Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Drunk Dial: Susan's song

Episode Date: July 19, 2019

Today it's Clio De La Llave taking the reins along with Kaitlyn who is suffering at the hands of Susan (her stomach). Join in with the ladies as they discuss their favorite parts from their trip to Mexico. A lucky Vino gets a second chance to tell her own drunken Mexico story. And of course they make sure to answer all your questions! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. Podcast One presents Off the Vine Drunk Dial.

It's all about dialing digits and making questionable decisions. Let's get it started. Okay, does that work? so before we get into this drunk dial let me ask you a question have you ever thought about the fact that where you choose to live directly impacts the you that you become apartments dot com has the most listings which means you have the most apartments townhomes condos and houses to choose from to unlock your full potential and become the best version of yourself you are in control of your rental future not to mention they have custom search tools so if you're looking for something specific like you commute-friendly, pet-friendly, sit on your couch watch reruns friendly, you're going to find it. And with Apartments.com, what you see is what you rent. So they comb through all their listings to make sure all the information is verified and up-to-date. That way you're not wasting your precious time.

They're making hunting for a new place process a breeze. So send subpar rental search sites packing and visit Apartments.com to find your perfect place. Apartments.com. Change your apartment. Change the world. Hey there, Vino's. If you're listening to this and thinking my voice sounds a bit different today. Well, it's because I've been spending a little too much time with Cleo.

Just joking, it is Cleo. Oh, my God. It's Cleo Caitlin and Caitlin's stomach. Like, at one point in this podcast, just wait. Let's see if we can get it. I think. I seriously think that happened. Like, it's just making constant noises.

So there is three of us here today in bed. let's name my stomach's voice um susy no that's too cute susy like you know how i name my period um mega karen oh and oh and susan is a good one but not susy um what's the monster's name in stranger things that's what it feels like let me look let me google that monster in stranger It has a name. Stranger Things. Well, let me tell you guys, Caitlin is on the struggle bus today. Oh, my gosh.

Definitely the most sick that I've seen you. Yeah, this is the most sick. Let me tell you, I've had two really, really, really big sicknesses in my life. I had hepatitis when I was six, which is, I guess, pretty serious. And I was in the hospital. And I've had mono. Those are like the two. Otherwise, it's just been head colds and stuff.

This felt like back in the day when I had hepatitis. pititis where it was just like uncontrollable amounts of vomit and out both ends and sweating and just not okay but it didn't feel like food poisoning which is the weird thing no actually i don't know what food poisoning feels like i've never had it no i don't think it was food poisoning i think you just got well we just got back from mexico yeah we did have an amazing trip thank god but i think it was some kind of bug that you got there oh dear lord i'm still not okay like you should see us right now You know, I'm trying to stay committed to the drunk dial, but I'm drunk on pepto. Different kind of drunk today.

And I'm just laying here, like, sprawled out. Cleo, I have to give you props. I, you made me feel like, Cleo had a little, like, bug or something in her the other day. And I was like, I'm just terrified of throw up and people being sick. Like, it's my biggest fear. And so when you were sick, I was just, like, sitting with my ears plugged, like, so scared that I was going to catch it. And then there's me puking. your cleo genuinely like rubs my back holds my hair talks me through it she's like okay now breathe

while i'm throwing up like i keep saying the word violently throwing up because that's what it felt like and you just kept being like okay breathe good girl and i'm like oh my god i love you so much i can't believe you remember that i do and you just called this um on-call doctor because i couldn't make it into the hospital and this doctor came and i had a fever and just Just like, oh, I was just a mess. Well, I knew you just needed a peace of mind because you're like, I'm scared. I was so scared. I was like, no, I promise.

Because there's all those scary stories of people coming back from the Dominican and having something and dying. And I'm like, what if I'm just ignoring a serious parasite or like, I don't know, some sort of bug? Well, this morning, it was okay, we're going to podcast at eight. And then I thought you'd slept all day yesterday. So I thought that you'd be for sure up. Like, yeah. And then eight, like, you're sleeping nine, ten. 11 and then I actually started getting worried so I came in the room and I would just put my hand

over your nose and like she's still breathing yeah seriously and uh because I almost thought it was like wait should bring her to the hospital but I still I still think I have a bit of a fever but I don't know I can't tell a little bit yeah ladies and gentlemen she's going to have to fly tonight but I am as long as I don't I think my if my fever goes away I'll fly because don't they say you shouldn't fly with a fever in case you're contagious oh yeah so we'll just keep an eye on that okay so if you're going to ellie from le from l a tonight in the airport don't go up to her and give her a hug yeah you will regret it yes you will that was so terrible that's like that can be a confession from when we were driving back from the airport i got like stuck in customs and they were like

oh you have this Canadian passport do you have a flight back i'm like no i have a work visa and then they like had to put me into a different line and I was like that's when I started feeling like oh I'm going to throw up and I'm a huge baby and I was like oh god what and I kept telling the guy I was like please let me go I'm going to throw up I don't feel good and he was like okay well he saw it in your eyes oh because usually they'd be like oh no this is more of a reason to keep her right and then I went to another guy and he just like checked my passport and let me go and then we got in the we had a car service and I'm just laying in the car service like I wasn't being safe at all I didn't have my seat below and I was like nope it's it's happening and thank god we were at a red light yeah we were pulled over if we what would happen if we were just driving well i think it would have happened in the car oh that would have been awful because that was a lot i just swung open the door and it was like mid like day everybody in like l.a just stopping and staring and cars driving around and i'm just like it was awful like everywhere oh my gosh and all i could think of is I'm like if i'm like if I'm like, hopefully no one recognizes her right now.

I kind of think that would be kind of funny, though, because then they, no, I ain't lying. No, she was sick. I was like, oh, and then you took off your seatbelt and I was like trying to hold you. And I'm like, don't fall out because then this car started driving. That was crazy. It was so disgusting. And it just kept happening. But now.

But now. But now. We're on the up and up. We're on the up and up. Now it's only butt throw up. Yeah. That's great. There's that.

My room is smelling great. Yeah. I'm like, can I license everything in your room right now? But I was thinking that we could maybe even cover Mexico trip pre-sickness. Yeah. We did some crazy shit. It was probably one of the most beautiful places that I've ever been. Yeah, definitely.

And it was. What was it called? So the, well, the resort that we said it was Quicksmala. And it's close to 30,000 acres of just like the most beautiful. I felt like I was in a rainforest. forest. I felt like I was in the Lion King. Yeah. Actually, the Lion King. There was so many animals. Zebras and like, more zebras.

What else was there? I can't remember. Well, there was these. Aligators. Oh, actually, I wanted to look at this. What is the difference between alligator and crocodile? I think just size. There was this one. He must have been like, I would say at least four or five hundred pounds. He was massive. Oh, yeah. I honestly, Cleo, I think he was like a thousand pounds. I'm not even joking. Probably. He was massive. He was insanely huge. And we, That's, you can walk anywhere on the resort. You had to, um, you had to drive everywhere because of these, there's snakes, there's

alligators, crocodiles, zebras, um, what else? What were those little, oh, um, the gophers? No. They were like, um, I forget what they're called. Oh, there's even a Puma on the property. Oh, Puma, yeah, a Puma. Um, but then they said, like, they don't want, um, other Pumas because they don't want them to, like, procreate.

And I don't know if you were there, but they were, they actually had. have videos all over the property that monitor, like, where the Puma is. Oh, well, that's smart because those don't they kill humans? I don't know. One time a girl was, didn't want to look it up. One time a girl finished going to the bathroom and there was just a toad in her toilet, like an actual toad. She was hilarious.

And we, so actually I would say that one of my highlights was, so the reason we went on this trip was we went with Revolve and they organized all these activities, which I love, like, you know, when you go to a trip and like everything's organized. and then it just makes you do things and the last day we went horseback riding and that was insane there's this like we're in the forest and there's this opening and all of a sudden you go in this like

the beach yeah it was just like crashing waves and you're on the back of a horse it was the most peaceful actually that was the one thing on my bucket list to go horseback riding on the beach yeah that was amazing it was on my bucket list too it was incredible I just felt so calm up there and I got some good pictures

and sadly Cleo's forest out of raging boner that we didn't realize and she posted did you delete it? You know what I didn't I didn't know what to do because I like I loved those pictures but now I'm now I can't even look at that picture anymore quite disturbing it's crazy but if you just ignore the boner ignore the host horse boners aren't small either oh my well I wake up the next day because I posted it at night I wake up the next day and Adam my boyfriend had sent me a text

message and he's like I'm sorry I can't like that last picture he called the icky it's icky and i was like what what is he talking about he's like how did you don't see it you didn't see it either no i didn't obviously not not a very good photographer on my part i just didn't have an eye for a horse's boner even though your content on this uh this trip was awesome yeah but isn't that funny that like people just love when i'm like a degenerate like if i did a picture right now yeah just like maybe a little vomit leftover on my lip with my hair hair in a bun, no makeup, in bed with no filter on it, I think

I would get the most likes. Yeah. Because my followers like some real ass shit. They do. But, you know, Revol's a different brand. It's like so aesthetically pleasing and it's gorgeous and it's gorgeous. And they have the most gorgeous clothing and style and just the way they do their social media is so beautiful. If you look at it from like an art perspective. Yeah.

It's so cool what they do. And it was so neat to be a part of it because I've just never really done anything like that. Well, and you are so photogenic it's crazy like those those big I just took those pictures add a little filter and I'm like yeah yeah yeah it's nice to have those pictures yeah yeah it's it's nice once in a while to have them I actually do really and I came on with so many cool clothing and nice memories and I there's a couple that were too too big for Caitlin I'm like I'll take them and I they're amazing yeah I love revolve good style

good style great style and then okay so I'm gonna tell you my favorite because we're talking about alligators my favorite moment of you on the trip oh god what so we get in this car so you from our where we were staying to the main area um it was like about a 10 minute drive 10 15 minutes drive and it was cool because that's where we got to see all of like the animals and um so we get in the car and the driver was like oh my god he's like we just saw the big alligator on land and he's like it's like the biggest one that was a crocodile or crocodile i don't know i think Alligators are smaller. Oh,

Oh, yeah, crocodile. So whichever one the bigger one is. So crocodile. Yeah, let's go crocodile. And so we're there, we're looking for it. And there are so many because we kept seeing them. And then finally we see the big one and we're like, oh my God. It was pretty crazy seeing that thing so close because we're in the car.

And then all of a sudden, Caitlin goes like, oh, I just wish I could get out of this car and go take a picture with the alligator or crocodile. Yeah, you were serious. He seemed like he was slow moving. And then we're like, no, no, no. Don't do it. We weren't really sure if you were serious or not. I'm like, no. You were.

And I was like, you cannot. And then so you're like, oh, damn it. So then the driver looks over and he's like, oh, passing your phone. I'll go take the picture. And at that moment, Beiner goes like, really? And then all of us that are in the car were like, no. I was like, okay. I was like handing him.

My phone everyone else was like, please don't. Yeah. He's like, no. He's like, I'm not going to die for a picture. Then I was like, aren't you with revolve? this is good content it's all about the good content and get and doing something for the gram okay you get out there and you take that picture with a crocodile so funny oh this is the most i've talked in like oh i know okay no it's it's funny because i'm like whoa even just talking it's making me

so weak i think we've said like 20 words to each other in the last day and a half yeah you haven't left upstairs you haven't even seen the place yet no i haven't no that's okay so crazy there'll be more times um okay so one of the things that we thought because when you did your when you went to mexico with jason yeah and you were you guys were doing the drunk dial asking for um people's stories from mexico there was some i know a lot of people didn't pick up and i was like i really wanted to hear that grandma story i wanted to hear a couple other ones so i thought that we could call with that grandma story okay should we try calling again let's see if they'll pick up okay i hate when they don't pick up because every time when you do the drunk down i'm like so excited to hear the story

I know, so I'm like, no. So here's your second chance. There won't be a third, so let's hope they pick up. Hello. Hi, is this Erin? Yes. Oh, my gosh, Erin. How did you just pick up now?

Is this Caitlin Bristow? Yes, this is. I'm about to pass out. You didn't pick up the first time, and so we're like, let's try from a private number. So for some reason, my phone rings with private callers. There's no logo spam callers until I don't pick up. I don't know what is in my phone to where it does that.

So I told my husband last night that we were having drinks and I was like, Caitlin Bristol might call me and I might just pass out. Wait, can you wait until after you tell us your grandma story to pass out? Yeah, tell us the grandma story first and then you can faint all you want. okay so my grandmother took our whole family to a senior trip like a collaborative senior trip in high school I was the first one to graduate so she took my family my aunt uncle and their kids and then her and so originally it was supposed to be me and my cousin in a room she's like five six years younger than me my brother and her brothers were in a room

My grandma was supposed to be in a room by herself, and then our parents each has their own rooms. Somehow, I go out, I don't know, like, how I had so much confidence back then, because it's definitely not there anymore. But I was like, okay, I can go out, like, if international waters, I'm 17, I can have some drinks. I start drinking white Russians. Like, who does that? Oh, my gosh. The Big Lobowski does that. and he's pretty gangster yeah yeah the OG um yeah drinking like russians until i get drunk and

i make a stupid decision with some cute fat boy oh no i'm like okay probably three and probably should go back to my room and i'm walking down the long hallway of this cruise ship obviously completely unstable and I like look ahead and there's my grandma standing outside the room like how did she know I was coming she's in my room and I have to sleep with her

in the bed with my grandmother and then my cousin yeah oh thank God you didn't bring the cute frat boy back that would been even more awkward no that that would have been horrible oh no did you throw up at all

Did you throw up? Oh, no. No. You know, drinking white Russians, it's kind of like easy on the stomach. I guess that's why it's true. I don't know. Wait, what? White Russians just curdle in your stomach ghoul.

I can't even think about that right now. Well, you had a 17-year-old stomach that can handle it. Oh, my God, yeah. That's so funny. Well, grandma, I mean, it's because she cared, right? Yeah, and she, that was like my parents' tactics, like, Okay, if you get in trouble or if you get pregnant, you're going to live with your grandma. Oh, no.

You can imagine, like, how scared I was if I were like... That probably sobered you right up. Yeah, I was like, okay, good night, bye. Bye. What was her name? Georgia. Oh, of course, it was. Good old Georgia.

That's awesome. Well, thank you for sharing your story, and I'm glad you didn't pass out. You're calling me back. I'm glad I got to hear that. I've been wondering about it. it this whole time so thank you yeah 17 year old bad decisions god love georgia okay thanks aaron have a good weekend bye bye bye bye you know what so that actually reminded me of a story and my dad was really strict growing up

yeah and we were in mexico and i don't know if you know like in mexico they have this thing where is it there's the dry law so 48 hours yeah so i think it's about 48 hours before you vote then you like you can't you can't drink so they don't sell alcohol anywhere in Mexico that kind of makes sense yeah and so um anyways we went to club but there they get the bottle service because it was going to close it at midnight so it was like okay I'll just um like just get buzzed and then and then and then just like go on for the rest of the night yeah and then oh it was her last night all of our cousins everyone's like shots shots I've never been so drunk I had to go home it was 4 a.m. because we were getting picked up by the cart five. I had to pack and my grandma

was up my cute little grandma and my dad and I was pretending like I was sober. I would love to go back and see what I was actually like because my dad must have known. But in my mind I was like there's no way he knows and it was awful. Oh my gosh wait I've I just can't picture you um like not obeying your father's rules. Well, I've, I've wanted to bring it up so many times and ask him, but I'm still scared. Really? 33. I'm like, I don't know if I can ask him. But like, they're for sure he should bring him on the podcast. We could tell him then. Oh my God. I wonder what you would say. And it was so funny. Because with the trend of throwing up, I was, we had a layover in LAX. Yeah. And it was hitting me so hard. And I couldn't find a bathroom and I threw up in the terminal. No. Yeah. And he

didn't see it because he was checking in so my sister was like oh my god gosh okay no more throw no Mexico really gets it yeah it really gets you let's do a couple questions um Christina Hagan's asks uh well she said I don't know if this is really question but I just want to know more about what's in the bachelor contract what can you do and what can't you do oh like during before after maybe during during you during there's a lot like you can't um you can't sneak off and find phones or internet because you're not allowed to talk to anybody you're not allowed to watch TV

Can you have books? As the lead you can but not as a contestant You have to stay with a producer You can't go off property That kind of stuff After what's in the contract You have to ask permission

For everything you do Like Jason still has to ask permission To do my podcast Every time he does a podcast with me Because he's still under contract Right there's lots I mean there's there's about 38 pages back to back of things you can't do so there's a few so if you can't have a book you can have tv and like let's say you're towards the end do you get

did you find you got really bored yeah towards the end if you're like in the final four or three you can start you know like you don't have all the girls anymore yeah you're just you're stuck to with like one producer you can watch like I remember watching YouTube videos and like listening to music and thinking it was like the greatest thing I've ever done in my life Like hearing a song, if you don't listen to music for that long and then you hear a song that you love, oh my gosh. It's insane. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Okay.

So Haley, Stefan asks, what is something that's really popular now, but in 10 years we will look back on and be embarrassed by? Snapchat. I don't know, though. I heard that in the future we'll have like Snapchat filters to put in our eyeballs, like contacts. Oh, yeah. That would be so insane. Yeah. I don't know about that.

Maybe not 10 years. Maybe like 100. Yeah. Okay. 10 years look back on. What is a trend right now? 10 years. Those biker shorts.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And those used to be popular like 30 years ago. That's true. No, but like you're right in 10 years and then they'll come back. I don't feel like I have the body type for biker shorts. I feel like you got to be like sexual curves. Or really tall too. Oh, yeah.

It just makes my legs look so short. Yeah. Like, no, no thanks. And then Caitlin Clark asks, if you had to make a law that everyone had to follow, what would your law be? My love. I have a few.

Like one would be if you are a troll and you're trolling somebody online from like TV, you have to go be on that TV. show for a year and then you and then you can see if you still want to troll or it would be like wow I have empathy there be so many people in all these reality reality TV shows that's a good law um just maybe no trolling no trolling okay yeah you know what everyone love each other no trolling do you want one more yeah okay how did you come up with the concept for do what do you mean the concept like how did I come up with just the idea of putting that to life yeah

Um, I think I just wanted to do something I was passionate about. And I don't, I guess hair has always been a bit of an insecurity for me. Um, I could go into why, but I'm not going to. Um, but as I grew older, usually, I don't know, I guess your hair thins out when you get older. Is that a thing? No, no, no. Well, yeah, absolutely does. I think it's like the, it starts to it at the age of 25, I heard. Okay. And so, um, all growing up, it was, I mean, dance competitions. I'm getting my hair pulled. It was all about what your hair look like. Going through school, you know, everybody wanted to do something with their hair. A hair has just always been a big, I don't know. It's silly, but something that has made me insecure because I've always had thin hair. And then I go and try and do all these extensions and anything to make my hair thicker.

And the more time I've, that has gone, I'm like, okay, like, stop with the extensions. It's just pulling out your hair, making it more thin. Like, it's you. You have fine hair. deal with it and what I find is that scrunchies are like a cute um quirky accessory that just like adds a little something something to your outfit I feel like when you put it up in a pony it it does really hold thick hair but it also makes fine hair look thicker in a like bun for sure as like some volume the it totally adds volume yeah and I just like never got off board with the scrunchies so I decided

to make a collection that seemed like quirky and fun and cute and and I've always believed in the power of a scrunchy. Hey, and it doesn't break your hair. It doesn't break your hair. That's another thing. As soon as I stopped using all the extensions, I mean, I'll still clip in extensions once in a while. Yeah.

But you can usually just find me with a scrunchy in because it just doesn't break your hair like elastics. And I just love hair accessories. Yeah. Ooh, hair accessories. Yeah. A little teasey teaser. Well, I love it.

I can't believe you rally through. this podcast. Yeah, well, even if sometimes I'm like, oh, this is going to be a poopy podcast, I still just don't, I like being consistent. Like, I like to make sure I have a podcast out. Yeah. And, you know, some people really look forward to the drunk dial. Oh, yeah. Actually, the drunk dial is my favorite. Is it? I love it. I think it's fun because, I mean, I love doing my interviews, but sometimes people are just like, you know, I just need a little 20 minute giggle. Yeah, totally. And I love hearing, um, just like listening to your, vinoes.

Yeah, I know me too. Every time I have the phone, I'm like, God damn, every single one of them is so cute. I wonder if you'll ever like encounter on the podcast like a mean vino. Can you imagine? They don't, they don't exist. I'm going to tell myself they don't. You guys are a bunch of fucking unicorns.

Yeah. I'm going to go get more drunk on Pepto because I can feel the stomach rumbling. Thank you for listening to today's drunk dial here with Caitlin Bristow and Caitlin Bristow. No? Katelyn, Cleo, and Caitlin's stomach. Yes. Wait, let's try and get it to make a noise.

It's like your stomach knew that we were on. Oh, I wonder if that one will come through. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I will. I'm disgusting. I seriously think I need to go back to bed for an hour before I can see if I can fly. All right. Okay, I love you, Cleo.

Thank you for everything. I love you and you'll be better tomorrow. You said that two days ago. You know, I keep lying to you, but you just listen to me. Bye. This week's drunk dial is sponsored by Apartments.com. Visit Apartments.com to find your perfect place.