Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Feel Good In Your Body with Erin Treloar

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

TW: Eating Disorders, Body Dysmorphia Kaitlyn is joined by good friend, health coach, and founder of @RawBeautyTalks, Erin Treloar. Having overcome her own battle with an eating disorder, Erin's passion and life purpose is centered around helping other women feel good in their bodies. Whether or not you struggle with body image, this episode is a great reminder to be mindful of the comments you make, both to others and yourself. Your mind is a powerful tool. Plus, Erin shares valuable tips on intuitive eating, managing emotional eating, and handling cravings without resorting to restriction. Listen in for some inspiration to take that next step toward living your best life! (Apologies for the sound quality, the mics did not work.) “Whatever dreams you have, however you want to feel in your body, it is 1000% accessible. You just gotta believe in yourself enough to take the first step.” - Erin Treloar Helpful links from today’s episode: “55 Ways to Feel Good in Your Body (without the diet) ” Guide Join the Food & Body Freedom Program  Book a Discovery Call with Erin  Help Out with Free to Be: A nonprofit media lite racy and healthy body image program for youth in grades 4 to 9. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: HATCH: Get $20 off your purchase of the Hatch Restore and free shipping at Hatch.co/OTV.  QUINCE: Go to Quince.com/vine for free shipp ing on your order and 365-day returns. SKIMS: SKIMS Bras are now available at SKIMS.com . Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75! PELOTON: Head to OnePeloton.com/deals for Peloton’s best offer of the season. All access membership separate. Terms apply. PROGRESSIVE: Get a quote today at Progressive.com . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. Grab a coffee and discover nonstop action with Bud MGM Casino.

Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of one with multi-drop. Once even more options. Play our wide variety of table games. Or head over to the arcade for nostalgic casino thrills only available at BetMGM. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor, free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. All the fine. We went to practice club after our event. I know. And I have a bone to pick with cactus club.

Oh, please. Why did they get rid of their spicy chicken and replace it with a Nashville hot chicken? We are in Nashville. I want my go-to basic bitch spicy chicken. from Cactus Club. I was into the new hot chicken with the pickles. I'm not going to lie. I was so hungry after the event

because I was a little nervous before so I was not hungry. And then when the nerves left, it was like hunger. Hungry, yeah. I can't think about food right now because I ate Poutine for breakfast. I had a

I had A&W, but I had a Beyond Meat burger and Poutine and fries and a root beer. And that's why I told you to not go in the bathroom this morning. And that's also why she doesn't want to be in her body right now. Also why I don't want to be in my body? Why do we do that?

I thought there's the same cold. Intuitive eating that we did. Yeah, but intuitive eating doesn't mean you just fill yourself up with a bunch. Like, you can eat what you ate, but then you notice how it feels in your body. It doesn't feel that. Right. And so then next time maybe you just like drink half the root beer and order everything else. And then you're like, oh, it's the root beer that did.

for me. I don't think it matters about the root beer. I think it was the cheese curds. The cheese curd, the espresso martini last night, the tequila, espresso martini. The hot chicken. And then champagne. I finished the night of champagne. Yeah. I mean, all of these things are so good in the moment. And then we should go to do the little check-ins and notice how we feel in our body. We're trying to work on being on the same team as our body. Let's talk about that for a second. How come in the moment it's so good? Is it like an addiction thing? Like, what is it that is so good in that moment, knowing it'll make you feel like crap after? Well, it is, it's just pleasurable in the moment.

Like, it is activating our taste buds. We're getting the good hormone reaction from it. It's, like, salty and sweet and fun to have alcohol and all of these things. Like, it truly is pleasurable in the moment. It's just that we're getting that short-term pleasure hit and the long-term pain. And sometimes we need to, like, choose the short-term painful object, which is maybe, like, passing on some of those things in order to have. the long-term pleasure. Not all the time. See, okay, sometimes. I should, I should say most the time I am good at doing that, but when I'm traveling, which is all the time, traveling and

like a bit hungover, my intuitive eating just definitely goes down the toilet. But that's part of intuitive eating is that it's not robotic and it's not going to be this recipe where you're eating exactly what you ate at home when you're on the road because that's not life. Right. but is it maybe just noticing a little bit on the at the times when you are traveling more okay I know I want to be able to have a few more drinks and I know I'm going to be eating out more restaurants but like can I maybe have a more balanced breakfast if I'm going out and really going for it at night that's true yeah because I'll break in the neck and I can't go out there's always something that's the problem and a lot of people can relate to that

it's like there's always something that's getting in the way or getting in between you and your because then I was also like sober January and I'm like well I got the golden bachelor wedding I got to get drunk of Gary Gary I went to whose wedding was it you look that pigeon going in the hot tub wait what was I say well we were talking about drinking in January and then you had a little ADHD moment and just totally spiral to see the pigeon I don't know going into the hot tub how have I never self-diagnosed myself with ADD until like the last week I sent it my assistant. I go, man, do you think I have ADD? She goes, yes. And then she immediately put me on a text chain with a psychiatrist. And then I was like, okay, January 2nd, see you in the office.

I mean, 24. Could be the year. And nothing will change really if you get that diagnosis. Like, it's, it's just more information to work with and to understand yourself. Oh, I have the information. I didn't really know it now. I looked up ADD last night and I got distracted and ordered late-night Well, I think I was telling you that I have an ADHD assessment with a psychiatrist in Vancouver. And it's so frustrating trying to get these appointments because in order to get the appointment, they require you to fill out all these forms. But if you have ADHD, filling out forms is kryptonite. Yeah.

And so it took me like six months to fill out the forms and hand them in. And then they're calling you. And I never check my voicemails. And I don't answer unknown numbers. So they can't reach me any way to book this appointment. Anyways, it took like a flippin' year to get this appointment, and I'm probably going to miss it. Like the likelihood of that would be on brand for you. Well, they put me on medicine.

I mean, there are medications, and apparently what I've heard is that there are more medications now that are way better than what they were giving kids in the 80s. But then still a lot of people who have ADHD or ADHD have anxiety, have anxiety. And so an ADHD medication, as far as I know, is a stimulant. So it can increase anxiety. So a lot of people decide just to, like, forego the medication. I've tried Adderall before, and some people use that as, like, a recreational thing. I don't know how you do. I don't know how they do it.

Don't do it. It's actually scary, though, the amount of, what's the drug called that's in cocaine that people are, like, actually dying? Oh, fentanyl. Yeah. I'm so scared to my niece or nephew that are going to, like, try drugs. I know. Just because kids do that these days, those days. I did it and I'm so scared for them like it's such a I don't even anxiety with kids must be on

another level it isn't it isn't I think a lot of people have really bad anxiety around their kids but like intrusive thoughts I think the thing with anxiety is like yes I had very bad postpartum anxiety but the anxiety wasn't focused on something happening to my kids it was about other things so like you can get an intrusive thought loop surrounding anything really and I think when you have kids, you're maybe sleeping less and spread really thin. At times, there's huge hormonal fluctuations, and so you're much more susceptible to getting stuck in those thought patterns and loops. I honestly feel like right now, it doesn't matter whether you're a parent or you're just a human existing in the world. You're susceptible to anxiety. There's so much going on. And, yeah,

there are a lot of anxiety-provocative face out there. We've had a lot of experiences with people attacking you. Attacking you for not even saying the wrong thing, but just existing. Existing. Your choices around, I mean, everything. Yeah. What do you feel like was the hardest moment when it felt like you were being attacked? Online?

Yeah. Like out of all of my eight years of getting attacked? Yes. Like out of coming out of The Bachelor, breakups, fashion, like getting your lips done. Oh, like all of that kind of stuff. Oh, I would say for sure my appearance is the number one thing I get bullied for. Which is wild. People tell me my face is fucking up.

Yeah. And I can tell myself as many times as I want that hurt people, hurt people. And she's just hurting. Like, I know that. Yeah. It still makes me go. I'm like, is my video? Because I get bullied for my appearance all the time.

Yeah. So when you read that, what is the initial reaction that comes up for you? When you feel sad for her. You do. You feel sad for her. And then is there a thought afterwards? Like, it's my face. Yes.

It is. My first thought is part of me wants my followers to go after her and be like, they're like my army. And then part of me is like, actually, let's all just say a little part of her. Like she's unwell. Yeah. Yeah. But then my brain immediately goes to, oh my God, what are they going to say in like 10 years

when I've aged and I don't look the same? And I'm like my brain starts going, you smile about like the right things in the world, I spiral about like, what am I going to look like what I'm 50? I spiral about that, though, too. Yeah, I for sure have moments like that. And you spiral about a lot of the, there's not right or wrong things to spiral about, you know? But what's so crazy to me is that there's still so much appearance-based commenting. And this is a real, this is when where everyone would be like, oh my God, like what, how could you

possibly say something like that to somebody and that's so mean? but if we're being honest right now everybody who's listening and we really stop and think about it there's likely been a time even in the last two weeks when you have commented on somebody's appearance either positively or negatively and it's not i'm not saying that this is a bad thing and that it's not human or anything but it is kind of interesting to reflect on how much we comment on and emphasize especially women's appearance whether we're like oh she looked so amazing in that or oh, she looked not so amazing in that. Like, it is just something that we naturally comment on all the time. Do you think that's something that we should stop doing? I think it's really

hard to stop doing it. I don't know if it's just being more aware of it. I think being more aware of it is really where it comes. It's such a hard thing too because it's like, like you said, it could be good and bad, but like I'm like, you look amazing. Are you? Me too. Me too. So it's like hard to, I don't want to overthink that. Yeah. I don't think we have to overthink it, but it is just, just even spend the next week noticing, especially, you know, as we're heading into this season, how often you are commenting on or thinking about somebody else's appearance. Or even if you're driving in the car and you notice somebody, are you saying it out loud in front of your kids or to a friend who's with you?

And then what is the benefit of saying that? How does it help us? How does it hurt us? And just noticing if there's an opportunity to shift away from that a little bit. And here's the thing. I can guarantee when you do that towards other people, it will shift the narrative as to how you speak about yourself as well. That's such a good point.

I have gotten so good at how I speak to myself, though. Yes. I mean, I'm not perfect, but I have gotten so good. It's actually amazing. Good. I love that. Tone it down, Caitlin. No, never tone it down.

What changes on the outside when you are speaking to yourself more kindly? Oh my gosh. I just don't pick myself apart the way I used to. I would literally stand in a mirror and pick myself apart and find anything that I could and like if I worked on one thing and I fixed it then I'd be like hey what's next yeah and that's I would never do that sometimes I'll hold like if I like right now after I eating all the A and W I used to pinch it and be like really mad at that and now I go that's so cute or I'm like or I'm like thank you for protecting my uterus like I say I try to say like really

positive it's so crazy like just I've been doing it for probably five years I would say like working on it consciously. It takes time. It changed my life. Yeah. It does. Yeah. It does.

And it's everyone wants that big change, but it's all about those microchips. It's all about the microchips. It's all about the little changes. And I don't know when this episode will air, but as we head into January, there's often this huge shift of energy. Like, I'm going to start working out five days a week and I'm going to eat only these things and I'm going to cut out all out completely. And it just doesn't work to make changes like that. And then you just get disappointed in yourself. Yes.

Then you feel like you're a failure. Yeah. No, you're just trying to make too big of a leap in the changes that you're making in your life. You need to start smaller, make manageable changes. And then once you've nailed that, then keep them adding on to it. Yeah, because imagine where you can be in five years, if you start talking positively to yourself now today, and be more aware of how we're commenting on people's appearance. I think that's really important.

I'm going to start really being aware of it. Let's go back and talk about how you got started into your world and what exactly you do because I'm sure a lot of people know, but if there's any new people listening, let's just revisit that. I struggled with an eating disorder in high school. I was diagnosed as anorexic and then went through a good stint four or five years of binge eating. And binge eating is so interesting because I didn't realize this actually until a few months ago, but it's the number one most common eating disorder. Benjating?

Benj eating. emotional eating binge eating we all know like anorexia restricting we all have an idea of what that is but binge eating is a feeling where you lose control around food it's like you kind of black out and you're eating all this food and it feels like you can't stop have you ever experienced that I don't know because I feel like I have but then I'm like I don't I don't know if that's just being a human being like getting the munchies or something different a little bit different Same. Like, this is the thing. It's not, there's a bit of gray area. It's not black and white, right? Most people have probably, you know, if you or somebody who drank, especially in your 20s, like when we would go and get all the chips and stuff like that after drinking and just eat and eat and eat all this food that probably we were telling ourselves we shouldn't have during the day. That's kind of binging, but binging is going to be more consistent. You know, it really starts to have an impact on your life. It really starts to impact yourself esteem. You feel so guilty and, like, you're, you're, the only one you can't figure out how to be disciplined around food.

So it has a really lasting impact. Then we have emotional eating or overeating. And that's when you're eating to help yourself cope with emotions that you're feeling. The interesting thing about emotional eating is that we can eat to help us cope with difficult emotions. Like we're sad or we're angry or we're bored or anxious. Or also some people emotionally eat when they're happy. Like they feel excited more when I'm happy. Okay. So, and you want to celebrate like you're, you know, in Vancouver, you're with a bunch of friends, that type of thing.

Yeah. The thing with emotional eating is that it's not bad and we all do it to some extent. But really, if we want to be optimizing our health and really getting on the same team as our body and aligning with our best self and like maxing out on the best energy, we primarily want to be eating for fuel, not for emotional support. So if we're only eating for emotional support, then our body might get, too much food or too little food, all based on where our emotional capacity or state is at. Like I was saying with the event yesterday, I was a little bit nervous, so I didn't have the appetite for a big lunch or dinner. I still ate because I know, like, I've got to have food in my body and in my system if I want to think properly. But if I was every day just going off the whims of my emotions and how I was feeling, then my body wouldn't be getting what it needed. Now, did you learn that from, like, was there a rock bottom moment in high school or whenever it was for you that you realized like this is a really bad problem and then that started your

journey towards wellness the anorexia portion of things i was in denial that i was anorexic i thought i was just healthy eating healthy and i was comparing myself a lot to my younger sister who were our whole family is long and lean she was really tiny and so i was like you know she's smaller than me. So why would I have to be eating more? Everyone's focused on me. And I don't have a problem. I just want to be healthy. I'm just eating healthy. I'm just cutting up fats. I'm just kind of tracking my calories. And my mom was giving me inside. I like, this is something's not right here. And so, you know, it got really bad. I was down to a very scary weight, lost my period, had to start dropping out of classes. You know, definitely a rock bottom moment. Went into the hospital. It was there for three

months in an inpatient program. And when I came out, I was at a healthier weight, but I still was struggling with food. Like, nobody teaches you how to intuitively eat in the hospital. They're like, here's your meal plan and follow it. Then found myself in a place where I was eating consistently, but like still had good foods and bad foods and really trying to eat clean during the day. And then I would find myself binging at night. And that was like three or four years. This is all while we're at Earls, working at Earls, I'm going to BCIT for school. And the interesting thing about binge eating is that it's a lot more invisible than anorexia can be or just disordered eating in that I wasn't gaining a lot of weight, but I wasn't losing weight. But I felt so disconnected for my

body and my self-esteem was shattered. And I was still thinking about food and my body all the time. Which if you are somebody listening right now and you're like, oh my gosh, this sounds so familiar, all of that mental space that you are spending on food and your body is taking away from your capacity to show up in other areas of your life. Yeah. So, like, what gets me excited about this conversation is that it's not just about helping people eat better. I don't really care about that at the end of the day.

What I care about is people, women in particular, being able to tap into wellness, well-being, and their best version of themselves in all the areas of their life. their career, their relationships, their family, able to show up and do what they're passionate about and able to create that dream life that they want to live. But we get so mixed up believing that what it is that we want will be available when our body is a certain size. Yeah. It's a pathway that is poisonous and it leads to total self-destruction. Well, I still do it. As much as I like will slap my own butt in the mirror and be like, you look good. I find myself then, of course, scrolling and comparing my body to, like, Kim Kardashian, and, like, I just saw a picture of her, she looks

fucking great. And I'm like, oh, maybe I should embrace my hips more. Maybe I need to just do this. Like, but I'll catch myself so fast. Right. But I still, like, I find myself comparing myself to other women and their bodies and their appearance all the time. I just snap out of it faster now, but I still do it.

Yeah. Do you think that's just, like, like, with you, how long have you been on this journey? well like 20 years now when I first went into the hospital so it's been a long time but I still compare myself it's interesting though hearing you say that because it's less about the way that I look and it's more about my career and like where I'm at in my career as I'm talking through this and like I wonder if we tend to compare ourselves with others where we identify our strengths the most so it's like if you value yourself heavily on your appearance then you may be more apt to compare yourself to people's appearance. If you value yourself in regards to the work

that you're doing, are you more likely to compare yourself in that avenue? I don't know. Either way, it's a trap though. Yeah. Either way. I always say that there's no like destination to being healed. You don't just arrive and go, okay, I'm healed. So do you think it's just something we need to kind of have compassion with ourselves for to still say it's okay to like spiral and it's okay to have these thoughts like it's just always going to be that way but let's focus on getting better I mean I think what you said was so powerful where you're like I still find myself comparing in moments I still notice that but I'm so much faster to get out of it so you're more resilient to those thoughts now it doesn't cause you to spiral as deep and you might have a moment when you're more

vulnerable. Like maybe you've consumed a lot of alcohol and you're tired and you're triggered by something you see on social media and then the next image is a girl and that could leave you in a really vulnerable space to those thoughts. So a lot of the work that I'm doing with women is identifying, you know, how do you get in that space, mind, body, soul where you're less vulnerable to being so heavily triggered by something. But then it's also looking at just like, how are we more resilient? So it's going to happen. we're humans. We're going to have moments of comparison. We're going to have moments of jealousy. But how do you get to the point where it doesn't throw you off all weekend or ruin your entire day or stop you from moving forward in your own life?

Yes. Now, what do you think some tools are that people can do to not get in that position in the first place or to get out of it if you're in it? Okay. So this is going to be so different for every individual. And I really believe each of us are so different. in our stories, the history that we're bringing to the table, and what our bodies need. There's no one size fits all. There's no formula that fits everyone. It's about starting to identify when do you feel like you are your strongest self? When do you feel like your energy is highest? So for me, I know that when I'm moving my body, yes, I feel physically stronger, but I really do it now because I feel mentally stronger. I feel mentally stronger when I am moving my body. And right now, that looks like three days a week. So I'm not talking about seven days a week or anything like that. I know

that I am less vulnerable to those types of thoughts when my nervous system is regulated. So if I'm doing cold showers in the morning, if I'm being mindful of my coffee intake, mindful of my alcohol intake, all of that stuff, I'm able to, I'm more regulated. So I just see the world differently. When you're walking around in a highly unregulated space in fight, flight fear, you're looking at everything as if it is a threat. Yeah. And so everything's going to be so much more heightened. So think about what are those things that help you feel grounded, that help you feel mentally strong. And it usually comes back to the basics, drinking water, moving your body, time and nature, connecting with good friends, getting enough sleep. It's so funny because these are age-old practices.

There's wellness. There's always fads out there of like, you know, drink your green juice and you do this. 75 hard and like but it's usually just a scam it's like what grandma taught us you know yeah lucky I know one of my grandma smoked two packs a day and drank scotch and no veggies so Nana oh less maybe not that plan how old was she she was 94 when she passed away well and she was a beauty I think her insides must have been pickled but she was just a beauty my other grandma was the complete opposite Really? Yeah. Yeah.

That's so funny. But that just goes to show right there how different everybody's bodies are. Like, no. On my podcast, I interviewed somebody named Gladys McGarry, who's like the doctor of holistic medicine. She was 103 when I interviewed her. Stop it. You have to have her on the show. She's the most amazing.

Okay, I will. And she says, eat the foods that make your body feel good. Yeah. And move your body in ways that make your body feel good. So she has a really similar methodology in that. everybody's body is different and it's about starting to listen to your body and identify what works for you. So if kale gives you gas, don't have it as much. It doesn't make your body feel good. But if you love fries, have some fries. Yeah. You throw in some carrots sticks. I feel like

when we did that eight week intuitive eating course, like I really have paid attention to what does make my body feel good. And it is interesting because it's so many things that I thought I was doing the right thing actually made me feel like crap like what like celery juice oh yeah that's a big one i mean i thought that i was like i'm going to have it every morning on an empty stomach and that will make me feel good for the rest of the day and honestly it made me have crippling diarrhea i couldn't even go to the gym because i was like don't trust a fart like i couldn't do anything a lot of people have that experience but then some people have the best experience with celery juice so it's just every body is different Yes. And you've got to become a detective, a scientist in regards to your own body and what works for your specific body.

And I never suffered from anorexia or binge eating or anything like that. But what I did do was focus way too much on what I was eating, what my body looked like. Disordered eating, body dysmorphia. Yeah, there's no set name for it. Right. I had to find myself after we did the course. Like I really wanted to write down what I was eating to just look back and see what made me feel good. but my brains, I like had to be very cautious of that with, because I, then I started focusing so much on like what I was eating. Yes. And then I would look back to be like, oh, I shouldn't have that.

It was all right in front of me. But I think if people, like, what is your advice for food journaling? Well, okay. Again, everyone's so different. So for some people, especially if you've had a more complicated relationship with food and maybe you've used my fitness pal in the past or weight watchers and you've tracked, then tracking could be triggering for you. And I would say, don't do it.

If it's triggered for you, then don't do it. I don't recommend tracking, tracking to anybody. I'm talking about, like, noticing that when you have dairy, you're bloated and gassy and feel uncomfortable and jotting that down. But I know for some people as well who haven't spent any time exploring this, that when they write things down, they're like, oh, I don't actually eat much in the morning. No wonder I'm eating so much in the evening, and we can look at it. So it really depends what your relationship with food is like. But I would not recommend things like my fitness pal or any type of tracking like that. My trainer, bless him, he's so aware and really good about how I talk about my body.

But he'll be like, oh, write down what you eat, put in it in, because he doesn't even think, like, yes. It's complicated for men, too. They have all these ideals that they're supposed to live up to. And so I don't want to say that he doesn't have a distorted relationship with food, but it sounds like it hasn't impacted his life. in a negative way. Right. So some people are able to do that and not have, like, you have a, you have a guide, don't you, of 55 ways? Yeah. You have to feel better in your body. Yes. Without the diet. So we'll make sure that we give that to everybody. What are like a few of them that we haven't talked about or how we kind of. No. I mean, there's so many different things that

people can do to feel better in their body. And of course, one of the best things you can do is just speaking a little bit more kindly to your body, giving gratitude to your body. Giving gratitude to your body for the things, all the things that it does. Remembering as well that when you're comparing to somebody else, it's so easy to think about all the things that you are not, right, or all the things you wish you had different. But remembering that there's somebody out there who is looking at you wishing that they had something that you have. Yeah.

Right? Like there are people who are missing limbs and that sounds dramatic. But truly, they, if they could just walk and have legs that made it easy enough to just stand up and get a coffee or a glass of water when they wanted to do it. They would dream of them. So remembering that there's so much to be grateful for. And then I think tuning into and learning to sit with the body as we did kind of at the beginning of this when you were like, I don't want to sit in my body right now. It's uncomfortable. But we've got to do more of that. We've got to do more of kind of touching in and really noticing what it is that we're feeling in the body because

that's information that we can use to help us make different choices. moving forward. Yeah, it is really powerful when you do start to listen to your body because it's, your body is smartest. Like, it knows what it needs and it's, like, think about how wild the human body is. It's absolutely, it's the most beautiful system. It's so intricate. It is working for you all the time, all day, your entire life. I'm barely asking for anything in return. It's a little water, little nutrients. Little water, little nutrients need a little sleep. And it's good to go. So, I mean, download the handout and read through it and what I would recommend, obviously you're not doing all 55 at once, but pick one thing that you want to work on. And just whatever resonates, there's no best thing.

It's whatever feels right or stands out on that page to you and give that a try. Let's talk about cravings. Sometimes my body gets a little confused because I will have some wax up. Okay. Talk to me about cravings in general. I feel like we all have those moments where we're, you know, either sweet or salty or glass of wine or this. But how can someone satisfy cravings without feeling guilty? Okay, first of all, we've got to, we have to pay attention to our cravings. We can't just ignore or bypass them,

right? I don't know if you've ever had that experience where you're craving chocolate, but you've told yourself, I'm not having any chocolate or whatever it is or I'm only eating healthy foods. So you have grapes. And then you're like, still not satisfied. So they're like, I'll have some crackers. Still not satisfied. So then you grab something else. And you're trying to pick all these items that you've labeled as healthy to avoid having the chocolate. And by the time you just have the chocolate anyway. Yes. And you've eaten like three times as much. Try to avoid the freaking chocolate. And you're still thinking about the chocolate. And you haven't satisfied that craving that you have. So if you have a craving, I would recommend just satisfying it.

to have some of the stuff. The trouble is that often we tell ourselves, I'm just going to have this now and then I'm never having it again. You know, I'm never having A&W again, right? When we do that, we set ourselves up to overeat it because we're like a little squirrel stockpiling all of this food into our system. So first of all, don't tell yourself this is the last time I'm having this. Just let yourself have some chocolate. And if it's something that you regularly restrict or hold back on, you can kind of expect that you're going to eat more than be allocated. But if you give yourself chocolate every day and you just let yourself have it, I can guarantee by day seven, you're going to be like, I think I'm done with the chocolate.

Or I want something else. Like, it will, you'll feel satisfied. It won't have the same power over you. I know that's really scary for people, like, if they think if they give themselves permission to just have the chocolate or have the ice cream. But like, I remember, you know, I would not in my 20s have been able to buy ice cream and keep it in my freezer because I would have, yeah, I would have had a bowl and then I would have put it back and then I would have gone and had another scoop with my spoon

and then the whole thing would have been gone. All of a sudden, it would be like game over. I'm eating that whole thing. I feel so sick and then I would do weird stuff. You have to McDonald's and get more. Whereas now, it's like we have Oreo ice cream, which is probably my favorite ice cream in our fridge and it will be there for two weeks. How do we get there? Like for people listening that binge eat and really struggle with that, how do they get where you are now? It is a system and there's three steps to it. First of all, you've got to support the physical body and no longer feeling restricted.

So, you know, I have my five golden guidelines that I teach in the Rob Beauty Reset and in my food freedom course. First of all, we've got to get the physical body back to a regulated space with food. And then the second component is really working on our emotional well-being and finding tools other than food to help us cope with difficult emotions. And then the third piece is that often with our relationship with food and our body, there's an origin story. There's a reason why we have the feelings and the thoughts that we have. And so we've got to explore that and kind of dig up those weeds so that we can make space to plant new beliefs and to create new stories around food and our body. It seems like, oh, it would be this, you know, crazy path to getting there and it would take so long. But it's really like one, two, three,

go through these steps. Anybody can do it. It takes a minute to get there and some practice because oftentimes the reason that we're eating, the way that we're eating, it's deeply rooted. It's patterns that we've learned from mom or society or our culture. But it is 100% possible for anybody. I have seen everybody do it from the chronic dieter to the person who's like, you know, this is just popped up since I've had kids and my body's changed. It's not that complicated. tell everybody like where can they find your courses what kind of courses can they be taking yeah i mean the main goal with any of my courses is to support you in finding food and body freedom so that you can get after living your dream life so that you're no longer held back by self-doubt and your mind

doesn't overcome with all of these thoughts about food in your body so that you can build better relationships and start that dream job that you want feel more confident speaking up for yourself of family members are showing up authentically. And so I have the Robbidi Reset, which is a 12-week online self-slide program. And then I have my food freedom program, which is starting at the end of January. And that's going to be a six-month group. I'm so freaking excited about this. Can people still sign up?

People can still sign up, absolutely. The best thing to do is to book a breakthrough call so that I can understand more about your history with food and so that I can help you identify what it is that is blocking you from moving forward because here's the thing, the majority of people know what they need to be doing to improve their health and wellness. And they have the apps on their phone, right? Like they've tried the diet. They've got the gym pass or they've downloaded Allo or they've got Melissa Wood, but it's like, why aren't you doing it? And so that's where I come in and really love to help you get unstuck and understand what it is that is preventing you from actually moving

forward and connecting the dots from point A to point B. And sometimes just having that conversation with you is like the perfect start that people need i feel like what was i say last like having sex like just you're just got to do it you just got to do it and then you're like while you're doing it you're like why didn't i do this before totally i feel like having that initial caller just having a conversation with somebody who gets it you've been in their shoes and you are like a testimony to people being able to say like i can have the food in my freezer and i can do this and i feel good and I'm, you know, you are proof, you are the pudding. Is that the same?

You are proof. You are the pudding. I do feel like just having conversations, like so many things that are difficult, just having that conversation is like always a step in the right direction. And I feel like that's what you give them. And then they get excited to do the courses. They get excited to feel good in their body. And when is the next Rob Beauty reset?

So you can start that one anytime. It's self-led. And you can go through the online learning modules, like your own pace. Yeah, it's, I mean, both of the programs, we've had over a thousand women go through it. The food freedom program is live coaching calls. We do this motivational walk every week where I just like pour my heart and soul into getting you into your body and reminding you who you are. And we walk with like inspiring music. It sounds so cheesy, but it is like you are on the runway of your life.

Everyone leaves those calls just like ready to get after it. It's so fun. My favorite was when we did the like dance. parties at the beginning at the beginning of the cold or the end? Usually whenever the moment's straight. Like whenever I'm feeling the energy needs a little pick me up or we need a little release. Oh, all the time. All the time. I know. Oh, cute. They're very cute. They are. Your kids are very sweet. They're very. I got to actually like spend a hot minute of them at Shana's last of us here. They're so cute. Yeah. I know. And it's just so cool. Like so full circle because when

I really, like when I started working with a coach, which is why I even became a coach because I had such a positive experience with one, I was literally single. I was broke. I was working for my parents company, which I would actually highly recommend. I had to, I learned so much, but I was living their dream. Right. Like I was, I was literally trying to help my parents and save my parents by working in their company as we do. Like the inside, the negative self-talk, the limiting beliefs, the anxiety, the dysregulated system. It was so, out of whack on so many levels and it fully was reflective in my outer world. I was told I wouldn't be able to have kids. And so now to be here, that was probably about 12 years ago that I was sitting in

that place where Scott, my husband now, he used to call it the darkness. And I'm like so metaphorical. But now it's like I've got these two kids who are six and eight who are just these little lights. Oh my gosh, we have to talk about free to be as well. Because you are now on the board. I invited myself. Oh, my God. Well, I wanted to invite you, but I was like, how do we loop you in in a way that will be fun and engaging? And you're like, no, I want to be like in the nitty gritty. I want to go to schools.

I need your help. And we need everyone who's listening's help. Yes. So free to be is a media literacy and positive body image program for youth in grades four to nine. We're teaching them all about media messaging, gender stereotypes, and things that can impact their body image in order to support their mental wellbeing. So we're going into schools. And we've got a beautiful program that was created by one of the top psychologists in Canada, Dr. Hilary McBride, Jan Massina, Dr. Michelle Campbellis. They're all working.

And we've got, you know, DEI specialist, body image specialist is going to be out of. I like get like emotional about it. I'm like, God, if I only had that in school, like, I think it's so cool because we always talk about how, I'm like, why are they not teaching you about like a mortgage rate at school? Why are they not teaching you about like debt and balancing the checkbook? like life important things that are going to like literally set people up for so much success and to be their best selves and just like live their dream life yeah that's the goal that's the goal we want these kiddos to have a strong sense of self-esteem they're obviously living in a world with so much social media so many images coming at them and that wasn't something that we had to

combat and it was already hard enough so I feel so excited and so passionate about creating this for them alongside you and And so many other women and men as well, the programs for boys and girls. So if you're listening right now and you have kids in that age range, grades five to nine, and you're interested in having it come into their school or you're a teacher who's listening or somebody who wants to get involved, please reach out. I'll leave a link to a little volunteer form that we have. We're just gathering means and numbers to create our army on the website.

So I'll leave the website as well. There's a donate button. And any support is so, we're so grateful for it. I mean, you really just do the Lord's work. I mean, you do, you do so many important things. I was reading my 2021 intentions the other day, and one was make more money. I'm like, cool intention, Caitlin, make more money. Well, okay, we can still make more money and save the world.

I'm trying to figure out that equation, but, you know. Oh, yes. Like, we can have it all. But my thing, there was a, I have a picture of it, and I said I wanted to do more work with you. Really? Yes. I wanted to do more work with it. I will.

I actually have it in my phone. Yeah, we've been working side by side forever, so this is just such a natural fit. And I can't wait to see you in the classroom with those kids. You're going to blow their mind. I can't even wait. I have this stupid thought, though, where I'm like, but I have like, Botox and filler. And then I have, that's another thing I battle with myself on of being like raw and real and natural. And I'm like, oh my gosh, well, this is, I mean, this is complicated. Yeah, totally. And I have Botox as well. And I feel like this is the thing. It's, it's not about. never ever thinking about what you look like and not ever putting on a cute outfit or getting to wear makeup or doing Botox if that's what you feel is right but it's about that stuff not dictating your life it's about as well feeling so good on the inside and then if you choose to make those choices great yeah I always well I love it yeah great and like who's to say somebody shouldn't wear makeup or that they shouldn't feel they should love putting together a sick outfit We'll post all the links for everybody to be able to do whatever they want to do the course

or donate or volunteer, whatever they can do is amazing. Thank you so much for listening in and I'm sending everyone so much love who's listening right now. Yes. You're freaking amazing. And whatever dreams you have, whatever it is that you want to do in your life, however it is that you want to feel in your body is 1,000% accessible. You just got to move in yourself enough to take the first step. She dropped the mic.

I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday.