Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Drunk Dial: Road Tripping
Episode Date: May 24, 2019Today, Kaitlyn and Jason are in Seattle! Join in the excitement as Kaitlyn makes two BIG announcements first about her relationship with Jason and second about a new family member... Bottles ...get popped and phones get called on this episode of Drunk Dial! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Damn it, damn it.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you drunk, I'll.
Happy Friday, everybody, I just made that up.
Is that a catchy tune?
That's a catchy tune. Keep going. I want to hear more.
Okay. It's almost the weekend, but technically it is. Go get drunk.
Happy Friday. It is Friday. Let's go. Friday. Let's go.
Friday. Let's go. I knew that one.
You really caught out quick.
Anyways, if you can't tell we're excited, it's Friday.
TGIF, baby.
TGIF, which is more exciting for people like Jason who have a job.
You know what day it is?
Friday.
Well, yeah, we've already established that.
It's national road trip day.
Really?
You know how there's always a national day for everything?
Have these existed before?
Do people just come up with them now?
And who funds these?
Yeah, who funds these?
Who pronounces?
Can we come up with a national day of some sort?
Sure.
Today, June, no.
You're a little excited for June, aren't you?
Yeah, I'm excited for June.
That's just why we're popping champagne, which we'll talk about later.
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information. What day is it today? The 20, what? Today is May 24th Friday. You know what else it is?
What's that? It's national, national Jatlin Day. Wow. Yeah. Self-proclaiming it.
Did you see I was looking around your apartment? Yeah, for anything. I was like, national, you know what, Jatlin.
National Jatlin Day is May. I already forget what day it is. 23rd? 24th. 24th.
Okay, so happy, happy Jatlin Day to you.
Here, let me pour you some of this sparkling rosé that you picked up.
Okay, that's very sparkly.
So National Road Trip Day, and I thought we could talk about, you know, funny road trip stories.
Sure.
Maybe we can talk about a road trip we have coming up.
Mom, are we there yet?
Oh, are you going to be one of those?
Yeah, what do you like on a road trip, by the way?
I cannot picture you sitting still for a road trip.
issues with it yeah it's not but you know today it's different than back in the day okay one more
discipline than i was when i was younger but two dude there's so many options now you got great
podcasts like yours you got sports podcasts you got so much entertainment now you can literally
bring an iPad up and it's like you have a movie theater at your disposal well you can yeah but
that's distracting well now i'm saying if you're driving i'm saying if you're uh you know so jason
and I are going to take a road trip from Nashville to deep breath yeah to um
Vancouver just a quick 38 hours but we're doing that because we can't fly yet anyways
what do you mean by that oh we'll figure that out soon okay so what are you going to be like on
the road trip are we going to listen to podcasts are you do you pee a lot do you have a small bladder no
okay me too but I will say it like once you break the seal you know once you're having a couple
drinks and I break the seal I can't stop peeing you can't drink drive fame no I know I'm just
saying in general if anybody else can understand when you break the seal when you're out
that's when I pee a lot other than that I'm good you um yeah I have like the largest bladder
in all of the land I think our biggest issue traveling 38 hours is going to be strictly speeding
tickets yeah both drive way too aggressively yeah we're gonna have to tone it down maybe
pump you know what we'll get a radar detector oh radar
Reader detector.
You know the best way to get out of tickets?
No, you just put on ways and it says a police is coming up.
Yeah, but.
What's the best way?
No, the best way to get out of tickets is saying you're on your period.
Well, Jesus.
So I did a 10-week police academy back in high school and I thought I wanted to be a police officer,
which after that 10 weeks, thank God for what they do, but decided it wasn't for me.
God bless them.
The officers told me that when you get pulled over, they're typically walking up to the car with their guard is up because they don't know what to expect,
what's going on.
And if you could bring their guard down
and just take ownership,
just say, you know what?
I would do that.
You know, you're right.
I was speeding or I was listening to music.
Usually they'll let you go.
At least that came directly from the cops.
Okay.
Cops mouth in Amherst, New York.
The cops in Canada don't have their guard up.
They're like, hello, how are you doing?
How's it going?
How's it going?
Just don't speed again, okay?
Oki-dokey.
Like your dad got pulled over.
Yeah, he did in my Jeep.
My dad calls me while we're in Mexico,
goes, hey, Kate,
uh, house is great.
everything's great, your neighbor's really friendly, and also your cops are very nice.
Sounds like, what happened?
And he goes, yeah, I got pulled over in your Jeep.
Your registration expired in January.
You might want to get that fixed, eh?
He's like, they're just great men.
Yeah.
You know, they just were so kind.
My dad's a great man.
Who could be mean to that guy?
I don't know.
You got issues.
Anyways.
Okay.
So I got a road trip, would you rather?
Tear.
Back road or highway?
For the purpose of efficiency?
Highway.
Okay.
GPS or old school map?
GPS.
I love the idea of a map, but how do people do that?
That's too inefficient.
If you're not driving, are you unplugging or are you using your phone?
It's not fair to the driver to be completely plugged in unless you have an agreement that
when you're off duty, you can plug in.
We're going to have to draft up a contract before we go.
Minivan or convertible?
Minivan.
McDonald's for every meal or never at all?
Every meal.
Yeah.
Chain hotel or bed and breakfast?
Bad and breakfast.
I like a good shitty motel.
Oh.
I know.
It's the weirdest thing.
It just like makes the road trip.
It's so contradictory of you because like you have to be in first class for flying,
but then you want a shitty motel.
Yep.
It's just the experience.
Maybe a couple bed bugs.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Oh boy.
I'll get you sometimes.
Playlist, audiobook or podcast?
Podcast.
Drive by yourself or with a full car of people?
I will say audio books are pretty solid.
I'm into audio books.
She's a really solid.
Super into that.
Keep going.
Play list.
Oh, wait.
No, I already I said.
Drive by yourself or with a full car of people.
Full car of people.
That's what we're different.
Yeah.
I would like silence and.
Nobody.
Introvert, extrovert.
Yeah.
What's your go-to snack on a road trip?
Cheez-its.
Ew.
Biggest debate.
I've ever had my social media that just went insane.
Cheez-its or goldfish.
People were so passionate about this.
Goldfish.
You were split down the middle.
People went off.
See, I'm Cheez-Its.
I like the flavor better.
Cheez-its are disgusting.
I'm sorry.
And that's going to, I'm going to get some backlash for that.
You're taking goldfish over cheese-its with the understanding.
You want nothing to do with cheese?
Wait, are goldfish made with cheese?
Oh, is that stupid?
I think this conversation ends.
Is it a chees-it in the shape of a fish?
You know, a goldfish, golden goldfish.
Yeah.
Of course I know.
Or orange-colored.
They taste like cheese in their crackers.
But what kind of cheese are they?
I don't know.
Cheese, it's weird me out.
I don't know
First rainbow sprinkles
Now cheese it's
I'm really starting to question things
I'm trying to think of my favorite snack on a road trip
Gushers
I really like a good trail mix
Fruit by the foot
What are you 12
Rice crispy treats
Well now I want some
We're in such a good mood
I can't wait to tell everybody why
I'm literally so happy right now
I don't even know how to contain myself
We're going to play one game
And then we'll get to our story okay
Lego
license plate game do you play games on road trips i'm a big game guy okay i know you are big game
guy too but tell me about the games okay well this one i play um on the road is the alphabet game so
if you see a sign that starts with a you call it out Alabama okay got it alabana alabama and then
b and then whoever gets it first okay i got an email okay so this license plate game you pick
someone from bachelor nation or one of your friends that we might know who would be most likely to
have the following license plates oh that's good and we could post them okay so pls please
stf you shut the fuck up who who who who would have that license plate me jordan kimball no there's
better ones for him okay this this would be you that would be me but there's a lot you could have a lot
of plates yeah but that would be one of them it feels like vino oh vino i know i know that would be
you. I heart vinos. Off T-Vine. Okay. Tirds. Just the word turds. The word turds. All right. So who do you
got for turds? I feel like Garrett. Garrett would have a license plate that just says turds. Perfect.
That is perfect. Wait, this one might be yours. Ready? Going be B, just the letter B, and then an L and an eight.
Gonna be late. No, because I'm usually not late. Well, you're late for like things that don't matter. I also want to tell you.
I can, I'm sorry to anybody out there that has them, I cannot stand custom license plates.
I don't think I've ever seen one that I'm like, yeah, that's cool.
You know what I'm laughing at thinking about is this girl, she was super popular in high school.
Her name was Jen Rutter.
Everybody loved Jen Rutter.
And she had a license plate on her Eagle Tallon that said Ruts up because everyone called her Ruts.
That's what I mean.
And she put Ruts up.
I want to hear anybody out there that thinks they've seen a good custom license plate
because I have never given approval on one.
Or anyone who has a custom license plate, tweet us and we'll give you a rating.
Yeah, we'll rate it.
I like that.
Okay, so who's going to be late?
B-L-8.
Okay, next one.
Yeah, next one.
There was a guy in our season, Ryan, he was the banjo guy.
He went on after the final rows.
And he was late, like Chris Harrison came in and gave date cards.
He was sleeping, came down, and was like, so dates are already out.
He's like, and then we'd go, yeah.
He's like, was my name on the card?
No.
And he went back up to bed.
And he fell asleep on a date.
That's the guy.
Wow.
Ryan the banjo guy.
Amazing.
You're going to like this one.
Love 69.
Rob Kronkowski.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's fair.
It doesn't have to be a bad donation and so and everybody knows.
What?
I hate H8.
I hate.
Peas.
I hate peas.
As in like,
urinating or like actual green peas? I don't know. Can you help me? Anyone from your seasons?
I don't want. Moving on. Moving on. I've got some trivia questions for you. Okay. What is the most
visited tourist attraction in the U.S.? And even the world?
Mount Rushmore Statue of Liberty. Time Square. You're close. Okay. Yeah. In the movie National
Lampoon's Vacation, where is the Griswold family traveling?
The name of it is, what's the name in the movie?
Have you seen National Lampoon's vacation?
No.
Okay.
Most movies, the answer is no.
You know that.
I know, that's weird.
Maybe I should do this quick.
What is the largest and smallest state?
Maine.
It's what?
Largest or smallest?
Smallest.
Okay.
Largest.
It's going to either be California or Texas.
So the largest is Alaska.
Oh!
Smallest is Rhode Island.
Ah!
Come on.
What are you, Canadian?
better, buddy. Which state has the longest river?
M-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-P-P-P-I. M-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-M-S-I-M-S-I-M-S-I-M-S-I-M-M-S-I-M-M-M-E-M-M-M-E-M-M-M-W-M-M-M-M-W-N-M-M-M-W-N-N-M-HAT. I was
actually think of business.
California or Florida.
Yeah,
we're really blowing this quiz.
I know.
I'm like, who cares about road tripping?
Because guess what everybody?
What?
What?
Two very big things in the news today.
In my world anyways.
In the Z-list celebrity, last page.
Bottom of the alphabet.
The bottom of the alphabet last page of any type of news.
In fine print.
That nobody cares about.
But we will.
announce. Jason is moving
to Nashville.
Woo!
And I don't mean to downplay that part, but there's
something even better. Something even better. Should we
talk about this first? What? The Nashville move?
Sure. And then talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. So I think
from my perspective, Caitlin and I got to a point where being
across the entire country, you know, didn't make sense. And I think that for the
short term and the long term.
Nashville was the best place for us to be.
It puts us back on the East Coast.
I'll be just a few hour drive for my parents,
quick flight to my brother,
and puts us in a better position for short and long term.
And I think long term,
I don't think we'll probably end up in Nashville.
No, but we have so many plans to renovate in the house
and, you know, do a little flippity, flip.
Yeah, renovate and flip.
And it'll be cool to watch that whole process.
Oh, I'm so excited.
I think in the meantime, we're going to try and find, you know, where our final stop will be.
Mm-hmm.
So we're taking suggestions.
We're taking suggestions.
Because I have no idea where I'd want to live.
I think that's kind of the cool thing about, yeah, you know, you're from the West.
I'm from, obviously, Canadian West.
I'm from Buffalo.
We've lived all over the country.
Yeah.
And we're at a point where we're like, where do we think it makes most sense for everything, right?
Because we just, we're at the next step in our relationship where we want to grow even more.
And we can't do that in long distance.
and we've done it.
Correct.
Yeah.
Correct.
Correct.
So it's exciting.
Very exciting.
Let's go.
Cheers to new roommates.
Cheers to new roommates.
Oh, I can't wait to see what things you do that drive me nuts.
Do you leave the seat up?
That'll make a good podcast.
No.
Do you?
How do you know all these things?
Because it's not like we're staying in separate places.
We'll do a follow up.
We'll do a follow up.
What it's like living together.
I can't even contain.
I think I might cry telling this next part.
but not the first part well i mean i'm just so happy it's actually kind of old news between us
too yeah we've been working on this for a while we've been like for a couple months we know we
want to i think we were both like before moving to the next step we want to live together first
so yeah okay so let's go we are also adding stop saying let's go we are also adding a new member
to the family
oh tell them ramen noodle vinyl bristick
We're getting a duck.
We're getting a dog.
Oh, my God, we saved.
We saved ramen.
Raman, the golden noodle,
howling from Korea and now Nashville, Tennessee,
weighing in at 55 pounds at an age of 365 days.
We think one year is what we're guessing based on,
because we don't know.
And the best part about everything, honestly,
the story is just remarkable.
He, Raman, oh, my God, I can't believe we're getting a dog.
I would cry.
Raman was in Korea and we've found, and maybe you want to turn this part off or fast forward
if you can't handle a sad dog story because it is really, really sickening.
This is tough to hear.
It's, grotesque is the word.
Well, I'm not going to go too much, but he was found on the streets and when they took
him in. They thought he had a broken leg. So they got, you know, they took him to the vet. And this is
Bunny's buddies on Instagram. And they're this unbelievable organization that saves dogs from
slaughterhouses and kill farms. And so, so Rahman was on the street. They thought he had a
broken leg. They brought him in, got x-rays. Turns out he had a broken pelvis from being kicked
too hard and I don't even understand how if anybody is that stick in the head and so they saved him
you know we we saw him on Instagram and I said babe I need to donate to his surgery like there's
something in me that is just I love this dog I mean I love all dogs but there's something I
I'm like I need to donate for his surgery I put him on my Instagram story like a couple months
ago saying like if you want to donate to ramen surgery and then the other day you know
how I am about the universe and signs two little goldens just waltzed into my backyard and I was like
what the heck is going on here and so I tried to follow them and I was like this is a sign from the
universe that I need to get my dog well the next morning Amanda from bunnies buddies messages me and she goes
ramen is ready and needs a home and he kind of wants a mom named Caitlin and I bawled my eyes out
and I said I don't know if Jason's going to go for this because we're not that you don't want a dog
I know you've always wanted a dog
and we've talked about it so many times
and we've always wanted to rescue
and we always wanted a golden
and a German shepherd but
A male golden
We've always wanted a male golden
and a few mile German
Yeah and so I was like
I just have to talk him
Talk to him about the timing of everything
Because as everyone knows
We travel a lot
We're busy
And some people are like
Oh you couldn't take care of a dog
But I'm like I will I will you know
Make sacrifices and shift my life
To make it work for a dog
And I will you know
I'll get him
His certificates
gets to travel with me and he's compact enough and he's just such a calm, calm pup.
So anyways, ramen noodle, vino.
You've got to get the golden in it.
Ramen the golden noodle.
Ramen the golden noodle is his Instagram at ramen the golden noodle.
It's going to be the best Instagram of life.
It'll make your day.
It'll be the refreshing post on your Instagram that you need to see.
He's a male model, Instagram model.
and he is just go follow him.
We get him June 3rd.
I also want to put this out there.
I think a lot of people will be like, oh, you had this plant.
I am telling you, this was like, this was, we knew we wanted a dog.
I think timing wise, maybe this was an ideal.
Because we wanted to give, we want to give the dog the best life ever.
We want to give the dog the best life ever.
And we had talked about it and you've just been attached to the story and you did post a photo yesterday.
Yeah.
And then we started talking, the first conversation yesterday.
Yeah.
How can we find this dog a home?
How can we find this dog a home?
But I kept crying thinking of it going anywhere else.
I cried at least five times yesterday.
And then I also got the, if we don't, it turned quickly into if we lose this dog because
there's over a thousand apps to rescue this dog.
Yeah.
If we lose this dog, I'm going to kick your ass.
I'm like, we're not losing this dog.
We're getting this damn dog.
I genuinely told you, I think I would resent you if we did it.
She said it.
Because I feel.
Yeah, of course.
This is.
I feel attached.
And I remember it was about a month ago when you told me the story and you donated and you felt
so good about your donation.
But yeah, bunnies buddies, bunnies, buddies.
And what they do is they rescue dogs that really are going, I don't want to get into detail,
but have a story in which they need someone to rescue them.
So if you follow their Instagram and you want to reach out to a man.
There's so many to be saved.
Amanda, the founder.
What a great job she's doing.
She's saved over a hundred dogs so far.
We listen to her story in detail.
And it's extremely, extremely touching what she's doing.
And Colton, Colton has worked with Bunny's Buddy, and that's where he got Thor.
Thor was saved.
Yes, that's how I heard about everything.
It was through Colton.
So we have, Jason named him the godfather today.
He's the godfather.
Yeah.
And all my vinos are his best friends.
And the vinos need this golden in their life, too.
It's going to make, I don't even know how I could get happier, and then it just happened.
Cheers to ramen.
Oh, my gosh, he's going to have the best life.
Cheers to ramen.
Cheers to you coming home with me, too.
I'm getting, I'm outnumbered now.
I'm getting two new boys in my life.
The boys are coming in.
Redo, re-flit, and we'll see what's next.
He'll get a bigger neck.
Bigger backyard in the next home.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm just, I just, I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
It's amazing.
But I'm also so sad at the same time hearing these stories about.
Oh, it's, yeah.
It's just made me sick.
But anyways, we couldn't wait to share this news with everybody.
And, I mean, I just can't wait to see the love and support.
He's the cutest little thing.
He's the cutest.
I'm going to be posting it on Instagram, you are too, right?
Yep, absolutely.
And everybody, please go follow him because we're going to try and get him.
to make brand deals.
And that's all going to go to our kids' college funds.
So help put our kids through school.
And, yeah.
And so with it, I mean, we have some, we have a ton of work to do with the dog because
of the leg will have to go through physical therapy.
And we're going to take him swimming.
And obviously he'll have instilled anxiety because of the abuse he endured.
But he's going to have a hell of a life with us.
Humans hurt him, but not anymore.
Now humans are going to love him more than he's ever been loved in life.
I can't wait.
So if you see us walking around, then come give him a big hug and kiss.
I'm like honestly so emotional.
I've cried too many times, so I'm just going to, you know, I'm just going to hold it together right now.
I'm just going to hold it together.
Anyways, so excited.
Really exciting things coming up.
I think we need to drunk dial one person.
Let's do it.
Should we?
Okay, there's some questions.
So we'll pick which one we want to drunk dial.
What's your favorite kind of playlist to listen to while you're driving or flying?
from Rachel.
I like rap.
On the topic of drinking and dialing,
Amanda Julesen asks,
what is the weirdest drunk food
you've ever made?
Oh, one time I put macaroni and cheese
in a wrap and dipped it in ketchup.
And it was so good.
Macaroni and cheese?
In a wrap.
In a wrap?
Like a burrito mac and cheese.
Yep.
It was, you know, one of my better moves.
That's pretty good.
Alyssa Adams asked,
Biggest Dream podcast interview.
Obviously, Ellen DeGeneres.
Okay, Maddie DeMis asks, okay, I think we're going to call her.
If you could be the daughter to any couple from the Bachelor franchise, who would you pick as parents, M.Y?
That's really good.
Who would you pick?
I'm going to pick Trista and Ryan because their kids seem badass.
They're great.
Hockey players.
They have a good sense of humor.
And they're so sweet.
It's awesome.
Trista and Ryan.
How about you?
Well, I'm going to call her.
Hi.
Hi, is this Maddie?
Yeah, it is.
Hi, it's Caitlin and Jason.
How are you?
Oh, hey.
Hey, Maddie.
Happy Friday.
Happy Friday to you.
Oh, thank you.
Happy Friday, friends.
Thank you.
It's national what?
I did not expect.
I thought you were going to call yesterday.
I did not expect you to call today.
Well, I'm a little behind schedule, and I was traveling all day to Seattle yesterday.
So I was like, you know.
Yep, I'm in Seattle.
Where are you?
Well, right now.
I am in the country.
I'm all out in, like, Kansas.
Oh.
Kansas.
Yeah, I'm from St. Louis, but I, some of my best friends live in Kansas City,
so we went to this little, like, petting zoo farm.
Fine.
I'm just, like, going back out to my friend's property.
Are you from Kansas or just visiting there?
She just said she's from St. Louis.
Oh, I miss that.
Okay, gotcha.
Sorry, he wasn't paying attention.
I'm doing, yeah.
I'm doing a speaking event at Kansas College, University, Kansas University,
Kenzie University, November 2nd.
I'm actually out in the area where, like, Jade and Tanner used to live.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
I know exactly where you are.
Well, that's amazing.
And you had a question for us.
If you were to be the children to any bachelor franchise couple, who would you want to be your parents if why?
So Jason says Trista and Ryan.
Yep, Trista and Ryan.
So when we got to see their kids, I think it was actually on Beck's season.
and they just seemed like such,
or no, Colton's season.
They seem like such cool kids.
They're hockey players.
Trista and Ryan seem like such cool parents.
So, yeah, she's a little dancer.
So I'm going Trista and Ryan, the O'Gs.
And they're good parents.
Yeah, I've witnessed their parenting,
and it's incredible.
And I would pick that, but I don't want to pick the same people as Jason.
So I'm going to go Carly and Evan because Evan is hilarious
and Carly could sing me to sleep every night.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
Who would you pick?
Who would you pick besides us, obviously?
Oh, my gosh.
I feel like, I don't know.
There's so many good choices.
I feel like Sean and Catherine.
Yeah, they would be great.
I don't know.
I feel like Catherine is like so like trendy and fun.
And like she's, you know, they have a lot of personality.
But also I feel like a lot of like.
Good moral.
I feel like a lot of their values.
Yeah.
Or something that like I kind of align with.
Which is like, I don't know.
I just think they have a good balance.
and you're right totally
Texas and you know it's kind of fun down there
and I have family down there and you know so
I mean I think they should adopt you
I think I should too
that's amazing well you're going to have to listen to this podcast
because it comes out in a couple hours
and we make a very big announcement
so not that you wouldn't listen because you're on it
but yeah yeah so we'll we'll look forward to
hearing your what are you on Twitter on you on Twitter
you can tweet us I am on Twitter
all right tweet us
Guys, I'm so excited.
Thank you so much for calling.
I just like, you know, I was like, I don't even remember when I wrote in that question,
but I was just like, oh, whatever.
Like, who knows?
They might not answer me.
But this is kind of, I was like, I got a good question.
That is a good question.
And we picked it because it was good.
And you have such a great time in Kansas.
Enjoy the time out there.
Yeah.
All right.
Thank you.
And yeah, I'm just, yes, going to be a good one.
So thank you guys so much.
All right.
All right.
Sweetie.
Bye.
Okay.
Bye.
Thanks, Katie.
Bye.
Kansas, she's so sweet.
Kansas, having a great time out there.
I love her energy.
She's awesome.
She's great.
Oh, my gosh.
And if anybody listened to the podcast yesterday, I was just so obsessed with Mallory's accent.
She was like, oh, girl, you got a good vibe going.
And I was like, oh, Vab.
I like your vibe.
And the people in Kansas are going to kill me because I said Kansas University,
it's University of Kansas.
The Jayhawks.
The Hills are alive with a.
sound of music as a friend's joke you wouldn't get it uh all right well that was a fun drunk tile
that was she was so sweet she was the sweetest i just want to call her back i actually love that question
yeah it was good who would you want to be the kids of that's a good one's good i will say joe and kendall are
top of my list they're pretty cool i've met kendall i haven't met joe joe's the man that's awesome okay
well thank you love you oh love you too this is gonna be a wild june baby
Oh, Toledo and cheeseballs.
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