Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Claudia & Jackie from The Morning Toast

Episode Date: September 10, 2019

Millennials unite! Today, Kaitlyn is joined by Claudia and Jackie from the hit talk show 'The Morning Toast. They're got hot gossip from Britany Spears Insta-Issues & Meghan Markle at the US Open to Miley Cyrus and Kaitlynn Carter's hot new relationship. Plus the girls share their hilarious TMZ moments and dish on Bachelor favorites. Drum roll...And the winner is? Kaitlyn reveals her first Insta-Grammy winner. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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and get free shipping. That's thefarmer's dog.com slash vine for 50% off your trial with free shipping. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Good morning, vinos, or should I say, millennials? Yay. Today I'm here with the two sisters behind the millennial morning show, podcasts, and overall lifestyle that so many people are obsessed with.

Are you guys liking this? Yeah, this is a fancy little intro. You may know them by their Instagram handles alone At Girl With No Job and at Jackie O Problems Or you may know them by the name of their show The Morning Toast Regardless of how you know them You and your friends are likely huge fans Of at least one of their many popular endeavors

From current events to pop culture You can always count on these two To get you the news that you want and deserve Please welcome Claudia and Jackie I need that to play before every room I walk in too Yeah Everyone's always asking for like a bio Who are you?

You just take this and run with it. That's like my favorite thing in the world. This is so narcissistic. But my favorite thing in the world is when I go on like other shows and they do an intro on me and like just name off all the amazing things. I've done my accomplishments. Yes, that is me. Thank you for having me. Oh, my God.

That's a great call. Oh, I was telling Claudia, before you got here, I'm like, I am always just a hungover piece of shit in New York. Like I never actually just get stuff done or like, you know, go see the sites or do anything because I'm always just a hot mess the next. go out at, like, 9 p.m. till like 4. Yeah. And then I just sleep all day. Yep. Yeah.

That's what we do when we live here. Yeah. And also, we live and are born here, and I've never been to the Statue of Liberty. I've never been to the Empire State Building. I've never been to Ellis Island. I've never been to any of the spots. Actually, I think I might have been to Ellis Island. I got an offer to go to, like, the top of the rock at the Empire State Building, but I was like, I have vertigo.

I'm sorry. And the traffic alone to get there is just not worth the free experience. No. And then, like, all you get to do is cut the line, which is pretty cool. It is. But, like, I would shit my pants up there. Yeah. I'm all set.

I, too, would shit my pants up there. But I, like, my dad and my stepmom came and when I was living here last year. And so we always, everyone wanted to do the touristy things. So I was forced to do them. It's really not, like, I love seeing Statue of Liberty, obviously. But I'm like, the hell it is to get there. Oh, not worth it. And, like, the boat with all these tourist people.

And, like, it was just like a nightmare. That's a quality you get while living in New York because it's so hard to get to most places. Yeah. You really evaluate. like what's worth getting out of bed for. And it really helps in like saving you time, sitting in traffic and waiting for the subway. Yeah. And I feel like I've done the touristy things.

So when I'm here now, I'm like, well, I'm just going to party. I find it interesting that the only people who have done the touristy things in New York are people who are not from New York. Like, nobody I know has ever been to the Statue of Loverday. Really? Mm-hmm. That was one of my dates on the show was we got to like helicopter around and see. I was like I could have high-fived the statue.

Okay, well, that's a cool way to see it. That was a cool way to see it. If someone's taking me on like a private helicopter, like I guess I could go. Yeah. I'll put on makeup. That's the way to do it. Zach once got us like a helicopter ride for Valentine's Day or something, and I refused. Of course.

I will not go on a helicopter. So if anyone wants the gift certificate. Every day there's a story in New York about a chopper going down. Uh-huh. Oh, good thing. I didn't know that at the time. Totally. That would have been like a huge fear of mine.

Okay, we were just looking on Instagram, obviously, and the skinny confidential is pregnant. Did you guys talk about the Sunday show this morning? No, because it happened afterwards. On our way here. Oh. And like, we're just so happy. for a bunch of reasons. One, we love her and Michael, and, like, we're just so pleased for their ever-growing family. Yeah. But the announcement was just everything. I would expect nothing less from the queen of Instagram.

Absolutely not. I didn't even know they, like, were planning on having kids. Me neither. Is that, that's not something they, like, talk about, is it? No, but I guess, like, they're married, so... I was actually, like, just thinking to myself recently, like, about her, and I was like, I wonder when she's going to have a kid soon, and then here you go. Yeah. It's so crazy. She's the nicest girl. so nice and she's like a mentor to like some girls and her and like their relationship is just the cutest fucking thing in the whole world they build each other up they really do and they've been together since like for like 20 years they've known each other yeah that's what he said he wrote the nicest instagram caption oh i gotta look at my girls about the announcement and it's really sweet and also she's like so on top of her shit like as a business woman and as a wife she's gonna be such a wonderful mom and now i feel like it's the perfect time for her to be a mom you know like shit is stable for her yeah her business is there in such a good place In life. Yeah. I'm so excited for them.

I cannot wait to see that baby. I know. She's going to be so extra, like with a stroller. She's going to be so extra and I'm going to be here for it. We do. Oh, I can't wait. What else is hot and hot in the news right? Yeah, with the hot goss.

It's actually a slow news day. You know, we do the show every day. So some days it's on fire, you know? Today was a lot of actually like sad news. Oh. You know, the young country star who was in a car accident. It's so terrible. That like broke me.

Yeah. So just talking about sad stuff on the show is like the worst because we just try to be like positive and fun. But you got a report on what's going on And sometimes it's not so good Yeah, that's true Yeah, really sad Oh, I don't like that

I know It like just throws off your whole week I know That's what I mean We always try and like pivot out of it Because we're just like funny Like happy bouncy sisters So we like pivot out of it

And we had like three stories in a row That were just all Really? Yeah Oh, what other sad? What else was it? Little Mix one of the members Was talking about being cyber bullied

And how she tried to commit suicide Because of all the terrible things People were saying about her And then we just started talking about the terrible things People say about us Right Yeah And we were just in it

Right. And then like we try and pivot out of like sad or negative stories. And it's really hard to do. Yeah. So we end up just being like wildly inappropriate. Like I was talking about Michael Jackson. Like I was just talking with the last podcast about Britney Spears and how sad that is too. Like just everything. I just watch her Instagram and I think she's like like a 10 year old maybe in her body. Did you see her most recent compilation of the black and yellow dresses? Yes, I did. I'm a bumblebee. Yeah, I'm a bumblebee. And the song choice, dun da-da-da-dun-dun-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-a-oh. That's the, like, the Italian song. Oh, my God, it was so weird.

And she was like, do, do, do, do, to do. It's like, she knows everyone's worried about her. And she's, like, trying to make us more worried. Well, I'm like, I don't even know if she knows something's wrong. I think that she's a little bit more aware and, like, privy to what's going on than people think. Yeah. And I just think she thinks she's, you know, distracting us with her Instagram, you know?

Like, we're not going to talk about all the drama that's going on with her dad and the conservatorship. But, like, now we're talking about her Instagram. Is the drama. Right. It really is. Like, I just, I said this on the last podcast. I'm worried about her. Yeah.

I'm just always. I think collectively. And we also get no answers from her camp ever. So it's like, we have all this worrying concern and then, like, never find out what happened. Yeah. How are we supposed to find out of? Yeah. The circle has never closed on what's going on.

Like, we never had a documentary. Yeah. Nothing. I would live for a Britney documentary. Right. That's what we need. We need so many answers. It's been years of like questions. Did you ever see that thing that they did?

It wasn't Brittany, but it was like her story and it was like a movie about her. Oh, Lifetime. Yeah. It was the worst. Lifetime is always taking people's like lives and making horrible baseless movies about them. And it's like always pretending like Britney Spears approved of like whoever was the sister when you know they have actual no involvement in the production. No. I wonder if she watches that.

Right. Also like the Harry and Megan one. Yeah. They were acting like Harry and Megan were like producers, you know? Or the and Nicole Smith one. I remember watching that. I was like, what? This is trash.

No. Megan Markle was like in the same building as me the other day. Oh, at the U.S. Open. Yeah. Did you see her from across the stadium? Yes. You did. Oh, yeah.

Did you have binoculars? No, but I did Zoom on my Instagram. Yeah, that counts. That counts. Yeah, that's actually the modern day. Yeah. Who the fuck has binoculars? And then I was like, could she, like, can she drink?

Like, can they drink in the royal family? because I was like, I feel like she would like a glass of wine. I think they can, but probably not in public. I'm sure she had like a thermos under her seat that she was pretending was coffee. Yeah. I would love if that, if she did that. A drunk Megan Markle? Because I feel like, oh,

I would love to see a drunk Megan Markle. I know, maybe have her on the podcast. I'll call her. Feed her some spade and sparrow. Yeah, I totally do that. And then like, give her a scrunchy. Yeah. I mean, I've been loving your scrunchy. So cute. Did Jason brought you some right? Yes. And he brought us these neon ones

that like match my bathing suits and like I always try and like I love it I really do I have a lime green one that's you've really cornered the scrunchy market I know thank you that's it was a brilliant business move I didn't even realize at the time it was a brilliant business move I gen I genuinely love scrunchies and I was like I mean I saw haley baldwin wearing one and I was like maybe this is a thing yeah and then they just blew the fuck up did you ever see that episode of sex in the city where she's dating burger I've never watched the scrunchy episode no okay so she's dating this writer who's like a little less successful than her. He's like kind of bitter and, like, jealous of her success. But he's successful in his own right. What's that like? And he writes this book about this gal living

in New York. And she reads it front of back and she loves it so much. But she, before it goes to print, she's like, but you made one huge mistake. Like, you have this socialite running around New York in a scrunchy. That's how she says it. Yeah. And he gets like so defensive and bitter that like she's pointing out flaws in his book. And he says, and you know, tons of socialites wear scrunchies. and they go to this New York restaurant and there's a girl wearing a scrunchy and he goes, see, I told you. And she says, she's not from New York. So they ask the girl, you thought I was from New York? This girl from like Alabama. And I feel like you should watch that episode just for research. Oh, I'm going to. Yeah. I'm like kind of embarrassed that I haven't. I know. Or that no one's brought it up to you. I don't think so. But we are women in and of New York. And so Carrie Bradshaw was wrong about the scrunchie because I fucking love a scrunchy. I have a scrunchy here. There's one. I think I have a whole pouch of scrunchies. I have a whole drawer, like a big, big drawer of scrunchies. You need, like, a display case in your house. I want to do a scrunchy wall.

That's so cute. Yeah, and do, like, what, like, you know those backdrops of, like, donuts where they're, like, all on pegs? Yeah, that's what I want to do. I want to do a scrunchy wall of all my different scrunchies. Oh, my God, 100%. And, but I don't know where to do. I should just make a scrunchy room. Your house is everything.

I remember, I literally know exactly what it looks like. You did a People magazine. Yes. Oh, my God. your office is like every person's dream and you record all your podcasts in there most of them yeah oh my god it's everything it is my ladies lounge and it is just a dream yeah an absolute dream i'm obsessed with it i never want to move just because of that room and jason's like you can recreate that room somewhere else i'm like no i can't no you definitely cannot no and it took me i've lived in

that house for i mean almost three years wow um like two and i just like decorated it like i lived there for a year with nothing in that house yeah because i'm cheap and i want to I wanted everything for free. I understand. Yeah. So I did like audience is virtue. Yes, I had to have so much patience because I did all these like deals with like Wayfair and everything.

And world market. And it just was so. That's a good one. It was, I'm obsessed with my house now. And now we're renovating in the kitchen. By the way, that doesn't make you cheap furniture is fucking pricey. It makes me smart. Even cheap furniture websites.

It's like you can't get out for less than $500. No, I don't know how people do it. It's torture. Like decorating a home is so. Yeah. shipping and it's just a pain in the ass. But then it's the backbreaking work of assembling and putting it together and figuring out where to put it. That's almost worse. You know what? I find it empowering. Oh, I totally disagree. I like built the bed and I was like, I am a woman and I

can do anything. Oh my God. Me and Ben built nightstands and we literated and talk for a week and then we had someone come to do it. Like it was so bad for our marriage. Yeah, I get that though. Never again. Yeah, I get that. That's when you can get people to come do it for you, why wouldn't you? Yeah. Well, now they have all those apps like task grab it handy of people. It's like people. It's like There are people who are full-time furniture assemblers because they do it super fast and they like know exactly the chips and tricks of IKEA and they you can pay them to do it for you. What?

What is that called? It's called task rabbit and like they have all these different tasks like you can do like personal shopping like assistance. It's the best. Yeah, but it's best with like movers and like people and we trust these people. Yeah. The background checks and they have their own companies. They're just like they're not like Home Depot. They're not big enough where like if you Google searched they would come up so it's like small you're giving you know small businesses your money which feels good. Yeah. And they're really good at their job and they don't charge you a crazy price.

Okay, I'm so into that idea It's really good I know I said I felt empowered But I also hated it I just like I liked to know that I could do it But now that I know I can I want somebody else to do it for me It's awful like the sweat dripping down your back

Like I do not envy those days No But again I can do anything All right I love wearing jewelry on just about any occasion I've even been known to rock a couple of rings at the gym But from running errands to going out to dinner to attending events. I just feel much more comfortable with myself than when I'm wearing it.

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to statement earrings. Check out Local Eclectic today. That's Local E-C-L-E-C-T-I-C-C-I-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-C-E-C-E-C-C-E-C-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E-C-E. The promo-C-E-E-C-E-E-C-E-E-C-E-E-C-E. Okay, so tell everybody, I know you have the show every day, but just for anybody who's listening who doesn't, know tell them all about it because first of all you guys are just little entrepreneurs and like little boss ass bitches so just tell everybody what you're yeah we're so short but so am I yeah we're like short business women yeah so I think and it's hard to get respect it's like I was just going to say like not only a woman like a short business woman people don't take you seriously especially short business women who say like all the time right everyone thinks you're somebody's kids or like you know you had a foot in the

door yeah and like we don't wear heels on and we're we're unbelievably we have like a really short presence about us. And I think it definitely makes it hard to get taken seriously. I could not agree more. I don't like that. I know. Like we'll go to events and like we just, they'll think we're like literally like staff. Yeah, like we're irrelevant. They like ask you for a drink. We're irrelevant, literally. Yeah. But, but you're not. But there's something so small about the way we come off. I can't explain it in any other way. It's true. It's not just a height thing. It's almost like an immaturity thing. I don't know. Like people like just literally you could walk into a room and we're invisible. It's really, really true. But we don't.

But you don't have a present. Yes, you do. I was just going to say, but I feel like you guys have, like, a powerful presence. It depends. Maybe it depends what room we're in. Yeah. Like, this is a small room. Right.

Therefore. Taking out more space. Big presents. Yeah. Okay. So we are hosts. If you don't listen to the morning toes, it's a millennial morning show. We live stream on YouTube Monday through Friday.

And we're also available as a podcast. And we kind of started three-ish years ago just because we were talking about the landscape of daytime television and how everyone's always talking about and around millennials and people are age. but there's not an actual show with, A, a millennial host. People refer to Megan McCain as like the only millennial in daytime television. And also, there's not really a millennial, you know, safe space on daytime television that talks about the stuff we really want to talk about. Like, The Bachelor, Housewives, the Kardashians.

Like, there's a heavy emphasis on topics that we actually care about. Yeah. So one day we just, like, got a microphone and started. We gave ourselves our own morning show. And even if there was that millennial show, there's no way for millennials to watch it because they're working. Right. Like, you can't just, like, turn on the TV. Right.

So we started live streaming on the end. internet and then we became a podcast as well and so we're anywhere you prefer to listen we can even watch it on your tv like through a youtube tv or through airplay oh my gosh that's so smart wait it's a live youtube stream but people can still watch it after yeah so it's like the accessibility i didn't even realize you could do live streaming on youtube is that it's it's a relatively new um like features and not that many people do it because like why would you if you could edit and make a fancy one later we can't edit our show we everything is that terrifying sometimes Actually, I think we prefer it.

We're like better off the cuff when we have to, when we have the opportunity to edit stuff, then we start to get nervous. And then we're like saying things that we know we could edit out. Yeah. That's so true. Like having that cushion, I feel like would make me less funny. Yeah. And like being live like, you know, I get it. Yeah.

Because we know we don't have to be. Right. But then we also are bad editors. So then we just leave it in. I'm always my best self when I'm live, like, on something. Because I'm like, I know I'm not going to say anything too stupid. Well. Well.

That kombucha. kombucha drinking girl oh yeah yeah that video is hysterical I can't stop watching her name is Brittany and she's like getting super famous yeah well she should be yeah yeah but what was she doing like she was just she was truly trying kombucha I think but like for who just herself for herself and then she was like filming a reaction video and that's like I mean I've smelled kombucha I've literally

never tasted it I would rather die yeah but I imagine it's exactly like yeah it really does hate you in like three parts oh no no no it's funny because it just tastes like it's like something's gone bad in it yeah it tastes rotten like it tastes like you shouldn't be drinking yes and i don't understand the benefits me neither i'm sure i'll have the kombucha community community coming at me with all the facts well it's also like alcohol right no well so okay you know dug the pug yeah do you know his owner leslie no okay she gets high off how do you say kombucha kombucha oh wait so it is alcohol there's like there's like a it's like it's like fermented something yeah people drink it remember in

to all the boys I've loved before on Netflix when she has, she has a beer and he's drinking, so he's like, no, I'll just have kombucha. Yeah. No, people get, like, it's a very low alcohol drink. They have it in, like, offices, though. Yeah. They have it in offices? Yeah, they have it in our office. They have it on tap.

That's the first time we tried it. They have it on tap. Yeah. Right next to the cold room. Not a fancy office. I know. That's how you know you've made it when they've got kombucha on tap. Or, like, very hipster Brooklyn vibe.

Yeah. That's what it is. That's so funny. Mm-hmm. I feel like Nashville's so behind on, like, like the health train. That's why it's the place to be. Yeah, it's like all just like fried chicken.

Yeah, that's why I love it. Hot chicken. Hot chicken, which is not good because I don't eat meat, but. Oh, you don't? No. Interesting. Is that like a vegetarian? You know what?

It just started like two years ago. I was like, I'm going to try it because somebody was telling me that it made them feel so good. And I was like, yeah, right. And they're like, no, I sleep better. I feel better. And I was like, I don't believe that. And so I did it for three weeks. And I was like, damn it, I feel so much better.

And you've been doing it for two years. And then I, well, so then I was like, I don't know how long that'll last, but I then ate chicken, a chicken wing. Was it good? It was fucking delicious. It was so good. And I got so sick. No. Yeah.

So then I was like, oh, I guess I'm not eating meat anymore. Wow. Then I watched documentaries. Oh, yeah. What the hell? And those will get you. Yeah, they will. Like, they are so foul.

I don't know. I don't know if you've seen dairy is scary. No, I haven't. It is the grossest thing I've ever seen. But then you, then I'm like, oh, I feel bad for like. local farmers and like people that, you know, and then you can see all these different sides of it. But if you watch dairy is scary, you will never touch cheese in your life again, which is so unfortunate

because I love cheese. I hate cheese. What? I know. People think it's so crazy because, like, I love pizza and I love a good grilled cheese. Oh. But there's something about, like, a cheese plate, a charcutory, like a hard, a cheese sandwich is not the same as a grilled cheese.

Like, hard cheese, like, freaks me out. Melted cheese is everything, but hard cheese freaks you out. Yeah, I love a matzo. Not too much cheese, though, but like, you know, a good mozzarella stick, like a good bread to cheese ratio. You just need it to be mixed with something. Yeah, exactly. I need a carb, like... What if it's like a cheese plate

that you can spread on a cracker with jelly? Ew. Oh, no. Ew. That is so refined for her. Oh, my God. That's fucking nasty. What is your favorite thing in the world to eat? Chicken fingers? You did not hesitate. No, because I... I know. I miss chicken fingers. I miss chicken nuggets.

You know, that's an interesting, you know, point you made because the discrepancy between chicken fingers, tenders, and nuggets is not one that should be glossed over. No, but what is the difference between fingers and, um, um, tenders? Tenders. So, different part of the chicken. I, I think that a chicken tender, don't quote me on this. Okay.

I think a chicken tender is like a better cut of meat. Okay. Than a chicken finger. Like, chicken fingers, why you need it, like, ballparks. It's like not the greatest. Right. But like, in a good, like, on a kid's menu, on like a nice restaurant, they will have chicken tenders. I think.

But I'm a nugget gal Oh, okay So you like nuggets over Over all of them Yeah Yeah But it's easier to eat Would be your favorite food

Yes Okay Oh sorry chicken Did I not say chicken nuggets Say chicken fingers Because I think chicken fingers Is more like You know

It's an universal term It's a state Yeah Yeah yeah I love this conversation I'm so into it Well like I'm on tour now And so you get a rider

Like you know Yeah In every venue you go to And it's like They could give you Whatever you want Like if you said I want a dog

Like legally they would have to bring you a dog. So I'm like, what do I want? And it really made me evaluate what I want to eat on a consistent basis. I always get sushi. Oh, that's good. But if you're in like a state that's inland,

yeah. Like Nashville has the worst sushi and I still eat it all the time. I don't care. I think chicken fingers was a good call because no matter where you are, they're pretty much the same. And it's all about the dip. And then I get to try local like chains.

My favorite part about going on tour is trying out like Waterburger. Do you have those in Nashville? No. It's like a southern burger chain that I never would have heard about. Why would it not be in Nashville if it's a southern burger chain? I know. It's in Dallas.

We've been in Arizona. It's more western than. Maybe. Waterberg? Waterburger. Oh, what a burger? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, I thought you said Waterberg. I'm like, first of all, it's a stupid name. I talk so fast. I'm sorry. But what I'm saying is like going on tour and getting chicken fingers in every state, they get from like a local place. You get to try all these chains raising canes.

Have you ever had? No. Delicious. Really. I get to try all these new chain restaurants. That's my favorite part about going on tour. I love that. Okay, do you have a bus yet?

No, so you know what? It's actually so funny that you say that because that's like a... That's my dream. That's my goal. Right. And I said, I'm like, okay, when we get to the spot of having a goal, like, I mean, the goal of having a bus, I want my face. I want to be wrapped on the bus. And my entire team is like, that is so bad for security.

Like, you can't. Like, they immediately put a stop in it. I'm like, okay, well, then I don't even want a bus. Yeah. What's the point? They think you have to sleep on it. Yeah, no, like, I'll stay in a hotel. I'm good.

It's my dream to have like an off-the-vine bus. I know, by the way, that's literally the best dream ever. And I had pictures to show everyone at the Hanna-Montana bus. And literally they just totally stopped me in my tracks. They're like, it's terrible idea. How excited were you guys when the whole like Miley Cyrus, Caitlin thing came out to talk about that? Love it. Yeah.

So excited. And I've just been watching The Hills New Beginnings. And it makes me like even more excited because she's such a great girl. And now I'm like, I understand why everybody wants to date her. Yeah, I want to date her. Me too. Honestly, same. Yeah.

I totally would date her. 100%. And so I really. I ship her and Miley. I do too. What other relationships are going on right now? I feel like everything I was Bachelor. Right.

Oh, so crazy. But I'm really focused on the Jonas brothers and sisters. Just the couples within the Jonas family make me so fucking happy. Yeah. I want only lifelong and prosperous happiness for Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner. Like I want them to have the best life ever. I hope that they're so happy because if they ever, God forbid, knock on wood a million times had to end their relationship, but I would be devastated.

I know. I think I would be too. obsessed with her. She's so funny and like the best, that's like Jason's celebrity crush. That's a really, that says a lot about him. Yeah. I'm like, that's a cool one to have. And he likes Jessica Beal with no makeup on. Oh my God.

What a, maybe she needs a new makeup artist. I feel like she does a lot of like, like never wears makeup in post and stuff. Yeah. That's true. But she's like so naturally who's your celebrity crush? Paul Rudd. Okay, very specific. Do you watch friends? Yes. Yeah, he's really great.

Of course I watch friends. Jackie doesn't watch friends. I can't stand friends I know don't even talk to me like I can't I can't stand it she's so obsessed with I don't understand right now my husband that's like saying you don't like dogs yeah or like french I don't understand how you guys like it so much I find it's so annoying I find it so unfunny and the laugh track like don't get you started it kind of does that too no it's so upsetting that she you don't understand like our show is filled with 1,000 friends references that like go unnoticed because home girl doesn't know what I'm talking about enjoy the references and I like when you explain the episodes I'm like oh that sounds like a good episode but then I watch it like even

the Mesapequa episode where like it's the best episode where like it's the best Alex Baldwin. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it steeped in Native American history? I love when you say all the quotes, so I watch the episode. Oh, we're driving aces! And you didn't think it was funny. No, and I was like, the best part of this episode is Alec Baldwin, who's not even on this show.

But then I sat down with you and tried to make you watch what I thought to be a good all-around episode. It's hard to choose one when she's, like, so stubborn against it. Yeah. I'm so open-minded, though, and I really, like, we watched. You literally were getting up the whole time you were talking, Zach, you went to the kitchen. Like, you didn't even watch. The doorbell rang. You need to know where the room was.

Like, I had things to do. But we watch all of the same television shows. Like, you guys watch a society in a week. So I watched it in one day, so I wouldn't miss anything. No, what's that? Because you travel so much, it's perfect for the plane. Okay. I need a good plane show.

And you know what? I'm not going to tell you what it's about because Margot just put it on for me and I had no clue what I was getting into. I thought I was getting into like a Riverdale teenage drama. And that's not what it is. So not knowing what it is makes it even better. That's how I watched it too. I didn't know anything. Don't let me forget that.

Tell me at the end of this and I'm going to write it down. It's unbelievable. So, anyways, I definitely have FOMO when it comes to you guys enjoying shows that I don't watch. And trust me, I would love to like friends, and I can't fucking stand it. What is? It's her mindset. Like, her mind won't let her. It's the way they talk.

They're so annoying. And, like, the scripts is so bad. And the laugh, I can't stand a laugh track. But if it was good content, maybe I could get past it. I don't like sitcoms. I don't like sitcoms. Okay. Except I like The Nanny.

Such a good show. Such a good show. Oh, my gosh. I forgot about the Nanny. You don't really. She's not annoying? Right. Her voice.

I mean, I actually love her. We're not one to complain about voices. Right. We can't. Why? All of our podcast series, this girl's voice so annoying. Really?

Vocal fry. I don't know what that is. Sorry. Everyone tells us to be a vocal fry. Like, I don't even know what that is, but sounds. Really? Or they tell us, like, to stop talking, like, the way that we're talking. But I'm just opening my mouth.

I'm just living. I'm not doing how you talk. Yeah. Right. Oh, I like your guys's voices. Thank you. I, like, actually love when I see stuff, like, on your Instagrams or like, whatever, I'm always like oh i'm just so in it like as soon as you guys start talking i'm in yeah you're unique in

that no you guys have a successful show i'm obviously not the only one who feels that way you know the toasters are very supportive of our vocal five i feel like the toasters are kind of like the vinos like they are just very loyal invested very badass lovely people i totally agree there's definitely a lot of crossover yeah and this is on the lovely because like they're all of those things but then they're like so great to each other they're so supportive of us and like they just are doing wonderful things with their lives and they're real like human people people and they like their community and isn't it sad though that like we are unique

in that like our audiences I know tons of people who have like the meanest followers like who are always yelling at them and like telling them what to do and it's like I don't feel that way and I'm sure you don't either I think we are very unique in the fact that like our community is like very supportive of our businesses of us as human beings and always

want us to succeed and they're always offering actually great fucking insight and how they give us ideas for merch or whatever we take them we take everyone's ideas oh I take their ideas very seriously yeah no I like every time I'm like, wow, why didn't I think about that? Thank you. And it's like, who better to know what your business should be doing than someone who is a consumer of your business?

Exactly. No, you've got to listen to that. I feel like big brother people get the meanest audience. I mean, CBS is like such a big platform that you are opening yourself up to fucking nastiness from every corner of the earth. Like so nasty. Yeah. But it's a sort that swings both ways because then you also have a huge platform. So like you get that audience overnight.

But, you know, when it's going to come with some negative aspects. Yeah, that's true. Whereas like for us, like we are, you know, out. you're hustling for each and every listener. Yeah, I was going to ask you guys, does it annoy you when, like, people go on The Bachelor and then just come out with this ridiculous following when you guys have worked so hard? Oh, not really. It's very much like a part of our ecosystem.

Yeah. And we feel like they can, then they come on our show. So, like, it always, it balances. And you know what's really great about Bachelor Nation is like just because you've been on the show doesn't mean you're going to be successful. It's really a meritocracy. Yes. It's based on talent.

And not only do you have to have like a good performance on the show. You have to post premium content before. during and after. And you just have to be a likeable person. So, yes, you've got a lot of followers. But the people that hit the millions, like, they're working for that. So I actually don't think that. Only when they start a podcast and the podcast sucks is that when it's like, oh, this is

annoying. But you know what? No one's going to listen to your podcast if it sucks. It's true. What do we care if that's what you choose to do? Right. You would think it's annoying. But because Bachelors Nation is ruthless when it comes to content and, like, they

really want, you know, good shit. Yeah. It doesn't feel as like bitter, you know? That's true. Yeah. And you guys, then it gives you stuff to talk. talk about. Right. It's the ecosystem. Yeah, you're right. If they're starting a podcast, that means that they're, like, interested in getting their name out there, then they'll come on her show. And, like,

it really is, like, rising ties. Anyone who comes on this show, I support. Yeah. Have you had Hannah B on your show? No. Have you? Well, I was supposed to do, like, four times, but ABC just doesn't like me getting Bachelor people on the show. Like, really? Because she messaged me. She's like, I'm so sorry. I keep having to cancel. Like, I want to come on. And I just, it always ends up canceled. You know what I think it is. I think it's that, like, ABC has. I had so many of their contestants go on, go on their own and make huge shows like yours. And they don't have any, they don't own your show. And that's like a huge misopportunity for them.

Now they have their own show with Rachel Lindsay and Allie. And I think they're trying to make that. I think they're trying to limit what shows other contestants go on. That's actually so smart and so true. Yeah. Yeah, that is, that is, I think you're right. And thank God I didn't base my whole podcast on just Bachelor Nation because then I'd be really screwed right now.

They're so powerful, the almighty ABC. So powerful. Like, I'm pretty sure that they are the reason why I have never been and we'll never be on Dancing with the Stars. That is literally, like, I will die on the hill that you need to be on Dancing with the Stars and that it's never too late. Anytime someone gets cast on Dancing with the Stars, Bachelor or not, on our show, we always bring it back to Justice for Caitlin Bristow. I love that so much. It's not right. It's not, but I think as long as Mike Fleiss is involved with ABC, I will never be on that show because he has the power to say no.

But, like, why is Mike Fleiss so involved in ABC? There's lots of drums. I know. I was like, hmm, karma. I'm like, well. Exactly. I'm like, well, I really hope she's okay. Right.

No, of course, of course. I don't like to like, I don't want to be like, ha, ha, yes. But also, like, karma. Right. I've been waiting, not that I'm like wanting something bad, but like I've been waiting for something to come out just because I know that he's not like the greatest human being. Yeah. I've been like shocked that it took this long for something to come out on him. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah. People like that just. Yeah. I'm like their time will come. It always does. It comes for everyone. It really does.

It really does. I have a few people I'm still waiting on it too. I'm like, can't wait to see what happened. I was going to ask you guys, do you think Instagram is going anywhere? No. I feel like people talk about it for so long.

They're like, it's fleeting. And when it became my full-time job, people were like, how irresponsible. And it's like, please, five years later, I'm like, this shit is still here. Mark Zuckerberg knows everything. It's getting better. And I'm never been happier to not listen to other people.

Yeah. And Instagram's just, I think it's just going to keep going. Like they're going to figure out new ways to like update the app. Yeah, exactly. Just like how now there's stories. And because it's owned by Facebook and like Facebook is here to stay, it's like Google, I don't think we have to worry about it really going anywhere. Yeah, neither. That's just changing. But as long as you change with it, you're good. Remember when we were all posting Snapchat stories and like would rather die than post an Instagram story? I don't even have Snapchat anymore. I literally go on Snapchat. One week for everyone to move over. It's true. It was crazy. Do people still do snap? Snapback? Bean? Is she still in business? She went on once in the last year. Yeah. Okay. I mean, she caused you so many problems. Snapback Bean? She really does. She was a little bitch. She didn't get it. No, not at all. She tried. But the fact that she didn't get it, she got it. Right. Yeah. It was a crazy time. Yeah, it was a crazy time. But I heard it's coming back because they have like these like Snapchat TVs now or something. Like, they've been trying to make Snapchat TV, like long form content. They've been trying to make that like it on Snapchat for so long.

So many brands put like millions and millions of dollars into these channels and they make content with like influencers who I think are going to bring audience and literally nobody watches it. What's the new thing coming out where you're going to be able to do like 10 minute videos but like on Snapchat? No, it's like a whole new system that's starting that it's like a new app. Is it Vine 2? No.

God, I can't wait for Vine 2. But I feel like when you talk about like a new app that's not even out yet and it's going to be the next new thing, like no one decides what the next new thing is going to be. It just becomes, you know? Like, there's no way to predict it. So I'll just, we keep riding the way. But then also when things happen where it's like, okay, Snapchat's producing things. And I'll go look at what it is.

I'm like, okay, this is not for me. Like, I'm a 26 years old. I officially feel old. Yeah. I'm not going to like go participate in something that wasn't meant for me. No, but also, who is it for? No, I really don't know. Like this content they're putting out from like influencers, celebrities, like gamers.

Like, who is the target audience? I think like high schoolers, which is fine. It is definitely high schoolers. It ain't me. It's, I really think that, because, like, my niece is in the seventh grade, which is so crazy. But, like, she, like, begs my sister to get Snapchat. Really? Yeah.

And I feel like that's, like, all of her friends use Snapchat. Send nudes. Yeah. Oh. So crazy. No, I just thought about, like, my niece getting involved in that world. And, like, I'm like, no. She's not allowed.

Snapchat is a cesspool for children. Kate, it scares the shit out of me. I agree. Really? I think it's actually so lighthearted because it's not as curated. People just, like, send ugly pictures. Like, not ugly, but, like, you. You know, you don't wear makeup.

Unfiltered. Do, like, selfies with funny faces. You send it to your friends. And it's just, like, not as Instagram. You're where people, like, go crazy over parties. They weren't invited to you. Yeah, it's not as bad for... Filtered pictures where, you know, there's not as much societal pressure,

especially because a lot of it is one-to-one. That's fair. You don't see comments. Yeah. Yeah, like, the validation that comes with Instagram is, like, debilitating on your mental health. I agree with that. But Snapchat being, like, a cesspool of nude photos. That's where it's not great for children.

I don't think that that's what it is predominantly anymore. No, I think it really started that way. You can send nude photos any which way you want now. Yeah, but it feels a lot better sending it on Snapchat where it disappears. I mean, I don't know. It can take screenshots. People can take screenshots. Yeah.

Yeah, but it just makes you feel better knowing it's not like in a feed, like a chat. That's good then that you didn't have to send it in an eye message. Thankfully, thankfully Snapchat is keeping our nude safe. That's true. We'll see. Hopefully. Your hair has grown really fast. Oh my God, thanks.

When I wear it this way, it looks really long and I've also just been like, I used to have a bob. And I thought that that was it for me. And now that it's growing back, I'm like, oh, what was I doing? But I'm glad that I had that experience. No, it looked so good on you, though. It did. But your hair has grown so long. I'm going to keep it long until I, like, have kids, and then I'm going to have mom hair.

I'm so excited. I can't wait to have mom hair. I can't wait. I'm going to bleach my hair because I'm already getting grays. So I'm just going to bleach it really blonde and do a bob. That's really cute. Yeah. I can't wait.

I'm excited for you. I would actually die to do a pixie cut. Oh, then Claudia wouldn't talk to you anymore. I'm not going to do it. That is just, like, I have, like, a thing with the pixie cut. Oh. Especially when, like, celebrities do it, like, ironically, you know? Oh, I love when celebrities do it.

I'm like, good for you. It is literally my least favorite hairstyle. And, like, it's one that I think about all the time and one that, like, really triggers me personally. Wow. I just don't like it. And I'm sorry to any listener with a pixie cut, like, you are beautiful. But it's just, as it's a personal choice saying, like, I fucking hate it. What about it?

Do you hate? I just think it's, like, so, I mean, first of all, like, if you have a pixie cut, you're brave. Because, like, I use my hair for one thing and one thing only to cover my double chin. Like, that's why I will never cut my hair. it makes my hair look full therefore contrasting the size of my face so first of all i just don't think like it's possible for anyone to have a face so perfect that they can just like remove all sorts of like drapery you know yeah and it's just one i don't think is cute i'm sorry all right so i'm going to tell you something i used to have this rug in my living room that i absolutely loved but let me

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Okay. I happen to think Ruby Rose is literally the only person on planet Earth. Because when I think, when I think Pixie Cut, I think Anne Hathaway at the Oscars, using her Oscar as a weapon against self-doubt, okay? That's what the Pixie Cut represents. That's what she represents. Yeah, like she took that Pixie Cot and fucking ruined it. Okay.

But I'm going to show you another photo. Okay. Because I mean, okay. No, no, no, but like this is something. You've never been challenged on your hatred. Ever, ever. You're blind hatred. I'm definitely challenging you on your hatred for Pixie Cuts.

Okay. Because my girlfriend, Ariel Swan, did a, no, not Ariel, that's her sister. So Rinda Swan. You guys must be close She did a whole TED talk on hair Okay And that Okay

She's so gorgeous Let me see First of all That's her Okay wow Gorgeous And then she did this for the TED Talk She's gorgeous

Okay but see she is a perfect face Like that is just so unrealistic Like to have that sort of jawline And like chiseled features I'm sorry What was her thesis for the TED talk about hair? I can't even handle her beauty Oh totally

I can't it was like hair defining you yeah which i let my hair define me i kind of do too but i'm okay with that i definitely my hair is like something that i'm super insecure about really yeah because it's so thin oh and it doesn't grow and i just feel like when i was on the show i were extensions all the time and i was so stressed and then when i lost a bunch of hair from it i can't people knew that it was an insecurity of mine so they they went after it because they knew it bothered me so then it amplified everything it's really like scary putting your insecurities out there because then people use it as a weapon against you no that's exactly right i i'm like well i think now

everybody knows my insecurities because of the podcast i talk about them but but i do notice putting it out on your own terms like and the haters don't listen to podcasts no it's so true yeah that's too much time for them no that would think well yeah well i have seen a couple haters yeah the saddest is haters who like support you you know yeah yeah the best it's one of my favorite things when people talk shit to me and they're following me i'm like this is hilarious yeah Like, do comments get to you guys? Every now and then, you know? Yeah.

And certain ones, like, stay with you. I remember the first mean one I ever got. Like, I don't know if I'll ever forget it. Yeah. Because it was so fucking mean. Yeah. And I hadn't gotten any mean comments because I had no followers. So, like, nobody cared enough to leave a comment.

And so the fact that someone cared enough to leave a comment and then it was negative, like, really, like, they said, I was single-handedly setting back feminism two entire decades. And all I do is stay at home and play with my dog's chihuahua. I mean, my dog's penis. I didn't even have a dog at the time. They were like, wait, first of all, how did you get chihuahua on? penis because they said your chihuahua's penis. Oh, okay. Okay. And so I'm like, I don't even have a dog. And I don't know if I did it, but definitely not have a chihuahua. And like this

person... Nor would I play with its penis. Oh, that too. Yes, that too. This person just didn't even know me well enough to like comment. Yeah. Constructively. And it just sat with me for so long. Obviously now I've developed a thicker skin. I remember like, I'm going to my room and crying and all my sisters were like, you've got to change your attitude if this is going to be your business. Or get a new job. Go be a CPA. Right. CPA scene. Yeah. That's true. Every time you get a mean comment. It's like, I think I should be an accountant. There are some times you can handle it. Do you ever get a comment

so mean that you really think about quitting your job? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Like, people tell me to kill myself. And I'm like, oh, I don't think I can handle hearing those words. Just be grateful. More than once. Be grateful you're not Jewish. Because you would get, the Nazis should have burned you all. Shut up. All the time. People

say that to you? Dirty Jew. All the fucking time. I want to shove my Nazi dick and your Jew pussy. Oh, no. Yeah. A lot of you know. That's happened. Many a time. I want to throw up.

I know. Honestly, those ones don't offend me. I honestly think they're kind of funny. But that is the most fucking thing, like, I've ever heard in my life. Yeah. I'm like trying out to throw up. That is so, I've heard it all. That's the worst thing I've ever heard.

I know. I honestly, I remember what he looked like, too. He was like a little bald kid. Like he had a buzz cut. Did you call him out or did you ignore that one? That one, I actually think a screenshot and I put on my Instagram. Instagram. Yeah.

That's always a fun thing to do. Yeah. Like bigotry. It's one of my favorites. Yeah. It's my favorite pastime. It's called me husband's favorite thing to do. Ben lives for it.

Really? Jason always tells me not to do. He's like, don't do that. I'm like, no, I'm doing it. No, that's good advice. And that's what a husband and boyfriend should tell you to do. Yeah. No, I think it's so.

I love calling out, like, just an idiot. Yep. I will ignore the ones that I know, like, you made up a something to get at me. Right. But the people that are actually, like, real people saying that. Shocking. I love calling. them out. I agree. I think you should keep doing it. Oh, I will. And I also enjoy watching other

people do it. Yeah. Oh, me too. And then, like, seeing what happens to, they'll, sorry, I can't talk. Oh, my God. Because I'm getting so excited. Like, they'll tag the account and be like, this person just call me like a C-U-N-T. And then you'll see what happens to the person. Like, they'll change their Instagram name and go on private. You know, it's hilarious. And then you're like, ha-ha, and it works. Because then that person will probably think next time before they do it again. Yeah, you're doing it for the greater good. You're teaching them a lesson. However, I'm going to be devilets advocate here. And Jackie's right. Because I don't subscribe to this school of thought, mostly because it's like you get so many positive

comments. For every one bad comment, you probably get 5,000 positive ones. So it's like, but I try and pay attention to those. Okay, like, and if I ever respond to a mean comment, like on a picture, then I have to respond to every single positive one because why should the one asshole get my attention when all the people who love me don't get to hear for me? Yeah, I agree. So then it's like, oh, maybe we should just talk shit and then she'll answer us. That's true. Even if we don't feel this way. No, Jackie is so annoying. Like, she's right about everything. Damn it. And like, I've only recently come to that realization that like I'm actually not right about pretty much anything like Jackie's I literally like won't fart without calling Jackie I'm like I'm like

hold it in I call her yesterday I'm like should I fart is is it cool she said no I'm like what'd you eat where are you no shit you need to be like a life coat she really should she has this ability to see the future she's Raven Simone like just business wise like then that's how I've come to this realization like starting a business with her like we have ideas you know yeah and I have the worst ideas always like all my ideas are fucking terrible And I'll throw it out there And Jackie will obviously say now But then she'll say why not

And she'll be like, because it has the potential To go wrong here And then she's totally right Like she sees the fucking future Wow Yeah, like I can see like the worst possible Cased area and I'm not saying That's going to happen every time we do something

But like that's the worst thing that would happen Are we okay with that? Could you live with that? No Wow, I need you in my life No, it's actually amazing And now I've gotten everyone hooked I'm like Ben's like should I do something

I'm like I don't know Uncle Jackie That's so funny You're like a little a little Buddha I just hope she doesn't you know, like get drunk on the power. I'm being in control of my life. Oh, that's true. Or, like, just not think things through

because I just think the first thing I think is going to be the right thing. But I'm also someone who's like, whenever something happens on the show when someone does or says something like a celebrity, I really feel like two sides of, like I see both sides of every coin. Even like when we recap The Bachelor.

I'm like, I see Blake and I see Kalin and like, and so sometimes it's like I can't make a decision because I'm just too like I saw the bigger picture. But that's what makes good conversation and banter and good TV. Our show actually has a lot of that because we literally have had the same life like we grew up like we don't really have different life experiences and we pretty much agree on everything yeah but when it comes to like big

issues like the Kevin Hart um Oscars yeah we firmly stand in the middle of almost every single issue just because we really try and see all sides and I feel like as people who went through like a media thing and nobody saw our side like we're like just wait like listen you know so now we literally we fight for the underdog but we pretty much stay in the middle on every single topic and talk about it from both sides and like get equally passionate on every angle I like that I like that. I tried to do that with the Blake and Kaelin thing because I had Kailen on the podcast. I thought she was great. I'm friends with Blake. And I'm like, obviously we only see one side on TV and you just never know the real story. And you see the hate that he was getting and then she was getting. But when you recap the Bachelor, I'm sure it's even more difficult because we've now, like, we met Kaylin and she was amazing. Like we loved her so much. I thought she was the most beautiful girl. I wanted to be her friend. And just meeting people like you second guess what you say about them just because you like kind of know them now. And you are really in it. Yeah, and even if you've never met them, you know you might meet them. So, like, if you have something negative to say about them, Christina Shulman, like, would you say it?

Like, we, we, so we just launched a second show on our network called The Snatchler, which is hosted by our sister Margo. Oh, I love that. And it's Bachelor Recap, and we're on Paradise now. And we do. We try and see all sides of everything, but, like, we just are not here for Christina. Like, we think she's a woman who doesn't support other women, and she's kind of mean, and she has ulterior motives. And we've been, like, kind of going in on her. And, like, now I'm just, like, hoping, praying, wishing, like, I never run into her, you know?

yes I've done that but people have changed my mind like I'm such a big brother fan and so many times I've watched the show and been like I cannot with this person and then I meet them and I'm like damn it you're lovely yeah yeah and I hate that I've never met Christina but I'm sure she's so nice like that's always what happens like we had Real Housewife of Dallas Leanne locking on our show and she is like the villain of villains like she is insane yeah and we were like shaking in our boots and she was so fucking lovely she went just for a drink afterwards like the nicest girl ever and like Like that's what really opens your eyes to like how TV can. Right. And just like media in general can be manipulative. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh. But then you also want to have an entertaining show and say what you think.

Like if we all get along like why. Why is that interesting? And that person's a villain for a reason. They know that that's going to be talked about. Right. You know, that's kind of your role on the show. So you kind of have to talk, say your truth. Yep.

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slash vine we'll be back with more off the vine with kately bristow now back to off the vine with kately bristow um shall we confess oh yeah okay Jackie came up with a good one we have one together okay yeah because it's mortifying okay a joint confession and it really encapsates what we were talking about before like We are in an interesting place, like, in our lives and careers where, like, a lot of people know who we are and, like, more people don't know who we are and are, like, don't even get what we do. So we're, like, in this weird middle, middle point. Like, sometimes we get huge, cool opportunities thrown at us. And more often than not, like, we don't.

Yeah. So we went to the Super Bowl, um, 2018. A year and a half ago. Yeah. And we didn't know what like the Super Bowl was all about. We didn't know it was like this big celebrity weekend. And we were just like going, you know, to go. We were going and we were like, we're going to go everywhere and be seen.

and get our pictures taken. And we are in the car on the way to the airport. Yeah. And Olivia, who was our producer, showrunner and just like Mom and Jure at the time. And our sister. And our sister got an email. And it said, hey, you know, it's from TMZ. We're picking up people at the airport.

Like, you know, let us know what time if it's in. We want to talk to Jackie and Claudia about sports. And just like, because they were there for the Super Bowl. And like, they just want to see talent who would come in. So we were like, oh, my God. So, I mean, we looked like shit. So we were like, okay, it's fine, it's fine. So we got on the plane and we're like, when we land in Minneapolis, we will go to the bathroom, we will do glam.

We ordered, like, a really nice car. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because they filmed you, like, getting into a car. So we got a sprinter, like a, it was expensive. Oh, my God, I forgot about that detail. That's so smart. And we have the pictures in this. Oh, I'll show you.

I'll show you. So we're in the bathroom. People are, like, literally staring at us in the Minneapolis airport. Like, we were putting on fur coats, coats, glam, blowing out our hair in the bathroom. They told us exactly where to be. We, our sprinters there, we open the glass doors, and nobody's there. Literally. There's a garage.

Silence. Because you took too long glamming in the bathroom? I don't know. I just don't think, like, it was a maybe thing. Right. But let me show you these pictures. Like, we, and then we just took the sprinter van, like, to our hotel. We, like, our coats match.

Oh, my gosh. We put so much fucking effort because, like, we're like, we're going to be on T.M. Yeah. Okay, here, wait, I actually have the pictures right here. That's so funny. Crickets. Pure cricket. Oh, wow.

You guys were not lying. Oh, well, you look great. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. That would have been a great TMZ moment. I know. Like, honestly, it was one of, like, the many things, the few things, like, in my life that I still think about and think what could have been.

Yeah. But that story is like... Oh, did you see the car we're in? It's like a full fucking limo. Yeah. That story is a definition of our lives. Like, almost big enough for TMZ. Right.

I've never been on TMZ. Really? No, never. And one time they were there, and I was like, here's my chance. And then they were like, Jared. And it was Jared. And it was Jared Letto was behind me. Oh, I thought you had Jared High Bond.

Oh. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? You were a bachelorette. I dumped him. He wasn't even a lead. That's so funny. No, Jared Lido. Okay, honestly, then that's fair.

He used to be my celebrity crush until I saw him on the plane because he was on my, he was on my flight. And he was like, I was here and somebody else was beside me. And then he was on the other side in the seats. He had this pink hoodie on. And he was so mean to the. flight attendant. No. Like yelled at her and she

was trying to get him to put his stuff up because it wasn't fitting on the seat and he refused. And he was like, do not touch my stuff. And he was so nasty. And then I was like, well, then there goes my crush on him. Oh my God. I had a similar situation. Not with a crush, but with thinking TMZ was for me

at LAX. And I'm walking into security and I looked so fucking ugly. I'm like, of course. No. And I didn't realize that right in front of me. was Johnny Mansell, the football player. And it was in the height of, like, he had like a lot of drama. I don't know what went on, but like he had just got engaged, like, this Instagram girl.

And they were right in front of me. And, like, I was behind, like, in my sunglasses, like, trying to get in, you know. I was like, fully in the background. And they never posted it. Oh. Because he didn't talk to TMZ. He was, like, going through a lot, you know? So he just ignored.

I'm like, Johnny, just fucking talk so I can get in it. Okay. Also, I hate when people do the ignore thing. Because at least say, like, I'm so sorry. I'm not. I'm not going to comment on that. Like, at least say something. Yeah. I hate when you don't even acknowledge that somebody's literally talking right to your face and you're like...

And weirdly enough, like I know TMZ gets a bad rap, but all the guys that work for them, like, I watch them on TMZ live. They're like funny and nice. They're so funny. And they're very personal. So when they come up with the camera, they like are chatting and they like are chatting and they ask great interesting questions. Like not what you would think. Right. They're like podcast hosts. You know. Wait. I had a... I just remember this. Jason and I came out of a building and it was when we were first dating. And this guy was like, hey, I'm with TMZ. And he was talking to us and he was asking us about Colton and like doing all this stuff. But he didn't say TMZ on the camera. Oh, shady. And I was like, and then I found him on Instagram, and he definitely was not with TMZ. He's making a home video. But he posted the videos. And he has a decent following. So he is a paparazzi, but I found it very interesting that he lied about TMZ.

Well, I mean, anyone can work for TMZ. Like, if you're a paparazzi and you sell the photo to TMZ. So I guess hypothetically, any cameraman could say. Okay. But I never ended up on there because. I know. That's like, old news. That's one of my career goals.

To be on TMZ. Netflix special, be on TMZ. Oh, I would love a Netflix special. girl me too i'm like asking my mom like do you have like home videos like yeah you always need just in case yeah because i love watching those documentaries where you like get insight into their life as a child i'm like so true like we're watching so much the jonas brothers one did you see they literally have footage from every moment of their lives they had a conversation between kevin jonas and daniel jonas when he like met this girl when he was 17 and now they

ended up being married he was talking on the phone tour being like i'll get your tickets we're playing a show tonight like it was so cute and i was thinking like if they ever do it in each true hollywood story. I have no fucking footage. Yeah. I feel like we have childhood footage and we have like 15 years lost and then like when we started the show. Now we have an hour a day at footage. I have me seeing like Skinnamarinky dink when I was like

three and then nothing. Caitlin always had a talent for showbiz. She would always entertain our company in the living room. Singing skinnamarinky dinky dinkie. Skinny marinkie do. You know what? I would prefer it if your documentary didn't have that because I can't stand it. It is the worst part of the documentaries.

Oh, I love it. Oh, I'm like, what someone was like as a child to me is irrelevant, except Nick Jonas was very musically talented. That was interesting. But what about the Justin Bieber documentary? I don't think I saw it. I'm not a Beeb's fanatic. Oh, I'm a Beeb. I'm a Belibre.

It's a Canadian. Yeah. That's what it is. She's a big Canadian audience. I'm doing a show in Vancouver at the end of September. Tickets available at Girlthnotnowjob.com. Oh, my gosh. Yes.

Vancouver's where I lived for like 11 years. By the way, it's so beautiful. It's stunning. I mean, I've never been. I've seen on Instagram. But I'm going and I'm actually really excited. When are you going? September 22nd, I think.

Oh, that's a good time to go. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll spread the news. Oh, please tell all your family and friends. Yeah, I will. They would love to go to that. Hey, wait, tell me about the tour.

Oh, it's everything. So is it, remember I was on the master? Is it like that? It is. So you were on at the very beginning when I wanted to do stand-up, but I didn't have a set. So I would do like 20 minutes of stand-up and then play games and have guests and you came on. And I slowly started to remove those things. So for about a year now, I took out.

the interviews, I took out the games, and I stretched that 20 minutes of stand-up to 90 minutes, and now I do about, like, 75, 80 minutes of stand-up? Yeah, pure. It's fucking hilarious. Oh, my God, that's a... Good for you. I mean, it's like my literally, my one and only proudest accomplishment. Like, I, because I think stand-up is the scariest. The scariest. Ever.

So, a good way to get into it was starting out with like 10, 20 minutes, and then 30, then 40. And so now I've been on tour for like 18 months, and I will... Now I only do stand-up. I don't do the guests anymore. really fun, but I was wanting to hone my craft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, good for you. Thank you. Where's your favorite place you've gone? Oh, my God. I fucking loved Charlotte.

Oh, I love Charlotte. We hate New York. It's great, but there's so much traffic. It's so smelly. It's so poorly managed. And we're always looking for like a smaller, still like pop-in, but less pop-in version of New York. One that's, you know, central to different. With no income tax. With no income tax. You have no income tax in Nashville. Yep. So I've been using the tour as basically like research and development for where we want to go. And we thought Cleveland would be the place we were going to be. But I went to Charlotte. And I told Jackie, I said

Charlotte is it. Jason and I have talked about moving to Charlotte. His parents live there. It's beautiful. And we love it. Do you guys love living in Nashville, though? Like, to us, that's a dream. Yeah. To us, that's the dream. Really? Yeah. I don't know. I was going to say, why don't you just move there? I don't know. I don't know. But, like, there's no... Honestly,

I think I might die of alcohol poisoning because, like, I treat Nashville the way people treat Vegas. Like, Broadway and the country music, the live music, like, that is my dream. Like, I would so much rather prefer, like, a live band over, like, a club DJ, you know? Oh, me too. every day. Every day. That's, yeah, Nashville's so fun. The only problem is, I can't believe I'm about to admit this. I'm scared to run into somebody. Yeah. I really am because I don't know how that would go over. And it's not like I would be like, yeah. And you haven't run into this person. No, no, never once. And if I saw that person's dog, I think I would have a public breakdown. But your dog is so cute. We got to have a doggy play date. Okay, because he travels with me.

Does yours travel with you? You know, I've never taken him anywhere. Oh. He's coming somewhere. He's a homebody. He's coming somewhere at the end of the year. I just, no, you know what it is? It's that I only travel for work mostly.

And I try and get in and out so fast because I'd love to sleep in my own bed. So I think it's mean to take a dog on two flights in 24 hours. I love to sleep in hotel beds. You do? I love it. I hate it. I have the best sleeps of my life in hotels. And I have mastered the perfect bed.

My bed at home is the comfiest bed. you've ever had in life. Like, it's better than a hotel bed. But for some reason, I just had the best sleeps of my life in hotels. No, I am so afraid to be alone. I love being alone. Oh, my God, no.

And I just, I find actually I don't sleep well in hotel rooms. There's always, like, people, like, slamming doors and shit. I find it comforting that there's, like, people around me. Yeah, a murderer. Yeah, because they're not alone. Yeah, because the murderer is in the room. Yeah, but they can't break in. I've watched one too many episodes of SVU.

Yeah. When you traveled with your dog, does he have a seat on the plane? No, he just sits at my feet or on my lap. But he's so big. I see you. I know. I'll show you a picture after. He sits on my lap. I don't think I would have to get him a seat. The only problem is he shed so bad and I feel I bring a lint roller everywhere I go because the guy that I sat by last with Raman at my feet was so mad. You could tell you, like, picking a hair off and like, flicking it. Oh man. If I got seated next to a dog

would be so happy. Same. I would like pay extra to like go sit by a dog. That's a great new feature that some airline should have. Yeah. No, I agree. I think there should be like a flight where you can just bring your dog, like, in a seat. It's like a puppy party. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to, maybe that's my next business. Yeah, honestly, I'll invest. Okay.

Here's $20. Do you guys want to play a game before we're done? Yes. Because I know you guys like games. We do. I love games. Okay, it's called pop culture superlatives. Okay.

Okay. Since you guys know all about the latest pop culture happenings, I want you to pick one celebrity to give each of the following superlative award to. So we have to agree. Oh. Okay. Okay. That should be easy.

Okay. whoever comes to mine first Most likely to survive the hunger games Rose McGowan Oh that's a good one Wait who's that She's just I know the name

Yeah she's just like a fighter That's all you need to know Most likely to survive the hunger games The Rock Oh that's a good Jason Mamoa Jason Mamoa that's a good one See that's what

Absolutely what we do here Rose McGowan I feel like you just had her name in your head No I didn't actually have to second think her name but like she's just like always like getting through like media storms. She would survive the emotional hunger games. Yeah. No.

And if you can survive like a media shit storm, like you can survive anything. Yeah. Fair. Okay. Most likely to call the paparazzi on themselves. I mean, I love him more than anything. Spencer Pratt. Totally.

Yeah. He does. They admit they do. Yeah. And if I knew how to call the paparazzi, I would call them. I need Spencer to give me their number. He would. It was so funny because I went to Hawaii and he was like, oh, I have a guy.

He can shoot you and do the paparazzi photo. Then I was like, but I don't want that. Wait, I'm going on my honeymoon. it doesn't work. Wait, I ended up doing it. Really? That could be my confession. I called the pop rots on my own. How are the pictures? So bomb. Except he put one out there. I think if you use the hashtag Caitlin Bristow and it's, why am I telling people this? I had the most severe cameltoe of my life.

Like, like it, that shit was hungry. No, but that's good because then people will think that you didn't know they were there. That's true. So then it makes it look like believable. That's true. But now you're telling everyone that you didn't know. Right. Right. But then, but Hawaii's the worst because there's always paparazzi there and the hotels call when they know you're coming. So even though I set up that one, there was still another one that got me. No way. And I liked the one that I didn't know better.

Oh, interesting. Oh, so it's good. The more natural one. It's good to have choices. And one time I was with Spencer and Heidi and they're like, should we call the paparazzi? We're like, okay. Oh, did they come? Yeah.

How do you call them? Who is it? I don't know. And where do the pictures go? Just like daily mail. Honestly, it's pretty good. Oh, really? Yeah.

I'm going to ask Spencer. I got to call them on myself. ones. Yeah, you should. I want to be like that thirsty, like I tripped, you know, like, remember and Amy Schumer tripped in front of Kim and Kanye? Oh, it's the best. Yeah, I'm going to do something like that. Yeah, that's a good idea. Okay, biggest overall drama queen. Ooh. I feel like it's going to be someone from Bravo. Oh, no. I feel like it's going to be someone who like e-news is always posting that. Oh, you know, who would it? You know, I'd love her more than anything, but Taylor Swift is kind of a drama queen. Really? Yeah, I mean, I'm like her number

fan of the world. Yeah, I love her too. But she's a drama queen. That's not a bad thing. Oh, yeah. yeah honestly wait now I take it back Wendy Williams is a fucking drama queen Wendy Williams god she's just so entertaining I know I like want to know know more about her like I would watch a docu commentary on her me too yeah okay for sure most likely to buy Instagram followers

what a good question for a celebrity like do you remember when they they did a cleansing of all the bots and Justin Bieber lost like two million followers well the people who have the most followers always lose the most like him lost so many there's no way Justin Bieber bought followers I know like there's so many fake accounts too that got white i know i know some bloggers who did but i'm not trying

to be shady on this podcast but we have never no i feel like it would be someone from like a reality tv show who's just not getting in as many followers as the rest of the game as your past mates yeah um um i will say i'm not going to name this person's name no you'll tell us after yeah oh yeah would uh tell me i bought followers and be like yeah that i remember when you were going like after women tell all my followers blew up after women tell all because you're on TV anytime you're on tv and i think people like wanted i think at that point some people wanted me to be the bachelor after they saw me on women tell all and i was so blackout drunk after women tell all that i didn't even know it happened that becket tilly had to carry me home and then in the morning i woke up and looked

at my followers and i was like holy shit and then i was like did ABC buy me followers like that was crazy how many but um i don't remember i just remember it was like jumped significantly yeah Over 100,000. Wow. Yeah. It was like huge. What a fun day. And it just kept happening and I was like, wow.

And, yeah, so this one person, like, used to make mean comments saying that to me. Not cool. I know. Anyways. Okay. Most likely to have a sex tape come out. Ooh. I feel like, honestly, I feel like you because you have all those dog cameras in your house.

So fucking true. You know, I walk around my house and I'm like, you know, if anyone hacks my dog camera, like, they're going to see some weird shit. I have that too. I think I need to turn it around because I don't even use it for the dog. What do you? I don't know what I'm saying? I never use it.

Like I never check on it. I always get a notifications. Your dog is barking. Shut up, Ferbo. That would really take you to the next level. Like if you did really accidentally, accidentally release a sex tape. You know what?

Like I'm not opposed to TMZ. Then TMZ would show up. I'm not opposed to the concept at all. I'm a little opposed to just like my physical body being like up for. If you could face tune sex tape. If I could put like an effect, I would do black and white. Oh, yeah.

You're like the Paris Hilton one where it's like really dark. Edited, yeah. I can't believe we're really disgusting. You can use a stretching app. No, I think about this all the time. Okay, most likely to join a cult. Ooh. Britney Spears.

Yeah, I think it's too, too late. What just happened there? Sorry, I broke the microphone. Send me a bill. Send me a bill. Bill podcast one. Most likely to be the newest member of the Hills. You?

Spins are brought to talk to me about that. Yeah. There was someone I was just thinking of who's in L.A. Then I'm like, they should do the hills. Shit, who was it? I love Misha Barton. I'm loving her on the hills. Okay, I need to start watching this because...

I don't watch it either, but Jackie just started it now. She's like making me want to watch it. I want to watch it. Oh, you know who it was? I was thinking of probably Amanda Stanton. Oh, yeah. Yes. She should also be a real housewife of Orange County.

Yes, she absolutely should. Right? Yeah, but she's too nice. Are they nice? I don't know if I don't want to watch the house. Yeah, no, they would crush her. She's too sweet. I feel like she's too quiet and sweet.

Yeah, and like genuinely like a good person. I don't think that's a quality you're allowed to have. She is genuinely a good person. I know how much hate how much hate she gets. Me too. Oh, man, you know what? We were shook to our core. We were with her at Coachella and she put up a post, like a very normal post, like a

revolve one. And we think we get a lot of hate, but like she's seemingly perfect. Like she has two beautiful kids. Like she's beautiful. I've never seen such mean comments. Like I didn't think that anyone got mean or comments in us. And, like, she gets the worst comments. I see, like, I'll look sometimes just because I want to go after them because I get so mad.

I'm like, they're just jealous because she's this beautiful, tiny little mom who does it all. Yeah. That's it. And she's aspirational. Like, I hope to be something like her when I'm a mom. Oh, me too. Her kids are so good and so smart and they love her so much. She's doing something right.

She is doing something right. And people love to critique her parenthood. Like, fuck off. No, she's doing a great job. I love her. Yeah, I do too. I feel like, is this where we say justice for Amandaston? Yeah.

Yes. You're getting it. You're getting it. Okay, so I do this new thing on Tuesdays where at the end I'm going to give out an Instagrammy. And it's to someone. So I want to know who your favorite person is to follow on Instagram and let's give them an Instagramy. Oh, my God. We just did a whole episode about this for our Patreon channel, like our favorite people to follow on Instagram.

So now we just have to whittle it down to our number one. I forget. Hold on. I look through my Instagram for her. Yeah, wait, I need a minute. I had one. Okay, wait, let me pull it up here. Oh, I'm sorry.

I know who mine is. Okay. Who? Well, it's two because she has two accounts, but Lizzo. Yeah. And her flute account, Sasha B Flutin and Lizzo, Lizzo be eaten. Her flute has its own account and she has her Instagram account. Stop it.

And it's so witty. It's so well done. It's so empowering. And I just fucking love Lizzo. Okay. I do too. And you've got to follow the flute. Okay.

So are we giving the Instagrammy to the flute? Can I give it to Lizzo brand as a whole? Nope. You have to pick the account. Okay, Lizzo. Because she makes me feel so good and love myself. Yeah. Me too.

She is. She is the most inspiring. She's so inspiring. I love her. Okay. Oh, is it just one per episode or we each get to give one? Well, you get to give one. You get to give one.

And then I'm going to give one and then we're going to decide which one actually gets the Instagram. Right now, these are just like nomination. Okay. I'm nominating Diplo because I've been following him for a little while now, but like right now today I'm just obsessed with his posts, his captions, his stories. Really? His brand. Really? Style.

I think he might be like the funniest person alive. and also just so talented and so cool. Really? And I just, I love following him. Okay. Okay. I'm going to have to look into that one because I don't know. Yeah.

No, no, no. It took me a while to get on the train and now I'm like fully on it. Like there are people who I follow and I love them and then it just becomes a part of my regular life. Yeah. I'm like jaded, you know, and so blessed to be following them that I forget how blessed I am. Right now I'm feeling that way like about Diplo where I'm like, wow, I'm so grateful that you're posting this thing. You're in the moment. Yeah.

Okay. Well, mine's a little different. Mine's fashion dads. Okay. What's up? Fashion Dads underscore, they've got 180,000 followers, and their description is Fathers on Fleek. And they just post pictures of, like, dads who have, like, good fashion. Like, actually good fashion?

No. Or, like, Dad Fashion. Honestly, that's really cute. It's so cute. Dads are so precious. Like, look at this dad. Oh, hot. Yeah.

It's so funny. It's like these, like, fashionable dads, and you send in, okay, but it's not really inspiring or anything. It's good. You know what? Let's vote. But like, I'm willing to forego mine because I think I agree with Jackie Diplo's is so good. Oh, my God. I was going to go with you. Oh, now you decide. Okay, but now let me just quickly. Schizzo is a good one. But let me just quickly look at Diplo. Yeah. I mean, he just has such great. If you like country music, he like respects country music, which we love. I love country music. Did you ever come out with your song? Not yet. Why? I heard it when we were in the Caroline's green room like literally two years ago. Thank you. I will get there eventually. You have a lot going on. Yeah. There's a lot going on. Okay. So this. Is this? He's in Vegas with his kids right. Yeah, at Elton John. Oh, yeah. But, like, look at his post and his captions.

Like, it's premium pictures, premium content. That, him and Elton John, and then he said, haven't met God yet, but got pretty close tonight. Yeah, he's so cute. Let's, I'm going to, my vote's Lizzo. Yes. Because I just, everything you said. And also, you know, she does, like, important work. Like, Diplo's fun to watch, but, like, Lizzo really, like, has, like, made it significant.

Yeah. You know, like, impact on my self-worth and myself. like my esteem. Totally. And I feel like she does that for a lot of people who really need it. Yeah. You're right. I love her.

Okay. I feel really good about that. Me too. I do. Okay. But now I'm an honorable mention to the flute. Yes. And I'm really excited to now start following Diplo.

Yeah, you should. Okay. Thanks guys. Thank you. Okay. Tell everyone where they can find you. Oh, yeah. You can also give us Instagramies because we post few new content.

We are. You guys are good. Jackie O. Problems. Jackie O. Problems. I am Girl With No Job. Tickets to my tour are available at Girl With Nojob. com, hitting up L.A., San Francisco, San Diego, Vancouver, Portland, Seattle, Toronto. We're also adding some shows in London and I think maybe Dublin, so stay tuned for that.

We're taking this international. I can't think of Ireland without thinking of your season. Where you spend the whole time. Yeah, it was like, it was just annoying at the last week. I'm like, get me out of here. Like, I love Ireland and it was too much. Yeah, I drank a lot of beer. The whole season was in Ireland.

Yeah, I gained 10 pounds because all I did was drink in as an eat potatoes. And The Morning Toast is a millennial morning show. We go live Monday through Friday, 10.30 a.m. Eastern Time on YouTube so you can subscribe at YouTube.com slash a morning toast. And we're also available as a podcast. So if you're a podcaster, it's the Morning Toast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, all the places you probably listen to Off the Vine already. You've done this before. Only every day of my life.

And I love that you guys do it every day. It's amazing. It's fun. It is fun. That must be hard, though. When it's your full-time job, it's like not. But the content, like keeping the content consistent, always having good stuff to talk about. like that's where we like need to be challenged yeah yeah but like technically that's our talent yeah you know that's talking no you guys are so good we love you so good and i love you both thank you for having us yeah of course you gotta come on the toast when you're back in new york please i would love to great i'm katelyn bristow i'll see you next tuesday

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