Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Danielle Maltby

Episode Date: January 2, 2020

This week Kaitlyn rings in the New Year with her dear friend and bachelor nation alumni Danielle Maltby! They talk about the beauty of close friendship and Danielle reveals her big 2020 goal to finish a book she's been working on. After the passing of her fiancé, Danielle learned to process her grief through yoga and writing and she hopes her story will resonate with others. In the spirit of the new year, they talk about self love and giving back to those less fortunate. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario we're on with o tv podcast one presents off the vine great therapy kately bristow's going to answer your questions drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything bachelor let's shake it up some more here's katelyn welcome to off the vine i'm your host katelyn bristow today my guest on the podcast is someone you already know and love She's one of my good friends who lives right here in Nashville. She's also a fellow Bachelor Nation alum.

And are you retired for good from Bachelor Nation? Who knows? I mean, who knows? Who knows? She's hosted the podcast, the WoMed, short for women in medicine, and a nurse of over a decade who might just have the most compassion of anyone I know. You're so sweet. No, you're the sweetest. Literally the sweetest.

Today she's here to catch up with me And tell me all about what's happened In the second half of 2019 And what the next year has in store Please welcome to the podcast Danielle Malteby Holy shit I could not get through that You're on the struggle bus today

What is it? I'm like I always want to blame Mondays when it's Monday But like Mondays mean nothing to me Yeah It could be Friday and I'm like I'm still screwing out my words And like I'm just It's a weird day

It's a weird vibe in Nashville It's raining It is It's cold There's flood warnings Yes You know what I'm going to blame it on? The Buffalo Bills, because last night, Jason and I, Jason's like, I wanted to take him to the winery because there was one of my, my voice coach was performing there.

Okay. And so I was like, we're going to have a nice little date night. And he's like, uh, the bills are playing. And I was like, oh, okay, false alarms. So we went to winners, which is, you know, the bar, but there's a bar called winners and losers. Winners is a Bills bar. So they play all the Bills games. And it's.

I mean, Bill's fans aren't nuts, man. Oh, they're crazy. They're, like, they're called Bill's Mafia. It's like a whole thing. They have the song and they, let's go Buffalo. So I knew that I was going to be in one when he said that because I'm like, well, to keep up with them, you have to drink. Yeah. And to stay sane, you have to drink.

And so we went to winners and then we went to losers and we had ourselves a night last night. So today, I'm a little, like, foggy. that's that's totally understandable yeah i can't read i can't speak and so this should be a very very good podcast uh anyways little little key i'm so mad at myself right now first of all we've had uh girls christmas parties and hangs and you haven't made i know i know because you're so terrible no you have so many friends you're so popular you had to like well i go with like whoever books things first and then i'm like no that's that's it's okay you're forgiven but I'm mad at myself because I have put your ring on my finger every single time that we're supposed to have these hangouts.

And then today I know I'm podcasting you. I know I'll see you and I forget to bring it. That just means you still need it for a little bit. Maybe you're right. Yeah. Danielle, we were doing my live podcast in Dallas and I had anxiety and stress and I think I was just like so overwhelmed at the end of one of the shows. And it was just like kind of starting to close it. Yeah, I really was.

and I was just so tired and overwhelmed in a good way, but also, like, overwhelmed. I'm like, I just need to get home and stuff was happening, whatever. And you just looked at me and you gave, what is the ring? It's a, it's a jet. It's so it's like, it's a blackstone. But black stones are, like, very protective and they keep, like, bad energy out and they filter in good energy. And I was like, here, you need this right now.

Yes. And you gave me a ring. And you gave it a little bit of extra love before giving it to me. And I really feel like it helps. Oh, good. So I don't feel like I need it anymore because all I've been doing is recharging the batteries. Like, good. You needed to.

I sleep 12 hours a night. That's amazing. Even with two dogs because Jason is an angel who gets up with them all the time. You have three snoring men. I have three snoring men in my bed. Two boys and one grown man. I haven't met Pino yet. Oh, you need to meet Pino.

Oh, God. His face is so big and smushy. Like, ramen's like more sleek and petite and Pino just looks like. burly yes he's okay have you ever seen um it's so weird because my obviously last golden was tucker but there's this other tucker on instagram have you seen this tucker no he's like a famous golden who the owner makes like hilarious um like what he's saying uh and he likes from your dog yes exactly and he looks exactly like pino and it's so funny because their faces are just so smushy and cute Oh, God, I know, and Steph just got that cute little puppy, too.

Oh, my gosh, I know. I just need to smooch a puppy face. You need to get a puppy. I know, and I think about that. I have a cat. But, like, living in an apartment and then trying to train a dog. You're right. I'm like, but.

I just don't think it'd be fair. I hear you, but I want one so badly. But you can get, like, a tinier one. I'm not a tiny dog person. Yeah, neither am I. No, I want, like, a big dog. I like the big dog. I like the big dog.

I like the big dog. Griff. for Gryffindore. That's a really good name. Wait, what's Gryffindor? Should I know what that is? From Harry Potter. I don't watch her.

Oh. Should I get into that? You should. We should have like a marathon night or something. Okay. Yeah. I'm willing to get into it. I just never have.

Oh, my God. Oh, this is going to be the next girl's date. I'm texting the Dirty Bookers. Okay. So we're in a, this is so funny because we started a book club. We read like one book. One and a half. We called it the Dirty Bookers, and we've read one book and we

started this like I don't know when like eight months ago yeah this is a summer yeah and so that's funny but now we've got a solid group of girlfriends and it's such a good group it's such a good community it really is women need community it really is I feel like uh sometimes in group text I'm like oh my god get me out of this with this one I like look forward to every single message and everyone's funny and everyone's compassionate and everyone's Abby Abby needs to be a comedian She needs her own show

Yeah She Abby is our girlfriend Who is a model She's a super model She's a supermodel And she's also a comedian She's so I've never met someone funnier and wittier

Like I mean she's I need to have her on the podcast Actually oh you should I would love to just hear What would come out of her mouth Yeah And she was wearing this really sexy top The other night

And it was like all mesh But black cover her boobs. And by the end of the night, there's a photo of her. Her nips are out and she's like crushing a burger or something. And she's just like shoving something in her mouth. And it was the back, like she was in the back of somebody's photo. Not even knowing that her picture was being taken. And her nips are just out and crushing them. And she just doesn't, she's like, sends it to the group. She's like, oh, what is my life? She's so funny. But yeah, it is a really good um solid group of women who just have humor and yeah and who want to be there for each other

and just see each other succeed and and also call each other out if if they're yeah yeah i you called me out and i needed it i knew you would you're like you know what i'm going to say i'm usually the one to just say it i need it yeah i'm all about the tough love sometimes especially when it comes to boys do you talk about dating and stuff um i mean i can talk about it yeah like are you dating yeah dating yeah dating around around yeah like there's not like anyone like special i'm just you know yeah entertaining a few yeah like just talking wise but it's not like my big focus so i've been a little like that's great reserved on it and now what is your big focus my podcast my podcast yes and I'm really focused 2020 I am going to finish writing and like release my book yes

and I really it's been something that's like weighed so heavy on me since um since my fiance had passed away and it's also one of the things that really helped me move forward from that was because I just remember waking up one day and looking in the mirror and I was like I can't keep feeling like this yeah like I feel awful what were you feeling day I was just sad yeah like I was I felt like I had to be sad every day and I was like I still want things I still want to get married someday I want to have kids someday and I can't just live my life just existing right until I'm done yeah and then I just remember looking in the mirror and being like you like I gave myself permission to like want those things and like that that be okay

And I was like, this story, like, is going to help people. Yeah. The story is going to resonate with people. Like, you're going to, you're going to be a sign of hope. And I don't mean that, like, narcissistically or, like, grandiose or anything like that. But, like, that really helped me start moving my life forward. Yes. Again, like, out of that darkness that I was in.

And have you, like, when did this, for the listeners that don't know. Like, could you kind of explain? Yeah. So I was engaged and in 2011 March, my fiancé passed away from a drug overdose. It was totally either I was very naive to what was going on. Right. But it was very unexpected. We were supposed to be moving down in Nashville and he passed away.

And about six months later, I just decided. I was like I need a change like I need I need to move like I just felt like I was treading water and I moved down to Nashville and really started living my life again and taking back control and just wanting to feel like me again yeah and that's and that's why now did you talk about your what you had gone through or did you kind of like I because you are obviously you have a platform have you talked about it and because because because because because because because because. Because like you said, like giving people hope or, you know, being able to speak about what you've been through to, that it can help other people. And that's what your book's going to be, right? Yeah. Yeah, my book is going to be this, like, journey through everything that I've been through and until now, I guess. But I have, I've spoken on it, like, on a few posts here and there. And I talked about it, like, a little bit on The Bachelor.

But I, there's also, like, so much that. But, like, I don't want to, not that I don't want to give it all away, but, you know, like, I want people to know that it's part of my history, but, like, not all of me. Yeah, of course. So I'm starting to think about, like, how to keep myself accountable and, like, maybe using social media and, like, talking about, like, writing this book in the process of it. Yeah. To keep myself accountable on making sure I do the work every day. Yeah. So.

And what did you find, like, when you were going through, that's, that's. such a tragic thing to go through, what did you turn to to help you get through things like that? Like when you moved and that, you know, started fresh and you're saying you gave yourself permission to like be happy and go out there and do what you want to do for yourself, a lot of people would I think backpedal or like, you know, just sit in the sorrow and which is okay and everyone does things differently. But what, what is it that you would do and how did you get yourself out of that for a long time i was like in this space of like i i loved him so much i was just going to exist until i could be with him again you know um and and then i was just waking up

every day miserable thinking about that and um i had seen like a grief counselor but that wasn't i just don't think i bonded well with him like you know like you He was like, well, like, these are the stages of grief. And I was like, thank you. I know Kubler-Ross, too, studied that. Yeah. You're not really helping me. Right.

But I actually started taking yoga. And I remember just laying there at the end of class, and I just started bawling. But like, like that silent cry, like that silent just release. Yes. Because it was like, you just, I was so tense. Like, my whole body was just so tense. tense and together and just trying to hold myself physically together and that yoga was like the first time I actually just relaxed and let my body just be and I like I heard him in my head go like

babe I'm so proud of you and it was just a really beautiful moment and like that kind of not that that gave me permission but like I just was like you know what I just don't want to feel like this anymore like I want to be happy and I deserve to I deserve to find someone that is going to love me again and is not going to be addicted to drugs and is not going to be an alcoholic and then like I deserve to find that big love yes and I deserve to be a mother someday like those aren't things that I ever really wanted to give up you know like those are things that I really I think it's just so cool like I really want to really want to make a human when day it is cool I but I love that you say you deserve it because yeah because you do and I don't think a lot of people speak to themselves like that that they deserve things yeah and and you do that you do deserve all those things and obviously you will find them because you're a wonderful human being I love you but but I mean it's it's got to be scary even even though it was 2011 that probably feels like it was yesterday you know sometimes it does yeah and sometimes it feels like a lifetime yeah like I don't even know that girl and

anymore right well because you've probably grown you know everyone knows if when you go through rock bottom you grow so much from it what have you learned about yourself through that um i've learned that i have fixer tendencies okay yes so um trying to avoid all of those yes um but i've really learned how strong i am yeah of course and yeah and there's there's so much truth to that like you really don't know how strong you are until it's your only option right and i used like my own i didn't i mean they were i'm not a shirt coat there were days where i literally was like i could die now and that that's just not me you know like that's not a person that i wanted to be but like i acknowledged those feelings right you didn't ignore them yeah i went to my doctor talked to him

Got on anti-idepressants and, you know, really started just trying to heal. Yeah. I just wanted to feel like me again. How long did it take you? To take that step and get, like, on antidepressants, I think that was probably, like, two and a half months. And then. Not that there should be a timeline. I'm just curious.

It's literally, it's so different for everybody. Right. And then, like, there were definitely times where I sat there. I was like, oh, my God, am I moving through these steps so quickly, you know? But I just, one thing I really had to work on was, like, I just wanted someone to love me so badly. Yeah. And to, like, fill that hole that I've been left. And just learning to just be with myself and just, like, really learn who I was and, like, love who I was. was just an invaluable experience through that.

Yeah. Whole healing process. I think so many people like, you don't, obviously, you don't want to wish anything upon anyone bad to happen so that they can, you know, grow. But I just, I don't know. It's just such a beautiful thing when you can actually fall in love with yourself. Yeah. And put in that work to do so.

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Who is Danielle Maltby? I... How would you describe yourself? I think I'm a big ball of love. You are. You're like a golden retriever. You are. You're loyal. You're compassionate. Yeah. You're a ball of love like you said. You really are a golden. Okay. I like that, though. Yeah. I just like to make people feel better. Like I'm...

I feel like I have, like, found and, like, stepped into my light. And, you know, like, it's, it's not something that's, like, easy to do every single day. You know, we all have really bad days. And, you know, motions are little sometimes. But just knowing that, like, I have found that part of myself, like, I just, like, I'm hopeful. I've never been one that's, even on, like, my saddest day. Like, I've never lost hope. Mm-hmm.

That's great. So I love that Which also, I just said it Oh my gosh, Brandy makes fun of me Because on like tours or if I talk to people And people tell me like really amazing stories all the time And she said that I always go I love that

And I've noticed now how many times I do that And I just did it to you I love that But like you do I do I love that And I love people's stories And I love hearing how they got to where they are

And what they've gone through And yeah I'm like oh it just I love hearing people's stories the human journey it's just so crazy and i love that so many people talk about it now yeah like think about our parents i feel like back in the back in their day like i just feel like it's it's become such a real life-changing thing to just talk about feelings and where you're at and be vulnerable and be able to be able to talk about depression and hardships and and learning from it

i just think it's such a game changer life changer it definitely is. Yeah. And just seeing like my parents open up to that vulnerability more. Yeah. It's just like, okay, good. Like maybe you guys can have a good breakthrough to. Yeah. I mean, it's never too late. No. We'll be right back with more Austin Vine, Grape Therapy. This is Austin Vine Grape Therapy. I wanted to also talk about recently what we did in Nashville, which was also life changing and now I want to foster family like I want to be a foster family oh my god so Danielle and I I thought I kind of had that feeling when like you guys were there was like oh my god I wonder if kail and jays are going to be like foster parents because they'd be like great ahead of I honestly

we like had a full conversation about it on the way home yeah um because so Danielle and I went to we worked with the Nashville angels and non-for-profit and they they're so amazing they are incredible people like really really special people yes just just very, very special, loving, selfless people who just want to help others. Yeah. And so we went for dinner with them to kind of learn about the family that we were going to bring a little Christmas miracle to. Learn more about the program and stuff. And it was a really cool dinner because we all sat around and nobody was really on their phones.

No. We all went around and talked about who we were as people and what's the coolest thing we've done in 2019. Yeah. And then we talked about the family. and it there was somebody what was the uh i'm blanking on her name susan yes okay she was like you know when she first got into the like fostering world she said you know i don't think i could do that i don't think i could you know fall in love with these children and have to give them away and they said well you know the thing about that is it's not about you yes and that really hit home from i

was like oh dang because that's what i was thinking too yeah like like yeah like I don't think that I could do this, you know, but it's like, it's not about you. It's really not about you. It's, it's, it's all about that child and get, just showing them love and safety and safety. Yeah. And the, the, the two people that we were having, um, dinner with producer Eddie, who's in Nashville. He's so nice. Oh my gosh.

Him and his wife are amazing. They're just absolutely lovely people and they foster, uh, kids. And, um, they're just, they're just great human. Yeah, who just having conversation with them and learning about what they've done for fostering, I was like, and you know, some people say that fostering is like a money grabber, which I never knew that people said that. It is very true. I do see a lot of it. Really? Because there, because he was like, trust me.

Yeah. We are not making money. No. But what is the stigma around that? So I do see, I used to see it a lot in the NICU. there would be families that would um and it sounds so sick to say this but they would continue to have special needs kids or affect their pregnancies in some way because they get more money from the government that just made me feel a little bit sick to my son yeah oh my gosh that's awful

and there are i mean granted like it does take a long time to for like government agencies to pay out and stuff, but the fact of the matter is there are a lot of people out there that should not be foster parents and do collect the money for it. Don't they have to go through some sort of They do.

But, I mean, at this point, I mean, like there's just so many kids in the system that they're like, okay, we'll get you out of this horrible environment and put you in like a but at least like you're not. Yeah. No, I guess that's understandable but oh, that's so sad.

yeah but Eddie and his wife are just yes you know the majority is not yeah bad but there is and unfortunately like the people talk about like the the worst situations more like you know yeah always when all the stories that we heard it were just so beautiful yes and I was like I could do that I could do that by the end of it I was like I really think y'all could I do too yeah it was like oh my god I'm going to cry and think it was a conversation on the way home so but the next day we went and we went to this family's house and we got to well first of all we went to target yes that was so much fun it was like a mad dash shopping it was these kids yeah we had an hour to spend 300 dollars each per kid and they had their who like

donated all this money yes incredible and and it was so cute to read their lists because like this sweet 11 year old girl you know i was thinking about my 11 year old niece and Jason was like you can't think of it like that because I was like oh would she want a dollhouse I don't think my niece would and and this dollhouse meant everything to this little girl yeah and pajamas and just a book and she really wanted a watch yeah just like something to like keep their things in yeah a jewelry box yeah it was just so sweet and and so we went shopping and we got to go wrap presents for them that was so much fun that one little boy that just wanted a house coat. Oh my gosh, that's all he wanted. He wanted a house coat and slippers. And slippers. He was, that family was just incredible. And they're so

wonderful. You know, and you, you just go and you put presents under their tree and got the parents a washer and dryer and just seen how much those things meant. But such is like your family. My blessings. Yeah. Oh. That's what the mom said. Yeah. When they got their bikes and stuff, she was like, you guys are blessing my blessings. Oh, my. What a, that's, that's beautifully said. Mm-hmm. Oh, I love that. I love that. Well, you wouldn't say, I like that. Yeah.

Like, that's okay. I do love it. But yeah, it's, it was just so special because all these little things meant so much to them because you really just see that they had each other. And that was, they were a happy, loving family. Yes. And I just, it was just really, I think I'm naive to so many things until I put myself in the position. And, you know, same thing with work. Oh, yeah.

If we don't see it, if it's not in front of our face, like we don't. It just made me want to encourage so many people to volunteer and do different things. I know. Because it really does change perspective. Maybe we should start doing that with the dirty bookers, like pick something every month and go in. Oh, I like that idea. Yeah. Like, animal shelter.

Yes. Like the food kitchen. That's a really good idea. You know? I think that'd be really fun. I think everyone would be down to you or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Abby would be like, what the fuck. I can't teach kids math. I mean, we just have her boobs out. Anatomy lessons. Yeah, exactly. That's true. We should do that, though, because it really, I'm all about perspective. And I think sometimes I get lost in my own world.

And just to do something like that and to encourage other people to do it. So I really want you to come to Africa with me this summer. I will 1,000% come to Africa. Okay, when are you going? When are we going? I'm planning on July. Okay. And what is this?

Was this like a bucket list thing? for you? Well, yeah, going to Africa was definitely a huge bucket list thing for me. And I just the first time I went was like right after Paradise. Oh yeah? And I just remember sitting there. I'm on the back of this motorcycle, like these motorcycle, they're like dirt bikes and stuff that they will take us around on. Yeah. And the organization that I was with just had like a little like birthday party for one of the people at work there. And it was just really beautiful night. And we're just like driving home on these literally like there's nothing around there are no telephone wires there's red dirt roads and like fields yeah and i there was moon was full there was not a cloudless

guy and i'm on the back of his bike and i'm like oh my god i'm here yeah i did this i did this you manifested it yes and i just oh i was so proud of myself for like you know going to a foreign country by myself and the middle of nowhere and just trying to do whatever i could but um because that's scary yeah you know to go do something like that but we had to be out of there by like a certain date too because like the elections were going to start and it just wasn't safe for like americans to be there but um but yeah no i really so the organization that i have been working with is actually like an hour or two from this other hospital and orphanage okay that i just learned about and i've been talking to the woman that started that she's an oncology nurse and she

moved there, like, lives part time there to start this orphanage and the hospital. And I'm like, what if I came and, like, worked at the hospital and I brought some friends and they could work at the orphanage for like a week or something like that? That, I would love to do that. Yeah. I think it would be really cool. It's making it happen. Okay. We're going to do it. I'm in. I'm in. I'm going to do it. That was going to be so much fun. That would be so great. All right, this is a 30 second commercial. And I'm going to throw a lot of numbers at you. But, please stay with me. It's just 15 minutes so you could save 15% or more on car insurance. This company has been offering great rates and great service for over 75 years. And at any time

you need help, you can speak to one of their trained specialist 24-7. The company is Geico. Go to guycoe. Go to guycoe. Sorry for all the numbers. I don't know who I think I am. Jason, big numbers guy. And in five, four, three, two, one, I'm out of time. You are just such a carry person it must is it was it hard to because you have recently left your job yes is that wait is that known yeah did you okay i was like wait i don't want to like editing could be a helpful thing for that if you didn't want me to say that but uh it must be hard for you to to leave that because i know you yeah you did love what you what you were doing but it's it's also what i what i know about you is that you you aren't a risk taker but you are like you you you you

How do I say it? Like, I feel like you feel like you think you should stay somewhere and do something, but you know for your soul and your happiness, you need to do something else and you take those risks. Yeah, exactly. But you love the comfort of certain things that make you happy. I do. Yeah. So that must have been hard to make that decision. It really was.

It wasn't anything I made lightly. And especially because, I mean, you know, you get so much crap on social media. and, like, so many people didn't even think that I went back to work after the show, but it's like, no, like, you did. Still kept my job. Yeah, yeah. Because I loved it, but I just was so emotionally drained, and I had been at the bedside for 12 years taking care of premature infants.

And I just reached a point, and I was like, I can't put another child in a body bag. Like, I can't. I just don't have the emotional capacity for it. right now and I was like I have to do something else like I never saw myself as a lifer in the hospital and 12 years is a long time it is yeah it is and I mean you look at the burnout rates and a lot of new grads aren't making it two years right you know it's just it's a really it's a very tough environment yeah um but I just I again like I get in these moments where like I feel like I'm treading water and I need to make a change to challenge myself yeah like I

I've reached one goal. Okay. What's the next goal? Good for you. So. And that's always led you to the right, you know, path. It's put you on the right path. Every time you're like, okay, I did it.

And here I am. And you're always proud of yourself, which I love. Thanks. You do. You are, I love hearing you say things like you deserve it and you're proud of yourself and you did it. And it's really cool. We'll be right back with more off the line. Grape therapy.

During the season of giving, we'd like to offer you a little. little something special, and all we're asking in return is a few moments of your time. We need you to complete a short survey because your opinion really matters to us, and it actually helps support the show. So it'll only take a couple of minutes, and if you're one of the first people to do it, we'll give you a reward in return. Sounds pretty cool, I'm all right? Just go to podcast.1.

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Do you make New Year's resolutions? I mean, yeah. I feel like they're always like to live healthier and do like, you know. Yeah, stuff. But, no, this year I'm definitely like my resolution. is to write my book and make the moment like continue to grow of course and what do you have a name for your book yet not yet not yet yeah it's such a work in progress work in progress maybe there you go nobody take that shit yeah it's okay it's yours it's yours yeah that's good but yeah

yeah I think something probably like that but like I just really Aaron's been working with me a lot on goal setting yeah so I'm like I want to get the little med to like a more well known place and you've been like a really big inspiration in that and like seeing how you have just like grown this community and I'm like man like I wonder if I can do that with a medical community like of course you can't think of how many women out there in the in that industry need a community yeah you know so just trying to spread the word on that and make that is so tell us what you talk about in the on the podcast so um on the well med i just really love giving women a space to talk about

all the things that they're doing in medicine you know i we have like female scientists that are on the front lines for creating like the new lines of antibiotics to all these um bacterial strains and stuff that we're all resistant to at this point so um we have women doing that you have um one of my friends who's like the first female interventional radiologist Yale has had. Wow. And you have other nurse practitioners that are in the Army Reserves that are down to Mexico right now at the like border camps, you know, providing like health care services to these people who are being detained. And it's like, that's fascinating. It's also, I mean, wildly impressive.

And it's, I think what's. We're doing so much. Yeah. And I think it's cool for people to live. Listen, even if, you know, obviously if they're not in that space, too, because just to hear what everyone's doing. Yeah. And, like, that's right there, that story that I'm like, I want to listen to that. You know, that's, it's, it's fascinating stuff.

And it's, thank you. Yeah. I need to come on the podcast and not talk about medicine. I'll talk about my edibles. That's my medicine. That's totally fine. You can talk about whatever. Oh, gosh.

I always try to think. Do you have a good? for me because I'm like oh god oh my god did I think I'm like speaking of edibles I always just laugh at myself when I it's not like I'm like eating edibles every day everybody just so that's like once in a blue moon I like to do it but it's funny because it's just I don't know I want one of my girlfriends it's her birthday on the 21st and she was like coach yeah the rice crispy drink the rice crispy drink god those are so good I don't know why they even think to sell them in a large chunk because you have one bite.

And it's scary because who, you know, like, if you don't really. Well, that's what I'm saying. What if you don't know to just have a little piece? And you're like, oh, my rice crispy chunk. This looks great. And you eat the whole thing. There's like 250 grams. When you die?

No, I don't think so. You'd just be really, really high. Oh, my God. A couple days. I would, yeah, for a couple days. Anyways, I was like, maybe that will inspire you to have a confession. Well, do you love a crispy drink holding? See if it leads them to something.

I wish I had one of those crispy treats. Oh, man. If you don't have one. I totally didn't even think about confessions. I was telling Jason this this morning. I got an email from somebody, and they were saying, like, how much they love the podcast. And then at the end of it, she goes, by the way, I know. Max, who works at Cactus Club in Toronto, and I used to work with Max at Cactus Club in

Edmonton. And she was like, and if the story he told me about you passing out in a booth is true, then you're more of a legend than I thought. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I forgot about this story. So I was working at this restaurant, training servers, like supposed to be an example. Yeah. And we had like, I don't know if it was, I think we had a course on wine tasting. so like the wine was flowing and then after the like head chef and the GMs and like all these

big time people were like drinking scotch and I was like I'll drink scotch with them and it was great and then I had to close the place down and I ended up just getting so hammered and I was like and I didn't have okay so I was staying at my mom's place because I was just there for like a few months so I didn't move anywhere and I Benton is about 30 minutes from where I live so I'm like obviously I'm not going to drive right but I don't know why I didn't just stay at a friend's house things like I made a bed in the booth at work with a bunch of coats from the office and I was like I'll just sleep this off and go home in the morning like clearly not thinking straight yeah I got woken up by the cleaning people at five in the morning to me just like pass out in a booth

in jackets and I was like woke up and they were like uh excuse me and I was like oh my gosh and they're like do you work here and i'm like yes i swear i do and then the like gm had to come in and sit me down and be like you you can't sleep here kately you cannot make a bed in a booth and sleep here drunk and be woken up by the cleaners at 5 a.m like they're like you're lucky the alarms didn't go off like yeah it was a whole thing so i've that was a real low point for me i was like kately get your f*** shit together what are you doing with your life. And then I went on The Bachelor. Yeah.

I really don't. Because nothing I'll make you get your shit together like that show. Yep. And I did. And I did. Anyways. I'm proud of you. Thanks. I should say I'm proud of myself. Not for that moment, but for after. You know, it was one of those low points that I really grew from passing out in a booth. What a loser. I know. What a freaking loser. Did that inspire you? Oh, God. I feel like everyone always has these great stories. And I'm like,

I think I like went and skinny dipped in a pool once in the college. That's something. Oh, yeah. We climbed a fence and we had like, you know, poured out a bunch of like, had a bunch of like vodka orange juice and went to the community pool and just all like when skinny dipping. Oh, that's fun. It was a lot of fun. I'm telling you, there is nothing like skinny dipping.

It is so good. Liberating. It feels so good. It feels like you're high. Yeah. Like you really, because it's like the adrenaline and you're like, I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I'm doing it and I'm naked. And you're like in water so you feel so free. Yes, I know.

There's just something about it. Let's go skinny dipping. Okay. Cleo said something about going on a ski trip and I was like, hmm, hot tub skinny dipping, let's do it. Wait, where? I want to go on a ski trip. She said Whistler. Oh, yeah.

You guys always do that. Yes. So I think we're going in January. Okay. Yes. You can come. Okay. Yeah.

I mean like Cleo Zend, too. I love it. We're going to Whistler and Africa. Yes. 2020. Here we come. It's going to be great. And you're going to have a book?

Yes. Maybe I'll have a boyfriend. Who knows? Who knows? But maybe you won't and who cares? Yeah. You know? Because you got you.

I do. But I'll tell you what. Sometimes it's a kind of hard. Well, yeah, of course. Yeah. But it's hard being in relationships, too. Oh, yeah. You know, there's so many, there's so many pros and cons of being single.

and being in a relationship, both are very hard. Yeah. You got to enjoy. And it's hard to keep that, like, positivity all the time, so. So true. I had a little hole this weekend. I dug myself into it. It's okay.

As long as you get back out of the hole. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I needed this today. Yeah. I needed your energy today. I've got you, and we're not letting you get back into the hole. Okay.

We're digging yourself out of that one. Oh, yeah. Speaking of getting high. We're going to play a little hypothetical game. Hi, pathetical I want to get high so high Pathetical

Great transition Caitlin Great transition If you could choose Anyone in the world To come on your podcast Who would you choose? Um, Dr. Pimple Popper

Yeah, I already had her. I know, that's amazing I was so crazy That's so funny Who else? Um Oh shit I you know it

the woman who plays a nurse on scrubs oh I thought you were going to say gray's not I'm big into grace right now or grace yeah Meredith oh that would be cool no I was thinking did we talk about this how you could you should have like yeah I think that would be so wild you should have Meredith gray on as Meredith gray and test her knowledge of like medicine that would be so cool that's that's what we have to get that's a big dream

That's a big dream. I wonder if she'd ever do that. Yeah, she would. Dream big. Yeah. No, she would. Yeah. Put it out there.

Yeah. You never know. Like, hopefully she won't do Becca's podcast and she can do mine. Oh, yeah, right. Oh, yeah. Becca's a scrubbing in with me. Yeah. That's, Becca's the one that got me so hooked on Gray's.

She was like. She's so cool. And she's so into, ooh, Meredith or Becca? Both. Yeah. Becca actually kind of reminds me of Meredith. Yeah, I can see that. I think Becca's just been watching it so long that she's like channeled her

Meredith Energy and so like who she is today. Okay, if you could take one celebrity on a date, who are you taking? Chris Evans, Captain America. So cute. Oh, he's so hot. Captain America. Yeah, that's a good one. Okay.

If you had an endless supply of money, where would you move and what would you do? Ooh. I would have a house in the Greek islands. Mm-hmm. And I would just write all. all day. Oh. I just write.

Have you always been a writer? I love to write. Okay. I would really start channeling in some more like poetic, you know, things that I like to do. You should do. I was just going to say, you should do that now. Yeah, I've thought about that and like maybe starting like a fake account and just being like, this is just. Yeah.

Your thoughts. Yeah. Oh, I would follow that. I like that. I love that. This has become ASMR. I can't do the ASMR. It's kind of weird.

No, it's so weird. I have a great voice for it. You really do. But mouth noises really bother me. So I wouldn't, I can't. Yeah. But people are like, oh, I don't mind that. Yeah.

It's just the mouth noises I don't like. Yeah. Because I'm like trying not to swallow too long. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. Only if I don't like you, then I wouldn't. Yeah. It's only if I don't like you. Just kidding.

It's everybody. I just don't want you to feel so cautious. I just start eating a banana. I would die. It's like one of my biggest pet peeves when people eat bananas on planes. Oh, yeah. Because, first of all... See, for me, it's cottage cheese.

I can't be in a room with someone who's eating cottage cheese. I totally get that. That smell is foul. It's like insta vomit. See, it's like, I don't even mind the smell of banana, but on a plane and somebody eating a banana, I don't know, but Jason does it all the time. And I'm like, don't eat the goddamn banana on plane. Okay.

If you could have the power to transform... Sorry, I lost my sentence there. If you could have the power to transform into any animal, which animal would you choose? A mermaid. Oh, yeah. Is that an animal? I don't know. It's just a mermaid.

They're in their own category, but that's what you'd be. Yeah. Or, I think I'd be an elephant. Oh, I love elephants. They're so cute. That's the other thing that we can do in Kenya. They have an elephant reservation where, like, they rescue all the orphans that have been, their moms have been like shot by poachers and stuff like that and like you can like

play with them but like they're like you can like get like really close to them they're so intelligent too and sweet oh i love elephants okay okay yeah we can do that too okay i can't wait when are we going by the way so july july okay yeah done um if you could know the answer to any one question what question would you ask oh snap i would want to know what happens after you die Or like, what is the cure for cancer? Hmm. I'm like thinking all these different things in my head. I'm like, I wouldn't want to know the date that I'd die.

No. I don't want to know the date that, like, I'd meet. Never. Um, oh, I would want to know if I'm going to see the people that I love in this life again. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Yes. That's a great one.

Yeah. That's a great one. If you, oh, well, this answers my next question. Because if you had an envelope that you could open, that would tell you the day that you were going to die, you wouldn't open it. No. I wouldn't either. Mm-mm. if you had the ability to live forever but no one else could would you take it do i age

that's a great question you're trying to find a loophole i'm finding the loophole like when do i stop aging yeah but then does it even matter if no one else is around but you could have more relationships with so many different people throughout their lives and then if there's people that's like you love from one life and they circle back around then you can find them again and like wait for them to be your age again i don't know i feel like a sci-fi movie right now i know i'm like i don't think i would take it because i would what's the point of being in life if you aren't surrounded by anybody like i love i love my alone time but that's and then you'd have to mourn the the death of all the people that you've yeah loved and then you'd just be left with yourself yeah let's not take it no we'll just circle back in the next left time yeah we're going

a hard know on that one um okay well we ran out of time oh damn i know i'm like well is there anything else you wanted to say um listen to your podcast yeah see i have to get better about this listen to my podcast yes it's the womed you can find it on any platform that you listen to podcast we are on instagram at the wo med twitter at the wool med um yeah check it up follow me at DMOB. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Some hot-ass sexy content there.

Girl, I try. Like, I feel like I hit 34 and I'm like, I still can hang, y'all. Yeah, that's me too. I'm like, okay, she's still got it. I'm 34 too. I still got it. Yeah. I love hanging in my 30s.

Yeah, 30s is the best. But like. Well, 30s is the best so far. 20 suck. 30s are amazing. Yeah, we never go back to my 20s. Never. No.

And then 40s are going to be great, too. Yeah. I can feel it. I'm really, I'm just excited. I just feel like this year, so many people have, like, come into my life and stronger. And, like, the community that, like, the female community that we've built. Yes. I'm just grateful for you.

Yeah. I'm grateful for you. I feel like it's, like, I can't believe we lived in the same city before and we didn't hang out until this. And now I'm like, I've been missing Danielle Maltby in my life. I've been missing K.P. for a lot. I'm so glad we finally became friends. thank God for the Bachelor bringing us all together I know don't date any girls shouldn't in the Bachelor family shouldn't date other

except for you I was like I know but I did it yeah Jason is totally an exception to the role he's a total anomaly he really is he's in a bachelor family anomaly yeah yeah he's just wonderful yeah you're so cute we were actually so cute last night we were like dancing and kissing on the dancer and I was like oh I love that Yeah, we were just having a blast. You know, go bills. Yeah. Okay, well, thank you so much for coming in and chatting.

And when is our next hang? Oh, wait, are we going to glow Nashville? Yes. On the 17th. Yes, tomorrow. Oh, that tomorrow? Yeah. Oh, it's supposed to be 25 degrees, by the way.

I'll bundle up. I will bundle the F up. Oh, good God. Okay, well, love you and thank you. And everybody go follow and listen. Oh, I love you. I'm Caitlin Bistow. I'll see you next Tuesday.

Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's on with OTV? This week's grape therapy is sponsored by Ritual Vitamins. Better Health doesn't happen overnight,

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