Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Elle King | Tattoos, Tunes, and Tales from Rebellion to Radio Royalty
Episode Date: August 6, 2024#760. Join Kaitlyn Bristowe in an engaging and candid conversation with the dynamic Elle King, known for her distinctive voice and genre-blending music. In this episode, Elle opens up about t...he realities of her life, from growing up with a model mother and comedian father, Rob Schneider, to her rebellious teenage years and the impact of her family background on her career. Discover how Elle's early performances shaped her music journey, the story behind her Grammy-nominated hit "Ex's & Oh's," and the challenges she faced in the industry. Elle shares her thoughts on beauty, confidence, and breaking cycles, while also revealing a touching and unforgettable story involving a bird and a sign from the universe. Tune in for a heartfelt and humorous conversation that showcases Elle King's resilience, humor, and undeniable talent. If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (5:52) - Elle talks about her rebellious school years, including getting kicked out of every school she attended. (11:01) - Elle discusses her record-breaking achievements as the first woman to have number one singles in four different radio formats and the impact of her hit song "Ex's & Oh's." (28:00) - An unforgettable story involving Elle hitting a bird, taking it home, and reflecting on signs from the universe. Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets when you use promo code Vine15 at BollAndBranch.com.Dime Beauty: Love your skin again! Go to See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hi. Hi. I'm so excited to see. Do you remember the first time we met? Yeah. It was at the
TV. It was TV, right? And it was right after the Bachelorette. Yes. Kelly and Michael
Strayhan. Okay. Yeah. And I remember being like, oh my God, I love her. And then you came in and you're like,
oh, my God, I love you. And I was like, what? What? And it was one of my first interactions like after the
show where people were like, oh my God, I know who you are. And I was like, but I know who you are.
Oh. And it was so bizarre. Oh, sick. I know. Because I watched, I mean, I watched both seasons.
Yeah. Yeah. It was wild. Yeah. It was wild. I still look back at it and feel like it was.
nine years ago, but also feels like two years ago
because I'm still so involved in the franchise
that I just like, like I still see the same
faces when I, for example, at
CMA Fest this week, I'm going
to be interviewing a couple of people
at the Bachelor Activation Tent.
And it is still the same rotation of
producers. And so when I keep seeing
them, I keep being like, do I
hate you still or like have I
healed? I'm not sure. Okay, because I feel like
all this stuff about reality is kind of coming out.
Not that I'm obsessed with reality
and everything behind the scenes.
I know.
But I feel like a lot of stuff is coming out where it's like unhealthy.
Well, all of it is.
I mean, what industry is healthy?
I've yet to see one.
I mean, corporate America, music.
Yeah, working sucks, I think.
Yeah, I think working is just unhealthy.
Yeah.
I think at the end of the day, if anyone takes anything away from this podcast, it's just don't do anything.
Yeah.
Just like lay there like that.
Just sounds like you can watch and take in the shitty things that other people are going through.
Yeah.
But just don't do it.
Sounds nice.
I feel like we're already getting in trouble for this.
I get in trouble for everything all the time
But it's kind of like
I feel like when you have tattoos and piercings
People kind of expect it from you know
Yeah it's like no surprise there
Yeah it's I feel like people are just used to it with me
They're like there goes Caitlin again
You just got to commit to the bit you know
Yeah I'm so excited you're here
You have such an interesting life career
Don't look at me like you don't know that
It's crazy you just come from such a interesting family background
And I know you don't want
to ever be a nepo baby is that is that what it's called i i think so yeah nepo or nepo baby
nepo i think it's nepo okay where people say you just like come into the fame and you don't
work hard for it because you work really hard i do work really hard yeah and it's interesting that
like we're starting talking about how we met yeah almost 10 years ago and it's kind of been this
like i've been having a lot of these thoughts and conversations recently about like
oh my gosh wow exes was like almost 10 years ago yeah so it's been a decade yeah and i'm looking
at myself on the mirror it's like oh my gosh what's happening to me um but yeah i don't know i i don't think
i ever really got scooted into the nepa baby thing yeah i don't think you did either i just know
that that's like a thing that a lot of people who work really hard for don't want me but i wonder
like i used to get really annoyed talking about the bachelor which is so dumb because that's where
I came from. That's how people knew me, but I'd be like, but I don't want to. But now I look back
and I go, oh, of course we talk about that. Is that something like I, of course, want to know how
it was growing up with a model as a mom and Rob Schneider as your dad? Like, did that shape your
career or who, obviously who you are, but the direction you went in life? I mean, I think when it
comes to my dad, it was more of like a deterrent. And so I don't know. We weren't like super
close um when i was like starting outperforming when i got signed yeah we really weren't even speaking
and i had been already going i mean i was a lot closer with my mom's family yeah in ohio and
so i just have always gone by my mom's last name i don't know anyone who's ever met it's easy
to judge anyone if you just like google me the first thing that pops up is like oh yeah you know
who my my dad is and that i was born in california and nobody knows it's
I really grew up in Ohio and didn't even move to New York until I was a teenager.
So I feel like it's just so unfair.
And yeah, of course, there can be any situation in the world and be like, okay, it's so
much easier to just look surface level and not think that there could be any layers to
anything ever.
But, yeah, I mean, clearly you got your, he's got pipes.
You've got, no, my dad can sing, right?
Yeah, he does, he does like the best Elvis I've ever heard.
It's pretty wild.
Yeah.
He'll be for Adam Sandler, my producer went.
He's Filipino.
And Filipino people are very, very gifted in the singing realm.
Yes.
And I definitely got some of my charisma from my dad, but I got my funny from my mom.
Really?
Yeah, my mom is the funniest person that I've ever met.
And we're just, we're easy laughers.
And yeah, I wish I would have gotten some of her height, but that's okay.
Yeah, because she is a big time model.
Yeah, she's beautiful still to this day.
and she's very tall, and I love her.
She's amazing.
But, like, my mom was the one, you know,
carrying my guitar and sneaking me into bars
and, you know, letting me stay out with my friends
and taking the guitar home for me.
And, like, yeah, my mom was always just, like,
telling me to take lessons,
and she would drive me everywhere,
and she took care of me
and always made sure that I had some form of, like,
like a creative outlet.
That's cool, because it sounds like she still was apparent
and also let you be you.
Yeah, well, I mean, my mom, I feel like nobody really...
People tried to tell me what to do, but I definitely was not like a studious person.
Yeah, because I heard you got kicked out of a few schools.
Yeah, I got kicked out of almost every school that I went to.
For what?
They labeled me as a bad kid.
I don't think that my academic needs or even a lot of like emotional needs were being met.
And I was a highly sensitive.
being and I just had a lot of feelings and then I think you know talking about who my parents are
like I had very polarizing like lives and my dad you know back in like the early 2000s even in
my like very young childhood my dad was on Saturday Night Live and seeing that and being on really
big movie sets and then like you know a few times a year if that and then going home to
you know like rural ohio yeah that's there's a big difference there what did you prefer it's hard because
i like wanted and yearned for like my dad but it was also difficult to be a little girl and have
someone who is like such a you know he was a really hardworking actor and that was like
before you could get in trouble for like everything anything that you do breathing and um so i definitely
I'm trying to like sew up everything very kindly right now.
I definitely saw a lot of things in the entertainment industry,
all of which can be a lesson, you know?
Yeah, of course.
So I saw things that taught me how not to be certain things
that I wish I would have paid more attention to
and things that I can understand why now in the society are no-nows, you know?
And I think that there are certain things.
Wow, we are just.
like going straight there. I love. I love. And I'm like very, um, you're very, um, you're very
captivating. So please keep going. Oh, cativating. Okay. Cool. I rarely get that. Usually it's like,
you're a bitch. What? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And like, I'm like,
mesmerized. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sick. No, yeah. Get into it. I love this. But I do remember
thinking, um, because when I first started like my love for performing, because I grew up very
awkward looking and both of my parents were very active.
a lot of their, like, job was based on the way that they looked.
And so I was, like, chubby, awkward, weird.
I was a bad kid.
I started getting tattoos at, like, 13 or 14 years old.
Yeah, I mean, also cool.
I was cool.
Really cool.
And so I was, I got into, like, performing arts and, like, theater.
And I loved being on stage.
And that's when I really started songwriting around 14 years old.
Which is so crazy.
14 years old
Because you could really go one of two ways there
The fact that you went theater and singer-songwriter
And not like down the other route
Like I feel like some people go
Like into hard drugs and alcohol
And I'm not saying you didn't
But just like
No yeah no I did I did
Oh you did yeah yeah yeah
So how did you maintain both of like
Songwriting and or is that just like part of being an artist
No I mean I feel like I've just
How do I phrase this
I grew up
I was I felt like I had to be a
a grown up really early on and then you know when we we moved to New York City like you're an
adult at 13 years old oh yeah you know you take the bus you take the subway I mean everyone that like
I kind of knew in New York they like I feel like celebrities kids kind of find each other yeah
and there's this weird common thing like are you hurting to it's like bachelor people dating bachelor
people and hanging out bachelor people you do have common ground of yeah but it's it's this weird
It could be trauma bond.
It could be like going through the same thing.
It could be like nobody else.
It's also your circles.
Well, and you don't, some people can't understand what else you've been through and it's
nice to have people.
But I think the unfair side, I think it was Dakota Johnson.
Yeah.
Who said it.
I don't know if that's the, I'm pretty sure it was this.
She said like, it's not a shocker that performers children who grow up around performing
and God forbid it is passed down to you.
Like, it's not like surprising.
Look at all the families of, like, doctors or lawyers and, like, their children grow up and they want to emulate what their parents are.
Yeah.
But I just think it's interesting.
And I also feel like if someone can find one thing, unfortunately, to take away from any hard work that someone has done, then they'll do it.
Yeah.
Just to discredit.
And I don't know.
It's weird.
I also don't want to put any energy or emphasis.
I don't really talk about this that much.
but like I don't ever want to put energy or emphasis into that negativity.
I don't want to fuel that.
But also like I would love to see somebody kind of like come at me and say that like I can't, you know, sing loud, that I don't write my own songs, that I haven't put in a ton of time and work into working very hard.
I mean, I'm the only, I'm the first woman who has had number ones in four different radio formats.
And like, I don't need to go down a checklist.
But, like, also, come on.
Go down the checklist.
It's bad ass because it's, I always say proof is in the pudding.
You've put in the work.
I love pudding.
I love proof.
Yes, I love a receipt.
But, like, the fact that you were starting at 14 years old and then you had a residency in Brooklyn
at 16 years old, like singing nightly, like every night?
It was, I think it was Thursday nights.
Not a Saturday.
They weren't going to give an underage girl.
a Saturday, but it might have turned into that.
But 16 years old, getting some sort of residency as a singer.
When you were in Ohio, like, two very different lives when you're in California and Ohio.
Did you know, though, that you wanted to be a somebody?
No.
I really, I don't think so.
I probably, I don't even know if I can remember what I wanted to be because it's just been so.
I don't know.
And since I became a mom, like, it's like noodles.
Oh, I'm going to be a mess.
I already have mashed potato brain all the time.
Yeah, great.
All the time.
Good luck to you.
Yeah, I will need it.
I don't think I wanted to.
I mean, I saw, like, a lot of things that were kind of taken from a lot of people that were
around my dad, and I saw the people that really would just come very close to him for terrible
reasons, and I'm like, I'm very empathic, and I'm a watcher, and I just would take it in.
Yeah, I would take it in, and I was, I never felt like I was able to.
able to like express myself, which is why I found music.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
But like I don't think I know that I never ever wanted to be like a famous person and I
never set out to write music for some, I never thought it was going to be a job, you know?
It was just the only way that I could like get your feelings out.
Yeah, get my feelings out because I never really had any outlet until I started writing
songs when I was, you know. Did you know, like at a young age that you were gifted, or was it
when you started writing down your feelings and singing that you were like, wait, I've got
something here? Like then, like, what was the move to New York? Was it to sing? No, my mom married my
stepdad and my stepdad's from New York. Got it. He was the lead singer in a badass rock and roll band
called Bob City in Columbus, Ohio. And they met and fell in love. And we moved to New York so that he could,
well, both my parents were working
and we went with them
and I went to like a
fancy private school and got kicked out like a year
later and it was just all downhill from there
but it was great
and he paid his best friend
and bandmate to teach me guitar
and that's when I like started playing guitar
and writing songs and I don't know
I remember the first open mic
that I went and played
and everybody did one song
and I got up and played, I don't know, probably like an Otis Redding song or something.
And I was like, do another one.
And I pulled a piece of paper out because I had written a song that day.
And I was like, all right, well, I could play this song I wrote today.
And everyone was like, great.
And I just remember that feeling of like everyone clapping and saying that it was good.
And I was like, great.
This is nice.
They like me.
And I just kept doing it after that.
Wow.
That's a good.
I mean, I just, I love the trajectory of.
your life because you I mean I just can't imagine that I had such a like humble childhood
and I'm always fascinated by people of just like like you've lived and seen some shit and got
through it and like you're still here making music that people relate to like I hope so no you are
I was blaring oh drunk and I don't want to go home like like that song will never get old to me a lot
of your music like hits yeah like it doesn't get old I could listen to it yeah no it's it's it's I
I freaking love it.
I feel like, was it X's and O's that really was your banger that hit it off for you,
got two Grammy nominations.
Yeah.
Were you like, holy shit?
That's a big deal.
Oh my gosh.
I mean, it's funny to think about that song because I never thought that that was going to be the single.
And it totally changed my life.
Yeah.
So it's just weird.
And the fact that like I got two Grammy nominations, my first album, my first like real single that I ever put out,
like it's badass it's so badass and I love that you can hype yourself up too because you have to
you have sometimes you're not going to have somebody around to do it for you well especially most times
you won't I find just from talking to people or knowing people interviewing people in the music world
how like it's always been so male dominated and sexist and like I feel like you probably
have experienced so much where they're like you don't fit the mold right yeah and then
being a thick bitch on top of that it's like
oh my and they're mad at you because
they're like why am I like weirdly
into this too you know and like
take it out on you it's like you can want
to me and not have to. You also don't have to explain it to
anybody I know my light shines
bright. It's weird
I know people don't like bright lights if they
no they don't especially if there's
isn't able to ever come out and it's yeah it's very
intimidating especially to men who
only use their power for feeling powerful
you know yeah yeah i mean i will say part of me is kind of glad that like i didn't come out like
you know yeah looking like this yeah yeah first of all like this takes a lot of work okay this is not
just like happening um but i oh i had to be funny yeah because i i didn't think that i was pretty
and i i really i wasn't to my own standards yeah you know and my mom is like so beautiful and i i've
always just compared myself to my mother, which is hard because she's tried to instill,
you know, you have to find beauty within and blah, blah, blah.
But, like, you can have that hammer down your throat as much as you want, but you have
to do certain things to actually believe it.
And it's taken me, like, this long and, like, actually going through healing processes
of traumas and pain that I've gone through and letting go and healing, like, childhood wounds,
all that stuff, to, like, literally shed things, cutting off my hair.
I was like, that's spiritual in a way, you know?
Yes.
And like I feel like I'm coming into my own.
And I truly believe that when, like, I've never found myself as more beautiful than after I, like, worked hard to, like, lose my baby weight and healing coming out of postpartum depression and not even knowing that I was in it until I started, like, going back to therapy and reflecting on it.
And that's when I started to, like, see myself as beautiful because ultimately to touch back on, like, did you think you're ever going to be famous?
Like, no, the only thing I ever really wanted to be was a mom.
And I think it's because my, like, family structure was different and, you know, not super normal.
And you're the type of person that will break a cycle.
You want to break the cycle.
I heard that.
So a psychic was like your, like, less in this lifetime is like you're the breaking the cycle.
I was like, does it have to?
Because it's hard.
But I love that you talk about like the healing journey and postpartum and therapy and all of that because I've done so much of that.
And I always say like it doesn't matter if you had a humble childhood and your parents were together and everyone can heal from childhood beliefs and certain big T traumas and small T traumas that they've been through.
Whoa, someone's been in therapy.
A lot of it.
We were just talking about this before you came actually about how I went to Hoffman, which is like a
Oh my gosh. Yes, it's the best thing that you did. I'm too afraid to like even like look at the website, but I hear it's absolutely like life changing. It changed my whole life. Maybe I'm just not ready for it. I didn't know I wasn't ready for. I was like, whoa. But it was the best thing I've ever done for myself. But I understand where you're coming from with the healing of loving yourself and feeling more beautiful because I mean, your mom was right. The beauty is inside and it shines on the outside when you feel it in there. It just I have a sign in my mirror, not anymore.
because I moved. But it says like work on the inside and the outside will fall into place.
It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside because you will just radiate light when you
are like on your healing journey. And I always make sure that people know it's not like you heal
and then you arrive at the destiny. You're like, I'm healed now. Yeah. I'm in a process right now.
It's like, oh my gosh, I'm like very uncomfortable. Feeling very raw. Oh, that is the time for Hoffman.
Really? Okay. Great. I mean, honestly, I'm also at the place where I'm trying to be way
less stubborn, not like, I can do it myself. I'm at this point my life where I'm ready to just
say, help me, tell me what to do, and I'll try it. I'll try it twice. Like, if I fail, I'll try it
again. Do you think that came from being a mom? Like, when did you, was this two years ago that
your son was born? My son is, he turns three at the end of summer. So September 1st is his
birthday and he'll be three years old. I think that the last year of my life has just,
been a lot and like becoming a mom and then my family dynamic changing and trying to just be
the best person that I can and still fucking up royally.
Oh yeah.
Like not even on the grand scale that like people know about it.
I all the time and I'm still human but at the same time I have never been as present right now
and so not to say that like I'm grateful for things that have happened in my life but at the same
time I'm ready to shed.
I'm ready to let go of it.
I don't want to carry this shit for the rest of my life.
So I'm feeling so I can be healing and I don't.
Can I please babysit your son while you go to Hoffman?
Yeah, sure.
You are so ready.
Really?
You don't even think you are.
Okay.
Everything you just said, I'm like, you will thrive there and you will come out of that
and you will just continue to just evolve as a human being.
Is it like, how long is it?
it's six days and the first two days you're like uh oh what am i doing and then day three you're
like i don't ever want to leave this place and on day four you're just like like i don't even know it's shedding
big time shedding great and then day five you're like i don't want it to be over and it goes by
really fat the first two days not so much okay and but one of my favorite things about Hoffman now
is that i get letters from people that have went now because i talk about it all the time
they should sponsor you i know i'm like can i come back and do it again
do people do that more than once you can't there's like other programs you can do after it's like a graduate program and like all the all the stuff but it's it's a and it's a safe space too like I had I had some pretty big profile names in my group and you're all just in it together and nobody's judging anyone and we all realize that we're just human beings trying to be our best at the end of the day who've been through different shit in our lives and I just everything you're saying I'm like I'm not going to push you because they tell you to not just
police people to Hoffman.
No, but I mean, it's definitely stuck with me
because anyone that I've heard
would be like, you should go.
Yeah. I'm not going to say anything.
Now I get it. Okay.
If you're not saying you need this,
but like, bitch, you should go.
Everyone needs it.
Everyone needs it.
It's just I love that you see
the benefits of the journey.
Well, I'm deeper into my actual
like, hopefully like metamorphosis
of this life.
lifetime this go around.
Yeah.
Like the Band-Aids ripped off.
Yeah.
I'm not healed yet.
I'm just like opening.
Yeah, but that's so gross.
But like,
you get it, right?
That's a great place to be.
May I ask how old you are?
Yes, I'm just kidding.
I'm 34.
I don't have a comment on like that.
I'm 34.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I'm so excited for you.
Oh, okay.
Okay, so I'm 38.
Okay.
And I'm literally just like, I'm, I feel like I'm in, like, even though I did Hoffman,
I've done all this therapy and I'm still like,
figuring out so much shit. But the way I handle things now or the way I think to myself,
the way I talk to myself, the way, everything, like even, I'm actually in quite a dark space
right now. It's, but I know, yeah, but see, but you know that it's okay and that you're like,
yeah, I've done this before and I'll do it again probably. Yeah. And every single year of my
30s, I've just gotten more wise, to be honest. And like, owning my truth, figuring out who I am.
And every year something bigger and greater happens for me that aligns with my whole purpose.
Beautiful.
I always say you have to make room in your life for greatness.
Yes.
And sometimes, well, I'm learning now, making room in your life can be very, very painful.
Yes.
Because I've had this, like, gigantic, massive hole that I have filled with love, with food, with drugs and alcohol, with more relationships.
And for the first time ever, I'm not going around like this.
trying to just like scoop things in.
I'm kind of like, this.
And seeing like, how do I feel?
And then like, you know, I don't know how many therapists I have on speed dial.
Like just sit in it, see what emotions come up.
Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Sounds like anger.
Okay, right.
She's mad about something.
Yeah.
But now I cry and like I, oh, this is really, this is dark.
I was going through some heartbreak that I had just,
And when it started to kind of creep up, I hit a bird on the way home of a good day.
Oh.
And like I'm very into like spiritual signs and everything.
And like this is like very, I don't know, people are probably going to make fun of me for doing this.
But I pulled over and I went and I got, I picked up the bird and I drive a classic truck.
And so I know that it was like, and I went and I picked up the bird.
and I had like really happy like soul music playing like ugum-bogum by Brett and this yes like the
I was having the nicest day it was the day I cut my hair of course it was holy shit of course it was
and I pick up the bird and this girl comes running out of her house and goes what happened
and I said I hit a bird and she was like what are you going to do with it I said I don't know what
to do with it in this point I'm crying and she was like why don't you put it
it in the grass. I said, I can't. I'm going to take it home. And she said, I'm sorry for your loss
and went back in her house and shut the door. And I took it, I took it in the truck.
Oh my God. Drove home crying like this. I posted a picture of it. Yeah. I look at it. I think I took a
selfie with it. It's so dark. This is so grim. Took it home, went and I put it in a plant. And I said,
Maybe it's just stunned.
Two days later, I walk out, and the situation of my feelings about whatever I was going through,
like, hadn't been getting any better.
And I was like, bitch, if this is not a sign from the universe, like, that chapter is closed.
Like, bury the bird.
So on a rainy day, I cried all day, went to Home Depot, got a butterfly bush.
She's like, Google, like, what's the spiritual meaning of a butterfly bush?
It's like, new beginnings.
I'm like, okay, I get it.
Buried the bird in the yard, played the saddest music, cried loudly in my front yard.
That might be my favorite story anyone's ever told on this podcast, and I've been doing this for seven years.
Holy shit, that is a literal sign from the universe.
Yeah.
Like, did you name it?
No.
Okay.
We can.
We can.
I feel like it's boogam.
Boogham!
Oh, boogum!
Yeah.
I'm going to call that bush the boogum bush.
There you go.
That's great.
Oh, my God.
That is amazing.
You also said something that triggered my brain when you said in my situation, and then I went,
I just interviewed the situation from Jersey Shore.
How's he doing?
He's great.
Nine years sober.
Wow.
And he said the comeback is always greater than the setback.
So when you fuck up, when something bad happens, when you.
bury things, emotions or birds, whatever you are doing, the comeback from that is always greater
than the setback.
After everything that happened in January, I went to like a different type of like therapeutic
program because I was very sad and nobody really knows what I was what I was going through
behind closed doors. And I just took that as like, A, if it wasn't this, it's going to be something
else. And be, I had to heal and deal and go through things. And someone said to me,
I think you might find a silver lining or something good that comes out of your experience
with that. And I'm like, I haven't found it yet, mother. But I'm, I feel like I'm a different
person. I'm so like incredibly anxious constantly. But I was before. So at least I'm like
a little bit more conscientious of it. And like the clearing. Yeah, I'm consistent. Yeah, I'm consistent.
The clearing of my life is like
Talking about like making rooms
You didn't taste me like keep your chin up bitch
Like you're cut you know
Well I okay so if people don't know
You swore on the grand old opera stage
I mean you had some cocktails you swore
Yeah yes yeah so but but in in real life
That might not that might be like so part of like a show
But at the opera is it like sacred there or something
Like why we're not supposed to do that if you're a woman
I mean, you're not supposed to do that at all.
Okay.
I'm just kidding.
Well, see, I was, I kind of, like, I love that you, it cleared some space for you.
You got a new kind of therapy out of it.
You got to, you, I heard that you like hand wrote apologies to people.
You learned a lot from it.
You feel bad.
But on the other side, I was like, but why?
Because part of me wants to be like, no, that's who you are.
But on the other hand, if it did some really incredible things for your healing journey,
then I'm glad that it happened, you know?
I mean, honestly, I find more silver linings in it than not.
Good.
And ultimately, like, I couldn't go on living my life or even staying in the situation that I had been going through.
And, like, I couldn't continue to be existing in that high level of pain that I was going through at the time.
And so, like, I don't know.
I feel like, Dolly Parton, you know, she just delivered me this, like, opportunity.
for growth and like she loves butterflies doesn't she so like talk about metamorphosis and I don't know I get this a lot it's like well what's a big deal and for me like if I if I just reacted or if I just like spoke about it then it wouldn't have been from a place of like I'm not healed but like I am I waited to talk about everything until I had better footing yeah because I was not okay yeah and I'm still not okay like I'm
a psychopath but I yeah you know you get it but like I also am coming out and as like a new
person yeah and you know I'm still very much me if anything I'm much more me now than I even have
been in the last 20 years that's why I'm excited for you and then to go to hoffman dot com I am sponsored
by them just kidding that's why I'm excited because it's like if look at the growth you've
done over a certain amount of years just from like January 20 I'm just kidding no but for real
how you know and just think of where you'll be five years and even just like how you'll show up
for your son just because you are open to getting yes no you are I mean if anything you know
and you're teaching him to be human I want him to be human because right now he does this cat thing
and it's like super it's like really it freaks people out in airports and stuff but uh I like I do I don't
want my son to grow up. And I, you know, again, I'm like the NEPA stuff. Like, I am a singer and I'm
raising a son and, you know, God forbid, he wants to be a performer. But obviously, like, I want
to nurture anything. He's very funny. He's obviously, like, super drawn to music. And I don't
care what he wants to do. And I'll just tell him, be the best that you can be and always try
your artist. And I'm sure that he'll be mortified at things I do just like I feel about,
my family and I don't know I want to be a good mom over anything over everything
well you can tell because you you can just tell that you're passionate about your like
doing things that you are getting rid of things you've done in the past to numb yourself
or get through it you're actually sitting in it now and that alone is making you be a better mom
this is like therapy I'm sorry no no no no good but in like a hype you up kind of way
I'm just going to start calling you for my hype up
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I also want to talk about your new song.
Yeah, Baby Daddy's Weekend.
Weekend.
Co-parenting.
Woo!
I co-parent dogs and I can't imagine doing it with a little human.
I'll send you my parenting plan.
But it's a very fun, catchy song.
Thank you.
Again, I'm sure that was a heartbreak that you turned into something.
Tell me, you tell me, the story behind it.
I think that when it comes to this song for like Baby Daddy's Weekend,
I don't know if there's enough celebration of modern families and the differences of that.
And my son's father is wonderful.
He's great.
And he's one of the funniest, nicest people ever.
And we both grew up once we had our kid.
And we're still actively trying to do it.
And I think that this, you know, when he hands off the kid, I'm like, hey, I hope you
have fun this weekend.
And, hey, you know who deserves it?
You.
And he'll tell me the same thing.
Like, good luck, have fun.
You know, hey, let me know how it goes.
Yeah, not me.
You want you guys to get back together?
What'd you say?
I want you guys to get back together.
Excuse me, I got to go.
No, he's like, I'd rather, oh.
I'm holding out hope.
I am too.
Wait, that sounds like a really healthy thing.
I mean, I'm sure we're both just faking it.
but hey we definitely i mean in a way that's healthy too yeah i mean look at my confidence you think
this is real no you should make up like a tick talk dance to your song and have it go viral in that
yeah i'm a terrible dancer but like if you come up with like some ideas i'll send it to you
okay i just love i love the idea of making a ticot dance go viral and so i'm like we should
use your song should we like hire a dancer someone to do that me okay great amazing
i want to do it in front of the bush i can do it
We'll do it in front of the bush.
We'll let butterflies be released.
Yes.
Oh my God.
It'll be a whole thing.
I like that.
Hopefully it'll rain and we'll just cry and dance in the rain with butterflies.
If not, my son is like obsessed with the hose.
We'll get some of those butterfly boxes where like they're released or something.
Everyone's going to look at this on TikTok and be like, that is too much effort for this to go viral.
But they will watch it.
They'll watch it.
They'll watch it.
Okay.
Yes.
Oh my God.
I hope somebody watches a nice video of me as opposed to.
It'll be this.
Great.
Oh my gosh, when we put on clips from for this podcast.
People, my community, I like to think, are so supportive.
Like, everyone is so kind and so supportive.
And I feel like they have totally been with me through, oh my God, two failed engagements, failed.
I have an opportunity for the real love.
Right.
Just ups and downs.
Lessons.
If you will.
And always been so loyal and, like, supportive.
So I feel like.
Yeah, but you put that out there.
I mean, I remember.
remember before. I, like, barged into your dressing room. I'm obsessed with you that morning because
I was watching and you're so engaging and I watched your whole journey. And now it's so cool
that, like, you know, we're here like after. I love a full circle moment. Yeah. You know, and 10
in the kind of spiritual realm is like, it's not the end, but you're reaching this point of
starting over again at one. And ultimately one plus zero, I'm about to like really get into like
is actually just a one.
So it's a new beginning.
And so it's really interesting.
Oh my gosh.
Are we going to cry?
Oh, my gosh.
No, she's got a photo shoot.
It's cool.
So it's nice to like even look back on like whether it's the beginning of this year or like just like one big hug of the last 10 years.
I'm like, wow, that brought me here.
Right.
And I'm, I think I'm ready to take a step into the next chapter.
This is so fascinating to me, and then I will wrap this up because I could talk to you all day, but that's so fascinating because something came over me the other day in the sauna, and I started doing a Instagram reel about the butterfly effect of the last 10 years for me, and I do truly feel like I'm in this phase where I'm like ready for something that's like motherhood or like something like really different. I'm craving. And I'm like, oh my gosh, all these, this butterfly effect.
to now, and that makes
so much sense that it's coming up on 10 years.
It's beautiful.
Holy shit balls.
But that's wonderful.
I hope I hit a bird on the way home.
You know?
Oh my gosh.
Please don't hit birds.
Please don't hit birds.
I'll fine now.
But I hope I just tap them, like a love tap and be like, oh, there's a little sign.
And then it flies away.
That can also 100% happen.
I do save a lot of birds.
I put them in a box in the garage and then they wake up on their own time.
That's why I, this one was just, I don't know.
I don't.
I'm pescatarian.
I don't like eat animals, but mostly because I just fly into my windows and I can't bear to do it.
You and I are very different in that way.
Okay.
Oh, not the, I love animals.
Carnivorous?
No, no.
I actually was vegan for a while just because of my love for animals.
Yeah.
But I have an absolute fear of birds.
And I feel like it's a hatred, but it's more because I'm scared.
I got attacked by a parrot when I was little, so I used to think that I'm, you know what?
That's attack by a parrot?
Well, I love animals.
So I must have just, like, moved this, like, neighbor lady who had a big parrot.
I wanted that parrot on my arm.
And I was definitely like the Elvira, like a, you know, my son has that in him, like,
he'll pop a kitten's head.
Yeah, because you think it's so cute.
Yeah, it's just so cute, I'm going to love you.
I do that to my dogs.
And the parrot just, like, bit me and was, like, slapping me in the face with his wings.
Oh, that is, I will have nightmares about that.
My whole body just started sweating, thinking about flapping in the face.
Yeah.
Oh, my.
A friend in high school was afraid of birds, and she moved into a place and the bedroom that her mom made her move into, all the wallpaper was birds.
No.
I was like, I don't know.
That's a no for me, dog.
You need to look at some tea.
Nope, nope, not for me.
Oh my gosh, I could take up all of your time.
Thank you so much for taking the time for me today.
This was a lovely conversation.
Yeah, thank you for helping me laugh about things.
I feel like there's these little markers and we should just heal.
Well, Gemini Cancer cancers.
Listen.
We'll bond over a hybiscis tea.
Oh, cute.
But not birds.
Not birds, not birds.
I'm Caitlin Bristow.
I'll see you next Tuesday.
See your next Tuesday.
