Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Erin Treloar

Episode Date: July 10, 2017

Founder and CEO of Raw Beauty Talks Erin Treloar swings by the studio to examine the online criticism Kaitlyn receives and the importance of self love in the online age. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Okay, are you ready to shake things up? Yes, I am. Well, Caitlin Bristow is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves. Because there's more to like than Instagram, right? What's that supposed to mean? Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Now here's Caitlin. Welcome to Off the Vine.

I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, if you haven't figured that out yet. I say it every time when I start this podcast, but that's fine. I'm so excited. We are podcasting from Vancouver today in my old stomping grounds. And anytime I am here, I like to get in as much friends and family time as possible. I feel like I have such a great group of friends. I have a couple in the room with me right now. Hi, girls.

Hi. I'm not just saying this because you're here, but I feel like our group of girlfriends or people we're friends with are all like these inspirational, like strong, independent, successful people. And I feel like everybody, you know, I've lived in Vancouver for almost 12 years. And I feel like all of my girlfriends have so much to do with who I am and where I'm at, where I'm at and like just who I am as a person today. That's because of who you are. You're attracting those people into your life. That's very true. That's a very good point. But I really do. I feel like I, that's, that's actually really good point. I feel like I have attracted such good people in my life. And I just do feel

like it has so much to do with, you know, you're the reason why I have a podcast, okay, is what I'm kidding at. Thank you for my success. So I thought I'd bring in one of my girlfriends who inspires me on a daily basis. And you may not know it, but I'm sure she's also inspired you. I've got my girlfriend, Erin, who is the founder of Raw Beauty Talks and is a health and wellness coach who works with women to help them feel amazing in their body, healthy, happier, less stressed, more confident. She has interviewed over 200 women in a series exploring the topics of beauty, confidence, and self-love.

And each piece is accompanied with beautiful photos of the women without makeup, no photo editing or filters. And her work has been featured in Marie Claire, the Huffington Post, LA Times, Al Magazine, amongst others. I could go on and on. I always love my intros to people because I'm like, gosh, you are amazing. You're so sweet. Thank you for being here, Erin.

Thank you for having me here. I am so excited about this podcast because we all know I'm goofy and I'm silly and I like to make people laugh and I drink, which I am right now. You're not because you're pregnant, but you're having water. I know. But I'm just, I'm really excited for this podcast because I obviously posted a couple photos in the past of no makeup, no editing just to kind of start something. sort of movement that you started and that I've been inspired by. And so I just think it's great

to have you here and to discuss some of these topics and go over stats and just really have people, even just hearing, when I was reading these out loud, I almost cried just because it's so powerful. And I'm just going to read a couple stats just so people can really grasp the fact that social media is, I mean, a magazine. too. It's really affecting our generation and more so the generation to come, which is terrifying, especially for you. It's huge. We have so much pressure on ourselves as women these days and with the younger generation coming up, which was why it was so amazing to see these incredible real Instagram photos. That's what you tagged them as. You came up with that

awesome hashtag. It was so amazing to see you post something like that because we don't see it in media ever. And it's having a really huge impact on the self-esteem and confidence of so many girls. And it was sadly so scary to post. Because it's not what we're used to seeing at all. And so it feels like we're the only one who has any flaws or, you know, anything real that's going on in the backgrounds. To put that out, it makes you so vulnerable. Vulnerable. And nobody's ever like, I love being vulnerable. It's so easy. It's like one of my qualities. Oh, your headphones fell off. I get so into talking about this stuff. You got excited. Your headphones fell off. Oh, gosh. But really, like, wait, what was I even saying? Vulnerability. Oh, yeah. Like, nobody says

that's one of their qualities. And if they do, they're lying. No, I know. I mean, being vulnerable is so scary because it means that you're opening yourself up. You're putting all of yourself. out there. And when we do that, there's a possibility that people aren't going to like what they see and that they're going to tell us that. Nobody wants to hear that they're not liked or loved or that they don't belong. And I think that was something that was so strange for me because I've always posted photos on, you know, Facebook or Instagram or whatever. And I was never like, oh, I need to make sure it's, you know, this aesthetically pleasing and edited. But I was also posting to people who just loved me for who I was and all my friends and family. So entering a world of television,

national television, where all of a sudden I'm opening up my life to mean everybody and having people not like me for just being who I am and for what I look like and what I stand for was so strange to me and so hard to understand. Why don't people like me for who I am? And they don't know you. They know your social media. media feed. They get to see your, what everyone calls the highlight reel. And so they're making judgment calls based on that and based on the person that they saw on The Bachelorette, which, I mean, I'll pose the question to you. Was that version of Caitlin 100% new? Did they get to experience 100% of Caitlin when they got to watch that show? No. No. I mean, they saw a lot. They saw a lot,

totally. But not every single emotion, every single thing. that you were going to. I was obviously very emotional through that, but and everybody saw me cry and everybody saw me do the ugly cry and everybody saw me happy. But I mean, still, it's, I always say that they, they film you at least 15 hours a day, seven days a week. But what the world sees is one hour every Monday night. So there's so much that's missing. Same thing with like, everyone's like, oh, Sean is so serious. And it's like, actually he wasn't. But that was his, like, you know, that's what they made him to be was this very serious. And they created a character.

Exactly. They created a character. And it's all wrapped up in this concept of reality TV. So we think that it's real because it is more real than a drama or like a comedy show that's already being pre-produced and things. And so there is a lot of reality there. But it's not the full story. and we're getting really good at scrolling through our Instagram feeds, getting lost in there, and feeling like we know people really well, like they're our best friends.

And yet, you never even met someone. When you probably don't know them at all. Yes. You know, and that's why I really want to have you on the podcast and talk about the raw beauty and raw beauty talks and the real Instagram hashtag and starting this movement because I think having a platform for me, I'm so excited to, do bigger, better things than just, you know, try and post a pretty picture. Like, I love that I have a voice and I love that I can like reach out to younger women and that they can, you know,

the amount of DMs I got a knot of creepy, people weren't sliding in. They were sending like nice messages and sharing their stories. And I always say I wish I could respond to everybody because it blows my mind, but doesn't really though, because of course this is happening. It happens to me is a 32-year-old woman in the world of social media, I can only imagine what it does to a fragile teenager because if I had, we all say this all the time, if I had social media when I was that age, you know, like I would probably be a complete different person than I am right now because I think it's shaping young, not even just girls, actually guys too, but you know, they see on magazines like, this is what you do to get a guy to like you and this is what your body

should look like for a guy to like you and it's all about like what you should do for a guy to like you and it makes me sick and all the photos are completely edited photoshopped all blemishes and cellulite are taken away and you're left with all of these women looking at magazine saying oh that's what I'm supposed to look like because I mean even I'm going to get to the stats because I'm starting to touch on that anyways but okay when I read these I really really felt Like, I needed to cry because it's really powerful. So here's some stats. On average, youth consume over eight hours of media every day.

That stand alone is not okay with me, and I'm probably part of that, but it's wild. Eight hours. Eight hours. When you think about the percentage of your day that you're awake, what percentage eight hours is of that? We are seeing these images and receiving these messages way more often than we're having conversations with our best friends or our parents or our support group. These images and this media that we're consuming are really creating our vision of reality more and more and more. That's so like that alone right there should just tell you like don't get caught up in that

because that's what you're feeding your brain. And if you took hours out of that and put it toward like a self love book or you know talking to your friends or family and feeding yourself with positivity and self-love. Think of how much that can influence your mind over scrolling and seeing people's highlight reel of what they want you to see. It's insanely impactful. And knowing you're doing that is so weird because we all still do it anyways. Because we are addicted to numbing ourselves out.

We're addicted to being able to check out for a minute. Our lives are so busy and so stressful and we have so much going on. And it feels like doing that Instagram scroll or watching that hour of reality TV, it just lets us relax and shut off for a minute and it's enjoyable. And there's nothing wrong with doing those things or enjoying those things. By all means, watch The Bachelorette. Yes. But I'm just saying we need to really watch how much we're watching it, how much our kids are

watching it, and be more mindful of the type of media that we're consuming. Yeah, I even say like with my nieces and nephews, you know, like taking a picture with them, I try so hard to not go back and look at it and be like, oh, no, no, let's do another one. I don't like how I look? Because how easy is that? You don't like an angle when you take a picture. And then you're just showing these young kids, oh, I don't like that one.

We need to take another one at a good angle. No, like, I used to never care. I remember I had one of those throwaway cameras. I would take the nastiest selfies. I remember I had a sucker in my mouth and it like left my mouth blue. And I had like mascara that was like under my eye. and I took this photo with my throwaway camera and I got it and I was like, huh, I look pretty cute. I thought I looked cute because it was like in the moment photo and you're having fun.

You're probably like, it's still in my photo album. Yeah. Which photo albums don't even exist anymore. Now it's Instagram albums. Yeah. But I didn't care. And now I'm like finding myself questioning if I took a good photo or not and seeing photos of myself a lot more than usual in picking myself apart.

And that's, I mean, I've always been somewhat hard on myself, obviously, but never to this extent now. No, it really perpetuates that negative self-talk in our head. And it becomes impossible to look at a picture, especially now because we're talking about the disposable cameras. You used to take one or two photos and then move on to the next scene. Now people take like 100 photos in one scene to get that. perfect image. Then they put it in

Face Tune. They put it in afterlight. They're brightening it. They're lightening it. They're cropping it. Have you ever been to lunch with a blogger? Yes. It takes a long time to eat. I'm like, my food is cold. My ice is melted in my drink. I hope you got a good photo.

Totally. But I mean, it's a lifestyle. And again, I do it too. Yeah. But it's just We all do it too. And it's really just becoming more aware of it. Exactly. conscious about when we're choosing to do it when we're not and so it's not all the time being aware is just we'll get into awareness later because i feel like that's a big part of how my mind is

starting to work now is just being aware of things now i don't know about you guys but after celebrating canada day and fourth of july last week i am so ready to get back to eating clean with green chef i can do that easily and not worry about taking the time to go grocery shopping or stressing about meal planning and sean b each week shana and i get quick easy and delicious recipes and beautiful seasonal organic ingredients delivered right to our door. I love that green chest produce has no GMO, no synthetic pesticides, no growth hormones, no steroids, and no other gross artificial stuff. What I do get is clean, tasty goodness.

I can feel great about what I eat and where it comes from. Actually, I didn't tell Sean that this was like a green chef meal and we ended up cooking and having so much fun. Sean was like, I think I'm a really good cook. I'm like, no, actually, you're following instructions and they chopped it all out for you, but cool. We're loving the omnivore and carnivore meal kits, but guess what? We can change our meal plan whenever we want. If we want to try some vegetarian dinners or even go to paleo, it's easy for us to switch between meal plans week to week. I love the flexibility. So go to

greenchef.org slash vine because green chef is giving all my lovely vine listeners, $50 off green chef box. Just go to green chef.us slash vine. That's V-I-N-E to get $50 off. Yum. But anyways, I'm getting back to the stats because 69% of girls feel magazine pictures strongly influenced their idea of the perfect body and 47% wanted to lose weight because of the pictures. These pictures are not real. Why do you want to look like something that isn't real? It's not achievable. It's not something that you're ever going to get. So you're always going to be unhappy with wanting your body. I am so time. tiny and I have cellulite. It's not going away. It's genetics. And guess what? I bet that Victoria's Secret model has it too. Some of the girls do and they've spoken out about it. Which I love. Yes. There's nothing I love more than when people like you or people who are in the limelight are brave enough to step forward and say, hey, I'm not perfect either. And that's

okay. Yeah. We're still doing amazing things. We're still like making impact. We're still making you laugh. We're still having fun. And I wish life goes on. I wish these magazines were preaching how much confidence is beauty and how much who you are as a human makes you beautiful because

you know it's funny. Is watching The Bachelor, Bachelorette before I was ever on it, I always thought that these girls eventually just got their hair and makeup done through the show because to me they got better looking. So when I went on the show I was like, where's hair and makeup? And they're like, no, no,

you don't do that. And I found out that I actually was just more attracted to their personalities and learning more about who they were, that they became more attractive to me. Interesting. Yes. As the show went on. So they weren't actually changing. You just were getting to know them.

Yes. Which, isn't that crazy? It's, I mean, it is crazy that that's the way our mind works at first. There's that whole, you don't judge a book by its cover. And that's the perfect example of that. But we do. We're so used to doing that. Yeah.

And it's, I mean, when you talk about this stat relating to the magazines and images that we see in magazines, it's so important for girls to remember as well that the individuals that are generally driving the content in these magazines are the advertisers. And the advertisers need to sell products. And some of these products are absolutely amazing, wonderful products. But some of them have a lot of money behind them and a lot of photo editing behind the pictures that are being used to sell them. flat tummy tea doesn't work and it won't make my tummy flat overnight? I don't know. I'm yeah, no comment. But these magazines have huge advertising dollars that are behind them. And the reality is we're not buying the products unless we feel like the product's going to help us improve. So the images have to be better than the way that we look. So it creates this cycle

And, I mean, what I love is seeing magazines like self and glamour now starting to shift the content that we're seeing even on their front covers. And that's because people are asking for it. People on social media have a voice now and they're asking for change. Which is so great to see because it could go the opposite direction with the world we live in. And it's nice to see that there is some sort of change happening on those magazines. I'm going to get to another one in six youth will explain. experienced an anxiety disorder at some point in their life with rates of anxiety and depression increasing by 70% over the past 25 years. A recent study found that Instagram is the most

damaging social network to young people's mental well-being, causing feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. Not shocking. Not shocking at all. Not shocking at all. Next. We don't even have to break that one down. Nope, nope. That makes so much sense, of course. the number one wish of girls between the ages of 11 and 17 is to be thinner. Heartbreaking, 11 years old, like my niece will be 11 next year, and I want to cry, thinking about her ever wanting to be thinner or having that kind of mindset of wanting to change her body at that age. I know.

And it's, honestly, it's happening younger and younger with the media literacy program that we run free to be. we're seeing girls who are in like grade four grade five it's so young and again just having these conversations and having a voice we can help or try to shift people's mindset and I want to be that voice for my niece and for other young girls out there so I feel like I'm just like so passionate about this I could cry 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat this fear transcends that of nuclear war cancer or losing their parents it's wild that that they're afraid of being fat over death and that i don't even have words sometimes when i say when i say those facts out loud i'm

like what i know i mean it's these feelings of inadequacy are so deep and we start to receive these messages at such a young age um so many of a us, I mean, my mom's amazing and she's never worn makeup and she's like way more about being on the tennis court than shopping mall. Amazing. You know, and it's not to say, again, that those things are bad, but it's really, the messages are coming at us from so many different angles, often from our mothers as well. And it's so important as a mom for any of you who are out there listening right now to really

be aware of the way that you're speaking about your body. the way that you're using your body and how you're teaching your your children to value their appearance versus their skill sets, their unique characteristics, their personalities, which is so, which will take them so far in life if you teach them that, that alone, you know, like I always say screw college, social skills and confidence and loving yourself will get you really far in life. Really far. And then they can build on those skills. But it's always going to be a bit of a losing battle when you put all of your value into

the way that you look. Because according to society, we should all look like we're 20 and 100 pounds and the body type changes from year to year, really. Yeah. It's a losing battle. And you know what? It's even interesting from my standpoint is that I've always been super tiny and grew up in a dance studio where you're constantly in the mirror and looking at other girls' bodies

and comparing. And what my insecurities were growing up. were not about being overweight, I was so insecure about how skinny I was because guys used to tell me that they would use me for their dog's throwing stick. No. Yes. And that I would be more attractive if I had bigger boobs or if I was bigger. And so my whole life I've thought like, oh, guys want big boobs and that's what's attractive

and I'm too tiny. And so it's not even like the 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat. it can go the opposite way too because that was an issue for me growing up. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think people think, you know, oh, she's skinny, so she must love her body. But you can go the opposite way and feel, you know, like you're inadequate because you're too tiny and that people don't find that attractive. Because the amount of times I've talked about this on other podcasts that people have said to me like, are you sick or are you okay? You're looking so thin and you should eat.

And like that, to me, I'm all about, you know, the whole five love languages. Sean probably rolling his eyes just like thinking about me saying that book because I've made him read it. But I'm all about the words and words of affirmation. And that means that words hurt just as much too. So the words that you can say that build me up, they can also tear me down and hurt just as much. Absolutely. And that's, that was a hard part about the social media coming off the show and all of a sudden having people absolutely I mean hate me with all of their being hate me and I just couldn't

understand I mean do you still read the comments from people after going through what you went through and the and the online bullying essentially that was happening I do not as much but I still do but I have a different mindset now um where before I honestly I'm very proud of myself for um getting through all of that and coming out on top where I can now read it with a different mindset. Because I was really, like, during the middle of the show, I handled it and I knew I could deal with it and I had thick skin, but I was also depressed. Yeah.

Like, I would just lay in bed and be like, people hate me. Like, people want me to die. And now I've gotten to a point where, you know, I've weaned out those haters for the most part, but there's still, you know, your typical troll in there once in a while. But I've learned to just not take anything personally, knowing where that negativity comes from. And I actually, I'm going to try and find it within two seconds because I took a screenshot. I follow, if this is someone to follow on Instagram, is that think grow prosper. Yes. Have you seen that? Yeah. I'll get to my screenshots. And, oh, here it is. It is helpful

to remember that negative people are suffering. If it sucks being around a negative person, imagine how much it would suck being a negative person. Their unhappiness contributes to their negative mindset and I'm like every person that I read these hatred comments from I now feel sorry for them rather than feel like oh am I ugly or am I too skinny or do I should I die like no I want to just give that person a hug and be like are you okay like what's going on in your life that you have that much hatred towards me yeah and so it's I just read them differently now and that's because you've grown so much from this process and and I feel like you've put a lot of work into creating that mindset because it does take work, but that's so powerful what they're

saying, what people say about you on social media is more a reflection of how they're feeling about themselves than how they actually feel about you. And that's what I want to teach younger girls too, going through, you know, bullying at school and guys too, just that I want them to all understand where that comes from and not take it so personally. Because at that age, how do you not take it personally? You don't know any better. No. But I want to teach young kids and people going through bullying that it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with the bully. And I think on that note, this whole conversation provides such a great opportunity to remind listeners out there that you can use social media

to spread so much positivity. You can be the one out there who's the cheerleader for other people that you're seeing. People do read those messages. It does make them feel good. If you appreciate somebody, tell them, spread the positivity, spread the love. Like, we as women need to be our biggest cheerleaders. We need to start joining together rather than constantly tearing one another down. And that's one of the things that we talk about in the coaching is acknowledging other people. And it's weird because so many people find it really uncomfortable to do that because we live in a world where we're constantly underappreciating not only other people but ourselves. Yes. Oh my gosh. That's one thing. If people don't know, Aaron has been my health and wellness coach for the past, I mean, how long now?

I feel like we've been working together for six months or so. Six months where we talk on the phone and, I mean, we talk about everything from body image to what kind of foods make you feel your best self and have energy and what eating the proper foods can do for your. mental health for your physical health. We've talked about what kind of movement we can do together to help social media in general become a more positive place. Like we've talked about everything and I feel like that's one thing that I've really taken away from our sessions is that I'm so more self-aware now of how I talk to myself and how I view myself and if I do eat McDonald's,

I'm like, you know what? I worked out three times this week or I did this. And this makes me feel good in this moment. And I'm just going to take a few deep breaths while I eat it because I've learned that stress is like a major factor of weight gain. And if you're just more aware of everything when it comes to eating, when it comes to self-love, when it comes to social media, if you're just more aware and tell yourself,

I'm scrolling right now and this isn't, you know, this person has their issues too. And I need to appreciate other people's beauty without. questioning my own. I love that saying. Just being so mindful and aware of how you're talking to yourself has been something that I've really taken away from our conversations and that's made the biggest difference in my life. And you could probably ask Sean about that because I feel like I've changed in our relationship too from that. So thanks. Thank you for showing up every time we talk. I mean, this work is not easy because. No, it's really challenging. It's really, it is. It's

challenging because you have to dig deep and you're changing, you know, belief systems within yourself and habits within yourself. And with that comes a lot of discomfort. And, um, and you, you are incredible at showing up because you want so much out of life. Because you're brave. Because, um, you, we all know what the full potential is. And so, um, you know, often people think health coaching is for like people who are broken or people. Everyone who I work with are the high achievers. They're the ones who, you know, like they have this vision for themselves and they're desperate to get there. They really want to work there, but there's some sort of block that's maybe preventing them from getting there. And it's all about, you know, creating that vision and then

moving from point A to point B. And one of the, I think, the biggest things in regards to all this media stuff that we're talking about is that there's so many messages coming at us about, you know, what type of food we should be putting into our body and how we should be moving our body to have the best body. We've totally stopped listening to ourselves and stop checking in with our own body. I mean, there's billions of people out there. Everyone is built differently. Everyone needs their own system in order to function at their highest potential. So that's what we dig into is really looking at like what works for you. Okay, guys, we're going to take a quick break right here. But if you're like me, the shelf space in your bathroom, what is it? Precious real estate. Am I right? That's why I'm excited to

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That's Kapari, K-O-P-A-R-I-Beautom slash Vine for 20% off. Hey guys, it's Richard Blaze. You've seen me on Top Chef and Master Chef, and now I'm starving for attention. My new show on Podcast 1. Check out my interviews with Cutthroat Kitchens, Antonio LaFaso. and Jetteela, but that's only the beginning. We've got more on the way from actor Lou Diamond Phillips, Bazaar Foods, Andrew Zimmern, top chef host, Gail Simmons, and so many more.

So pull up a seat every Tuesday or maybe just listen in your car on podcast.com, the new podcast One app or subscribe on Apple Podcasts. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. You know what upsets me is when we think of what guys want. Yes. Because you know what guys. would be really attracted to is someone who just loves themselves and doesn't need a guy. Like, I get so mad at that like, well, guys want this and this guys would find me more

attractive if this. But like, that truck beeping in the background is really cramping my style. Cleo, go tell him to stop backing up his truck. He's ruining the moment. Ruining the moment. Maybe we can like somehow use editing skills to get rid of that. Oh, I think he's done. What was I even saying?

We're talking about men and what men really want versus what we think that they want. And who cares? Because the most attractive thing in the world is when you feel good about who you are. And that's when you're going to attract the right guy who loves you. If you're trying to be something else that you aren't, you're going to attract the wrong guy, which will end up in your own unhappy life. Like, you will be happy and find, I always say find your Sean B when you have self-love and when you are 100% true to who you are, or at least working on it. Yeah.

And loving yourself through it, through the ups and downs because that's attractive. Absolutely. And, I mean, it's challenging. You talked about sort of comments that boys make in elementary school and in high school. And the comments that they make at that point can really stick with a girl, like hearing. We like big boobs, and now the kids are dealing with porn being so accessible, which is... Just Google it. It's there.

It's there. On your iPad that you all have. Yeah. And that's defining what sex should look like, what a relationship should look like. Which is all so unrealistic. It's not, it's again, it's not real. But what I find is later on in life, men start to look for more of that real stuff. And we have to remember, you know, when you're younger, for anyone who's listening who's in their early 20s,

that stuff won't matter in the long run when a man's looking for his wife yeah there's just different things of course you want to have that attraction with your partner but they will that'll happen naturally if if they love you exactly exactly and if there's men out there who are listening are can people make comments probably not they've they've checked out a long time ago okay never mind they heard that we ladies yeah they're like uh five minutes, I'm out. They're like, raw beauty what? And for that reason, I'm out.

But if there are, but Sean will be listening. Sean, Sean, Sean's amazing. I don't need to tell Sean anything. No, you don't. He already knows. He already knows. But what, if there are men listening, go on. Go on.

It's just so important to remember that all of, that women are already receiving so many messages telling them to look a certain way. and in whatever way you can help reinforce that those things, you know, aren't what's the most important. I do. We would greatly appreciate it. Yeah. Thanks to guys out there. Thanks, Sean, and whoever your one friend is that you're making listen.

I wonder how many guys listen. I actually got such a sweet email from a guy saying that he listened and that it made him laugh. And it was really sweet. I wish I remembered his name right now because it was. so sweet. Oh, I'll bring it up in another podcast because I want to give him a shout out. Yeah. We love men. But I just love because I do feel like I have a lot of listeners in their 20s and I just want to be like there for them. Like I'm so appreciative of these loyal listeners that I have. And if I can, you know, help them in any way, I feel like that's the

reason I'm doing this podcast. So even if it means I'm making them laugh or we're talking real talk, I, you know, I'm showing you that, you know, you can be funny. And, and also smart. You can. I can get deep. You are. Yo. And on that note,

as she takes another simple for watching. I was just going to say on that. But I was going to say maybe because we have so many younger listeners and even if they're not, it can still help. We can talk about tips that we can offer girls who want to build their self-esteem or just feel better in their own body. Yes. Let's dive into that.

I think one of the very first things that I would recommend is that. doing a social media detox. Which I did. What did you think? Oh, remember we had talked to it and I'd be like, this is absolutely life changing. Because again, you're, okay, so what is a social media detox? You're basically going to go through your social media pages and you're going to unfollow accounts that you find actually aren't contributing to your well-being. So if there's an account that you're looking at that ends up making you feel like you're not enough, like you need to go shopping all the time, like your body is terrible, unfollow, delete, remove, and then start following people who are inspiring, who are uplifting, who are going to make you feel motivated, who are going to give

you tips, tricks, resources that are going to build you up. We've got a few here. So I Am Her tribe has beautiful words and saying. She's just really real. Healthy is the new skinny. Jenna Coutcher, of course, follow on at Raw Beauty Talks. Yes. Follow at Raw Beauty Talks because we'll talk about something we're going to start later in the podcast in like 10 minutes. But keep going. No, I mean, that's what a social media detox is. And really, it's just about controlling the information that you're reading and the things that you're seeing so that it's building you up so that it's making you into the best version of yourself versus tearing yourself down every day. Like, why would we do that? Why do we, why do we choose to look at that stuff? And it's, I always say it's like you know you're doing it too, so why not switch gears and be like, I'm going to do something that makes me feel good

and I'm going to follow accounts that make me feel like my better self rather than comparing. And maybe the ones that you do compare, maybe if they're your friends or people who you are finding yourself comparing them to, but you like them, maybe try and take a different approach at looking at it and appreciating what they're doing. And my girlfriend, Bree, always says, good for her, not for me. Right. I love that. just so good because it's like you know what good for her she looks balm and like I don't care if

those are hair extensions and a little bit edited like you look bomb not for me though yeah or appreciate another woman's beauty and it doesn't mean that you're not beautiful yourself there's a quote and I didn't just say it properly I said it along those lines I said it earlier yeah um appreciate others beauty without questioning your own perfect there you go absolutely I'm like yeah I've said it like 20 times to myself today. I keep reiterating that one. Keep saying it. Keep saying it. Oh, good. So, yeah, social media detox. That's a big one. The other thing is starting to tune into your body as well. So shutting out, you know, there's, again, as I said, there's so much information there about what you should be doing. And you really need to start listening to what your own body is telling you. What foods make

you feel good, energized, lighter after you eat them. foods are making your stomach hurt and you feel like you have to take a nap afterwards. Those aren't reacting properly with your body. People don't realize what food does. People do not realize until you've found the right system for yourself, how good it can actually make you feel in your own skin. Like, and that doesn't mean not having the McDonald's once in a while. And that doesn't mean not having a bag of chips or eating the thing of ice cream when you're on your period. Yeah. No, it doesn't. Do it. Feel good about it. And then get back on track.

Yes. Balance is so key. And it makes it sustainable is the big thing so that we're not always on this roller coaster ride of dieting, not dieting. And when we turn our motivation away from it just being about weight loss or putting on weight in a certain place, that's when we can really tune into things. And it's actually when you start to notice the most change in your body. And I know this from experience only because I've always said, I want a flatter stomach

in a bigger butt. That's always my thing. And once I started just like not feeling guilty about certain things and enjoying my wine, but also having a good workout and not focusing on certain points and actually just like thinking about my overall health, I've appreciated my body more. And I think it's just changed the way I even look at myself in general, which, because I'm like, I really do feel like I've got the balance thing figured out. You're killing it. I'm killing the balance game. You're killing it. You're killing it.

Yeah. Killing the balance game. And I feel like that has a lot to do with all the conversations that we've had and really, again, being mindful and not focusing so much on what we need to change or what, you know, what we think needs. It's actually just being overall a healthier person mentally, physically, and then appreciating your body more. And I have sticky notes on my mirror.

And one says, once you get the inside right, the outside will fall into play. It's totally true. And it is 100% true. I swear when you're inside is feeling good, when you're eating right, when you're doing movement, that's not just like prescribed. You have to be in the gym 24-7. You get this glow. I'm not even kidding. Your hair's healthy or your skin's healthy.

Your body changes. Let me tell you. I know this from experience. During and after the show, I put on 10 pounds. I lost hair. I had adult acne. I was depressed. And right now in my life, I feel like my hair has never been thicker.

My skin's never glowed more. I'm 32. I feel like I'm feeling the best in my body I've ever felt. And it's because I'm more self-aware. I'm talking nicer to myself. And I'm appreciating things more. And I just have switched my mindset, which I still obviously struggle with other things. And I'm still working on things.

But just my focus has changed. And I feel like I'm already usually like a pretty bubbly, happy person. But I feel like truly like. inner like happiness right now oh that makes me so happy myself i mean it could be the rosé talking but not just kidding it's a beautiful sunny day here as well yeah it's the vitamin d and the rosé no but you do seem like just us the same person but just slightly different you're just yeah you're on the right track really is what it comes in the right track okay you know what i'm in the mood for right now well other than wine i guess i got plenty of wine well i i i

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There's no excuse not to try it. And the best part of it all is that they made a bar just for me. It's called the Bristow bar because, duh, I came up with it. Seriously, they asked me what kind of bar I wanted to make and I was Willy Wonka or something. I don't know. It was like a bar of their milk chocolate with chewy caramel bits inside. package. Yeah, it has my face on it. And right now, I want to send you one. Use coupon code Vine for a free Bristow bar for your free Bristow Bar order at eating evolved.com with coupon code

Vine, V-I-N-E. So if people are wondering like how the hell do I start to listen to my body, what the heck does that even mean? There is a tool on our website. It's called a mind-body soul scan. It's like two minutes and it really just walks you through checking in, with each part of your body. And usually when people do this, they're like, wow, I am so thirsty or I am exhausted. And it just allows you to check in with what your body's telling you. After you've done the mind-body soul scan, you want to just think about what is the first thought that came to mind, what was the first request that my body had from me?

And then listen to that. Actually, follow through with it. Get the water. Take a little nap as you can. Put your damn phone down. take a couple minutes out of your eight hours of scrolling and actually check in with your body and your mind because okay hi i'm telling you right now stop scrolling do something good for yourself and in those two minutes you will feel better about yourself just from checking it way better

way better and the results just kind of move on top of one another and things start rolling in the right direction. Exactly. Should we talk about RealStagram? Yes. Let's get the people involved. Yes. This is another way that you can kind of step into your self-esteem and your self-confidence

is being a little vulnerable. I have seen so many beautiful faces pop up on tagged photos of me from the Realstagram post and from using hashtag Realstagram. And we want you to start using other hashtags and tagging us posting my Realstagram photo. was, like I said, I was being vulnerable, not my favorite thing to be, but I also love a good challenge. And when I posted it, I was like, oh, man, I mean, people probably thought my skin was so good and I'm about to post this. And then everyone's like, oh, your skin looks great. I'm like, that was my self-negative voice telling me that my skin wasn't good. Oh, my gosh.

And I just saw such a positive outcome and so much feedback from people that it inspired me to keep it going and do another one. And so let's talk about the upcoming campaign that we're going to do. It's so amazing that you're doing that. I can't honestly. It's, um, it's just so refreshing to see somebody do that. And I want to acknowledge the fact that it is really hard. So kudos to you. It shouldn't be, but it is. It is. Um, so what we want to do is to challenge everyone who's listening, um, out there to do their own real Instagram posts. So post a photo without makeup, editing or filters and maybe share a little bit of your background or something that happens behind the scenes that you wouldn't normally share tag at Caitlin Bristow, tag at Raw Beauty

Talks and the hashtag RealStagram. We're going to be sharing them every Monday on our Instagram stories. So make sure you're following at Rob Beauty Talks because A, it's inspiring and just such a positive. It's one of those feeds I follow where I'm like, oh, I needed that. Oh, thank you. I needed that. And then it just switches kind of your mindset of scrolling. Once you see that, you're like, oh, I needed that little reminder. And then you can keep going on your eight hours. Totally. Carry on. Carry on afterwards. I'm like, God, that's ridiculous. But yes. Yeah. So that's, I mean, it's pretty simple. Just, we just want to see more real coming in on the Instagram feeds. And we would love your help with that. The real Instagram

campaign is leading up to a crowd fund that we're doing for this incredible program, started by a woman name Renee Regear. It's called Free to Be. It's for youth in grade 6 to 8, and it's a positive body image and media literacy program. So important. And so we're raising funds to help get the next round of kids through the program and so that we can expand it throughout North America. And that's all launching August 8th. And if I need to reiterate this, it's the people are more afraid of getting fat. Young women are more afraid of getting fat than death in their family, cancer. So we need to do something and raise money and raise awareness and put on these programs and have these conversations to really start making a difference because it's the same thing with like

when you do fundraisers for cancer and you know getting money for research and and making a difference this is just as important it's really really important it's I mean mental health we know is so many people now and and when you're struggling with mental health or when you're struggling with low self-esteem, you're not living fully. Right. And that's what, I mean, what I really want to see and what I know you want to see as well is girls who are feeling confident and empowered and who are using their strengths and who are team together so that life is good. Life is too short to be. I mean, I do feel like women are starting to come together a little more. Yes. And, you know, women have come a long way. But it's just, I want to share this quick story before. I'm going to see if we have time to do some questions from listeners, but my niece, I told you this on our call the other day, but I want to share with everybody. My sister found a video of my niece and her phone that she had made, and she, one day, this is a while back, I went to take her to school, and I picked out this really cute denim onesie for her to wear, and she started crying, and she's 10, and she said, I don't want to wear that. girls laugh at me when I wear this outfit and I, I mean, what I really wanted to do was

march down to her school and give a piece of my mind. But I was like, you know what? Sometimes girls aren't going to like what you wear and it only matters what you think of your outfit. What do you think of your outfit? And she's like, well, I saw you had an outfit like it. So I went and put on my denim onesie. And I was like, I love your outfit. And if you love your outfit, that's all that matters. And so she went to school in it. And I was just, I mean, I bowled my eyes. after I dropped her off. So my sister found a video in her phone the other day of my niece, and she stood up on the bathtub in the mirror, and she put on record, and she goes,

okay, so today I'm going to be talking about, and she got up on the tub, and she goes, it doesn't matter what other people think, or if other people want to say mean things. It only matters what you and your auntie thinks. Yes. And she goes, or whoever your guardian is, who you love. oh i love little girls who are empowered i was like so awesome i've never been more proud of her and she was just said it with passion and she was just like and that's all i have to say and she shut off the camera and i was just like oh please stay like that forever forever please and i just hope

we can have that impact on on so many other girls because i mean that was just a moment for me i'm like that it's just precious in every way it's inspiring it's so cool so inspiring. I'm just going to see if there's any, um, I did this kind of last minute. So, um, I told people to use the hashtag raw beauty. Oh, here we go. We got a couple of questions. Nope, I'm not going to read that one. Actually, you know what I am. And I'm going to address something. Okay. I'm going to go there. Um, Aaron Elizabeth asked, why do people try to deny and hide work that they've had done? Botox. Just own it. If it makes you feel better. I do own it. I, I, I get Botox in my forehead, and I have since I was 25.

Yeah. And it was something that I don't know why, but at the age of 20, I started getting very heavy lines in my forehead. And my girlfriend, Jess, who is so against Botox or like, she loves aging, like naturally. She's so confident and I just love her for it. She even said to me, I understand why you got that because it happened for me at such a young age that I just, it's something that I wanted to do. And I don't think Botox is a negative thing. I think it's a personal preference. And I don't think we should be preaching it to young girls or go get this to look prettier.

But if you're an adult and you're in your 20s or 25 or going on 30 and you feel like a little Botox in the forehead makes you feel good, then girl, you do it. Everyone's going to do what they need to do with their body ultimately at the end of the day. We color our hair, guys color their hair, guys work out at the gym, little Botox in the forehead, never heard anybody. And I love that you're real about it and honest, because the girl who spoke out, there are a lot of people who pretend like they don't have it. And then again, we're creating this false image of what can realistically happen without the help of things like that.

And so it's, it is great too that you can just be real about it. And I do love because Sean says like, but I want to grow old with you. I'm like, just because I get Botox. doesn't mean I'm not going to grow old. Like there is no denying that my skin is going to sag soon. You're like, it's coming. I'm not going to go under the knife and like, you know, be like, oh, I just got excited about that one.

And like, but change my face. Yeah. Yeah. I just get a couple pokes in the old forehead. Yeah. And anybody who's just a couple. Just a couple. Just a couple.

Anyone who's not talking about it. It's just because they're not feeling secure about their own decision to do it. I really don't think it's. a bad thing. I also don't want to preach it like people should do it. It's a personal preference for me. Whatever's right for you. And that's that. Okay. Who is you, Jennifer, oh, dang, I hate when I can't pronounce last names. Jennifer Weishan, what? Sure. Who is your greatest inspiration when it comes to raw beauty? Oh, that's a good question. I mean, I have a little bit of a girl crush right now on Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop and everything that they're about.

which is all beauty from the inside out. So very aligned with what I talk about as well. And it's really just taking care of your body through the foods that you're eating. Again, McDonald's can be included in that every once in a while, the way that you're moving, mindfulness activities, the thoughts that you're having. And she's just, I think, an amazing representation of that. That's cool. I actually really appreciate her too, especially for being in the public eye like she is.

Yeah. Okay, I'm just going to ask one more. Oh, and Jenna Coocher is also. Oh, she's amazing. Yes. She's amazing. I think she's friends with one of the old Dez from the Bachelorette a while ago. I've seen her do some photos with her, but she is very inspiring.

I follow her too, and I appreciate everything she posts and stands for. Yes. Very cool. Okay. You know what? It's the same girl, but I actually like this question. What are three things that you love about yourself? I'm asking you that question.

She's asking you. She said, actually, she said both of y'all. Sucker. We'll get Cleo in on this too. Cleo, what are three things you love about yourself? See? Your positivity. You are very positive.

Um, I know. I hate it. It shouldn't be this hard. I honestly don't think it's hard. I think people have a hard time saying it because you feel like you're doing something like you're supposed to be quiet about those things. Right.

No, preach it. What do you love about yourself? you are very positive my ambition you have great you yes your ambition and my love for people yes yeah amen your love for people we love that too it is so um infectious infectious i cannot help but be in a good mood around cleo no i know and she does just she sees the best in every single person she you really are a positive person god is this turning into the feel good circle. I love it. Next, Erin, what do you love about yourself? Oh, I love that I really do care about people. I love my drive and I think I'm smart. You are smart. Which sounds so weird

to say, but I'm just going to know it doesn't. What? The most nurturing person. The most nurturing person as well. You are very nurturing. Being a mom. Yeah. Yeah, but I just, I care about I think that's just in you. Okay, I'll go. You please. I love my sense of humor because I think I'm very witty and I think it takes an intelligent person to have a sense of humor so that will go hand in hand honestly it does you have to be so smart to be witty I thank you for your honesty I love oh wait I got you know I just have so many that I'm just kidding see I just made Aaron loser headphones again um i love my um commitment to people like if you're my friend i will do anything for you if you are my fiance if you're sean i would i just you are my person if you're my family i feel like even from going on the show and now coming off a show like that people come out of the woodworks

and i really appreciate my friendships and i feel like i'm good at um appreciating the people i have in my life. Yeah. Loyal, yes. Loyal. And then I would say I love the voice that I have and being able to help other people, even if it's women or like working with charities or having that platform. Is that something I love about me or is that something I have? You've created that for yourself. And I think, yeah. And I think you're, I think a lot of people, could be in your position right now and not be giving two craps about that kind of stuff. I just sat here and I was like, Cleo, hurry up, say stuff. It's so easy. And then I got to me and I'm like, wait, I feel really weird saying this. But I do, I enjoy how I can, how I can help and make others feel.

Mm-hmm. You're so real. Like a couple of the guys from the season had said, like, you know what? You surprised me because you made us all feel very comfortable. And I like that quality about myself. It's an amazing quality. God, what a, what a great note to end. podcast on. I feel like we're all on a high right now. Totally. Rose and life highs. Rose and a love session. Cheers to that. Cheers.

Cheers. We're drinking out of Red Solo Cups and I ain't mad. So Canadian. I am mad. So Canadian of us. I'm so just, that was one of my favorite podcasts just because it is nice to be able to go there and talk about things that could inspire people. And I mean, nine times out of ten, I'm going to just try and make you laugh on my podcast.

But I love to go there sometimes and make an impact. And I think you've done that for our listeners today. So thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. You are such an inspiration. And again, follow at Rob Beauty Talks. They also, you have a website, Robbeautitogs.com. Where else can people find you?

Is that what else do you want people to know? Those are the two main things. We also have a Facebook tribe that is all about. we have health and wellness experts that come in there to share resources and tips and tricks on ways that you can feel the best in your body and then maybe we'll link to a free download that's called the practice 21 ways to build self-love and that's something that people can download and kind of go through the different steps and I want everybody to do this and do the body scan that you have and what is it yeah the mind body soul scan give us your feedback

Tell us how it made you feel when you take those couple minutes out of your scrolling and do something for yourself and tweet us or, again, use the hashtag RealStagram. And any way you want to get a hold of us, you want to tell us these stories, do it. We love the hearing. We love it. And also, if you don't want to miss an episode of Off the Vine, which you don't, go to podcast.1.com, download the podcast one app. subscribe to Apple Podcasts, leave your rating and review. I read all of them. They make my heart happy because there's really no trolls on there. And even if there is, I'm like, whatever I've made it. My podcast has made it. I've got haters. Yeah. Bring it. But really, thank you.

This is so great. And give us all of your feedback. And I will see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Download or listen to new episodes every Tuesday on the Podcast One app or subscribe on Apple Podcasts or at podcast.com. And don't forget to rate, review, and share. Thanks for tuning in, and when you're looking to buy a car, you want to make sure that you're getting real pricing on actual inventory. Unfortunately, a lot of times this is not the case. People configure a car is online only later to find out that they're not available.

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