Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Drunk Dial: Fall Crawl!

Episode Date: November 1, 2019

Today, Kaitlyn helps you recover from your All Hallows Eve with a Drunk Dial all about her Fall Crawl and exes. Plus, Kaitlyn shares an exciting announcement about guests for her tour and her plans to make it better than ever! Later, Kaitlyn shares her appreciation for all her fans before she gets into some confessions about your exes! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. Podcast One presents Off the Vine Drunk Dial. It's all about dialing digits and making questionable decisions. Let's get it started. Okay, this is that work. I need to get those things. Hello, Vino's and welcome to this week's episode of Drunk Dial.

And hey, you know what? Happy Freakin'Friket Friday. How are you all feeling today after Halloween? Obviously, yesterday was Halloween. I hope everybody had a great time celebrating. I hope everybody didn't just go as sexy Mr. Rogers. But I do want to see your costumes. Can you place them on the Facebook page, please, for me?

I also found out that the day before that, this past Wednesday, was National Text Your X Day, which is almost equally as scary, if you ask me. So I thought I'd take today and talk about exes, read your ex. Can You Nots, which I'm sure there are some good ones, and some confessions. Maybe I'll think of one on the spot from myself. I'm also still thinking about relationships and heartbreaks from last week's drunk dial with Claire Byrne. She talked on ghosting and I just, I feel like that's always an interesting topic and I hope you enjoyed that show. I loved listening to her talk. I've said it before. You know I have and I'll say it

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So I actually just wanted to say I was just doing a phone call because obviously I have the live podcast tour coming up. And I'm just, I don't think you guys know how excited and scared I get for them. I get nervous because I just obviously don't want to let anyone down. I want it to be one of the best nights you've ever had. I want to make sure I, like, make eye contact with each and every one of you because you guys all mean so much to me. And I was talking to Sarah, the birds papaya. I know some of you or most of you know who that is. If you don't, you should follow her on Instagram.

But she's my guest in Vancouver. And she was like, you know what? Your community of vinos are, they're just such a safe place. And I know that. And I think that's why I get so, like, shook. Wait, can I still say that? shook when when something goes down or when I feel like I've done something wrong or if somebody's upset with me because I know it is such a safe place and I know that it's just it's such a

home for some people in a community and just I always want that to be a thing. So just wanted to remind you guys how much I appreciate each and every one of you and how much I love just seeing your positivity in that group and all the support. So just never forget how much I love the vinos and how much I appreciate all of your support and how every day I just think about how I can be better for myself, obviously first and foremost, and for you guys and for my relationship, but you guys are in there. You are in there in the people I think about of who I want to make happy. So speaking of X's and my live podcast tour, I'm not sure if you guys saw, but I've announced almost all of the guests for my fall crawl, which

again starts next week. Can't tell you how excited I am. And for those guests, One of those is actually my ex. I guess you can call him that. He feels more like a friend now. It doesn't even seem like, you know, it felt like a TV show, I know, but he just feels like a friend now. But Nick Vial, so I've talked a little bit about how we're on good terms. I think I was a little bit bitter for a while just because somebody else was bitter.

So I held on to that to protect my relationship and myself. But we're on good terms. We saw each other at Ashley and Jared's wedding. Jason's friends with him. Everything is all good, but we haven't really had talked too much since my season of The Bachelorette, which now feels like a million, trillion, billion, gazillion years ago. But we kind of just started talking and we had a phone call and we'll talk about that on the podcast with him. But we just kind of were like, you know what, it'd be cool to do each other's podcast now and we're friends and this will probably, oh, this will be our second time actually like appearing together. we did a thing right after the show for raising awareness and money for prostate cancer that we were

appearing at together. But I mean, this will be fun. It'll be a really fun interview. It'll be really interesting to hear what he has to say and just having that one-on-one conversation that we've never really gotten to have. So I think it'll be a really exciting podcast. We will air it. It won't just be on the live show. We're working this time too to get better sound quality and do a little bit better editing so that you guys at home can really enjoy the live shows as well because they end up being so much fun and we have such great interviews and we really involve the crowd and it's just honestly one of the best things I've ever done in my life is taking off the Vine on tour and getting the chance to be in the same room with all of you lovelies because

the energy is next level so yes Nick will be joining me live in LA which you won't want to miss actually you don't want to miss any of them but if you're going to be in the LA area go grab your tickets. Brandy Cyrus will be also joining me for half of the fall tour. She came on tour with me last year. We had probably too much fun. And then our good friend Blake, who we all know and love, will be joining me for the other half of the podcast tour.

So we have so many fun guests joining us in addition to Blake and Brandy. We have Raven and Adam, Lauren Elizabeth, who had the pleasure of meeting on a revolved trip. She is so funny. Ariel Vandenberg, to name a few. And you can find any of this info on my Instagram. by the way, under my highlights. So, I mean, I'm coming to so many cities and I want to eventually be able to hit every city.

But I hope, I hope, I hope that everyone can make it to whatever city I'm coming to because I really, really love having that intimate podcast with you guys. So let's get into the Can You Not X edition. Uh, can you not? Okay. So not all of us can be on good terms with our X's and B podcast. casting together. And some of you are not on such good terms with your exes because I got a lot of amazing Kenya nots in the Facebook group. So let's start off with those. Sarah Opie, can you not send a letter and email to my place of work detailing why you are sorry for being a shitbag? I blocked you for

a reason, sir. One, I love that you called him a shitbag and then politely called him sir at the end. It's funny. And also like, what? He sent you a letter. Okay, one that's kind of romantic, but not if he was being a piece of shit. Okay, on a similar note, Megan Lee says, can you not try it and add me on social media every three to six months? The answer is still no. Hmm. X's, hey, they're so interesting.

I feel like nine times out of ten, they always realize that they screwed up and want you back or, like they go into who you wanted them to be, you know? Which is just a mind of it. Caitlin Coning says, Can you not drunk dial me 15 to 30 times every weekend? Oh yeah, that's just, that's not attractive. Drunk dialing, funny because this is a drunk dial podcast,

but like the actual act of drunk dialing 15 to 30 times in power calling someone in the middle of the night is so, like, does he not wake up and learn a lesson and be like, oh God, she didn't pick up. Oh, God, I did it again. It just keeps gone. Shell some pride, bro. Holly Lawson says, can you not give me.

the same necklace you gave your ex-girlfriend that she gave you back when you broke up. Whoa. Regifting is one thing. I am all about a good re-gift, but to do that with an ex-girlfriend's jewelry and no, no, that's a big candy nut. Oh, Holly. Leah Goldberg says, can you not ask me to be one of your references for a job application four years after we broke up?

Whoa, you could really screw him with that, though. Like you should say yes Oh absolutely And then if he did something awful to you You know now's your time to get him back Nah I'm just kidding Revenge is not the answer kids Heather

Catherine says Can you not send me a random text A year after we broke up asking for nudes Ewe Ewe Ew. Why would you do that? Did you do it? Did you send them? I need a follow up. Kate Laurie says, can you not break up with me via text? Maybe you guys say via. Can you not break up with me via text even if we only dated for a short time? It's still a crappy thing to do.

I agree. I don't like when people say man up, even though I say it sometimes, but like, man up. Why would you not call so? Or like, no, do it in person. No, I don't know if I'd want to. that to happen in person. You know what? Now that I think about it, I'm not mad at a text breakup if you're not together for a long time. I'm really thinking this one through and talking through this out loud. But to me, I'm like, I just, I'm, I'm, I'm text over calls in general. Email's pretty tacky. But like a text, I don't know. I always need a little more context to these. Like, how long were you guys actually together? What was the story? If you're like in love, yeah, don't text.

Okay. Sorry. No, I'm on your team. No, Kate, you're right. I'm on your team. Wow. Tighten up your game, Caitlin. Karen Ardabasi. Can you not watch all my Instagram stories after you ghosted me? Oh, classic. Because you know what? It has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. Because he probably is like, damn it, I'm just a freak and can't commit. His problem. Not yours. Karen. By the way, Karen, I don't hate all Cairns, okay? I like Karen Ardabasi. I like you. I hope all the Cairns out there, no, it's just a joke. Like, might even be a mega Karen for Halloween. Who knows? Mayor Lodderback. Can you not slide into my LinkedIn DMs because you've been blocked on everything else? Oh, now here's a story for you. My ex, who was the one before I went on the show, who is the hockey player. I have a question about this, actually. I'm glad you brought this up. So, So once we broke up, he moved on really quickly, and it was interesting because he, like, told me that, no, wait, I can't go there. I can't go there. Anyways, how do I, how do I say this without making him look bad? Because he's not. He's actually a great guy.

He, does somebody have to add you on LinkedIn? Like, or does it just go through a system of, like, here's, like, mutual friends. So this person wants to add you. Or do they physically? have to go in and add to you because my ex moved on really fast and then we like don't ever talk i like he's talked to me maybe like twice saying like hey good job on the show you were you did really great and i love that you were yourself blah blah but other other than that we don't talk he's married he's got a baby super happy for him um super happy for um just kidding i am but but it said that he added me on LinkedIn and i was like i don't i don't believe that that seems if he to me So do you have to go in and, like, what do you have had to add me? I don't know why.

I'm just curious. Anyways, I feel like I got panicky there. I didn't know how to address that one. Okay, so even though I'm pretty much constantly on the road, I always make time for my TV shows. Jason was always like, I'm not a big TV show guy. And I was like, hmm, have been my whole life. Get on board. I'll watch them on the planes, in the hotel rooms.

Sometimes I'll wait until I'm back in Nashville just so I can like binge all of them at once from bed. Don't act like you don't do it. And one of my absolute favorite things about fall is that my favorite shows are back. Hallelujah. And Hulu has them all in one place. Hulu has the TV you love for just $599 a month, everything from Family Guy, South Park, for when you need a good laugh, to This Is Us and Grey's Anatomy when you just need some drama in your life and maybe a few tears. If you feel the way I do about TV, you can go to Hulu.com and start your free trial and get your binge on. go hey girl get you been john okay let's get into questions

hannah lopez asks what is the craziest breakup slash ex-boyfriend story you have okay have i told this on a podcast before the cops were called the cops were called because we were like yelling and we were living in like a it was like an a hotel slash residence and we weren't

it wasn't even that crazy but the cops came and they like had to separate us and I had been drinking of course that's when all the worst fights happen and I was also like 25 no offense to any 25 year olds out there but I've like you know I was I was in a tough place in life then and I remember them separating us and I was like this isn't that bad like there's no like abuse nobody got pushed or hurt it wasn't crazy it was just just yelling and they like to me like I was a child and the cop kept being like, Caitlin, we're going to take him okay? And I was like, why are you talking to me like that? It was so weird.

But anyways, here's the funny part of the story. Years later, I started following Huff Jerry on Instagram and there was a cake that he had posted and it was a baked cake that said, I'm sorry I got us almost arrested and the cops had to come. Like it was so funny thing about a cake that you were going to give somebody. And I tagged my ex in it and been like that I said too soon. He never responded, but I like to think he had a good chuckle. Who knows? Okay, Brianna or Brianna Briggs has a can you not turned question.

She says, can you not choose to get married in the same month and venue after you asked what we were doing for our wedding? Okay. So her question is, Caitlin, how do you? you get over something as stupid and trivial as that? Like, I know it's stupid for feeling angry about it and I don't know why I care. It bugs me. Okay. Um, have you, this is so Jason coming out in me right now, but have you dug to the root of the problem? Like, have you really sat down and thought about why it does bother you? Because if you know, you're being self-aware, you know that it's stupid and you know it's silly for feeling angry, but you got to

really ask yourself, why does it bug you? Does it make it feel like it's like insignificant to him or it doesn't matter? I don't know. You've got to dig deep into that one. But the way I get over something stupid and trivial is I talk through it usually. But yeah, I usually, let me give you an example. The other day, the other day I was talking to Jason. and he was a way

to do a speaking thing and he was with his friend Paul and every time we talked on the phone he'd be like okay well I got to go because I don't want to be rude to Paul which I totally understand but it was every time we talked okay well I'm with Paul so I can't really talk

okay and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt we talk all the time all day like I totally get it and then he told me that somebody else called he's like yeah and I was on the phone with him for so long and then Paul afterwards like what the heck was that about And I was like, oh, so you'll stay on the phone with this random person for an hour, but you can't talk to me in front of Paul. And he said, let me address that ridiculous accusation.

And then I got mad and I hung up on him because he made me feel stupid. And I was like, hey, that wasn't a ridiculous accusation. I was just making a comment. So then, of course, mature Jason sends me this text saying, I don't want to argue. I wasn't blah, blah, blah. I was, the conversation was a business call. I talked to you all day, every day. And I wrote it back and I said, hey, can't I just be needy once in a while?

I said, I think at the end of the day, I just felt like I wasn't getting the attention that I needed. And now I know that's silly. But can't I just be needy once in a while? Like, I just wanted to talk to you. So then he laughed and he was like, of course you can be needy. I'm glad we talked this one through. So I think just being honest and even if you feel completely stupid, just like starting it off by saying

I feel really silly talking about this but I just want to let you know this upsets me like let's figure out why because I agree that it's silly I guess that's what I've learned to do over my years okay Kylie Moore asks

how much did you and Jason talk about X's in the beginning of your relationship what's the right amount to talk about X's with your current significant other we talked about it a lot because we both went into

our relationship being really vulnerable and like I was obviously like recently going through something and I did not want to make the same mistakes again when looking for somebody and within myself. So we talked a lot, a lot, a lot about our past relationships in what we could have done better and what we can work on together and what our insecurities were in the past and how we can communicate to each other in a healthy manner of to to get through things now knowing our insecurities from the past so I feel like it's like that was a very standard topic of conversation for us was was to talk about exes so not so much anymore because now I'm like la la la I don't want to hear about your

ex-girlfriends but before when you know we're just I think we're just setting boundaries and talking about our insecurities and how we want to be treated because of our past. So I think it's very important, especially if your exes have played a significant role in your life. Kendra Trent asks, I just realized two of my exes unfollowed me on social media years after dating. We don't keep in touch anymore, but they still follow random people I know. They don't keep in touch with as well.

What does it mean that they unfollowed now? I do Instagram cleanups all the time. and I think it's just like I you know maybe they're dating someone else now and they're like out of respect to their relationship they feel like it's necessary to unfollow somebody that they were so connected to um they might find it hard to see you and maybe still like want to reach out or feel like connected to you I I totally get that just because I I don't want to follow my exes on social media and you know like you broke up for a reason and even if you have a friendly breakup, but you haven't talked in a couple years, like, I don't know. I'm all about a good Instagram cleanup and that if they're not serving you and bringing joy to your life, I don't know. I wouldn't take that personally at all. You shouldn't take a lot of things personally that we all take personally, but that for sure,

especially if you don't talk to them, it's not a big deal. Okay, so let's get to some confessions. Okay, so Aaron Hudson says, my ex was absolutely terrible, lied, cheated, got another girl pregnant. Oh, well, when I found out he was cheating on me, I tried to end it, and he said, please, I'll do anything. Of course I did. I'll get your name tattooed on my arm. So I slapped on the fakest smile on my face. said that will definitely prove it to me yes honey sat through 30 glorious minutes of this idiot

getting my name tattooed on his body and broke up with him the next day by far my proudest moment i'm sorry let me put this mic down for a second that was my slow clap into a very aggressive of fast clap for you because that is incredible. Hell yeah, Aaron Hudson. Hell yeah. I just got so pumped out. I'm like, you should see me right now. I'm like flexing.

Okay, that's awesome. You win. Let's call somebody. Let's call Melissa. Hello? Hi, Melissa. Hi. Hi, it's Caitlin Bristow.

How are you? Oh, my gosh. You're kidding me? No, I'm serious. It's me. How are you? Oh, my God. I'm so good.

I'm driving out from work, so I can't, like, crash into a ditch right now. Okay, yeah, don't crash. Please don't do that. Do you have hands free? I do. Okay.

Hands free. Then is this legal? Yes, it's legal. Okay, okay. Then we can continue. I'm in Rochester, New York. Oh, my gosh. Are you really?

Yeah, I'm in a Bill's fan, too. Oh, go bills. Oh, I love that. I can hear the accent. I love that. That makes me happy. Well, I saw here that you have a confession regarding an ex. Oh, yes. I need to hear about this because it involves pooping in your backyard.

So let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. So this was like probably six years ago. I went on a first date and within that date, I found out he was. allergic to garlic and onion.

Oh, boy. So he must have had something that, like, you couldn't tell it was in the food he ate. Yeah. Because once we got to parking near my apartment, and it's like we had to park on the street and find a place in parallel park, and it was taking forever. And he was just, like, kind of shaking his leg. Oh, no. And sweating. Oh, no.

I was just like, are you okay? he goes honestly like I really have to go to the bathroom I'm like oh my god I'm so sorry I was like well you know let's get back to my apartment and you can you know go to bathroom and we get there and I forgot my key oh gosh all my roommates are out and he basically drops whatever he had in his hands and just runs in my backyard and is gone for like 20 minutes oh I didn't know where he went and then like I made him I got my roommate to come home and unlock the door in the meantime. So I just yell into the distance. Um, the door is open. Did he come back in? Uh, yeah, he like slowly came up the stairs because it was a duplex and we're on the second floor. So he's like, slowly comes up to the stairs and goes straight into the bathroom.

Oh, my God. It was like another 20 minutes. And I guess my confession is that I let him say, that I let him still hang out and, like, watch a movie because that was our plan. Wait, and then did you go in the backyard? Did you have to see it? No. Oh, thank God.

Because it was in Rochester, like, city living, it was a duplex, and it's just very tiny backyards, and I never went back there anyways, so I just... You just let him have his moments. I never asked the question, but it was very clear that that's what happened. Oh, my gosh, and then you didn't see him ever again. never like i like we texted a little bit just because i felt so bad like i had secondhand embarrassment for him that's the worst never another day no oh gosh that's so funny i feel like that's like an ex-convary like you confessed for him and now we're all laughing i know and i kind of feel bad

no no don't feel bad we're not saying any names i know right right yeah you're you're totally fine that's so funny well thank you for sharing that that was definitely a good one and drive safe okay and can i just say i love you so much i listen to your podcast religiously and you are doing an amazing job thank you so much that means a lot a lot a lot and lately i've just been really focusing on the people that matter and i just i really appreciate all the love so thank you so much of course okay have a good talking to you yeah have a good day and a good Halloween and a good weekend oh thank you too okay bye Little sweetie, her little accent.

Why did that make me almost like a little bit emotional? I just really have been focusing on like the important binos and I'm just like, I love you guys. All right. So my phone clearly serves so many purposes. I use it to stay in touch with friends and family to get things done for work, to do photo shoots, not just of me, my beautiful pup. I can't imagine having to go even one day without my phone with a being out of commission. I know that's sad, but the idea of it falling and breaking, terrifying. Like if you're going for a scary Halloween costume this weekend, maybe just consider being a broken phone.

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Fair. Couldn't find toilet paper anywhere, ended up using a hand towel and throwing it in with a bunch of dirty clothes. He never mentioned it, but I still feel bad. You know what? You did what you had to do, okay? it's better than not wiping i mean could it have gone in the garbage sure but did you just you know saved him a hand towel and put it in the wash yes good for you emily and thank you for sharing that with your last name i always love when you guys do that you're the best uh taylor bennett says

my ex threw a party and because we were on a break we were on a break sorry and i wasn't invited I was pretty bitter about it. So I pretended to be a neighbor filing a noise complaint twice. Turns out my ex missed a court date for speeding for speeding ticket. So while the cops were breaking up the party, they arrested him. When he got arrested, they gave him one phone call. Guess who we called. Oh, gosh.

That's good. These are good ones, guys. Oh, my gosh. Okay, there's more. I mean, I have to wrap up, but there's more. Taylor Bryant says confession I was making out with my ex-boyfriend after we had broken up

and it was just a non-committal hookup I was coming down with a cold at the time when I pulled away from a kiss I looked at him and saw one of my boogers in his face see how I said boogers instead of boogers for you guys I thought about laughing about it but was wanting to win him back and thought it would gross him out

so I just sensually wiped off wiped it off from his face and kept kissing him oh he probably felt that honey Don't you just feel boogers on your face? Depends what kind of booger, I guess. Tori Hunter, confession. I still have my ex-boyfriend's location on Find My Friends.

We live on opposite. Oh my gosh, wait. I just felt sick to my stomach. I'm like, I think people still have me on Find Your Friends. Okay, well, checking that right after the pod. We live on opposite sides of the country, so there's literally no reason for me to have it, other than it makes me laugh and that he still hasn't noticed.

We've been broken up for two years. wow tory you just changed my life because i think i'm going to have to go now i'm really going to have to run and check about the the situation here because i'm pretty sure i still have my location on for five my friends all right uh oh shoot there's only one more step mcfarland says confession after my ex ghosted me after eight months together also a month after valentine's day when he was so in love with me of course then he broke up with me after two weeks of me being like um hi you can't ghost your actual girlfriend i was so furious i was so furious I signed him up for sloth texts where every half an hour he would get a random fact about a sloth.

Then he stopped them and I signed him up for cat facts. Then I just signed him up for anything I could find on the internet for free. There are so many sites, she said, that allows you to randomly send text to others. I found this out the hard way, by the way. I just wanted to annoy him so much without me having to actually communicate with him. Fun fact, he got me back, must have figured it was me because after the fact I was getting calls for car insurance, health insurance, getting my bachelor degree online, even though I already have one. And everyone would say, oh, well, your email was just signed up.

Oh, your email was just signed up an hour ago. Great. Backfire. Ooh. Steph, sorry about the tough bounce. I mean, that's a pretty innocent thing to do, though. Like, you know, it's not like you got him arrested like, like Taylor Bennett, Benoit. Maybe it's pronounced Benoit.

I'm sorry, you French. Okay, you guys, this has been a fun, wow, am I drunk? No, actually. This has been a fun drunk towel. I hope everybody enjoyed it with me because I really just enjoyed my own company here today. And of course, Melissa. Yeah. Oh, Melissa.

So thank you guys. I got to go check if my locations are on or off on find my friends. You guys have a great safe weekend and please come to the tour. If I come near you, I want to see all of you out there. Love you. Bye. This week's drunk out is sponsored by Hulu. Hulu has TV you love all for only $5.99 a month.

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