Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Cody Rigsby: Self Love, Slowing Down & Staying True to Yourself

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

An all time fav is on the pod today! Peloton badass, Cody Rigsby, is joining the “surviving not thriving” KB to unpack some of the impactful and inspiring stories within his new book, XOXO, Cody: An Opinionated Homosexual's Guide to Self-Love, Relationships, and Tactful Pettiness. With a little luck and hard work, Cody went from a broke AF dancer to a fitness icon who made it to the DWTS Finale – even after competing virtually on BRITNEY NIGHT, of all nights. He also shares his experience living with a parent who suffered from addiction, how he turned shame into his superpower, and why it’s important to lean into discomfort. Through all the hardship, he continues to remind himself not to take life too seriously. It’s not that deep. So, if you’re looking for advice on how to get through life’s ups and downs with a dash of pop culture, you’ve come to the right place! “Never do anything for anyone else.” - Cody Rigsby Get 'XOXO, Cody: An Opinionated Homosexual's Guide to Self-Love, Relationships, and Tactful Pettinesss' TODAY! THANK YOU to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the vinos:- Hello Fresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/50VINE and use code 50VINE for 50% off plus 15% off the next 2 months!- Angi: Your home for everything home. - Hinge: Download Hinge and share your Dating Intentions to find someone worth deleting the app for.- Progressive: Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the ov er 29 million drivers who trust Progressive. Follow Us on Instagram:@offthevinepodcast@kaitlynbristowe @codyrigsby   Join the Off the Vine Facebook group to connect with fellow Vinos!  Want to watch the episode instead? We gotchu. Check out Off the Vine on the Tube!  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by HelloFresh. Go to HelloFresh.com slash 50 Vine and use code 50 Vine for 50% off plus 15% off the next two months. Angie, your home for everything home. Hinge, download Hinge and share your dating intentions to find someone worth deleting the app for. Progressive. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 29 million drivers who trust Progressive. Welcome Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and one of my all-time favorites is on the pod today.

Cody Rigsby, you know him from Peloton, Dancing with the Stars. Now he is a badass author of XOXO Cody, an opinionated homosexuals guide to self-love, relationships, and tactful pettiness. I love talking to him. this book sounds like it's going to be such a good one. I can't wait to get it. And I hope you enjoy this conversation. Oh, God. Good thing. That's like all I was watching. What if I was just like doing something inappropriate there? I was watching Nikki Bella talk about Artem. I wouldn't suspect anything super crazy from you. It's only 10 o'clock. So you know? Actually, that's true. I'm weird in the morning. I come alive at night. That's when my like true authentic self comes out is around 6 p.m.

Same. Well, in true Gemini fashion, I'm like, I have duality throughout the day. So in the morning, I'm, like, much more introspective and, like, me time and, like, in my head and, you know, sussing that out. And then post work or, like, nighttime, I'm much more social, fun, all that sort of stuff. So I get it. That's true. I'm Gemini as well, and that is so me. Ah. Interesting. How did I just figure that out now? I'm like, in the morning night, you're right. I, like, do a little meditation. I think about, like, certain things. I do gratitude. I go do a workout. And I, like, slowly get into my morning. And then at night, I'm like, let's fucking go.

Yep. I love it. That's amazing. It's so good to see you. Lovely to see you as well. How are you? I'm surviving, not thriving. And that's cool.

And that is okay. I like that you're honest, though. I like when people ask you how you are, I feel like it's always like, I'm good. I'm great. But let's, you know, there's nothing wrong with being honest. And we're allowed to be just okay. Yeah, I am. I'm just, I'm okay and it depends on the day, but usually I'm just, I'm doing okay. And I feel like

that's majority of people, but I always call it like elevator talk. Like, if I'm in an elevator, I'm probably just going to tell you I'm good. But if people like really ask me how I'm doing, I'm like, I'm going to give you an honest answer. And sometimes it's going to be like, oh, shit, I'm sorry I ask because I'll be like, you know what I'm actually like, I'm PMSing. My period's about to start. I am really grumpy and irritable. So don't piss me off. Noted. Okay. But that's not today. I'm good today. Great. In the PMS world. I'm really. like we were saying not not like the best morning person but i'm telling you when i knew i was

podcasting with you i was like i'm excited i got up i got out of bed and i was like i'm gonna get pumped up by cody today i love that you're putting out a book i love what it's about i love just your energy who you are and i like how real you are too so i'm excited to talk to you and hear all about this book and last time we podcasted obviously you were on dancing with the stars and i remember you were so tired which is obviously understandable but you are also like we're mid-COVID. It was like that time that you had COVID had to do the home performance and so exhausted. But my gosh, do you still just think about that time and be like, that rocked my world? I mean, Disney's The Stars was just like such an interesting period of my

life. I know you can relate. You know the experience well. Everyone always asked me about it. I'm like, listen, it was one of the hardest things in my life. I'm so glad that I did it. I would never do it again just because like I can check that box. And it was one of the like the most stressful things I've ever done, but also the most rewarding. And that whole COVID scenario was just the cherry on top of the chaos Sunday. So I'm glad to have been through it and over. And especially on like Queen Brittany night. You handle things like pretty well. I know you're able to like laugh things off or be like, this is life, like whatever. But I would have been such a little baby bitch about that. I would have been like, eh, let me perform in the ballroom even if it's

just for my Instagram. clear out the entire ballroom and then put a mask on one oh no just I'll put a tripod on my phone and then we'll make it work yeah it did suck and especially because I think Cheryl wanted to get like stripper poles for like get the give me more for give me more and I was so into it and then on top of it the next week was Disney week so you know I'm a big Disney fan as well and I had to do half of my rehearsals for Disney week on my terrace like I was literally learning the walt The Viennese waltz on my terrace via Zoom, because I still wasn't cleared to, like, be in L.A. in the ballroom.

That is more impressive because I was like, you still made it to, like, the finale, didn't you? Yep, I did. I grew up dancing. You did some dance growing up, too, right? Yeah, I was a commercial dancer for four or five years. Right, right. And so it's like, even learning the Viennese waltz in studio was almost impossible and so challenging. So to learn it on your little terrace over Zoom and still, like, make it to where you did that.

That's pretty cool. That's like a win. And when you make it to the finale, you've made it to the end anyway. So, you know, it's just a cheap little trophy. No, I'm just kidding. I'm like obsessed with it. And I've read it everywhere. It's whatever.

You made it to the end. I always remember when I wrote in the book, I was like, listen, by the time I got to the finale, I was like, we're all getting paid the same amount of money. So it doesn't matter. If I go home, like, if I don't win or don't win, I'm just ready to go home back to New York can be in my own bed. I know. That was the craziest thing afterwards, like being done and because you're used to going into studio every single day, especially with the COVID testing and everything that you had to go through. And then all of a sudden, it's just like this abrupt finish. And then it's like the

best feeling in the world. But then did you miss it after like a certain amount of time? No, I did it. Like I was like, I'm so glad this is over. I loved it. But I was just like, okay, wrapped it up in a bow. Time to go. That's fair enough. That's fair enough. Are you in New York right now? I am. I'm in my apartment in Williamsburg. Is it New York Fashion Week right now? Yes, it is. It's also like the U.S. Open. I have been invited to fashion meet parties, but I have with the book tour coming up, like I need to be in bed at a decent time and get my rest and chill out. So no drinking and dancing for me for a while. Oh, goodness. It is a grind doing like a book tour. It's a grind to even write a book. I mean, congratulations on that because even if you have people helping you, it is such a grind. journey and not only to just have your head down and be writing this book every single day and put all your time and effort and energy into it, but you're reliving things that you've gone through

in your life and like going back and like really putting yourself mentally in the position of like your childlike self and what you've been through. And I feel like that can be super exhausting and rewarding against kind of like dancing with the stars, but more like maybe a little more traumatic. I don't know. How is that process for you? Um, I, you know, it's super cathartic, it's super vulnerable, but like you said, in like a heart, like a challenging way and like a sticky kind of way, but also in a really lighthearted fun way because you get to, like you said, it's almost like a little Disney World ride through the timeline of Cody Rigsby because you like go back and you're just like, oh my God, that happened and that happened and that happened. And you just

kind of relive these memories. And in a way, some of it's therapeutic because you get to let some of it go again and also remind yourself that the things that were hard don't affect you anymore, which I think is such a sign of healing and growth and evolution. And then you get to celebrate the wins in life as well and reflect on those and it brings a lot of joy. And it gives you a lot of perspective because, you know, when you think back 36 years and I'm, and I, I know what my beginnings were dealing with like, you know, homelessness, you know, two parents that were addicts, all of that. And then recognizing that now I'm here. I've been on with the stars. My face was on a yogurt bottle. I'm writing a book. Like, you know, it's like

really cool shit. And I'm like, oh, awesome. Like I've done pretty well for myself and I'm proud of that. You should be. Isn't it fun to have that perspective and go, oh, everything that shaped me brought me to where like I've arrived at the place I'm supposed to be. And now I see, like, obviously the benefit of hindsight. It's just like such a beautiful perspective to be able to appreciate everything that you've gone through in your life and celebrate where you're at now. And so the book was inspired from your XOXO Cody series that you, you did that on the Peloton bike, right? Yes, absolutely. So it's been a ride. It's been a signature series for me at Peloton for about three years now. We did the first four February of 2020 right before the

pandemic. And it was like really successful. And so we took that format of, you know, having people send in their questions about relationships and self-love and like infuse that into the book. So, you know, the book is really like half memoir, a quarter relationship advice, a quarter life advice. And, you know, at the same time, it's vulnerable, but we balance it out with a lot of levity, a lot of humor, a lot of silliness, a lot of stupidness. And yeah, that's kind of where the genesis of this book came from. You little Gemini, you, that sounds like a book I would Right, too. Like some chapters would be so deep and then other chapters I'd be like making fart jokes. And then other chapters, I'd be like, that's so us. I feel like sometimes I'm a broken record just telling you guys how I'm always busy.

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but how did you decide what aspects of your life you wanted to share? Where did you even begin? Because I can imagine that would be, like we said, an emotional process too. Yeah. You know, I think I just tried to find the cornerstones of like where I really felt like what made me, what my foundation was and what parts of my story were really, I don't know, interesting and important. And, you know, I think as far as like my career goes, I think people don't realize like I was like a commercial dancer before. And I also was like a really big hustler in New York City like cater waiting and working at bars and doing odd-end jobs. And really that Peloton was a fault. like thrown into my lap as in a space of like luck and chance but that honestly I did a lot of work and had the foundation ready for that opportunity which I think is is really the best equation for success is like luck plus hard work and then you kind of like get there um a lot of people in my rides you know I talk about my mom Cindy a lot and growing up and how much fun we had, and that is so true of our relationship, but I think also peeling back the curtain and

kind of showing some of the hardship of, you know, being from a single parent, my father dying really young, and my mom also dealing with addiction issues and overcoming that, but also seeing a lot of that face-to-face as a child. And I think I want to share a lot of story about my mom because for a while, I think I held on to a lot of resentment. I think there's a lot of people out there who have complicated relationships with their parents, good or bad. And I really wanted to show how I went into that, the resentment that I had, I went into it face-to-face and overcame it and let it go so that I could have a good relationship with my mom and just cherish what we have left. Yeah, it's so important. Everyone that's listened to this podcast knows that I've done

Hoffman, which is inner child work. And I was thinking about that with your book, just like how even writing the book would be doing some inner child work. Have you ever done any exercises like that to be able to unpack it all? Or are you really able to do the healing on your own? Oh, no, no, no. I need a ton of help. I mean, I've been going to therapy for seven years. And I think that's, it's so funny. When you start going to therapy, you really understand that most of your toxic behaviors or the things that you're still holding on to are so related to your childhood and things that you needed when you were a kid. and the way that you were treated as a kid that just have not been let go or healed. And so that's where that light bulb went off in my head.

And then I read about it in the book also. I'm a meditation coach and I did a certification. And part of that certification was a week-long silent meditation retreat, which was also one of the hardest things I've ever done. Wow. It was super cool. I felt almost like a little Jedi, but that's for another day. And I remember one of those meditations really focusing.

on speaking to your inner child and recognizing that the people who took care of you are the reason that you're here, no matter how perfect or imperfect it was, they fed you, they clothed you, they took care of you. Yes, it was super flawed, but the reason that you're here is because of their really imperfect love and they're literally doing the best that they could. And that was really healing for me as well. Yeah, no kidding. I just talked to my therapist about this like two days ago about the programming that you have in your brain from growing up. It's like what you see, what you know, it's all you know as a child and you're literally wired and programmed to think and feel and be a certain way and to undo that or to maybe you don't even have to undo everything, but to

evolve from it and grow from it and be like a more healthier version of yourself. You have to unlearn so many things, which is so hard to do. And again, because you are programmed that way. It's so impressive now that you're just like, well, I became like famous from Peloton and went on Dancing with the Stars. I'm writing this book. Like, it's just so cool. It's so cool that you can like appreciate all that and celebrate yourself. But just so many stories that you have, too, I feel like you've lived so many lives, which I feel the same way. I feel like we're very similar in certain ways.

Not only just Gemini's, but like we both knew we were going to like do something bigger or like be somebody. Like even if that sounds cocky to people, like you just have this gut feeling. and just like things that you write about you're like this feels like it's out of a movie like some of the stuff you've been through like I don't know why this one really hit me but the cat jumping out of the window like that would have really sent me

into another dimension of like I really feel for the cat but you're just like you know what enough is enough like what else can happen that's like one story that I've like thought of my entire life and me and my mom joke about it all the time and I remember in that moment

like we're moving across the country my mom's the car's AC broke we had to let the cat and the dog out of the out of the like you know crate because they get some air and this bitch just shoot this cat was like y'all i can't take it anymore i'm out and as i look to my right shoulder this bitch is flying out of the out of the window hits the median rolls and just keeps running and it almost was a little offensive i was just like wow it was that bad like we fed you took care of you and you could have taken it anymore? Wow. That's so funny. Katz, just like, she was like, I'm out. This is, yeah, enough's enough. You're like, should I join you or am I? Pull over, mom, let's go.

I can't do this anymore. Oh my gosh. I mean, that story would stick with me too. But like, I think your story also will help so many people find, you know, a little bit of light and humor out of situations or hope to, you know, they can get through it. then you can be successful and do what you still love to do even from coming from like a hard life. But I mean, on top of it all, I love your take on coming out because I know a lot of people say, like, why do people have to come out? And I always think in my brain, like, I would love

there to be a time where it's like it doesn't even have to be a thing. But in the book, you get into this. And I really love your perspective about, you know, it's like empowering and accepting a part of yourself that felt shame and discomfort. So can you talk about that a little bit and how you talk about that in your book? Yeah, like, I think within the queer community, there's been a little bit of a discourse of, like, some people, like my friend Carama Brown and Janelle Monet is also someone that's talked about this of like, instead of coming out, it's more so like inviting people in. This is who I am. And I don't need to come out to you, but I will let you in if you're kind of worthy of that space. And I completely respect that and understand that. I just think that

my coming out was just really impactful for me. It was a space to kind of like let go of shame, let go of guilt, really, like, love myself for who I am as a gay person. We grow up and we're constantly told that we're wrong or that we're too effeminate or too girly, or we dress too wrong, we listen to the wrong music, and we're constantly being judged and then also self-censoring ourselves from what we say, what we do so that we could fit in. And I think with coming out, you're just like, you're telling the world who you are. You're empowering yourself to own those sort of things. and the things that we got made fun of being super gay now is like your superpower, you're going to be flamboy, you're going to paint your nails, you're going to listen to Britney Spears, you're going to own it, and you're going to show the world who you are. And I think that that itself also inspires younger people or just people who haven't accepted themselves to do the same. And so it has this kind of viral domino effect of like people watching someone else live their truth, be gay as hell.

be trans as hell, be lesbian as hell. Like, you know, like they see that and they feel like, oh, I can do it too. So, you know, I think we've come a long way with gay rights in a way and things as a culture. But I think that having that sense of pride and that ownership is important because there's still a lot of people who are scared and might need encouragement or might need to see themselves in somebody else's actions. Yeah, I love that. And it is. It's like almost like it was always weaponized against you. And I feel like there's so many people that don't feel accepted. Like, even sometimes being a woman feels like you can't do anything right. And especially in the public eyes. So it's, I love that you also have a platform where you're able to share that and

encourage others and inspire others because I love the celebrations, the pride. I'm just like, yes, I love it all. It's like the women marches. Like, you know, it's like your time to celebrate and stand in who you are and celebrate it and encourage others to do the same. And I think that can, like, said go for so many other things too like being the super gay or being a woman or being like just who you are and it's so hard because you have this good duality of standing in your truth and being who you are and like being proud of it but also not taking your life too which i love that the book is really about that too and and i love how in the book you say like the reality is we're all just sitting here on a rock in a solar system inside another solar system and we don't know shit about what else is out there we don't know shit and this might just be a simulation and i think about that all the time. But sometimes I feel like I've smoked weed or something because my brain just goes like to this other place of trying to understand what this world is. But I mean, they just discovered non-human remains and people aren't even like batting and I. I don't know. It's curiosity about the universe dead. No, I think that's a really good question. I just like

I feel like my time, our time is so limited. And like I don't that, not that I don't care, but I'm just like, y'all, whatever. Like I'm just trying to live my life. and if the aliens do come, like, either beam me up or, like, leave us alone. I don't know. Like, I'm not trying to fly to another planet and figure out a new life. Like, I'm good here. Hinge, okay? Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted.

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And like, the older you get, the quicker it goes. Like, you're just like, I'm like, how is summer? It's like summer's over. We're going to the fall. It'll be Christmas, you know. Two days from now, it just flies by. I know that's probably what like our parents have always been saying, but it's like, terrifying. I've gotten that place from I'm just like, wow, it's zooming by. Yeah, it's freaky. It like it actually freaks me out. I think about it all the time. And it's

so funny too, because I feel like we're also living in this world where it's like, go, go, go and do this and do that, but you want time to slow down, but we're speeding everything up. So it's like, I'll sit in my day and I hate the time, three o'clock. I don't know why. It's like this weird time for me where I'm just like, God, I hate the three o'clock hour. And I'm just like, why don't I take that time to slow down and go, I have nothing from, you know, three to five is usually like a dull time in my days. So why don't I like read, go for a walk, like slow down time? Because I feel like I'm always just waiting for it to be dinner or I'm waiting for it to be bedtime or I'm waiting for like, okay, got to wake up and then I'm waiting for the next appointment. And it's like, I feel like that's another reason time goes by so fast. But I also think we're living in the matrix and there's a glitch in the system or something. I don't know. I have the same sort of guilt where I'm like, I'm doing so much and I'm so grateful for it. But a lot of time, I do want to just like slow down and have my own time and be able to save her life. And I'm hoping to create, I guess for me, it's like I'm like so many opportunities are coming. So I feel like I need to take them because I don't know if they're ever going to, you know,

come again. But I think I'm also realizing I'm just like at a certain point, you got to slow down. You got to savor. You got to enjoy it because life is not all. all about working and making money and success and all these sort of things. So I really resonate with I really resonate with that. I know. But then as soon as you slow down, you're like, I'm not doing enough. And then it's just like, why are we the way we are? The cycle. The cycle. It's a cycle. But I mean, I do like not taking it so seriously because you realize that life is so short. But how do you remind yourself of this? Like when like when shit gets dicey or you lose sight of like your true self or you're in these moments of doubt, like how do you remind yourself?

that life is short and that we don't have to take everything so seriously. I think I typically, like, get really overwhelmed at times and kind of sensory overload. So if something is, like, happening and I, in a way, it can feel like it's the most urgent thing in the world. And sometimes I just like, I feel like, you know that meme of the dog in the fire? No, I hate it, though. Like where he's, like, sitting there and he's like, oh, no, it's like a cartoon dog. And there's, like, fire all around him. And he's like, this is, everything's okay, like, or something like it's just like I feel like that dog sometimes where you have to just like kind of sit there and be like

everything is okay like don't get engulfed by the by the chaos and just try not to I try to respond which takes a little bit of more thinking and reflection than to react I feel like when we react we like give into the chaos and so therefore we like let it get us um and then in that space I feel like I remind myself like it's not that deep it's not that deep it's not that deep like whatever is going on right now, it's not that deep. So take a moment, respond, breathe. And honestly, I just try to connect with my friends and find a lot of fun throughout my week because if you don't have fun, if you're not connecting with people that you love, you are isolating yourself and you are doing yourself a disservice of like reminding yourself of how joyful and happy life

can be. So that's kind of like my motto or like my formula when it comes to like just not taking life so seriously. It's true because there are so many, you know, there are serious things that can happen, but the things that we tend to dwell on and overthink aren't that serious. So it's like save that energy for if something really bad happens and something really serious does happen. Otherwise, I love, and I think I've said this on the podcast before, but like this zoom out theory of like just zooming out and then zooming out again and just seeing how small that moment is. I have a hard time of that because I react like really quickly with emotion and I'm like really trying to work on that. But I don't know. I feel like that probably helps you in so many

areas of your life, whether it's friendships, social media even. Like when people are taking you so seriously on social media and probably either bullying or making judgments or anything, do you let those opinions affect you? Or are you also able to be like, it's not that deep? I think it's a mix. Most of the time, like I can deal with I don't know if people don't like my class or they think I'm annoying or they think I'm you know my opinions are wrong like that stuff I'm just like whatever like it's not that is you can you can have your opinions that's not going to affect me I can stand in my truth um I think when I think when like my words are twisted or people take what I say and bend it the wrong way or they let it fit whatever narrative they have in their head about

what that means if they talk about like my work ethic or you know there's been a little bit of homophobia some here here and there and like that can kind of bother me and sometimes you just got to sit with that discomfort and let it pass and do your best not to engage even like looking at that sort of those remarks and I think after time it kind of just passes and like anything hard or anything that's hurtful you kind of just like okay it's that's past me I'm gone I I I can move forward. I think that is an important thought that I even need to remember, like, just how fast things pass. I remember someone telling me about the Barbie movie where it's like men hate women and women

hate women. Like, it's so hard. And I feel like I get so much, a lot of love, obviously, and a lot of hate from other women on social media. And I get so upset over some things. And I can let other things go, like kind of like you. I can be like, whatever, that doesn't bother me. But some things where women are just like, it's almost like I get.

frustrated for them because I'm like, what life are you living that you need to hate me? But I need to remember that I literally in two days I'll be like, okay, well, now I'm going to make a podcast out of it and jokes on you because that's like good content for me. And I'm going to like, I'm going to get a professional to speak on this and I'm going to learn from it. And hopefully you and your hateful mind listens to my podcast anyways and maybe you can learn something from it. But at such a moment that's going to pass. And I always thought that like even with breaking up in a public eye and, oh, it's a second failed engagement and all of the stuff. It's like, yeah, but then, you know, someone bigger like Sophie and Joe Jonas get divorced and

it's just another couple and it's another headline. It's another face and everything passes and it's all about like, again, what you are doing for yourself that makes you happy. What actually makes your heart happy is being single right now and feeling like, you know, who wants to live a life in a relationship for other people? Like, you have to do what's best for you. Oh, absolutely. No, you can't do anything for anybody else. Yeah, you're going to, you can't be miserable just because you're afraid of what people are going to think. What people are thinking is always just mostly a reflection. So those people that are like upset with me, I'm like, you're probably stuck in your miserable marriage and you're like jealous that I was brave enough to like have respect for somebody and leave in a healthy way and then like not talk shit about them and go live my truth. Like I it's, you know, it's always such a reflection. So you're really. inspiring when it's like, you know, truly loving yourself and being authentic. And I think like some people when I said I was podcasting with you, they wanted to know what your words

of encouragement would be for somebody who is either feeling discomfort, shame doesn't love themselves. Like what advice do you have? Well, I think A, like shame is such a root of and blockage towards self-love. Like when we let the shame and guilt like we hold on to it and we let it we like let it fester and I think that there was a great word that you said like discomfort I think that we need to lean into the discomfort instead of pushing it away I think a lot of the times like if we feel shame or we feel uncomfortable about what's going on our lives we tend to distract or run away or do something else so we don't have to think about it so we don't have to feel it and I think when we like slow ourselves down and we sit there with it

and we let it kind of move through our bodies and we feel uncomfortable, it has time to pass. We have more time to be aware of it. We have more time to understand it and accept it. And then when we kind of build awareness and accept it, we don't let the shame, like, hold on. And we don't let those negative thoughts have a lot of power. And so I think a really big form of self-love is getting uncomfortable, is doing a lot of work and understanding, like, why we do certain things. And I think, I always think it, like, Jess King, another Peloton instructor told me about the, like, and I don't know the science around it, but just love her.

But she essentially said, like, you know, kids, they have these, like, young kids, they have these emotions that they don't know what to do with. So, you know, and obviously it's like ice cream spilled and I'm just upset about that. And like, they don't know how to, like, they don't know how to resolve it. They don't know how to express it. And so they kind of throw these temper tantrums. And, you know, I don't have kids. but I'm sure temper tantrums last longer than we want them to, parents want them to. But at a certain point, the kid tires out.

The frustration and the emotion gets out of the body. And so sometimes you have to think of, you have to parent your inner child and realize the emotions that you have, you might not be able to control right now, but you got to just let them pass and you got to have your own little temper tantrum. And I don't mean that in like being toxic towards other people or being reactionary. Like, I mean, just like literally sitting yourself in a corner and letting yourself feel the feelings and letting it pass through you and letting that happen. And I think you can find a lot of like solace. I think that a lot of that I've reflected on that. And it's made so much sense to me of like, oh yeah, like I can be sad or angry. And sometimes I just need to sit by myself and deal with it on my own and breathe. And it does go away. You know, like at a certain point it goes away. I just got like teary eyed because I'm like, that is so true because I feel like that was such great advice. because so many people either numb or work or have a nap or like do something to bury those feelings down. And you're right. That thought of like a child moves through those feelings because

they don't know anything else. So they just they get it out, which is clearly what a human is supposed to do. Your body knows to get out the emotion. So when you can do it in a way where you as an adult and say, okay, I have to move through these emotions like I would if I were a child where I'm like I can put myself in a corner. I can go cry in the shower. I can go let out these emotions and not bury them because how many times after do you feel better after a cry or a like a little tantrum with yourself or even like letting out, letting out frustration in through working out or certain things that really let it be able to release from your body is so important. And like a lot of times when people say don't go to bed mad. I actually. prefer to, I'll go have like a shower and cry it out and go to bed because usually after that I'm better anyways, like, unless it's a serious, obviously thing that you need to talk through. But like if it's something small, going to bed mad actually makes me get over it because I wake up in the morning. I'm like, it's a new day. That was stupid. You know, like, I like, I like it. I'm glad

I could share that. Go to bed pissed. Yeah, that was really, I really like that thought. I feel like that's going to help me and probably a lot of people that are listening to. Okay. So let's just switch gears to pop culture because I feel like you are good at this and I like to learn and I like I always just, you know, I'll scroll and see things, but I'm always like, I can't keep up. Did you see that the Jimmy Fallon show is going through allegations? Do you know anything about this? I just saw it today. I mean, I just saw it today as well. And like, I don't, I don't really know all of the story.

Yeah, me either. Like, no, there's nothing against Jimmy, but I, I could see it. And only from this place of a little bit of compassion of like, this man has been working for far too long. I mean, I don't know what it's like to be under the public eye and be constantly working like any of these big personalities do and own a show and it be all on you. And so if you're not taking time of yourself,

if you're not, if you're not, you know, letting go of whatever's going on in your space, it's going to come out and you're going to be hurtful towards other people. I'm not excusing it. I'm just saying like it could make sense. We don't know all the information. I'm barely like barely read a headline. So, you know, it kind of sucks. I hate when people treat other people badly. I really don't like that. Well, because I always try and think about myself and my team and how I treat people. And I if I'm, you know, moody or grumpy or I'm having a bad day or something's happened to me. Like I know you're supposed to like leave that and, you know, show up and be. professional and work. But sometimes that spills over and you're human and that happens. And again, like, I don't know that we obviously don't know the stories of the other people. So it's like it's not an excuse and you can't do that, but it happens. And then it's like, I wish it could be dealt with in such another way than just to like thrown out to the media

because I feel like the media takes it for like, oh, this people are going to, it's just clickable stuff where it could be actually a much more serious matter that could be dealt with privately. and more, like, get more out of it that way. But I always feel bad in these situations because, again, you never just know full stories. You never know other people's sides. You don't want to diminish somebody's, like, experience as a victim. And you don't want to, like, just throw shade because the headlines said this. So, yeah, that's a tough one.

But what about Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner getting divorced after years of marriage? I have a thought because she was in the industry for, I'm, like, already giving it to. Um, she's been like in the, you know, workspace, like a Game of Thrones and all that from such a young age. And that's like all she knew. And now she's all of a sudden a mother of two kids. And like, you know, I just feel like she's probably, I don't know what happened. But, um, also I was hoping maybe did you know anything more? Like did something? Did he do something? Did she do something? Or do we know? I think I've kept, I feel like they've kept most of that under wraps. Uh, I mean, whether they've been the other since like eight years, 2016 or something like that. It's been a long time. Yeah. I mean. I I mean, I've never been, I've never been in a relationship with someone for eight years. And I, you know, even in my own, my own current relationship, like, we've been together for five. We took, you know, we broke up for a little bit. We got back together. A lot can happen in eight years.

And it's, you know, it's sad. But at the same time, like, you know this. You got to do what you got to do for yourself. Hopefully they're, you know, going to be great co-parents. And let's be honest, Joe is the hottest Jonas brother. and now there's someone else on the market. You know, there's a new haughty on the market. And Sophie's also beautiful, you know.

Yes. But, you know, a new Jonas is on the market at some point. And so ladies get ready, you know. That's true. Have you been to Burning Man before? I have not. It's not for me. I'm not spending a week of my vacation to go roll around the dirt and be, like, uncomfortable.

I'm sure it's a beautiful experience. Everyone that's gone says it's amazing. I it's just not it's not for me um and with the whole mud debacle I you know I have friends that have gone that were going this year and I do feel bad but I did have a little a little bit of a little bit of a laugh at it I will be honest it was giving like fire festival 2.0 you know like yeah I was the same way I was like and this is why I don't go to these things I and again I know it's a beautiful experience but it's good for you not for me and that's my motto um and then the last Last one, because we have to talk about it. Brittany and Sam divorce. Is her book coming out? What is happening there? Didn't she write a book?

I think I have, she has a book. I think it comes out in October. I think I pre-ordered it on Amazon. I'm pretty sure I did. I love how Brittany was like, I'm not showing up. Like, y'all going to use a picture from 20 years ago. Like, she's phoning it all the way. But I respect her for that. She's given us enough. I'm a little bit. I really. I guess I was, like, really rooting for them. I thought that he was a good guy. I thought that they, you know, I thought he was pretty understanding, especially, like, especially when people would be coming for her being like, oh, you need to take her a phone away. She's doing crazy stuff on the internet. And he's like, listen, guys, she was in a conservatorship for 10 years.

I'm not going to tell this woman who just got her freedom what or what to do or not to do on her own phone. And so I had a lot of respect for that. Listen, at the same time, like, this man is. He was probably kind of broke before he met her, and now he's going to probably fight tooth and nail to not be like the general manager to smoothie king next month. So, you know, like, I don't, I don't, I don't blame him for trying to get his money, but it is a little dirty, you know? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I hear you on that. I don't blame him, but also, like, I'micked out by him at the same time. Yeah, no, yeah. Like, you sign the pre-up. You know what you were getting into. Especially I think we're protective. We're protective of Brittany because everyone's tried to take her money, K-Fed, her dad, her mom, her sister.

It's like, let this woman have her money and leave her alone. But yeah, it sucks. We love you, Brittany. We love you, Brittany. Oh, God. And last but not least, I need you to give me your best confession. Oh, my God. I forgot.

I totally forgot that we were going to. that we were going to talk about this. Confess. And I, this one's like, this one is, this one is trashy. You have one? Yeah, this one's trashy. But it's kind of like, we're open books and like I can accept my mistakes. I'm not proud of this moment.

But I was thinking, because we're doing a lot of, I was recently for the book tour, especially we're having a Peloton event. So I was asking my fellow instructors for bad dating stories or just like, you know, funny dating stories. And so I was thinking of mine. And it was when I was like 19. I was here in New York for the summer, and I went to this club called Splash, and I met this guy, and I ended up going home with him that night. We fooled around, and the next morning I had to be at work.

Like, I had to be at work really early, and I don't know if you've ever tried to take the subway late night in New York City. It's not fun. This man fell asleep, and there was $40 on his nightstand, and I definitely took it to get myself a cab because I was so. fucking broke i'm not proud of it but i it is true and i you know i've learned i'm better but it was trashy did karma get you like did the at some point i'm sure karma got my ass that happened to me i i have a similar story where this guy like i was 18 18 was the legal drinking age where i grew up and i was at a bar when i was 18 oh really uh-huh and he was looking away and there was a $100 bill and I took it and left and I went to go buy hot dogs outside of the bar

and something happened where I lost the $100 bill and couldn't find it and then somebody stole my purse two days later and I was like you know what karma karma can happen 10 years from now can happen two days from now but you just can't pull shit like that she's always going to get you she's always going to get you yeah always going to get you uh it was So good talking to you. I love you. And I want everybody to buy your book. So tell everybody where they can get at. Right here. XOXO. Cody. An opinionated homosexuals guide to self-love relationships and tactful pettiness. It's available September 12th. So order it. Go to your bookstore. Get it. I'm on tour. So if you want to catch me on tour, come see me. Fun. Yeah, we've got like 10 stops

over the next like three weeks. So are you coming to Nashville? I'm not. I'm not. But maybe if we add some stops we can but uh we're going to austin we're going to la uh reese those are some add-ons that we just did so i'm excited and uh you know taylin thanks so much for having me it's been a pleasure catching up good to see you baby yes it's so good to see you i see you a lot on my app but um and where people for them to see what cities you're coming to is it on your like instagram like link tree or whatever yeah just go to the link yeah it's a link tree on my instagram profile and all the dates are there okay amazing Okay, love you. Have such a good day. Congratulations on everything.

Thank you, Boo. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. See your next Tuesday. Um, don't you mean our podcast? Uh, yeah, I guess I do. Anyhow, listen to Salty with Catherine Lee, co-hosted by my assistant, Sam. And we will be talking about the latest pop culture news and all the gossip every week. So does this mean we have to talk by ourselves, about ourselves, or can at least have some guests on?

I don't know, I find myself pretty interesting, but yeah, we can have some guests on some of our reality TV friends. and some stars works for me listen to salty now on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts see what hit blockbusters are streaming free this month during popcorn summer movies on pluto tv watch action-packed movies like charlie's angels and comedies like how to lose a guy in ten days or enjoy school of rock and the adventures of tinton with the whole family plus pluto tv has thousands of other free movies available on live and on demand download pluto tv on all your favorite devices for free and start streaming now