Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Drunk Dial: Call in Confessions

Episode Date: June 21, 2019

Today, Jason joins Kaitlyn as they take calls from listeners like you! Join in the fun as the Vinos call in with some confessions of their own. And of course, they take some time to address the buzz in Bachelor world this week! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with igaming ontario podcast one presents off the vine drunk dial it's all about dialing digits and making questionable decisions let's get it started okay i need to get that work i need to get all right let's take a quick break to talk about something very important that being our hearts there are hundreds of thousands of podcasts out there podcasts about things like true crime with some hot mysterious man who turned out to be a doctor who embezzled and lived a double

life you're supposed to hate him but you kind of love him right and i don't blame you for binge listening to juicy content that leaves your heart racing but the american heart association wants podcast to get your heart racing in a different way like the kind of heart racing that's actually good for your heart by moving while you listen. So next time you listen to a podcast, why not go for a run, maybe even a walk, maybe do a couple lunges or three or four, just get your heart rate up for 30 minutes a day. That's five days a week and it could literally change your life. Make moves at heart.org. I don't want to work. I want to bang on the drum all day. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Friday, Friday, Friday.

Woo-hoo! Did that just get you pumped up for the weekend or what? Oh, my God. Welcome to Drunk Dial. Ah, that's a good glass of wine. Release the rouge. Hey, what are you drinking over there, a little spade and sparrows? Little spade and sparrows.

Isn't it the smoothest red you've ever had in your whole career of drinking red wine? I mean, you will tell anyone out there that I, I am a critic. I am a big time critic and I have an eye that they can see it all. And I love this wine. I know. It reminds me of, no, it's not. It's far from.

It's not Camus. But it has a taste kind of like Camus where it's got like a buttery smooth. There's not a bite to it. It's very smooth. A little hint of vanilla. A little hint of vanilla. Yeah. And the price point to the actual taste, incredible.

Yeah. Thank you for saying that. No, I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Well, thank you. And thanks for the B-Day celebrations. And I felt very loved last night at my little Spade and Sparrow's launch party. I'm very also excited, very also excited, also very excited about the new dues with a bow. Like, what?

Bows are back, bitches. Bows are back. So tell her, like, as a guy who doesn't know shit about shit, what do you do with a bow that's attached to a scrunchy? Yeah, throw it in your hair. And look, the work's already done for you. You don't even got to tie the bow. Okay. So it holds and looks nice. It's actually so cute. I can't wait to throw my hair up in one of those.

I was wearing it on my wrist all night the other night. It was amazing. They look badass. They look badass. I love them. I think they're so cute. Anyways, bows are back. And you know what? That just takes up the bad bitch energy to a whole new level with a bow. I mean, if girls are wearing scrunchies on their wrist right now, if they have the bow attached to it, forget about it.

For good about it. I was thinking, since we'll do a little quick drunk dial, should we say, I should we take some calls? Let's take some calls. Okay. I think we've got somebody on the line waiting. Candice, is that who we have? Yes.

Oh, my goodness gracious, Candice. It's Caitlin and Jason. Candice! No freaking way! Yes, freaking way, girlfriend. Let's go, Candice. Woo! Woo!

Hi. I just was, oh, my God, this is literally a dream come true. Oh, you're so cute. Okay, well, what are you doing right now? you're not driving? No, but I did just get in my car because I was just at the gym and I was checking my phone in between sets and I saw your tweet and it said eight seconds ago. Oh, wow, you are on it. Would you do buys and tries? We're sitting over here drinking wine. You're working out. You're making us feel bad. Yeah, I've had a long day at work. So I always coming to the gym, back to go to the grocery store. You know, super exciting. Yeah, I'd actually totally respect that. That's awesome. Do you have a question for us or a comment or a confession or what do you got for us, Candice? Well, I'm still kind of freaking out the fact that this is actually happening, so I was trying to come up with something super quick.

But I do actually have a pretty funny confession. I'm ready for it. Let's hear it. So when I was in high school, my friends and I, I grew up in a really small town. So my friends and I one night were looking for something fun to do. And our parents used to tell us how they used the toilet paper people's houses all the time. Oh, boy. Here we go.

So my friends and I decided to go do that. We drove around, found this house that was a perfect. sitting duck, and we toilet papered it. Come to find out, it was one of the three magistrate houses in my county. No. What happened?

She had a camera system in her yard because people had been sitting her death threat. Oh, boy. And so she went to the police. They pulled up the footage at one of the two grocery stores in my town, caught us

on camera. My dad was a retired detective at the time. Oh my, oh my gosh. This just keeps getting crazier. Yeah, so they called us all into the sheriff's department one day on a Sunday, actually. We had to write her apology letters and, you know, let her know. We were just trying to play, like, play a joke that we didn't want to kill her or anything. Oh, wow.

And that escalated. It gets even better. Oh, boy. Oh, shit. So she brought us into her courtroom to try to scare us and, like, came in with her robe and everything. And, like, it was this whole speech about how she could have charged us with trespassing and littering. and all this stuff, but it was the most hilarious experience of my life, probably. What was her name?

Donna Robinson. Tusha Donna. I respect it. Yeah, that's a power move. I hope she brought the mallet and all. She wasn't a Karen or a Susan. No, yeah, I was going to say, if her name was Karen or something, that would have been game over. That's so funny.

My mom's name is Karen, but my mom's the only good Karen. It's so funny. I think I've heard from every good Karen out there that they're a good Karen. That's so funny. Thank you for sharing that with us, Candace. That is, that's actually a really great confession. My heart is racing. I'm going to give a shout-out to my coworkers, Kelly and Chelsea, because we all listen to you and love you so much.

Well, I love you guys back. And thank you for listening. And thank you for calling in and being, I mean, you got that, you know, a lot of people are probably trying to call if I can say so myself. And you got in. So good for you. Get it, Candice. Your tweet said eight seconds. And I said, I'm on it now.

You know what? I like your attitude, Candace. You have a great weekend and go drunk dial someone for me tonight. Yes, please give noodle a kiss for me. Congratulations on the new event and wish you guys all the best. I love you both. You are so sweet. So sweet. Thank you so much.

Okay. Drive safe now. Why is everyone so sweet? Like everyone's the best. I just want to be friends with everyone. I got like goosebumps at the end there. She's like, good luck with everything and move in and noodle. It's really sweet. So freaking sweet.

There are nice people out there. Wow. We're so used to the haters. Yeah, we've got to focus on the Candace's out there. You know what? I won't name my period. Candice. Jesus.

All right. I think we have a Courtney from Texas on the phone. Courtney? Hello. Oh, you were there. Hi, Courtney. How are you? I'm great now.

Oh, what are you doing? I'm just sitting next to my husband about to embarrass him in front of every. Oh, I love that. What's your husband's name? Bob. Oh, he said I could say it. His name's Nick. Nick, okay.

Nick, what's going on? Nick and Courtney. Now, this makes me feel like there's a confession coming on. Is that what we've got? Oh, yeah. Yes. I was like, how do I get on this show to tell this? Oh, is it so funny.

Is it juicy? Give it to us. Hear it. Oh, it might have been pretty juicy. Yeah, okay. Okay. Go on. Oh, boy.

I know you like poop confessions, so this is the best. Ready for it. So we got married, and we went to Vegas for two days, and then we went to Disneyland for the rest of it. And it was our first day at Disneyland, about to go on some rides, have a blast. And my husband sneezes, and he grabs my arm, and he goes, babe. And I was like, are you okay? He goes, I think I just shit my pants. A sneeze shit

And I go Oh my gosh I go Are you okay And I'm looking around And I'm like I think there's a bathroom Right there

So he goes to the bathroom For like 20 minutes Yeah And my mom texted me And she goes How's your first day At Disneyland And I go

Oh it's pretty Shitty So what did you do? So he came out And I go Are you okay And we got to go Back to the hotel room

And he goes I just threw my boxers away Oh, what a power move. Yeah, well, you've got to do that. That's how you're a rally right there. Yeah, what are you supposed to do? So did you say this was your honeymoon?

Yep. Wow. That sucks. Oh, my gosh. Wait, I bet he's so scared to sneeze now. He's got like, like, you know, that's traumatic. For like a week. Oh, my God.

I thought you were going to say like a year. That would have been funny. Yeah, he hasn't sneezed ever since. So let me ask you, if this was the first date and or let's say like one of the first few dates and this happened, would things change? I don't think so I love that answer You know what, baby If you sneezed and shit your pants

I'd still love you If I snittered you'd still love me Shnittered I'd still love you too Thanks you know what That's how you know it's true love There you go Well thank you so much for sharing And tell Nick that I'm sorry that

You know what? Tell him That everybody loves his story And nobody's going to give him a hard time And we don't know your last name So there's that too Exactly But thank you so much for calling in and confessing to me,

I will now go wash away your Nick's sins with my wine. Oh, perfect. Give noodle a hug. I will. He's right beside me. I have this like Epiphany.

I woke him up and I go, we have to save a golden retriever from China. Yeah, you do. Everybody should. They're so cute. He's an angel. He is a sweet baby. We'll go do that and then send me pictures.

Oh, we will. Okay, thank you for calling Okay, I think we also have one more caller We have time for one more It's Alyssa Is that how you say it? Alyssa Yes

Hi Alyssa Alyssa's in the house Oh I hear with like my best friends And they're freaking out Can wait, she's Jason just said you're in the house But you're not, you're over the phone

Yeah, I just got excited Alyssa's over the phone Over the phone And her best friends In the backyard You were what? I'm technically outside of the house because I'm in the backyard.

Oh, there you go. Outside, over the phone, not in the house. How are you? And what's going on? Do you have a confession for me? I do have a confession. Yes, I love it. I was like, you guys can, like, ask me a question or tell me something,

and then everybody calls him with a confession, and it's my favorite. Give it to me. Three for three. Okay. So I am lactose intolerant, but when I was in high school, I didn't know yet. Until you shit your pants. Yes. Yes.

I was on a date. Oh, boy. In high school. Strong correlation here. And then, like, all of a sudden, my stomach hurts. I'm like, I need to go home. And then he's like, here, have this plate of cheese. So we're out.

I like, I'm from a small town, and there's not much to do. So we're, like, out driving in the middle of nowhere. I'm like, I need to go home. He takes me to my car. I shat my pants. Uh-oh. It sounds so much more pleasant when you say shat. He gets to my, he takes me to my car where I parked it, and, like, I'm getting out, and he wants to get out of the car to hug me.

Did he not smell it? I guess not. Okay, okay. Either that, or he's just really polite. Or he was, like, super obsessed with you. Yeah. Okay. I was like, no, I'm good.

I really need to get home. So I just got in my car and drove home. Oh, my goodness. I walk in the door and I just look at my parents and like, I shit my pants and walked to the bathroom. Oh, goodness gracious. How old were you? I was 18. 18.

And that's the day that you realized you're lactose intolerant. Yes. That's a very tough balance on how to figure that one out. But you know what? I bet you're not the only one. Have you ever heard what a schnit is? Yeah. Have you ever snitted?

No. Oh. A sneeze shit. It's a snish net. We just learned about it. No, I'm not that smart. Well, I hope it never happens to you. So thank you so much for calling in.

And you know what? I hope you never eat dairy again. Wait, what? Oh, my God, we love you so much. We love you so much, too. Carly and Megan. Carly and Megan. Shout out to you both.

Awesome. Okay, go have a glass of. a wine for me. Oh, we're already a couple cocktails. Love that. There we go. Love it. Okay, guys, we'll talk to you and we'll probably never again, but love you. Love you.

Bye. People are like fired up today. I know. I like it. Nice and kind and funny. That's off the vine listeners, you know? I'll tell you all what. We need more of them. More off the vine listeners in the world. The world would be a better place if there was more vinos.

I think is what we're getting at. I think you're right. Well, you know what? I mean, the drunk tiles are so quick. I feel like that's all the time we got. So get a load of this. Now you can get everything for your home from the Home Depot. And you're probably thinking, what do you mean, like everything?

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right now. It's as simple as that, whole home improvement from start to finish, more saving, more kinds of doing, shophomedepo.com slash decor today. Valid on select items online only, free delivery on select items, $45 or more. Visit Home Depot.com for more information. So we'll wrap it up by just quickly addressing it was a big day in the news for Bachelor World. A lot of tea Lauren Bushnell got engaged, so congratulations to her and Chris Lane. Lauren Lane is the cutest name ever when they get married if she chooses to take his last name. So I'm really excited for them. They seem so cute.

I love their relationship via social media. What else happened today? There's some rumors going on that Jed from the season of The Bachelorette has a girlfriend, but spoiler alert. This happens every season. and what I said earlier on E.T. was, and again, I don't know what's going to be cleared up by the time this podcast comes out on Friday, but as I said on E.T. earlier, I try not to judge or fault anybody for this because you do go on. He already admitted that he went on for an opportunity with music. You don't expect to fall in love. And then it can't. What if that is your person? You're like, I didn't expect that. But holy shit, this is my person. And you fall in love on the show. Why is that bad if you had a girl. from before like obviously she's not the right one and no offense to the girl but if you're if your guy's going on the show i'd probably just not talk to him anymore you know yeah i mean i think so my take on this i mean we'll see what happens but the question is right now i think there's again i'm probably

wrong eight till let's say 11 a guys left the question is if she knew about this yeah would he still be left and i think the biggest the biggest issue is that he came forward which i think is awesome that he was very proactive about the fact that he was on the show to pursue music career. So I get a little while people are hating on it, I clapped, said, good for you, put it on the table, be open, be honest. But when you started to add that into the mix with the fact on night one, someone was sent home for having a girlfriend, and then you hear some of the quotes from her, whether they're true or not. Yeah. Sticky. Yeah.

So who knows how far he goes? Who knows what their relationship level was at if they ever drop the L bomb, if they, you know, so I guess we'll just have to stay tuned. But that's, yeah, it's tough to judge and it's tough to say because, again, this is all just he said, she said right now. She said, yeah, exactly. So who knows. But that's what's what's going on. There's one more thing. I think I feel like I read something about Bachelor in Paradise is just going to be a shitstorm, but nothing new there.

Nothing new there. I asked Chris Harrison, I text him and, or he texted. He likes to be from Lauren, being with Lauren Zima today. And he goes, oh, I wish we could all get together. I said, yeah, how's Mexico? And if you say anything other than it's a shitstorm, I'll be disappointed. And he goes, an absolute shitstorm. It's a perfect.

Great. See you on Paradise. Double underlined. Yeah. Anyways, thanks for doing a drunk town with me. I don't know. What's the date on Friday? I will be 34 when this comes out.

It's okay. 21. June 21st. June 21st. Okay. Go have a great weekend, everybody. Toot-a-loo. Toot-a-loo!

To-a-loo! To-a-lo!