Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Drunk Dial: Game of Phones

Episode Date: May 10, 2019

Today's drinking buddy was Lo VonRumpf as he and Kaitlyn commiserated over just starting Game of Thrones in wake of the final season. Taking time to laugh at themselves and the participants in this year's Met Gala theme the duo don't disappoint in answering all your questions and of course deliriously dial some digits! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I have thought it over and far from being a fat pig. You are very nice. And I would like another drink. Take a barf, drunkie. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you drunk dial. You know what? I've decided that the drunk tiles are just. going to start. I'm not going to have an intro. I'm just going to go into it. And so I'm

like, hey, everybody, this is Drunk Dial. And I'm Kaylin Bristow. Today on the show, I'm just going to be like, I'm going to be like, hey, you want to talk about Miller Light? Because I do. And this show, this episode, is brought to you by Miller Light. You know what? I've really made it in life. Yes, yeah. I'm doing a Drunk Dial podcast sponsored by Miller Light, and I am not angry about it. Did you know that Miller Light was the beer that launched the light beer category. No. Yes, it was. I promise. Miller Light is the original light beer and from the start, it is never compromised on taste. And that's because it's always brewed to have more taste with only 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs. Miller Light hold true. Wow. I know. You

know what? I said before we started this, I'm like, Jason's going to be so turned on when I say that because that's his favorite beer. Miller Light. Yeah. That's what he orders at the bar. Oh, Says go to. Give me that Miller freaking light. Yep, because it's locale's and that guy's got to keep his gear tight, you know? Yeah. Yeah. God, is his gear tight.

This is the longest we've gone without seeing each other and I just miss him. That, dick. Oh. Sorry. Why do we always jump into the topic of dick? Remember last drunk tell? We're like, oh, yeah. I'm a putz my dick, you know?

That whole thing. That's just, you know, beer and dick. that's just where we go on the on the drunk dial podcast low thanks for being on my I was waiting because I'm like how is she going to segue this into dicks yeah speaking of dicks I have love I'm like thanks host oh gosh thanks for being here so when's the last dick you got dry season it's a freaking desert storm right now oh they're the drought is Still going in L.A.

Yeah. Really? But it's my, like, I'm choosing to. Oh, good for you. Withstand penetration. Okay. Anal sex. Well, you're really missing out since you got those butt wipes that smell like lavender.

That's true. Thanks, good wipes. Yeah. Good wipes. Today's drunk dial is brought to you by Miller Light and butt wipes. Yep. No, I've just, I've been abstaining purpose. Like, it's an intentional thing.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm just trying it out. How does it, has it working for you? So far. So good. I actually love it. Anytime I think, you know what, I need to be with someone. I'm feeling a little risky right now. Like I want to have some fun. I masturbate. Yeah. And then I'm like, I'm good. Like, yeah, you're just over it. You're like, wow. You're like, I'm really mad. I had that thought earlier because I am good. Yeah. I don't need to go out to that dinner or whatever. I think I'm just going to sit this one out. Yeah. I'm just going to take a knee and do it myself. Yeah. So just to be candid. I'm just masturbating. And you know what? I keep saying, I'm like, masturbation is such a healthy topic.

A, so is talking about your period. B. We all do all of these things that we should be comfortable talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Especially when it's like two friends and it's a safe place. Like I keep saying about certain headlines that come out there sometimes when I say things. I'm like, you're taking it out of context.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. They usually do. Hey, take this one. Masturbation. I like it. Yes.

She does. All right. Same. Put that in your headline and frame it. What? That was stupid. Anyhow. Well, I always feel very comfortable with you.

So I just automatically am like, I masturbated today. I want you to be that comfortable with me. Go there. What did you watch? Did you watch Game of Thrones season one? Because that shit is a soft core porn. It is actually soft porn. The perfect transition.

God, I'm obsessed with you. Speaking of erections. Yeah. How is that? Game of Thrones. You know what? We're both starting it. I know.

And it's very sexual. But I heard that that's not how all seasons are. Like, I guess season one is just really, really, um, blood and naked bodies. Yeah. When that girl eats the heart to prove that she can be a queen. Is that in the, I didn't see that? Are you watching? I am.

That's a huge part of it. Oh, I missed that part. Okay. You can't be doing something else while you watch Game of Thrones is what I've learned. Yeah. Because, first of all, I can't even keep up. I'm on episode seven, I think, of season one. And I'm still like, who are the Lannisters?

Yeah. The McAllister's, the Montague's. Kevin McAllister. Is he the short one? Yeah. I just know that the freak in Jason Momoa's smoke show and. I can't believe you like those freaky ones. I do.

Yeah, they scare me. They're like. It can get dangerous. They just have sex in the streets and then kill each other. You're like, I'm down with that. love it oh i'm like oh i like john snow he seems like a nice man oh not for you oh you're right he's a gangster oh i guess so yeah yeah so far no i like more of like the savage like yeah the raunchy shit yeah that that floats your boat that's what you masturbate to

Darth rocky porn is that Darth rachie how do you say it dothrakey dothraki who's the girl who's the Who's the little gangster girl who doesn't want to be a lady And she's like a badass who wants to sword fight Colisey. Aria Stark. Aria's cool. Aria Stark is my girl. Who's the woman who's sleeping with her brother?

Who's her brother? Cersie Lannister. And Jamie Lannister's her brother. Oh yeah. And they're having sex. Would you? No, I can't. What?

No. You don't have a brother. No. Would I have sex with my brother? No. I wouldn't. Thanks for asking. Would you ever, would you ever date?

A cousin. Second cousin. No. That's illegal. Is it? Have you? No. I've been attracted, but I've never. No. Okay. Here's the thing. I was watching a Dr. Phil episode and these first cousins are in love. They're dating. Look it up on YouTube.

Was that Dr. Phil or was that Jerry Springer? No. Is Jerry Springer still around? I don't know. I saw him at Disneyland not long ago. I took a picture with him. Show still running. Obviously said Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. He's like, if I had a fucking nickel, bitch. I know. It's like so old. No, Dr. Phil had two people on and they're in love and their cousins.

So I wonder, would you... Now, I want to be happy for them, but I'm not. No. No. That's illegal. That's your family, bro. I guess. You can't fight love.

What if you found out Jason was your second cousin? Bye, Jason. No. You would still be into it. No, I wouldn't. You sick out. Yeah, you would. He'd have to change his name.

to Jason no Moa. Jason no Moa. But we were talking about Jason Tardick, my boyfriend. But you're getting rid of him. Oh. I get it. God, I'm so sorry that took me a while. I'm better than that.

Jason, no Moa. Yeah. That's good. That was really good, yeah. I was like, oh, he thinks we're talking. Oh, no, I'm the dumb one. Damn it. Well, can we like keep up on the episodes with each other and, like, talk about it?

Because we did that with The Handmaid's Tale. Oh, that. was good. Yeah. Yeah. Um, is Jason starting it as well? He, no, so he's already watched. He's all caught up. So we do FaceTime's and we go on FaceTime at the same time and he watches the episodes with me so that he can talk me through everything. And that really helps. Also, I've learned that turning on the subtitles really helps. It helps you follow along a lot more. Um, and if you just carry a little chart along with you, um, if you Google like the families, I'm really into so much work. That is a lot of work. Um, what? I'll stick with Fuller House.

Oh, RIP, Aunt Becky. I know. Won't see you on the next season. Wait, do you think she's going to be off the next season? Yeah, they've already canceled her. Damn it. You can't have Aunt Becky on Fuller House, the most purest show in the world. That's true.

That's just full of happy family stories and golden retrievers. And then throw Lori Lachlan in there with her unfortunate story. Yeah. Right? No, I agree. Oh, my gosh. you know what's, I'm having like a moment right now where I'm like, oh my God, I was just on the Bachelorette episode tonight and I put out a story getting people to ask me questions and I have one. One person.

Yeah. And they just want to know best and worst style memes. What does that even mean? It's actually more for me. They're like, can you ask low? They're like some good brands. We had enough of you on our TV screens tonight. We're over it.

Can you ask low? There's no way you just got one question. Maybe I need to refresh. That's over a million people. Yeah, but not over a million people watch my stories. God, I'd be getting some serious cash flow if that was the case. Okay, let's see. I refreshed it.

Let's... Okay, we got more questions. Okay, we've got six. Okay. Cass Peefs wants to know. Next fashion trend. Next fashion trend. Yeah.

We're going into summer time. Yeah. Can you predict the future for fashions are everything. Really? Yeah. Like girls wearing really chic turbans. I like that. That's a trend that's kind of always been around.

But like everything cyclical all comes back around eventually. But that style that like 1960 Elizabeth Taylor turban. Also, also the time of like, I mean, crop tops and stuff are cool. And that whole 90s vibe is definitely going to keep happening. into summer the upcoming trend but that like old hollywood vibe the like very like madman if you're familiar with that show like that 1950s silhouette of dress yeah girls love it really and it's like that i don't know it's like a make america when it was like the golden time are you a lot of girls love that right now do you think that's going to be a lot on the met gala red carpet is that a red

carpet thing what's the met gala no met gala has a theme every year What's this theme? The theme this year is... I didn't even know that. Is camp. Camp? Yeah. Not like going to like army.

No. No, no, no. What kind of camp? So like if you just like camp, like have you ever watched a movie and said like, oh, this is a campy film? Like, no. Yes. Okay. Yes, you have.

I've never used that term in my whole career. But that's what the theme is for the Met Gala? Mm-hmm. So. Campy? So it's like very like. Like people are supposed to be funny? No.

Nope. It's very theatrical and over the top. Think like Vegas show girls. Think like Barbie is very like campy because it's like all pink and like Casey Musgraves dressed like a literal Barbie, which is so or Lily Collins dressed like Priscilla Presley at her iconic wedding to Elvis. So she wore like the big bouffant hair. Oh yeah. Like Zendaya brought Cinderella to the Met Gallo red carpet. Totally.

And then I think her stylist dress is like the fairy godmother. Yeah. Which would be our Caitlin and Loma. We would totally do that. That's what we have to next. I act like I'm going to be invited. You are. Next Met Gala, let's do that.

I wouldn't put it past you. I somehow find a way to like do a podcast on the car. Do they do a carpet? Am I crazy? What is it? The Met Gala. Yes. It's put on by Anna Wintour, the editor of Vogue.

And it's invite only. And it basically is a night to celebrate. celebrate designers. So every designer gets the theme and then they have to create some custom magical piece that goes in alignment with the theme. There's a specific host they chose. This year it's co-hosted by Lady Gaga. Last year it was all Catholicism. So it was like all medieval Catholic type. Oh, I like that. Yeah, it was cool. Medieval vibes. How come I don't know this stuff? I mean, well, it's like you'll see it in magazines and stuff. But like if you're not into fashion, like you could care less what Alexander McQueen is putting on the red carpet with Katie

Perry or is that like Freddie Mercury okay well I heard queen yeah I heard all I heard was queen is that like the royal family now Alexander McQueen is a designer but anyway I think I knew that you do I know maybe probably not it's I it's fun to look at Metcgala stuff is fun to the dresses are nuts JLo dressed like a Beyonce moment like she do you know the movie bodyguard imagine Beyonce went as Beyonce she would she would yeah and would be iconic okay yeah um did you ever see um Whitney Houston in the bodyguard yeah of course god oh you were about to walk out that movie like transformed who I am today but JLo referenced queen of the night which is

Whitney Houston's iconic performance okay oh that's cool she has like the beads all over her Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cool. Oh, that's, what would I do? I don't know, man. We could do so much magic with you. I would want to be Zendaya, like she did that Cinderella thing and you do the, that would be cool. I would like to dress you up like a Barbie, though, like Casey Musker.

I'll show you her outfit. Okay. Was she at the Met Gala? Yeah. Wow, get it Casey. Couple Grammys and she's at the. Yeah. While you're looking, Alex Rascone.

how do you get over a broken heart that requires a few different things sorry i'm looking at Jeff's pulling up pictures behind you and it's Barbie oh that's case oh yeah yeah yeah that's what that's who he pulled up yeah she looks oh seline is goals in every way what do you think about seline dion's fashion game i love it she is out there and i am into it she's yeah she just takes wrist, which is cool. She was always a little corny to me back in the day, a little cheese ball. But, like, I love that Celine Dion never, like, you never saw her, like, falling out of a club or having, like, a messy divorce or like. She's very French. Very French. Very Canadian. She's very class. She's classic and timeless. Yeah. And she appeals to everyone. So I like

that she, like, revamped her image and now she's all stylish. Totally. How do you get over a broken heart? Have you ever had your heartbroken? Yes, I have a couple times. What did you do? I wanted to kill myself. Oh, God. I did. I was so, I know. I was so bummed. Broken hearts are one of, it's one of the most depressing feelings in the whole world to have your heart broken.

It's like, like serious. And no one can help you. Nothing anyone says will help you. Nothing. I don't even feel, sometimes I feel like you just have to grieve and like sit in your emotions and be sad. Like, don't try and get over it. Just feel everything and let time heal you. Totally.

I yeah I think that I will say that I feel like I always wish that the person died because it's harder for them to be out without you and be living their life than to know that they're not there I know my therapist has told me that before yeah when getting over a broken heart sometimes it's almost more difficult because if someone dies it's like oh my god they're not here but with a breakup like no they're here I feel so dark for saying this but I felt that way about Tucker I was like it's harder for me to know that Tucker is 20 minutes down the street than if he passed away. Like it's, it kills me. Jeff. What's worse when you have your heart broken by somebody else or when you break your own heart through your own actions? Oh, oh. Your own heart through your own actions. Because if someone's breaking your heart, then you could justify it or make them a villain.

But if you're the asshole that did it to yourself. Yeah. How do you forgive yourself? That's a tough one. That is a tough one. God, I don't like to think of. Neither. I'm getting depressed. Me too.

I'm sad. But you know what? What helped me was I did, like you said, I felt everything. But I definitely gave myself like markers of like, okay, like I have to make sure I get out of bed. Yeah. In a week. No, it is. I seriously, sometimes you need a week of just crying in bed and then you have to give yourself small goals.

Like get out of bed. Yes. Go for a walk. That's what I did. Do something. I was like shower. Yeah, shower. That was on my list.

no I believe you yeah it's I mean so yeah baby steps and just like don't be so hard on yourself and I think knowing that what you feel right now you think life is over but knowing there's light at the end of the tunnel that you will get through it and then you'll look back on it and be like I'm so I'm actually grateful and you'll hold some sort of space for gratitude about the breakup mm-hmm it'll lead you to other things I'm trying to find one that isn't weird I don't mind a weird one. Okay. Oh, okay. This isn't weird. This is actually quite normal. I'm glad she asked. Her name's Jess. I'm not going to say last things in case people don't want me to say it. Can you talk about when you don't feel like having sex? Is that normal to go through times? We just talked about that. Yes. It's very

normal. And I think sometimes people in relationships like in the first however many months of that honeymoon phase and you're just obviously all over each other and having sex all the time. Then people are like when it stops, they think that something is wrong. But sex actually, I had a sex expert on my podcast. She said sometimes it's just like putting your shoes on to go to the gym. Like the hardest part is putting your shoes on. But once you're there, you're like, this feels so good. Why have and I been doing this every day? And I think some people just get in the habit of being lazy or being tired or letting other things get in the way of their day. But you have to actually just put your shoes on and do it. Wow. You're welcome.

What did you just listen to there? You just get in the bed and you're You just, you know what, close your eyes and make it happen. I'm like, wait. Was that good advice? I was trying to be serious, but now I'm like, what the hell was that? No, I think that's good to like, it's like going to the gym. Sure. Sometimes you guys, that's in a relationship, though.

Is she talking, is this person saying like in a relationship, she's not having sex? Oh, I don't know if it's a relationship or just. Probably like. I'm thinking relationship. The sex is like dwindling. What we're getting at is, yes, that's very normal. but talk about it with your partner too like why is that happening and what you guys can do to spice it up communication is everything as long as yeah you guys are open about it sometimes relationships

don't need a lot of sex though i actually it depends on the type of person you are i like to have sex constantly um when i'm in a relationship yeah outside of it i'm good but in it i'm like it's tuesday what what is what is your sign cancer i feel like i was reading something about a sign the other day and one sign is like really sexual i am very i'm more affectionate like i love physical touch and that type of thing really which sometimes satisfies more than even the act of having sex like yeah just that type of thing i agree massage or something like that's a cute from anyone sure can you rub my feet right now under the table um oh see somebody said thank you so much for being open about sex. So needed. Okay. Her name's Kay. I can relate to this one. I started a new

relationship quickly after a long term. Sometimes I feel guilty for it. I too felt a little bit of guilt just because, but I think it's, but I think I felt guilt because of what other people thought. Not, I didn't actually feel guilty in my own heart because I knew what was right and what was wrong and when my timing was right. But I felt guilty because other people were questioning me. So I think you have to look at, why are you feeling guilty? Do you actually feel guilt or do you feel wrong because you think you've done something? Like from the outside, it looks wrong. Mm-hmm.

And if it is that in the outside, then fuck it. Yeah. Like, who cares then? You have to do what makes you happy and you can acknowledge that you might hurt somebody else or that you feel like you might be doing something wrong, but you're not. What's, is there like a protocol? Because I haven't been in this situation, but like, okay, minus you because, well, yours was very like public in the sense of people were like you broke up with me kately

right people took it personal but um for like people that aren't in the spotlight like that like if you're dating someone and you break up what is like protocol for like decent for how long until you could be in a relationship with someone else does it matter i don't think it should i think it should just be where why did that relationship end when did it really end had it been over for a while and you just were unhappy and And so when the breakup happened, you had already started to grieve that and then you're moving on. I think it's like, why are you doing it? Are you trying to fill a void?

Because that's wrong. Don't just jump into another relationship because you feel lonely and you want to be with somebody. It should be just like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Let's take one call and then wrap up this drunk dog. Hello. Hello. Hi.

How are you? I'm a new thing. How are you? I'm good. Is your name Chelsea? It is. Oh, hi, Chelsea, you've got Caitlin here and Lowe, and we're just scrolling through so many questions that I got, and we found yours, and you gave your number, and you said, first of all, you said you're from Toronto, so I was like, okay, a Canadian, and you said you had a story. I was like, a good Canadian story. Hit us with it. Right. Yep.

I'm super late. I'm so glad it, like you guys called, I say that, for 12 hours away. Yes. So my story is probably, it says last year in October on Halloween, my friends all went out, and I was. by myself, then go out to time, and I was like, what am I going to do with myself? And I thought, I'm going to take myself out. And it just so happened that Jason, Blake, Dean, and some of your other crew were at one of the clubs. So I was like, okay, I'm going to go there, check it out. They were all in the VIP section. I was like, how do I get myself there? And I'm all about networking. So long and short, managed to get in the VIP, chat with them. And I have a huge

crush on Blake. So I was like, okay, how do I get myself talking to him? So as the night progressed, I finally made my way to him after I, like, got through the sea of women. And we made contact. We had a good connection. And then by the end of the night, he asked for my number. So I thought, okay, I'll type in my number in his phone, okay?

And then what happened from there was I went to go call him from my phone, or from his phone, sorry. And they were in the midst of grabbing a cab to jet off. And Jason was like ushering them to the cab to go to the next place, I guess. And my call, I thought it went through, but it didn't go through. So he asked me for my number, but I don't have any way to contact him. Well, call me a matchmaker of our generation. Guess what? We have Blake on the line. Yeah, because we have Blake on the line. Oh, my gosh. No way. that's crazy oh so okay well now i have your number so i'm going to take a screenshot of this and uh send it to them oh my gosh imagine you guys imagine i reconnected you and you fell in love and

you got married oh right now i'm going to have to go wearing like a scrunchy or something right like it's the whole that's what really catches the same eyes right yes you have to be in a scrunchy was jason behaving is all i want to know oh for sure okay you are they're both great dancers Oh, I know what event you're talking about. That was, I wasn't actually, I wasn't like that with Jason yet. We were actually just friends at that point. And I remember him. Was he wearing the Canadian tuxedo thing?

Not yet. They went to the sick kids event the fall week. It was when they were, what was it? Oh, they're at figures. I don't remember. But you were the cutest little Canadian. Like, you said so many Canadian things in like five seconds. It made me so happy.

You were like, I was out. I went out. And then you said, oh, sorry. And I was like, oh, my God, you're so Canadian. No, I love. I love it. It makes me happy. I love it, too. I almost apologized again.

Don't be sorry. Well, thank you, Chelsea. I'm really going to send the screenshot to Blake, and we're going to get to the bottom of this. Yes, amazing. I was so scared. You were going to tell me it was Jason. No, no, no, no.

A girl knows her boundaries. Yes, girl, especially a Canadian one. I love it. Thank you. It's weird that I was like, this is going to be so. I tried to get to one of your live podcast, but they sold out so quickly. too i was like holy heck and i almost wrote to like denver oh damn it okay well next next one i go to

you know what i've got your number and i'm going to hook you up with a ticket yeah girl i love it yes you got it chel's chasing dreams that's her instagram name oh oh keep chasing them dreams and uh we'll we'll talk to you soon okay amazing okay bye bye i love her cutie patootie i'm like trying to you know what I'm going to look her up because now I want to see what Blake was working with over there chills that's it for drunk dial

I mean I was fun it went by so fast it was quick it felt like a little appetizer well that's what drunk tile is I want the main course a little

a little taste that was my beepbox want hear my beatbox yeah ooh oh what do I make it

That is sick. Okay, bye. This week's drunk dial is sponsored by.