Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - From the Vault: Erin Treloar

Episode Date: December 18, 2018

This week we rewind the tapes and go back to an old favorite when founder and CEO of Raw Beauty Talks Erin Treloar swung by the studio to examine the online criticism Kaitlyn received(s) and the importance of self love in the online age. Blink - Visit www.BlinkForHome.com/OFFTHEVINE for Peace of mind starting at $99 Brush Hero - Check out BrushHero.com and use code VINE for $20 off orders over $100 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. Get ready for lots of laughs, tabby topics, unfiltered advice, and wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, if you haven't figured that out yet, I say it every time when I start this podcast, but that's fine.

I'm so excited. We are podcasting from Vancouver today and my old stomping grounds. and any time I am here, I like to get in as much friends and family time as possible. I feel like I have such a great group of friends. I have a couple in the room with me right now. Hi, girls. Hi. Hi.

I'm not just saying this because you're here, but I feel like our group of girlfriends or people we're friends with are all like these inspirational, like strong, independent, successful people. And I feel like everybody, you know, I've lived in Vancouver for almost 12 years. And I feel like all of my girlfriends have so much to do with who I am and where I'm at, where I'm at and, like, just who I am as a person today. That's because of who you are. You're attracting those people into your life. That's very true. That's a very good point. But I really do.

I feel like I, that's actually a really good point. I feel like I have attracted such good people in my life. And I just do feel like it has so much to do with, you know, you're the reason why I have a podcast, okay? is what I'm kidding at. Thank you for my success. So I thought I'd bring in one of my girlfriends who inspires me on a daily basis. And you may not know it, but I'm sure she's also inspired you. I've got my girlfriend, Aaron, who is the founder of Raw Beauty Talks and is a health

and wellness coach who works with women to help them feel amazing in their body, healthy, happier, less stressed, more confident. She has interviewed over 200 women in a series of, exploring the topics of beauty, confidence, and self-love, and each piece is accompanied with beautiful photos of the women without makeup, no photo editing or filters, and her work has been featured in Marie Claire, The Huffington Post, L.A. Times, Elle Magazine, amongst others. I could go on and on. I always love my intros to people because I'm like, gosh, you are amazing. You're so sweet. Thank you for being here, Erin. Thank you for having me here.

I am so excited about this podcast because we all know I'm goofy and I'm silly and I like to make people laugh and I drink, which I am right now. You're not because you're pregnant, but you're having water. I know. But I'm just, I'm really excited for this podcast because I obviously posted a couple of photos in the past of no makeup, no editing just to kind of start some sort of movement that you started and that I've been inspired by. And so I just think it's great to have you here and to discuss some of these topics and go over stats and just really have people, even just hearing, when I was reading these out loud, I almost cried just because it's so powerful. And I'm just going to read a couple stats just so people can really grasp the fact that social media is, I mean, and magazines too. It's really affecting our generation and more so the generation to come, which is terrifying, especially for you. It's huge. We have so much pressure on ourselves as women these days and with the younger generation coming up,

which was why it was so amazing to see these incredible realstagram photos. That's what you tag them as. You came up with that awesome hashtag. It was so amazing to see you post something like that because we don't see it in media ever. And it's having a really huge impact on the self-esteem and confidence of so many girls. And it was sadly so scary to post. Because it's not what we're used to seeing at all. And so it feels like we're the only one who has any flaws or, you know, anything real that's going on in the backgrounds. To put that out, it makes you so vulnerable. And nobody is ever like, I love being vulnerable.

it's so easy it's like one of my qualities oh your headphones fell off i get so into talking about this stuff you got excited your headphones fell off totally but really like wait what was i even saying vulnerability oh yeah like nobody says that's one of their qualities and if they do their line no i know i mean being vulnerable is so scary because it means that you're opening yourself up you're putting all of yourself out there yeah and when we do that that there's a possibility that people aren't going to like what they see and that they're going to tell us that. And nobody wants to hear that they're not liked or loved or that they don't belong. And I think that was something that was so strange for me because I've always posted

photos on, you know, Facebook or Instagram or whatever. And I was never like, oh, I need to make sure it's, you know, this aesthetically pleasing and edited. But I was also posting to people who just loved me for who I was and all my friends and family. So entering a world. world of television, national television, where all of a sudden I'm opening up my life to I mean everybody and having people not like me for just being who I am and for what I look like and what I stand for was so strange to me and so hard to understand why don't people like me for who I am. And they don't know you. They know your social media feed. They get to see your, what everyone calls the highlight reel.

And so they're making judgment calls based on that and based on the person that they saw on The Bachelorette, which, I mean, I'll pose the question to you. Was that version of Caitlin 100% new? Did they get to experience 100% of Caitlin when they got to watch that show? No. No. I mean, they saw a lot. They saw a lot, totally.

But not every single emotion, every single thing that you were going to. was obviously very emotional through that, but and everybody saw me cry and everybody saw me do the ugly cry and everybody saw me happy. But I mean, still, it's, I always say that they, they film you at least 15 hours a day, seven days a week. But what the world sees is one hour every Monday night. So there's so much that's missing. Same thing with like, everyone's like, oh, Sean is so serious. And it's like, actually he wasn't, but that was his like, you know, That's what they made him to be was this very serious and they created a character. Exactly.

They created a character. And it's all wrapped up in this concept of reality TV. So we think that it's real because it is more real than a drama or like a comedy show that's already being pre-produced in things. And so there is a lot of reality there. But it's not the full story. And we're getting really good at scrolling through our Instagram feeds, It's getting lost in there and feeling like we know people really well, like they're our best

friends and yet you never even met someone. You know, and that's why I really want to have you on the podcast and talk about the raw beauty and raw beauty talks and the real Instagram hashtag and starting this movement because I think having a platform for me, I'm so excited to do bigger, better things than just, you know, try and post a pretty picture. like I love that I have a voice and I love that I can like reach out to younger women and that they can you know the the amount of DMs I got a knot of creepy people weren't sliding in they were sending like nice messages and and sharing their stories and I always say I wish I could

respond to everybody because it blows my mind but doesn't really though because of course this is happening it happens to me as a 32 year old woman in the world of social media I can only imagine what it does to a fragile teenager because if I had, we all say this all the time, if I had social media when I was that age, you know, like I would probably be a complete different person than I am right now because I think it's shaping young, not even just girls, actually guys too, but you know, they see on magazines like, this is what you do to get a guy to like you and this is what your body should look like for a guy to like you. And it's all about like what you should do for a guy to like you.

And it makes me sick. and all the photos are completely edited, photoshopped, all blemishes and cellulite are taken away, and you're left with all of these women looking at magazine saying, oh, that's what I'm supposed to look like, because I mean, even,

I'm going to get to the stats because I'm starting to touch on that anyways. But, okay, when I read these, I really, really felt like I needed to cry because it's really powerful. So here's some stats. on average youth consume over eight hours of media every day that stand alone is not okay with me and i'm probably part of that but it's it's wild eight hours eight hours when you think about the percentage of your day that you're awake what percentage eight hours is of that we are seeing

these images and receiving these messages um way more often than we're having conversations with our best friends or our parents or our support group these images and this media that that we're consuming are really creating our vision of reality more and more and more. That's so, like that alone right there should just tell you, like, don't get caught up in that because that's what you're feeding your brain. And if you took hours out of that and put it toward like a self-love book or, you know, talking to your friends or family and feeding yourself with positivity and self-love, think of how much that can influence. your mind over scrolling and seeing people's highlight reel of what they want you to see.

It's insanely impactful. And knowing you're doing that is so weird because we all still do it anyways. Because we are addicted to numbing ourselves out. We're addicted to being able to check out for a minute. Our lives are so busy and so stressful and we have so much going on. And it feels like doing that Instagram scroll or watching that hour of reality TV, it just it lets us relax and shut off for a minute and it's enjoyable and there's nothing wrong with doing those things or enjoying those things by all means watch the bachelorette but i'm just saying

we need to really watch how much we're watching it how much our kids are watching it and and be more mindful of the type of media that we're consuming yeah i even say like with with my nieces and nephews you know like taking a picture with them i try so hard to not go back and look at it and be like Oh, no, no, no, let's do another one. I don't like how I look. Because how easy is that? You don't like an angle when you take a picture. And then you're showing these young kids.

Oh, I don't like that one. We need to take another one at a good angle. No, like, I used to never care. I remember I had one of those throwaway cameras. I would take the nastiest selfies. I remember I had a sucker in my mouth, and it, like, left my mouth blue. And I had, like, mascara that was, like, under my eye. And I took this photo with my throwaway camera.

And I got it, and I was like, I look pretty cute. Right? I thought I looked cute because it was like in the moment photo and... You're having fun. You're probably like... It's still in my photo album. Yeah. Which photo albums don't even exist anymore.

Now it's Instagram albums. Yeah. But I didn't care. And now I'm like finding myself questioning if I took a good photo or not and seeing photos of myself a lot more than usual and picking myself apart. And that's, I mean, I've always been somewhat hard on myself, obviously, but never to this extent now. No. it really perpetuates that negative self-talk in our head.

And it becomes impossible to look at a picture, especially now because we're talking about the disposable cameras. You used to take one or two photos and then move on to the next scene. Now people take like 100 photos in one scene to get that perfect image. Then they put it in FaceTune. They put it in afterlight. They're brightening it. They're brightening it.

Have you ever been to lunch with a blogger? Yes. It takes a long time to eat. I'm like, my food is cold, my ice is melted in my drink. I hope you got a good photo. But I mean, it's a lifestyle. And again, I do it too. Yeah.

But it's just. We all do it too. And it's really just becoming more aware of it. Exactly. So that we're conscious about when we're choosing to do it, when we're not. And so it's not all the time. Being aware is just, we'll get into awareness later because I feel like that's a big part of how my mind is starting to work now, is just being aware of things.

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From downloading the app to onboarding the sync module and adding your cameras, entire process should only take five minutes or maybe even less. So to get yours, go to blinkforhome.com slash off the vine now. One more time, that's blinkforhome.com slash off the vine. But anyways, I'm getting back to the stats because 69% of girls feel magazine pictures strongly influenced their idea of the perfect body and 47% wanted to lose weight because of the pictures. These pictures are not real. Why do you want to look? like something that isn't real. It's not achievable.

It's not something that you're ever going to get. So you're always going to be unhappy with wanting your body. I am so tiny and I have cellulite. Like it's not going away. It's genetics. And guess what? I bet that Victoria's Secret model has it too. Some of the girls do and they've spoken out about it.

Which I love. Yes. There's nothing I love more than when people like you or people who are in the limelight are brave enough to step forward and say, hey I'm not perfect either and that's okay yeah we're still doing amazing things we're still like making impact we're still making you laugh we're still having fun and I wish life goes on I wish these magazines were preaching how much confidence um is beauty and how much who you are as a human makes you beautiful because you know it's funny is watching the bachelor bachelor bachelor before I was

ever on it I always thought that these girls eventually just got their hair and makeup done through the show because to me they got better looking. So when I went on the show, I was like, where's hair and makeup? And they're like, no, no, you don't do that. And I found out that I actually was just more attracted to their personalities and learning more about who they were, that they became more attractive to me. Interesting. Yes.

As the show went on. So they weren't actually changing. You just were getting to know them. Yes. Which, isn't that crazy? It's, I mean, it is crazy that that's the way our mind works at first. there's that whole, you don't judge a book by its cover, and that's the perfect example of that. But we do. We're so used to doing that.

And it's, I mean, when you talk about this stat relating to the magazines and images that we see in magazines, it's so important for girls to remember as well that the individuals that are generally driving the content in these magazines are the advertisers. And the advertisers need to sell products. And some of these products are absolutely amazing, wonderful products. But some of them have a lot of money behind them and a lot of photo editing behind the pictures that are being used to sell them. What do you mean flat tummy tea doesn't work and it won't make my tummy flat overnight? I don't know.

I'm going to. Yeah, no comment. But these magazines have huge advertising dollars that are behind them. And the reality is we're not buying the products unless we feel like the product's going to help us improve. So the images have to be better than the way that we look. so it creates this cycle and I mean what I love is seeing magazines like self and glamour now starting to shift the content that we're seeing even on their front covers and that's because people are asking for it people in social media have a voice now

and they're asking for change which is so great to see because it could go the opposite direction with the world we live in and it's nice to see that there is some sort of change happening on those magazines. I'm going to get to another one in six youth will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their life with rates of anxiety and depression increasing by 70% over the past 25 years. A recent study found that Instagram is the most damaging social network to young people's mental well-being causing feelings of inadequacy and anxiety.

Not shocking. Not shocking at all. Next. We don't even have to break that one down. Nope, nope, that makes so much sense, of course. The number one wish of girls between the ages of 11 and 17 is to be thinner. Heartbreaking. 11 years old, like my niece will be 11 next year, and I want to cry,

thinking about her ever wanting to be thinner or having that kind of mindset of wanting to change her body at that age. I know. And it's, honestly, it's happening younger and younger with the media literacy program that we run free to be, we're seeing girls who are in like grade four, grade five. It's so young. And again, just having these conversations and having a voice, we can help or try to shift people's mindset. And I want to be that voice for my niece and for other young girls out there. So I feel like I'm just like so passionate about this. I could cry. 81% of 10-year-olds are afraid of being

fat. This fear transcends that of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents. It's wild. That, that, they're afraid of being fat over death. And that, I don't even have words sometimes when I say, when I say those facts out loud, I'm like, what? I know. I mean, it's, these feelings of inadequacy are so deep and we start to receive these messages at such a young age. So many of us, I mean, my mom's amazing and she's never worn makeup and she's like way more about being on the tennis court than shopping mall. Amazing. You know.

And it's not to say, again, that those things are bad, but it's really, the messages are coming at us from so many different angles, often from our mothers as well. And it's so important as a mom for any of you who are out there listening right now to really be aware of the way that you're speaking about your body, the way that you're using your body, and how you're teaching your children to value their appearance versus their skill sets, their unique characteristics, their personalities. Oh, my gosh, which is so, which will take them so far in life if you teach them that, that alone, you know, like, I always say screw college. Social skills and confidence and, and loving yourself will get you really far

in life. Really far. And then they can build on those skills, but it's always going to be a bit of a losing battle when you put all of your value into the way that you look. Because according to society, we should all look like we're 20 and 100 pounds and the body type changes from year to year, really. Yeah. It's a losing battle. And you know what? It's even interesting from my standpoint is that I've always been super tiny and grew up in a dance studio where you're constantly in the mirror and looking at other girls' bodies and compare. And what my insecurities were growing up were not about being overweight. I was so insecure about how skinny I was because guys used to tell me that they would use

me for their dog's throwing stick. No. Yes. And that I would be more attractive if I had bigger boobs or if I was bigger. And so my whole life I've thought like, oh, guys want big boobs and that's what's attractive and I'm too tiny. And so it's not even like the. the 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat.

It can go the opposite way, too, because that was an issue for me growing up. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think people think, you know, oh, she's skinny, so she must love her body. But you can go the opposite way and feel, you know, like you're inadequate because you're too tiny and that people don't find that attractive because the amount of times I've talked about this on other podcasts that people have said to me, like, are you sick or are you okay, you're looking so thin and you should eat. And like that, to me, I'm all about, you know,

the whole five love languages. Sean probably rolling his eyes just like thinking about me saying that book because I've made him read it. But I'm all about the words and words of affirmation. And that means that words hurt just as much too. So the words that you can say that build me up, they can also tear me down and hurt just as much. And that's, that was a hard part about the social media coming off the show and all of a sudden having people absolutely, I mean hate me with all of their being hate me. And I just couldn't understand. I mean, do you still read the comments from people after going through what you went through and the online bullying essentially that was happening? I do not as much, but I still do, but I have a different mindset now where before I honestly

I'm very proud of myself for getting through all of that and coming out on top where I can now read it with a different mindset because I was really like during the middle of the show I handled it and I knew I could deal with it and I had thick skin but I was also depressed. I would just lay in bed and be like people hate me like people want me to die

and now I've gotten to a point where I've weaned out those haters for the most part but there's still you know your typical troll in there once in a while But I've learned to just not take anything personally, knowing where that negativity comes from. And actually, I'm going to try and find it within two seconds because I took a screenshot. I follow if this is someone to follow on Instagram, is that Think Grow Prosper. Yes. Have you seen that?

Yeah. I'll get to my screenshots. And, oh, here it is. It is helpful to remember that negative people are suffering. if it sucks being around a negative person imagine how much it would suck being a negative person their unhappiness contributes to their negative mindset and i'm like every person that i read these hatred comments from i now feel sorry for them rather than feel like oh am i ugly or am i too skinny or do i should i die like no i want to just give that person a hug and be like are you okay like what's going on in your life that you have that much hatred towards me yeah and so it's i just read them

differently now. And that's because you've grown so much from this process. And I feel like you've put a lot of work into creating that mindset because it does take work. But that's so powerful. What they're saying, what people say about you on social media is more a reflection of how they're feeling about themselves than how they actually feel about you. And that's what I want to teach younger girls too, going through, you know, bullying at school and guys too. Just that I want them to all understand where that comes from and not take it so personally. Because at that age, how do you not take it personally? You don't know any better.

No. But I want to teach young kids and people going through bullying that it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with the bully. And I think on that note, this whole conversation provides such a great opportunity to remind listeners out there that you can use social media to spread so much positivity. You can be the one out there who's the cheerleader. for other people that you're seeing. People do read those messages.

It does make them feel good. If you appreciate somebody, tell them. Spread the positivity. Spread the love. Like we as women need to be our biggest cheerleaders. We need to start joining together rather than constantly tearing one another down. And that's one of the things that we talk about in the coaching is acknowledging other people. And it's weird because so many people find it really uncomfortable to do that because we

live in a world where we're constantly underappreciating not only other people but ourselves. Yes. Oh my gosh. That's one thing if people don't know. Aaron has been my health and wellness coach for the past, I mean, how long now? I feel like we've been working together for six months or so. Six months. Yeah. Where we talk on the phone and, I mean, we talk about everything. From body image to what kind of foods make you feel your best self and have energy. and what eating the proper foods can do for your mental health, for your physical health. We've talked about what kind of movement we can do together to help social media in general become a more positive place. Like, we've talked about everything.

And I feel like that's one thing that I've really taken away from our sessions is that I'm so more self-aware now of how I talk to myself and how I view myself and if I do eat McDonald's, I'm like, you know what, I worked out three times this week or I did this. And this makes me feel good in this moment. And I'm just going to take a few deep breaths while I eat it because I've learned that stress is like a major factor of weight gain. And if you're just more aware of everything, when it comes to eating, when it comes to self-love, when it comes to social media, if you're just more aware and tell yourself, I'm scrolling

right now and this isn't you know this person has their issues too and i need to appreciate other people's beauty without questioning my own i love that saying um just being so mindful and aware of how you're talking to yourself has been something that i've really taken away from our conversations and that's made the biggest difference in my life and you could probably ask sean about that because i feel like i've changed in our relationship too from that so thanks thank you for showing up every time we talk. I mean, this work is not easy because. No, it's really challenging. It's really, it is. It's challenging because you have to dig deep and you're changing, you know, belief systems within yourself and habits within yourself. And with that comes a lot of discomfort. And, um, and you,

you are incredible at showing up because you want so much out of life. Because you're brave. Because, um, you, we all know what the full potential is. And so, um, you know, often people think health coaching is for like people who are broken or people. Everyone who I work with are the high achievers. They're the ones who, you know, like they have this vision for themselves and they're desperate to get there. They really want to work there, but there's some sort of block that's maybe preventing them from getting there. And it's all about, you know, creating that vision and then moving from point A to point B. And one of the, I think, the biggest things in regards to all this media stuff that we're talking about is that there's so many messages coming at us.

about what type of food we should be putting into our body and how we should be moving our body to have the best body. We've totally stopped listening to ourselves and stop checking in with our own body. I mean, there's billions of people out there. Everyone is built differently. Everyone needs their own system in order to function at their highest potential.

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or wherever you listen to podcasts. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. You know what upsets me is when we think of what guys want. Yes. Because you know what guys would be really attracted to is someone who just loves themselves and doesn't need a guy. Like I get so mad at that like, well, guys want this and guys would find me more attractive if this. But like that truck beeping in the background is really cramping my style. Cleo, go tell him to stop backing up his truck.

He's ruining the moment. Ruinning the moment. Maybe we can, like, somehow use editing skills to get rid of that. Oh, I think he's done. What was I even saying? We're talking about men and what men really want versus what we think that they want. And who cares? Because the most attractive thing in the world is when you feel good about who you are.

And that's when you're going to attract the right guy who loves you. If you're, you know, trying to be something else that you aren't, you're going to attract the wrong guy. which will end up in your own unhappy life. You will be happy and find, I always say find your Sean B when you have self-love and when you are 100% true to who you are or at least working on it

and loving yourself through it, through the ups and downs because that's attractive. Absolutely. And I mean, it's challenging. You talked about sort of comments that boys make in elementary school and in high school.

And the comments that they make at that point can really stick with a girl. Like hearing, we like big boobs. And now the kids are dealing with porn being so accessible, which is, just Google it. It's there. It's there. On your iPad that you all have. Yeah. And that's defining like what sex should look like, what a relationship should look like.

Which is all so unrealistic. It's not, again, it's not real. But what I find is later on in life, men start to look for more of that real stuff. stuff. And we have to remember, you know, when you're younger, for anyone who's listening, who's in their early 20s, that stuff won't matter in the long run. When a man's looking for his wife, there's just different things. Of course, you want to have that attraction with your partner. But they will. That'll happen naturally if they love you. Exactly. Exactly. And if there's men out there who are listening, can people make comments? Probably not.

they've they've checked out a long time ago okay never mind they heard that we ladies yeah they're like five minutes i'm out they're like raw beauty what and for that reason i'm out but but if there are but sean will be listening Sean Sean Sean's amazing I don't need to tell Sean anything no you don't he already knows but what if there are men listening go on go on it's just so important to remember that all of that women are already receiving so many messages telling them to look a certain way and in whatever way you can help reinforce that those things you know aren't what's the most important i do we would greatly appreciate it yeah thanks to guys out there thanks john and

whoever your one friend is that you're making listen i wonder i wonder how many guys listen i actually got such a sweet email from a guy saying that he listened and that it made him laugh, and it was really sweet. I wish I remembered his name right now because it was so sweet. Oh, I'll bring it up in another podcast because I want to give him a shout out. Yeah. We love men. But I just love because I do feel like I have a lot of listeners in their 20s, and I just

want to be, like, there for them. Like, I'm so appreciative of these loyal listeners that I have. And if I can, you know, help them in any way, I feel like that's the reason I'm doing this podcast so even if it means I'm making them laugh or we're talking real talk I you know I'm showing you that you know you can be funny and and also smart you can I can I can get deep you are yo you know and on that note she takes another simple I was just going to say on that but I was going to say maybe because we have so many younger listeners and even if they're not it can still help we can talk about tips that we can offer girls who want to be

build their self-esteem or just feel better in their own body. Yes. Let's dive into that. I think one of the very first things that I would recommend is doing a social media detox, which I did, which is what did you think? Oh, remember we had talked through it and I'd be like, this is absolutely life changing. Because again, you, you're, okay, so what is a social media detox? You're basically going to go through your social media pages and you're going to unfollow accounts

that you find actually aren't controlled. to your well-being. So if there's an account that you're looking at that ends up making you feel like you're not enough, like you need to go shopping all the time, like your body is terrible, unfollow, delete, remove. And then start following people who are inspiring, who are uplifting, who are going to make you feel motivated, who are going to give you tips, tricks, resources that are going to build you up. We've got a few here. So I Am Her tribe has beautiful words and saying she's just really real healthy as the new skinny jenna coocher of course follow on um at raw beauty talks yes follow at raw beauty talks because we'll talk about something

we're going to start later in in the podcast but in like 10 minutes but keep going no i mean that's that's what a social media detox is and and really it's just about controlling the information that you're reading um and the things that you're seeing so that it's building you up so that it's making you into the best version of yourself versus tearing yourself down every day. Like, why would we do that? Why do we, why do we choose to look at that stuff? And it's, I always say it's like, you know you're doing it too. So why not switch gears and be like, I'm going to do something that makes me feel good. And I'm going to follow accounts that make me feel like my better self rather than comparing. And, and maybe the ones that you do compare,

maybe if they're your friends or people who you are finding yourself comparing them to, but you like them. Maybe try and take a different approach at looking at it and appreciating what they're doing. And my girlfriend, Brie, always says, good for her, not for me. Right. I love that. Which is so good because it's like, you know what? Good for her. She looks balm.

And like, I don't care if those are hair extensions and a little bit edited. Like, you look bomb. Not for me, though. Yeah. Or appreciate another woman's beauty. And it doesn't mean that you're not beautiful yourself. There's a quote. And I didn't just say it properly.

I said it along those lines. I said it earlier. Um, appreciate others' beauty without questioning your own. Perfect. There you go. Absolutely. I'm like, yeah, I've said it like 20 times to myself today. I keep reiterated that one.

Keep saying it. Keep saying it. Oh, good. So, yeah, social media detox. That's a big one. The other thing is starting to tune into your body as well. So shutting out, you know, there's, again, as I said, there's so much information there about what you should be doing.

and you really need to start listening to what your own body is telling you. What foods make you feel good, energized, lighter after you eat them? What foods are making your stomach hurt and you feel like you have to take a nap afterwards? Those aren't reacting properly with your body. People don't realize what food does. People do not realize until you've found the right system for yourself, how good it can actually make you feel in your own skin. And that doesn't mean not having the McDonald's.

once in a while and that doesn't mean not having a bag of chips or eating the thing of ice cream when you're on your period like yeah no it do it feel good about it and then get back on track balance is so key and it makes it sustainable is the big thing so that we're not always on this roller coaster ride of dieting not dieting and when we turn our motivation away from it just being about weight loss or exactly putting on weight in a certain place that's when we can really tune into things and it's actually when you start to notice the most change in your body. And I know this from experience only because I've always said, I want a flatter stomach and a bigger butt.

That's always my thing. And once I started just like not feeling guilty about certain things and enjoying my wine, but also having a good workout and not focusing on certain points and actually just like thinking about my overall health, I've appreciated my body more and I think it's just changed the way I even look at myself in general, which, because I'm like, I really do feel like I've got the balance thing figured out. You're killing it. You're killing it.

You're killing it. Yeah. I'm killing the balance game. And I feel like that has a lot to do with all the conversations that we've had and really, again, being mindful and not focusing so much on what we need to change or what, you know, what we think needs. It's actually just being overall a healthier person. mentally, physically, and then appreciating your body more. And I have sticky notes on my mirror.

And one says, once you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. It's totally true. And it is 100% true. I swear when your inside is feeling good, when you're eating right, when you're doing movement that's not just like prescribed. You have to be in the gym 24-7. You get this glow. Like that, like your hair's healthier, your skin's healthy, your body changes. Let me tell you. I know this from experience during and after the show I put on 10 pounds. I lost hair. I had adult acne. I was depressed. And right now in my life, I feel like my hair has never been thicker. My skin's never glowed more. I'm 32. I feel like I've like feeling the best in my body I've ever felt. And it's because I'm more self-aware. I'm talking nicer to myself. Yeah. And I'm

appreciating things more. And I just have switched my mindset, which I still obviously struggle with other things and I'm still working on things but just my my focus has changed and I feel like I'm already usually like a pretty bubbly happy person but I feel like truly like inner like happiness right now oh that makes me so happy myself I mean it could be the rosé talking but no just kidding it's a beautiful sunny day here as well yeah it's the vitamin D and the rosé no but you do seem like just us the same person but just slightly different you're just yeah you're on the right track really is what it comes down to okay ready 60 seconds that's exactly how long this commercial lasts okay you know what else you can do in about a minute i can think of a few things you can get an offer for your car with true

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car, check out true car today. So if people are wondering like how the hell do I start to listen to my body, what the heck does that even mean? There is a tool on our website. It's called a mind, body, soul scan. It's like two minutes and it really just walks you through checking in with each part of your body. And usually when people do this, they're like, wow, I am so thirsty. Or I am exhausted and it just allows you to check in with what your body's telling you um after you've done the mind body soul scan you want to just think about what is the first thought that came to mind what was the first request that my body had from me and then listen to that actually follow through with it get the water take a little nap if you can put your damn phone down take take a couple

minutes out of your eight hours of scrolling and actually check in with your body and your mind yes Because, okay, hi, I'm telling you right now, stop scrolling, do something good for yourself. And in those two minutes, you will feel better about yourself just from checking it. Way better. Way better. And the results just kind of move on top of one another and things start rolling in the right direction. Exactly. Should we talk about RealStagram?

Yes. Let's get the people involved. Yes. Because another way that you can kind of step in. into your self-esteem and your self-confidence is being a little vulnerable. I have seen so many beautiful faces pop up on tagged photos of me from the Reelstagram post and from using hashtag RealStagram. And we want you to start using other hashtags and tagging us.

Posting my RealStagram photo was, like I said, I was being vulnerable, not my favorite thing to be, but I also love a good challenge. And when I posted it, I was like, oh, man, I mean, people probably thought my skin was so good. And I'm about to post this. And then everyone's like, oh, your skin looks great. I'm like, that was my self-negative voice telling me that my skin wasn't good. Oh, my gosh. And I just saw such a positive outcome and so much feedback from people that it inspired me to keep it going and do another one.

And so let's talk about the upcoming campaign that we're going to do. It's so amazing that you're doing that. I can't honestly. It's just so refreshing to see somebody do that. And I want to acknowledge the fact that it is really hard. So kudos to you. It shouldn't be, but it is. It is.

So what we want to do is to challenge everyone who's listening out there to do their own realtoram posts. So post a photo without makeup, editing, or filters. And maybe share a little bit of your background or something that happens behind the scenes that you wouldn't normally share. tag at Caitlin Bristow, tag at Raw Beauty Talks, and the hashtag RealStagram. We're going to be sharing them every Monday

on our Instagram stories. So make sure you're following at Raw Beauty Talks because, A, it's inspiring and just such a positive... It's one of those feeds I follow where I'm like, oh, I needed that. Oh, thank you. I needed that. And then it just switches kind of your mindset of scrolling. Once you see that, you're like, oh, I needed that little reminder.

And then you can keep going on your eight hours ago. Totally. Carry on. Carry on afterwards. about the eight hours. I'm like, God, that's ridiculous. But yes. Yeah, so that's, I mean, it's pretty simple. We just want to see more real coming in on the Instagram feeds. And we would love your help with that. The real Instagram campaign is leading up to a crowd fund that we're doing for this incredible program started by a woman named Renee Regier. It's called Free to Be. It's for

youth in grade six to eight. And it's a positive body image and media literacy program. So important. And so we're raising funds to help get the next round of kids through the program and so that we can expand it throughout North America. And that's all launching August 8th. And if I need to reiterate this, it's the people are more afraid of getting fat. Young women are more afraid of getting fat than death in their family, cancer. So we need to do something and raise money and raise awareness and put on these programs and have these conversations to really start making. a difference because it's the same thing with like when you do fundraisers for cancer and you know getting money for research and and making a difference this is just as important it's

really really important it's i mean mental health we know is affected so many people now and and when you're struggling with mental health or when you're struggling with low self-esteem you're not living fully right and that's what i mean what i really want to see and what i know you want to see as well is girls who are feeling confident and empowered and who are using their strengths and who are teamed together so that life is good. Life is too short to be. I mean, I do feel like women are starting to come together a little more. Yes. And, you know, women have come a long way. But it's just, I want to share this quick story before. I'm going to see if we have time to do some questions from listeners. But my niece, I told you this on our call the other

day, but I want to share with everybody. My sister found a video of my niece and her phone that she had made. And she, one day, this is a while back, I went to take her to school and I picked out this really cute denim onesie for her to wear and she started crying. And she's 10. And she said, I, I don't want to wear that girls laugh at me when I wear this outfit. And I, I mean, what I really wanted to do was march down to her school and give a piece of my mind. But I was like, you know what? Sometimes girls aren't going to like what you wear, and it only matters what you think of your outfit. What do you think of your outfit? And she's like, what?

I saw you had an outfit like it, so I went and put on my denim onesie. And I was like, I love your outfit. And if you love your outfit, that's all that matters. And so she went to school in it. And I was just, I mean, I bawled my eyes out after I dropped her off. But so my sister found a video in her phone the other day of my niece, and she stood up on the bathtub in the mirror. and she put on record and she goes, okay, so today I'm going to be talking about and she got up on the tab and she goes, it doesn't matter what other people think or if other people want

to say mean things. It only matters what you and your auntie thinks. Yes. And she goes, or whoever your guardian is who you love. Oh, I love little girls who are empowered. I was like, so awesome. I've never been more proud of her. And she was just said it with passion. And she was just like, and that's all I have to say. And she shut off the camera. And I was just like, oh, please stay like that forever. Forever.

Please. And I just hope we can have that impact on so many other girls because, I mean, that was just a moment for me. I'm like, that is just precious in every way. It's inspiring. It's so cool. So inspiring. I'm just going to see if there's any, I did this kind of last minute. So I told people to use the hashtag raw beauty.

Oh, here we go. We got a couple of questions. Nope, I'm not going to read that one. Actually, you know what I am, and I'm going to address something. Okay. I'm going to go there. Aaron Elizabeth asked, why do people try to deny and hide work that they've had done? Botox, just own it if it makes you feel better.

I do own it. I get Botox in my forehead, and I have since I was 25. Yeah. And it was something that I don't know why, but at the age of 20, I started to very heavy lines in my forehead and my girlfriend Jess who is so against Botox or like she loves aging like naturally she's so confident and I just love her for it she even said to me I understand why you got that because it happened for me at such a young age that I just it's something that I wanted to do and I'm I don't think Botox is a negative thing I think it's a

personal preference and I don't think we should be preaching it to young girls or go get this to look prettier but if you're going to an adult and you're in your 20s or 25 or going on 30 and you feel like a little Botox in the forehead makes you feel good then girl you do it you ever everyone's got to do what they need to do with their body at the end of the day we color our hair guys color their hair guys work out at the gym little Botox in the forehead never never heard anybody and I love that you're real about it and honest because that who the the girl who spoke out there are a lot of people who pretend like they don't have it. And then again, we're creating this false image of

what can realistically happen without the help of things like that. And so it's, it is great, too, that you can just be real about it. And I do love because Sean says, like, but I want to grow old with you. I'm like, just because I get Botox doesn't mean I'm not going to grow old. Like, there is no denying that my skin is going to sag soon. You're like, it's coming. I'm not going to go, I'm not going to go under the knife and like, you know, be like, oh, I just got. excited about that one and like but change my face yeah yeah i just get a couple pokes in the old forehead yeah and anybody who's just a couple just a couple just a couple just a couple anyone who's not talking about it it's just because they're not feeling secure about their own decision to do it i really

don't think it's a bad thing i also don't want to um preach it like people should do it it's a personal preference for me whatever's right for you and that's that okay who is you um Jennifer oh dang i hate when I can't pronounce last names. Jennifer Weishan, what? Sure. Who is your greatest inspiration when it comes to raw beauty? Oh, that's a good question. I mean, I have a little bit of a girl crush right now on Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop

and everything that they're about, which is all beauty from the inside out. So very aligned with what I talk about as well. And it's really just taking care of your body through the foods that you're eating. Again, McDonald's can be included in that. once in a while, the way that you're moving, mindfulness activities, the thoughts that you're having. And she's just, I think, an amazing representation of that. That's cool.

I actually really appreciate her, too, especially for being in the public eye like she is. Yeah. Okay, I'm just going to ask one more. Oh, and Jenna Coocher is also amazing. Oh, she's amazing. Yes. She's amazing. I think she's friends with one of the old Des from the Bachelorette a while ago.

I've seen her do some photos with her, but she is very inspiring. I follow her too. and I appreciate everything she posts and stands for. Yes. Very cool. Okay. You know what? It's the same girl, but I actually like this question.

What are three things that you love about yourself? I'm asking you that question. She's asking you. She said, actually, she said both of y'all. Sucker. Hey, we'll get Cleo in on this too. Cleo, what are three things you love about yourself? See?

Positivity. Okay? Your positivity, you are very positive. Oh, my God. I know. It shouldn't be this hard. I honestly don't think it's hard. I think people have a hard time saying it because you feel like you're doing something like you're supposed to be quiet about those things.

Right. No, preach it. What do you love about yourself? You are very positive. My ambition. You have great. Yes, your ambition. And my love for people.

Yes. Amen. Your love for people. We love that too. It is so infectious. I cannot help but be in a good mood around Cleo. No, I know. And she does just, she sees the best in every single person.

You really are a positive person. God, is this turning into the feel good circle? I love it. Next, Erin, what do you love about yourself? I love that I really do care about people. I love my drive and I think I'm smart. You are smart. which sounds so weird to say but I'm just going to no it doesn't what the most nurturing person the most nurturing person as well you are very nurturing being a mom yeah yeah but I just I care about I think that's just in you um okay I'll go you please I I love my sense of humor because I think I'm very witty and I think it takes an intelligent person to have a sense of humor so that will go hand in hand honestly it does you have to be so smart to be witty I thank you for your own

I love, you know, I just have so many that. See, I just made, I just made Aaron loser headphones again. I love my commitment to people. Like, if you're my friend, I will do anything for you. If you are my fiance if you're Sean I wouldn't I just you are my person if you're my family I feel like even from going on the show and now coming off a show like that people come out of the woodworks and I really appreciate my friendships and I feel like I'm good at appreciating the people I have in my life yeah um hmm loyal loyal yes loyal and then I would say I love the voice that I have and being able to help other people if it's even if it's women or like working with charities or having that platform is that something I love about me or is that something I have

you've created that for yourself and I think yeah and I think you're I think a lot of people could be in your position right now and not be giving two craps about that kind of stuff I just sit here and I was like Cleo hurry up say stuff it's so easy and then I got to me and I'm like wait I feel really weird saying this, but I do, I enjoy how I can, how I can help and make others feel. You're so real. Like a couple of the guys from the season had said, like, you know what? You surprised me because you made us all feel very comfortable. And I like that quality about myself.

It's an amazing quality. God, what a, what a great note to end this podcast on. I feel like we're all on a high right now. Totally. Rose A and life highs. Rose A and a love session. Cheers to that. Cheers.

We're drinking out of red solo cups, and I ain't mad. So Canadian. I'm mad. So Canadian of us. I'm so just, that was one of my favorite podcasts just because it is nice to be able to go there and talk about things that could inspire people. And I mean, nine times out of ten, I'm going to just try and make you laugh on my podcast. But I love to go there sometimes and make an impact.

And I think you've done that for our listeners today. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. You are such an inspiration. And again, follow at Rob Beauty Talks. They also, you have a website, raw beauty talks.com. Where else can people find you? Is that what else do you want people to know?

Those are the two main things. We also have a Facebook tribe that is all about, we have health and wellness experts that come in there to share resources and tips and tricks on ways that you can feel the best in your body. Perfect. And then maybe we'll link to a free download. that's called The Practice, 21 Ways to Build Self-Love, and that's something that people can download and kind of go through the different steps.

And I want everybody to do this and do the body scan that you have. What is it? Yeah, the mind-body soul scan. Give us your feedback. Tell us how it made you feel when you take those couple minutes out of your scrolling and do something for yourself and tweet us or, again, use the hashtag RealStagram. And any way you want to get a hold of us, you want to tell us these stories, do it. We love the hearing.

We love it. And also, if you don't want to miss an episode of Off the Vine, which you don't, go to podcast. com, download the Podcast One app, subscribe to Apple Podcasts, leave your rating and review. I read all of them. They make my heart happy because there's really no trolls on there. And even if there is, I'm like, whatever, I've made it, my podcast has made it. I've got haters.

Yeah. Bring it. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's not with OTV? Off the Vine sponsors for this week. Blink. Check out Blink4Home.com slash Off the Vine for Peace of Mind starting at $99.

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