Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Gabby Windey: Relationships, Religion & Rugs

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Back and better than ever… Gabby Windey is in the studio to have some much-needed girl talk with Kaitlyn. It's only been 6 months since they were last on the mic together but they have a lot to catch up on! They cover all the major topics from relationships to religion to rugs. Yep, even rugs. When you combine the weird brains of these two former Bachelorettes, you never know what you’re going to get. They dive into what sparks a fight, how to let yourself feel emotions, and being okay with not wanting kids. Kaitlyn provides a cute couple name for Gabby and Robby (Grabby) and we learn why Gabby might benefit from a calendar. Plus, make sure to keep an eye out for an exciting project on the horizon for Gabby because we need more Gabby! Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: JUST THRIVE – Use code VINE for 20% off the dynamic duo bundle of Just Thrive probiotic and Just Calm when you go to JustThriveHealth.com . OUAI – Go to theouai.com and use code VINE for 15% off any purchase. PROGRESSIVE: Get a quote at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. DRAFT KINGS – Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW, and sign up with promo code VINE. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Michigan/New Jersey/Pennsylvania/West Virginia). Please play responsibly. In partnership with Hollywood Casino at Charles Town Races in West Virginia. All games regulated by the West Virginia Lottery. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. 21+. Physically present in Connecticut/Michigan/New Jersey/Pennsylvania/West Virginia only. Void in Ontario. One per opted-in new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Max match $100 in casino credits which require 1x play-thru within 7 days. See terms at casino.draftkings.com/playerschoice. Restrictions apply. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hey everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. And in studio today, we have Gabby, who, of course, is freaking hilarious. Everything that comes out of her mouth, I'm like, my brain is your brain, and I feel you, and I see you, and I hear you. We talk about dating. We talk about being a woman in this world. We talk about her learning a new religion. And I just enjoyed this conversation.

Thanks for being here. Oh, my God, thank you. I love it here. I feel like you fit in. I feel like you need a podcast if that's not already on the way. But you need what. I feel like you're just pure entertainment or your own TV shows, one of the two. Oh, my God.

Also, cheers. Yes, cheers. Thank you so much for having me. I'm always excited to see you. I love you. And I was literally saying we should drink rosé because I had a full, well, first of all, you see my pants around backwards. My eyes are sausage links.

I'm like, No, you look great. They don't look swollen at all. And you're right, I'm, I'm angry. Yeah. I'm feeling, I'm little angry. And I, when I was in therapy the other day, she was like, well, anger for you is, like, masking sadness.

So, like, your anger is actually probably being really sad and hurt by certain things. But you told me I could lean into anger. Yeah. But that's a good point. We've been taught, like, be a good girl since we were little and, you know, level-headed. and I'm not. It's unbecoming of women to be angry, I think people say, and it's like, I've never been comfortable being angry.

I don't know. I feel like I've always, like, in my previous life, I don't know, just like not wanting to be angry, but it's okay for men to be angry. Right. So I can't women. Also, I think, like, whatever, whatever, any time you're sad, you should also, like, milk that, like, it's cathartic to cry. But not on Instagram, milk it.

Not on Instagram. I mean, I actually do cry on Instagram, but I've always, always done that because I always try to remind myself, like, am I doing this for attention or am I doing it for connection? Because I do love when people are like, I had a bad day too, thank you for sharing. Like, it's, I want to do it for connection, not attention. Right. And you have a really close relationship with your followers. So I think it's important to like let it all hang out when you have the platform. Yes. But like watch sad movies, like eat the ice cream, like lay in bed for two weeks out of time. Like just let yourself like move through it,

knowing that it's temporary. Because I had a girl on my podcast who has a child and she literally said, like, a child needs to move through their emotions to realize, like, maybe they were just hungry and they were tired or they're cranky, but they have to move that, let out that emotion to move past it, and then they're fine. And she's like, we're just grown babies. You still need to, I'm still a baby. Mentally, I am a baby. But, like, moving through, like, actually crying, who doesn't feel better after a good cry? I literally cried myself to sleep last night, and I had the best. It was so, like, I want to hold you. I just rock me in your arms please, but I'm good now.

Yeah, because I literally was, I had the best night. I went to Dancing with the Stars. Oh, my God. And it was such a fun night. Oh, I heard the dancers were really emotional. Charities, I heard. My friend texted me, like, sobbing. Really?

Yeah. It was powerful. Yeah. She, and she's a beautiful dancer. Yeah, she is. I'm like, if I go down in history is the only Bachelorette to not win with the stars. You bet your ass, I will own that until the day I die. You would own it, though.

Also, I've said this before, but you can't win against you. and it's 130 million followers when it's a voting show. No, you respect, Charlie. Like, they're like, the votes are closer than ever. I'm like, yeah, right. Like, yeah, right. I do believe that, though, because Bachelor Nation is passionate. Yeah, they are.

Thank you. Yeah, it's so passionate. But I had such a good night, and then I saw something on Instagram, and then I got a bunch of bullies coming after me, and then I was just like, and then I cried because I was angry, but really I was sad. It was very confusing. Yeah.

But I just poured myself a glass of wine, and then I cried myself to sleep. And I cried yesterday, too. You did? Yeah. Are you okay? I'm fine. Sorry.

Robbie and I thought about her cat. Oh. I know. I forgot to feed her. Oh. Would she like, give me a reminder. I put it in my calendar. Yeah, literally.

I'm like, I'm sorry. It's not my cat. Oh, my God. The schedule was weird, but it was all, it was masking, like, a different feeling. She had been out of town for so long. We don't do well with that. Yeah. Like, I just missed her.

I do that thing where I throw a tantrum when I miss her. It's like she comes home and I'm pissed at her for no reason. It's like because you left me. Yes. It's deep down and then it's just a little bit of resentment that you need to get out. And then you feel better. And then you cry about it. Now, are you too able to get down to the root of the problem when it happens?

Like were you like, I actually just missed you? It took us like four hours. Yeah. It took me like a tearful lunch with a friend. Yeah. Yeah. But like I hadn't seen in so long. Immediately I started crying.

I'm so sorry, but like when you see a friendly face, it just like comes down. Okay, so you, it took four hours, a tearful lunch. Yes, we're both so stubborn. I think that's something like dating other girls, I don't, I feel like women are a little bit more stubborn or it's just both of us, but we're both incredibly stubborn, like we won't give in. Really? Yeah, so it was like, we were fighting about nothing. Isn't it so interesting to not give in when it, because it just could solve the problem so fast if you do?

Literally. I'm like, I don't know. why? Because it was my fault. I mean, you almost killed her cat. Yeah, literally. I'm like, I f***ed up. I dropped the ball. I'm so sorry to your cat. But I, like, just needed a reminder. Yeah. And, like, I would have gone, but she was just on such a busy work trip.

Right. Yeah, it took me a really long time because it was, like, blown out of proportion to. She was like, I can't, like, trust your word. I'm like, okay, can you not? Like, now I'm a liar. Yeah. I'm like, the cat's fine. fed. So what are we fighting about? Like, just let me up the hook, please. They're so stupid. Yeah. They're always about something else. It always. And if we could just put our ego in the back seat and just be like, I f***ed up. Yes. I'm the same way, though. Like, I am so, I would like to find somebody who's not stubborn. Everybody's a little stubborn. I guess it's there's probably a stubborn scale. And I'm on those close to a 10 level. Yeah. Same. Like, off the

charge, it's like a 15. Oh my God. Why did I, I don't know how I got like this. I don't know either, but I, and I need to be right. And I also talked about this in therapy the other day where I, do you ever go into therapy and be like, I actually don't know what we're going to talk about today? And then an hour later, you're like, holy. Yeah, then it's like the best session. I know. That's what just happened to me where I was like, she was like, what do you want to talk about?

I'm like, I don't know. I guess we could dive into like why I'm so competitive. Like I get competitive with like. You have a list of things, like non-topic topics. You're like, well, what about this? Yeah. Should we just like pick what? I'll like put my hand into like a jar and pulling out something.

I'm competitive. What's this about, doctor? But she literally told me, she goes, you don't have the capacity to hold yourself in a place of fear. And when you feel fear or threatened, you just get competitive. And that's your strategy for not sitting with the fear. You go, well, I could do this. And then I could, and why are they doing this?

And like, yeah, so you're like trying to strategize your way out of it. Yes. And she goes, have you ever just felt like in that moment, like, be like, I'm actually just really scared right now. And I did it the other day. I was, I should remember specifically what happened and it'll come to me. But I remember getting insecure about something. And I was about to be like, well, I should post this on Instagram.

And then I'm like, no, you're scared right now. You're just having a little bit of insecurity and fear. Don't get competitive. Just sit with it. And I felt better after like five minutes. Yeah. It takes like, it's like the one, it's like ripping off the Band-Aid. Like we know we're bad at things.

And then the one time you have the wherewithal to like try and make it better. You're like, holy shit, that was actually easy. now I can pave the way for later. She said it's actually a muscle you need to build to have that capacity. And I was like, well, holy shit. Yeah. Take me to church, Angela. Yeah.

like, slide off my chair. You're like having some kind of tournament next where you're like extra competitive. You're like, wait a second. you guys are going to dress up for Halloween. Yes, but you should be like a terrible rug. Oh, that's actually genius. Like, people come for me for my rugs and I literally don't know why. I do.

I've made some bad choices. I do need to find a way to capitalize it. Yes. Make rugs. Holy shit. Literally, somebody was like, yeah, you should do like a collab with a rug company. I'm like, you guys are sick and twisted. And I just want to see my downfall.

Wait, it's like the ugly sweater trend for Christmas. You should just start a line of ugly carpets and they will sell out. Oh, I love this. Yeah. Okay, I want 10%. Yeah. I'm having my first party in L.A. I'm so excited.

I love to host. But I'm like nervous because it's my first one. So we're doing it like on the Halloween, which is a Tuesday. So I feel like it's low stakes. That's true. Yeah. Who has fun on a Tuesday? So the bar is in hell?

Yeah. I want to keep it really low. So, like, everybody, it's, like, you know, exceeding expectations. But, like, Robbie was talking about things she wanted to be without me. And I was like, okay, that's fine. Like, initially way back. Yeah, literally. I'm like, okay.

And I love to, like, dress up for Halloween and, like, make costumes and stuff. Yeah. So she was out of town, so I have an idea for me and my dog. I can't say. Okay, well, yeah, because you don't want people to steal it. So I was like, Robbie, you could be, like, Vince Vaughn. in like the robe you could be like the meatloaf you could be whoever you want to be yeah she wanted to be Justin Justin and Haley Bieber I'm like it's only fun for her though it's like loki

I'm I'm Haley Bieber every day in my own world that's true okay if you were Justin and Haley you should be Justin I would have to be Justin and then she could be Haley yeah yeah but like that would never fly and I'm like everybody's going to be Justin and Haley Bieber like it's just that's like everybody's going to be like something from the Barbie movie everyone's going to be Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. Oh my God, yeah. There's the ones that I always want to think outside the box for Halloween costumes. Like, I've told this story so many times on the podcast. I know all of your costumes. But like one time I was, I dress up like a cowgirl and I had like a deck of cards around my belt and then I had fake hands grabbing my boobs and I was Texas Hold'em. Oh my God. I love it. I just love a good like pun funny. Yes. It's so good. Like a one night stand. I'm like,

oh, that's so good. One time I just tied a bag of chips to me and I was all that with a bag and a bag of You're like, that's right. And I did a bunch of hair flips. That was amazing. Oh, my God, I love it. Oh, at one time I was, I dressed up as a rooster, but I had like a goalie blocker thing on and I was a cock block. Okay, genius. And I would just go up to people at the bars like, if they were like hooking up, I'd be like, right in the middle.

Yeah. I don't get any action. You don't either. I'm sad that, like, Instagram stories and, like, TikToks didn't exist when I was in my, like, prime funny days. Because I did some funny stuff that would have really went viral for me. Yeah. But I'd be canceled now and I wouldn't have a career. Totally. I know. Yeah, it's a double-edged sword.

Well, that'd be fun to host a Halloween party. I'm so excited. Are you going to make it all spooky? I don't know. Maybe like some cobwebs, I guess. Like, now that we're thinking about it. You're like, shit, I never thought about this. Maybe a cobweb? Oh, God. Maybe I'll like, see a ghost somewhere. Yeah. Boo spooky.

Spooky. Oh, my God. I would go, see, this is where I feel pressure with hosting. Like, I would need, I would hire like bartenders that I would. I would hire like spooky bartenders and then I would have like a catering service and then I would make sure the house was decorated. But I, that's a lot of work. It's so much work in its last minute. It's my first one. And it's a Tuesday.

Right. Depending on how this one goes, I hope it becomes like a thing and then I can get better at it. I love that. So we'll see. But I'm going to make like a spooky punch. Oh, who knows what's doing it? Everybody's just like drugged at the end of the night. It's like roulette.

Yeah. I told you it was scary. You fell for it. It's your fault. Good night. That's amazing. I need to switch gears and then I was like, I'm going to. But then I was like, we're laughing so hard.

And then I was going to be like, so let's talk about religion. I'm like, ha. What's interesting, though. Okay, so I interviewed Julie Chen Moonvez, who I'm like a super fan of because I'm obsessed with Big Brother. And she really actually shifted a big thing in my brain of what prayer means to me. And so I was always kind of like, I don't know about God. Like, I don't know if I see a Jesus.

Like, I don't know. And, but I always believed in like a higher power. And like, I love, I think religion is really beautiful and all the different ones. And I just think like my religion to me was like, I believe in a higher power. I don't know what that means. But I started really leaning into prayer lately. Oh, cool. And like, like every night and morning.

You're like every second. Please, please, please, God. For the love of God, please let this podcast do well. Yeah, literally. I'll just super, like, selfish. One million views. I could really use a solid here. I'm going through a tough time.

But I literally morning and night. Yeah. But I use it as gratitude and it's a prayer. And I'm like, it doesn't mean I need to be like, dear Holy Spirit, you know, but like religion is so beautiful. And I love that you're leaning into Judaism and like learning about it. I think that's so beautiful. Oh, thank you.

I know. I have like a couple of things. just right off the top of my head thinking, talking about religion. We just watched the Centenarian documentary on Netflix. Okay. So people who live, like, 100 or close to it, this guy goes to blue zones.

Okay. I don't know. Whatever. Okay. No judgment. Yeah. Sure. But one was, like, obviously it's a lot to do with food

and where you, like, get your nutrition. So it's, like, a lot of cultures kind of surrounded by water with, like, really rich foods. sweet potatoes and they're all like pretty remote but one actually in California Loma Linda was a blue zone and it was like just this community of people who really like leaned into their faith as adults and like they were just connected and very community living and I think a lot of people say their faith helps them live longer and I think just it's a way to feel connected to

something yes so with whoever you're praying to morning and night it's like a good reminder that you're like kind of being like thank you to whoever and just feeling connected to the things outside of you as I get older I become more spiritual I think because when you like you're like holy shit this is actually a miracle then I'm here living this life and haven't fucked it up and like you know overcame whatever you overcame in your past like yeah I think even like going on hikes I feel like really connected to nature now whereas before living in Colorado I'm not going to like walk for fun. Yeah.

Sounds terrible. Yeah. I'd rather like watch housewives. It is interesting though. The older you get, the more you find like purpose in a life too where you're like, you realize how fast everything goes and you're like, it's nice to believe that there could be something after two or like, you know, something, like you said, feeling connected to something outside of you.

Because I know we get so caught up in like Instagram and like work and what we're doing. But it's all such an illusion and it's like all about like. what's actually, what is real? Yeah, no, literally. I have, like, with Instagram, it's, like, so hard, obviously to have, like, a good relationship with it. But I'm like, it literally is just, like, a portal on my phone, like, something that doesn't exist in real life.

It's not tangible. Right. For me, it doesn't, like, whether I have it or not, it's not really affecting my day-to-day, my relationships, what I do. Like, I'm still going to go to the grocery store with or without it. Right. So it just, like, is literally, like, like, a button. And then it, like, it opens up this whole new work.

world, but it's not really like. Now that is spooky. Yeah. It's scary how the one button does open up your whole. And, and especially having a platform, like, right, because you want to invite people in because you like the connection, but you also want to keep them at a distance because it can get scary. Right. You have to have like a healthy relationship with it. But back to Robbie in Judaism. Yes. She, so she grew up Hasidic, which is like, like, cultish. And I think so, yeah, religion has always been like a big part of her. And what I like, like about it is like the tradition. It's a way she prays every night and I'm like, shoot one up from me, baby. I tell him I'm here. So she kind of like takes the grunt work. I'm like

falling asleep and she's like saying her prayer in like Hebrew. I'm like, did you let him know about me? And she does. She's like, I got you. Oh, that's so cute though. Yeah. So I love that part of her and it's like it makes her feel protected like she has maziza's on all her doors which i think is just like little reminders that there is something and i think judism is actually it's just like a say it wrong i said judaism i think it's either i don't really know okay let's care yeah please anybody listening yeah but i feel like it's a very like insightful religion i don't know it just really makes sense i think the way they do things there's like how they determine if um something is kosher or not really depend on how well you treat the animal,

how, like, I think, like, what the animal feeds off of. Like, there's really thought into everything. Like, shellfish is, like, they're bottom feeders, so we don't eat them because they're too low. They're not good enough for us. And I'm like, I can, like, you know, fuck with that. I can fuck with kosher. Yeah, but I like love shrimp.

But it's like, I like the idea of it. You love the bottom feeders. Yeah. I am a bottom feeder. I'm a crustacee chiant. Oh, my God, I love it. Your brain works the same way mine does. Yeah, it's just like keep, like, one thing to the next.

And it's like you just let it come out, which is my favorite, because a lot of people would be like, keep that inside. But we're like, nah. No, just say it. It's more fun. Did you see the Little Mermaid? I didn't. Oh, my God.

Okay. You need to because the little crab is everything. Oh, my God. You sounded like him. Oh, my God. But, yeah, we've been doing Shabbat on Fridays, and it's just like, it's an, it's an, it's an excuse to have a community. It's like she has a lot of Jewish friends naturally just from like having Shabbat and it's immediate connector. She's like I'm Jewish. Oh, you're Jewish and they have

something to talk about. They could be strangers. So it bonds you right away. And then you just have an excuse to get with people on a Friday. And like there's tradition involved, but really it's just about like being with other people. And I bet that's stronger than ever right now like coming together and that's so important. Yeah. It really is. And It's like a way, like, to get me out of the house. I'm like, I'm not leaving. But, like, this is like a little bit. There's more, I don't know, I guess, like a push to do it because it means something.

Yeah, I like that. And I like a little bit, like, when somebody has structure to their life, like, you know, a constant. Like, I love, I love anything that's consistent in a person. And so religion to somebody, like, and getting yourself involved, it just shows respect, first of all, for the relationship. But also something for you. too to like really grow together with because you get to learn and it's yeah there's so much to learn about a religion oh my gosh i love learning from her she's so smart she's obviously just like in it she's been jewish her whole life right jewish people really believe in it yeah you know um i guess like

everybody really believes in their religion well i don't know i question mine all the time yeah i actually don't know like i've just never been strong in her religion so it's really it's just really honestly cool to see and it's really fun we like loosely I always like talk about maybe converting, which like I'm kind of down with. It's hard. It's like time consuming and kind of hard, but I'd be down. Yeah, I could see you doing that. I feel like you're a committer. Yeah, yeah. You do commit. Are you two living together? No, not yet, but it seems like it, which is actually like good for us, I think, right now. Because we already spend so much time together and we both have really busy lives that it's nice to have like the separation.

But how do you? Are you like, okay, You sleep at your place tonight? Like once or twice a week. So not that much because honestly our animals. No, that's more than what I thought. Yeah, yeah. It's more than I'd like. I'm like constantly trying to lure her in.

I'm like, look, I made you a space in my drawer and like I'm organizing the bathroom products. All of a sudden there's like a toothbrush for her. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But that's cute. Yeah. No, I love it.

Do you both talk about like what the future holds? Are you like very day to day? Are you like in the moment? Like, what do you, do you talk about what's next? Yeah, of course. We're very committed to each other. Yeah. So we're, like, in it for the long haul.

Yeah. Our six month is coming up. Cute. Oh, my God, cute. I know. And you're already fighting about the cat. Yeah. Oh, that's real.

Yeah. It's real. It feels really real because, like, lesbians move really fast. Yes. And we just, we've spent a lot of time together. We're both really open emotionally with each other. Like, we want to work hard. That's beautiful, yeah.

Yeah. So I feel like we're real, we're really, we're really, we're really, committed to each other. I feel more committed to her than I have to anyone else. I love that. That's, like, when, you know how something's instantaneous, like, when you meet somebody and you go, oh, I think, like, I even can feel that in friendship sometimes. Like, you're like,

oh, I know this person's going to be in my life for a long time. Did you feel that with her? Yes, I felt something. I didn't know what it was. Right. Because, like, it was my first, you know, time dating another girl. I was dealing with so much other stuff. Like, honestly, a lot of shame.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, I think is, like, natural. and because I've been, like, gaslit by our culture, that, like, homosexuality is still terrible? So I'm like, is there something wrong with me? Right. Is it a product of something that went on, like, in my childhood, like, kind of still associating it with something bad? Right.

I was in therapy, basically just took it day by day. And then something flipped with time, and it's, like, just the best relationship I've ever been in. And I think that's where it's cool where you, like, you're like, wait, this feels. so safe and this feels so right and then you get to fully like share your authentic self and be like wait I've I've been made to feel a certain way for so long but like this is who I truly am yeah it's a lot of like trusting it you know it's like I know it's like listening to your gut or your mind like which one takes over yeah and I think I think you have to kind of wait

so they can like converge but it takes a while but it's like always since the day we met I never wanted to be without her. Wow. So I was like, I got, I'm going to cry. That's so sweet. I just had to listen to that. It's like no matter what's going on or my doubts about honestly myself and my ego and like what was going on with me. Like as long our time together was she makes me laugh like nobody else has. She makes me feel so special. We're just like a real team. Yeah. And I think like that's the part you have to trust and it will come with time. And I think now finally everything's aligning. I don't have any questions. But we're still new. So we're still actively figuring out things about each other. Of course. So, like, we're both kind of at the place. I take things much slower than her.

Okay. But I think it's a good balance. That is a good balance. I mean, six months, you really start to know somebody at six months. I feel like, because you've gone through, do you believe in honeymoon phases? Um, I guess. I don't know. I'm like, why do you? Well, because I, like, I'm such a psycho about, like, well, love's going to die after six months. Like, I'm such a, but that's my own shit. But I love the idea of a honeymoon, like, just like turning, this is how I need to think of love. Like, of course, it's like a honeymoon phase and you're on your best behavior and everything's so

great. But then the next step is like real authentic love where it's like, it's like a level up. I think of it as a level down, but I need to think of it as a level up. Yeah. Yeah. I think also, like, I still feel like I'm in the honeymoon. phase. I feel like we just hit our honeymoon phase actually at like six months. I don't know because now like you. That gives me help. Yeah. Because I think before not I'm distrusting, but it's like obviously

I had things in my childhood that it's like I couldn't necessarily like trust the people around me. So you really have to just learn by experience and being with this person. So now I feel like the last maybe month or so I trust her intentions. Wow. It's like even when we fight, I know she doesn't want to hurt me. And I know it's coming from somewhere else. So instead of focusing on the fight, we're giving each other grace. That's really cool. And I think it's just like brought us so much closer. Like I think about her constantly. I always want her in my bed. Yeah. Like it's like I really feel the love now. Yes. I don't know. I just feel like I wonder what that feels like. And then I wonder if I put too much pressure on what that's supposed to feel like. And then I get so confused.

And then I'm like, bitch, you're 38. Figure it out. Kind of. I don't know. I think it's all experiencing with the right person. I feel like love changes with each person that you're with. And yeah, I think at the beginning with Robbie, I was like, it almost felt too safe. You know, so I'm like, I don't know if I'm getting like the endorphin rush that I should be. I don't know if this is it for me as much as you say it is for you, but it's just because of like the safety and now I can really lean in. I love that. I think like just the emotional connection. I feel like I haven't been as emotionally connected my previous relationships as I have with her, whether that's gender, maturity, the person, age.

But it's like, it takes two, you know, as much as I want this good relationship and to be bonded emotionally, so does she. Yeah. And she understands herself. I think my problem, like, with dating before is, like, the guys I was dating didn't understand themselves. Yes. It's like, so we would talk about things that they couldn't actually articulate, like,

they could maybe say what they thought they were feeling, but they didn't know where it was coming from. So it's like what I feel like I'm going to bang my head against the wall. Yeah. It always like I feel like I'm constantly trying to understand myself and I will do like any healing journey I can think of to get there. And I constantly want to just like be so in tune with who I am as a human, why I am the way I am. And I want to be able to articulate it to people and especially in relationships. It's almost not even about the words. It's like the connection. Yeah. Like do you feel heard and it's not. not always just about what you're saying, but like your body language, like, how you want to get to know me. Yes. So I feel like that I've only just now. Yeah. And heard and you want to see and hear her. Right.

And we don't, like, we're not perfect. Like, we speak very different languages. Her and I. Well, we speak, it's like both being women definitely helps because there's a layer that you don't have to explain to somebody else. Yeah. But as far as, like, she is very extroverted. She grew up with nine siblings.

Oh, holy shit. She's like, yeah, she's, like, fighting for attention. Yeah. She has no fear. Like, she had a great, like, she had a grandpa and a great uncle who were, like, the shit and, like, always gassed her up, like, her head so big because of these two guys. I love it. And I'm, like, honestly, like, such a good thing for you to have.

Yeah. But, like, I'm kind of the opposite. My childhood was much different. Right. So the way we go about things is really different. But I think she also, like, both of us don't really have an ego about something. It's like, this is what I need, and it's going to be like, okay, thanks for letting me know. I'm going to try and figure out how to do it.

Right. Like, it's not, it's really just not personal. It's, like, just breaking down the walls so you can, like, act, like, accurately communicate your needs. Wow. So you guys are just getting started. We're just getting started. That's it, because six months ago you were here and I was like, Vinnie, like, and I'm like, no. Literally, I know.

I'm like, thank God. Like, love him, but I don't think so. It's so funny. just how much things can change and that's what like I always try and explain to people on the podcast and then sometimes I have to like practice what I preach because I get so stuck in a pity party or in like a rabbit hole of like well where is this going or what am I going to do now and poor me and then I'm like no this is all part of life and something I could turn the corner and something could happen and right my life could change totally I think being single is hard

Like, I know what people, like, kind of want to glorify it, like, step into your power, like, this and that, blah, blah, blah, attract, don't chase. And it's like. I'm a relationship girly. Yeah. And no matter what you say, being single is hard. Hard. Like, I'm so glad I'm not single. Like, I'll say it. I crave, like, compatibility. Yes. And, like, I think that's what I miss the most from my last relationship is I'm like, oh, I miss having, like, a friend. Right. Yes. Yeah. Because you're just not constantly thinking about yourself the whole day. Yeah. like get to focus on somebody else yeah and i think that's okay like wanting a relationship is totally fine and normal and a part of the human experience it is part of the human experience we all want it yeah we literally all crave it and want it i like alone time for sure and i like i'm trying to like really lean into like i'm single but i want to find someone right yeah and that's like you know i think i'm at a place where i'm like okay i really know what i want right totally and i think that'll help too. I mean, ultimately just like experience. Like, Robbie and I

have both had very, like, and you know, you've had such like a dating life before. It's like you just weed out and you find what you want and what's important. I'm curious how you feel about like sharing a relationship because I'm... Polyamory? I'm like, Ner?

No, I mean, like, the next person I date, I don't want to share my relationship. I want it to be completely for me, I want, I feel like Instagram really ruined my last two relationships. I really do believe it. Yeah. And so I'm scared. So I want to know your thoughts on what made you be like, I'm going to share this. Because Bachelor Nation and people who follow, like, obviously get very invested in our love lives. And that's why they follow us too, because they've watched you go from

like finding love to being in love. Yeah. And they, it's, they're rooting for you. Right. So I'm like, I don't know in the next relationship I get in, I'm scared to share it. Yeah. Yeah, I hear that. I'm like, I'm like, I'm sorry not. I mean, it's hard not to, obviously, because of our platform, I think part of us, like, I mean, I would just want to be proud of it, and I want to be able to share my day-to-day. Yeah, and it's, well, now it's, and it's who you are, and that would feel like you were hiding something, and that's obviously not who you are.

You are a prideful person who wants to share who you are as a person, and that's why people love you. And that's what I get scared of, too, because I'm like, I want to share and be, proud but I also am like terrified yeah I feel like you because you were a different era than me too yeah and I feel like the people who follow you and like you're kind of like people who are loyal to you are different yeah and like it's like a little more vocal and I think that's just going back to having a healthy relationship with social media it's like it's unnatural because now all of a sudden you're connected you have like too much million followers or something.

Yeah. That's like, when would you ever be in the room with two million people? Right. Never. And if you were, they wouldn't have one bad thing to say about you. Right. I think, like, with the life that we chose comes the criticism, unfortunately. But I'm like, haters going to hate.

Yeah. I'm like haters means I made it. I agree with you. I actually don't, I don't mind the hate. Yeah. It's more of, I get hate really bad all the time. And sometimes I'm like, bring it on. And other times I'm like, my.

Yeah. But I think about putting a relationship, I feel like that's like inviting people to have noise in the relationship. But I feel like, and again, different audiences, I feel like you too, and I might be wrong, get a lot of support. Yeah. Do you? I agree.

That's amazing. And I shouldn't let it bother me regardless, like if people are hating or supporting, but for some reason I'm so jaded now with relationships. No, I know. But it's like you obviously like don't deserve it. And it's like, why would you subject your next relationship to it? you know. Yeah. So I think also I try, it's a balance of like when I engage and what, what information I release on social media. I think like a longer form, like a podcast or like an

interview somewhere where you really get to talk about it. And so I try and keep it pretty minimal and not like totally answer questions. It's like you don't know that ends and outs in my relationship and this is not the place to talk about it. Right. So, I'm just going to like innately protect myself. That's true. Like take it for what it is. It's a fun platform. Share the fun.

And you two look like you have so much fun together. Yeah, we do. And that's so important too. God, I want somebody to make me laugh. Oh, it's the best. I'm craving someone who makes me laugh.

It's like night and day. I knew I always wanted it, but I didn't know like that it would make this big of a difference. And she is like the funniest person I've ever met and the funniest person a lot of other people have other met. Like, which is saying a lot because she's a comedian and all her friends are comedians. So I do feel like I got lucky, but like we both just don't take things so seriously. We're like quick to stop a fight with a joke and just always, like sometimes she will get mad,

which I've had this with other partners too, is like if I'm being like too silly for her and she's like in like a sexy mood. Yeah, and you're like, yeah, she'll like get mad. I'm like, no bitch. Like you don't, you're not the only one who like gets to goof around. And that comes with time. now it's like we'll be goofy together yeah which I love I love that I feel like goofy together is goals oh yeah say that anymore yeah sometimes I really day I thought like Wells was telling me about a term called the Riz or just Riz yeah what I'm like I'm like I'm officially at the point of my life where I'm

like okay I'm not the young spring chicken anymore like I yeah I'm pushing 40 no it's hard to keep up also like I went I was single for a lot of my 20s And, like, well, Bachelor, Bachelor, like some of my 30s. So I don't want to be like, single is so fucking heart, Caitlin. Like, I don't want it to come off like that. Like, you will. Ultimately, with every breakup, you're setting yourself up for the right person. Yeah.

And I know it's really hard to see, but, like, I know that innately for you. Like, you're just going to find it. I believe I will. And, you know, it's more, people are like, you went on the Bachelor, like, to find love. And that's what marriage did and blah, blah. And I'm like, I don't care. I might get married one day. I might not.

I might have kids. I might not. You talk openly about not wanting kids. Yeah. Do you get backlash for that? Maybe. I don't know. I want your following.

Yeah. They seem so, like, accepting. Yeah. I have, like, a very good, solid accepting. Like, I love them and I feel like they're the listeners of the podcast. Yeah. But so many people, like, I go back and forth on wanting kids so bad. I'm 38.

I have my eggs frozen. But at the same time, I'm like, I don't. know if I want to bring kids into the world and I know everyone can have their opinions on that but also like I crave being a mom I feel like I was put on this planet to be a mom yeah but it terrifies me to have kids so what what made you sure in your decision I honestly don't know I just I never thought about having kids oh so it's always okay not like even as a little girl I never not I mean yeah I'd say my maternal instinct is pretty lacking I'll say it but even in like What are you like as a dog mom?

Yeah, love him. But he has no discipline. He's terrible. Like, I can't do like that. I'm just getting into training. He's six. It's too late. It's like more fun for me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, no, it's not. I'm really good with kids. Yeah. I think you, you too, probably just like being so goofy and you can get on their level. I was always taking care of myself as a kid. Like, so I never got to be a kid right now. I feel like I'm just now starting to.

live and like yeah to be like I don't like take care of myself like financially emotionally yeah and I'm 32 so it's like why I can't like jump in because I'm missing that whole phase of my life where like I get to be a kid yeah and I feel like now I get to and I want to and this is how I want to live my life and I honestly just never thought about it it was so I'm like maybe that's a sign but that's okay like I feel I hate when people get shamed for decisions yeah I didn't even make it It's just like, it's not, you're like, it was never a decision. No. This is what it is.

Right. And I think if I was, like, if I ended up marrying a man who I remember, I would literally pray and be like, I know I'll find the right guy if, or I'll know, like, a God exists if I end up with a guy who doesn't want kids. Because I felt like it could never be my decision, which shows kind of, I think, the internalized misogyny, like, like, we're just here, we're a vessel, we're here to procreate. this world is so overpopulated it's like having kids now like so what so they have to be in private school like they have social media like all these things that are working against you all the

technology like it's just not as easy as it was it really is and there's no right way to do it not saying you can't do it but it's like you have to really want it that's the thing too is in a relationship I've talked with people about wanting kids or like what that would look like you have to be in such a solid place with like all my friends have kids and they're like you need to be in the most solid place in life with your relationship to then because no matter what it's going to be hard and I feel like I've never been in that place where I'm like I could do this with somebody like there's always something in the back of my mind where I was like I couldn't do it I couldn't we'd have very different parenting styles and that's another thing that's so hard and yeah I mean of course

like divorced parents or things that I saw it's like I'm like I don't know I like do you want that added stress. Right. Yeah. And I'm like, I love being an aunt and I love being a godmother and I love kids so much and it doesn't mean I hate kids because I might not have them. Yeah. It's just such a deep topic that people get very invested in and very passionate about. Right. And I just wondered if you felt any backlash from people or if all of your followers are just so great. They haven't said much. I will say this is maybe the first time I've talked about it at length. Okay. And I was kind of like, it's like now that I'm in, like, a lesbian relationship, there's not as much pressure because you immediately take it off the table. It's like, what does that tell you, too? Now, because, like, anatomy and biology

doesn't add up. Then I'm, like, then it's just, like, kind of a cop out. It's not a discussion. So then, I don't know, I was thinking about this other, the other day. Yeah, people, I don't know, kind of come for, like, whatever, being in a relationship with the same sex. And, like, just that, It's like a sin, you know, leaning on religion. It's not supported by your doctrine. I understand that. Why isn't it supported? Because we're meant to, like, procreate.

Right. So then, like, but then, yeah, being in a heterosexual relationship, some people just don't want to have kids, but they don't get the same hate as being in the same sex of a relationship. So it's like it really just like flips the script without really needing to because ultimately I think you just have to, it's like we're all people. We want what we want. I'm not hurting any.

by not having kids. That's what my therapist always says to me. If I am feeling shame or guilt for something, she goes, did you hurt anybody? Is anybody hurt? And I'm like, well, physically or? Right. Because they seem really hurt because I'm like, no, I didn't.

Nobody got hurt. Like, people act like these decisions. They're so, yes. It's like, it's just so interesting. Yeah. I think at the end of this podcast, I think of the takeaway for me is that I am a lesbian. Yeah. Honestly.

You're at here first. Honestly, I'm like, does Robbie have any friends? It's the better way. It's fun. Chriselle was talking to me about it the other day too because I just, I admire Chrisel and G. Phillips so much that I see the way that they treat each other behind the scenes. And it is fucking beautiful.

Like, I just, I admire their relationship, but I feel like you two are probably the same way. There's some, like, there's something special and magic about it. I think just because women are better and special and then we get to, treat each other nicer, and it always feels like you're kind of doing something bad. It's like a little taboo. Yes, so it just makes it

more fun. What does Robbie think about how Bachelor Nation is? Was she a Bachelor fan? Yes, she was. She loves Bachelor Nation. Oh, that's awesome. She's like, I won the Bachelor. You did, babe. I'm like, we're here. That's awesome. I love it. So obviously she

does, like, comedy stuff all the time. What is next for Gabby? Oh, my God. I wish I was begging begging, begging, begging. There's something really exciting coming. You can't say? I know. I can't, like, talk about the details, but it's really soon. I can't wait to be able to share it. Okay. I know. So please, I'm asking you guys to hold on for dear life, but I'm on the edge of my seat. But it's so close. It's like teetering. It's like just, I'm excited. Yeah. Hopefully by, I don't know, maybe in the next couple weeks. Okay, exciting. I love when people are just so who they are and

authentic and I feel like that person always wins and I mean win in like the best way possible where I'm like you can only try and be somebody for so long without like emotionally drowning and like getting lost in that when you just own who you are and you just like whatever you do it's going to be successful oh my god thank you yeah that means a lot coming from you I really believe it like there are certain people where I'm like you because you are so authentic to who you are and you're just living your full truth whatever you do will work I thank you it means a lot and I hope so because it is scared I mean, choosing this kind of life and, like, sharing everything about yourself. So there's a lot of, like, vulnerability that comes with it.

But it's like, I think what I've learned from being on The Bachelor, you know, I think I was one of the first, like, of its kind to, like, not come from a traditional home. And I got so much support. So it's like, no matter what, there are people who are wanting that voice. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. You are a voice for a lot of different women out there, which is really cool, like, a lot. And, you know, that's obviously not showcased a lot on TV.

It's usually like the girl next door, you know, and the close family and the this. And that's very much what, I mean, that's why we're all brainwashed. Yeah, yeah, you know. So you get to come in there and live your truth and have other people feel seen, too, which is. Yeah. I just gave you two thumbs up. Two thumbs to you. Right.

So got on you. Oh, my God. Would you and Robbie ever do a biz collab? Oh, like a business? Yeah. I don't know. We like, everyone's like throwing a. ideas and we're like okay you guys we just have to make sure like our relationship is like the baby

first but I think naturally we're both like very career-minded yeah so I think in the future like it wouldn't be a no yeah I could I could just see that's why I say okay I'm gonna play one game with you before I let you go okay please it's cool it's called grabby groby grabby grabby what do we call it grabby grabby that's Gabby and Robbie yeah you guys have a couple name no but I do Gravy. Gravy. Wait, grabie is actually so cute. It's like old lady.

Yeah. But I picture like Gravy. Like, yeah, grabie. That's so cute. And we add an IE to everything. That's another fun thing about being with the girl is everything becomes like so cutesy. We're like, give me kissy. What I want a huggy?

Like, oh, you want Denny? Like, it's like so annoying, but actually so fun and cute. I'm obsessed. I saw you two being interviewed by Bethany Frankel, which how cool is that? So cool is that. So cool. And I was just like, I'm obsessed. Like, I could be a fly on your wall at all times.

Yeah, no, it's so sick. But it's like so fun. Like, I want that. I want to be so cute and annoying with somebody. It's the best. Yeah. We're like so cuddly. I know.

Damn it. Yeah. What am I doing with my life? Get yourself a girl. I might. Okay. Most likely to grabby. Grabby?

Who's most likely to, Robbie or Gabby? Okay. Eat something off the floor. Me. She's such a German. I'm like chill out. Oh my gosh. I bite my nails after a plane ride. I don't. I'm like, whoa. That just got weird. I don't really get sick very often. Yeah, there you go. I have a good immune system. Kill a spider in the house. Me. She's such a baby. Really? Yeah, I'm like, I told her this

the other day. I'm like being in a relationship with another girl is like being a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time. And I pick up a lot of the boyfriend duties. I know, which I'm like leaning in, but it's not easy. What about be late for an event? Oh, God, me. She's never late. She's so punctual. Let a toot out in an elevator.

That's one thing that we don't really. Have it done it? No, not really. We're both like very, like, well, no, she's really anti. I think because being in a relationship with the same sex, it's easy to blur the lines. Yes. So we have to be extra careful because, like, in my past, like, dating a boy, like, they'd always fart, so then I'd fart. Yeah.

If you're fighting me fart. Like, I think farts are just funny. So do I. But with her, it's like, no. Oh, okay. So, but her, she's, but I would say her. Okay. She knows why.

Yes. This is, this is, I'm going to have Robbie on the podcast next for a confession. Okay. Who's more likely to forget the other's birthday? Me, because I did. I just emailed her an event last night. I was like, should we go to this? And she's like, oh, sure, we can just celebrate my birthday the next day.

I'm like, oh my God, so sorry. We have a trip planned. I'm like, ugh. It's just my brain. It's useless. Yeah. Screen door on a submarine. That's what I call my brain sometimes.

Yeah. What's the point? Okay, who's more likely to get a random tattoo? Me, she has no tattoos. Oh, I'm getting one tonight. Oh, my God, fun. I don't know. Oh, my God.

Good for you. I don't know. Yeah, I'll think. I'm literally going to an event where there's a tattoo artist, and I will not leave a party with a tattoo artist until I get one. Oh, my God, fun. Would you ever do the inner lip? No, because one of my girlfriends did, and it comes off right away.

Oh, annoying. Yeah. She had hoodlum. It's amazing. Okay, who's more likely to bring home a new pet? Me. She's so responsible. You have no idea.

I love it. Okay, what about forget deodorant? Probably me, honestly. I'm always, yeah, I'm always asking her for deodorant. She's very put together. Really? Yeah. Except for when she's not, but she's always put together except for when she's not.

Yeah. I thought I had something better there, but I just repeated what it's there. No, but it is. It's like a 180 for her. It's so funny. Do you have a confession? Yes, I got a one actually, which is like kind of similar to last time, not mine, but we were talking about dirty water. Yeah.

So, and it always has to do with my dog because that's my whole life. Yeah. But he was like, I don't know, a little barfie. the last couple days which isn't abnormal for golden doodles but it went on for longer than I would have liked and expected and then he was having diarrhea

and like acting weird so I was like what is going on and like I clean out his water bowl with like hot water but I don't really put in the dishwasher and I don't do it that often I switched his water bowl and he was totally fine

really? I think I made him sick yeah but he like literally likes his own asshole I watch him every day what's wrong with a little dirty water I know. I'm like, I rins it out. I actually, my mom told me, she was like, how often are you washing the dog bowls? Because apparently that's a thing, like, built up bacteria in the water. And I'm like, okay, good to know.

On that same note, Pino had diarrhea all night the other night. Oh, no. So, were you up on night? Pino, he is the sweetest dog I've ever met in my life. Like, he is so sweet. Raman will bark in my face and be like, bitch, get me outside. Now I got to go. And Pino will be like, oh.

I don't want to wake her up and he'll just start doing laps and so I woke up and I was like why is Pino staring at me he's always like out through the night so I let him out and he immediately ran and was like every three hours

he needed to go and I'm like sitting there just cutting diarrhea wet diarrhea out of his fur at like three in the morning being like oh my god he was for a baby but like I don't ever want him to feel shame so I'm like good job going out good boy

Oh, and I'm just cutting, like, staking diarrhea on my hand. Then did you bite your fingernails? And then I bit my fingernails. You're like, yes. And you know what? Never felt better. And you know what? Liked it.

Well, I can't wait to find out what you're doing. Yay, me either. Oh, God, dear. I asked everybody. I'm like, can I finally talk about it? Because even six months ago when you were here, you were talking about something. I know. That's how long it's been in the works.

It's literally going to put me in my grave. But I will survive. You're like, but I will be there with a paycheck because this is going to be good. Yeah, I'll be rising from the dead, like, told you bitch. You know that, TikTok? When people are like, when people at the restaurant start gossiping, you're like, you like rise from the dead, that'll be you. Yeah, literally.

I can't wait. Thank you. I would tell everybody where they will find the news when it comes out. Please, on my Instagram. Which is? At gabby. I have a TikTok. Gabby Wendy, low-key, think it's slept on.

But that's it. On her, well, I was going to say Snapchat. I'm all. I'm out of here. Okay. Thank you so much. I'm freaking adore you. You're amazing.

I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. See your next Tuesday. Dive into true crime on Pluto TV. with forensic files and 48 hours. Investigate crimes with Dateline 24-7 and unsolved mysteries. With thousands of free crime movies and TV shows, Pluto TV is the true home of crime. Download the Pluto TV app on all your favorite devices and start streaming true crime.

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