Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Emily Cassel

Episode Date: February 11, 2020

Kaitlyn is joined today by soulful business and leadership coach Emily Cassel! Emily and Kaitlyn discuss the power that women hold and how Emily realized that she wanted to help women discover and feel that power through coaching. She explains how the female body is on a similar cycle to the moon and how we can use the changing of the seasons to understand the shifting of our own moods! The two then wrap up by answering listener questions. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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here's katelyn today i'm sitting down with a soulful business and leadership coach for women entrepreneurs and an overall champion of women everywhere she helps women find their deepest soul calling and become a leader in life and in business and she started her very own business at just 22 years old. I want, get a girl. Training with top coaches in the industry and has been able to support hundreds of women entrepreneurs throughout her career so far. She is also the host of her podcast.

We'll have to get you on. I got excited because I was like, you have a podcast. Sexy, soulful success that shares inspiring conversations with powerful women to help you feel your best and take your life to the next level. Please welcome to the podcast. Emily, do you know, tell me how you say your last name. Castle. I should have done it.

I was going to nail it. But I was like, what if it's going to sell? Listen to this. It sounds like talking with someone might help. It's literally telling me. Emotional support. Would you like me to call them for you? Literally just came up and said the national suicide.

I don't know what just happened. Oh, my God. While I was saying that, my Siri picked it up and said, like, do you need help? It sounds like you need to have. So I'm like, wait, what was my introduction for you? What did I just say? my gosh um so okay we're having rosé for breakfast i don't know if you've ate breakfast this morning i did oh okay damn it i didn't um but i'm all i am not above rosay for breakfast so what we have

here is possibly a new rosay for spade and sparrows and you were the first to try it i am incredibly honored but i really really really really want your honest opinion because first of all i haven't i've tried it when i was in sonoma but i haven't like opened the bottle and tried it right now So if you look at the color, it's a little dark for my liking. Yeah, you like a lighter. I like a little bit lighter. A little more blush. But, okay, so try it and let me know what you think.

Okay. And again, how do I drink without giving you misophonia issues? Oh my God, you get me. You get me. You just turn away from the mic and take a sip. Yeah, and tell me if you like, because sometimes people like sweet, sometimes people like, I, okay, so I tend to prefer not a sweet. wine like i like it drier especially with a rosé because i feel like you can get real like too

sweet yeah um i love this this is really balanced actually yeah i think so too perfectly balanced i wanted to keep it very similar to my last rosé because i don't i think wine should be consistent but um i just wanted it to be a little bit better so love it yeah i'm not mad at this no it's perfect i love it perfect it's the perfect rosea okay i'm so glad and you wouldn't you wouldn't lie to me No, I would not. Okay, because I am all for the feedback. And the fact that we're drinking it at, like, noon, I feel like is a good sign of a good rosé. That's true.

Because you want to, like, rosé all day. You're right. That's what rosé is for. It's for the day drinkers. Yes. And you know what? It's not too cold out today. So I feel like this is all acceptable.

It's so perfect, yes. I'll find any excuse in the world to have a glass wine. I'm like, well, I am eating macaroni. So, um, pasta. I should probably have a glass of red wine with my macaroni. geez. Yes. Okay. So I introduce you as a soulful business and leadership coach. So what does that mean to you? Like, how does the word soulful impact what people usually think of that job and description of being a coach? Yeah. So I think typically what people think of when they think about a

business coach is someone who's going to give you like all the right strategies to use in your business, all the external game, you know, like the outer game. And so what I like to say I focus on is like soulful strategy. So in, like, doing the things in your business that are necessary, like having the right mechanics in place, but then also having that come from a place that's soul-informed and soul-led. So if something doesn't feel aligned for you, why the heck are you doing it? You know, because it's only going to feel like, icky. And it's so interesting because we're at such a point in our lives where we are starting to listen to our bodies and starting to like know what those feelings are and listen to them where I feel like people have not done that

in the past no like nobody really sits back and listens to what it is that they're feeling and I know we're also busy right now and so go go and trying to figure our lives out but I still feel like we're being a little more self-aware these days with what feels right and wrong totally and that's that's I find that would be probably very helpful when you know starting a business or you know doing what feels right because I think people on the other side of that see that too you You know, if you're trying to sell something to someone and you're not fully, like, believing it or loving it, people can tell. Yeah, it's all energy. It is all energy.

Literally, what you feel when you're creating something is what someone's going to feel on the other side of it. They won't consciously know that, of course, but they're going to feel the energy of it, which is something that I think is so important, especially for women entrepreneurs or women who are starting a business or leading something or feel called to, especially in this new year, like start it. the way that you want it and do it in an intentional way and not just what everybody else is doing or what someone said to do because they're an expert in whatever, you know, like trust your inner wisdom. Women don't realize the power they have with intuition. No. Not at all.

And it's so powerful. And that's something that with my clients and in the work that I do, it comes up all the time because that's really how your soul speaks to you. Right. And being a coach such a as a life or career coach is relatively a new career for you, right? Like when you're growing up and before you found your purpose in your current business, what did you originally want to do? Well, I kind of wanted to do this, but I didn't know what the heck it was called. Yeah.

Like it's a relatively new field in general coaching. And so when I was in college, I took a positive psychology course, like an elective. And that's when everything just lit up for me because I was already a psych major. I wanted to find a way to combine like nutrition and health and all these things that felt like they belong together because they're all part of the bigger picture, right? Like you can't really be truly thriving if your nutrition is out of balance or if your mindset isn't great or, you know, it's not about just going and sort of having like a Band-Aid solution put on top of everything. It's really about getting to the root of it to create a more holistic like model. And that should be something people look at in every aspect. of their life, right?

Totally. Like relationships, career, everything that you're doing, you should be looking at the root and working from there. Yeah. Which it's, I mean, we're all, I say this all the time, it's just everybody's so busy. And for some reason, we find it so impossible to find time for ourselves, yet we find time to scroll Instagram for like hours. Right.

You get caught up in all these things of being, oh, so busy. Oh, okay, but really, I just don't have proper time management skills. Like, wake up. an hour earlier and like write down some thoughts or do you know we just have to prioritize where we're putting our thoughts and what we want for ourselves exactly so it's easier so than done totally yeah managing our attention i think is becoming the most important thing now because we have so many things that are pulling at our attention constantly right like social media or someone else's needs and all the things right pets and whatever keeping your relationship healthy and doing

things for yourself. Like it is so many things. There's not enough hours in the day, you know? Right. That's what they say. All right. So Mr. Chris Harrison was telling me about this crazy party Hulu through in Beverly Hills with all the biggest reality TV stars from like every show. And now I have to watch the commercials to see what happened like everyone else. I don't usually get FOMO, but in this case, I have extreme FOMO here. Luckily for you, Hulu has the reality TV that you love. So start your free trial today at Hulu.com. And you started a business at 22. Yeah.

That's wild. I mean, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you right now? 27. 27. Okay. So 22, to me, I mean, everybody's different. I would have been a complete shit show idiot if I started a business at 22. Like, how did you do that?

And have you just always kind of had that in you? I think I have had it in me at some level. And I think we all do. Like we all, if we look at what we're interested in when we're like five years old, you know. We tend to see the common threads line up in our lives and, and ultimately direct us toward our purpose. But I think for me, I was like a soul that came in hot. Like, I knew what I wanted to do, whether I knew what that was or not. I knew I wanted to help people. I knew that I really wanted to do things in a different way. I wanted to really impact a lot of

people through my work. And you knew that at like a young age. Yeah. Well, I felt that. And I think probably you felt that too when you were young and you wanted to perform or whatever. Like, it was the seed was planted at that point in time. And then I think our environment and the things we show up to and the way that the things that we learn and all of that stuff kind of conspires to create the proper nurturing for that seed to grow. Right. That's a good point. So yeah. So for me, like I was in college studying psychology, but kept learning about like the like mental discord, basically. And I was like, I don't really feel called to do that work. Like I don't necessarily want to just talk to people about anxiety, depression, like, that's really necessary and beautiful work. And

I feel called to something different, but where do I fit in this? So for me, it was sort of like, okay, once I found positive psychology and understood that like the applied version of that was coaching, then I was like, okay, this is the thing for me to do. And I kind of, like, I worked at a magazine publishing company and did ad sales for like a year while I figured out what was my next step because I graduated from college a year earlier than expected. And so I just was like, great. Now I have this like fallow time. What do I do? And so then I started a coach training program and started building my business while I was still working full time at the magazine. And then just transitioned to that easier. I mean, there are little hustler over here. There's more to the story,

of course, like more ups and downs and challenges and all that stuff. Well, I mean, of course, what we're some of your challenges that you went through that you had to overcome well for me you know it was like i yeah like i'm trying to think back to that point in time it could have even just been like that you were unhappy and what you were doing and finding that you know like that's not easy to it's not easy to go to school think you know what you're supposed to do and choose to switch gears and do something else that that your heart's telling you to do exactly that's the challenge in itself that yeah and then it was sort of like okay well great i know what i want to do but like how do i make it happen, you know? Like, okay, I have the idea for what I want to do. I have the vision

for it. But like, how do I put the pieces together and what are the steps? And how did you do that? So I am very fortunate to have had a coach through the training program that I was in. So you had one of you. Yeah, exactly, which was awesome. And so I learned the value of having someone like that in your life to say, like, okay, what do you? And to ask you the questions of reflection of like, what is it that you desire and how to tap into your. own intuition so that you make sure that you're staying on your path and not someone else's. Yeah, which is hard to, I mean, everybody gets caught up and everybody else's path for some reason.

Right. But tell me one thing, are you at the beginning of 27 or end of 27? End, I guess. Okay. Do you feel like 27 has been a pivotal age for you? Totally. Yeah. And it feels weird to be like, oh, the year of 27 is almost over.

Like, I feel like I just turned 27 this year. He's gone so quickly. That's just going to continue. I swear to God, I'm like still 27. And I'm like, wait, what? I'm 34. Yeah. I'm freaking 34.

I feel like I'm still 27. Yeah. I feel like I'm still 20. Yeah, I really am. Ageless at heart. You know what? You're right about that. I hope I feel that way when I'm like 80.

I'm like, you will. I'm still 20. But I just find, and I talk about this a lot on the podcast, and I always like to hear people's opinion on it or thoughts of the year 27 for women just seems to be. such a like change around time for you just kind of are like starting to figure out who you really are and feel confident in that and it's just the beginning because let me tell you 34 is so great I know I love listening to you talk about what 34 is like because I remember what you were you on the bachelor at 27 or how old were you? I was 29 yeah but like look at how much has happened in

your life since then and that's only a couple years yeah it's crazy it's so amazing It's crazy. And I think it just, I think it is part of, you know, I don't, I don't think this would have worked for me if I would have went on that show so long ago. I think I was just at a more confident time in my life and knew what I wanted to do career wise and like more focused and content with who I was as a person and believed in myself a little more. And that really for me and the more I talked about this, the more I heard other people opening up that that really happened for a lot of women around 27, 28. So yeah. I feel like there's a refinement that's happened for me this year of like, okay, this is what I really want. Like it's felt a little bit more general or broad. And so this year it's almost like, okay, I'm like in the stride of it or I've hit the like, I've honed in on what it is that I really want and what really matters to me. Yeah. And that's so important too because I'm sure you, you know, you have clients, right, that you coach.

And I'm sure that's part of what you teach too is just like once you figure that out and once you feel confident and hone in on what it is, love and what you believe in, that's when things are going to succeed for you. Totally. It's just, it's everything about I'm a big believer in energy and like being on the right path and listening to signs around you. I'm just such a believer in that because I've been through it and I've seen it and I pay attention to it. So it's, I always want to shake people if they don't like believe and that's something.

You're like, trust me. Yes. It's real change if you just like pay attention to it. Right. So walk me through kind of how. you work with a client like if somebody was to come to you and just be like I don't know where to start like how how do you work I mean I'm sure it's different for every person but what does it usually look like when people call you and say that they want help yeah it is so different for

every person but at this moment in time anyway I have like three different ways that I work with clients that because you do one-on-one right I do that and I have a mastermind program for women entrepreneurs it depends on what what stage of business they're in okay so like if they're just starting, I have something for that. If they're at the point where they're growing, I have something for that. And then if they want to scale up from where they are, then I have something for that. So it's sort of like an experience-based thing. But when I work with clients, what I really want to get them into is like a space of sisterhood and an environment of other women who are walking the path who understand, you know, how to tap into their feminine wisdom and the value of

sisterhood, which is different than just female friendships. You know? And so when we have, when I hold that space of like sacred sisterhood, I call it, when women can come together, they understand something. It's like something clicks, something like ancient within them clicks. And they're like, oh my gosh, I can see my own power reflected through these other women, which is so awesome. Sorry to interrupt. I just like had this thought because I went to this, I spoke at this thing. I can't remember how long ago it was like maybe two years ago. And it was all about. like bringing women together and women empowerment and and starting business like that whole thing and and I remember her standing up there saying you just watch and like pay attention to when you put a bunch of women in one room together who want to help each other who are like you know who are empowering another like you just watch what happens it's so powerful yes and ever since she said that I've been like holy shit it's true and that's I had a really tough

time making friends in Nashville, I mean, a part of that was because I was never here, but I just found it really hard to find a true solid group of girls and women. And then it was like the second I thought about that and opened my world to like, you know, not just, oh, this person reached out to me on Twitter and they're in this world. Let's be friends. But like actually paid attention to people I met in my day to day life or at the gym or certain. And we built this little group of women now that we have, we're all just doing their own little thing. and starting their own businesses. And I'm just like, of course I found my way to this group chat. Now we're all such good friends. And when we get together, it's powerful. It really is. Yeah. And that's what you obviously believe in and teach and preach.

And I love that. Yeah. And I think that that tends to be the thing that a lot of women are missing, whether it's because like we have a story around being fearful of connecting with other women or having had experiences in our past that have taught us. that it's not safe to connect with women that will be burned or that will be stabbed in the back or something.

Or if we're just holding a narrative around being competitive with other women that can really stand in our way to having and cultivating that sisterhood in our life. So I think that's the thing that most women don't realize that they need as much as they actually do. And since I know that you know this too,

but like I see the power in it and I've experienced it. So that is core to everything that I do now. is like bringing women together, gathering them, making sure that they have that connection of sisterhood between them so that then they have just a much better baseline to start from no matter what it is that they're doing and no matter what stage of business they're in. Yeah. Because that is like, oh, so, so important, like a critical foundation that when you have that, you feel so much more unstoppable. You're like, oh, in these moments of doubt and the sort of like waves that we go through in entrepreneurship or in life, when I need to be reminded. because I feel doubtful of myself, I can just turn to my sisters and then get that reflection

back of like, oh, yeah, I am brilliant and capable and powerful in my own unique way. And nobody else can do exactly what I do the way that I do it, which we need reminding of all the time when we're doing big things, you know? All right, everyone, if you are looking for a fun way to pass a time while engaging your brain and enjoying breathtaking visuals and a gripping story, your answer is Best Fiends. Best Fiends is a casual puzzle game with the cutest little characters and so many levels for you

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That's just who I am. Especially being in the bachelor world. It's just a big competition. Right. Literally. Yeah, it really is. And then, you know, there's always the next bachelorette. Somebody, you know, it's always like the 2.0 of the last one.

And it's just more, better improve. You know, it's just. Yeah, it is. And you feel like that mentality. Yeah. And that's, you have to really talk yourself out of that and know your worth. And I think that applies to a lot of people in many things. do in life, but that's how I can relate to that is once you figure out that it's not a

competition, that you can actually help each other and help yourself by helping each other. Like, you can grow, I don't want to say use them, but you know what I mean? Like, what's a good, that's a better use of a word than just, I'm not using you. I'm like, like, I know what you mean. I'm trying to explain like the word either. Like to bring you in. Synergy together. Yeah, like instead of feeling like, oh, I'm competitive with this person, bring them into your life and how can you help each other instead of, because that's going to be a more powerful and bigger or better thing than holding that competitive feeling or being like, well, I'm not going to do that because.

Right. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I can't believe how many times I hear women making excuses like, oh, well, that's already being done. Yeah. So I can't. Everything is so not true. Yeah.

Right. Like, but nobody is doing it in your unique way with your unique set of strengths and. experiences and skills. I mean, there's literally no one else like you in this whole entire world. You can never replicate a person. Even if you clone them. You literally can't replicate it. Right.

So special. It should be that alone should just be enough for everybody. But again, it took me so long to get there. Like I kept thinking, oh, you know, these girls are going to come off the bachelor and they're going to get a podcast and my podcast. And then I was like, that was a few years ago when I felt that way. And now I'm just like, but even if. they did good that's great let's be on each other's podcast to bring more awareness to the podcasting

and you're not me so we're going to have a very different podcast anyways yeah and and now i just have a way different mindset on it just from i mean honestly i think it's by surrounding myself with good people and having those honest conversations absolutely yeah and i think too like what you were saying about somebody else having another podcast it's like the mission of it is completely different like for each of us, I believe that our souls are here to make a really unique impact in the world. And we're here to have experiences that help us grow and expand our soul's wisdom for future lifetimes or the collective or healing our family lineage or whatever it might be. And so for each of us to, we're each on our own missions. There's literally no such thing as being able to compare.

Like we can't, but our minds will tell us otherwise. And society will tell us otherwise. And society will tell us otherwise all the constructs and all the things will tell us something different so i'll never forget the the creator of the bachelor tweeted one time and it was the next bachelor's after me we know uh and he said i think she's the hottest bachelor at we've ever had and i remember being like that is so wrong not only because you're only putting it on her looks but you're just like making everybody else in the past feel like shit and it's like that's just such a disgusting thing to say like she's so much more than that too right and I remember thinking like that was so disgusting because that's exactly what society has done who's the next best thing what's the next you know

like what's who's the younger prettier better right next one right and it's this like it's this cultural paradigm that we've created which I think is so important to recognize also when we're talking about business because the way that business quote unquote and entrepreneurship has been created. The business world is so masculine. And by that, I mean energetically masculine, not necessarily men versus women, but like the masculine qualities, the masculine energies are so overvalued and the feminine qualities are so undervalued. So of course we end up with this like imbalanced system in general and this idea that we have to show up a certain way or do it a certain way because that's the way it's been done before us. But then we forget like as women that

actually right now we're at this such a pivotal time where we have so many incredible opportunities to make our impact and share our voices and share our messages and share our missions and all that could work and we can do it however the hell we want yeah we can just carve out a new path we don't have to do it the old way that's in fact that's what's going to make yes that's going to bring success and change is doing it in your own unique way and not following the paths of other things. And fulfillment, like deep fulfillment through our work. And I think that's the other thing that I really want to make sure that everyone knows is that it is so possible to create a business to do something that feels purposeful and meaningful and feel fulfilled

and not necessarily burnt out by it. You know, I think we have this really toxic idea around what it looks like to work hard and to be successful. And it's not necessary to subscribe to that and if you do then you're creating and reinforcing that reality for yourself you're just making it true yeah yeah absolutely whatever you believe is what's going to be true for you we'll be back with more off the vine with kately bristow you're listening to off the vine with kately bristow you've talked about how people often use business as an excuse in a way to denom themselves when business in reality doesn't equal success. Yeah.

So what do you, like, what do you mean by that? What do you think success actually looks like and, and why do you think people confuse being busy with being productive or successful? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, gosh, it's such a huge conversation to have, too. I'm going to try to, like, unpack it in a succinct way. But I think for a lot of people, right, we've grown up, I know for me, I grew up in a

family that's very blue collar. Like, everybody was always living paycheck to paycheck. there was never more than enough, there was not an abundance mentality, there was very much a scarcity mentality. There's a lot of like, there's a, there's a big hold of that kind of system and the way that like this construct around what it means to work hard and be successful and have money or abundance in other ways. So I think what we tend to feel is that in order to be successful, it means we have to work really hard because that's the narrative that culture family has told us, right? So we say, okay, great. Well, if I have to work really hard to be

successful, then if I'm not working hard, that means I'm being lazy or I'm failing. Exactly. And that's not actually true at all because what we're doing when we subscribe to that belief system is we're basically negating the power of our soul, of spirit, of the universe, all of that. And we're saying, like, my human physical experience is all that matters, which is totally untrue. Right. we basically like throw our power out and we're like okay well I just have to muscle through it and force and push and that's the only way to be successful and then when we start achieving from that place we end up feeling really empty you know every time yeah without fail right we get to it and we're like oh this doesn't feel the way I wanted it to or I thought it would yep shoot now what

yeah well I just I guess I'll just keep grinding I guess I'll just keep hustling and unfortunately like those words even hustle grind they hold such a yeah a weight to them and it's what we see all the time you know I see when I think of a hustler I think of people doing what they love to do yeah and going after that yeah and if you redefine it sure but like yes I know you mean it's used and I mean it's like hustle means work yourself to the bone and there's also sort of like a connotation there of being dishonest in a way right like a hustler yeah is someone who's like do it what is I don't even know really what the real definition is but like let's look it reminds me of what does it remind me of someone who's like shaking like kind of like a gangster like

shake you down if you don't give me my money that's true yeah yeah yeah okay I don't know if that's that's that's accurate but that's kind of what it conjures up for me I'm absolutely Googling hustler definition an aggressively enterprising person aggressive yeah why do we We don't have to be aggressive about it. I mean, you can. That's fine. Sure, right. If that's you.

But like, can you be fiercely on your mission instead of like aggressive? Right. Because aggressive is like at someone. Yeah. Or something. Right. Fiercely on your mission. That is good.

I am fiercely on my mission. I actually really like that. I'm like, if you, do you write, are you going to write a book? Sure. Yeah. That's your title right there. Fiercely on a mission. Or the subtitle or something.

Yeah. We'll have to. That's good. That's good. That happens. That's good. Next manifestation. Yes.

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can be self-harm. Oh, yes. Yeah. So you used, like, where are you getting these things from? I do my research. I do my research. Like, you're right. I did say that once. Thank you for reminding me. That's good medicine to hear again. Absolutely. And you used the gym as an example, right? Yeah. Yeah. So can you explain how that one activity can be both self-care or self-harm, depending on how you look at it? Yeah. So it's all about the inner game, right? It's all about our perspective and how we actually look at something and perceive it. And that's always a choice, right? Which is the good news is we can always change it at any given moment. But I think what a lot of people do is they put themselves in this little box where they don't actually feel free and they don't actually

feel like they're choosing it. They're doing something because they feel like they have to or because Goop said they should be doing it. Like buying this expensive face cream that's organic and like That's beautiful and lovely, nothing wrong with it. But the motivation behind why you're doing it actually creates the experience that you're having, right? So if you're going to the gym and you're like, oh, I just have to be here so that I can look better and so that I can, you know, be approved of and that I can feel good about myself because I won't unless I achieve X result or look a certain way, then what we're actually doing is just adding stress, right? We're just like spiking our cortisol levels, making it a stressful experience. We might have. as well go like just do nothing. That would actually be a better outcome, right? Like the net response in your body is actually more positive if you were to do nothing and not beat yourself up about it, right? But like, oh, I actually do nothing. I feel that because I honestly have been doing nothing for the last, like I wanted to do nothing in December. Not a lot of travel, not a lot of work. Like get back to it in the new year. And I'm telling you, I didn't feel guilty about one second

of it. I was sleeping all the time. I was eating whatever I wanted. I was just like doing what like I felt like my body needed. And I honestly am so in like a good headspace for 2020 and feel so good and needed that. And I was like, I just listened to what I was feeling. I'm like, honestly, I'm so run down. I feel like shit. I need to just do nothing for a month and sleep and eat and drink. And I don't care. And I feel so good. about doing nothing. Exactly. Yes. And you charge the batteries. Cheers to that. I'll cheers to do nothing and feeling good about it. Yeah.

And that's what creates sustainability, right? Like, thank you for bringing that up because it really does, like, we need rest. Rest is important. When we look at the seasons and the way that like, you know, Mother Earth, the feminine, right, does things. It's from a place of like, you know, we have winter where everything goes dormant and it's a restful period. it's internal and then we have spring where things are new beginnings and they start to pop up right and then we have summer which is like whoa everything's in full bloom and then we have fall that's like okay winding down harvest you know and that's the like that's a sustainable approach to success

and to business and to anything in our lives if we want to create any creative process right requires also that like dormant rest period and nature doesn't feel guilty for having winter like Could you imagine? That's so crazy. I love this. This is so perfect because it's like you go through seasons with your emotions and feelings too. Why is Mother Nature allowed to go through seasons and you're not? You should go with them.

Exactly. And the beauty of women's bodies and women, like, this is actually a book title, women's bodies, women's wisdom. I think it's Dr. Christiane Northrop. I think. I think, I think, I think, a doctor, yeah. I think it may be. I'm like, I think it is. I think it is.

Yeah, you knew. So, yeah. Yeah, but, like, that is the beauty of a woman's body and intuition and the process that we literally go through in our bodies every month. I know you like to talk about, like, menstruation and the power of period, right? And, like, reclaiming that. It's so amazing because you can use the same cycle every single month, right? There's, like, it actually lines up really well with the moon cycles. So you have, like, you know, but within you, I actually created this thing that sort of layers them all together.

It's a free gift on my website. Oh, that's cool. Wait, and tell us what the website is? Emilycastle.com. Okay. Spelled C-A-S-S-E-L. And people are going to think like the castle. Yes.

Also lovely because that's sovereign, but not the way you spell it. Great name, though. Yeah, okay, so it's on your website. Yeah, so it's like basically, right, you have the cycle of creation that's actually sustainable, which you can use your menstrual cycle if that's regular, but if it's not, or if you're on birth control or if you're pregnant or whatever, you can also just follow the phases of the moon every month to check in with like, okay, where am I?

How, what process of creation am I in? Like, what phase? That is so fascinating. Isn't it? I find that to be like the coolest thing. Whenever I share that with anyone, like women who are 17 or 59, you know, they're like, oh my God, how did I not know about that my whole life? And I've been feeling, I've been beating myself up for not being in basically like a summer phase every day of my life all year when that's not the way it's actually supposed to be.

See, now this is my challenge because Jason is in the summer phase all year. Yes. Okay. We can talk about this. Okay. Okay. This also goes back to like the way that the business world is set up, set up and the way that we think we have to show up in business to be successful. So men operate on a 24 hour hormonal cycle. So they basically, like, they wake up, they take a little while, they peak around noon, and then they start to come back down. It's like a little bell curve. Okay. And for women, we operate on a 28-day hormonal cycle. Yeah. So it's so different.

Literally, like, our brain and body chemistry changes up to 30% every day. It's nuts. Whoa. So, like, literally, you are not the same person every day. No, I am not. You're not. No, me neither. We're not supposed to be. I'm not, I'm the most inconsistent human being on the planet with emotions.

But I bet you are, like, if you were to look at it over the course of a month, it would be consistent with the next month. It is. It is. I've kept track of, I spent an hour and a half at this clinic yesterday with the most brilliant doctor. She's a naturopath and just talking about these kinds of things. And she just specializes in like women's health. And you're trying to not swallow it. You are so cute.

Thank you for doing that. So I can't even handle the own. sound of my self-swallowing wine. And it was just so, I love that we are starting to all connect and understand these things because now I've really paid attention to, in my cycle, I write notes. Okay, like today, super irritable, not feeling motivated. Two days later, I could be like, whoa, I feel fantastic. I'm, like, feeling energized.

I have so many great ideas. Then, like, a week later, it's just, it is. But if I look back on all the months, it really is lining up. Right. I know for me, like the last three days of ludial phase in my cycle, it's the phase before menstruation. So you have follicular, ovulation, luteal, and then menstrual. Okay. And those literally line up with the four phases of the moon.

So you have like follicular is like, or wait, let's start with one of the ones that's actually like full or new. So the full moon is like ovulation. Yeah. And the energy of it is literally the same. You know how when you're ovulating, you're like super radiant and magnetic and energized and you're like, woo-hoo, let's go. This is the time to like take photos and be on a red carpet or like whatever you have to do. If you could line it up perfectly, that would be the moment, right? So that is literally the energetic equivalent of the full moon, right?

It's like radiant and big and bright and fully expressed. And then you have the new moon, which is. is like dark, right? This is the beginning of a cycle, which is menstruation. It's shedding, release, all that. Super dark. Yeah, super dark moment for some of us, right? And then you have ludial phase, which is between ovulation and menstruation, and that's sort of like the waxing moon. And then you have follicular, which is like the waning moon. So is that right? Don't ask me why I am so into this. I said it opposite.

So it's hard to do with that like a paper in front of me to be like, this is what it looks like. But yeah. So and then those line up with the seasons, the four seasons. So you have like ovulation is like summer, similar energy. And then you have the winter, which is like menstruation, dark barren. Not much happening all in. Well, there's a lot happening. A lot of happening.

But yes, I know you mean. Just internal and more intuitive and like beneath the surface, not as outward and like, woo let's go do all the things the energy isn't there it's more inside and then so each of these phases just lines up perfectly with one another and I'm like if you tell me women's bodies are not freaking magical once we line all that up that's I mean they're magical it's so amazing it I said this once I froze my eggs like just seeing what my body was capable of doing through that I'm like and women can just create life and then their bodies like react to like a baby crying or like it just goes back to I don't know however many years ago that like

we're all still the same right and it really is magical it is and then we think right so if we were to apply the same thing to our businesses the way that we run our businesses right if you were to plan accordingly because now we know like all those phases are pretty reliable and consistent but then we a lot of my clients will say I have trouble with consistency and what they mean by that is like I have trouble doing the same thing every day, which is, I mean, we have to redefine what consistency means for women, right? Because doing the same thing every day is not going to work and it's going to feel stifling, actually. It's not going to feel like you're able to be fully expressed or creative or... Yeah, consistency could be what we just said about how, like,

some parts of the month you aren't on your A game, but then you can get back into it or you can feel dark or you can feel like that's, you're just going to go through those and that's consistent. Yeah. And the other thing is, like, yes, you're off your A game when it comes to what we would normally define as like the outward movement. But if you know that, you can actually plan to do certain tasks at certain phases of the month so that you're not working against yourself. You're actually leveraging the energy of where you are. Yeah. So for example, in like ludial phase when your energy is coming down and all your hormones are like coming back down, you would be served in like tying up loose ends, doing more. admin stuff like it's so amazing when you actually look at it right yeah it's just honestly about paying attention and looking into it doing a little research and then help help like using it as a tool to help you right instead of work against yourself so much of it so much is in the mind too of feeling guilty like yeah or feeling like you should be doing this or you should be feeling this way and I do that to myself all the time when instead of just being like this is where I'm at

right now so I'm going to allow my body to relax and do more of this like that's It just, there's so many things in life that just sound so simple, but actually do it and follow through. It seems so impossible at times. Right. That's why there's people like you to coach us through. Exactly. All right.

Anyone else out there ready for cuffing season to end? Honestly, it's a lot of unnecessary pressure for those singles out there and even more for people in relationships. And if you're a single vino, who needs the hassle and hurry of trying to find a partner right before Valentine's Day? we're all way too stressed out as it is what we really need is a moment to chill why not skip cuffing season and hit the reset button with a cold Coors Light instead these days everything is just go go go nonstop hustle has taken over and it's kind of a lot there's work friends family a million

pressing social issues and an expectation to be on all the time and be your best self coer's light believes in turning down the pressure have you seen their new ad about a confident woman who decides to skip cuffing season. I love it. She stays home to chill with her dog instead. It looks amazing. It's probably my dream date. A date with the dogs. Sorry, Jason. Okay, you can be there too. But that's why Coors Light is the one I choose when I need a moment of chill. So this year, skip cuffing season and chill with a Coors Light instead.

Coors Light, Mountain Cold Refreshment, made to chill. Celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. We'll be back with more off the book. with Caitlin Bristow. Calling all Gleks. I'm Kevin McAil. And I'm Jenna Ashkowitz. We became best friends on the set of Glee.

And now we're doing the Glee Recap podcast you have been waiting for. How romantic. Each week we'll take you behind the scenes. Spill all the Glee tea. And break down episodes from season one with former cast, crew, producers, and writers that brought the show to life. I think everyone needs a little more tardy in their lives. Get new episodes of Showman's every Thursday on Spotify, Apple, Apple,

podcasts and podcast one.com now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow I feel like so many people think they're making mistakes too along the way which which they are and you need to but what are some of the mistakes you've seen people make trying to find their passion or pursue that passion once they've found it like

it feels like finding and then going after your passion and your mission can be very overwhelming for people so what are some common mistakes people make Some common mistakes that people make are, I mean, there are so many, but I think for, for one is like what we said earlier about comparing themselves to other people. Yeah. Like, oh, that so-and-so is already doing that so I can't. Well, that's not true at all. You have a totally different audience.

You have different people that have sole contracts with you that are meant to work with you and can only be activated by you in this lifetime. So don't take that lightly. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's a huge responsibility and a beautiful opportunity. to be of service and it doesn't matter if someone else is doing something similar to what you're doing because no one can be you and you can't be them and so there's no point in even entertaining that conversation right I think another thing that people do is they they quit right before they're

about to like get the gold yeah what that is such a thing it is such a thing why they're scared well yeah I mean okay so today when I'm coming here to like do this with you yeah literally like bucket list moment for me literally that's so nice so no it's true i mean i listened to the podcast all the time i was so nervous i was like holy shit and then i was like you know this is probably why people back down right before they're about to like do the thing that they actually want because it's so much more convenient not to you don't have to face the anxiety the fear the worry the doubt you don't have to work through that that's true and you a big fear for me is always disappointing people and i think that's where I would quit before doing something big because I wouldn't want to

disappoint. Yeah. It's like whatever your thing is that you're afraid of or that you're worried about, you want to avoid it. So you will. Yes. But if you have someone in your life who's like, hmm, where's that coming from? Yeah.

Right. Is that really true for you? Do you really want that thing? Like what's coming up for you when you think about it? Can we notice where that sensation is in your body? Does it feel like an intuition like a don't do this? or does it feel like a fear don't do this? Yeah.

Just resistance. And so I think also like people tend to not do the thing that they want to do because there's so much riding on it. And then they confuse the feeling of resistance and excitement because fear and excitement actually have a very similar energetic frequency. So we can just, it's all appraisal. Like what do we call it? You know? So if we call it fear, then it creates like a shutdown in our body. but if we call it excitement, it creates like a light up in our body.

So I think that's really cool too. And it sends a different signal to your brain and every system in your body. Just like if you were to say, like, you know, I'm feeling really visionary today versus anxious. Yeah. Right? Because it's kind of the same thing. Ooh, I'm going to switch my vocabulary. Anxiety is literally just envisioning a future that you don't want, right?

That you don't want to happen. You're right. So actually what I think is like, wow, you're so visionary. You can imagine so many. different possibilities. Look at you go. I'm going to tell Jason to tell me that when I'm having a moment because sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety and I mean with a vision. Yes, right, a vision that I don't work. And it's really me thinking about all the bad things that could happen in life. And I'm like, why does my brain do that? It's because I'm a

visionary. Yes. And because like, you know, we're all trying to keep ourselves safe in some way. Yeah. But if we can switch the track, right? Like if we can just say it differently, it's sends a totally different signal to our whole mind body. And sometimes that's all it takes is just saying it differently to yourself. Literally. Yes. I've definitely learned that. I'm going to look into Twitter and see if people had some questions for you, which they do.

I'm excited. Well, yeah. I'm nervous, but I'm going to call it excitement. I like it. Leslie Nicole says, how much money would you need to start a business? Realistically or roughly. Depends on the business. Right.

gosh I mean zero dollars really because it depends on what it is right like today we are so lucky and fortunate to not need $250,000 to buy a brick and mortar space to be able to have a business because thank you internet anybody can start a business so I think depending on the type of business that you want to have I mean you can literally start a business off of Instagram and sell it sell things that you create through PayPal I mean it's like right there's literally no barriers anymore so just start and do it um and then test from there and see see how it goes so like literally the cost of goods whatever it takes for you to actually make the thing that you want to sell if it's a product based business if it's a service based business even better because you literally don't need

product yeah it you are the product yeah so you know I think people have this idea too that you need all of this stuff first and people make oh this is another one people make so many excuses about like oh, well, I have to do this thing first, or I have to do that thing first, or I have to do this. And really what they're saying is like, oh, I have to feel good enough, which you will never feel if you keep finding the pieces that you don't have yet. That's so true. It's like an endless spiral and it will never get you to where you want to go. That's a great point. Amanda said, how do you do it?

How do you do it? How do you start? I have a goal of creating my own cosmetics company, but I've no idea how to get there. And I think that's too, like, I mean, it's research, I think. It's having a coach like you to help you do those things. Like you said, you had a mentor or somebody that you looked to. Yeah. And I think it's having, I mean, I'm giving your own advice, but you know what I mean?

No, yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's filling in the gaps, right? So you have one is like knowledge gaps and that's research. So you have gaps. I'm like, okay, in this specific industry, what is it going to take for me to X, X, Y, Z, right? And learning from someone or listening to someone or reaching out to someone and having that conversation is really powerful who's in the industry, who's done it. And then there's also the other

side, which is like, okay, well, filling in the gaps of like the inner game, which is 90% of it, really, which is, you know, through coaching and other things that you can do to sort of boost that piece. Yeah, because I'm kind of reading all these questions. And I think what it sounds like is people just need advice you know like amanda stone said i'm in the process of starting my own podcast but i'm struggling with putting together the concept concepts concepts and structure of each episode i'm starting off solo what's the best way to start an outline and get the structure going like that's it's hard yeah but it's listening to podcasts and it's um again listening to what you actually want to talk about and what you would feel passionate about.

Yeah. And the structure just kind of comes with, depending on what you want to talk about. You know what I mean? Like I like humor. So my structure comes with like getting people to confess or, you know, like making light of things. Yeah. I also want to empower people. So I have people like you on.

And I think it's just looking into what, again, everything you believe in and finding your passion and what you want to talk about. Yeah. Like I would say for her, start with what is. your mission and what's the purpose behind it? What's the why? Because then from there, you can just reverse engineer everything to make the most sense to fit that mission and to align with it. And then the other parts, like, and don't let yourself get so caught up in your head about it all, right? Like, we get so caught up in our heads all the time. We want it to be perfect. We want to do it right. And no one has ever done this before. So, like, there is no right or perfect or comparing.

Like, what's her name? Her name is Amanda. Amanda. So, like, no one has ever created Amanda's podcast before. So Amanda gets to decide what does that look like and what does it feel like and what's going to be fun for her and what's going to be sustainable for her over time to keep going. You know, like if you choose the mission that actually sets your soul on fire and feels aligned for you and feels like the reason you came onto this planet, you know, then you're going to be able to

keep going no matter what if you choose it based on what somebody else is doing it's going to you're going to cap out yeah certain point definitely i like sarah's question she said if you're just starting out in a new field where and how do you draw the line between working for free to get the experience and honoring your knowledge background and worth oh that's such a good question i think honestly that's a that's an internal check-in of what it feels like like if it starts to feel like if you're feeling like really lit up by it and it's feeling like oh my gosh I'm getting so much inspiration from this and I'm being of service and it feels really good and juicy. And then at one point, the balanced tips and it's like, okay, I'm good enough at this now.

I don't need to be continuing to give it away for free. What's something like what feels good that I can charge. And this is something obviously that's like a very big when we talk about pricing our offerings. That's a huge like scale in any industry, right? Because it really, it has to feel good to you first. And you have to be able to say it confidently and feel it confidently if you're going to ask for it. Yeah. That's so true.

Even if it's like, okay, well, industry standard is X, you can go up and down from that, depending on what actually feels true and aligned for you, which is a really an internal, like check in and understanding how to commune with your intuition and your soul. Yeah. Yeah. This is so good. I love this advice. All right, if you guys have been listening to the pod, you know that this sponsor is one I'm absolutely in love with, and that's because I love being comfortable and stylish at the same time. And my third love bras are the perfect way to do just that. Third love does bras differently.

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purchase. That's thirdlove.com slash Vine for 15% off today. This person's Twitter name is Basic A. how can you use social media to jumpstart and support your businesses? It's clearly a huge part of marketing for most businesses. Tips for using social media from a business perspective would be appreciated. Okay. Let's see.

Well, just do it. Like start? Yeah. I think the other thing is like people are so afraid to start and it's like just do it because you learn and you gain confidence through engaging with something. You don't learn and gain confidence. through thinking about it, you learn by doing it. So I think it's just like start and be authentic and be real and share what's on your heart and share what feels true for you and share what's on mission for you and talk about

the things that matter and don't worry so much about like the vanity metrics and things that don't actually make a difference. Like just get it out there. People think, well, if I start, then I'm going to have a small amount of following. And it's like, well, that's going to be your core audience that helps you grow. and spreads the word and yes and I think the other thing is like people will look at someone like you who has like 1.3 million or something almost eight and they'll yeah oh yes own it such an idiot own it oh I should be proud of that I'm proud of you for that except now the girls are coming off to say here's my comparison thing I'm like these girls are coming off the show now with two million followers and I worked hard for that yeah and they're going to lose them over time but and like it's thing I think of the the previous bachelor's Who, Jillian Harris is one of my favorite bachelorette's, probably because she's Canadian, but she's one of my favorite people.

And, like, she worked so hard to build her brand. And it's so just, she's just the definition of a go-getter and, like, just really doing what she loves and building off of that. And it's so funny because I'm like, I want more for her. I know. But anyways, again, but that's what I'm saying. It doesn't, that shouldn't matter. Yeah. Well, the thing is, right, if you do like a quick calculation.

If you have 1,000 followers or 500 followers who all pay you $10, that's better than having $5 million and no one pays you anything. So true. And it depends what your intention is. If your intention is to like build a community and sell a product or sell a service, great. You don't need 10 million people to even have a million dollar business. Like you literally don't. I think people do. That's a really good point.

People get very, I think, overwhelmed or intimidated by the numbers on social media. I've done it. And thinking that if you have higher numbers, that's a more successful business. But you're right. It's about your intentions and creating that community of support. That's such a good point. I'm really glad he said that. Yeah.

Well, look at all the, like, meme accounts, right? They're not making money on anything. Like, they're just, they have a ton of followers. But, I mean, they might be making money through, like, ads and stuff. but that's not like they're not selling anything that's like purpose driven and like changing the world it's making people laugh which is an amazing thing and we love and also changes the world if people are happier and yada yada we could follow that ripple but you know it doesn't it's not what it takes and it doesn't matter really honestly it doesn't you're right and a lot of

times it's not even the primary way that people find you yeah it doesn't need to be that's so true that's great advice okay last question honey bunny Oh, honey. Oh, she's holding mine in her photo. Oh, she's cute. That's amazing. Oh, that's so cute. She said, I have already started my own business, but I took a back seat and I feel like I'm back at the beginning all over again.

How do you keep the momentum going if you fall off track for a while? Ooh. Oh, that's a good question. And a big one because I'm like, okay, well, tell me more. Right. What are the details? Go on. Yeah, I think, you know, I always like to talk about the, the, the, the,

word devotion comes to me when I think about business and it's a choice and it's a practice of coming back to the intention and stepping back in, you know, just like a relationship because our business, we have a relationship with it. So I think it's just like the act of like, can I step back in? And then in terms of consistency, can I set up practices that help me to reconnect to the mission and the why behind why I'm doing what I'm doing? Because just, just, the act of doing it sometimes doesn't feel heavy like weighted enough in the moment we can't quite see the whole picture of what we're working toward or how many people's lives were about to change or whatever and so that I think is so so important like can we reconnect to our why

every single day to our mission every single day so that we are coming from that place of like vision right versus just task rabbit like you can you can check off all the boxes but it doesn't make it feel meaningful. What makes it feel meaningful and like sticky is that bigger vision and the bigger mission of what you're what you're doing it for. This is why you're a coach. This is good stuff. Thank you. And you and you have a podcast. So you obviously do you talk about all this on your podcast as well. Yeah, I do. I usually interview people, but I really want to do some more. Yeah. So we talk about those things as they apply to their businesses. And where can people find your podcast?

It's on iTunes, Spotify. All the places you can find. I guess. Podcast. Yeah. Or on my website. Yeah. And so your website again is Emilycastle.com.

Right. But not. It's C-A-S-S-E-L. Yes. Yeah. And your Instagram is at Emily Castle official. Oh, official. Official.

There's another, there's somebody out there who's trying to be you. I know. You're the official. I think they had it before me. But that was like in the beginning of Instagram. I got a message to there. day that I joined oh it was Twitter I joined Twitter 10 years ago yesterday

oh my gosh congrats thanks we need another cheers for that yeah cheers to me being talking about nothing on Twitter a social media maven 10 years my god I went back once and looked at like my first tweets and I'm like I was not funny I thought I was so

funny you were probably really funny you just have grown out of you've evolved from that level of funny you're on a totally new level now yeah totally new yeah you're right I can't go backwards. Well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast and giving all this great advice. I feel like there's so many little go-getters that listen to the podcast.

And I see them on the Facebook group and I'm just like always like, God, these women that listen to this podcast are incredible. They are. And they're all incredible in that Facebook group together. And like you said, like they just feed off each other and compliment each other and they're there for each other. And I just think it's so cool. And they can also use, you know, the Facebook group to. to talk work and business and opportunities. But if anyone needs a coach and can people like contact you through Instagram or ask questions?

Yeah, totally. Amazing. Yeah. Well, everybody go follow or listen to the podcast. Thank you. And you need to write a book. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. We write the foreword. Yeah. There you go. That's it. Well, thank you so much. And where do you guys live? Philly.

Yeah, yeah. I knew that. So you're here just visiting? Yeah. Yeah. For you. Uh-uh. Yeah.

Oh, that's so, thank you so much for coming here. That's, I wanted to come to Nashville for a really long time. I'm glad I gave you an excuse. You did. This is like dream come true excuse. Oh my gosh. Yes. Are you guys going to do anything fun in Nashville?

We're definitely going to go to the honky talks. Absolutely. I'm open to any, um, I'll give you a list, um, of all my recommendations. Like, you obviously don't have to do all of them, but you can pick a couple. Oh, we will. Um, and definitely see the honky talks. Yes. Awesome.

Uh, thank you so much. and have fun in Nashville. I will. Thank you so much. Okay, I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

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