Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Drunk Dial: National Birthdays
Episode Date: July 5, 2019It's a celebration as Kaitlyn and Jason recognize Canada Day and 4th of July on today's Drunk Dial! You won't want to miss the loving nickname Kaitlyn comes up with for Jason after an inciden...t at the driving range. A spontaneous duet of White Christmas in July just for good measure. And of course the happy couple hops on the phone so we can hear some 4th of July mishaps from the listeners. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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podcast one presents off the vine drunk dial it's all about dialing digits and making
questionable decisions let's get it started
So before we get into this drunk dial, let's talk about our jeans, shall we?
I always had a gene debate with Jason about washing them.
You know that.
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All right. Welcome to this week's very patriotic episode of Drunk Dial.
I say patriotic because I'm drinking red wine in a white shirt that says USA with blue sleeves.
Looks like the Miracle 1980 USA hockey jersey.
Pretty freaking hot, actually.
Oh.
Who did the United States play in the semifinals and beat in a huge upset in the 1980 Olympics in Lake Placin?
Russia.
Correct.
Was that the championship game or the semifinal?
Semi-final.
Bam!
Two for two, although I kind of said that earlier.
You did?
Yes.
I actually missed it.
I just knew that one.
Well, anyways, also, happy Canada Day to those Canadians that are listening.
I think there's a few of you.
I just put this on my post today.
What a beautiful thing.
We get to celebrate Canada Day, Fourth of July, and we get two freaking Thanksgiving
days in the fall.
Do you remember when you asked me if Canadians celebrate Christmas on the same day?
No, I did not.
didn't you no wrong wrong guy no no I'm not saying it's a guy
but somebody recently asked me that and I laughed and I thought it was you
I made my girlfriends in Nashville I have this really solid new group of
girlfriends in Nashville which I'm really happy about
but they they all dressed in red to support Canada Day
and we went for sushi and then we went to losers and had a nightcap that we
probably didn't need to have but it was fun so much fun
how many nightcaps I only had one I left the girls I don't know about that I've never
gone out with you where you were like yeah let's get a nightcap and it turns into singular well that's
because i had so many at sushi and i respect it and we had a great time at sushi anyways uh what do you
typically do on the 4th of july to celebrate because your mom said sent you a text today saying that
you guys usually had parties so we had you know one thing it's interesting growing up is you never
really know obviously you know your parents where they are but you always wonder like what are they
like and then when you get older and you like think about the times back when they were grown up
I'm like, damn, my parents partied.
Really?
And when we had, we had a great backyard, a fire pit.
My dad built a bar in-ground pool, and every Fourth of July, that was like our thing.
We had the music blaring.
He had all the beer in the world, drinks going.
Kids were there.
The grill was, the grill was grilling.
I mean, it was great.
It was your all-American Fourth of July.
I think at least, I can remember off the top of my head.
It's during the day, but there was at least three or four times that, like, police were called because our party was so wild.
Oh.
Get it.
And meanwhile, I was in, you know, middle school, high school.
We weren't drinking or anything, but our parents liked to have a good time.
And my mom shot me at Texas today.
She goes, it's always sad thinking about Fourth of July.
I remember all the good memories of the kids running all over and the parents having such a good
time.
Yeah.
It's just a beautiful holiday.
Yeah.
I can't wait to, I like that I get to celebrate a couple things being in the States and Canada.
But that's one thing I do look forward to is when we have a family is having like a Canada Day celebration
and having all the American friends over and Canadians.
and celebrating and then being able to do it again in the same week.
It's a beautiful thing.
It's a lot.
It's good be a lot.
I like to hype us up when we do well.
I like to pump your tires when we're on top of things.
But I'm also honest when we suck.
And we have sucked this Fourth of July.
This has been the weirdest Fourth of July I've ever had.
The weather put a damper, a little damper on our plans.
Because this morning we woke up, and for those of you, I mean, when you guys are
listening to this, it'll be Friday or after.
So it's Thursday right now.
we woke up 4th of July and we had a great start to our day we went to our favorite little
bistro cafe place is gold it's amazing there's like six there's six tables everyone's like hey y'all
and like gravy and biscuits and pick out your own mug coffees coffee station it's the best a bagel
and cream cheese is a dollar 99 yeah and it's all old school like like all the mugs are
really old school there's old school signs everywhere they play old school episodes of like saved by
the bell or old TV shows and I don't know I just love it can I play a quick game
price is right price is right rules okay tell them your order I'm gonna tell him my order
and I'm gonna tell them what the bill was but so then like one of the song son a song
welcome to the price is right this is your host jason's arctic and katelym bristol
kately for your order today what did you have I had
Two eggs over medium with home fries, hold the butter, dry wheat toast, and a cup of coffee.
Oh, and a pancake.
Two pancakes.
No, just one, one extra large pancake.
Jason, what did you?
I had a coffee probably refill three times.
We had an egg white custom omelet with spinach, peppers, onions, and jalapinos, and it with
American cheese, wheat toast, home fries.
And I also shared your pancakes.
And I also ordered two over-meadles.
Now, to the audience, what do you think the total cost of all that is?
Well, Bob, usually, something like that would cost a folk probably.
Wait, let me think about this.
3792.
You went over.
What?
How much was it?
It was $16 and $9 with a $4 tip for $20.9.
Wow.
Unbelievable.
It really is.
How do you make money on that?
16 bucks are all that.
Because they only have four tables to feed in there every day.
God, I love Nash.
And it's always busy.
Oh, you do, hey?
All right.
So I did it in a lot, but it was a fun game.
Pass Cafe.
Okay.
Then we took ramen for his very first swim in the disgusting Cumberland River.
The water is not clean.
Don't say that.
Well, there's a lot, I mean, there's a lot of actual beautiful bodies of water in Nashville.
The Cumberland River is a little dirty.
So why did you choose the?
Cumberland Ritford.
Well, because it was really close and people still swim.
I'm not saying it's not swimmable.
It's just a little gross.
Anyways, whatever.
We get a shower now.
Yeah, we do.
We do.
And we have a road trip coming up to Chicago tomorrow.
Anyway, so we took him for a nice swim.
We come back.
We're like, okay, here's the plan.
We're going to go to the gym, get a quick run in.
And then we're going to go to my friend's boat.
And we're going to have a great day on the water.
And then we're going to go to this pub that's on the water.
And then we're going to watch some fireworks.
I don't know.
and what happened was it was a massive thunderstorm
and it's just been crap weather
and we couldn't do anything
we ordered postmates
and had a nap
while watching Stranger Things
Weirdest 4th of July ever
But we're gonna make up for it this weekend
We're going to Chicago
We're going to see Whitney and Ricky and her new baby
I love the city of Chicago
You're gonna love Whitney and Ricky too
Can't wait to meet them
Yeah
And we're going to the best house
Steak House in town Gene and George Eddy's
I can't wait
When mouth salivates thinking about it
Well, now you just invited everybody there.
Oh, shit.
It's okay.
Nobody knows.
I mean, we're going to.
Not that nobody can be invited.
I don't think about these.
Whatever.
Everyone come.
The place is great.
What we're saying is we hope everybody had a more celebratory day than us.
Even though we're, I mean, we should be a little patriotic.
It shouldn't just be about partying, right?
I mean, I think that's what Fourth of July is.
Right.
No, but more importantly, it's a day you look back at all of what we've accomplished in this country and Canada.
And while there's a lot of volatility, like we all have, and there's craziness, especially today, we all have so much to be thankful for for being born in either Canada or the states because we have our freedom and we always have and not many people do.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree.
And when I say we always have in our lifetime, because obviously we have progressed, right?
We hope you're not hungover today, even though you probably are listening to this.
All you vinyl is listening, but the good news is it's Friday.
And you have the whole weekend to recover, or not recover, you can keep going.
But do people get Friday off after 4th of July or just 4th of July off?
Just 4th of July.
Now, usually you'll get let out of work a little early on the 3rd.
Like most companies will shut it down around 3, maybe 12.
But the next day, that's a rough go.
It's kind of like the day after the Super Bowl.
Right.
The day after the Super Bowl on a Sunday should be a freaking holiday.
Yeah.
Amen, brother.
What is your drink of choice for Fourth of July?
Because I feel like Fourth of July, you're usually got water and it's hot out.
Like, you're not drinking red wine.
No, no, no.
I like a nice crisp, well, crisp cider.
I like a nice crisp cider.
Can you whistle for us, too?
I did it.
You're making fun of my both.
Funny story.
Kately and Edden, we were spaghetti.
Eddie the other day. I'm like, are you okay, chewing like that? And she couldn't slurped it up.
And it was because of her Botox. And today we're talking about whistling a song. She couldn't whistle. She's
like, shit. I used to be able to whistle before my boat. Here's the thing. It's, it's, it sounds like
it's such a bad thing. Like, oh, she got too much Botox. But really, I actually, I asked her to
overdo it a little bit. And that's my bad because it's hard to explain. It's really funny.
It's just funny.
But gosh, my teeth,
wait, my smile is not gummy.
It's not.
And that's what I know.
Whatever. That's what you do what you got to do.
Hey, true or false.
True or false.
Go.
One in eight people in the U.S.
have been employed by McDonald's.
True.
Correct.
This is Merricka edition of True or false, by the way.
I love it.
Three of found,
do you know how McDonald's made their real money?
They own all the real estate.
oh
fun fact
three of the founding fathers
were under five foot two
wow
today junior
true
two of them were
that sound
oh maybe
it just sounds like a
like
Alexander Hamilton
founding father
ten dollar bill
great musical
Arizona
Hawaii do not observe daylight savings time false no that's true i i knew that
arizona doesn't nope really really you learn something new every day yeah you know what when
you tune into drunk dial it's very educational holy shit balls i did not know that holy shishka
what do you what do you say holy holy Toledo and cheese balls i will say out there you know one
thing can i take a quick time out with uh like when we so now
living together we have we have a lot more conversations if you will but then than normal because we
when we have issues what i mean by that is when we have issues we just put it all on the table
so you know obviously living together you have to learn like how you're accustomed to things but
i think a cool thing we learn is when we open pandora's box we have these discussion we usually
have like one word we take away where we'll say the word and it brings back the memory to the conversation
we're like oh okay you're right yeah got to work on that and it remember
mind of me because you said I have no I have no idea how we're coming full circle here but
you said what do you call that again and I said holy Toledo cheeseballs what is that
it reminds me of our like sayings weird lingo or weird we have like a dictionary between
the Jatlin dictionary holy Toledo and cheeseballs and also what else do we say um what did I
say to you today I'll think of it I'll think of it.
Another word, true or false.
The national dog of America was declared to be a brown Labrador.
True.
False.
I'm really on fire here.
The average American consumes two hours of reality television per day.
Per day?
The average American?
If this is true, I'm disgusted.
It's not.
False.
Just Mondays.
Americans eat about 100 acres of pizza,
each day.
A hundred acres of pizza per day.
Per day?
Oh, stop yelling at me, man.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, in total, you're saying like, chill up, bro.
Just because your 4th of July is a little off, sleeping in a stranger things.
I'm going to say in total.
So I think you're saying, like, as a country.
So I'm going to say true.
Yes, true.
The highest consumption of any beverage in America is milk.
Did I say it right?
Milk?
It's spelled M-I-L-K.
milk milk say pasta no okay just answer the question true false is it h2 oh remember the time
when we first met and i did buffalo or bluffalo game that was so good that was good um was that
true or false um the last question false do you know what the answer is soda no way really no i don't know
I don't know.
I don't know.
But it's water.
I actually don't. You know what? I probably should have found out the actual answers for these. Yeah. So that I could back it up with something. I can't keep going. I mean, nine true or false. I know. Okay. Well, that's it. That was my true or false game.
That was it. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine questions. I mean, nine true or false.
How do you think Drew Carey became the host of Price is right?
That's what you're thinking about right now.
Well, I'm thinking what game was better?
Price is Right or this.
And our Price's Right game was cooler than the true or false game.
And I'm like, wow, Bob Barker's the freaking man.
And I'm like, how the fuck did Drew Carey get that job?
I agree.
I mean.
Like, what the hell?
You know, it's because nobody could have replaced Bob Barker.
Nobody.
So Drew Carey is an odd choice.
I think when Chris Harrison's like 80 years old.
Oh, he should.
He should take that over.
That's a great call.
We'll put in an application tomorrow.
But it's got to be contingent on the fact.
Chris is 75.
That's actually really funny because he would be a great host for that.
Drew Carey is an odd choice,
but the funniest part of all of that is that that's what was on your brain there.
I saw you stare off into the distance and I was like,
what's he thinking about?
And he said, how the fuck did Drew Carrey get to be the host of the price?
I'm in a weird mental state right now.
Okay.
What else you think about?
I don't know.
Come on.
I don't know.
Why does my face get red when I drink red wine?
Oh, you're allergic.
This is a problem.
I'm not quitting.
Yeah, I don't think I could date you if you were.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
But that's a problem.
Okay, so, Kate has a story that she wants to share with us that involves fireworks and pee.
Something about urinating and defecating on this podcast.
Because those are the two central themes.
bodily functions and fluids and all that are it's like it's very private and embarrassing
when it happens in front of people don't you agree yeah like so that's like golfing yesterday
oh my oh my god yes can you please share that story no what it's hilarious jason fartick
oh my god that just came to me that's so good first time i ever heard it but i'm
oh oh people called you jason fartic before okay people have it messed with you farty people
No, I'm just saying people haven't messed with your last name before.
People always do.
Tartlick, like, I'm not going to say other things they've said that are politically incorrect,
but, you know, everyone always messes with your last name.
Oh.
And I've heard Fartick before, so you're not the first, yes.
Damn it.
Good effort, though.
Oh, I thought I was being so clever.
Tartick, more like Fartick, am I right?
More like Borephil.
More like Borephil.
Yeah, but you had a little toot at the golf course.
and it was hilarious
it was so funny
so we were golfing
and we were just at the driving range
and
I actually thought it was so funny
because your reaction was funny
big drive
and you put the ball down
I put the ball down
and set up and I was ready to swing
away and then all of a
sudden a duck came by
you know when you think it's going to be like a
silencer pp7 and it's just like you know james bond 2004 yeah i know you're talking about
yeah of course and then it just it just came you know just flew out of there it really did
i just like looked up because there's other people in the driving range and driving ranges are
quite quiet what you do in situations like that let me tell you tell us jason fardick
own it you just you own it you you want you get up you walk away you say the people like to you
Apologies. Maybe say it like Canadian because people are so nice in Canada.
Apologies. Apologies. Didn't see that coming. And then they laugh. You laugh. You share a moment.
You bond and you move on. It was funny because the guy next was had headphones on. So you were lucky there.
But you just walked away like. I just started dying laughing. That's pretty funny. It was hilarious.
Yeah. Okay, wait. We're calling. You're a big silencer, P7.
My toots are never loud. I always whenever, you know when you do an interview or you do something,
and you just know that's going to be the headline.
Yeah.
So my team puts together my video clips.
Very relatable.
Everyone out there's like, yeah, I know every time I talk.
I was saying that to you.
But now.
I'm not the hard way.
Cleo and the team who puts together these clips for the, for Instagram.
I'm like, oh, great, that's going to be the one they use.
Yeah, my toots are silent.
Okay, wait.
Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum I'm Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum. What's your favorite 4th of July song?
Oh, let's talk about that after.
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message.
When will people learn?
Hi, Kate. It's Kate Lynn Bristow.
And Jason.
And Jason fartick.
Oh, God, I'm not going to let it.
Anyways, we were calling you.
Are you a sick bastard?
We were calling you to hear your story about fireworks and peas.
but um well we respect the fact you didn't pick up on fourth of july because if you picked up on fourth of july
because i think final should be partying their ass off on fourth of july okay that's fair that's fair
uh maybe we'll try you again at the end just in case you get to hear this message and then you're like
damn it i should have picked up okay love you bye okay wait that's what i wanted to do is talk this fourth
of july i'm actually going to remember what do you mean oh last you didn't um can we take a tv time
off a little wine okay yeah you know what i'm going to tell them a
story while you're gone tell them sing him a song you're the piano man sing tell us to
karaoke tonight okay is there karaoke in Nashville yeah there's one down the street where nobody goes to
and just fire it up okay um okay so this is one of my favorite things about jason today we were we just
had all the right intentions to like get some whatever workout him and I was like okay well
we just do a podcast with me quick
because I love our banter.
I love when you podcast with me.
And we just do one really quick and then you can go for a run
or we can go for a run around the block or whatever.
And then he's like, okay, I'll have a LeCroix and you have a glass wine.
I was like, okay.
And then I pull out a bottle of spade and sparrows red wine.
And he goes, you really expect me to go do a podcast with you
when you whip out my favorite red wine and go work out after.
I was like, that's why I did this.
I lured you in with the spade and sparrows.
and so here we are drinking red wine i sucked him in and that's my favorite thing about you is that
you know you're just always down for a good time but i'm not i am not going on the road
tomorrow until i get a workout in yeah i know okay well we should podcast from the road and see
uh do a road trip podcast that would be kind of fun okay so i wanted to this this one i'm going
to remember this this fourth of july last fourth of july i was in a very different place okay
A lot has happened in a year.
I went to, everybody knows this because I did a podcast about it,
but I went to Miley Cyrus's Fourth of July party.
We all know that she knows how to have a good time.
And I, you know, I was drinking jello shots.
I was drinking through the day, pool party.
And then at night, little party favors of a little weed.
Never heard anybody until it hurt me when I did an over,
when I overdid my front flip into the water.
And I was just like on fire.
that night. I was on fire and I recovered for at least five days after. It was really a doozy.
So now I'm just, you know, this is a very tame, nice glass of wine.
Like, I'm going to remember this one.
There's so many times in a day, Caitlin tells a story or does something. I'm just, I only
have one response. What's my response? Savage.
I'm a savage. Okay, let's hear about Jade, who says her boyfriend,
has really supported her through some 4th of July bodily mishaps.
Let's give her a call.
The bodily mishaps.
Well, I mean, it's, you know, that's the one thing that comes to mind when people want to confess.
Okay.
Oh, there's somebody who wants to call from Buffalo.
Really?
What's her name?
Sydney.
Hello?
Oh, Jade.
Are you partying?
so hard right now. Are we interrupting?
Oh, oh, my God. Hi.
Happy Fourth of July, Jay.
I am partying so hard, but you're not interrupting.
Oh, my gosh. Get it, girl. What are you doing right now?
I am out on my patio. I have like 12 friends out. I'm feeding them, but I don't think I brought
enough food. Oh, whatever. What do you guys eat? What are you guys eating?
Yeah, what's your? Yeah, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're
What do you guys have to eat?
Are you doing a barbecue?
Or what do you guys call it?
A grill or grilling?
Like a cookout.
Oh, yeah, cookout.
Wait, hold on.
I'm going to go upstairs because my friends are super loud.
Hold on.
Give me one back.
Jade, I like your friends already.
They're having fun.
I like your commitment to this podcast right now because, okay, you can take your time, but.
Oh, I'm here.
I'm here.
Okay.
What's up?
Okay.
So you have a Fourth of July.
story for me. I hear. I do. Continue. Are you drunk enough for this?
I'm maybe too drunk for this. Perfect. Can I ask, Jay, Jay, two quick questions.
I commented on that post, like, on a whim, and I was like,
care what I'll never call me? This is crazy, but holy f***. Jade, I got two questions for you.
Okay, with that. All right. So what do you got?
This is Jason. How's it going?
Hi. Oh, my God. It's going great. How are you?
I love that. Fourth of July.
Also, I'm a fellow upseat New Yorker. I'm from Albanya with us.
Oh, we love that.
The capital in New York right there.
Yes, that's the fun.
All right. So what is your drink of choice on Fourth of July?
We were just kind of going back and forth. I'm curious.
Okay. So today, specifically, I made a beautiful.
sangria. So, like, my
traditional day is sangria.
That's a good choice. I love sangria.
A nice white wine
sangria. Is it made with Spade and Sparrow's wine?
It's what? Sorry, repeat that?
Is it made with Spade and Sparrows? My wine?
No. Oh, my God. No, I'm too poor
to order that. I'm sorry.
It's okay. It hasn't even
relaunched yet. It's soon, though.
Maybe we'll see what we can do for you.
I've seen a lot of rave reviews on the off the vine group, but like, I'm too far for that.
Okay, well, we'll see what you can do.
Maybe we can send you a bottle for the story that you're about to tell.
Let's send a bottle.
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
Yes.
Okay.
Tell us your story.
Okay.
So, what's it now?
2019?
Yes.
So it was 2011.
And a bunch of my college friends and I, we all went down to our,
our one friend's house for the 4th of July, and their family had a house on the Jersey
Shore, so we called it the Shores of July.
Nice.
Nice.
Right.
So I, so my friend at the time, John and I, we'd always been like strictly friends for three
years.
Yeah.
And then for some reason that year, when we went on to the shore, like something weird just
clicked.
And I don't know
Their grandparents had a little boat
In the back of the house
And he's like
Let's go back in the boat
Let's hang out
Let's fly down in the boat
And he introduced me to
Blue Moon
Oh delicious
It's a weird thing to be introduced to
Because I just never had it before
Right
Yeah
So I don't know
It was just like super cute
And he was so nice
And I was like
Wait
All my girlfriends have had a car friend
crush on this guy for three years and I've just never thought anything of him like he's just
been like plain old john but something that we can click so um we were like anyone who lives like
on the east coast if you go like down the shore you're going to like the boardwalk like down the
shore so we went to this boardwalk and john was like oh we got to go on this big ass ride
it was called the moby dick okay i'm not going to something called the
Moby Diff, what the f*** is that?
And he points it out.
And it's this biggest ride where you're all
sitting side by side
and this ride goes like 50 feet
in the air. You're swinging around.
And I was like
12 drinks for me, I'm not going on this shit.
And I was like, I really like
this guy. Like I should probably go on to
go on. And then in the middle of the ride
and he looks at the room and he's like, isn't this the best?
And I'm like,
Oh no. Oh no.
Oh no.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
This girl got this girl that I left.
She was just vomit all over.
And I thought I was going to, like, vomit on him.
Yeah, it was, like, not great.
Wait, did you vomit on him?
No.
So I managed to hold it in until the ride ended.
And, like, they, like, unclipped my little seafel thing.
And I ran off.
I run to a garbage camp, and I just start dry heating.
And I'm like,
and he went over and he's like oh my god are you okay and i was like
booh get away oh no i'm like about to vomit i got that it was terrible so um yeah it was fine
are you guys still together are you guys still together yes oh what a hero okay that's so cute
did he hold your hair back yeah did he hold your hair back yeah did he hold your hair
back?
Um,
yes, he did.
And then he bought me a $6 bottle of water because you're on the boardwalk and everything
so expensive.
And I was like, oh, my God, any guy, six dollars on a bottle of water is so great.
Aw, that's sweet.
We started dating like a couple months later, when me back, so that was like our summer
before senior year of college.
We start dating, yeah, yeah, the next year we go back.
We, um, we start, uh, you know, um, we start, uh,
dating and then the following summer
we go back to the same place
Oh boy. For the 4th of July. Oh boy.
And I have like a lot of stomach
issues and I don't know what the
I ate that I was
shitting my brains
out on that same boardwalk
This podcast, Jesus.
I'm like putting my brains out in a
porta potty. I was like about to punch everybody out
in the line for the port of potter. I was like
I really didn't go and I don't understand.
It was like, it was like a trauma poop.
Like, it was like your body just reacted to be back to the scene of the crime.
Oh, God.
I will never forget that feeling.
It took a PTSD poop.
Like, I'll never forget it.
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God.
I'm terrible.
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Nobody understands.
So I hope you guys learned from this and you didn't.
Did you guys learn from this and maybe not 2 4th of July by the Jersey Shore?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tell me you didn't go.
back again.
No, I think we only went through that first year and that's it.
But today we're throwing a really nice Fourth of July party at our nice new apartment,
and we've been together for eight years now.
Hey, that's actually...
Mazel tov.
Yeah, that's so romantic.
I love this story, and I hope you don't shit your pants tonight.
I'm really hoping to either.
He actually shed his pants last.
Well, he didn't say the toilet last night.
Oh, my God, wait, here he is.
Hold on.
Here he is.
John, you remember how I told you on this podcast?
She's on the phone right now.
Can you say hi?
Hello?
John, you're a hero.
You're a hero in disguise.
John, try to hold back your excitement for being on this podcast.
John, how much would you spend on a bottle of water?
John doesn't care
That's so funny
Okay
Jade
We have to call the next person
But thank you so much
For sharing your story
And we love the romance
And we're gonna really try
And send you
A bottle of the spade and sparrows
So you can make a sangria with it, okay?
Oh my God, thank you so much
Caitlin, I love you
I love you and Jason together
I love little ramen
He's the cutest
Well we all love you
Well, thank you.
And your season was the first season I ever watched of The Bachelor of The Bachelorette.
It's a great one to start on.
And it's still my favorite.
Oh, thank you for saying that.
You're the best.
I'm so glad we called you.
I love you.
I love you.
Okay, have a good fourth.
Okay, you're too.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Thank you.
Bye.
I always love who we call.
What a sweetheart.
I always love every time.
I'm like, oh, my freaking gosh.
This girl's awesome
I know
She was so
She sounds like a good time
Do you think?
Yeah
Oh my gosh
First word
They came to mind
Savage
By those are savages
And by the way
Savage is like the best thing ever
Oh I bought a shirt
It's like you're versatile
You're strong
You can weather the storm
You don't give a shit
You rock and you kick ass
Go jade
And you shit your pants
and own it
yeah and own it that's the best part
I can't even talk about tooting in the wrong place
without turning red
it's so funny yeah it's so funny
just see how different
yin and yang
yin and yang
um okay well thank you for joining me on the strong doll
I think we should take Sydney from Buffalo
what's her comments it's about fireworks gone wrong
let's let's do it okay
Buffalo's a small city
Oh gosh do you know her
I don't know what's your last name
I don't I don't know it says Sydney from Buffalo
Buffalo's great but Buffalo's like it goes bad
It's like don't scare me
No no no no no no no of course not
You Sidney I'm just kidding
It's just funny how like everyone knows everyone
And like just listen to the way I just said
I'm like what's her last name like that's how small Buffalo is like
Oh what's it's like everyone knows everyone
It's not a small of Ladook
But you go back to cities
That's how I was telling my buddies, like, who are very business oriented.
Like, you go back to cities like that.
Go to, like, some of these new progressive cities.
You can see what they're doing now.
It's going to happen in Buffalo just a little bit later.
Okay.
Let's go.
Let's do it.
Hello?
Sydney from Buffalo?
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, let's go, Buffalo.
Hi, Sydney.
Let's go, Buffalo.
Yes, it's Caitlin and Jake.
Jason, obviously. How are you? Oh, my God. I'm about to, oh, my God. How are you? Are you celebrating
right now? Yeah, I'm with my family at my house. Where? Where are you guys live?
I live in Lewiston. Oh, Lewiston is beautiful. So it's right by the falls. I know. Big Italian heritage.
The food out there is unbelievable. Amazing. Oh, my gosh. I need to come there.
Okay, well, we'll make this quick because you're with your family. But we need to, we need to hear your story.
obviously we love that you're from Buffalo
and we need to hear your story
involving fireworks gone wrong.
Can you step away from your family
to tell the story or do they know?
Yeah, I will.
So this was actually like three years ago
and when my brother still lived with us
and his friends, they're like all crazy
and he, the one guy brings like three fireworks
and he was like, oh yeah, like my dad gave me these.
I don't know like where they're from.
They look kind of cool though and we're like,
oh, like let's light them off.
And I was like, these look like a little sketchy.
And, like, they are, like, illegal in New York for a while.
So, like, they, like, fireworks just became legal.
So we're, like, this might be, like, a bad idea, but we're going to do it anyway.
Oh, boy.
And we have, like, a lot of neighbors around us because I live in the village.
Yeah.
And so I was like, maybe I should go ask my dad, like, make sure we can light off a fireworks.
So I ran in.
I was like, Dad, could we light off a firework?
And he's like, yeah, sure.
Because you probably thought they were just, like, the little one.
A little firecracker, yeah.
Yeah.
So, like, I ran outside.
And I was like, Dad, Kevin said that we can do it.
Or I said Kevin, Dad said we can do it.
And he was like, okay.
So we light it off.
And we just put it on the ground with like a ball on top of it to see how far the ball would go.
Yeah.
And it goes off and leaves a huge crater in our ground.
And the ball launched and, like, landed in like five neighbors over.
And there's like an elderly couple that lives behind us.
Oh, no.
And all you hear is them go, Jesus, man.
Mary and Joseph, and, like, all the neighbors come running out.
Oh, my God.
Shards of random stuff everywhere, and, like, the chief of police is our neighbor, so he comes running over.
Oh, wow.
It was wild.
If this was caught on video, this would be trending on Barstall Square.
Yeah, seriously.
If we have it on video, I don't know where it is doing.
Oh, we need the video.
Okay, you need to find it, or try at least.
Try at least so I can post that.
that's oh my god i love that that's such a you know what i appreciate that that was like a really
good fourth of july confession and funny story and that it didn't involve pooping your pants
no right i was trying to think of what i was like i gotta find a good pooping my pants for it
we got enough of um yeah that's it's okay our last caller uh jade she she told us about some bodily mishaps
so so we're good and we appreciate your call and and thank you for sharing that with us and
And if you find that video.
Yes, we'll be back.
But more importantly, we are focused on October 6th.
The Buffalo Bills are coming to Nashville to play the Titans,
and Buffalo is taken over the whole city.
There we go.
It's going to be pandemonium, baby.
Oh, gosh.
Okay.
Sydney, thank you for sharing your story and tell your family we say hi and happy fourth.
I will.
Okay.
Happy fourth you guys, call Ram and I say hi.
I will.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
That's so funny.
Okay, so our friend Megan, she who watches ramen sometimes, has the exact same accent as that girl.
Oh, no way.
Yeah, I was like that sounds exactly like Megan.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
We have a weird accent.
You don't sound like Megan.
That's so interesting.
So Megan's from South Buffalo.
So, like, you know, different areas, different accents, I think.
I don't know.
I didn't even think I had an accent until I left Buffalo.
Yeah, you do, but you have more of a Canadian one.
Anyways, cheers, babe.
Thank you for being.
on the drunk dial again
I always seem to
reel you into these things
but it's better with you
I like doing my 20 minutes by myself
or whatever I'm with drunk dial
I like calling people
but it's nice to have you
That's good to be here
You're welcome
Well happy fourth
And I hope everybody's feeling okay today
I'll be fourth
Canada day
Fourth of July
Things are good
Going to Chicago
Mm-hmm
Life's good
Life is good
Enjoy your weekend everybody
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