a flexibility of being able to work from home. And, like, he'll, like, pop out and work, you know, in coffee shops, vice versa. But I'm like, if I spend too much time at home, I'm like, I love you. But, like, I'm like, well, especially in New York and you don't have, like, space. I got to go. Yeah.

It's like, it's like, and I think we, like, didn't want to have the conversation because I think we were both, like, scared of, like, hurting each other's feelings. But then we were like, wait, we both want the same thing. Yeah. Like, it was good. That's, I mean, you really know, you really aren't supposed to spend that much time with somebody. No, anyone drives crazy. It's, yeah, it's, I mean, I'm on the other end where I'm like, twiddling my friends. I'm like, I'll go hang out in that room today because it's like, so, like, God, it's lonely, but I love it at the same time.

But that's, it's so hard to spend that much time with somebody and especially in a, like, New York apartment. Yeah. So are you still, what are you still doing for, are you still working? Yeah. I like, get so surprised when people, I'm like, you're not just a full-blown influence. you don't have one of these such a thing on the back of your phone that's the ultimate that really is

like the influence you're like hallfam okay yeah that's so funny and I could just had one recently because I didn't make some content but I took it off

took it off like two days later that's so fun but yeah I still working still working for time I only took a couple weeks off after filming to like decompress but honestly pretty since then

besides just occasional stuff we have to do where I need to get time off I'm working, yeah. And does that help feel like a little more normal in your guys' crazy life? Yeah, that's the whole reason why. Like, I completely understand why people quit their jobs. I mean, that's been so tempting for me in so many ways just because it is hard to, like,

have all these cool experiences. But yeah, the whole idea was like for me, because like the TV show wasn't really for me, you know? So, like, I had needed something to stay grounded because otherwise I feel like I might lose myself if not. And so, yeah, just stick on my, that was something I told myself I was going to do was like yeah and honestly they're awesome like it's a beautiful company and so I'm just grateful what is it it's called life force so it's a proactive health care period I'm gonna put them all

I'm gonna put them all right it's like proactive health care so it's like integrated functional medicine kind of stuff oh so cool do you miss working at all I do you do I do but it just that's what I was saying it literally just hit me because I think I'm like yeah I'm finding myself to be like a little restless like I'm like okay what's next for me Yeah. And then even like we talked about it like the other day, but it's like something that I've like talked to him about, been very open about it. And like even in therapy of like it's like coming from being a lead and like just going through like reality TV experiences. It's like, oh, you have all these opportunities. And they're like being tossed at you. But like the moment it starts to slow down. It's like you struggle with like kind of refining your purpose again or like what's like identity. And I'm like, okay. And I'm like, well, let's go back to what I was doing before all this because like that was like my life and that still is my life. And that still is my. life and you loved it yeah it's um in due time um just trying to figure out like what that's going look like but i absolutely want to wow that's great i yeah it's i feel like all of us can relate to well i'm sure everybody even listening can relate to if you are even in a job that you don't like

you find yourself to you lose yourself to it or if you are so used to like you get i always say chewed up and spat out on the show and then it's like you kind of get used to these opportunities and these experiences and it happens for quite a while and then you have this little fall from grace where you're like oh there's a new just like new face in town exactly and it's like it happens every season and you're kind of like okay yeah now what there I remember going through the worst times of my life after that show it's so much so much so much like I had so much anxiety yeah like I didn't even realize like it was anxiety it was like showing up in so many like different like formats and ways in my life yeah what's like what is wrong with me and then I'm like ah yeah this is what's going on yes got it it's You have to like almost re-learn like who you are and what you want because you're so used to things being handed to you for a hot minute. Or just like not having like full control of your life. Like answering to everyone else. Like that was the biggest thing for me.

It's like, oh, I can like make decisions for myself because you're always on someone else's time. Yeah. And I like down to the point where you don't have to choose what to wear. Literally. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, like, okay, this is we're back in reality. Yeah. Yeah.

It's what did you find the hardest thing to be about being the bachelor? I would have to say just like not having like any space like I felt like no matter like even I'm sorry like maybe TMI but like going to the bath and like someone waiting outside the door I'm like can I just like be alone for literally like can I be alone for two seconds without any eyes on me like it was like crazy I was like losing like my mind yeah I was I was 20 no I was 30 when I did The Bachelorette and I didn't realize how much I liked my own space until that no I was like oh I'm going to love being around people I was like I love people and then I was like wait a minute you're like back off it's like yeah week 12 you're like at i i literally kept threatening and i was like i'm not to have a jump the fence moment oh i oh i said that so many times i even told him i was like yeah i was like you just want to get the hell out of there and get away leave me alone i'm making tis so hot advice it really is though that's i'll never forget ben it was like you have to come in and do like a in the moment's yeah and i just started crying into my salad at the kitchen counter and I was like I can't do it anymore and he was like well all of the

camera crew is like here late just for you like they have families at home and they make you feel yeah they make you feel bad I'm like well shit I still can't do it yeah it's I had so many moments that now looking back I'm like damn I should like write each one of those camera guys a handwritten letter no literally I'm like I love them I do crew is great great people what did you find the hardest of because, and I said this earlier on stage, but you had never really watched, never watched the show, you didn't know what you were getting into. So I'm sure there's a lot of challenging parts for you, but what did you find the hardest? I mean, I think it's just like having so much downtime. There's different hard parts, I think, throughout the process. You know, in the

beginning, it's like just being comfortable with the cameras, right? But eventually that happens and then it's, you know, like finding what to do like on your own time when, because there's so much freaking downtime. Yeah, when you're a contestant, there's all the downtime in the world. All of it. There's no gym ever, which is so crazy. They don't like, what? Like, what? No, that would keep you mentally strong. They don't want that. Exactly. Exactly. Listen, we can talk about that. I won't get into conspiracy lines. Though all of your conspiracies are true. They're true. No, they're facts. They're facts. 100%. So, yeah, I think that would be it.

And then I think the hardest part is just the very end where you know there's a good chance that, you know, you're getting on an knee and you're like, is this really what I want? Has this been real? Yeah. checking in with yourself ruthlessly so that's like kind of yeah that's what i like i'm like crying in those last episodes because it's like i'm like just kind of going through like is this for real like i'm not bullshit myself right my parents say she was cool okay cool i'm i'm certain because you it's hard to give yourself reality checks in reality television because you're being produced the whole time yeah and so you're like what is real what isn't and for someone that had never

it's probably better that you didn't watch i always say that yeah like i always give him i'm like i'm actually so grateful like and I of course didn't find that out to like uh basically at one of our last days yeah yeah but like him not having any like exposure to like this world or watching the show not knowing like oh this is like how it plays out is what you probably need to do right I appreciated that so much more because I'm like you are already just such like probably the realest person I know but then like to know like that that was like actually true I was like I love you yeah Yeah, there's no agenda. Yeah, exactly.

Okay, whenever... How do you remain humble and calm and patient in, like, high pressure situations, like being on TV, coming out of TV, the pressure of overnight success? Yeah, I feel like that's the biggest indicator of, like, success on that show. And for me, it was, like, I think a couple things first is, like, I haven't, like, had the easiest life, you know, so, like, I think that trains you and, like, Like, you know, being an immigrant, all this stuff. That's why that means so much to me is, like, knowing what's on the other side.

So that's been huge. It's just, like, knowing I've done things harder. Yeah. But I also meditate a lot. I'm huge. I'm a big, like, Zochette meditator. So that kind of stuff is like, yeah. No, listen, my dad always told me he was like, you know, I was obsessed with sports.

And he's like, they can take away your bones and, you know, you can hurt yourself. But the brain is like what you're left with. So, yeah, it's just like in a hard time. That's what gets me through it. And that was probably at a young age you experienced hard times. So it's like, you know, some people don't go through hard things until later in life. And that's really what shaped. Even like for me, I didn't really go through anything hard until depression hit me at like 27.

And I went through certain things. And I was like, oh, I've never like had to cope with something serious. And I never really learned coping skills. And I just was like thrown. And I feel like that also that says a lot. I feel like that's what makes a person real, too, is they've been through some stuff. You know, you know what's important in life and you know how to, that's, I respect that. Yeah, yeah.

People who have, like, had it easy. Yeah. Yeah. There's not a lot of angles or dimensions. Yeah. Like, naturally. So, yeah, it's just, I got really lucky again. I felt like in a lot of ways I was prepared to be on that show.

Yeah. And I'm older, too. You know, like, I can sit here and be like, yeah, you know, I handle it okay. But a lot of times it's younger. If I did it five, 10 years ago, it might have been a whole different thing. I wasn't meditating like I was five, ten years ago. So I don't want to take too much credit.

I wish I could go back and do it now as my 38 years. I've been, you know, now, same thing. I meditate every day, every morning. I, like, am so spiritual in my life right now. And I have so many more tools, as they say. And I'm like, wow, I could have. But, I mean, timing is everything. And I did when I was supposed to do.

But I do agree that that. that really can help you stay strong after because who did I fall apart? Yeah. You see it. And there's a lead too. And that's as a contestant. The lead is a whole not a camera. Oh, yeah.

I mean, kudos to y'all. How do you handle the pressure as a couple? Do you feel pressure as a couple? Yes and no. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think like normal like or I don't know.

Is it normal? Do people put the pressure on you for a wedding? Because you're engaged from that. Yeah. I'm sorry. They're not annoying. Like it's, it's sweet. Like they want to know, but it's like, you're like, I, you're not going to get me true.

Yeah, that's, yeah. They think our lives is a video game. Like, you want a TV show next stage. Like, like, they're trying to get us to the altar. Like, they're trying to keep our Sims character to like, that's so good. And these people have like 10 year engagements in there telling us, what are you going to do? Yeah, it's like, you're waiting too long. I'm like, what do you mean?

Wait too long. Yeah, it took you 20 years before you got, it's the altar. You'll be here trying to impress us for three months. My favorite is asking back questions that they're asking. Yeah, I'm like, oh, well. What about you? Yeah. And then like, how are you in your?

Yeah, yeah. So you're just a real human. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the video game thing. That's really real. It's not real to them, which is crazy. Wait, I'm taking my time. That is so real.

The video, I've always tried to explain it in a way, like where people, the characters, sims. This is like, they think life is really sims. Right. They're like, do this. Do this. Like, what? That's, did they tell you to move to New York?

Is that why you did it? Probably. You had no idea. You're like, why are we moving to New York? Everyone's just like, the CIA's, put them in New York. What did make you guys want to move to New York? He was already there. Oh, I actually didn't know that.

Yeah. So then you, and were you excited to me? I was because obviously I've lived in the South like all my life. So I was like, and I said this before, I told him, I was like, when I was like 19, I was like, oh, I would love to live in New York. But like, I don't think I would have ever done it like by my life. myself because it's just like it's so intimidating unless I'm there for like school or like my job brought me there but I was like I dream of living in New York at least for like a few years of my life and so I apparently manifested that at 19 had no idea but when I was like okay like

Dotten like wanted to go back and I was like okay I'm eager to like you know do this with you and it just worked out to where we were able to do that so did you feel like when did you move out of the south was it oh my god literally not until yeah like actually never I was gonna say. I'm like, never, because I, like, Charlotte, North Carolina is still, like, considered the South. Yeah. Yeah, so never, like, not until I left for The Bachelor. Oh my gosh.

So how has that transition been? Yeah, it's been good. Yeah. It's hard a little bit because I'm like, oh, like the freedom of, like, not having a car. Obviously, I'm like, New York, there's, like, no grass outside besides the parks. And I'm like, okay, like, what am I doing? You know, it's, like, definitely different. Let's rule.

But I love it. Like, I think it's, like, it's fast-paced. and I think it's pushing me to, like, challenge myself to do more and do things I've never done before, which is, I think it's going to be a continuing growing experience for me, which is what I need, so, yeah. You are a little roughen you up. Yeah, like, the way I'm, like, the way I'm, like, I used to be like, hey, like, excuse me, and I'm like, move out of the way.

Oh, shit. Yeah, it's like, I go here now. I'm sorry, but, like, that's how they are in New York. I'm, like, trying to be sweet. And, like, excuse me, and they're like, move out the way, f*** off. I'm like, oh, my God, this is crazy. You're like, I'm really doing this living here. I'm like, okay, sorry.

That's like you're from the South. I'm from Canada. It's kind of the same thing. I go to New York all the time now and I had to live there, well, I got to live there for eight weeks. And I was like, damn. No, they're brutal out there. But I kind of, but now I feel like I'm like, you're like the same.

That's also age for me. Yeah, as you get old, you're such understanding. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, I have a purpose today. Either be with it or not. Yeah, get out of my way. That's so true.

I actually used to hate the hustle, bustle, like life of it. And now I'm like. I used to too. Really? For like most of my, yeah, it wasn't up until like five years ago that I was like checking myself. I was like, hold on. I probably would appreciate that now, you know?

It's more real because like I'm just so used to California. And so and I was like, oh, no, like that's all played out. Like people think they're better because they're hustling and bustling. But as you get older, I kind of understand it, you know, you get a little bit more balanced I feel like. So have you met Jen coming out to be the Bachelorette? I have met her. And is, are we excited?

I am. I'm really excited. I think it's like. I think it's going to be like a season we're like not expecting I feel like that's what happens I think every time yeah she was like not in the final like six yeah and people were like Hannah Brown why are we picking her to be the bachelor and then she was like one of the like crazy yeah I feel like it might be yeah like I mean who knows but like I'm excited for her like I know like she really wanted this and I don't think like I mean for a lot of us like I know I struggle with like imparsely syndrome

of just like oh it's not going to be me it's not going to be the one like I'm not the be the one that's picked or chosen but then like now like she has like the ability to like create her own story and and live that to her fullest so it's going to be good I think so is she only done yeah oh my gosh I'm gonna start reading her body language no that's what I said I was like I'm like I'm like yeah the happy yeah I'm happy and I'm like well you know happy can go either or yeah so what does that mean but they told me to say after my season because spoilers were wrong So they're like, don't say you're happy. Stop.

I hate it. And I was happy. And I was like, so I was like, wait, you're going to have to tune in to find out. Wait, no. I can't imagine having to do that. It was awful. I imagine me saying I'm not happy. It is.

I think it really like hurt his feelings. That's why I'm saying. I'm thinking about if I had to say it to like. He was like, I already had to be through. In your feelings. Aw. Yeah. That is sad.

It's nice to see the interviews and she's like, yeah, I'm happy. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, yeah, he's like, I can't wait. Oh, no, me, stop. The wink. I know. Enter the wink. Oh, my gosh.

That's so cute. Wow. Okay, I'm excited to watch. I was really excited to watch Joey's season, and then I totally fell off. You didn't watch? No. Please, this is crazy. Coming from Paylon Bristow, though, literally.

I can't believe it. I literally fell off. And, like, I always, what are you trying to say? Joey's boring. I just kidding. I just kidding. I just kidding. I just kidding.

kidding. She said it. Clip it. Clip it. Use that for the clickmate. Uh, no. No, I actually don't know why I fell off because I really enjoyed the first two episodes. And then I kept being like, oh, watch it tomorrow. I'll watch it tomorrow. And then all of a sudden, I didn't watch it tomorrow. And then he was engaged and I was like, oh, well, I'll figure it out. Yeah. And then I don't like spoiler. So I was like, well, I'm not going to watch because I know and somebody else spoiled the whole thing. And it was just a, yeah. When, but so before like, you said you watched the first two episodes. So Like where you try to figure out before, like, really his season started, like, who he was with? No.

Oh, you just. Oh, no, no. I was with him at the, well, you guys were there at the Golden Bachelor wedding. And I was like, don't tell me anything. I don't want to know. Yeah. You're like, I hate spoilers. I was like, don't tell me anything.

I just, I just, and then he, I overheard him say something about her being 26. And then I was like, great. Now I want to go look at all the time. As soon as you get that first minute. They're like, let me just see. Yeah. Did you guys have spoilers? Did people know?

Did we? I, as far as I understand, we had a pretty good in terms of there wasn't really. Yeah, it came out like while my season was airing. Or yeah, while I was airing. But like once I was done filming, like nobody knew. Yeah. I mean, we almost blew it ourselves. Yeah, exactly.

That's a whole other story. Well, I blew mine. That's right. I know. They kept, they always, they referenced back. At least it wasn't like Caitlin's, but still, it was close. I was like, I remember seeing the legends. reference all the time for what not to do like everyone tells me that and they're like oh yeah

I remember the producers told me and then I'll like say something else like they probably told you how I snuck out and like oh um on your season yeah four in the morning I snuck out of my hotel and knew the guys were in the same hotel so I went to all the floors to see where they were okay no I actually used that because I was like it was like towards like I don't even know where we were at but I was like so I think so I was like can I just like because I knew we were in the same hotel I was like can I like just go and say hi like really quick yeah no yeah no I was like, that's why I got to sneak out. Please.

I'll be quick. Don't ever say, Caitlin did it. They'll go, well, that's exactly why you're not doing it. I feel like I was, I was like the last season for a lot of things,

I feel like. You know what the crazy one is? I, again, heard about this when people were talking about this in referencing, but apparently there's leads that go out and sneak out and then they like hook up with content, which is. Yeah, I did you really?

Yeah. Wait, I swear to God, I did not know that it was you. I just wanted to have something funny to talk about. Wait, for real? You really did it all. Well, one, please, I'm in a stream. I love this for you.

I love, I love this. He's so innocent. It happened two times. Once, it was kind of like encouraged by producers and it like made. Interesting. No, it's like made me the slut of the franchise. Wait, wait, was this like after a one on one? Yeah, it was a one-on-one.

And they were like, do you want to like? What I would have done to have? Oh, seriously. I'm sorry it could know it could have been anyone at that point I was like I get to just hang out with one of the guys like no cameras yes yeah and so then that and then I snuck out and I didn't really hook up with Sean and I just made out while Bent Higgins was in the shower this is insanity it's so weird to hear that because it's like my experience on the show is the total opposite where it's so controlled it was literally almost no time so to hear it's how someone can sneak out yeah but I got so caught in so much trouble yeah like

Like, times are different. Oh, I got, first of all, when they came, the producers came into the room at, like, six in the morning to get the guys to start packing and going, I was under a blanket in the corner of the room. And I was just like, oh, my God, oh my God. And then Ben Higgins, Ben told on me. And then all the producers were like so mad at me. And then I was on, like, locked out. Yeah, I believe it. I couldn't even sleep in the room alone.

He said he lived like he was. I don't know why. It just looks like someone who would just tell you're right. Ben does look like the guy that tells me. Yeah, he wants to be like right in class. Like, homework to do. Yeah, yeah, homework's due. He was.

And then he got labeled as the perfect Ben on his season. And then that really f***ed with him because he was like, now I feel like I have to be perfect. And then I think I think that's when he really started to get like a little like not rough around the edges. It's definitely not Ben. But I feel like he started to like kind of let go a little bit and be like, he almost rebelled of being the perfect bed. Interesting. Which I love for him.

Because he's a little spicy. Oh. In real life. Oh, yeah, I don't really know that. He is. He's a nice guy. Yeah, he is really nice. Oh, he's too nice.

Okay, I have a little rapid fire around for the two of you. I want to know what your favorite date night activity is together. Hmm. Um, that's not very rapid. Day night, yeah, sorry. I'm like, rapid. Fire. Just kidding.

I literally said, like, why did I take? Like, you go first. Me? Yeah. Oh, okay. Now you're throwing. Now does both say.

Um, I mean, okay, off top of my head, it's got to be something like, adventurous. I can't think of anything specific, but like, you know, we did roller coasters, right? Like, that kind of stuff. You like, like a thrill. A thrill, yeah, yeah. I like doing, like, well, we like concerts, like music. Oh, yeah. Yes, sorry, that is a great one.

Yeah, that's more, like, realistic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish I was like that. I'm like, a puzzle. I was going to say puzzles. Like, if I were staying in, I was literally, it was like, I bulk order, like, a bunch of, like, from Amazon.

Like, I just want to, like, have things to do. I love a puzzle. I don't know. It's like, doing a puzzle to me is, like, I'm reading and it helps my anxiety and it feels like meditation to me. Yes, correct. Definitely helps anxiety.

We do crosswords. We do New York Times. All the time, me too. And I'm like, help. Always, always, always. Do you turn the auto check on? No, of course not. Are you crazy?

Yeah, just kidding me. Before the game even starts, here it got auto check on going through QW, ERTY. He was playing for a while before I got into it. But then I was like, turn it like, he was like, no, we don't, we don't turn the. You do the legit crossword. Oh, he does like the huge one. But I only do like Monday through Wednesday. Sunday is too much for me.

I'm working my way up to those. Yeah, because you know. It gets harder as the week goes on. I found that out. I'll do Monday through Wednesday. Yeah. And they've done the studies. It's actually does help with anxiety.

Yeah. When you're getting in action state, they say it's good to get on a puzzle like that. Yeah. I believe that. I hate that it's on my phone, but also I'm like, how did people back in the day?

No, I'm like the book. I saw somebody doing a crossword on the plane the other day with a pen in the newspaper. And I was like. The pen is psychotic. No, that's what I'm saying. But how do you have auto check? Like, what are we doing scratch?

Like, please, that would make me. That would build my anxiety. Exactly, like having to scribble it out. I turn that auto check on circuit as soon as I start because I'm like, okay, what it is. But nothing humbles me quicker than a crossword. Yeah. I'm like, I don't know shit. Yeah, no say.

Okay, who's the better cook between the two of you? Dotten, but I feel like my skills are definitely coming up. Yeah, they're coming up. They are. I have more time in the kitchen. Do you guys like cooking? Yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah.

What's your favorite thing to cook? Fried rice. That's my. Shrimp fried rice. Yeah. Yeah, I body it. I mean, no, all types are. Yeah, but the shrimp one, like, it's so different.

I don't know how you make them different, but the shrimp one's so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're like a special ingredient? You need to squeeze all the water out, the shrimp, that's important. Yeah, I didn't know. Pat dry it, right? So when it's cooked, it stays nice and fun. Don't worry about it.

Put them on shot. But the fried rice. Okay, what's one thing that people would be surprised to know about each one of you? Or of you as a couple. What would surprise people about you guys? I think people, well, this is just because, obviously, people know us from the show, but they don't know how. like funny dot news like seriously so so funny and i'm sorry like if i'm doing it if i'm being

too extra right now i'm so sorry i'm so i went on sorry we're getting off topic but i went on a deep dive like with like jojo siwa and like the challenge the dance challenge or whatever her dance is it's so funny um when she does yeah when she doesn't so i like was like on ticot and i was It was like my whole algorithm just became Georgia Siwa and like it kept replaying. And so I was showing him. He was like, what is it? Like he literally like was not understanding. I have like the flu too.

Literally. This is why we were angry. And she's like shoving Georgia Siwa and he doesn't remember. She's like, look, can you believe it? He comes back from coming from the pharmacy or something. And he like walks in and he just like does it. I'm like, what is this? And I literally captured it.

And I was like, no, this is never. Did you post it? I did. I put it on my TikTok. It's the best thing ever. I don't find that. So he's funny and a little dancer, so there's, there's not. I love that.

It's hard because casting, like, they have to have, like, a funny guy, a this guy, and you were, like, the sentimental, nice, like, patient, kind one. Correct. Which is great, but they don't, didn't show your funny side. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, no, I definitely have other side. So we're supposed to, you say what about me? Yeah.

Or, like, as a couple. Oh, okay, that's fair. People don't, like, are surprised. Okay. Her diet's not great. Oh, yeah, okay Because you might look at her You'd be like, wow, she probably

There's all these things She has exogenetics Yes, but I was open about that On like a post that I did But I, Don being in my life Has like actually really helped Because I'm like now more like conscious Just because he works in health

So he can be like yeah This is probably not the greatest thing But I don't think I've ever paid that much attention to my diet until like this past year And so I'm really trying It's so hard Especially when you get to I can. That's why I'm saying I'm like I literally like I can eat whatever and like it doesn't show. I mean she doesn't

because she has 12 tummy aches a day but well in terms of aesthetically it all looks like that's so I I honestly I've had like a weird relationship with food sometimes and now I'm like I'm in such a good place with eating but I like you understand like yeah yes but now I just eat whatever the hell I want and I don't pay attention to like the cues of like oh this makes my body feel good or bad yes no same. Yeah, that's like, that's where I'm like, I have to like, now, like, pay attention or program myself to his feeling my body or my, like, am I actually going to have an impulse? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and a lot of it's impulse for me. So, yeah, I do the same thing. It's a bad diet, sorry.

Hey, you know what? Oh no. Yeah. Okay, you guys travel a lot. What's your dream destination? Japan. Yeah, Tokyo. Oh, same.

That's on my bucket. I feel like that's literally, for whatever in the last year. Everyone's insane. It's true. I'm like, what's in the water? Yeah. Six years. Me too.

It's been a while. Oh, you haven't been yet? No, I haven't been. I had a choice with this company. I can't remember what they were called. They don't exist anymore. Okay. But they said you can either go to Iceland or Japan and I chose Iceland.

Yeah, I would never would say Iceland. Oh, it's so cool. I know. It's cool. It's cool. It is cool. But for me. Compared to Japan.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Now I'm like in comparison. Yeah. Okay, well, we'll start up with this and then we'll end it with a nice one. Well, biggest. pet peeves about each other um i mean there's gotta be okay oh okay please forgive me no listen let it rip

dot has this thing oh god okay so like paper towels in the house like he will use a paper towel and he will just leave it oh like and it's not like it's dirty or anything but it's like it's like it's yeah it's crumpled yeah it's like not a flat one or a fresh one i love that you grabbed his leg and said please forgive me that's like so not bad that's it oh no you guys so he'll just like and I'll like it's like almost like a little like a trail sometimes

and I'm like I'll find him in like the most random spots and I'm like dot in I'm like the paper towel yeah I'm like are you using it still but he says he's because they're clean it's because it's because it's just to like wipe down a counter so they're not dirty so it's like and we're constantly like

wiping stuff down So, like, and I grew, that's just how the house we grew up. And that's how I did it growing up was, like, my mom's, like, paper towels were, like, gold. So it's like, save it if you can. And so, yeah, I'll leave them around it because I'm going to pick it up and, like, wipe down the counter again. And, you know, so that's why. But, yeah, there is a better way to go about it. A little pet peeve.

A little bit. That's okay. Now it's your turn to just get her back. Yeah. I would say she gets really anxious, like, when they're, yeah, just in general, but especially. He didn't even finish me. Like, I do. I was like, same.

But when it comes to, like, there's a time, something we have to be there, a certain time, like, she'll be, even though, like, I know what time I need to start getting ready, like, she'll be like, hey, we need to get ready. You need to get ready. And then, meanwhile, I know that she still has, like, you know, five hours left. And so it's just like, I'm just sitting there like, yeah, I understand the time, but, like, she has to, like, oh, my God, oh, my God. And so, like, that's one of the things where I'm like, I'm going to be fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and, like, it will be okay. That is fair. That's fair. That's true. Okay. And then what about your favorite thing about each other? My favorite, Doughton's a really good cuddler. But also, I said it earlier today.

He's just really patient. And for me, it's, like, so necessary. Yeah, that's so nice. Yeah, coming from just, like, relationships, friendships, family. I'm, like, patience is, like, really important. And I don't think I've ever understood how important it is. So it's something that I definitely don't, or I try not to take for granted with him.

Yeah. Well, you've, you're really good at it. I feel like you do words of affirmation him about it a lot, which is nice. Yeah. You're like reminding yourself, but you're also reminding him. Correct.

Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I would say for charity, it's a couple of things. It's like her heart, first and foremost, is like, so big. I don't know, I've never met anyone who's like just pours out love like automatically.

That's her natural nature, right? If someone like me, I kind of had to work to do that, right? So now it's conscious. And I like to do it, but it's still like an active decision. But for someone like her, it's just her default. And it's like to the extent to where like, you know, it kind of scares me in a way because charity is so much that if charity's with the wrong person, she can get taken advantage of. It's like severely. So it like concerns me, you know?

And like I'm sure it shows up and like interactions outside. I'd maybe someone like she might not speak up for herself because she just has such a big heart but yeah to the extent where I'm like in relation I'm like someone could really you know there's those people where you know I know but that that I mean that has been my life like I have gone gaslight them and oh my gosh yeah and you had to be careful that with business no anything that's what I'm saying yeah I'm like learning to like start you know just no and like staying yeah I used to be like that now too much of like the opposite yeah oh my gosh I'm like, yeah, balance.

Yeah, I'm like, my heart is black and cold. It's not okay. I'm just like cracked wide open. I'm like, she's going to have to learn the hard way. No, but that's sweet. You do have a big heart. You can tell. Yeah, you can.

Thank you. You could tell that from the moment people saw you on TV like that and that it was genuine. Yeah. It's true. It's true. That's very nice. It's a good one, right?

Yeah, it's really good. And funny. truly that was really funny too you guys okay so you guys have something fun coming up in august it involves a trip yeah it's not solid yet but hopefully and people will find out soon what it is and could oh i don't know that'll find out soon not soon it would probably be after can people like at home possibly come on this trip or no um anyone can anyone can yeah but it's kind of expensive and it's really hard it's really hard to get it yeah yeah iron man I know.

Oh, is it? No. I would be like, don't do that. I don't know when this airs, but it won't be in August, so that's a good to you. And then tell everybody where they can find you. Oh. On Instagram? Yeah.

Or TikTok, whatever your favorite thing is. I literally never, I'm so bad at Facebook. I will get better. I'm really bad. I'm really bad. Instagram, Trudy Lawson. Yeah, Instagram. Dotting O'Bek. He hates doing that.

He's like, well. I kind of knew what I said, and I was like, I feel like this is... You saw him look at me the whole time. He was like, uh, Don. Oh, like, I'm like, that's your name. Don't know what I go. Oh, my God, you guys are so... I'm Caitlin Bristow.

I'll see you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. Thank you.