Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Drunk Dial: Furball Friday

Episode Date: October 4, 2019

Forgoing wine for whiskers, today's Drunk Dial is all about Dogs! Kaitlyn looks ahead to a weekend with Buffalonians as Jason's hometown friends come for a visit before getting into the best doggone part of the pod. From dog park "Can you NOT's", to your dog questions and even some dog parent confessions you won't want to miss out! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Happy Friday, my vinos. Uh, welcome to this week's episode of Drunk Dial. I'm having a rather Zen moment. I decided to do podcast, to do podcast, great English. I decided to do the podcast from my bed with candles lit, ramen by my side. I've traded in the wine for a little coffee. And I just feel like I haven't really been taking great care. of myself if I'm being honest and I know on another drunk doll I said I was gonna you know get back on track

but I just haven't it's so hard with my schedule and I keep making all these excuses and then there's always something to do and people to see and drinks to be had and I just uh my anxiety I think has been spiraling a little bit and I've been talking about it more because I feel like I'm not taking good enough care of myself and yes I'm having fun and yes I'm happy and all of those great things but I really need to get back on track with doing things for myself and in the two days a month that I'm home to just really, you know, take that time. I'm just such a big fan of sitting in bed with candles lit and just like breathing. And I need to do a little bit more of that.

So I'll tell you one thing that is adding to my stress. And I don't want to put it on you guys because I know you guys are. just the best in doing everything you can but i just feel i guess i feel a bit guilty trying to push my push my followers to vote for me for the people's choice awards like i don't know what it is about saying like oh please go vote for me that just i feel silly like i'm like i don't want to keep annoying people and pushing people to go vote for me but i'm like but it's so important to me and it's something i'm so proud of so why should i you know and i feel like we did this together it's not just me i feel like the vinos have so much power that you guys we did this together and it's our

people's choice nomination and i just want to make it about us and i just i guess i'm just having weird thoughts about going on instagram being like okay keep voting for me and votes count twice on tuesdays like i just feel like i'm annoying people when i do that so i know i can count on you guys to remind each other and be in the facebook group i i just just thought i'd get that off my chest you know i feel like that's just something that i've been struggling with i just i just feel guilty anyways all right i've got a confession here i'm going to tell you about the bra that i've been wearing possibly every single day for the past few weeks now don't judge me this bra and the customized fit has honestly changed

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off today i'll tell you what it's friday and i'm terrified for this weekend talk about not taking care of yourself i've got jason's best friends childhood friends buffaloonians is that what they're called buffaloonians sounds like you call it you're calling someone like a buffoon you buffaloan anyways all of his friends are coming into town i don't know if you guys were following along on my twitter but i decided to play by play during the bill's game against the patriots on sunday was that sunday yeah sunday i was tweeting what jason was saying because we all know Jason's politically correct. We all know he is very well spoken and comes across as just a perfect gentleman as he is.

But I love when he watches football because this, he throws on a backwards hat and he starts swearing and he gets all rowdy. So I was doing a play-by-play of Jason watching the game and tweeting what he was saying and it was hilarious. But I was like, wow, this guy is very passionate about his Buffalo Bills. and all of his friends are coming into town and we're going to the bills game on Sunday against the Titans in Nashville and I just know that this weekend's going to be rowdy and it's like how do I take care of myself knowing that these buffaloan buffoons

are coming into town and we're just we're going to rage guys we're going to rage And it's a, you know, it's a rare occasion that all his friends and family friends and childhood friends are here. So I got a battle and it's going to be fun, but how about that anxiety on Monday? Am I right? God. Anyways, let's get to something that doesn't spark my anxiety. And that's my little noodle, ramen. Okay, so Sunday, October 6.

Yes, it's a special day because the Buffalo Bills are playing the tight. but it's a more special day because guys it's national noodle day okay now when most people hear noodle they probably think of pasta or as you americans say pasta but not i i think of my loving little noodle who goes by the name of ramen who is the light of oh was i getting troked up there he's the light of my life and jason i can't even tell you jason is such a rock just side note gosh when i'm having these like struggles or feeling like i can't keep up with my life. He just grounds me and he's just such a rock. Okay. So I thought we'd celebrate a little today in honor of this weekend by having a ramen and just general dog

themed drunk dial. Who doesn't like to hear about dogs? And my vinos came through on the Facebook group and did a little can you not dog park edition. Uh, can you not? Which I was, I was really wanting to get to that at some point in any podcast because I was just at the dog park this morning. Ramen is so funny at dog parks. He just, just thinks he runs the whole place and if dogs aren't chasing him he like will go pester them to be like hello hello pay attention to me chase me and then they chase him and he just like sikes them out all the time and then it's just so i guess i'm just biased because he's my dog and i think everyone probably thinks their dog's the best dog at the park but so many can you not dog park

edition can you not so haley ral's thornton says can you not act disgusted when my dog comes up to you for you to pet her. If you're not a dog person, don't go to the freaking dog park. Amen to that. I always, I feel that way too because even this morning, Rahman, like, ran up to this guy who clearly wanted nothing to do with dogs or other dogs. He just wanted to play with his dog at the park. And I'm like, just go find a field, bro.

Don't go to a dog park. There's going to be dogs everywhere that want to play with your dog. Caitlin Hanley says, can you not mom shame me for how I deal with my dog. My dog is mine and yours is yours. Oh, I don't know. I would, I would cut a bitch. I would cut a bitch if she tried to tell me how to mom my dog at the dog park. I mean, I get enough of it online, but guys, what is going to happen when I have kids on Instagram? I can't go there. I'll have a lot of can you nots then. Jessica Lynn Marmel says, can you not get to the dog park and hump every dog in sight.

Oh, she's talking about her dog. She's talking about her dog. So her dog runs into the dog park and humps all the dogs. Yeah, that's awkward. You know, boners and humping in dogs. It's just like two things they can't control. And it's not sexual. It's only sexual to us.

It's a domination thing for dogs. And they just get excited. They don't even care. They're just rocking boners everywhere. We're the sickos for thinking that it's sexual. Megyn Erwin says, Can you not freak out if a dog barely jumps on you? You're at a dog park.

I know it's not ideal, but again, you're at a dog park. Yeah, that's a big can you not? My can you not pick up your dog shit in the dog park? We're all running around there stepping in it. I don't understand. They provide bags. You should bring your own bag. You're at a dog park, clean up after yourself.

Ellen Hetzer says Can you not keep your dog on a leash at the dog park Do people do that? Yeah like that's stoops Sips stubs Sarah Smith says Can you not get my number from my dog's tag And creepily text me when I leave the dog park

No Can you not That is creepy a F no way I would have a word with that doucher or that douche canoe i'll never forget i went to go into uh my hotel room one time and a man came off on my floor i saw i saw that he was on a different floor he got off on the floor that i got off on i go into my room five minutes later he calls my room number and asks me if i want to come up to his room and i was engaged at the time i was like i was like are you

kidding me i'm engaged and he went i'm married and i went you're disgusting and i hung up I should have reported him. God, what a freak. Can you not? Courtney Barnum says, Can you not let your kid eat chicken nuggets at the dog park and then get annoyed when my dog gently steals one out of your hand? This is a park.

This is a dog park, not your kid's park. You can't bring chicken nuggets. Ramen would be all over that. And he's a well-behaved dog. He is such a well-behaved dog. I don't know how we got so lucky. Jessica. If you guys don't follow at King Henry of Nashville, I met Jessica at one of my live podcasts. And she has Henry, who is her therapy dog. And oh my gosh, I can't believe if I'm going

to get this wrong. Service dog, therapy dog. I'm going to look it up because I know she's very, she's filled me in that there's a very big difference. But anyways, so she trains ramen and he is just he's just such a little angel pup especially on planes and i know everybody has asked me how do you get your dog on planes but the thing is he's a emotional support animal um no it doesn't say anyways you should follow henry um okay chella carter or shella can you not act like you did not just see your dog take a big old poo and not pick it up Thank you, Sheila, Chella, Mrs. Carter. Carissa Hardcastle says,

can you not freak out when our dogs start playfighting? They're having fun. Now, this is something I totally agree with because Raman's an aggressive player, but the dogs love it. Like, they're having the time of their lives. He's not going to kill your dog. Okay, we're going to play a little game. I got to take a breath here.

It was Kenyanauts got me all fired up. Who is more likely, ramen edition, okay? So this is a little game to see who's more likely to do the following things. Me or Jason as dog parents? Not pick up his poo. That would be Jason because I can't deal with throw up. Jason can't deal with poop. We're going to make a great team when it comes to parenting.

But I just, I mean, he does. Jason picks up poo after him, but he's more likely. Okay, okay. Let him sleep in the bed. Me, I'm more likely. Jason always said one rule. ramen can't sleep in the bed lasted four days we love cuddling him every night uh carry him like a baby jason jason carries him like a baby all the day i carry him okay we both do guilty

i jason always like um cradles him and rocks him in his arms and i always pick him up like and bounce him on my head like like he is a child oh god speak to him in a baby voice me i'm the most obnoxious human being on the planet when it comes to speaking in a baby voice to ramen. Like, Jason will sometimes sit back and be like, oh, you're hurting my ears. I go, hey, little babies, you little schmappies. His head just turned and looked at me. That was annoying.

Let him eat people food. Neither one of us. I mean, he basically eats people food because farmer's dog is, like, the best food in the world for him. And it's human-grade food. but we don't ever feed him people food like from the table or anything because we don't want him to get into any bad habits. Try to take a ramen selfie. Both guilty.

We're dog theme apparel. I want all of the, I want ramen on everything. That would be me. And who's more likely to FaceTime ramen? And that would be both of us. We're so obsessed with him. I love him so much. All right.

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And that's why I, for one, love to wear my personalized shirt with a picture of my dog, Ramen Noodle himself, with the quote, send nudes as in noodles. Get it? Send noodles, you get it. And I'll wear the shirt whenever I want, whether you like it or not. But how could you not? Zazzle.com, spelled Z-A-Z-Z-Z-L-E, is the only place you need to go to get customized anything. No more searching forever to find a unique design.

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slash Vine now to start creating and receive 20% off sitewide now through December 31st. Go to Zazel.com slash Vine for 20% off sitewide Zazel.com slash vine. Okay, so I got some questions from the Vino's about ramen.

You know, I love a good ramen themed drunk dial. If you don't want to listen to it, you don't have to. Sarah Howe asks, Has ramen eaten any gross things at your house like feminine products or underwear? No, just my dog. Okay. No, he's not yet, but why is that? It's like nails on a chalkboard for me to think about, oh, chewing a tampon.

One of my girlfriend's dogs did that. I'm actually going to throw up. That's gross. No, not yet, but I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for you. Katie Marie wants to know what will ramen and you be for Halloween? I love the chopsticks idea. She said that.

She also asked Will Rahman get a sibling anytime soon? He won't get a sibling anytime soon just because of our travels. And he's such a well-behaved travel dog. And I can't do that with two. But for right now with our crazy schedules, it'll just be an only child. He'll be an only child. But yeah, I think we're going to be noodles and chopsticks for Halloween, at least for the gram. But I don't know.

I don't know. I would love any suggestions. for Halloween costumes, something not sexy, something, you know what? I think I might be Mr. Rogers, but then what would Jason be? I want a couple's theme costume, but I don't want it to, like, I want nobody to have ever thought of it before. Paige Catherine Edwards asks, did you have to convince Jason to get a dog? Advice for someone trying to convince their significant other.

Now, here's the thing with that. Hi, Bubbies. Oh, you're so cute. Sorry. Here's the thing. I did and didn't have to convince Jason. I said I was like, I have to get ramen. I already donated to his surgery.

I'm so in love with him. I feel like he is my perfect dog. And Jason said, you know, I just don't think the timing's right. And my answer to that is the timing is always right to save a dog. That, like, they're so. many dogs out there that need a home that will go to kill shelters that just like you just can't make up excuses so ask your significant other if they have a soul and if they do then they will get a dog but then i guess i'm being a hypocrite because i'm like well i can't get another one because i'm traveling

but you know what i mean i'm trying to do my part here stacey oh i'm going to butcher your last name i apologize. Stacey Hedgewows has a few questions. Do you feed ramen any people food? Okay, no. What was the hardest thing for ramen to learn when training to stay? He just gets so excited and he won't wait. Do you have, oh, and heel. He's really good at walking by our side now, but heel was a tough one. Do you have any habits or rituals you and Jason do with him before bed every night or before you leave the house? um we turn on music he prefers classical uh we shut all the doors to every room so that he can just stay in the little area by well the living room dining room front door area and we have our furbo cam so we can shoot him treats that's for when we leave for before bed we um take him for a walk we give him

a little CBD treat he does have hip dysplasia and he is I mean, his leg from surgery is pretty much healed, but you can tell he still gets sore after playing, so we give him a little CBD treat. And then we cuddle the crap out of him. Yeah. Courtney Page Calfels says, question about ramen. Hey, oh, question about ramen and his medium reading. I'm considering doing a reading for my pup, Kirby, because she has anxiety, separation anxiety mainly. Oh, Roman has that too.

And I want to be able to understand her more, what is your opinion on the reading? did you um oh what is your opinion on the reading you did for ramen and how did it positively help you in ramen's relationship i'm going to find her information because so many people ask me and i haven't gotten around to just figuring it out i'll get her information oh i did actually from amanda bunnies and bunnies buddies i did get her information i'll put it out to you um i'll put it on the instagram page for off the vine um but yeah it was really interesting because of his, you know, he was rescued and so he was just, I know this sounds crazy, but once she communicated to him that this was his forever home, he did seem like more calm and comfortable

and not so anxious. It's definitely worth a try. I mean, why not try? I know it sounds crazy, but I totally believe in that stuff. She said, also side note, my best friend is a pet portrait artist and I have VIP tickets to your Austin Live podcast. Oh my God. And want to know if you want a pet portrait of ramen noodle. Of course. Of course I would. Another shout out for a pet portrait is, hold on, let me get to it. Perky Prince. P-E-R-K-I-E prints. Oh my gosh, this girl is incredible. She used to do portraits of Tucker and now she's working on one for ramen. She's insane, insanely talented. Highly recommend going to follow her if you have a dog. Definitely get her to do portrait and um and your friend in austin give me her name so i can give her a shout out too but i would love

that okay we have a couple confessions madison christwell i thought it would be cool to potty bell train my golden doodle lane is a puppy uh i was nursing i was a nursing student at the time so i would leave for a few hours for clinical she kept using her potty bell but I noticed it wasn't as loud anymore didn't think anything of it then one day I was walking her and noticed something shiny in her poop she ate the bells off the potty bell oh at least she pooped them out and it didn't like get caught in her intestines intestines intestines I don't know uh Kelly paisley Cohen one time my husband went into the cupboard to grab a snack he found some jerky went hard on a few pieces before I went to the kitchen

and he was going hard on those good buddy snacks for the dog oh my gosh that's funny i tried dog food once that's a confession there you go brie she was feeding her dog and i just did it for shock failure i just grabbed a chunk of it it wasn't like dry it was like the wet oh it tasted terrible poor dogs taylor madden confession i may have had to take my dog's temperature at home one night i also may have forgotten which at-home thermometer I use when my husband got sick and needed a check for a fever. I feel like I need to at least say I had washed them with hot water and soap. Still gross. I know. Soap and water. It's fine. That's pretty gross. Emily Ellis, I feel like this isn't a confession

because everybody probably does it, but we have to occupy our dog Huck with some sort of bone treat anytime we have sex. Otherwise, he'll cry at the closed door or sit there and stare at us the whole time. Hashtag dog parent probs. I'm trying to think of what Robin does. I feel like he's just chill. He's just so chill. You should see him right now.

Just laying there like a little angel. Thank you. Okay. Alicia Panyer. Confession. When I pick my nose, I feed my dog. My boogers. No!

No! And he likes it. Oh, my God. he's going and he likes it when he sees me touch my nose he looks at me like i have a treat oh my god that is an unbelievable confession thank you for sharing your name and your confession i want to give you a treat for that oh my god you feed your dog your boogers oh you Americans say boogers. Oh my God. Ooh, that's going to take a wild for me to get over that. Oh, okay. Oh, but you pick your nose. Oh, God. Okay. Holly, kill crease Anderson. My friend,

she named Buster, who we had growing up ate a pair of my thongs and we didn't know until he pooped them out. How are these dogs? How is that just like traveling through their body and coming out the other end. That's impressive. Hannah Reesis. My dog Harper is really anxious and freaks out getting her nails trimmed at the vet, so I hired a mobile groomer to come to our house to cut her nails. She was being held in a place. She was being held in place and trying to get away and was so anxious and scared her

anal gland spontaneously shot anal jule. Anal juice across the room and got all over me. She also pooped all over the groomer's lap. Good time. Thank you for ending that with good times. Oh, my God. Ooh, I feel sick. Thanks for that, guys.

I'm dying. Okay, well, thank you for sharing your confessions. Thank you for asking the questions. And thank you for still listening if you're still tuning in about that dog life. Any person out there without a dog is like, boring. Actually, those confessions were anything about boring. Thank you guys for tuning in. I hope you have such a great weekend and go vote for me.