Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Des Bishop | More Than "Hannah Berner's Husband"

Episode Date: August 6, 2026

#969. You probably know him as comedian Des Bishop... or maybe as Hannah Berner's husband. But trust us, there's so much more to his story.Des joins Kaitlyn to talk about the early days of his relationship with Hannah (including the coffee date where he knew almost instantly she was different), what it was really like when she left to film Summer House just days after they started dating, and why he's completely unbothered being introduced as "Hannah's husband."They also dive into the emotional side of nostalgia, why getting older isn't as scary as people think, the surprising reason he moved from Queens to Ireland at 14, learning Mandarin well enough to perform stand-up in China, and the story behind his new Hulu comedy special Bridge & Tunnel. Plus, Des shares his thoughts on modern masculinity, social media, and the one thing we all do that's proof we're way too attached to our phones.This conversation is hilarious, thoughtful, and full of the kind of perspective that'll have you laughing one minute and reflecting the next.If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these AMAZING deals!Figs: So if you're in healthcare—or know someone who is—don’t miss out on 20% OFF for back to school, happening now through August 11th at wearfigs.comApartments.com:  The place to find a place!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Figs. So if you're in healthcare or know someone who is, don't miss out on 20% off for back to school happening now through August 11th at wherefigs.com and apartments.com, the place to find a place. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. And I am happy to have today's guest on because I've actually known him for a while now. And every time I've met him or hung out with him, I always leave thinking, that guy sees the world. a little differently. And I like it. He's one of Ireland's biggest comedians, but he actually grew up in Queens before moving across the world as a teenager. And since then, he's built just an incredible career doing stand-up television writing. Somehow he keeps challenging himself in ways that honestly

sounds very exhausting and impossible to me. But he learned Irish well enough to perform comedy in it. He moved to China, learned Mandarin so he could do stand-up there. Now he's teaching himself Spanish, all while being hilarious and just a great human. I'm talking about Des Bishop. His brand new stand-up special bridge and tunnel is out now on hulu and youtube he's currently on his gray area tour and today we're talking about everything from comedy and language to marriage with hannah burner getting older and just why he seems to throw himself in these unimaginable scenarios so here is des so you were just in the hamptons in west hampton yeah i spent a lot of the summer in west hampton you do but that has always that has always been the case since i was a teenager you know so

wait where did you grow up i grew up in flushing Queens. Oh, I knew that because then you went from Queens to Ireland when I was 14. But on my own, though. I went to boarding school there. Oh. So the rest of my family were still in Queens. So I was always a back and forther for a long time. Oh, I thought you went younger than 14. I knew you went to Ireland and I knew you, I literally have it right in front of me that you grew up in Queens, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's why it's kind of an odd identity because I've lived in Ireland way more of my life, but I never totally disconnected from New York because the rest of my family were still back here. So like,

always for the full summers until like 96, I would be back in New York. Yeah. And then, you know, just holidays, blah, blah, blah. So I've always been like a hybrid guy. A hybrid guy. I wish I was a hybrid girl. I wish I could say that. Why?

Well, I don't know. Maybe the continuity of like a home base throughout your adolescence, possibly is a healthier way to grow up. But who can say? The grass is always greener. The grass is always greener. Certainly greener in my situation because the grass is truly greener. Truly, truly.

Well, it rains there all the time. The weather is poor, the grass is green. Yeah, it really is. And actually, the initial thing that started to bring me back to New York for comedy, long before I met Hannah, long before I, like, really moved back, I started coming back a lot more because the summers are so much better. And we always had our family summer house on West Hampton. So actually, the weather was the initial thing of bringing me back.

Oh, that's nice. Wait, do you get sick of people calling you like Hannah's husband? No, because that happened when we arrived. I was like, she's probably going to ask me about it. that now. But first of all, number one, I don't mind, but two, in this context, it's expected because Hannah used to record Burning and Hell at WTF Studios. So she would come here a lot. Yeah. So every now and then I would come to like pick her up or every now and then we would do an episode together. But we also did Weezy's podcast. Weezy? Like the boss?

Like actual Weezy? No, Weezy. That runs this joint. Oh, okay, okay, okay. What's that podcast called? My producer friend. Horrible. Horrible? Horrible decisions. W.H. W.H. O.R. Oh. But we did that together, Hannah and I.

But I have to say, on that day, I was really there as Hannah's husband. Well. Particularly. So I don't mind. I was just talking about this with Stasi. Schroeder was just on the pod. And she was like, it's just, this, our parents' generation was so different than ours. Like, I feel like it was, this would be a different conversation back then.

Like now you're like, I'm Hannah's husband. Oh, I don't care. Well, no, because, you know, in situations, where I'm in like Hannah's world, people see me as Hannah's husband. Yeah. And in your world, it's different. And the vice versa. Yeah, and it's irrelevant to me.

You see, all that stuff comes from insecurity. Always. Yeah. And I could, honestly, a lot of the- Hannah could never be with an insecure man. I know that. Well, it would be tough for them because she's like a strong personality. But also, a lot of the next show that I'm writing,

I'm definitely going to touch on insecure masculinity, which masquerades as very aggressive, confident masculinity. but it's steeped in like very odd rules that are very strange to me. Like if you sit down and you pee, that you're not a real man. Or particularly the more serious stuff, which I've encountered in recent times in saunas in Miami. Because we were in Miami during the winter and I was like going to this gym that had a great sauna and a great plunge pool. And I don't know why in Miami like the red pill guys, they're just like free. Yeah.

Oh, really? They don't hold back in public spaces. Wow. And I was just hearing the most outlandish things. But the thing I heard the most was men not being comfortable with their girlfriend slash wives working. Oh, what? Yeah. And I was just like, why does that concern you?

Yeah. And why is that not a turn on? It's very strange to me. So, and trust me, I'm a big fan of like a proud, confident masculinity. This has nothing to do with like being a rage. I mean, I am a feminist in the context of him. like a modern man. Yeah.

But it's more in terms of just like men being more comfortable with being who they are. Yeah, and they're not. Well, yeah, but the problem is that these guys are really giving masculinity like a bad name, I would say, in the sense that like, so sitting down when you pee, for example, I can't believe how much this comes up. Like people actually consider that like an insult. Well, but. And I don't get it.

I'm like, you, you, okay, I don't want to get graphic, but you sit down when you do other things on the toilet. Right. Do you feel like less of a man because you're forced to sit for that one? It doesn't make any sense to me. I would just, I guess I don't think about it. If you're out of urinal, yeah, you stand up. What are you familiar with this concept of men saying like, oh, he sits down when he peed?

Now that you say it, yeah. Shocking. Yeah. Like, absolutely shocking. But do you think those people actually do it? Well, what happens is you get to my age and you're like, you know what? This sitting down while you're peeing thing ain't that bad. It's glorious.

Why would you stand up and sit down? You get an extra scroll. I was going to say. Who's not scrolling? I was going to say, as if people aren't taking their. phone into the bathroom. Okay, this is so, this is the, this is my me problem. I'm so addicted to my phone that if I close the bathroom door and sit down on the toilet and I don't have my phone in me, I'm like, how am I going to sit here for 30 seconds with my phone not on me? I'll get up and go get it.

I have a whole bit about that. You do? I have a joke about you could be like absolute emergency. You finally make it, you drop your pants. You're like, oh my God, I forgot my phone. You pick your pants back up. It's like, what would I, and that's what I say? I say, what would I have done with my thoughts for 60 seconds. I call that mindfulness, but it's a joke about mindfulness, but actually it's more of a joke about how distracted we are all

the time. No, that's not that's not even, I mean, we can laugh at it, but that's serious. Yeah, and that's, it's a joke about something that's actually quite serious. But I find that that's what my humor is. Because relatable humor, it's we all can agree with that and know that we're addicted to our phones and that we don't

want to sit along with our thoughts for 60 seconds. Yes. I feel like that You opened, what was that, when I met you in Nashville, were you opening for Hannah? Yes. Okay, your humor was so funny. I remember being like, because it was a bit dirty. At times.

And I loved it. Particularly for Hannah's shows because, you know, I have a lot of like Gen X stuff. I have a lot of like, you know, back in the day it was like this stuff. But, you know, a lot of that. I guess you have to read your audience. Yeah. Well, Hannah's audience, particularly female, quite, you know, younger than my audience. Yeah.

even than Hannah. So with Hannah, if I open up for Hannah, which is pretty rare, but if we're in a good city, you know, I would go. I used to do it a bit more back in the day. But anyway, the dirtier stuff would fly better with Hannah's crowd. Oh, it's so good. But, you know, but, you know, I, I even tried some of the, like, what I call the boomer humor with Hannah's crowd. And some of it, like, some of it would fly, but with Hannah's crowds always, because people would ask me sometimes, like, do you ever open for Hannah? I would say, I do sometimes, and they would say, like, what kind of stuff do you do? And it's definitely, I had to think, like, I had to make some decisions more than, like,

with my own show. Yeah, okay, wait, tell me about this. So you have a new special out. Bridge and tunnel. Bridge and tunnel. Now, what kind of humor would you consider that? Well, it's got a few sections. Okay.

But there's definitely, like, a good 15 to 20 minute section that I call the nostalgia section, which leans pretty hard on what it used to be like versus now. No, but I think, I don't think it's totally disconnected from, say, somebody who's 25. But that would be the bit maybe that a 25-year-old would, like, potentially go, I'm not getting this 100%. The rest of it, though, is universal. I talk about some New York stuff. I always have a little bit about China because I lived in China and I speak Mandarin. So I tend to have like a China bit.

I got some dirty. I always got to have a bit of filth. Yeah, you have to. Even though I don't know why we call it filth. But anyway, I always have a bit of that. And, oh, and, you know, a little bit of my woke stuff. Oh. My, like, Gen X woke.

Okay. You know? Wait, I want, like, an example. What's Gen X woke? That and nostalgia. I want examples of both. I mean, it's, like, it's hard to just crank out bits right now, but. No, you don't have to crank out of it.

No, no, but like, so let me, let me think of, uh, okay, so I, what I tend to in that show, which became bridge and tunnel, but I only, I only titled it. it because it was becoming like a special that was going to go on Hulu and on YouTube, right? So I had to pick a name. But while I was touring it, it didn't have a name. But during that tour, I would always try to find somebody that was under 25. And obviously that, I would always have a bit of banter there. But whatever age they were, I would establish them.

And then I would constantly come back to them. So I would ask them like a lot of questions. Like, for example, I would talk about being from like the pre-internet, pre-and-and-and-then. and then I would say I'm from, I'm pre-remote control, I would say. Okay. And then I would say, I'm from the generation, and I would flip my hand, and then I would say, what am I doing? Generally, they tend to be around 22, 23.

And then I'd be like, what am I doing? And sometimes they would guess correctly, they'd say changing the channel. One time a girl said, are you starting the car? Which I thought was quite, like, as if I had like a model T, like I was cranking up the model T. Even though I think what she actually meant was like in a horror movie when like the car won't start. It's like, you know, you take the jokes when they come. Oh, one guy, one guy said, are you reversing the tape?

That's what he said. He didn't even know the right verb for rewinding. Be kind of rewind. Are you reversing the tape? I said, yeah, we called it rewinding. But I think he meant like when the tape comes out of the cassette and you would stick a pencil back in or whatever to turn the thing. Yeah. So then I would, so that would be like a big nostalgia section about like how many channels do you think we had.

and I talk about like fuzz and the TV just ending. Yep. I'm not going to ask you how old you are, but are you old enough to remember that you don't remember the TV ending, do you? What do you mean by that? As in like after midnight, there was no TV. Do you remember pre-cable? Yes, because my grandma and grandpa had that.

They still had like a, yes. Yes. It's funny because a few people have said to me, no, that used to be when I went to my grandmother's house. Oh, my God. Well, you're only, what, nine years older than me? That's not. No, I'm 50, yeah. No, no, totally.

But, like, I guess I was about, I was probably like six or seven when we got our first remote. Yeah. Like, I remember getting a remote. I was just talking to my sister this morning about nostalgia because I, and I was also just talking to Stasi on my last podcast about this. I think I'm on my last life. I think I've lived a few lives. Oh, you think you've lived a few lives? Yeah.

And I think this is my last one. And so I. Is this enlightenment? Is that what that means? Yeah. I'm totally enlightened. I am healed. I know exactly who I am.

and what I'm doing in life? No, absolutely not. But I feel like nostalgia, like, does something to me emotionally. I can't, like, handle the emotion it brings up for me. Yes. So my sister always sends me these TikToks of, like, growing up in the 90s. Yes, I love it. Yes. And I get so, I'll cry. I get very emotional. It, like, stays with me, this feeling of, like, the doll that I used to have that lights up and I can smell the doll and I start getting, is that normal? I think it's great. Oh, okay. I mean, I think it's better. Well, as long as it's also, entertaining. Do you find it entertaining? Very much so. Yeah. Like I think I think it's great. Like I love complaining about the internet, social media. But what's so fun about all those videos, which I like I adore them. Yeah. You know, it kind of gives you like a visceral connection back to it. And it's like, sadly what it does is it reminds you how much time has passed. But I think that's it. Yeah. So the joke I have in my new show, I have a joke about how the younger comics are actually quite judgmental of the nostalgia material because they think it's a bit hack. And I say, but that's fine because young people don't understand nostalgia

because they don't need nostalgia because they still have hope. So I say nostalgia. Like that makes me want to cry. I say nostalgia is the spackle that covers the hole where hope used to be. Oh. But no, but it feels good to look back. No, it does. I just think this is my last time.

Looking forward like you start to, you get to a certain age and looking forward. You go, holy shit, I'm close. closer to death than I am to back to the future. Yeah, both, both make me feel some type of way. But I just, even when I was, say, seven years old, my mom would show us home videos from when I was four, and I couldn't watch them because I couldn't handle how much time had passed, and that that version of myself was gone.

I know, but I'm jealous because we have, like, no video. And Camcourt has existed, right? But we were just, like, not that family. Sometimes I see these Netflix documentaries about, like, sometimes, like, horrible docs. But these people have so much footage of... But from the late 70s and early 80s, I'm like, who the hell was filming you?

No, that's so true. My dad used to rent a video camera to then... But you know what I did? This still haunts me. Because we did it too. This haunts me. I know what you're going to say. You do?

Well, you can go. Okay, I had my whole childhood. My family recorded everything on the... And I had VHS tapes. You know, all the tapes. I did what I thought was brilliant, and I made them into DVDs, and I lost them. so all of my childhood memories are gone. Yeah, well, we didn't have many,

but we had one Disney trip from like 1987, and we lost the tape. It haunts me. It is the same. Honestly, I have hardly, I don't even have a lot of pictures, particularly from my adolescence. I have a lot of pictures of my child took

because my mother took a lot of picks. And then we have all those albums. Yeah. But then, like, in adolescence, because I went to Ireland, you know, we didn't have phones with cameras on them. If I have 24, photos from 14 to 20, I'd say that's too many.

I think about this all the time because how overwhelmed are we going to be when we're 90? And if we have, I know you guys aren't going to have kids, but if I... No, we are. Sorry, sorry. Sorry. You're pregnant. No. Hannah's not pregnant.

But no, we are not, we are, we are, we plan to have children. The joke I have is about when I was in my 40. So that joke that did really well. Okay. That was a joke I wrote actually even before I met Hannah. You know, when I was in my 40s and I was single. That's actually how I prefaced that joke just to make sure that it's clear. Because I'm not talking about Hannah and I's decision.

I'm actually talking about at a time where I was single in my 40s and people like panic. They do panic. Yes. I'm 41 and I'm the last of my friends and it hasn't happened and everyone's, what is it going to happen? So have you seen that bit that I did? Yeah. That's what this is on the bridge and tunnel special. Yes, 100%.

Yeah. Okay. Why bridge and tunnel? Why is that the title of it? So you don't know why? Um, I will, I do because I saw it on social media yesterday. Oh, okay. But I want you to explain to everyone.

No, but I'm glad, I'm glad that you didn't know because, so my concern about picking bridge and tunnel as a title was it's a very New York thing. Okay. And I didn't want people to think that the special was just a New York jokes. Even though there's a section of the special that's very New York because this is the first time, most of my career has been in Ireland. Okay. So like, I never really explored like my Queen's childhood. Like, I never mind it for humor. like a lot of that sort of stuff about growing up in Queens.

So this was the first time that I really got confident to like hit that part of my life. So bridge and tunnel, and there's a lot of debate online I've noticed about what bridge and tunnel meant. But when I was a kid, bridge and tunnel was kind of like a demeaning term for the people from the outer boroughs from New Jersey from Long Island that had to come into the city via a bridge or a tunnel. They were considered less cool and they were, you know, they weren't like Manhattan kids. The Manhattan kids were the cool kids. And so it was just one of the potential titles that I thought about the special. But I only picked it when Bruce Springsteen used it when he was talking about Billy Joel. And he called himself Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel, Bridge and Tunnel.

And I was like, all right, I'm owning it. I'm calling it that. I lived in Vancouver for 11 years. And I worked in the restaurant and nightclub industry. And we would hate certain nights when people from the bridge and tunnel would come in because it was like, they're one time to get out. and then they like never tipped and it was like a whole thing.

And do you know the song? Oh no, you know what it is. Black and yellow, black and yellow. Do you know that song? I don't. What? Thank you. Who is it?

Liz Cleef. Oh, yeah. And we used to sing, oh no, you know what it is. Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel. And we would sing that as they were coming in. Yes, because. Oh, I didn't even know there was a song. I should have had that as my walk on.

Yeah, you totally should have. Damn it. That was this one culture. But they sing black and yellow. So you'd have to change the lyrics. Oh, you used to say. say bridge and time. Oh, I got you, I got you. So it wasn't just a New York thing. This happened in Vancouver. I feel like it is... And I think all the big cities, like London, like all these

cities have a thing of like the uncool people come in at the weekends, the nine to five or... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly right. Being judged by people in the hospitality industry, which by the way, I am not... I am not, what's the word? I have been known to be judgmental of a comedy crowd that is a bit bridge and tunnel. I would never use that term. But I have been a snob in my life. I am not saying that I am totally free of judgment of the uncouth. But you know what? I was definitely uncouth growing up. Really? Yeah. Like we really were like Queens kids. Yeah. You know? And like we were actually kind of savages. You know, like we had the what they now call the free range childhood and all that stuff.

But like we really, we were loud and we were like, not disrespectful, but just like I just, I got to, we modeled as children, you know. Yeah. Oh, you did. We modeled for Ford. For my entire... Really? Yeah, from 8 to 12. Wow. So we were in the city all the time. So I was part of why I actually...

Me as in your siblings? Myself, my two brothers, yeah. Okay. So we were in the city all the time. And to be honest, I think part of the reason why I always hated this from Bridgettunnels is because I felt the judgment of the cool... So the cooler modeling kids, they lived in the city. Yeah. And then, like, we would be like these savages that would come in from Queens.

And we were just like, we definitely were less cultured. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I mean, try being from Ladoque, Alberta. I, like, thought going to the big city was going to Edmonton in, like, Calgary. The guy just, I didn't know. That's where my tour finished. Edmonton and Calgary. Really? The last two, what became Bridge and Tunnel shows were Edmonton and Calgary. Were they good crowds? Yeah, they're great. I feel like Canadians love country music and comedians. I'll perform in a mall in Edmonton any time. Did you do West Edmonton Mall? I heard that's a weird show. No, West Avenue. I had a good time. And I loved staying in the West Edmonton Mall because I never left. It wasn't even that cold out, but I never left the mall. It's like five hockey rinks in the mall.

There is. A pirate ship. There's also a whole water park in there. Inside, which I was going to go to, but then it's just the way it worked out, I'd have enough time. Because a little fun fact about me, I love water parks and I love roller coasters. Oh, did you go on the, you didn't go on the mind bender? I didn't, no. Oh.

They took it out. Oh, did they? Recently, yeah. It's my favorite thing. There's no shame in being from Edmonton or wherever other part of Alberta. or from the bridge and tunnel places. You can't see me right now, but I'm bowing down. I feel like health care workers are just one of those groups of people who don't get enough credit.

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Okay, so what made you decide to do a special now? Honestly, like, so I did one two years ago. Yeah. Because now it's just so much easier to just like do one before. you had to kind of wait. And in Ireland, you know, I've had a very, like, successful career in Ireland, made a lot of specials. But like, I was always making them because, like, people were like, des, we want a special from you. Like the powers that be. Right. The way the industry used to work. Yeah. Yeah. And in this modern era, particularly like post-pandemic, you know, all the comics have

the ability to just, like, get a small budget and make it for themselves and put it up on YouTube or somewhere else. So the first time that I finally did it, after like touring the States a bit, it was really like made a difference to my career. Yeah. Like it was kind of night and day from before the special and after in the United States. Oh, really? Oh, my God. Like, yeah, like I started selling like a lot of tickets.

That's awesome. So that was like amazing. So when the next tour then, you have to write a new show. So I basically toured that for like two years. So eventually you go like, it's time to move on from this. Yeah, yeah. So I recorded it. That's cool.

And that's basically what a lot of us do now. Yeah. And you said it's on Hulu and YouTube. People can watch it. Yeah. Well, the funny thing was. was I recorded it last year originally just to put it on YouTube. Yeah.

With a pretty basic spec. Yeah. But very, like, very late in the process, because I was basically about to put it on YouTube, very late in the process. We got this unique situation where Hulu were interested in it. But it had to be done fast, number one, and two, it had to be reshot. Oh. It wasn't good enough spec for them. Got it.

Which we weren't going to do until they agreed that I could also put it up on my YouTube. after two weeks of exclusivity on Hulu. So in the end, between the jigs and the reels, as we say in Ireland, it made sense to do that. That's cool. So some people see it on Hulu and some people see it on my YouTube. How do you know what crowd is going to be the best to use it for a special? Like what cities to go to, what crowds to use, or you don't? You don't, but in my situation, I just picked the practicality of the comedy seller,

which is partially because that room is awesome. Yeah. And the crowds are always good, but also because the people at the comedy seller, are very accommodating for us, which I'm very grateful for. Particularly this time when we re-recorded it. I recorded at the seller last year. Then we organized the re-recording in 10 days. Oh, wow.

Shout out to Liz at the comedy seller who put all that together. So anyway, a lot of the time, just say like in Ireland when I picked places, honestly, again, I tend to pick them out of practicality for me, like the places I just have the most connections to, like, get all the gear in and all that stuff. But there are certain cities that are more prone to have awesome crowds. Yeah, I've heard this, which, I mean, it makes sense. I feel like there's sleepy cities. Well, yeah, and there's just ones where, like, Toronto, by the way, is one of the best comedy towns.

And I don't know why that is. But they just, the tickets sell faster. The crowds are just awesome. You know what? I even felt that for one of my live podcast tours. Yeah, it's just one of those weird things. By the way, a lot of the American comics talk about how when they go to Ireland, they're shocked at how good the crowds are. Like, Ireland is also one of those places that is just very naturally warm.

Yeah. Where did this curiosity come for you to, like, travel and learn these languages? Oh, that? Yeah. Because you lived— Okay, first of all, am I dumb for not knowing Ireland speaks a different language? No, you're not dumb because it's not a widely spoken language. Okay.

Irish Americans know because, like, I think as a kid, you're sort of told, like— How does it say it starts with the G? Well, in America, they say Gaelic. Yeah. Actually, in the Irish language, and there are many dialects, this is like a great debate, but for the sake of the Irish people who get annoyed when Americans say Gaelic, in Irish Gaelic, it's Gweig, that's actually how you say it. And then in English, it's Irish.

Got it. So what happens is when Irish people say, oh, I speak Irish, then Americans correct them and say, do you mean Gaelic? But actually, it's Gwelgael. but in English, it's Irish. But nonetheless, it's a minority language. Yeah. But it is actually the official language of Ireland.

It is. But unfortunately, they had an unsuccessful, like when Ireland got its independence in 1920 or the beginning of independence, they basically made Greilga the national language, but they didn't implement enough policies to like truly turn it into like a properly bilingual nation. Got it. Like, say, the Netherlands. Yeah.

And unfortunately, the language exists in a very weird, complicated, controversial position. But there are still parts of Ireland where they speak Irish as their first language, like on a daily basis, like as a living language. So the first language thing that I did was I made a television series for Irish TV where I went to the Gweltacht, as they call it, where they speak the language still. And I lived there for a year to learn enough Gweilga to do stand-up in Irish. So you, like, fully immerse yourself in places, learn the language, and then perform it. in that language. Yes, but for television. I do want to point out that, like,

I was always doing these things, knowing that they were going on TV. And particularly at that time, in the entertainment industry, like, you had to make TV shows. Yeah. Now, don't get me wrong, I loved it. And they were all actually really life-changing.

But I had a budget and I had time. It wasn't like, I was like, I'm taking a year out of my life to learn this language. Like, I was doing it, but also knowing that it was going to go on TV. But when you moved to Ireland, was it for comedy and TV? No, no, I went to Ireland for education.

I went to have 14. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 14 would have been a wild age to move somewhere for that. I was a boarding school. I got it, got. You got it kicked out of school. Yeah, my mother was panicking. But actually, like, in my show, I joke and say she sent me to Ireland, but actually, like,

my mother was just panicked that I was going to end up, like, in real trouble. Yeah, yeah. You know? Were your brothers like that, too, or just you? None of us drink anymore. Okay. Like, our family in general, our extended family, like, genetically, who knows? I don't have the science, but like, it's just not meant to be for us in the booze.

Like, who knows? And one day they'll figure that out 100%. So anyway, my mother just, we're from a long line of them, by the way, goes right back to the depths of the Irish countryside, a long line of people that struggle with booze. A lot of Irish people, though, do, don't they? That's like part of the culture. Yeah, well, that's the joke is you don't have to be Irish to be an alcoholic, but it helps. But, like, there's some stereotypes, but then there's also just, who knows? Needless to say, my mother was a child of an alcoholic. She had stopped drinking herself. She had a lot of paranoia.

Yeah. So in the midst of her panicking that I was going completely off the rails, a cousin of mine had suggested to me while she was visiting from Ireland, why wouldn't you go to boarding school in Ireland? Because the joke is, of course, of all the countries. But in all seriousness and stuff, from an education point of view, Ireland is a very good education. And boarding school was like really affordable. So I thought it was the best thing ever because I was like very discontented with myself in general. Like my adolescence were not like, we're not my, my shining time. So I had a lot of my own, like, stuff going on.

So I was like, this would be great. Like, get the hell out of here. You know, and so my mother looked into it, my parents. And then in the end, six weeks later, I went to Ireland from a random suggestion. That wasn't like a long-term plan. That would be a very scary age to be like, the fact that you were like, yeah, let's get the hell out of here. At 14, I'd be like, mom, I'm scared. Well, that'll tell you what my head was at.

Oh, yeah. It wasn't great. I had a few, like, I had a few, like, bullying. I just had a, it just wasn't a good year, like my transition into. American High School. So from, from grammar school. Yeah. And needless to say, I think it was the best thing I ever did, but it comes with the caveat of, I still don't think it's great to leave. Yeah, sure. I think there's, there was probably positives and negatives. I think the positives outweigh the negatives because I think I got a better education from the school itself, from boarding school,

from being an all-boys school, all these things were like suited me. Boarding school, all boys, like less distractions. And then the other thing, which I wasn't getting from school, but just like suddenly being in a different culture and having to adapt. Yeah. Being in Europe, you know, just like you get like a broader worldview naturally. That's, yeah, that's what I was thinking when I was talking about, like, for a 14 year old to go move, like, of course there's pros and cons, but to just like, I feel like that would grow, like you'd learn so much and adapt and like see the world. I feel like that's, traveling even as an adult has changed me and made me a better person. 100%.

And back then you used to hear it more, but people used to say a lot that like traveling is like as much of an education as going to school. And I do think that's the case. Like you're just naturally going to get like a more worldly view. But also I think as a teenager like having to fit in to like stay up staying with my cousins at the weekend and having to like make all these new friends. Like that was a tough thing for a teenager. but like for me because I was able to do it, I think it stood to me for the rest of my life.

Yeah. In terms of like fitting in. Yeah, no, totally. And then you learn the language and then you're like, that's not enough. I'm going to go to China. Well, that came way later. I mean, like in fairness, the Irish language thing. So in Ireland, it's a compulsory subject.

Yeah. You have to take it. Oh, okay. But I was exempt because I only came to Ireland when I was 14. So I watched all my classmates struggle because it's a tough language, especially the way they teach it in school in Ireland. So I watched them struggle. So I always had this thought of like, I wonder what it would be like to have that experience.

Yeah. So that's why I made the TV show. The Chinese thing was basically after that was successful, like after I was able, after it turns out I was adept at learning languages because I wasn't at school. I was bad at language. Yeah, sure. And then that makes no sense. So then I was immersed when you're immersed and you're like living it, I found that I was

actually quite good at languages and good at like the accents and just like, you know, getting an ear for the language. So then I had had a separate fascination with China for numerous reasons. I won't bore you at the long. story because it literally would be the whole podcast. But needless to say, in 2008, the Beijing Olympics was coming up. So that's when I pitched like, hey, now we've done this. Why don't we take it to the next level? And I'll do China because I wanted to make a documentary series about what China's like with this hook of can I learn Mandarin and do stand-up in Mandarin in China.

But it took five years to get that project off the ground. So I actually only ended up going in 2013. But you learned to Mandarin. Well, that was the good. That was. That was. was the mission. You go there with none, and then after a year you do stand-up. This is a six-part series. And how did it go? I mean, it went great. You can watch. That series is on YouTube. It's called Breaking China. Okay, you can watch it on you. I was going to ask. Yes, except for the last episode, which flags because there's footage from a Chinese show, which that gets, you know, YouTube takes it down. Yeah. But I, the rest of it, the rest of it is fine. But anyway, episode six is on, on my website, on my punchup.com. But anyway, I'm not, people can watch it or not. I'm actually not trying to push it. But what I am

is it exists. It's a six-part series. That's so cool. But the hook is, let's follow this guy trying to do this challenge. Yeah. But actually, the series is driven by how interesting China is, but more importantly, like, how entertaining, interesting, and like how much you learned about Chinese people. Yeah. You know?

And I think that's a good, like, it was a good thing. The world was then and still is becoming more and more sort of concerned about China. But whether you're concerned or not, it's definitely better to like understand the people like in a human way rather than the like they're the problem kind of way. Well, yeah, of course. But that's the easy way you did it the way that's. Yeah, I, we were distinctly nonpolitical in the show. I don't hide the fact that I can't stand the Chinese government. And I like for a lot of my life have like hated the way that they treat some of the minority groups, Tibet and Xinjiang.

Like all these things like I detest. But at the same time, the series it's. I really wanted to focus on the Chinese people because everything about China focuses on those other things. But nobody was focusing on the people. So the series is about the people, about the humor and about, it's, you're trying to use humor as a, the cheesy way. It would be like, I'm using humor as a bridge between cultures.

Of course. But the humor is also a fun way to understand a little bit. I actually want to go watch that. I know you're not trying to push it, but I'm like, oh, I'm, it's a good watch. Everybody that actually watches it goes, you know what, that was a good watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to watch that. What is the hardest language to be funny in? I don't know. I only know the Guelga. I know Chinese and I'm learning Spanish. Yeah, I'm like, you're learning Spanish.

You know four languages. I don't think any language is hard to be funny in actually. Really? And I don't think that there's actually like certain senses of humor really. I think, sorry, I think there's many types of senses humor. I don't think any culture really has a specific one. I think they more just have ones that they're exposed to. Yeah, sure. But you have to know. Yeah, but I think that like the one thing I will say about like which language. is easier or harder. I would say any language is hard to be funny in when you're trying to take your jokes from one language and translate it into another. Yeah. Translation is hard. Sure. But I am more of a natural storyteller. Storytelling, particularly about the experiences

that you're having while learning the language or the experiences that you're having while you're there. Yeah. So you're telling stories about things these people know about. That's actually a lot easier than trying to translate an already existing joke. That's fair. What do you think the biggest lesson you've learned from traveling to all these places and figuring it out along your way? What's the biggest lesson that you've learned? Well, I think that like, God, I don't know about the biggest.

You're constantly being a beginner and learning in so many different situations. Yeah. I mean, well, one thing I learned about China is Chinese people are way warmer and more hospitable than perhaps their reputation. Really? a bit cold and a bit abrupt. A little bit of that has to do with the translate. Their grammar is actually way simpler.

So I think sometimes when they speak English, they speak with a simple grammar that people can misconstrue as like abruptness. But also, in general, I don't know, like I just think the thing I learned from these few things that I've done is like, everybody has way more in common than they think. And I think when you think about other cultures from a distance or you sort of like wonder what other cultures are like, you tend to focus more on the differences,

and even people find the differences, the immediate source of like entertainment. But actually, when you spend some time there, you find that it's just way more in common than otherwise. Well, another area of life where you have to be motivated and constantly learning and adapting is marriage. And I'm obsessed with your wife. Yes, where we met through Hannah originally.

Yes, we did. And I think a lot of people, she is, the whole the Botox thing right now is so funny. shocking, you know, it's a, well, you make, what is it, lemonade out of lemons? Yeah. It's quite funny. I mean, the thing is that it's very annoying and she had a big job coming up and that was quite stressful, but she managed to figure that out. And once you get past the inconvenience of it, yeah. It is quite funny. Yeah, she's, she is making lemonade out of lemon. That's for sure. And like,

you know, she's like a naturally like laughy person. Yeah, yeah. So you, you get, would say. You get the giggly. So you get that face like a lot that she's currently sporting. How long is it? Well, I should know this. What about six weeks, six to eight weeks for it to wear off? No, it's going to be longer than that because that's what she's at right now.

Oh, shit. Honestly, they say three months, but like worst case scenario is six. So for people who don't know, I'm sure you do, though, she got Botox for TMJ and her jaw. Yeah, and her massators. Masseters, yeah. I'd never heard of any of this before. Oh, I'm quite familiar. but when Hannah first did it, because this is a third time.

It's not like she hasn't done it successfully in the past. But, I mean, again, the injector does not know the anatomy under your face. Like, they can't know. Well, in this case, the injector definitely didn't. Yeah, definitely didn't. I mean, Hannah's talked about it, but she had a feeling that this injector wasn't confident enough. Oh, shit. But, you know, classic, like, like, I find it very hard to, like, give food back that's, like, substandard.

Like, I'm not good like that. Yeah. And I think Hannah's a little bit like that, too. She's like, don't are you able to. No, but she wanted to. to like not go through with it. Yeah. She was like too polite.

Oh. You know what I mean? Yes. Because the girl was like asking questions in a way that was like, Hannah was like, I don't know if she's like confident enough. That's so sweet that she just kept going, but also so so relatable because what it was, um, I went to some guy who colored my hair one time who just did a horrible job. It was literally, I think it's orange right now, so don't mind that.

But it was bright orange. And I walked out and I was trying not to cry, but I still let him sell me on a shampoo. Really? And I was like, twitching my lip, try not to cry. And I was like, sure, I'll buy the shampoo because he seemed so passionate about it. And then I walked out and I just started bawling. I have never, in all my days, told a barber that I am not happy with a haircut, despite the fact that probably 30% of the time, I am dissatisfied. Really? Yeah, I just, I can't do it. So I appreciate the struggles that you went

through. Yeah, thank you. Now, what I will say, though, is that like, for women, like, for me, I just know it's going to grow back. So it's not that. But for you, I would think it's quite, that's a, that's a, that's traumatic. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Especially if it's paralyzing your face too. And you're in the public eye. Yeah. No, I'm talking about your hair. Oh, me. Oh, thank you. Oh, it's okay. You're in the public eye. So that, that can be stressful. Yeah. It was, I mean. No, but Hannah's thing was actually stressful. She had a big gig coming up. No, that is so stressful. She probably had to smile for the gig. Well, it's not like it was just radio and you can see your face. They worked it out. They worked it out. But anyway, I mean, the thing is that now it's become quite funny and she posted something very

funny because Trump was making fun of Caitlin Collins. Yes. Which is a weird obsession that he has. Yeah. And so Hannah posted the audio on that. You know, you know, if I was there, I'd be like I, because Giggly Squad, once Hannah was able to talk about it publicly, like Giggly Squad. Did she call out the injector?

Yeah, they had, they've had a conversation. Okay. But anyway, I'm of the opinion that Hannah should show more. Yeah. Because the smiling thing is very funny. But we are all looking forward to it also being over. Yes, I am for her. That would stress me out.

For someone who is known to be giggly and not be able to smile, that would really, like, I would panic. Yeah, well, actually, I mean, I don't want to speak for her, but the thing that she actually finds the most difficult is meeting people for the first time. Yeah. And you just assume that they think you're being a bitch. Yeah, yeah. You know, so like, but you also don't want to get into like a long story.

Like, sorry. You know, like, you know, like, you know, sorry. Right. You know, so it can be, the good news is when Giglars come up in the house for a photo, Hannah will always be like, sorry, I can't smile. They're like, oh, we know. Yeah, they're like, we actually love this for us. Yeah.

I want a photo with her not being able to smile just for the memories, you know? But one thing I think people forget is that you and Hannah met right before both of your worlds got crazy. Like you guys met before she went off to Summerhouse. Just before. Yeah. Like days before. That's crazy. So was that when the pandemic?

was happening too. It was in the pandemic. Yeah. So you guys kept your relationship somehow through it all, which must have been a crazy time. I mean, you know, I don't really talk about it that much because like, as you know, reality TV and reality are like. Oh, I've talked to Hannah about how unrealistic that whole. Well, you know, but I and I do not talk about it because I never watched it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like I, so I only know the experience that. we had versus the experience as it gets portrayed. Of course. So I would say that it wasn't half as crazy as one would think, you know. I agree. And, you know, we, and by the way, like, I think I've been making television for like a long time. So, like, meeting Hannah, but knowing that she was going into that situation, which I've done too, like, where you're just, like, you're stepping away from your life to go into this, like, television situation.

Like, I was very aware that, like, we met. We had, you know, we had a good connection. But, like, she was going in there. Yeah. And the good news was that through that experience, which actually the fact that like she wasn't having like the best time probably was like bonding us a bit more because I was like one of the people she was talked to throughout that whole process. Yeah. And thank God you understand. Yeah. And so, you know, when it was when that filming thing was over and we could properly like, you know, like have a like a relationship, it all like it all went pretty fast. But what I will say is I knew straight away when I met her that like she was like, I mean the one, I don't know.

I don't believe in like the word the one. Right. But like I was pretty confident that this was going to be a successful relationship. You know, you guys, what was it, a coffee date, right? Yeah, we ended up going for lunch. But like the actual ask was, do you want to get coffee in Sanct Harbor? Yeah. And but so I picked her up in my car and from the ferry because she was staying with her parents in Shelter Island.

And like before we got to Sag Harbor, if you know North Haven to Sag Harbor, it's like 10 minute drive max. Like I literally by the end of the car ride was like, wow, this girl's. But of course, like, of course I was attracted to her all that. But we were having a laugh from the get go. Yeah, yeah. From the get go. That's sweet. And not just for me.

Irish people in general find the crack really important, as we call it, like having fun with somebody. And I think it's the same with Hannah. So the fact that we were both connecting over just like having fun. being silly straight away. I was feeling pretty good. Well, how did you guys get set up? Because she had seen you do stand-up before you guys even met, correct?

Yeah, but so the reason why that matters is because I think I saw her on Nikki Glazer's story. I can't verify because I don't remember why I started following her, but I have a vague recollection that she was like in a car with Nikki and they like made a story. And I'm like pretty good friends with Nikki Glazer.

So I saw her and I was like, oh, she's cute. So I just followed her. Yeah. like professional follow. I've never dated a comic, by the way. So, like, it wasn't like I was like on the hunt for dating comics. I was just like, oh, cute comic.

I followed her. And I didn't think much of it other than she would pop up on my stories from time to time. I could see that she was on some, like, show, because I guess season four was on, I guess, of Summerhouse. But I actually thought it was like an MTV show. I actually wasn't that familiar with, like, the Bravoverse at that time. I didn't even know that real housewise was a Bravo show. Oh.

The only Bravo show I knew about was the people's couch, because, a kid I grew up with Scott and Evans was on the people's couch. Really? Yeah, that was like the only Bravo show I knew about. That's hilarious. Right? Shout out Scott and Evans, very, very funny, entertaining guy. Anyway, so during the pandemic, then the whole world shut down, and a lot of her videos

were showing up. So, you know the way somebody can just like, then they're always in your stories? And I was like checking out these videos. And then one day I saw that she was out in the Hamptons, as was I. And then I checked. And she was following me, which I did not realize. She followed me back straight away when I followed her. I hadn't noticed.

Okay. So as it turns out, she followed me back when I followed her because she had seen me numerous years before, but I was talking about living in Ireland. Yeah. So she tells the story that she was like, oh, he's cute, but he lives in Ireland. Right. So she didn't think much of it. And then she also, by the way, wasn't a comedian. Then she wasn't even working in batches yet.

She was still working in just like a marketing job after she had given up tennis, yeah. And while she was in Summerhouse and all that? No, this was years before. Oh, years before. Oh, yeah. She saw me on stage years before all that. So then she followed, when I saw she followed me, that's when I asked her out on that date. Got it.

Yeah. That's sweet that in 10 minutes you had that feeling. Yeah, but it was a weird time because it was the pandemic. And, you know, like she was worried about going into summer house. So, like, there was all stuff about social distancing. You know, so it was weird because they were going in there to be locked down. Yeah, yeah. That was the only year where that happened.

Yeah. So they were going in there to be like in lockdown. So it was basically like we had a few dates and then she was disappearing. Was it hard at all, though, to see. her like becomes such a center of so much attention and conversation and criticism, was that hard for you? I mean, it wasn't ideal. Yeah. It was quite stressful.

Yeah, I bet. But, you know, here's the thing, right? Like, you know, like the world of online and the way that you can become like a target of ire unmatched, it is like a weird occupational hazard these days. and you have to just, I think in that situation, you have to just try your best to know who you are in real life and to like just like keep the head down, which is what she did, you know? She was like, okay, that journey is over, the summer house journey.

And she really put the head down and was like 100% committed. She was already a stand-up comedian by that stage, but like she fully committed to being a stand-up comedian, but also committed to like making funny videos and all the stuff that she did. I mean, it was like it was a major success. Oh my gosh, 100%. I feel like you both have strong personalities, successful careers. So how do you make sure, now this is me projecting because I get competitive even in relationships.

How do you make sure your teammates instead of competitors? Yeah, it's interesting the competition thing because I've seen it. I realized though when I was feeling that way, it wasn't the right relationship. Well, you know, Hannah and I, we do not. have that. Yeah. Like in fairness. Um, I think it's possibly because I'm a bit old. Like, I think maybe when I was younger, I might have been. That's very fair. I don't mean because I'm older than her. I just mean like as a old, like I, like, I'm just very happy for her to be successful. So I don't feel that competition thing. But I remember years ago, I don't know, a long time ago

now, I was in a relationship where I think we might have had a little bit of that stuff. But we were, It wasn't comedy. It was a different part of the arts, but maybe I felt that energy. But I don't feel it with Hannah, but I do see it in some relationship. I've experienced it. And then the older I get,

I think it just you don't want. Why would you ever want anything except for success for that person? Especially when you're married and you go like, well, your success is my life better. Yeah. That's not why though, by the way.

But it helps. But like it helps. And it's like a silly thing to be like. Honestly, it comes back to the thing we literally started joking about early on, particularly from the male side, there can be this sense of an insecurity if, you know, your wife is really successful and like all these things, as if somehow that has anything to do with you at all. Yeah.

That's the thing. Yeah. It has nothing to do with me. Exactly. You know? Other than we have a good symbiosis because we're good at different things in that, like, I just naturally have been doing stand-up longer. So I have a little bit of the wisdom of all the good and the bad things that you come across, right?

And I'm good at, like, thinking about writing a new show and just shit that I've done, like, a lot of times, right? Yeah. Hannah's really good at social media. Also, she's really good at knowing, like, the right stuff to be thinking about. I know. You know what I mean? So, like, that's been very helpful to me. So we actually have like a symbiosis.

In fact, stand-up comedians can be a bit, there's a weird bravado in stand-up comedy about like, you know, doing it on your own, which then completely disappears. If you go and make a sitcom, everybody's all for collaboration. Yeah. But for some reason with stand-up comedy, there's this like an antipathy towards collaboration, which is so counterproductive. I know.

You know? So in actual fact, in terms of Hannah and I's marriage, Like, we have natural collaboration, which really works for us. I don't know if maybe other comedy couples, but the ones that I know, actually, they all seem to not be very competitive. The ones that are don't last. Well, that's just it. It's the wrong relationship if you're feeling that way. And I've seen that, though.

But also, okay, so I think I have a better answer. Just from talking about it. I think it's also because when you're younger, your identity is so wrapped up in your job and success. Yeah. And I think as you get older, you start to realize that a lot of the things, the, the list changes of importance of what matters because you realize that so many things are fickle, flippant, and they don't give you the things you expected them to give you.

So true. So if you're in, in your younger and you're, you're, you're, you're so desperate for this success, you almost, it almost becomes like one of those comedians that you're jealous of because if somebody else is getting success, then you feel like, like you're not getting it. Yes. That gets better as you get older. I agree. Oh, well, for me, anyway. No, I totally agree. Okay, we all know this feeling when your to-do list is so long. You don't even know where to start. Oh, I feel like that right now, actually. Work appointments, catching up with friends, remembering to drink enough water. Life is nonstop. And if you throw

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helps you get it done so you can get back to literally everything else. So join the millions of happy renters. Find your next home at Apartments.com, the place to find a place. Now, I don't know if I got this wrong. Did you guys not talk publicly about choosing not to have kids? We did not talk. So that was just the bit that you did from your early 40s. Yes.

Oh, so it has, so that was just, and now you guys possibly do want to. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, like, no hits just yet. But, no, we're not. And I think kind of, you know, we definitely don't, we're actually, we don't talk about our relationship much at all. Really? We talk about things in relation to like the job and, because, you know, it comes back to

the reality thing is it's like, the more you commodify your life, like, the more you, it's out there for people to like, and trust me, I'm not against it. My dad got sick. I made a show about it. My mother died. I made a show about it. I am not afraid of talking about aspects of my life, but I make a decision on what I'm happy to put out there in the public realm and what I'm not.

So needless to say, we don't talk that much about stuff like having kids and all that. But like we are definitely going to at least try to have kids. Yeah. Wonderful. It was never discussed that we, you know, we weren't going to have them. Got it. Okay. It just came from.

I mean, I think I probably said in the past that I had come to an age and a time where I, assumed that I wasn't going to have kids. But I also wasn't sure I was going to settle down with anybody either. Exactly. And how long have you guys been together now? Well, we met in 2020. We got married in 2022. Amazing.

And now you just turned 50. When did you turn 50? November. Yeah, I just feel like the world is so different. Like, Jen and Jackson had a baby at 52. Like, you know? Well, Hannah's going to be 35, like two weeks. She's young.

So she's got, she's got a decent window. Yeah, she does. I froze my eggs at 32. and I feel like now I'm like that was so young. Like I hope I have a baby at 42. Yeah, we never, because we're married, we never got into the freezing because we were figuring like, you know, we're not, we're going to be, we're going to be getting that.

No one never really thinks about that. Getting that soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Have you ever seen the movie, this is 40? I did. Very, very funny opening scene where she's like, did you take a Viacra? Yeah.

Yeah. I was watching it the other day and I was like, oh, this is so, because I saw it. I think like 10 years ago or whatever it came out. And then I watched it recently. And I was like, this is so funny how relatable it is. Yeah, well, you need to watch it at the right time. Yeah, maybe not the Viagra part. Yeah.

So Paul Root's in that too, right? Yes. And what's that actresses' name? Jet Appetal's White. Leslie. Leslie, oh, that's terrible. Of course, so Jeddapiteau's White. What a.

Massagin ass. But I'm very embarrassed to say that. Leslie Mann? Yes, yes. Yes. She's so funny. So I remember really enjoying that the time. No, I did too. But I would need a rewatch on it. I remember watching it and going,

I hope that's not me. And then the other day we were at a club where we went out in Vegas and I was like, are we too old to be here? And then I was like, oh my God, it's happening. Well, I actually posted a clip about that. Like, you never realized like that this is probably going to be the last time in the club. And then you're not in the club for 10 years. And you're like, oh, shit, I wish I had marked the day. But then I got a lot of messages from people being like, you're never too old to go to the club. Because I actually like, Hanna doesn't really love going out dancing, but I actually really like going out of dancing. We've totally, we've gotten out of the habit completely. But like, I would enjoy finding like a place where you didn't feel like a weirdo being at

the club and boogeying. Do you know where I felt like I was surrounded by my people was the Backstreet Boys concert in Vegas the other day? I was like, I was giggling to myself because they were doing this thing like, let me hear you say, oh, oh, and I'm like, that is such a millennial thing. And everyone was raising the roof, and we were all, like, screaming at these grown men, just like, like, I felt like a child again. It was like my 14-year-old self came out, and I was just like, and I just looked around, and I remember being like, this is amazing. Everybody was wearing white because they wear white for the millennial tour or whatever they did. And everyone was raising the roof, and it just, I was like, this is my club. Yes.

I danced so hard. But the thing is that that's pure nostalgia. Pure nostalgia. I often think, because I loved raving. I actually loved raving. Like, I liked dance music culture. Yeah. Nice.

And I often, so apparently there's like daytime raves now where older people go. I have not found them, but I, I need to go. Would you go? I need to go. But I need to go with some people. Well, yeah, of course. But what would a daytime rave look like? Are people like pop in Molly?

Popin hyiprofen is what I would say. That's what I'll be pro. I'll be popping. whatever anti-inflammatory I can get my hand. That's how I felt at Backstreet Boys. Everyone was like, oh, because the sphere is just so like there's like, it's coming at you and everyone's like, did you do anything? I was like, I didn't need to.

If I was on something, I would have been like scared. I would have been like in a corner. I felt high and drunk just being there. Yeah. I mean, I don't take anything anymore. I haven't taken anything since 1995. But I would be taking like ibuprofen and Red Bull. Red Bull is like my, that's as high as I get.

You don't drink either. Or Celsius or any of these. No, I haven't drank since it's 95. Good for you. That's amazing. Yeah, 31 years. Wow, that's really, my dad's 35 years sober. Is he?

Yeah. I don't know if you do AA. I know it's supposed to be anonymous, but I like that more people are open about it. But he just says like, God, I wish people didn't have to have a problem to go there because it changed his life. Yeah. Now, I very involved recovery guy. But. Amazing.

I would say one of the things I talk about sometimes is that, In the early days, particularly because I was young, but I was in with like a good core group of young guys that were like clean and sober. And we really thought that like we were a unique specimen that struggled and we couldn't be like normal people because we needed all this help to just function as normal human beings. But what I do, because I totally identify what your dad is saying and I've literally said the same thing. But what I would say is that in the modern day, a lot more of the general populace speak with the same like necessities. for help that we all spoke about in the rooms. So I actually think that that in the broader mental health conversation, everything sounds a bit more like what meetings used to sound like.

Yeah. You know, so I think your dad actually got that wish in a way that more people like that. What more people don't get is an organic community to be part of, which is A.A. is, or so, because apparently one of the great things that drives people to addiction is a lack of feel it belonging. Yes, absolutely. So one of the many things, because I'm not too into the magical part of what AA promises,

but what I am into is the sense that you suddenly feel like you belong and you suddenly feel like you are not alone. Yes. And that is very powerful. I agree. There is a complete loneliness, like epidemic happening. And there was also another study because drinking levels have gone down. But then they started saying that people, like, people.

people don't go out as much and that the loneliness is actually worse for your depression than just if you are able to have a social beverage or whatever it is. But the loneliness is really the problem. And I feel like community in every sense of the world is so important to people that you don't realize it until you have it. And that's, we live in a like isolation friendly environment. And people think they have friends online, but it's another problem. Parascial relationships.

We get right back into the beginning of our conversation where. people just get stuck in these kind of like dangerous places online where they feel a sense of belonging in a place that doesn't have all the other benefits that social interaction gives you. Exactly. You know, that's you get into the anxious generation and all these things. But like all those conversations are really important. My only fear is that the power of the progress of the, you know, online stuff and AI, like I fear that we will lose the battle.

I just hope that we'll figure out what we need to do to survive. But I feel like it's very hard to create regulation or even just the impetus for people to be like, we have no choice. We have to socialize in real life more for the sake of humanity. I agree. I totally agree. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. So sometimes on Burnaphone will do advice episodes. Burnifone works podcast that I was doing with Hannah, but it's just me now.

So people message in like voice notes. And if we do an advice episode, almost guaranteed there will be one but often way more. I just move to a new city. How do I make new friends? And I always say, like, well, you have to join a club. You have to think about something you like and you have to join a club, right? But it's more than just about meeting new friends. It's like essential because it can be very easy to just suddenly be on your own and live the online life.

And then, you know, you really are susceptible to a lot of like mental health concerns. No, I get stuck in my own bubble of I love being alone. I don't want new friends. Like, it's an issue that I actually, I'm like, I think it's healthy. And then I realize, I don't need to, like, bring people into my life and, like, have new best friends. But I do need to just get out and meet people and talk to people and have faith in humans again. Yes. You know, like, I joined a golf club like nearly 10 years ago now out in West Hampton.

I'm really aging. You know, I'm showing myself to be like an old man. But I have a lot of guys, really good friends that I did not. not know 10 years ago. And now they're like a big part of my life. Because you found them doing something you love to do. Yeah. And I do think that that's good. Like, so I always think about my dad, right? So my dad immigrated to the United States in his mid-30s. Yeah. He only met my mother when he was like, no, actually I take it back because they got married when I guess he was 39 when he had me. They got married in 1973. So anyway, definitely his early 30s, right?

Obviously, I never knew my dad's other life, but he always lived in Ireland and in the UK, right? every single friend that as far as I was concerned was my dad's whole life were people that he met in his 30s at the earliest. Yeah. All those guys, great men, right? So it's like you think your life is like set in stone, but you have no idea. I know hardly anybody from my dad's 20s, early 30s, like almost none. Yeah. And they were everything.

Yeah. No, it's interesting. I was just talking about this with somebody else too, about like I met one of my best friends in my life at, I think I was 35. And I just like, I was like, I feel like I've known her my whole life. And there's just people you can either connect with or click with or then there's just like the golf course buddies where you don't need to. But when you're around them and you're doing something you love, it's fun. It's nice to have these people in your life. It's essential.

The problem is, do people feel enough impunity to know. know that it's like really important to at least try. Yeah. I'm also aware of different personality types. I get it. I'm not saying that everybody's the same, but I do think that, you know, I do think it's one of the things that's probably more serious right now in society than people give it credit for. Yeah. I agree. And I, you know, I obviously it's easy in comedy to joke about how free we were as kids to like play unattended, but like all these things that we're missing out on now in terms of just like the way younger people interact and figure things out for themselves. But then also when we're older, the way that we just don't have to make as much of an effort to do so

many things. Like, the downside to that is that I do think that we're isolating too much. Yeah, 100%. So hopefully from today's podcast, we can save the world. Yeah, you know what? We could save the world. I think this is the podcast that's going to do it. By telling people they need to play mahjong, not online.

I just learned how to play mahjong with my friend's mom. It's all the rage. I love it so much. I don't play it, by the way. but it is all the rage. I want to go take lessons because, again, that's going to take... Hannah's taking lessons. Does she take private lessons or does she go somewhere?

She takes them virtually online. Oh, cool. So that's something that you can do. But I mean, even just that, like, doing something, that's such a, like, simple, you know, like a game. You're just learning a game and it takes you off of your... Well, if you're doing it online, that's different. But, like, to get away from our devices and to not just scroll to go do something with other people is... I like that you say essential.

I think that's a good word to you. So you know when you were saying earlier about how you see nostalgic stuff and you get a little emotional? You know what makes me emotional? What? Marjong. During the winter, I was in a Starbucks in Port St. Lucie, Florida. I had just stopped in, no, sorry, a Panera bread. I take it back.

And I was just having like a soup. And so apparently they have like a chess club in Panera. It's open. Oh, I don't know. And they play chess. Cool. And I watched minimum four generations of people. were just, and there was obviously one or two people that were like the people that like

organized. And all these people were playing chess and they were talking to each other when they were waiting for a game and they were talking. And I actually nearly started crying because I was like, how cool is this that these people have found each other? Yeah. And I, you know, I'd be into more stuff like that, not just chess clubs, but just like more efforts to try to like get people together in organic ways where they can just interact. Well, you are doing that. Are you not on tour right now for comedy? Oh, yeah, but that's, people coming to the show. Yeah, but I still think to bring people into a room to just laugh together is so healing. Oh, yeah, it's great. It's very selfish, though, because I get, it's literally my drug.

Yeah, but that's, what a wonderful drug. Laughter and helping other people laugh. Like, laughter is medicine, and you're bringing people all together to just giggle and have a good time. Well, the therapist would say it's the adoration of strangers and maybe not as much of a healthy. Well, both can be true at once, Your therapist would also probably say that both can be true. But where can people find tour dates to come and find you? Well, my tour is on my website, desbishop.net. Don't make fun of me. I lost it.com.

You're trying to sell it back to me for like a gazillion. You are so fifted. Gzillion dollars. So, but I also have a punchup. Dot live page, which is actually where the dates are. My Instagram at Desbishop, all the stuff is there. And all that stuff you can watch on YouTube that we were talking about. Yeah.

And Hulu. Oh, you can watch. Go to YouTube. Yeah, well, no, I push people to the YouTube. But yes, if you're on Hulu, it's very convenient to pop it on your TV. Yes. But then you can't leave a comment, and then I can't. Oh, do the YouTube then.

Then I can feel like, and of course, I try not to read the comments, but sometimes I do. Oh, God. So the trolls will leave their stuff. But funnily enough, by the way, touch wood, I'm jingsing myself. Oddly. Positive? Way too much positivity. That's wonderful.

You know what that says to me? It hasn't gone out to enough general public. So it hasn't gone out to enough people that never heard of me before. Well, hopefully my off-the-vine listeners can get you some hate comments. Listen, as I said to Hannah a long time ago, but I've said to many comedians, so I have this thing where like when somebody starts to pop off, I give them like the talk. Yeah, yeah. Because they will know, they will begin to like get.

So I basically say don't read comments, you know, don't Google yourself, all these things. But the other thing I say is that my ticket sales have always been equally proportionate to the of hate. So trust me, if you start to see like a real increase in like negative comments and online hate, that is a mark of success. Yeah, no, I agree. So just like, bring it on. Yeah, I know. I actually agree. But I try to avoid it now. I'm speaking with a lot of bravado. But truth is, I don't read a lot of it. I have been paying attention to the YouTube comments on the special just in the sense of. Constructive criticism. Yeah. And also that's like a very, you know, that's like just my project. Yeah. Yeah. An hour of my.

stand up and I don't even mind the negative comments. I really just want a lot of comments. I totally understand that. No, I just posted at first it was really funny. I had this guy that just absolutely tearing me apart my DMs, just like has had full conversations with himself for the past few years. And I didn't see it until last night I opened this DM and I was like, oh wow, like he hates me. He's calling me a slut. He's like, oh, really? And then he tells me, you'd probably be good in bed, but you clearly can't get a ring on your finger. That's all this. That's stalker stuff.

But that's what scares me, because I can take criticism and hate and feedback. And usually I do find it quite funny. But this one I was like, I'm scared. So there's a comedian. I won't name her because, you know, she might not want people to know that she used to do this. But so her thing, even though she did post about it, but her thing was people that do that. Because that happens to women a lot online. Let me mansplain abuse that women.

Does it? But anyway, she would always find them on Facebook particularly and post a picture of them with their family and be like, this is the person that was sending me this horrible shit. Yeah, that's what I do. Like he's like, how does your children? Yeah, which I think it's fair enough. Yeah. You know? If you don't want it out there, don't put it out there.

Yeah. It's a weird. Well, it's scary because I go, do you want the attention? Because a lot of times when I do it, they shut up or they apologize and then they'll probably think twice before doing it to somebody else. But then there's the people that are like getting off on the fact that I, yeah. That's why you should never respond because that's what they want. Yeah, but I've had weak moments in my career, but I'm a lot better than I used to be. I've had weak moments where I engage.

And it's always a lose. It's a lose. You think it's a win, but then you're just riddled with cortisol and you feel. Right. Can't sleep. Damn it. And so. I slept like a baby last night after that.

I posted it and I went night and I went to sleep. Oh, well, good for you. Listen, you have a, you have stronger mental strength than I do, my anxiety. The cortisol goes to the roof with me. Because, you know, I get fight or flight like you wouldn't believe. Yeah, really. Yeah, so I can't. I can't engage.

But the one thing I will say, because male and female comics, they get different types of abuse and they get different types of weird, like mansplaining type behavior. Like, I'm not saying anyone's mansplaining to me, but the equivalent that we get, Yeah, tell me. Is from the mansplaining. I'm not talking about from the abuse point of view, right? But from the mansplaining, like, condescending man vibe. Yeah.

The male comedian gets the condescending man who doesn't do comedy that tells you why your joke is funny. Oh, they break down. Like, why this is funny is it's like, yeah, bro, guess what? I knew. Right? And you know how I know? Because they're laughing. And it's all from words that I wrote and I said.

And I did not need you to tell me, right? So that's hilarious. But then obviously, you know, you get different. The abuse to women tends to be more sexual and more demeaning. Oh, it's disgusting. That's what I've noticed. That's what I've known. I like calling out women more than men because the men are just disgusting.

And that was the first time I called out a man. No, second. But the women, I'm just like, it's always these like, I don't even want to get over the different now. You're learning and growing. Look at me. Right in front of everybody's eyes. Okay, let me ask you one last question. And then I'm playing a quick game.

then I'll let you go. If stand-up disappeared tomorrow, what would you do? I would be a history lecturer. Cute! Yeah, because that's what I would have been if I didn't get into stand-up. Because I was doing a useless history in English degree. There you go. You know, I was going to be a librarian or a history lecturer. I love history still today.

I love that. I could get stuck into a history TikTok faster than anything else. That's very educational. So, but because I always wanted to be a history lecturer or a professor, I think of the Americans say more. but because you're still in front of an audience. Yeah, fair enough. So you're still, you're still, and shout out to all the great ones that I had. You know, Kieran Kjahan, he was actually my sociology lecture, great.

Joe Lee. Wow, good. You remember their names too. You know, some of them were just very, like, they just made it so interesting and entertaining. Well, I love that. That's, I was the opposite. I don't remember even my, like. She ran my, my dissertation.

Really? Oh, good memory. Okay, your special is called bridge and tunnel, so we're going to call this game Cross the Bridge. Okay. I'm going to throw out two options, and you have to pick one. Okay. It has nothing to do with the bridge.

I don't know. Okay. Queens or Dublin? Oh, Dublin. Okay. Trust me, I love where I grew up, but like in terms of the two different places, I'm going Dublin.

Irish Pub or New York dive bar? Oh, neither of them would be big options for me, but Irish Pub, though, because the Irish Pub is broad. Diet Coke. Yeah, but I feel like a dive bar is just for drinking. That's true. That's a good point.

And the Irish pub is more of a community center. That's, okay. It's literally pub is short for public house. Oh, I did know that actually. Yeah, yeah. Okay, small comedy club or sold out theater? A small comedy club. But my accountant would say sold out theater.

Yeah, well, yeah, of course. But I know what you mean. It's just way more intimate and it's just like everything lands better. It's more fun. Yeah. What would you rather learn next? Italian or Portuguese? Oh.

Man, that's a hard one because like Portuguese opens you up to Brazil. I'm going to say Portuguese. Okay. Netflix special or Oscar winning movie? Wow. I like to try and stump you. No, because Oscar winning movie I'm going to pick. But the thing I will say is it's way more aspirational because I haven't done a lot of movies.

So that would be quite the turn in my career. But I'm going to go for it. You go for it. Dream big. Since I'm free to pick whatever I want. Dream big. Okay. Morning person or night owl? I'm a morning person.

Are you? 100%. What time do you get up? Like, without the alarm, the latest I'm sleeping is 6.30. Freak. I can't. Six 30 is middle of the night to me. Like, people always say, it must be tough.

Hannah and you are traveling all the time. You must never be together. I was like, well, there's that. But there's also the fact that the action amount of hours where both of us are awake is also quite narrow. She's like a night owl. She's late. And I fall asleep at like nine and wake up at six. That's, I wish I had that.

Okay, last one. One joke that just kills forever or a brand new hour every, what? Like you're saying like a joke that's just like evergreen lasts forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a brand new hour every year. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. I mean, for us, it's a brand new hour every year because unfortunately, for the first one to work as a wish,

it would also require people to enjoy that joke every time, which the only, the only one, unfortunate thing in our business is it's not like the backstreet boys. Jokes don't work as well when you've heard them before. I mean, trust me, I enjoy watching a bit I love again, but it's not the same. Who's your favorite stand-up comedian? I'm sure if you last you that all the time. No, but actually not as much as you would think, actually. I mean, as a kid, honestly, Eddie Murphy was my biggest.

Like, we, my generation was obsessed with Eddie Murphy. Like, I could have, I watched Raw and Delirious like so many times. There was a time where I could literally say it. verbatim. Yeah. Also from that era, Richard Pryor. I mean, he was before, but like Richard Pryor, and then any number of comics that used to be on TV all the time in the 80s.

Then in the later generation, Chris Rock, Bill Hicks, would have been two biggies for me. In recent times, you know, I don't know. I enjoy Shane Gillis when I see his clips. Yeah, yeah. People compare me a lot to Bill Burr, but I do enjoy Bill's Burr's bits, but he hasn't been a big inspiration on me, even though people think we sound alike,

which can be a little bit annoying, but no big deal. But, you know, there's an Irish community called Dylan Moran, who I've always really enjoyed, but mainly because he's so different to me. So I just, and I love Rory Scoville. I don't know who that is. Yeah, well, he's about to have a Netflix special. Really?

And he's also Hannah's favorite comic, but that has nothing to do with either of us. We both found Rory independently. Really? Yeah. That's cool. He's unique, and he's amazing, and he doesn't get enough love. But also, can I give an honor to mention to Reggie Watts,

who people might know as the house band leader from the James Corden show. But actually, he's also a genius, a musical genius, comedy genius. And it doesn't get enough love from the comedy side of the game. Yeah. That's what we'll do here. Well, thank you so much for coming today

and talking to me. I feel like you're like speaking for language. Sometimes I can barely speak English on my podcast. Oh, sorry, I spoke too much, I think. No, that's my favorite kind of guest. I'm not kidding. favorite when people talk I love it so much because I like listening too right okay well yeah because I'm lazy remember you're not actually that's like a that's like a that's like a that's like a self-judgment

that's not true well I can be but that's okay yes but I really enjoyed your conversation today so thank you so much thank you for having me and desbishop dot net yes if you want to find them yes Yes. I'm Caitlin Bristow. See you next Tuesday. Welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV.

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