Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Courtney a.k.a. “Corny”: Average Fashion Blogger

Episode Date: August 31, 2021

All hail “The Corn”!!! Kaitlyn has Courtney Parchman, most widely known as “Average Fashion Blogger” a.k.a. Corny, join her on Off the Vine after receiving the most hilarious Cameo video from her as a gift and since becoming one of her #1 fans. Corny’s short and hilarious social media bits (including one with Pilot Pete) started as a joke making fun of fashion bloggers for her friends but they went viral on her College campus and have since gained her a massive following on both TikTok and Instagram and all of it is helping get her foot in the acting door which is her end goal. Corny shares what her Bachelor limo entrance would be, more about the writing, practicing and perfecting of comedy (a side of it we all forget takes place to really make it happen) and she opens up about a very toxic relationship she had with food which led to the removal of part of her stomach. The interview ends with a hilarious 5 second rule that Corny fails miserably and the hot beef breath is something no one can unsee. You can find Courtney on IG and TikTok at @averagefashionblogger CHINET - Visit mychinet.com to find out more. GEICO - Go to geico.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. It’s GEICO-easy! JORDAN HARBINGER - Search for The Jordan Harbinger Show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. OXICLEAN - Visit oxicleancoupons.com where a coupon is waiting for you. PELOTON - With the Peloton Bike, there’s nothing like working out from home. New members can try Peloton classes free for 30 days at onepeloton.com/app. Terms apply. TALKSPACE - Start feeling better with a single message. Go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code VINE. ZOLA - Go to zola.com/vine today, and use promo code SAVE50 for fifty-percent off your save the dates. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with igaming ontario hey everybody you're listening to kately bristow's podcast off the vine take it away brie wine lots of wine hey be on the mic turn it up let's go hey ramen pinot ready for the show everyone's welcome so come on in because o tv it's about to begin hey welcome to off the vine i'm your host It's stuck in a giant laughing, smiling face. And if you don't already follow her on Instagram, you need to do that.

And if you don't follow her on TikTok, you need to do that too. Average fashion blogger. That's her handle, but she's so much more than that. She is an up-and-coming comedian. We are all going to see in all of the movies before we know it. I'm putting my money on it. I'm manifesting a role with her and Jennifer Coolidge. But there's actually a lot more to her and her story than just her hilarious funny videos that we see online.

There is writing and work and practice and thought and planning. People forget that a lot of comedy is scripted and written and has to be performed and executed well for it to be as hilarious as it is. So I actually really loved getting to chat to her and this more like realistic real side of her and what goes on behind the scenes of her videos. Also hearing about her decision to have part of her stomach removed to help change a very toxic relationship she had with food and how that's changed her life. I ask her a bunch of listener questions. so find out what her bachelor limo entrance would be and her confession which requires finding the other person in the world who had happened to so that she can pay them back.

And you know what? A good five-second rule game that she failed miserably at but almost made me pee my pants. So overall a win. Pop open some vino vinos and I hope this episode makes your day. All hail the fucking corn. I am obsessed with you. like hey everyone what's up oh my gosh i just like you i'm so glad i discovered you okay so

i'm going to start off with the cameo that you sent me because my girlfriend cat is the reason why i found who you were she was like you need to follow average fashion blogger she's like the funniest girl on the internet and so i started following you on tictock and then instagram and we just would send each other videos of you all the time back and forth and And like, anytime we were having a bad day or anything, just send a video of you. And so she was trying to figure out what to get me for my birthday. And she got me a cameo from you. And she was like, look, I knew she wasn't going to disappoint, but she literally just did a three-minute skit for you.

And she's like, this is like the best gift I could ever give you. I've watched it. I've showed all the people in the Bachelor crew, like everyone, because it was so nice. That is so kind. Oh, it's the best. She's going to listen to this podcast. She's like, she literally texted. me and said, are you podcasting with her? And she put like corn emojis and she's all excited.

So, oh my gosh. Well, I'm glad she asked me to do that then. That's really sweet. It was it was just incredible. Like she just, you did not disappoint. I have questions about that cameo later. But first, I wanted to know, I always ask comedians this if they come out of the womb funny. Like, were you funny as a kid? Or, because I know you've discovered your love for comedy later on in college, right? Kind of, yeah. Well, like, I always. my dad and I like thought a lot growing up but he would always get always get mad because like I was funny and like make him laugh.

And I know I always was like appreciated by adults for my humor and like was known for being funny. But it wasn't like funny, funny. Or I feel like when I moved to LA, I learned more of like what my comedic voice is. Yes. Like I know how to like hit it off with people and like make them laugh casually but I didn't know how to like create and write

until I moved and like really like committed to it. how did that happen? You just were like, oh, I'm, like, did you have a different career path? And then you're like, wait, I'm actually way too funny to be doing what I'm doing. Hold on. Yeah, like, how did that happen? Last a day in an office. No, a lot of trial and error happened so, like, organically. And in college, I kind of was like, okay, I really do think I want to move to LA to pursue acting and comedy. And I knew comedy would be like my way of getting in the door. But like, acting was always like the big thing I wanted to do. Yeah. So then average fashion blogger started because I was just like making fun of one of my friends. And it started really just to like make my friends laugh. And then it gained like a following on my campus. And so it really was like, oh, God, I hate those videos. Like so many of the videos in the beginning, I'm like, that wasn't funny.

Like I can't believe I did that. But it was so much of like just like continued. It was like a drug. Like I couldn't stop creating this. And then like getting feedback. I would ask everyone. I would like in my sorority house, I would like hear someone making one of my video. like listening to one of my videos and I would like stand by the door and like wait for them to

laugh. And if they didn't laugh, I would like take note and be like, okay, they didn't think that was funny. But like maybe if I tried this, it was so like, it's been so much of just like engaging with my audience and like learning from them. That says a lot about your confidence. Because if I, if somebody was watching a video that I thought was funny that I did and they didn't laugh, I'd go like cry in a corner. I wouldn't like use it as motivation. I wouldn't be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I fucking quit. I can't do it. No, it's more like an anxiety. It's like, I'm like, okay, I have to figure this out. Like, I'll, I'll figure it out.

I'll get him to like me. So I can't, I cannot imagine. I did, I went pretty far back into your videos and I thought they were all hilarious. And like, it's just funny because I'm obviously in the world of like so many bloggers and influencers and I'm guilty of stuff myself. And I just laughs hard because it's so easy to poke fun at. Like, same kind of thing as in the Bachelor franchise. It's, I watch as a viewer and I'm like, this shit is so. funny guy crying already but then when i'm in it i'm like oh my god it's so far yeah it's like but

it's the what was i just watching you were you're like hey guys this is my purse it's from walmart i love the vintage like rip in it and oh my i know that one's so old yeah i went i went way back because oh my god that's so sweet yeah that was i was following you on ticot first and then i was like got it on a rabbit hole of your instagram videos because all like even like you're saying you're like that wasn't funny yes it was all of it is funny all of it it's so good it's so good and so funny because i also i've never had a designer person my whole life all of my purses are from like target or pay less shoes i found some really cute ones there and so watching that i'm like relatable you're like okay yeah we probably have a lot of similar

objects yeah yeah that's so funny it's me it's also weird like living in l.a now too because before I was like in Oklahoma so like I wasn't like around anything didn't know anything and now like I've been in LA for three years so I've and I've just like grown up and like lives changed so I feel like I know like more of like what I was making fun of when in the time I didn't even know I was making fun of some of the things it was just like my actual life but I had no idea that I was like poking fun at things it's it's just incredible and your online comedy basically started just in that way right like from the average fashion blogger from it getting traction and because now I love the world we live in where like comedians can

have a platform on social media right like because I'm sure you've obviously done stand-up and stuff but do you prefer stand-up or do you prefer being online so I hate stand-up oh you do I'm working on a one-woman show which I'm actually really excited about but no I don't hate stand-up the few times I've done it I actually love it and it's gone well yeah but I'm so used because since I, like, learned my comedy online, I'm so used to, like, perfecting a bit until it's like up to, like, I'm like, this is perfect. I know I have, like, done everything I can, where stand up is such an immediate feedback. And, like, I can watch a video of mine. And, like, I'll pretty much know the response I'm going to get from anything. But whenever you're online,

like, if I say something that I think is funny and I don't get the laugh, like, I'm sure I'll, like, panic hard enough to where it would be funny. But, like, I can't be the thought of it. I'm I'm like, what if they, like, oh, it's so scary to me. That's true. But it's scarier. Well, I would think it would be scary if you're standing in front of the audience and they didn't laugh. Like, has that ever happened? Because again, I would cry in the corner.

No, I have only done stand up two times. And both times, I think I was just having like a panic attack the whole time. So people were laughing because it was like, I don't think they knew what was happening, but something was happening. And so I both times I haven't had to deal with it. but like the idea of them not laughing like I don't I don't know I won't put myself in that position to like be like I'm just really funny big so people would never not laugh like that's how can they never no I just won't let myself juicy up because I'm like I can't handle them not laughing

way to one woman show though are you going to travel can you come to Nashville can I come and watch yeah you can come to everything okay take a solid show I'll just say I'm working on it but who's to say if it will actually be born but it should no matter what even if whoever is getting you to do this if it's not then do it with someone else or do it on your own you have to do a one woman show and you have to travel the world and and make everybody laugh international pop sensation yeah you have to be international average blogger sensation yeah you have to do it i'm like i think it'd be really fine i will rent you a tour bus anything i can do to help make this happen i'm doing it mostly because i just want to come with you you can find

Oh, my God. Wait, I need someone to come with me. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll, like, bring my wine and dogs, and then we can just travel the world together. You'll be my hyperl. And then we just get to travel and go to fun hotels. Kind of what you're doing now. Kind of what I'm doing now, except I'm kind of in lockdown right now because of the pandemic. Do you get to have fun there? Is it pretty, like, strict? Last season that we did was so strict.

We couldn't even leave the property, like, so, so strict. but this time like we get to go out for dinner if it's outdoor dining we can go okay is my podcast producer making fun of me right now she always seems to be hung over these days yeah i really i don't know what my problem is it's yeah but i pride myself in like not really getting hung over and you don't no like very rarely it's it's like rare when i get a hangover do you drink hard or you like just a little tipsy it depends on the day but usually just like a couple glasses of wine okay but last night i i don't know oh i had wine and then i switched to tequila and then i went back to wine and i think that really did it for me

and i had to leave i did a workout this morning and i the trainer that i have just puts me on face time and he was like he was like are you okay and i'm like um because i never like to admit to him like yeah going to the doctor when they're like how much do you drink a week like I'm like, I don't know, like once a month. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like so maybe once, maybe once a month, but like every night. Yeah. And so I was doing a lunge and I literally just like put the weight down and walked outside and like took out my like little headphones and I just started going, no, I didn't throw up, but I was this close. And I'm telling you, I've never once in my whole life thrown up from drinking, not once even when I was like back in my like.

party days. No, I never did. So I was like, don't do it, Caitlin. I'm like, I have like a shirt that says vomit free since 93 and I'm like, like, I swear by it. I'm like, I'm not going to vomit. You're like, I, if I throw up, I can't wear this shirt anymore. Like so good about the shirt. I'm going to change the year to 2021. I was like, I'm not, I've, I fought it and I didn't throw up. So thanks Minnie for calling me out on my own podcast, but that's okay. I've got to told you anyways. I want to talk about the cameo that you made me. Are you okay if I post a little clip of it to my podcast page? Of course.

The only issue, I never do my cameos. Never do my cameo. And so I guess just if you're listening to this and God forbid you have been someone that has been let down. Just know it's not you. It's me. I overthink every time I do a cameo. Um, and I'm really sorry. You overthink that?

Oh my God, I overthink everything. Oh, I, it's so funny when people shock me with that kind of thing. Like, I would have never expected you to overthink anything. Yeah. And that is something else that I overthink is like, does this, does it look like I care too much? No, canyas are so crazy because I'm like, I can't believe someone's paying me to do this. And then I'm like, this isn't worth it. And I'll make someone's cameo like eight times.

And then I'm like, no, I can't. Like, I just can't, which is way worse than. doing it literally i think they would just laugh if you like just said like hello and said like something small i don't know i feel like it must be a lot of pressure to be known as a comedian though because then people just expect you to always be hilarious and that's kind of draining it's a weird yeah i used to like with my head really hard but now i'm like um i can only do what i can do and i also like used to prioritize funny over everything and now I prioritize just like being kind over everything. So I'm like if they don't think I'm funny, like at least I'll think I'm kind, which is like more

important. So that's what I'm trying to do now. But then when it comes to cameos, I'm like, I know they want me to be funny. But I'm not in the mood. Like it's just so it's weird. I get that because you have to have boundaries too of like how much you, you know, are giving to other people while you're trying to like, you know, sometimes cameo. Well, this is what I found because Jason had it. I find that, like, that's what you start doing on your downtime, when really on your downtime, it should be your downtime, not to be on even more than you have to be already. Do you do cameos? I don't, but I, it's genius, like, because, oh, it's so smart, yeah.

Like, I'm so, that was the perfect birthday present for Kat to give me. And my, like, now we, we quote it. Like, we'll be like, stop being a little bitch. Oh, my God, girls. Whenever I heard your podcast when you were talking about how much in my. And it literally, I was like, I have to start doing these comedians more. Like, that was so sweet. It really made my whole week.

Like, you really should, again, have the boundaries of when it feels right for you to do it because that can be extremely overwhelming. And that is kind of a reason I don't do it because I feel like I would get overwhelmed and want to please everybody and make sure I respond to everybody. And then I want it to be top quality content and especially if they're paying for it. But, I mean, that is, it's your job. Your career is to be a comedian. in, so you have to, you make money to be funny. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so, you know.

Stop being a little bitch. Just kidding. Yeah. Okay. I start crying. I'm like, don't twist my words back on me. No, I will say you were very funny and then you were very kind at the end. I was like, do you know who Man and Matthews is?

No. Okay. You guys would get along great. She's, I hate when people do that. That's like me telling me I should be friends with Bachelor people. just because she's a comedian. I told you to be friends with her. But she's actually the kindest human being and super funny.

And she lives in L.A. So immediately just think of you two being friends. Yeah, well, great. She does impressions of people. Do you do impressions ever? Because I can't ever do an impression of anyone. Really? Not really.

I'm like, really, that's weird. No, I'm really. No, I do like a few. I, like, sometimes I just naturally sound like Lindsay Lohan or like Britney Spears or Jennifer like I can if I like tweak my voice a little bit it sounds like it so people might think I do impressions but I really can't it just is like a little it's the ones that I'm already like kind of going for yeah yeah I hear you your videos that you did going back to 2017 for your new year's eve like when you ran into oh my god that is so crazy I like can't I refuse to watch

what can you're blowing my mind right now I just because I was going to ask another part of me was going to ask how you have all the confidence in the world to like put out these skits or be this funny but that you I can't believe you overthink them and sometimes don't think they're funny like yeah okay so I think I think I put myself back in 2017 me I think at the time I don't think I realized what I was doing like had I known what I was doing was going to create this career for me have all these followers all I think I don't think I would have post I think it yeah I don't think it was just for like for my friends so it was like a thin stuff Yeah, is how I thought of it.

Hilarious. Yeah. And now, I mean, I guess I don't overthink. I'm kind of pushing into how much I overthink. I don't overthink as much as I care a lot. Like, oh, that's something. And then I care, like, a lot about the feedback. But you get a lot of good feedback because my audience is so kind.

People on my off the vine page were so stoked that you were coming on this podcast. Like, really? Yes, we put out. You guys like me so far. What do you guys think? I'm like, are you still happy I'm here? Yes. Everyone is so happy you're here, including me.

You're just, it's, it's like, I don't know, people just want to get to know you more because they see this one side of you. And everyone, like, so we went to ask people questions or have them ask you questions. And so many of them were like, no questions. I'm just obsessed with her. She's like the funniest person on the internet. She's like a light in our lives. And everybody was just like going nuts about how much they loved you. It's so bizarre.

It's insane. See, that blows my mind, too. I thought that's what, like, you'd want that career to have all these followers. Oh, I do. I do. It just, like, it's funny that you wouldn't have wanted that five years ago or however long that was because I think I would have wanted it. Just, I would have been a lot more scared to post.

And then. Oh, I feel that. I don't know. It's such a weird thing. Like, it's my friend I joke about is this whole thing of, like, everyone look at me and stop looking at me right now. Like, it's like this constant and, like, I need all. eyes on me and like does everyone like me yeah okay everyone never look at me again like it's just like

but then yeah like I delete social media from my phone every day and I'm like I actually have outgrown this and I no longer need that affirmation and then like two seconds later I'm like wait no no no no I need everyone to tell me that this joke is funny like it's just so constant like I don't know what it is it's just a little internal battle with yourself you're having it's just a little fun thing that I like to do every day with myself it's a fun game you do to torture yourself do you get nervous when you post on social media? No. I mean, I get nervous that I'm going to, like, get canceled or say something like that I don't know is wrong. Right. I get scared about that. But Jason says to me all the time, he's like, he's like, you don't even think before you hit send. I'm just like, I'll,

I'll, like, have a funny idea or a thought or a post and I'll just go, blah, like, send. And I don't even think twice about it. Or I don't really overthink it either. I, I overthink when I don't post. I'm like, why I'm so boring? Like, people are going to stop caring because I'm just so boring. I'm not posting enough. And then I overthink it. But then once I do post, I'm like, I'm on a roll. And I think I'm very happy.

Holy shit. Here I go. Yeah. Somebody's so fun. Those days, though, when it's coming and you just posting, oh, they're so fun. I agree. I feel like that's the best stuff is when you, I mean, that's what it comes across as when you post, like, it's just, it makes me give up because you just, it feels like you don't give

any fucks and I just love that so much. I do. I, okay, I want to, I'm, no, it's a hard. I totally, I think I'm making it worse for you because I'm like, oh, I thought this. And you're like, no, that still is me. I'm making it worse for you right now. I totally get the battle. It's just a, it's a, like, it takes me, from the moment I have a funny idea to posting it, it's probably like a total of two seconds. But then I'm obsessing after, does everyone think it's funny? Did it hit the way I wanted it to? Things like that. like when you ran into pilot pete did he ever comment on that okay so i was actually with pilot p that whole night and i had it oh he was this is actually the sweetest thing we had already like met earlier

that night and then later i was like hey i have a funny bit i want to do with you and then um he was so kind he was like i have like laughed at so many times watching your videos and now i get to be a part of it this is the coolest thing like it was like a very sweet moment and then we like made the video and it went well so i thought you're gonna say and then we made and then we made out and no no no no um no and anyone trying to get tea on that nothing happened i was trying i was like and then i'm like oh she has it cutting out oops bye uh he's he actually is a very kind person yeah that was funny because he so he played along with that i was like oh my gosh does he not know who that is no we were like i think we ended we even did the bit

like two or three times because i was like wait i think i like messed it up like let's just do it again he was like brilliant on it yeah that's so funny the other bit that you do that I'd die is your like plastic surgery hacks but like in natural ways so when you like did the Gatorade lip flip and

like yeah or like the bands around your mouth and just like really natural ways to plump your lips I was like that the Gatorade one killed me yay yeah the Gatorade one was that was like peak quarantine I think right yes it was it

Did you kick? I feel like I did that as a kid. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. I would, like, suck the bottle and, like, get a ring around my mouth and think it was so funny and cool. And then, like, people started, like, try to sue her because they were, like, my lips exploded. Yeah, that's not the best hack if you actually injure yourself, but. Yeah, that was so funny when that went around.

Everyone was, like, coming to class the next day with, like, bruised lips. I kind of want to do it just, like, to, like, all my social media. media and be like, oh, I learned this trick from corny and then just do it. Then you do it. And then I'll do it, yeah. Well, it will leave also, like, for a few days, your lips will be, like, a little bit tinted because it does, like, bruising. Perfect.

Yeah. So make sure you do the red one. And you're filming right now, right? Was it so fun to, like, get to be a part of that whole process? Yes. It's really cool being on this side of it because I've obviously, I was on The Bachelor, then I was The Bachelorette, and now I get to be on like the side where I see the production side. And it's so fun. And like I actually feel like I'm bringing some value to Michelle and to Katie

because nobody in the world can really say that they've done what they're doing except for like 15 other girls in the world. And so being one of them, I love the real talk. I love when she's like really upset. And I can go in and be like validate their feelings and their insecurities and be like this is normal and like how can I help like I have so much time to like right like think back and like be brief that you probably are like you have so much more knowledge to like give her and be like hindsight this is what it is yes it's it feels like we're actually like mentors and support systems rather than just like a host role oh my gosh it's so good that she has y'all yeah I just I honestly get jealous for six years ago, Caitlin, because I'm like, if I would have had that, that would have changed

everything. Like, just to have a couple people who feel like friends around, because you really are just in a bubble, can't talk to your friends, can't talk to your family, don't have your phone, just surrounded by producers, trying to make television while navigating real feelings. And so it's so cool to be able to feel like a real friend. Like, when I go in to have chats with her, I really don't know what she's going to talk to me about so that it's real conversation and me just being like oh my gosh i remember that and i remember that and this is normal and like you're allowed to feel like that i know this feels wrong but it's right like it's so interesting wow did you like being the bachelor or did you which did you like

better i loved being a contestant on the show i had so much fun i made so many girlfriends yeah i feel like i was just like i was in the perfect time of my life of like zero f given. I truly was just being myself. I didn't worry about the cameras and like, I mean, I got nervous sometimes when I was around him and the cameras, but like in general, I was just like, I'm just going to be myself. And I had so much fun. Then as The Bachelorette, it was a complete nightmare. Like, I just, I hated constantly dumping people. And like, I always felt like the bad guy because guys, when you dump them, they hate you. They, they hate you. They, like that they're not like oh yeah as if i've dubbed a bunch of guys no well i mean it's

very what is i swear look at this picture of my fiancee by the way oh no that's you your reaction is perfect you're like oh the his childhood picture is just it's everything but yeah on the bachelor i was just like constantly hurting people's feelings they were always mad at me I just felt like I was always disappointing people, even producers, I was disappointing them because I'd like sneak out and like try and find the guys when off camera and like, oh, I spent the, I went in and found two of my guys hotel rooms and just spent the whole night and they're like telling them like certain things and them telling me certain things and I got in so much trouble like I got in so much trouble all the time on my season and I just felt like I was constantly like in a room crying doing something wrong. my gosh wait that's bizarre how old were you when he was 29 oh my gosh oh no it's 30 i was 30 yeah i was 29 on the bachelor and then 30 as the bachelorette yeah okay yeah it was it was a wild that is so much to go through yeah oh my gosh but i grew so much as a person like i came out of that just knowing exactly like well actually i was a little lost for a while but like you just

you process so many emotions and talk through so many feelings and it really feels like you're going into therapy every single day the producers are very good at their job yeah and you just have to be so strong like it really i feel like is flight or flight yes like your body's just like we're doing this we're by herself like we have no one like we don't know anyone's intentions here like yep like not even a contestant mode it's just like it's you fighting to like oh my gosh well it's also the bad like the whole franchise has changed so much far as like social media and stuff, but I do feel like six years ago is a little bit more heart heavy. It was like right when I was on The Bachelor, that's right when Instagram started

like going nuts and people like starting to promote things and getting paid for certain things. Like I don't feel like anyone came on my season to like be Instagram famous, which is nice. I didn't ever think about that. Like obviously that's something people have to worry about now, but. yeah 2015 is like i don't feel like people had understood that it was a career thing i did neither i came out and i was like someone was like i'll pay you this to talk about flat tummy tea and i was like hell yeah yeah okay how much i was like that's awesome yeah oh yeah okay because i know you make fun of like you know the fashion blogger thing i want you to do a review of my sweatsuits so i'm going to send you one of my sweatsuits because I'm launching an apparel line tomorrow that's part of like-

Tomorrow? Yeah. Congrats. It's so cute and comfy. And because I have a, so I have a scrunchy line. I like wear scrunchies every single day and I'm obsessed with them. And so I started a scrunchy company. And then we kind of expanded and did like, like different clips and like hair things.

And then we did bucket hats. And now we're doing sweatsuits and they're so freaking cute. So I'm going to send you one and you have to like make fun of it. send it to me. Okay, well, I'll post it. They'll be so excited. I haven't really done fashion content in a while, and I feel like they'll be really excited to see a little bit. Yeah, I'm, I'm craving some fashion content from the average fashion blogger, okay? Well, okay, okay. You've got to give the people what they want. Yeah, yeah, go overthink it. Now go, go do it now. Right now, I want to watch you do it in real time. Okay, also I had a question. I don't know if this is a bit or

if this is serious. Did you really have surgery? Yeah, I did. get my stomach cut out. You did? Yeah, that's real life. But do you talk about it or are you like private about it? I'm totally comfortable talking about it. I talk about it like a lot in my personal life. It's not it's not like an easy thing for people to understand just in like public and it's like easy talk about a situation like it's real conversation. But it's it's really hard. I don't know how I want to go about it yet as far as like just publicly being like right. Yeah. I feel that. I'm just like totally fine. I'm comfortable with this. Don't feel like you're pushing any weird. Okay.

Okay. Sweating. Yeah, I did get my stomach cut out. Do you feel better? Are you good now? Like, I guess anyone's confused. In January, I got, it's called the gastric sleeve and I got 80% of my stomach removed. Wow. Yeah. And it's like a pretty intense surgery. A lot goes into it. I did speak about it like a little while ago. I made like a little podcast. And it's crazy. hearing that because I was in like such a different place than I am now but I talk more about how I decided to do it and it's not an actual podcast it's really like a sound cloud link because I like don't know how to do Spotify or anything but I think my biggest regret with that was just like talking

I like failed I didn't mention how like serious and intense the surgery is and I feel like a lot of people were listening to it and they're seeing me like lose weight and stuff and they're like shit I'm getting my stomach cut out and I'm like I guess I should like really emphasize like this is a very big like lifelong decision and you have to like for like a year going into it don't you like the way you like yeah it depends i didn't um i did mine like out of pocket so it wasn't through through insurance because with my weight i was like such on the cusp of qualifying for the surgery or not that if i wanted to qualify i would have had to like gain four pounds and like prove that i was like trying to lose weight for another like six months and i was like i've been doing

10 years, I, like, really don't want to wait six more months, like, prove to you that, like, whatever it is in my brain can't do it. I ended up, like, from the time I decided to do it to getting the surgery, I want to say it was, like, three weeks. But it also was like, someone said, like, it's not a quick decision when, like, you've dealt with something like that for so long. So. Right.

That's kind of how. But as long as you feel better now and you're happy you did it. So that's great. So much better. I did it mostly. I had a really bad relationship with food, like a really. really bad relationship. And so it really just like the way I think about it, I don't know if this is like a wrong way to think about it, but it's like if you could fix your brain to not have anxiety

or like have an addiction anymore, you would. And I needed to have surgical help in order to break my addiction to like my food toxic relationship. And so the surgery did like exactly what I wanted it to do. And I like really have never been happier. That's amazing. Kelly Osborne did that same thing. and she, I had her on my podcast and she talked about how that helped her with her relationship with food too. And that's, yeah, that's a good point, though, because I suffer from bad anxiety and depression. I take medication for it. So it's like that's something that has healed you or helped you in a way.

And I think that's incredible. Everyone should do what's best for their body. Yeah, it's great. And I was nervous about being so young, getting it done. But I, like, am so glad I didn't wait even two more months. to get it like yeah I need like I was I was scared I was jumping the gun and like just being silly but I like looking back I'm like I know I needed it and like I just needed it like I'm really happy about it and thank you for talking about it yeah I'm going to ask you a few

questions that some of the listeners had um Stephanie um Amanda said, who are your creative inspirations? And a lot of people actually wanted to know this, where you get your comedic inspiration. That's sweet. Okay. Meg Stalter, do you follow her on Instagram? I don't think so. Okay, you have to.

She is the, truly the funniest girl in the world. Like, tell me your name one more time. Meg Stalter. She was just on that. Did you watch hacks by any chance? No. Okay, it's an HBO show. That also is really funny, but she just got, she was cast in the,

that past season and like judd appetow tweeted about her like she's so good and like she's just I don't like I'm obsessed with her I know her personally as well and I like do not know where the line is from being a friend or a fan because she just like she's so funny and I don't know you'll just once you see your stuff you're going to be like I get it like she's followed her I'm going to go down the rabbit hole on her now too yeah I think her work ethic I really and just her goofiness and like how much fun she has is really like aspirational to me she's really good um meg d dub says ask questions about corny's bachelorette experience okay did you ever see the video i did a fake bachelorette video yes okay does she want like a goofy answer does she want me to actually

answer i don't know what she actually asked you ever really quick because you did uh you did like a thing on Bachelor or Bachelorette where you were the Bachelorette and you were like totally thought everything was going well with a guy who clearly was not into it. But yeah, tell me what I don't I didn't know if there's something other another experience she was talking about. I thought that's what it was. But yeah, explain what you did. Okay. Well, I worked with Columbia Central for like nine months. I was like part of a program and we were supposed to move to New York. But then COVID hit. So then instead we like got to go to a house in Palm Springs for a week and work on like, like a bunch of material that we didn't get to make when we were there and then they gave us like a

day where we got to make our own stuff and so I got like two hours and I got to like direct and make this little fake bachelorette thing and it was so fun and the boys were so good like they were totally in on it and I don't know it was just so fun it was funny it was about TikTok or Instagram or both I put clips of it on TikTok but it's I think a six minute video so it's on my I do TV. Oh, okay, okay. That's where I want to send people to watch it because it was so funny. It's always the coolest thing I've gotten to me. Really? Yeah, just because I had so much access and it was the first time I was like, Kerman, stand there, sound like, I just got to like direct everyone and then be like, boys, you say this, I'm going to say this, and then we're going to do this,

and then we're going to cut to this. And it was just so fun to be like, everyone listens to me. Totally. Everyone listens to me and I'm the star, so everyone has to listen. That's a win-win right there. Yeah. I have a question for you. I ask some of my guess this, if they are fans of the show. What would be your limo entrance? Oh, God. Yeah, I think about this every time. I love watching the first episode. It's so, it's so honest. And they try so hard to be not, like, they try to have this thing planned, but then they're so nervous that, like, it's so genuine. It is so genuine. I literally get to watch. I got to watch live as it's happening while eating popcorn and drinking tequila. And it was incredible.

Yeah. Dying laughing. Yeah. No. I think I would just, okay, like actually picturing myself, I would probably go out and I'd be like, like, so diving into it. Like, I'd wear a little tweed skirt and like tiptoe over and be like, ha. Like, so annoying. I think that's what I do.

You would just be yourself. That's not annoying. I would be like, I would be like running my fingers like up as I'm being like, what's you thinking about? Like just being, I'd be so annoying. I know it. I would die to see that. Okay, classic Corinna said, how do you feel if celebrities acknowledge one of your videos? It's just like a little encouragement of being like, oh, cool, someone else thinks believes in me.

I don't even know if that's the message you're trying to say by sharing my video, but I take it as they believe in me. That means I'm going to be okay. Absolutely. Wait, who's the biggest celebrity if they, like, commented on it that you'd like poop your pantaloons? Brie Larson follows me. and yeah that feels really good that's a nice one yeah there's a bunch j t firstman he's like a little comedian he's so he writes for big mouth he's like really good and smart so whenever he thinks that i did something funny i'm like okay really yeah but um i do want to say lena headley

one time did a very big shout out and it was really kind really yeah like shared your video she was like posting my videos on her actual page Wow. Yeah, it's really cool. That is cool. That's totally a confidence booster. Gosh, I would, I mean, I still, I just posted my, when Jennifer Anderson responded to me about friends, I literally died inside and I'll never get over it. And I said to her, are you, yeah, but are you and Ross still together? And she said, well, we're on a break. And I was like, oh, no, complete. Yeah. Oh, my God. She's a big one. I just think about her this morning. I think about her every day. Well, guess what? I've been thinking about her.

past three years. You just one-up me. No, I'm kidding. Okay, Jesse the roll, the Thorell, well, that was a tough one. How has your surgery impacted your mental health? That was the question. Ooh, I don't really know completely yet because I feel like I'm still adjusting. So much has changed in the past six months.

Like, I feel like I woke up in like a new girl's life kind of. like dating is different. Everything feels different. So I don't really know. I know I'm still like kind of adjusting in comedy. Everything is changing right now. And but luckily like I feel really good. So it's no, nothing bad.

The only thing bad is like it's not even bad yet, but like a lot of people have been like really encouraging on my weight loss, which is really sweet. But then I know I'll probably have a hard time if I ever gain one pound because I'm like, I was so encouraged when I was losing weight that I know that I know. if I ever go the opposite direction it won't be when someone's so nice in one direction it like they're being so nice but then at the same time it's like making like little things in my head be like okay we love when this happens so god forbid the other thing happens right you know that's like probably it's the only weird thing but yeah that makes a lot of sense though I feel really happy though good I love that yeah and little miss hands said what is your best audition story. Oh, probably my first audition. This was like three years ago when I first moved to

LA and I pretty quickly got with like a very great agency. And they knew I was new, but I think they didn't know how new I was where I truly like knew nothing. And so they were like, okay, you have an audition, blah, blah, blah. And then luckily I had a meeting at the agency that day. And so when I was there, I was like, okay, like where did I go for the audition? Like, is it here? And they're like, what? No, it's like at the place and I was like what the heck and so I went and it was like on the I want to say like universal studios a lot so I was like so scared never been and when I'm nervous I get really bad dry mouth and so um I walked in and it was like for like an actual like show like a big one and I like walked in and they told me I'm doing a bad job explaining a story but the only thing my

agency I was like I don't know anything can you like walk me through it they're like all you have to do is like in the beginning like hi my name's Courtney would you like me to slate and slating is saying like your name height and where you are based yeah and so i like walked in and i was like the only thing i knew to do was say that i knew my lines but i was like hi um would you like me to slate and they just stared at me and they like there's no cameras what and i was like so what does that mean do you want me to slate and they were like there's no cameras i was like so do you want me to sleep and they were like no there's no cameras and i was like okay got it so then like okay go and at this point my mouth like i couldn't say anything and

And so I literally just looked at them and I was like, I'm so sorry. And I left. I didn't know. I couldn't. It wasn't even like, I said the first line and it came out so weird. Like, let's say the line's like, hi, how's it going. I was like, hi. And like, it was like, it was just so bad.

I knew. They knew I knew. I was shaking like so obnoxiously. Like, yeah, I left. I did call my agent. I was like, I don't think that I probably got that word. That's so, so funny. I used to audition for commercials in Vancouver when I lived there.

Because my girlfriend was an agent and she would be like, I'm just going to send you to this. And I started trying to like get commercial gigs because a lot of commercials are filmed in Vancouver. And so many times I would just not go and be like, oh, that went great. And just because I was, I would get too nervous and I wouldn't go into them because I, or I'd walk in and everybody would look like me and it would freak me out and I'd just leave. I'd be like, like, because they're clearly going for a certain look and it would freak me out and I would just leave. And then she'd be like, how to go? I'd be like, yeah, it was great, I've nailed it, probably going to get a call back. And then just never would and be like, oh, shoot, I wonder what happened with that one.

That's so crazy. I was just, I just got too nervous. It's so intimidating auditioning. I, like, it is. People are just, you're just, I actually, do you know who Biff naked is by any chance? I don't. Okay, she's Canadian and she was like a singer that kind of had like a big hit back in the day. And I auditioned for one of her.

music videos and I walked into a room and it was just this bright lit office with like her manager and a bunch of people sitting there behind one desk and another girl walked in and she I was on the same cheerleading team as her and she walked in and we had to do the audition together and they told me I had to push her up against the wall and kiss down her neck and I was mortified and I did it I did it and I committed to it but I was like I did and I did a great honey It was the best audition of my life I only did two But yeah, it was like so terrifying

And you're just sitting in this bright lit room Like with people staring at you And they're like, hey go Like So weird No, that's crazy That would throw me for a loop I don't I think I would do really bad at that

I'd like no my mouth's too dry I wanted to just do what you did And walk out but I would like felt so much pressure Because the other girl was like Oh at least we're friends And I was like yeah And then I just couldn't look at her the same after

are like, oh, I'm so sorry I've violated you. They're so, and they're so like, when the minute you, like, walk in it truly feels like an alternate world. It's just like, so out of your control and you just like, you just want to please them. Yeah, you kind of just have to surrender to the process and just be like, anything they want. You're like, I'll do anything. Except for that. And then you walk out and because you have dry mouth. Yeah. Okay, I was wondering that because, you know, every podcast I get my guest to confess something to me. And I was like, I wonder if you have a funny audition one, but really that just.

I guess I was leaving. Well, it kind of sucks, so, because they held off on auditions for a little bit for me, because I was, like, so nervous and had a really hard time, like, just being myself. And so now I'm, like, at a point where they can put me in. And, but now it's all self-tapes. So it's not even, like, I'm sure once we go back to in-person, I'll have, like, a million stories. But right now, they're pretty boring. Well, do you have any confession?

Anything you want to confess? They have a confession. They told me this was coming. And I actually am really happy because this is something. bad that I did, that I'm really excited to get off my chest. Yes, that's exactly what I'm looking for. Okay. I was in college and I was at the laundromat getting my laundry done.

And I was in my car and I was backing out. And these two girls were next to my car. And I'm actually like so scared of actually getting in trouble for this. I'm sure. Like, felt like I hit something. But I was like, no. I think if I hit, like, I ran this two girls over and I drove, no, I'm kidding. I did.

That's what I was like, oh, my God. No, I didn't hit the girls. But I felt like I hit something. And then I, like, my windows rolled down. And I was like, I didn't hear anything. And the girls are still talking. Like, I feel like if I hit something, they would have, like, looked or something. And I think I know deep down, I knew the real situation.

But I kept driving home. And then I, like, walked out of my car and I just, like, looked at it. And there was so much paint on my car. And I knew I hit the car behind me. And then I felt I felt so bad And so I went back to the laundromat And I was going to tell them Tell the person

But the car was gone So then I went home And then there happened to be like A bunch of police cars by my house at this For something else But I like did I like was on the couch like Couldn't move for hours

So yeah I did a hit and run And that was about four years ago I do think about it still I'm really glad you felt safe enough to tell us all that because we are here to say it's okay and nobody got hurt nobody got hurt and if you happen to be the person at the laundromat and out of nowhere the back left corner of your car was hit i'm happy to fix it now oh my god could you imagine if if somebody really if if they like listen to this podcast and they're like that was that was me i too have been thinking about it for the last four years

I'm about to get like so many DMs that people randomly with like just trying to get their car or like actual issues with their car but they're like oh she'll fix it if I say that what color no don't say what color painted is don't say what color painted is and then we'll let them if they get it wrong

then you know you can't fix their car for them. Okay cool so I have a quick game before I let you go it's the five second rule I'm going to test your wittiness quickness I start throwing up Okay.

Let's get it. Okay, so in five seconds, I'll, this is my timer. Name three famous Michaels. Michael Jackson. Michael, um, Michael, um, Michael, J. Fox. Michael, um, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, um, I once, like, I'm gonna go, we go real quick. That was really close.

Did I say Michael Jackson? You did. You said Michael Jackson, Michael J. Fox. Michael. I don't even know Michael J. Fox is. Oh, I'm looking at it up now, and now I do know who he is. Okay, ready? Name three famous Jennifer's.

Jennifer Anson, Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, shit. Jennifer, Jennifer, um. you're Googling oh my god Jennifer Coolidge oh god did you watch the white lotus oh yeah did you yeah I just finished it today oh shit that's such a good series and I was just like I'm so sad it's over I keep hearing the the music really elevated that show so much and Jennifer Coolidge is a like every move like when she even went in for that makeout I was just like that is exactly how that character would make out. Like, she embodied that so well.

Like, I feel like that's her in real life because she just played it so well. Like, I was like, I didn't even feel like she was acting. It was incredible. I'm obsessed with her. Oh, Jennifer Cooley. And, like, the constant confusion. Oh, she's so good. And her just, her vulnerability in it makes me so happy when she's crying.

And she's like, I'm a dead end. I was like, we all feel that way. You're like, me too. name three ways to hide a fart okay no i'm actually so good at this um walking to turn into your crop dust that's always a good one spread your butt cheeks because it doesn't make any noise and if you like twist in your chair that'll cover i'm actually so good at this that was really good i love a good fart walk when you're just like i gotta go over here for sure well i can't hold in oh this is too much but i just can't hold my farts or it's my stomach real bad. So now I'm really am good at getting those things out.

That's why you nailed that question. You're like, I know from personal experience. Yeah. That's hilarious. Okay, last one. Name three smells that make you gag. Gag? Yeah. No, I'm like, I don't gag. It's actually a weird thing I can't do. I can't wait. Bad smells. Maybe. The five seconds is up. I'm giving you one more.

Okay. Well, actually, I can't stand when I can tell someone's eating beef in their breath. Like hot beef breath. That's actually so disgusting. Yeah, okay. That's fair. Yeah, that's, I can't. Hot beef breath for the win.

That's. And, like, it'll kind of, like, I won't be able to really talk to them for, like, a little while after that. Like, a few weeks. It really hit. three to five business days. Oh, that actually makes me uncomfy now. And now I'm going to look out for beef breath. Yeah, and it's like hot. Oh. Ew. I'm sorry. It's hot. Sip. Okay, that would definitely make me gag. Okay. Last one, I promise. Name three excuses to give when you don't want to do something. Oh, my God. It work. Sick. I was just came in contact with someone from COVID.

Okay. That's a good one. that's good yeah i have to get tested i think people because people can't can't be can't like go over that you know no you can't be mad at that either you'd be like oh yeah do that do that yeah for sure okay well that was my game did you enjoy did you enjoy the podcast today oh my god i had so much fun this was such a nice conversation okay good because i really enjoyed i really had a good time with you and i'm i'm just already sad that it's over if you had the option not to ask me to be on it like you go back in time would you still ask yeah i would i would still ask you to be on it oh my god thank god yeah yeah and i but that

but i would go back and ask for two hours of your time instead of one i'm like yeah no actually do you have to head out i feel like i got a heart out uh no i got to go get tested that's amazing oh my gosh thank you so much tell i mean i think everybody knows but tell everybody where they can find you okay my handle and everything is average fashion blogger I will be honest, I don't post too much fashion stuff anymore, but I'm just having a good time. You're so fun. I absolutely love following you. You're one of my favorite people to follow on the internet. So thank you for always making us laugh. Well, thank you. And thank you to Kat for letting this friendship happen. You know what? She is to be thanked for that. So I'm going to send her flowers from us. Okay. Can I, I want to pitch in.

Okay. Well, you can just tell me what you write on the car. Wait, how much money are you making for a premise? I'll get this one. You'll get the next one. But you just have to tell me what to write on the card. Hi, Cat, Sweetie Pat. The girls are hanging and the girls are loving you. Thanks for loving us. Yeah.

That's perfect. Okay. I'll write that down. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Thanks for asking me to do this. Anytime you're always welcome on the podcast.

And if we're ever in the same city, we're definitely hanging out. We're hanging out. And if I ever come to Nashville for my show, you're front and center. Yes. front and center oh my gosh i would be i have a really loud obnoxious laugh but i feel like it makes people laugh too so it would be perfect i always love sitting in front of comedy shows and you can pick on me okay perfect i'll have like a whole rose section perfect that sounds like wait no i didn't mean it like this no i did okay perfect perfect i love it thank you so much and i will probably

DM you after this yay okay okay talk to you later bye bye I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.