Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Drunk Dial: Mexico Mañana

Episode Date: July 12, 2019

Today, it's a special Mexico travel edition of Drunk Dial as Kaitlyn prepares for her trip south. Find out who Kaitlyn wants as the next Bachelor when she breaks down Bachelorette hometowns. Kaitlyn answers some, "Would you rather?" questions for air travel. And one lucky listener (who actually answers their phone...) gets a rousing renditions of Happy Birthday! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I wanted to impress Jason's family. I wanted to impress Jason. And this trip might be a little different. I'm not going with Jason. I'm not going with ramen. I'm going to miss them both. But I'm going with Cleo. So I'm sure you will see all the shenanigans on my Instagram story.

But anyways, my week so far has been really, really great. I finally have had some downtime. I've been taking ramen to play. So ever since you guys heard that last great therapy where I talked to a dog medium for Raman and they were talking about his behavior and how it could change. So her name's Sally. I'll get her contact information for you and I will put it on my Off the Vine Instagram account or maybe I'll do it in the Facebook group.

So on that note, my Off the Vine Instagram page is down because I, well, it's not down. I got a new phone and I can't for the life of me. remember the password and it's not joint to any email account that I have. So I'm trying to figure that one out. Luckily, I have a contact over to Instagram. So stand by. So if I haven't been posting on that, that's why. But I will, I shall return. So, Raman, I'm not joking, you guys. She, Sally said to me, you know, now that he knows this is this forever home, you just watch, his demeanor could change. I've never seen him so crazy in my life. I mean, he is an absolute nut job and I love it but like he runs around the backyard and front yard like a crazy man

I'm a little worried about his leg when he does it because he goes ham outside he just goes nuts and he's been just like jumping on the bed he jumps around he growls he barks he's like just wants to play at all times he just seems like a crazier happier pup and and just more like I don't know content at nighttime he still cries a couple times but last night night we had actually the last two nights we've had nights straight through where he didn't cry. So he's definitely, definitely seeming like he's feeling more comfortable and himself. And I'm sure that has a lot to do with his leg feeling better as well, but I can just tell in his personality. So I'll get Sally's contact information for you guys because it's very, very

interesting. And also, the bachelor, bachelor at hometowns. Can we talk about this for a second? Peter, if that guy does not get picked and is not the bachelor, I mean, we say this every season and they seem to somehow go against all of the viewer's thoughts. But I swear Peter would be, you know, the Ben Higgins 2.0. Oh my gosh, I would hate if somebody said that about me. The like newer improved version. I'd be like, but he'd be like a Ben Higgins, you know. He just seems like such a good guy, a good catch.

He's got a good job. He's got a great family. He seems ready. He seems down to earth. He seems like he's not in this for the fame. I don't know. I'm a big Peter fan and his hometown just solidified that. And I'm sure everybody in the world agrees with me. I am so curious when it comes to guys like this. And also Jason, he got, I was going to say he got a good at it, but no, he just is a good guy. But I always

wonder, do they get any trolling? Because poor Hannah is just, you know, really hearing it because the majority of trolls are insecure women who want to come after other women. But I always want to No, do people like, Jason said he got it a couple times, like a, you know, there's always people that aren't going to like you. But I wonder, does anybody not like Peter? Because that would be crazy. Luke P's hometown was, I mean, I felt bad because I feel like he is a probably deep down nice guy and his family sees him as a nice guy. And I don't know. I just feel like he's gotten a bad edit. And it kind of, that kind of came to light when we saw his family. They're like, no he's a really nice guy and everybody loves him and everybody his church loved him and

nothing against religion it was a little too preachy for me at that hometown date but i know that faith is really important to hannah so um it's not my date that's just my opinion and who else was there tyler c he seems to have an amazing family we all really like the fact that they were having cocktails on the beach and he didn't use a straw which is so 2019 of him and just way to go green Tyler and just also be good looking and great for the environment. So there's that. And yeah, he just seems like a good one too. I mean, he's, I don't know if he's going to like be the one. I don't know if he has bachelor potential, but I know everybody really likes Tyler C. And then Jed, it was just the whole awkwardness. Like his family was clearly like, what are you doing? We thought you went on

this to come back to your girlfriend. We thought you were on this to, you know, go after your music career. and now you're telling us you're in love or at hometowns like what the hell is happening you could see that even if we didn't know what we know about jed we would still see through that family they were clearly concerned about him being there anyways i'm disappointed in the ending you every week you tune in to see who's going to go home you know we've all been waiting for luke to go home knowing like come on he's not going to be her one i really highly doubt it and each week i'm like what and this week especially. I was like, no, you can't keep them all. But too chay for like being the girl that takes

four to fantasy sweets. I mean, you, you know, get it girl. But we wanted to see one go home. And I think all the guys were super disappointed too because they're like, really, you have this strong connection with four. And then I always relate it back to what I went through. I'm like, I couldn't wait to send guys home. I was devastated. I remember sending Ben home and just being so sad because he was somebody I was connected to and had a bond with and I had to say goodbye. But I knew I'd be friends with him outside the bachelor world. So I don't know. I was excited to send guys home because you just want to get down to that one. But, you know, to each their own. And I just want to support Hannah in any decision that she makes because I know she's having a hard time. And with, you know,

there's people talking crap. There's rumors. There's this, that, and the other thing. So I think she just really needs some full on support. Let's go into a would you rather travel edition, since I'm going to Mexico. I'm going to Mexico twice this month, by the way. I can't wait to tell you guys why for the other trip. That'll come at a later date. Okay, would you rather miss your flight or lose your luggage? I would 100% rather miss my, oh, that's actually really good.

I'd rather miss my flight because I just get so angry at people when I don't get my luggage. Like, miss flight is usually a maintenance problem, which I wouldn't want to fly on a plane anyways if there's a maintenance problem or like weather and you can't do anything about the weather but when somebody loses my luggage i'm like who is working for this airline and why don't they care that's what i'm going with join the mile high club and get caught or never join at never join i would never want to get caught that would be humiliating and then you're just stuck on a plane for the rest of time like you don't even know where to go you're just caught and then you have to face the people you know what the other day i was on a flight this is so embarrassing

for this guy. The guy that was sitting beside me, I was in row one, not a big deal. I was in row one and the guy beside me went to the bathroom and he must not have locked the door properly and turbulence went and the door flung open and he was just standing there peeing and he like looked back and like made direct eye contact and I was like and then I had to fly the rest of the flight with him. It was super awkward. Would you rather have a seven hour delay or realize that you're at the airport a day early and have to go home? Seven hour delay. There is so much to do in airports. I'd go get a massage. I'd go have a little nap. I'd go have a drink at the lounge somewhere. I'd go to the Delta Sky Club and just eat all the free food. Hell yeah, seven hour delay.

I'd happily take that. Sit next to a baby or sit next to a cat. Oh, baby, 100%. I love all animals. Not a big cat guy. And I love babies. I don't even care if they're screaming. I'm like, can I help you? Can I hold it? Like, what do you need from me? I'm here to help. Would you rather get food poisoning on your trip or bring home bed bugs. Oh, I don't know. I have a huge, huge fear of throwing up, so probably bedbugs, even though that's disgusting. Wake up without your phone or wake up without your passport. By the way, these questions were made by Cleo for me, so I haven't read them yet. Would you rather wake up without your phone or wake up without your passport? Oh, good Lord. I would rather wake up without my phone because I have it backed up and I could just go get a new one.

passports a whole freaking process would you rather have free flights for life or free hotels for life well that just all depends on the hotel i'm a loyal delta flyer i would love free flights but i'm okay with paying because i get bumped all the time so i would probably take the free hotels hotels are expensive also are flights are hard spend the entire day on a flight or take a red eye and not sleep I would rather spend the entire day on a flight I could get emails done I could have naps I could have wine I could have food yeah red eye not sleeping

everybody else is sleeping so I can't like text anybody yet no would you rather travel to every continent or travel to the moon I can't say I have any interest in traveling to the moon is that stupid I'd rather see the world If I see the moon, it's like, that's like some serious training I have to go through to go to space. Don't people get sick up there and throw up? Like, moon, the moon, not for me. I'll take every continent.

Travel alone or travel with someone you don't know well, alone. Hands down, 1,000%. I have a single state of mind. I just like my alone time. I just, I don't like small talk. I like to put on my headphones and just do my own thing. All right. So as we all know, I'm pretty much all.

always on the go between taking ramen walks, traveling to record the podcast, going out with friends, I have friends now, by the way, going out with Jason, or just dealing with all the crazy things that come my way. We all have things in our life that really make us who we are. And sometimes they take away time from taking care of ourselves. You can't give up the things that make you feel you. I promise you that, but you can maximize the limited time. You do have to fit in some you time. And that's why I love Birchbox. Birchbox is a monthly box. of you time. Taking care of yourself can be as simple as taking five minutes to yourself in front of the mirror. Your birch box is a monthly reminder that you deserve that you time and you should

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slash Vine to learn more about Birchbox and use promo code Vine to get $5 off your own monthly box of U-time. That's promo code Vine at birchbox.com slash vine for $5 off your birch box. Okay, let's get to some stories and confessions. Oh boy, I'm reading some of the people, like Brandy has a story for me about a trip to Mexico with her boyfriend and advice about not drinking the water. Okay, we also have a story from Kristen, this one involving an awkward couples massage. I'm kind of into that. Okay.

Erin has a drunk Mexico story, which involves her grandma. Okay. Lisa got back from her bachelor party in Mexico a couple days ago. Okay. That could be fun. And Brooke doesn't have any Mexico stories, but today is her birthday. If you want a surprise, call with her. Okay, I'm going to pick.

Kristen, I want to know about this awkward couples massage. The person you are trying to reach is not accepting calls. Kristen, why are you not accepting calls? calls. I wanted to hear about your awkward couples massage. Fine. Fine then. I'm going to call Brooke. I'm going to sing her happy birthday. Hello? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Brookeie Pye. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Oh, thank you so much. Do you know who this is? Caitlin of course

Oh what the heck How do you know You're just like Oh Caitlin's calling me Yeah whatever Of course she is Well I feel that you call from a black number And I just know your voice by now

That's true Okay Toucho that's very fair Happy birthday, what are you doing Oh thank you I'm getting ready to go to a social cocktail hour For my sorority Oh my gosh

That's so fun Yeah That's awesome What's your drink of choice Oh, I like mojitos or moscow, or margarine, anything with an end, basically. I like that. I'm drinking a pretty basic tequila soda right now because I'm getting all warmed up for Mexico this weekend. But I'm doing a cheers to you, and I hope you have such a fun night,

and I just wanted to call and say, happy birthday, and this is your chance to ask me anything. Oh. I know I didn't prep you for this. Yeah. Let's see. What has been your favorite moment this year? Oh, this year. Okay.

My favorite moment this year was probably the second that ramen came out of his little crate and I rescued him and he jumped into my arms. That and then when Jason came home from his trip and I got to introduce ramen to him. I wondered if it'd have to do with ramen. That's so cute. I love it. Yeah, of course. I'm obsessed with him. Oh, my gosh.

Well, happy, wait, how old are you turning? 31. 31. Oh, my gosh, Kate. Well, 30s are the best years of your life. So enjoy it. And happy birthday. Thank you so much, Caitlin.

I really appreciate it. Of course. I tell your sorority, I say hi. I will. Okay, bye. Bye. Little cuty, sweetie, brooky pie pants. Everyone I call us always so freaking stinking cute.

Okay, well, then I guess we should do one more Mexico story. I really want to know what happened to this girl's grandma, to be honest with you. Let's see. Oh, no. Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. Is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options.

Oh, wait. I meant to call Erin for a Mexico story that involves her grandma, but I think I called Lisa. Let me look at the number. Oh, yeah, totally called Lisa. Hey Lisa, I heard you just got back from your bachelor party in Mexico a couple days ago. Kind of wanted to hear a crazy story, but you ain't answering. Anyways, have a good weekend. Okay, well, it's fine because I dialed the wrong number anyways.

Here we go. Hi, Gary, you breached Aaron Ruth. I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave me a message and I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks, bye. Hi, Erin. it's Caitlin Bristow calling here from Drunk Dial. Really wanted to hear about a drunk Mexico story that involves your grandma.

So if maybe you could tweet it or do a little story and send it to me so I can post it because I'm very curious now. And now that you didn't answer, I'm even more curious, okay? God, please tell me the story. Son of a bee. It's really looking forward to that. Okay, well, I'm going to end it with this, you guys. I'll always look up what national day it is.

And this Friday is National Simplifying Day. So it's about simplifying your life. Let's just start with a day. I mean, I make everything very complicated. So I'm just going to try and work through this day to simplify things. So I'm going to give you a couple tips. And then you can, you know, take it for what it is, write it down, put it in your notes, or just stop listening right now and not care about it.

Whatever is going to make you happy. tips to simplifying life identify what's important to you the list will include things like goals and activities while we don't all have the ultimate goal of reaching mars don't dismiss the small achievements those don't necessarily equate clutter their stepping stones however if they aren't a part of the bigger picture consider slashing them when it comes to things you have to admit we hold on to some things for sentimental reasons on the other hand we buy too much junk for all the wrong reasons. Identify the ones that are the most important and get rid of the rest. Put a ban on impulse buying unless it's scrunchies or wine. Make a list for any shopping trip. If it's not on the list,

it can't be bought unless it's toilet paper. That's one exception. Otherwise, you will get by until the next trip. You will also see an improvement in your bank account. And last one, when it comes to activities, consider the ones that are time wasters and have no value. Again, which ones are important to you? Do they bring you joy? Do they improve? You or? You, or the world around you. If the answer is no to any of these questions, why is this activity still in your life? Okay?

Super simple. I think it's simple, but it has a lot of meaning, and I think it's really important. So National Simplicity Day, July 12th, do what you will with it. I think those are pretty simple little steps. So if you want to write them down and just try and practice them through your day

or even your weekend, let me know how you feel Monday. That's all I got for you guys. Sorry about the missed calls. Again, if I ever call you on drunk dial, it's probably going to be the night before and it's probably going to be from a blocked number. Not that I don't think we should be friends,

but just, you know, for safety's sake. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Enjoy your weekend. This week's drunk dial is sponsored by Hog and Daw's Trio Crispy Layers. Pick them up at a store. near you and birchbox head to birchbox.com slash vine and use promo code vine to get five dollars off