Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Colton Underwood | Secrets From Hosting Hulu’s “Are You My First?”

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

#871. Did you know Colton Underwood and Kaitlyn are cohosting a brand-new Hulu dating show, Are You My First? Now that the season is out, they can finally spill all the tea — and this is the convo Colton was most nervous for… because when they sit down together, things get way too comfortable ;)We cover it all — their totally different journeys with love and sex, how Colton finally lost his virginity, and the guilt, confusion, and shame he carried while trying to convince himself he was straight. He opens up about faith, coming out, and what life looks like now — married, starting a family, and finally living as his best self.But don’t worry, it’s not all serious! They spill behind-the-scenes tea from filming on a tropical island (think lightning strikes & jellyfish attacks), dish on cast secrets, and even debate who was really a virgin. Plus — reunion plans? A lie detector for season 2? Hit play for laughs, honesty, and stories you won’t hear anywhere else.If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals!Audible: Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at Audible.com/vine.Figs: If you're in healthcare—or shopping for someone who is—you can get 15% off your first order at wearfigs.com with the code FIGSRX.Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.Lady World: Come Join me for a fun weekend! Get your tickets now at LadyWorld.COEPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (10:08) – Colton gets real about losing his virginity, the guilt, the shame, and the wild mental gymnastics he did trying to convince himself he was straight.(29:07) – Who from Are You My First? could survive Bachelor in Paradise.(32:50) – Tropics gone wild: lightning strikes, storms, and a jellyfish coming straight for Kaitlyn.(39:30) –Colton shares what it’s like now — married, building a family, and finally living as his authentic self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Hey, Vino's, real quick, if you are listening right now, which obviously you are or you wouldn't be hearing this, can you hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're on? please that one simple thing helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast and making these episodes the best they can possibly be obviously for you that's the only favorite I'm going to ever ask okay it truly means the world to me thank you now let's get into it hey everybody welcome back to off the vine I'm your host Caitlin Bristow sitting down with my co-host Colton Underwood isn't that funny yeah you're my co-host in real life not of this but co-host of

are you my first the co-host of are you my first where we assembled 21 of the hottest, horniest versions. And they all, well, some of them found love. Some of them found self-love. And some of them found their first. And some of them found their first. So it is streaming now on Hulu. We are very proud of it.

It's on Disney Plus for my Canadians out there. It was just like a nice dating. I want to call it experience or experiment because we talk about this a lot. But the fact that they all came in with the same common ground. You know, I think a lot of times that Colton can attest to this, that he was on a show like The Bachelor, where you have to have a one-on-one date to sit down and talk about being a virgin. Then you watch them shift into like, oh, God, this is a responsibility. It makes it a big thing. Yeah.

And people feel a lot of shame around their sexuality. Totally. Yeah. Safe space. Yeah. So this was like a safe space for them. It was really an important, fun, beautiful journey. Again, it's called Are You My First?

And we talk all about that show behind the scenes. and what else do we talk about? Fertility. We talk fertility, faith. Toads. Toads. Wiki feet. I'm laughing, but we really did.

We covered a lot of ground. Yeah, let's just say that. We covered a lot of ground in today's episode and we hope you would do it. Well, this is fun. This is so much fun. I feel like you and I have been doing the rounds for media and to sit here now and talking about it. I'm like, I'm going to ask you the same questions.

I know, but I'm the most nervous about this one because we're too comfortable with each other. I know. I'm like, oh gosh, this is going to get... Yeah, it could get weird. It could get messy and weird, but... Messy and weird. But that's what we do on Off the Vine podcast. It's not a podcast with me if it's not messy and weird.

For sure. And you are also, by the way, I think one of my very first podcasts after my Bachelorette season. Yeah. And I remember it was so interesting because obviously you have PR with you from the show, so you aren't allowed to say certain things. But I feel like they let you kind of say what you want. Yeah, because they also... I also knew you would, you know, protect a little bit.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. I was just doing the Girls' Gotta Eat podcast. Yeah. And, you know, they're like all about sex and raunch and all this stuff. And I love them. They're so funny. But it really does just bring out this side of me where I'm like, okay, real it in, Caitlin.

I was like talking about my first, of course, because we're here to talk about the show. Are you my first? And they're like, what was your first like? And we've talked about this so many times now in interviews. And I was like telling them how terrible it was. And then they were all like, yeah, our guys first, like, we all had big. like dicks. And I was like, wait, mine was two. And I was like, it did not tickle. You're like hot. We're all talking about like our first big dick. So funny. Okay. So we'll

start with the obvious. Our experiences with love and sex are very different. Are they? Just a little. Just a little. A little bit. So hosting this show together kind of puts that front and center in the best way. Yes. I agree. And I think I mean like we can talk about it here. But like when we did our chemistry like test together. Yeah. I was like, oh, this is it. Yeah. Like this is, it just works. It's ying and yang. It's just this compatibility that was so effortless.

Yeah. And that was the other thing, too, is like, as hosted the show, you need somebody you feel comfortable with because if you forget your lines or you needed to say something or like somebody was better suited, we picked each other up really well. We really did. Yeah. Yeah, we did. It was so, it was so funny because I don't think I realized that I was doing a chemistry test with you. Like, I think I just thought I had the gig and I was just meeting everybody. You and you, that's where we're similar.

We're both manifesters. Yeah. Like, I'm going to walk into this is already my thing. Yeah. And I think that's, it's the confidence thing of like, fake it till you make it. And it's like, it's not really fake it till you make it. But it's more so just like, you know your worth. You know your, like, your passion.

Go in with that delusional confidence. Yeah. Yeah. I loved it. Which is so funny because I got off the call. You called me and you're like, that was amazing. You're like, yeah, there's a few other people. I was like, what?

But I did say, I was like, you. I kept it very real with you. You did. It was like, it's like, that was by far the best. Well, it's so funny because it, we must have had good chemistry because I don't think they would have thought, like, let's put two Bachelor Nation people together for a new show. Totally. And it just, we had that good of chemistry and we jelled that hard, but they're like, there's no other option here. I know.

Which, which does, I mean, obviously the show is not about us. No. We are there to carry the show and be there for the cast and, and, you know, say the puns and all the voiceovers and stuff. Yeah. But it still matters. to have two hosts that have chemistry. Yeah, well, not only that, but I think, and not even to try to put us in the presence of Chris Harrison, but, like, we had the care that he had for sort of how he took people under

his wing. I think we naturally had that and, you know, we're very protective over this cast and we really want them to know, like, we're there for you pre during post, whatever it is, like, hit us up. Like, I've been pretty much just open book. If people ask me even for my number, I'm like, yeah, here it is. If you need to call me, call me. Same. And I learned that from Chris.

So, like, you have the same, that same heart that, like, I had wanting to come into this of, like, no better, do better. Like, this is, like, walking the walk of, like, what we've been through. Yeah. Except Chris is very particular about who he gives us number two and shares with. And we were like, everybody. I know. Come to us. Mom and dad.

Chris always has a good gut. He does. I mean, you notice that when you go to his wedding, you know? Oh, he keeps good people around. He does. Like everyone that was there, I was like, I would also invite you to my wedding. Yes. Yeah.

That was really nice. So what made you, I mean, I already know the answer to all these questions, but this is for the audience, obviously. What made you want to get involved with the show? It's just deeply personal. And it was a full circle moment. And I think also, I haven't talked about this much, but it was in a weird, selfish way, professionally, a way to reclaim my power. Of like, I didn't really have a lot of control when I was The Bachelor as my virginity storyline. it was a lot out of my hands and mainly because I didn't fully understand my virginity at that time.

So now I'm a lot more realized. I have done a lot of self work and I'm also in such a different phase of life than when I was when I was like first introduced to America as a virgin bachelor that I have this experience and knowledge and I obviously can articulate that more but then I also can help people. So I knew when I first heard of the project that I wanted to be a part of it, and I just needed to figure out, like, in what capacity? Like, what did that mean? And just it was a perfect season of my life to return to TV and be back in front of the camera. And it made a lot of sense. You really have done so much work on yourself. Like, even not that we spent all this time together, but just knowing you before and knowing you now, I do feel like you are your best version of yourself. For sure.

Yeah. Thank you. And you are too, by the way. I agree. We both are. Seasoned. We are seasoned. Seasoned.

Finally. Like, we're like fine meats that are just seasoned. We're seasoned, marinated meat. Yes. Absolutely. Did you find any challenges going into being a co-host or being a co-host? Did you find any challenges with it? Yeah.

I would be lying if I said, like, I had it down from day one. Like, there's a skill that goes into it. It's an active listening skill because you want to be present with the cast. You want to make them feel very comfortable. But we have a job to do, right? Like, we are moving people through the show. But you're also doing it. way like I wanted them to know like I'm not a robot here yeah of course I have to say certain

things because the structure of a show yeah we're making a TV show we have to have the flow and I need you to understand the rules of what in the concept of this show and like why this is different but I also remember and you did a good job of this too like we would have a certain outline of like okay here is like when you walk up this is where we want to go with it right and we would cross things out we would highlight things we'd swap lines like, okay, actually, I want, like, this challenge is more your speed. Yeah. Take this.

Like, you need to, like, lay the groundwork. And then you're really good at ad lipping, too. Yeah. We played really well off of each other with that. Whereas, like, you know, I think other people really want to stick to the script. Yeah. And I loved watching it back and seeing that, you know, because they could have cut those parts out, those little moments. But I thought it was sweet to add them in where we did just feel like real humans in the moment, too.

Yeah. Because we were. Totally. And we got to sort of sit there and commentate on the sidelines. I remember that during the painting challenge, like Katya, I was like, she's just painting everybody. I guess like she's crushing on the wall. I was like, I don't know if that was the point of this, but okay, good for you. Good for you.

Yeah. Or like during the cherry popping challenge when we were like, Noah is a Mormon and we were like, I wonder if they soak. And he turns around and he's like, that's not a real thing. I was like, oh, he could hear me. I was like, I forgot. Yeah, I forgot about that. But soaking, if you are a Mormon out there and you soak, I think it's brilliant. Also goes by the name of docking.

Oh. Docking and soaking are the same thing. I'm pretty sure. I thought docking was when you just put it like touching. Oh, soaking's fully in. Yeah. Docking is just like. Yeah. Just the tip maybe.

That would make sense. Not the same thing. But then, you know, there's a third that can come into the bedroom and just shake the bed. Yeah. That's a thing too. That seems like that's intercourse at that point. That's more than that. That's an orgy.

Yeah. Now you're inviting someone else into the bedroom. That's group sax at that point. Oh, geez. I'm going to ask because everybody else has, but what was your first time like? Oh, gosh. It was so, so complicated and confusing. I think that that is also the heart and depth of this show is to break that stereotype of like, your first should be loving. Oh, yeah. No. And like, you just have this vision, I think, when you're a virgin of like, this is how I'm going to lose it. And there's going to be like birds chirping. It's going to be this feeling. You and I have probably different emotions. after for different reasons but like I just felt so much shame and like confusion and the emotion

the emotional range that I felt from experiencing pleasure to then all of a sudden this deep shame to then I'm never going to do this again like what am I doing you did something wrong yes yes and I think like that's like something to normalize and like talk through too of like totally the confusion like even if I mean you were obviously confused for other reasons than me yeah I was confused because I, again, thought it was going to be this romantic thing and it was terrible and it was painful and I cried and I didn't want to do it again. I did feel shame, but it was more like, is that really how that first time was supposed to be? Should I have done it different? Should there have been candles? Like, I was like on my mom's couch. Like, I don't know. And it really was a terrifying, scary thing that. And then I talked to a couple of the girls from girls got to eat and one girl had a terrible experience. The other girl was like, mine was quite lovely. Like, it's just everybody has a different experience. But our ex- Expectations are always so high for what it's supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah.

So the confusion for you was what your sexuality was when you lost your virginity. The confusion and the guilt and the shame was just like, it just wasn't like, I didn't really know what was authentic. Yeah. I was confused because I was like really, really trying my hardest to be straight. But then like obviously when you fight you're authentic and most true self, like there's just. you lose yourself completely and then there's guilt and shame and all the these emotions that a lot of closeted men and women had to go through and like also there's I think what people don't realize too is like there is this thing that I did that a lot of gay men do and and I know this just because after my Netflix show came out they would say oh I did the same thing you can convince you the brain is so powerful so powerful so like I would convince myself you are straight you just have these physical desires and like I guess like that is my like I guess my temptation you know and then I was leaning heavily into my faith of like okay this is what this means and feels like but I was fully convincing myself that like yes I can go experience pleasure with men but I'm still a virgin I'm still waiting for my wife the longer I get into a relationship with a woman like will make me straighter yeah and a lot of closeted men and women go through that where they're like I just I will I will keep doubling tripling quadrupling down on this because like I don't want to to be gay. I know because I'm sure you had so many people that were upset with you

when you came out and that you were the bachelor and that all these women were there for you and you. But I actually see it as that was you convincing yourself. That was you having faith that God was putting these women in front of you to show you that you're straight. For sure. That you were like, I was even just talking to Amanda Knox about this, about the gaslighting you do to yourself to convince yourself like, no, you're not this. You're not this. And we do that all in so many different ways, but I'm sure it was like to the extreme with you. Yeah. Conversion therapy. Yeah. That's the thing that I realized after I came out and I realized this. I had so many people after I publicly came out coming out to me in different ways. It wasn't

just their sexuality. Yeah. Like I had friends coming, confiding in me about drug addictions and like other things that they were coming out with. I was like, oh, people are really, they have this internal battle going on in many different ways and for different things and different reasons but yeah i really truly the bachelor was in a weird way a big part of my conversion therapy of like i need to not be gay yeah yeah and it's also like exposure therapy they're like here are all these women and you're like i know gosh panic the gay panic the gay panic sets in hard my gosh yeah i think that's kind of the two of us having different experiences in our sexuality, in our life, in our dating world, but also having the

similarity in the same common ground. It's like being on the show, publicly dating, being shamed for being a virgin, being shamed for having sex. Like the point is, and we've said this, is that sex sells, whether you're having a lot of it or you're not having it. And to bring in a show about virginity is, it felt risky because you're like, I don't want this to be a mockery. I don't want to be making fun of virgins. But at the same time, it's like, let's help them find love. of and they all have these beautiful stories. But then you think of where's the line anyways? Because, oh, we're poking fun at virgins,

but we're also like sharing their beautiful stories and helping them on this self-discovery journey. Then you look at other dating shows and you're like, well, why aren't we criticizing that one? They're getting wasted and cheating on their person and like hooking up when the cameras are off. And like, you know, there's just no line of what's, there's no right or wrong in the dating world.

Right. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's you, that's something we talked about too. is like what where is that line and where does it get blurred and when does like it's such a fine line to walk of like men and women in our culture today want you to be experienced enough to not have whatever they want to call like baggage or um but the pressure of like it's like that's a little bit of a project right right like that but then you you also at the other time get shamed for being like hmm he or she's out there too much and like they i don't really know like how i feel about

that and there's like that judgment yeah like wait whoa whoa so you're saying i'm having too little and you're having too much that's the experience we brought to this and we're like let's take shame out of it yeah and that's what was cool with are my first is we gave them an environment that was shame free and but then also gave them permissions to explore yeah so that that's like the cool part even like with bachelor and bachelor you have permission to seek other relationships that and it's sort of all out in the open right yeah so like how you want to hand that how you want to communicate with your partners and like manage that is really up to you and like how different were you from the start of being the bachelor to the end of being the bachelor so i mean

i say this too like are you my first and bachelor and bachelor's is self-discovery it really just as much as it is dating yeah like you are figuring out your deal breakers your dues and don'ts how things feel in real time i'm like ooh i don't like that he just said that to me or she just said that to me. Oh gosh, that's like a new red flag that just popped up. And then you dig into the Y. Then you have to process it on camera in front of the world. Yeah. And then like people are like, well, you kept him too long. It's like, well, I was processing how that made me feel. Plus TV, you don't know what real time is there. I mean, that's the other thing is. You don't know what time it is, period. When you're doing that. Really. There was, yeah, there's so many people who surprised me

on the show of like just their growth from start to finish. And then I thought about it. And I'm like, well, of course. Like, you're literally talking about your feelings all day, every day. with, you know, producers are also like therapists because they're so easy to talk to and they've got, you know, everything that happens. And you don't have your phones and your devices. And you're so just like in your own world and it's all like it's, it's actually beautiful to be able to shut out all the outside noise, focus on your feelings. And then you come out of it and you're like, I just spent however many weeks diving into my whys of why I feel this way. What happened in my past to make me feel this way? Totally. What is my faith in this and how is it shaped who I am today? Like, you're literally talking about deep things every day. Yeah, but not just deep things, things, at least for me.

Life altering things. Yeah, and sort of trauma. Trauma, for sure. In front of the world. Yeah, for them to judge. Okay, I have been all about Audible lately, especially, I don't know why, but their romance collection. I love that no matter what mood I'm in, there's just always something that totally fits. And some days I'm just, you know, vibing with a little modern rom-com.

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I think for me, there was a few things, right? Like, there was a part of my virginity that holding on to, oh, gosh, this came up in therapy, actually, recently of it was sort of a defense mechanism because emotionally the guilt that I would feel for dating women when I was so unsure of my sexuality of like, yes, I can say in one breath of like, it was nice going further with women because it was sort of convinced me that I will become straight, but there was still a guilt even within that that I felt because I was so unsure of my sexuality. So it was easy to hide behind my virginity.

I'm like, I'm really sort of saving myself from marriage. And it's sort of just like delaying my coming out. Essentially was like that was sort of the game that I was playing with myself. Yeah. So there was a little bit of like my virginity being a layer of my defense mechanism with that. Yeah. And also I was just talking with somebody about this too. I'm not really good with sitting in emotions too long.

Yeah. Oh, me too. So I need to be distracted. Like my professional team knows this. Like, I'm a more is more type guy and I am that for many different reasons. But also, like, I can't sit still for very long. Yeah. Like sitting in uncomfortable feeling. It doesn't mean that I don't know how to process.

That's just how I process. So like... I mean, even just being aware of the fact that you don't like to sit in discomfort is already, you know... It comes up with Jordan too because Jordan loves sitting in his feelings. Really? processing. He loves meditating. If I meditated, I would be going nuts. I cannot do it. And he is so brilliant. I does three times a day. The thing that I'm good at is like call it ADD or whatever you want to call it. I will be working on something and like then something will pop up and I'll

write it in my notes. Write it down. So I'm still processing. I'm just processing while I'm doing something else. Yeah. I do the same thing. I do meditate though. And when I did hypnosis the other night, I couldn't believe how fast I dropped into a meditation. My aura ring said I was napping for 60 minutes and I was fully wide awake and aware of everything that was going on. Oh, my gosh. Isn't that cool? That's, so I have mixed feelings on aura rings.

Oh, I know. Can we go off on like a little side row? Please, please. It's so mental for me that if it told me like, for example, we're on a press tour right now that's sort of nuts. Like last night we wrapped at like nine. Yeah, and started at like 6 a.m. Yes.

If it told me that my sleep score was a 50 and I'm going to have. a shitty day. I'm going to go have a really shitty day. It told me that today. See, exactly. I don't want to see that. Do you learn it? No. I was like, I don't want to. I would wake up and be like, I am having a good day today. I am like not here for this energy. It does me up a little like that. I can't do that. Yeah. And that's why I don't, I used to have an Apple Watch. I bought my, my family all has oar rings. And I just don't. I can't do it. I do it because it does force me to watch what I'm eating before bed, drinking before bed. You know I've love wine and a gin martini and i'm like damn if i have this if i have that second glass

it's going to ruin my sleep score so i'll now not have the second glass yeah and then i'll sleep better and then i reward myself in the morning because i'm like good you feel good let's go work out look how good that was the other thing you should try to take is magnesium i do every night oh it's the pit so i used to take melatonin and i'd wake up oh groggy yeah i started taking magnesium yeah so good i love magnesium i do i take it every single night did you feel challenged talking about topics of sex or intimacy this time around or did you because like obviously these people are like I'm a man looking for a woman I'm a woman looking for a man did you find any challenges with that oh for sure I think for many different reasons one is because my husband is not the most

public person right so and the other layer now is when I do press and when I work I have a husband and a son yeah I have a family to protect in a way and I also like I my son's going to grow up and be able to see articles yeah pictures of him when he's born and like we post his face like and I think it's important that people have seen my journey being in a same sex relationship and like raising a family yeah but I'm conscious of the fact like he's going to read about his dad and now there's a line that I have to sort of walk where I like I am human and eventually he's going to have that experience where his dad isn't on a pedestal as he once was human his dad is human his dad. is a human his dad has had a life before um so that was a challenge for me is like how i wanted to handle this press and like i do still very much want to share with the world and like they are very much still on this journey with me but there are certain things now that i have boundaries and developing those and like having to have that to protect my piece my husband's piece my family's piece is is important yeah i think about that with an unborn child like i'm like i i

You know me, I'm a loose cannon and I'll say whatever the fuck I want to say. And sometimes I'm like, oops. And now the headlines that have come out from things I say, I'm like, my unborn child. They're going to read this one day. It's so hard, but it must be just 10 times more real when it's actually happening. Yeah, totally. And it's like, yeah, there's this whole journey that you'll go on to that is so beautiful. and also think, like, your mentality on how you want to handle your relationship is really good.

Yeah. I think it's self-aware. And it's just like, when you've been through, like, the pressures of the public in your business, you understand the value of privacy and, like, the value and the healthiness of it. And I think, like, that's something I'm really proud of you about. Oh, thank you. Because it is easy to lean into, especially when you're, like, a working woman. Oh, yeah, because I get more followers. You need more deals.

Yeah, exactly. It, like, is in your best interest to overshare professionally, but not personally. So you're sort of prioritizing right now in this phase of life as somebody who's a friend of yours is you're prioritizing your personal life over your professional, probably for the first time in a long time. Ever. Yeah. And I'm really proud of you for that. Thank you. It's not easy.

Thank you for saying that. I didn't ever, I didn't even clock that. Yeah. Thank you. Of course. Aw. Do you guys hear that? So sweet.

Just want to make sure everybody heard that. Okay. He's proud of me. I want to know what you think, the journey that we've been on with this cast. How is it going to resonate with the audience? Oh, I think this show is going to be really relatable. I think people are going to see, like, it's going to bring up emotions in them of, my first date was sort of like that or my first kiss was like that.

I mean, we have first kisses and first dates on this show. Or the time I was torn between these two girls or these two guys, like, it's going to put people back. their feelings. And not to say other shows can't do that, but not to say like it's completely different, but like there is a different layer here with Are You My First than there are with the other dating shows out there. That keeps like this innocent, sweet vibe through. Yeah, like, because even when it gets dramatic and messy, it's still kind of pure because you're like acknowledging that this is a lot of their firsts. And we've said this on so many interviews, but we'll say it here too, where on Bachelor and Bachelorette,

you get people like 25 to 30. They have been brokenhearted. They have had their love story. Some of them are divorced. Some have children. And then on Bachelor in Paradise, like you've already seen these people fall in love. You've already seen them break up.

You've already seen them make out. And then on shows like too hot to handle, it's like very sexual and it's like all about that. And then there's perfect match where it's this and you know, and I know that person from Bachelor. I know this person from the challenge. I know this person where this show not only. is it called are you my first? It's their first time on TV. I know. And there is something so

innocent about that. They're not here for fame. They didn't know how the show was going to do. They still don't know how it's going to do. They were literally there to be vulnerable and brave and find connections and find love. And there's something, especially in this day of how we live life on reality TV that is so pure about that. Yeah. This is their first. The stakes are higher. The emotions are higher. Like it's really cool to watch. We haven't talked about this, and I want to ask you a question. Ask me. Who do you think from the Are You My First Cast would be a good fit on Bachelor in Paradise?

Oh, Rachel, for sure. Okay. Because she's a hot commodity, and she's, you know me. I'm like a Rachel Stan. Like, I want to date her. I'm like, pick someone else, Caitlin. Even the initial reaction, by the way, of I've already seen this. I don't think I've seen it in, like, news yet, but I've seen it on social media.

people in the vaginismus community are really proud of her like there is I saw this I went down a rabbit hole because I also like want to educate myself on what there's this community I think it's called tight lips that she's like really

like it's been cool to see her like it was like this thing that I saw she reposted and I just like that too because I remember when I first came out with my virginity that was the thing too of like oh this is good for our community And like then now to see this with her, I'm really proud of her. I am too.

And I just think she would do so well on Paradise because she is so real in front of a camera. Yeah. Not that they, none of them, I think all of them were actually quite real in front of a camera. She was just, I feel like she really leaned in and was like proud of her story. And she was confident and she wants to have sex and she talks about things. And I also love Maddie. Love Maddie. Yeah.

I also, we didn't get to know some of them as much. but watching jade back i was like in awe of jade she has like a little humor she's gorgeous she's sweet and she's just like i was like wait i can't wait to watch more jade i would definitely bring jade and mattie back for another round 100% and also like just for everybody like one we have no say in this but too also like this show does not feed bachelor paradise but i just it's we Caitlin and I talk about how different the two shows are and also like how it just like the sort of like the safety of are you my first is such a different thing than the Bachelor franchise in many different ways yeah but there is some you know crossover there is some crossover I think there I think so many of them would be great on other reality shows just because I'm like oh there's such real people I just love it so much okay let's talk about a little behind the scenes yes what it was really love like filming on this tropical. Heads up.

We still had to COVID test every day. We did. Yeah, that's crazy. We did. Colton was also my personal trainer. I was. We worked out like three days a week. Well, you worked out like six days a week, but I worked out three days a week with you.

Yeah. In a very hot, sweaty gym. No AC. And we would watch the new arrivals coming. We'd be like doing squats and we'd be like, holy shit, she's hot. Look at the new arrival. I know. We were like, I was like squinting, getting our binoculars out.

We did have binoculars. We really did. That's so. funny how do you think like the environment that they were in and that we were in changed the energy and the vibe of the show like it was beautiful so sunny tropical like could you think of that setting with them anywhere else like i feel like we made it sexy yeah totally and i think there's also studies of like the sun shining and like it's really good for your mental health and gives you clarity yeah so i think that all had to to sort of like go into like the mood of the

show in the setting. Also, like, shout out to the art department. Oh, my God. It's gorgeous. They really did a good job. Like, that's the other thing for BTS people. Like, so many people go into making a show like this. Oh. Of course you hear, like, producers and, like, the directors and the show run. Like, there is an art department. Yeah. There are, you know, the chefs, the meals that you have to eat there. It takes a lot of hands to. So many people. And the lighting department, this is crazy. There were so many tropical storms And one night lightning struck one of the cameras And like blew out a fuse for all the cameras

All the cameras And we couldn't film because that happened We were down for like I think almost 18 hours Yeah 16 a year Yeah like there's so much crazy stuff that happens Behind the scenes of a show I know what is the funniest behind the scenes moment that you remember Oh gosh

Was it when I got bit by a jellyfish That was pretty great And it wasn't just you. Like, everybody was going to be it. And I was like, I'm not going in those waters. You and I were snorkeling and you came up and went, Caitlin. And I went, what? And you're like, you swam right into a jellyfish.

You went to jellyfish. And I went, it just started smacking me all over the place. And I was like, give me the way out of it. I just remember going underwater with my goggles and like just seeing three jellyfish coming straight for Caitlin. And like couldn't. I couldn't get. I know. Right for my ass cheek.

It was like welts across my ass cheeks. And then the poor guys on the boat. was like, what do I do? And they're like, you got to put rubbing alcohol on it. And they had gloves on. I was like, could you do it? And they're like, tapping my butt. And they're like, do I have permission. I was like, yes. Yes. You're like, go. Please. Now. Yeah. Um, my other favorite memories to like Jordan was able to visit. Yeah. That was so nice. Which like that's the other thing. It's like I'm there to do a job. So like this isn't like a vacation for us. Like we're there. But also to have, you know, my partner be able to show up. And, you know, when I was done for the night, go on walks on the beach. They were so romantic. I was, like, secretly filming you guys and taking pictures because I was like, this is? The horses. The most stunning thing on planet Earth. The horses running on the beach during a sunset. You're like, is this a movie?

Wait, also, can we talk about the dogs? I wanted to take home 10. I know, me too. I knew, and that was something we had in common. I shouldn't say that. I wanted one to come in my room with me. And I wanted to give it a bath. I know.

Same. It was a little dirty. Yeah, they all had like fleas and they were dirty and I just wanted to stick my face. That was like the ultimate thing when I was like, probably not the best idea to bring this into my room. But the hotel did have a dog. So that was fun. It did. Yeah.

That was fun. What are you the most proud of with the show? The cast. Yeah. Just because like I know how hard it is. And also like you almost is in until it's out to the world, you sort of feel paralyzed. Yeah. Because like, okay, like I don't really know how I need to be operating.

You also just experienced all this growth that then when you go back into your family and your friend's setting, they don't really understand or relate to you because like they didn't have the same. growth over that, you know, certain amount of days of filming. Yeah. So then you sort of come back as this new person and you're like figuring yourself out. So I'm just really proud of them because I know what that had to have been like. I agree with that. And then do you think they're all virgins? Currently?

Yeah. I don't. If my... Do you think they were virgins while they were on the show? Yes. Okay. With an asterisk slash question mark with one. Yeah.

Same. So that was like my only thing. And then there was rumors. I heard of a group chat that had some tea with the cast, like a cast group chat. So, you know, haven't confirmed anything yet. Yeah. I know we can't confirm or deny.

I know. Because I'm like, I'd really like to know. I would too. Yeah. Maybe they'll come clean. They should. Yeah. They should.

That would be really a problem. But if I had to guess. Maybe they're born again. I bet 50% aren't virgins anymore. You think so? You think that kind of open them up. I also think that's a good way for us to like, sort of measure the success of like the self-discovery part of the show totally so i think they're

because they come in being very like i am a virgin for this reason this is my choice and then i feel like because of the self-discovery journey that they've gone so hard right by the end they're like maybe i'm more open than i was before maybe i am ready maybe i'm not maybe like there's so many maybes and what-ifs and all the things you know that they could feel after that man and there's There's going to be plenty of people if they did, you know, leave the island single sliding into those DMs. Oh, God. That's the thing as well. Yeah.

That's, okay. Everybody that's watching and listening to this right now, go tweet or Instagram or TikTok about it and also say that you want a reunion. So we can find out where they're at now. Or if you're a virgin out there, we have experienced a lot of people in our DMs. So. Yeah. And I, by the way, like for those who are like, oh, they'll never read this. We do.

I read all of them. And I, yeah, I look. at the pictures. I see what their journey. Oh, I go Google them, wiki, wiki, what is it? Wiki. Wiki feet. Not for you anymore. No, what is that other one? LinkedIn. Oh, you look at LinkedIn? No, I'm just, how professional. I'm just being silly, but I just want to know about them because I'm like, we don't even have a season two yet and we're like casting for it already because the two of us are manifesters. And in season two, when it happens, we want a lie detector test. Lie detector tests. Lie detector tests.

wrap them up. And I know you're like, well, we don't want to expose everybody, but yes, we do. I mean, I don't want liars on the show. That's very true. Yeah. This is why we're a good balance. You're way and like the nicest way. Yeah. I am where I'm like, maybe we'll give him a second chance. Well, no. Yeah, no. That's the growth you've learned. Yeah. I'm like, no, no, no. Thank you. That's the other thing I think what was so fun about this is it was so collaborative, not only between us, but also like the team and like, you know, I think it's important to mention, like, Peter, who was our showrunner for this show, we had a history with and trust.

Yeah. Also, like, trust in him. Yeah. But also, he came to us and was like, what do you think of this? Yeah. Yeah, this would be great. Have you thought about that? And, like, they would take our, versus when you're like the Bachelor and Bachelor,

they already have that show figured out. Oh, my gosh. Yes. So, like, there's not a lot there. It really sort of helped with my creative spark, too. Totally same. We can, like, really lean in and, like, really shape this. thing. It was fun to be collaborative. And of course, like, that, that is such a testament to Peter's character as well. Like, we do have such a history with him. He's such a wonderful person. Peter Geist, we love you so much. And I feel like he really trusted us and we really trusted him. And I think that was a really positive experience for both of us in the world of reality television to just have so much trust and believe in this show so much. And also for him to be able to set his ego aside of like, he's been doing this for a very, very long time. But to still have like the.

the ability to say, I don't know everything yet. And like these two have been in a position that I haven't been in. So like let's run this by them. Yeah, which is so cool. He's just not a man that's like on a power trip. No, no. We've dealt with enough of those. Yes.

Yes, we have. Okay, last but not least, let's talk about your family. Yeah. I am just, I haven't met Bishop yet. I've just facetimed with him and I'm obsessed with that little human. He is a sweet, sweet angel boy. He really is. Like, he has the heart of gold.

Yes. He's, like, truly also a new baby every two weeks. Yeah, so you get to fall in love every two weeks. I mean, just deeper in love. Yeah. It's like, it is wild and intense how, like, the feelings are. Also, like, you know, I haven't talked too much about this, but, you know, I always knew I was born to be a dad. Yeah.

And with IVF and surrogacy and what we went through, you know, you have a lot of decisions to make, almost to where it's a little overwhelming. no kidding um in you know there was a conversation jordan i had about potentially doing twins and like what that would look like and i'm so glad we didn't um not that i don't think twins is a good option for some people but like i to have bonding time with him one-on-one yeah and or two-on-one with my husband like is really special yeah and and also also like has maybe somewhat shifted our timeline of like when we're going to you know plan for number two yeah like we just are it's such a special moment right now where we sort of just want to stay in it yeah as long as you stay as long as you can i know and it's just you know he's got his neighborhood friends and he's just like a sweet

sweet boy he's just a happy baby yeah but that i mean i think that comes from your guys's energy too like you both are just these lovely calm happy people who just like your house is so full of love thank you it is we we had this thing jordan actually brought it up to me and he really wanted to protect the energy in the house so we were pretty specific with who we allowed into our home and then especially early on we didn't want him around chaotic energy yeah we like really protected his bubble that's why i haven't met him no that's not that's not but but we finally got to a point where jordan i were like we now need chaotic energy to like because we have such a sensitive baby now where we're like we need him to be able

to nap on the plane or like we protected him too much where we're like okay now we need to start introducing him to these different energies. Has he flown yet? Oh yeah several times. He's been to New York. He came to New York I think when he was six months. Yeah. Seven months and we took him to Denver to hang with my family. He's been on a few planes. Oh, that's awesome. I know. You can just see it Through any photo or video I watch, I'm just like, he's such a happy boy. Yeah. It's really, really happy. What advice would you give to anyone navigating their identity, life, love, or public perception?

Ooh, loaded, loaded. That is a loaded one. I would say be patient with yourself. Yeah. Be kind to yourself. That was like. Goes so far. We both are, I think it's also like a character trait for highly achieving people to be their hardest and toughest critics.

Yeah. And like, it's fine for me to do that in my workplace, but not. in my professional life. So, like, I, and I was doing both. So, like, I hold myself to, like, this standard professionally. Yeah. And, like, when I was sort of, and I'm hard on myself professionally. Yeah, same.

But then I can't fully do that in my, like, I have to show myself more grace in my personal life. Oh, got it. Okay. And, like, that's sort of what I learned. It's, like, the balance there. So being able to be kind and patient with myself and understand that, like, things come in waves, right?

like my career was great but my personal life sucked and then my personal life is great but then like I'm not working yeah yeah and like finding that like balance of how to show grace in different moments for both of those two different things yeah it's hard was a juggle and I think that would be what I would share with people is like there are times you're going to have to make sacrifices that are going to be really tough in different seasons but trying to my college coach used to say this all the time he said never be too high and never be too low yeah so he's like it's really hard but just try to keep even when you're overachieving and crushing it and, like, at the top, yeah, just be even keel.

Be humble, be accepting and, like, yeah. I learned this chart from my therapist and it's called the window of tolerance because I used to function either here or here. Yeah. And I would always, like, go to the worst case scenario or I would like. Hello anxiety. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Or I would like, like, if something bothered me, I'd go here. And then I would wear myself out so much here that I would crash down here. Yeah. And so I keep. picture of the window of tolerance in my room. And I look at it every day to just remind myself, just try and stay in that window of tolerance. You're allowed to feel feelings. You're allowed to feel this. But don't go here and exhaust yourself to hear when you don't need to. And it's just, I think that's a

healthy thing. Maybe everybody out there who needs that can print out the, there, you can just Google it, the window of tolerance. I'm going to, I've never seen it and I'm going to go look at it. You should absolutely do that. I'm a visual guy. I'm a visual guy. Wait, did I ask you this question the other day? I want to ask the audience and they can leave it in the comments or YouTube wherever you're watching this and I want to ask you but I might have already it's been a long few days um when you picture letters and numbers do you picture them in color or black and white color same we're visual people you've never asked me that but i didn't yes my mom two is orange thought something was wrong with i was like actually just thinking yeah no two is orange yeah one is

red yeah yeah anybody else no black and white yeah color i'm also not what what is this um Oh, gosh. I forgot the proper name of it. But like, I don't, it doesn't happen to everybody, but like I can see color around people. Like energy. You can read people's aura? I'm not that at all. But like, I have like a good sense of like people's energy based off of like. The color you see around them? Yeah. What color do I have? I mean, it's more. It's always warm and happy. Oh. Yeah. Yours always like a good time.

Okay. I don't know. I'm not that. But like, I. I want you to tap into that. Oh, great. Yeah, I want you to, there's two things. So Colton also learned on Are You My First, what a Diva Cup was? Yes. And he said, well, I don't really have to worry about that anymore because you're with men and you have a little boy.

And I said, if there's a season two, sir, when there's a season two, sir, you have to know my schedule. And what phase I'm in of working with me. So you should know about a Diva Cup and the female anatomy. I'm done. Okay, thank you. This episode is brought to you. by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies just to see if you could save some cash? Progressive really makes it so easy, you guys. You just drop some details about

yourself. See if you're eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies. The process only takes like minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. So visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, potential savings will vary not available in all states. I'll admit grown-up summer camp is officially coming to Destin, Florida, September 26 to 28. And it's called Lady World. Headliners include Hannah Burner, comedian and star of Giggly Squad, Stasi Schroeder. Lady Gang, Girls Got to Eat, Chicks in the Office, Justin Sylvester, Rachel Lindsay, Caitlin Bristow, and so many more.

Plus music from the main, and pop 2K members of NSYNC, BB Mac, O-Town, Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray, Ryan Cabrera. Ugh, it's just our dream lineup. Three days of activities, three nights of shows, all for three. $300. Tickets are available now at ladyworld.co. That's ladyworld, L-A-D-Y-W-World.C-O. But hurry up because they are really going fast. Lady World presented by Elf Cosmetics takes over Destin this September. Can I ask you where your faith is right now? Yeah. I'm still considering myself a Christian man. I am not. I am not. not in organized and structured religion anymore. So basically what that means to me is I am still a man of God. My relationship with God is between him and I.

I still pray. My faith looks different. I don't go to a specific church. I actually do not go to church at all. And I actually think that journey has been great for me. And what that's allowed me to do is have a whole new level of respect for other people's religions and faith. And I think that is ultimately what... Being a Christian is.

Being a good Christian is is, is I have now this ability to not judge or, because like I used to, I remember when I used to like go to church and be around and be in Bible study and all of these things, I would remember judging people of different things. I'd be like, oh, you're not really, this isn't the right path. Like, we're the right path. And like, now I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't have all the answers. This man who is leading this service and asking for this. of money does not have all the answers either and so I don't subscribe to that um and it's it's I'm in a good place yeah I love that thank you so much for talking to me first coming on the pod yeah

this was lovely it has seven seven wow really that's so crazy oh but for everybody that is watching and listening if you haven't already um I'm sure you have because all of my vinos are the most supportive people on the planet but they've got to watch this show and all 10 episodes are available on Hulu and Disney Plus for my Canadians out there. And I'm really proud of what we've done. I am too. Yeah. And I can't wait for season two.

I, it's, hey, slide into our DMs, if you're a hot, horny version. Wait, tell people where they can find you. Oh, you can find me in my house on those weekends in bed by 9 p.m. Give us the address. Yeah. At Colton Underwood on Instagram. I'm on threads at that too. I'm threads over Twitter now.

I'm still figuring myself out on TikTok. Same. It's a journey. Yeah, it's a journey on TikTok. I feel too old for TikTok. I also feel so exposed on TikTok. I'm like, wow, I got 800 likes and like nobody commented. I was like, it's very humbling, very humbling place out there.

I do want to shout out to the vinos out there. Anybody on your IVF journey, season one of Daddy Hood was a lot about fertility. So if you need... That's a great call. Oh, there's so many vinos. So if there's anybody on their fertility, journey, either if you're in a same-sex couple or just going through it even with your partner. There's a lot of really cool. All of the episodes are labeled basically for what it is. And from

legal, I had my attorney on to my doctor on to if you guys are using a surrogate for your child or your baby, check that out. And then season two is coming out next month. Where can they find? Oh, at the Daddyhood podcast. That's awesome. Yeah, because I feel like so many all my audience is like 98% women. And I feel like so many of them go through that. And to have episodes all broken down into the journey of it, smart. Also, I want the women out there to make their men listen and also get tested. Test, if you are going to the gynecologist and you are working so hard in injecting yourself with all of these hormones to create eggs, it's very easy and very simple for a man to go test his sperm and his numbers to make sure that he is healthy as well because he is 50% of that

equation. Yes. Amen, sister. Normalize men talking about fertility. Yeah, seriously, men, get your, some of it might be, don't make us feel like all the pressure. Trust me. Yeah, what our bodies have to go through. I love that. Yeah, I'd love, I'd love to come on your podcast as well. You are. We have lots. No, we have lots to discuss. Yeah, we do. Heat with thousands of free movies. Presenting Summer of Cinema. Stream your favorite blockbuster films like Gladiator. I will have my venuets.

Good Burger. This is what I call fast fig. Beverly Hills Cop, the girl with a dragon tattoo, and Julie and Julia. Bon Appetit. All for free on your favorite devices. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never.

I'm Justin Sylvester. And I'm Blake Lee Thornton. Join us for Yestergays. the podcast where we break down the most pivotal pop culture moments in history and give them the queer love that they deserve. The things that got us riled up during dial-up. Those makeouts that should have been breakouts. And the drops that were cemented in pop.

I'm talking Benefer. Tyra versus Naomi. Tom Cruise jumping on that couch. And so much more. So please rate us, subscribe to us on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or anywhere you get audio-related content. We also take memo. And cash app.

A-C-H? Or credit cards. number as well we're malleable you know we're gay today