Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Gabby Windey | Relationships, Religion & Rugs (REPEAT)

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

#836. REPEAT OUR GREATEST HIT EPISODES:Back and better than ever… Gabby Windey is in the studio to have some much-needed girl talk with Kaitlyn. It's only been 6 months since they were last on the mic together but they have a lot to catch up on! They cover all the major topics from relationships to religion to rugs. Yep, even rugs. When you combine the weird brains of these two former Bachelorettes, you never know what you’re going to get. They dive into what sparks a fight, how to let yourself feel emotions, and being okay with not wanting kids. Kaitlyn provides a cute couple name for Gabby and Robby (Grabby) and we learn why Gabby might benefit from a calendar. Plus, make sure to keep an eye out for an exciting project on the horizon for Gabby because we need more Gabby!If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals!Covergirl: Superboost your lashes with NEW Lash Blast Supercloud Mascara from COVERGIRL! Clump-free, smudge-free, and lasts up to 24 hours—perfect for any look! Only from Easy, Breezy, Beautiful COVERGIRL.Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.Wayfair: Shop the best selection of home improvement online. That's WAYFAIR.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.Figs: Go to WearFIGS.com and use the code FIGSRX to get 15% off your first order. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:(5:34) Dating girls? Double the stubborn!(15:49) How Gabby found herself leaning into Judaism—shoutout to love (and Robbie).(23:37) Gabby spills on her relationship!(40:20) Gabby gets real about the choice not to have kids.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

Hey, Vinoes, real quick, if you are listening right now, which obviously you are, you wouldn't be hearing this, can you hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're on? Please, that one simple thing helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast and making these episodes the best they can possibly be obviously for you. That's the only favorite I'm going to ever ask, okay? It truly means the world to me. Thank you. Now, let's get into it.

Hey, everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, with all of the beverages in front of me. I got coffee, water, and wine. This feels very standard for me. And in studio today, we have Gabby, who, of course, is freaking hilarious. Everything that comes out of her mouth, I'm like, my brain is your brain, and I feel you, and I see you and I hear you. We talk about dating. We talk about being a woman in this world. We talk about her learning a new religion. And I just enjoyed this conversation with her.

First of all, thanks for being here. Oh my God. Thank you. I love it here. I feel like you fit in. I feel like you need a podcast if that's not already on the way. But you need what. I feel like you're just pure entertainment or your own TV shows. One of the two. Oh, my God. Also, cheers. Yes, cheers. Thank you so much for having me. I was always excited to see you. I love you. And I was literally saying we should drink Rose because I had a fly. Well, first of all, you see my pants around backwards. My eyes are sausage links. I'm like... No, you look great.

They don't look swollen at all. And you're right. I'm angry. Yeah. I'm feeling a little angry. And when I was in therapy the other day, she was like, well, anger for you is like masking sadness. So like your anger is actually probably you being really sad and hurt by certain things.

But you told me I could lean into anger. Yeah. But that's a good point. We've been taught, like, be a good girl since we were little. and, you know, level-headed, and I'm not. It's unbecoming of women to be angry, I think, people say, and it's like, I've never been comfortable being angry. I don't know.

I feel like I've always, like, in my previous life, I don't know, just, like, not wanting to be angry, but it's okay for men to be angry, so I can't women. Also, I think, like, whatever, whenever, anytime you're sad, you should also, like, milk that. Like, it's cathartic to cry. But not on Instagram, milk it. Not on Instagram.

I mean, I actually do cry on Instagram, but I've always done that because I always try to remind myself, like, am I doing this for attention or am I doing it for connection? Right. Because I do love when people are like, I had a bad day too. Thank you for sharing. Like, it's, I want to do it for connection, not attention. Right. And you have a really close relationship with your followers. So I think it's important to like let it all hang out when you have the platform.

Yes. But like watch sad movies, like eat the ice cream, like lay in bed for two weeks at a time. Like just let yourself like move through it, knowing that it's temporary. Because I had a girl on my podcast who has a child, and she literally said, like, a child needs to move through their emotions to realize, like, maybe they were just hungry and they were tired or they're cranky, but they have to move that let out that emotion to move past it. And then they're fine. And she's like, we're just grown babies. You still need to come. I'm still a baby. Mentally, I am a baby. But, like, moving through, like, actually crying, who doesn't feel better after a good cry? I literally cried myself to sleep last night. And I had the best. I'm like, I want to hold you. I just rocked me in your arms place, but I'm good now. Yeah, because I literally was, I had the best night. I went to dancing with the stars.

Oh, my God. And it was such a fun night. Oh, I heard the dancers were really emotional. Charities, I heard. My friend texted me, like, sobbing. Really? Yeah. It was powerful.

Yeah. She, and she's a beautiful dancer. Yeah, she is. I'm like, if I go down in history is the only bachelor to not win, to do with the stars, you bet your ass, I will own that until the day I die. You would own it, though. Also, I've said this before, but you can't win against 130 million followers when it's a voting show. No, you respect, Charlie.

Like, they're like, the votes are closer than ever. I'm like, yeah, right. I do believe that, though, because Bachelor Nation is passionate. Yeah, they are. Thank you. They're so passionate. But I had such a good night, and then I saw something on Instagram, and then I got a bunch of bullies coming after me. And then I was just like, and then I cried because I was angry, but really I was sad.

It was very confusing. Yeah. But I just poured myself a glass of wine, and then I cried myself to sleep, and... I cried yesterday, too. You did? Yeah. Are you okay? I'm fine.

Sorry. Robbie and I fought about her cat. Oh. I know. I forgot to feed her. Oh. Would she like, give me a reminder. I put it in my calendar.

Yeah, literally. I'm like, I'm sorry. It's not my cat. Oh, my God. The schedule was weird, but it was all, it was masking, like, a different feeling she had been out of town for so long, we don't do well with that. So I just missed her. I do that thing where I throw a tantrum when I miss her. It's like she comes home and I'm pissed at her for no reason. It's like because you left me. Yes. It's deep down and then it's just a little bit of resentment that

you need to get out and that's hard. And then you feel better and then you cry about it. Now are you too able to get down to the root of the problem when it happens? Like were you like I actually just missed you? It took us like four hours. It took me like a tearful lunch. Yeah. With a friend. Yeah, yeah, but like I hadn't seen in so long immediately I started crying. I was like, I'm so sorry, but like when you see a friendly face, it just like comes down. So you, it took four hours, a tearful lunch. Yes, we're both so stubborn. I think that's something like dating other girls, I don't, I feel like women are a little bit more stubborn or it's just both of us, but we're both incredibly stubborn.

Like we won't give in. Really? Yeah. So it was like we were fighting about nothing. Isn't it so interesting to not give in when it, because. just could solve the problem so fast if you do. Literally, I'm like, I don't know why, because it was my fault. I mean, you almost killed her cat.

Yeah, literally. I'm like, I f***ed up. I dropped the ball. I'm so sorry to your cat. But I, like, just needed a reminder. And, like, I would have gone, but she was just on such a busy work trip. But, yeah, it took me a really long time because it was, like, blown out of proportion to.

She was like, I can't, like, trust your word. And I'm like, okay, can you not? Like, now I'm a liar. Yeah. I'm like, the cat's fine. She got fed. So what are we fighting about? Like, just let me up the hook, please.

They're so stupid. Yeah. They're always about something else. It always. And if we could just put our ego in the back seat and just be like, I fucked up. Yes. I'm the same way, though. Like, I am so, I would like to find somebody who's not stubborn.

Everybody's a little stubborn. I guess there's probably a stubborn scale. And I'm on those close to a 10 level. Yeah, same. Like off the chart, it's like a 15. Oh my God. Why did I? I don't know how I got like this.

I don't know either, but I need to be right. And I also talked about this in therapy the other day where I, do you ever go into therapy and be like, I actually don't know what we're going to talk about today. And then an hour later, you're like, holy. Yeah, then it's like the best session. I know. That's what just happened to me where I was like, she was like, what do you want to talk about? I'm like, I don't know.

I guess we could dive into like why I'm so competitive. Like I get competitive with like. You have a list of things, like non-topic topics. You're like, well, what about this? Yeah. Should we just, like, pick what? I'll, like, put my hand into, like, a jar and pulling out something. I'm competitive.

You want to talk about it? Like, what's this about, doctor? But she literally told me, she goes, you don't have the capacity to hold yourself in a place of fear. And when you feel fear or threatened, you just get competitive. And that's your strategy for not sitting with the fear. You go, well, I could do this. And then I could, and why are they doing this? And, like, and like.

Yeah, so you're like trying to strategize your way out of it. Yes, I will. And she goes, have you ever just felt like in that moment, like, be like, I'm actually just really scared right now. And I did it the other day. I was, I should remember specifically what happened and it'll come to me. But I remember getting insecure about something. And I was about to be like, well, I should post this on Instagram.

And then I'm like, no, you're scared right now. You're just having a little bit of insecurity and fear. Don't get competitive. Just sit with it. And I felt better after like five minutes. Yeah. It takes like, it's like the one, it's like ripping off the Band-Aid. Like we know we're bad at things.

And then the one time you have the wherewithal to, like, try and make it better, you're like, holy shit, that was actually easy. And now I can pave the way for later. She said it's actually a muscle you need to build to have that capacity. And I was like, well, holy shit. Yeah. Take me to church, Angela. Yeah.

I'm not competitive anymore. I'm like slide off my chair. Yeah. You're like having some kind of tournament next where you're like extra competitive. You're like, wait a second. Yeah, I'm like, wait. is backfiring big time. Relationships, I do

want to talk about relationships. I do also want to know if you guys are going to dress up for Halloween. Yes, but, you should be like a terrible rug. Oh, that's actually genius. Like, people come for me for my rugs and I literally don't know why.

I do. I've made some bad choices. I do need to find a way to capitalize it. Yes, make rugs. Holy shit. Literally, somebody was like, yeah, you should do like a collab with a rug company. I'm like, you guys are sick and twisted.

And I just want to see my downfall. Wait, it's like the ugly sweater trend for Christmas. You should do, you should just start a line of ugly carpets and they will sell out. Oh, I love this. Yeah. Okay, I want 10%. I'm having my first party in L.A. I'm so excited.

I love to host. But I'm like nervous because it's my first one. So we're doing it, like, on the Halloween, which is a Tuesday. So I feel like it's low stakes. That's true. Like, who has fun on a Tuesday? So the bars and hell? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want to keep it really low. So, like, everybody, it's, like, you know, exceeding expectations. But, like, Robbie was talking about things she wanted to be without me. And I was like, okay, that's fine. Like, initially way back. Yeah, literally. I'm like, okay. And I love to, like, dress up for Halloween and, like, make costumes and stuff.

Yeah. So she was out of town, so I have an idea for me and my dog. I can't say. Okay. Well, yeah. I'll tell you don't want people to steal it. So I was like, Robbie, you could be like Vince Vaugh in like the robe. You could be like the meatloaf. You could be whoever you want to be. Yeah. She wanted to be Justin, Justin and Haley Bieber. I'm like, it's only fun for her though. It's like low-key. I'm, I'm Haley Biber every day in my own world. That's true. Okay. If you were Justin and Haley, you should be Justin and then she could be Haley. Yeah. Yeah. But like that would never. fun and I'm like everybody's going to be Justin and Haley Bieber like it's just that's like everybody's going to be like something from the Barbie movie everyone's going to be Taylor Swift and

Travis Kelsey oh my god yeah it's there's the ones that I always want to think outside the box for Halloween costumes like I've told this story so many times on the podcast I know all of your costumes but like one time I was I dress up like a cowgirl and I had like a deck of cards around my belt and then I had fake hands grabbing my boobs and I was Texas Hold'em oh my god I love it I just love a good like pun funny. Yes. It's so good. Like a one-night stand. People were like nightstands. I'm like, oh, that's so good. So it's so good. One time I just tied a bag of chips to me and I was all that and a bag and a bag of chips. You're like, that's right.

And I did a bunch of hair flips. That was amazing. Oh, my God, I love it. Oh, at one time I was, I dressed up as a rooster, but I had like a goalie blocker thing on and I was a cock block. Okay, genius. And I would just go up to people at the bars like, if they were like hooking up, I'd be like, no. Right in the middle. I don't get any action. You don't either. I'm sad that like Instagram. stories and like TikToks didn't exist when I was in my like prime funny days because I did some funny stuff that would have really went viral for me yeah but I'd be canceled now and I wouldn't have a career so totally I know yeah it's a double-edged sword well that'd be fun to host a

Halloween party I'm so excited are you gonna make it all spooky I don't know maybe like some cobwebs I guess I'm like now that we're thinking about it shit I never thought about this maybe a cobweb web oh god maybe I'll like a ghost She's on. A ghost somewhere. Yeah. Boo, spooky. Oh, my God.

I would go, see, this is where I feel pressure with hosting. Like, I would need, I would hire, like, bartenders and I would hire, like, spooky bartenders, and then I would have, like, a catering service, and then I would make sure the house was decorated. But I, that's a lot of work. It's so much work in its last minute. It's my first one. And it's a Tuesday. Right.

Depending on how this one goes, I hope it becomes, like, a thing, and then I can get better at it. I love that. So we'll see. but I'm going to make like a spooky punch. Oh, who knows what's doing it? Everybody's just like drugged at the end of the night. Scary. It's like roulette.

Yeah. They told you it was scary. You fell for it. It's your fault. Good night. That's amazing. I need to switch gears and then I was like, oh, my God, please.

But I was going to, but then I was like, we're laughing so hard. And then I was going to be like, so let's talk about religion. I'm like, ha. Yeah. What's interesting, though, okay, so I interviewed Julie Chen Moonvez, who I'm like a super fan of because I'm obsessed with Big Brother. And she really actually shifted a big thing in my brain of what prayer means to me. And so I was always kind of like, I don't know about God. Like, I don't know if a, I see a Jesus.

Like, I don't know. But I always believed in like a higher power. And like, I think religion is really beautiful and all the different ones. And I just think like my religion to me is like, I believe in a higher power. I don't know what that means. but I started really leaning into prayer lately. Oh, cool. And like every night and morning.

You're like every second. I'm like, please, please, please, please, please, please, please let this podcast do well. Yeah, literally. I'll just like, selfish. One million views. I could really use a solid here. I'm going through a tough time. But I literally, morning and night.

Yeah. But I use it as gratitude and it's a prayer. And I'm like, it doesn't mean I need to be like, dear holy. spirit, you know, but, like, religion is so beautiful. And I love that you're leaning into Judaism and, like, learning about it. I think that's so beautiful. Oh, thank you. I know.

I have, like, a couple things just right off the top of my head thinking, or talking about religion. We just watched the Centenarian documentary on Netflix. Okay. So people who live, like, 100 are close to it. This guy goes to blue zones. Okay. I don't know. Whatever.

Okay. No judgment. Yeah. Sure. but one was like obviously it's a lot to do with food and where you like get your nutrition so it's like a lot of cultures kind of surrounded by water with like really rich foods like sweet potatoes and they're all like pretty remote but one actually in California Loma Linda was a blue zone and it was like just this community of people who really like leaned into their faith

as adults and like they were just connected and very community living and and I think a lot of people say their faith helps them live longer. And I think just it's a way to feel connected to something. Yes. So whoever you're praying to morning and night, it's like a good reminder that you're like kind of being like, thank you to whoever and just feeling connected to the things outside of you. As I get older, I become more spiritual.

I think because when you like, you're like, holy shit, this is actually a miracle that I'm here living this life and haven't fucked it up and like, you know, overcame whatever you overcame in your past. Like, I think even like going on hikes, I feel like really connected to nature now, whereas before living in Colorado, I was like, I'm not going to like walk for fun. Yeah, it sounds terrible. Yeah, I'd rather like watch housewives. It is interesting, though, the older you get, the more you find like purpose in a life too where you're like, you realize how fast everything goes and you're like, it's nice to believe that there could be something after two or like, you know, something, like you said, feeling connected to something outside of you. Because I know we get so caught up in like Instagram and like work and what we're doing.

But it's all such an illusion and it's like all about like what's actually, what is real? Yeah. No, literally. I have like with Instagram, it's like so hard obviously to have like a good relationship with it. But I'm like it literally is just like a portal on my phone. Like something that doesn't exist in real life. It's not tangible. Right.

For me it doesn't like whether I have it or not, it's not really affecting my day to day. My relationships, what I do. like I'm still going to go to the grocery store with or without it. Right. So it just like is literally like a button and then it like it opens up this whole new world. Yeah. But it's not really like that is spooky. Yeah. Like it's scary how the one button does open up your whole. And especially having a platform like. Right. Because you want to invite people in because you like the connection, but you also want to keep them at a distance because it can get scary.

Right. You have to have like a healthy relationship with it. But back to Robbie in Judaism. Yes. So she grew up Hasidic, which is like cultish, and I think, so, yeah, religion has always been, like, a big part of her. And what I like about it is, like, the tradition. It's a way she prays every night, and I'm like, shoot one up from me, baby. I tell him I'm here. So she kind of, like, takes the grunt work. I'm, like, falling asleep, and she's, like, saying her prayer in, like, Hebrew.

And I'm like, did you let him know about me? And she does, she's like, I got you. Oh, that's so cute, though. Yeah. So I love that part of her, and it's like, it makes her feel protected. Like, she has Mazizza's on all her doors, which I think is just, like, little reminders that there is something. And I think Judaism is actually, it's just like a...

Did I say it wrong? I said Judaism. I think it's either. I don't really know. Okay, let's care. Yeah, please. Anybody listening? Yeah.

But I feel like it's a very, like, insightful religion. I don't know. it just really makes sense. I think the way they do things, there's like how they determine if something is kosher or not really depend on how well you treat the animal, how like I think like what the animal feeds off of.

Like there's really thought into everything. Like shellfish is like their bottom feeders so we don't eat them because they're too low. They're not good enough for us. And I'm like, I can like, you know, fuck with that. I can fuck with kosher. Yeah, but I like love shrimp. But it's like, I like the idea of it.

You love the bottom feeders. Yeah. I am a bottom feeder. I'm a crustacea. Oh my God. I love it. Your brain works the same way mine does. Yeah.

It's just like keep like one thing to the next. And it's like you just let it come out, which is my favorite because a lot of people would be like keep that inside. But we're like, nah. No, just say it. It's more fun. Did you see the little mermaid? I didn't.

Oh my God. Okay. You need to because the little crab is everything. Oh, my God. I would love. Oh, my God. But yeah, we've been doing Shabbat on Fridays, and it's just like it's an excuse to like have a community.

It's like she has a lot of Jewish friends naturally just from like having Shabbat. And it's immediate connector. She's like, I'm Jewish. Oh, you're Jewish and they have something to talk about. They could be strangers. So it bonds you right away. And then you just have an excuse to get with people on a Friday. And like there's tradition involved, but really it's just about like being.

with other people. And I bet that's stronger than ever right now, like coming together and that's so important. Yeah, it really is. And it's like a way, like, to get me out of the house. I'm like, I'm not leaving. But like this is like a little bit. There's more, I don't know, I guess, like a push to do it

because it means something. Yeah, I like that. And I like a little bit, like when somebody has structure to their life, like, you know, a constant, like I love, I love anything that's consistent in a person. and so religion to somebody like and getting yourself involved it just shows respect first of all for the relationship but also something for you too to like really grow together with because you get to learn and it's there's so much to learn about a religion oh my gosh i love learning from her

she's so smart she's obviously just like in it she's been jewish her whole life right jewish people really believe in it you know um i guess like everybody really believes in their religion well i don't know i question mine all the time yeah i actually don't know know. I'm like, I've just never been strong in a religion. So it's really, it's just really honestly cool to see. And it's really fun. We, like, loosely, I always, like, talk about maybe converting, which, like, I'm kind of down with. It's hard. It's, like, time-consuming and kind of hard, but I'd be down. Yeah, I could see you doing that. I feel like you're a committer. Yeah, yeah. You do commit. Are you two living together? No, not yet, but it

seems like it. Pretty much. Which is actually, like, like, good for us, I think, right now. because we already spend so much time together and we both have really busy lives that it's nice to have like the separation. But how do you? Are you like, okay, do you sleep at your place tonight? Like once or twice a week. So not that, not that much because honestly our animals. No, that's more than what I thought.

Yeah, yeah. It's more than I'd like. I'm like constantly trying to lure her in. I'm like, look, I made you a space in my drawer and like I'm organizing the bathroom products. All of a sudden there's like a toothbrush for her. Yeah, but that's cute. Yeah, no, I love it. Do you both talk about, like, what the future holds?

Are you, like, very day-to-day? Are you, like, in the moment? Like, what do you talk about? What's next? Yeah, of course, we're very committed to each other. So we're, like, in it for the long haul. Our six month is coming up. Cute.

Oh, my God, cute. I know. And you're already fighting about the cat. Yeah. Oh, that's real. Yeah. It's real. It feels really real because, like, lesbians move really fast.

Yes. And we just, we've spent a lot of. of time together. We're both really open emotionally with each other. Like, we want to work hard. Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like we're really, we're really committed to each other. I feel more committed to her than I have to anyone else. I love that. That's like when, you know how something's instantaneous? Like when you meet somebody and you go, oh, I think like, I even can feel that in friendship sometimes. Like you're like, oh, I know this person's going to be in my life for a long time. Did you feel that with her? Yes. I felt something. I didn't know what it was. Right. Because like it was

my first, you know, time dating another girl. Yeah. I was dealing with so much other stuff. Like, honestly, a lot of shame. Yeah. Which, yeah, I think is like natural. And because I've been like gaslit by our culture, that like homosexuality is still terrible. So I'm like, is there something wrong with me? Right. Is it a product of something that went on like in my childhood? Like kind of still associating it with something bad. Right. I was in therapy, basically just took it day by day. and then something flipped with time and it's like just the best relationship I've ever been in. And I think that's where it's cool where you like, you're like, wait, this feels so safe

and this feels so right. And then you get to fully like share your authentic self and be like, wait, I've been made to feel a certain way for so long, but like this is who I truly am. Yeah. It's a lot of like trusting it. You know, it's like I know it's like listening to your gut or your mind, like which one takes over. And I think. think you have to kind of wait until they can like converge but it takes a while but it's like always since the day we met I never wanted to be without her well so I was like I got gonna cry that's so sweet I just had to listen to that it's like no matter what's going on or my doubts about honestly myself and my ego and like what was going on with me like as long our time together was

she makes me laugh like nobody else has she makes me feel so special we're just like a real team Yeah. And I think, like, that's the part you have to trust, and it will come with time. And I think now, finally, everything's aligning. I don't have any questions. Yeah. But we're still new. So we're still actively figuring out things about each other.

Yeah, of course. So, like, we're both kind of at the place. I take things much slower than her. Okay. But I think it's a good balance. That is a good balance. I mean, six months, you really start to know somebody at six months, I feel like, because you've gone through, do you believe in honeymoon phases?

I guess. I don't know. I'm like, why do you? Well, because I like, I'm such a psycho about like, well, love's going to die after six months. Like, I'm such a, but that's my own shit. But I love the idea of a honeymoon, like, just like turning. This is how I need to think of love. Like, of course, it's like a honeymoon phase and you're on your best behavior and everything's so great.

But then the next step is like real authentic love where it's like, it's like a level up. I think of it as a level down, but I need to think of it. as a level up. Yeah. Yeah, I think also, like, I still feel like I'm in the honeymoon phase. I feel like we just hit our honeymoon phase, actually, at, like, six months. I don't know, because now, like, you... That gives me help.

Yeah. Because I think before, not that I'm distrusting, but it's, like, obviously I had things in my childhood that it's like I couldn't necessarily, like, trust the people around me. Yeah. So you really have to just learn by experience and being with this person. So now I feel like the last maybe month or so, I trust her in 10. Wow. It's like even when we fight, I know she doesn't want to hurt me. Yeah. And I know it's coming from somewhere else. So instead of focusing on the fight, we're giving each other grace. That's really

cool. And I think it's just like brought us so much closer. Like I think about her constantly. I always want her in my bed. Yeah. Like it's like I really feel the love now. Yes. I don't know. I just feel like I wonder what that feels like. And then I wonder if I put too much pressure on what that's supposed to feel like. And then I get so confused. And then I'm like, bitch, you're 38. Figure it out. Kind of. I don't know. I think it's all experiencing with the right person. I feel like love changes with each person that you're with. And yeah, I think at the beginning with Robbie, I was like, it almost felt too safe. You know, so I'm like, I don't know if I'm getting like the endorphin rush that I should be. I don't know if this is it for me as much as you say it is for you, but it's just because of like the safety and now I can really lean in. I love that. I think like just the emotional connection. I feel like I haven't been. as emotionally connected my previous relationships as I have with her, whether that's gender, maturity, the person, age. But it's like, it takes two, you know, as much as I want this good relationship

and to be bonded emotionally, so does she. Yeah. And she understands herself. I think my problem, like, with dating before is, like, the guys I was dating didn't understand themselves. Yes. It's like, so we would talk about things that they couldn't actually articulate, like, they could maybe say what they thought they were feeling.

but they didn't know where it was coming from. So it's like I feel like I'm going to bang my head against the wall. It always, like I feel like I'm constantly trying to understand myself and I will do like any healing journey I can think of to get there. And I constantly want to just like be so in tune with who I am as a human, why I am the way I am. And I want to be able to articulate it to people and especially in relationships. It's almost not even about the words.

It's like the connection. Yeah. Like do you feel heard and it's not always just about what you're saying? but like your body language, like how you want to get to know me. Yes. So I feel like that I've only just now. Yeah. And heard and you want to see and hear her.

Right. And we don't like, we're not perfect. Like we speak very different languages. Yeah. Well, we speak, it's like both being women definitely helps because there's a layer that you don't have to explain to somebody else. Yeah. But as far as like she is very extroverted.

She grew up with nine siblings. Oh, holy shit. Yeah. She's like fighting for attention. She has no fear. Like, she had a great, like, she had a grandpa and a great uncle who were, like, the shit. And, like, always gassed her up, like, her head so big because of these two guys. I love it.

And I'm, like, honestly, like, such a good thing for you to have. But, like, I'm kind of the opposite. My childhood was much different. Right. So the way we go about things is really different. But I think she also, like, both of us don't really have an ego about something. It's like, this is what I need. and it's going to be like, okay, thanks for letting me know.

I'm going to try and figure out how to do it. Right. Like, it's really just not personal. It's, like, just breaking down the walls so you can, like, act, like, accurately communicate your needs. Wow. So you guys are just getting started. We're just getting started. That's it, because six months ago you were here and I was like, Vinnie.

Like, and I'm like, no. Literally, I know. I'm like, thank God. Like, love him, but I don't think so. It's so funny, just how much things can change. And that's what, like, I always try and explain to people on the podcast. And then sometimes I have to, like, practice what I preach because I get so stuck in a pity party or in, like, a rabbit hole of like, well, where is this going? Or what am I going to do now and pour me?

And then I'm like, no, this is all part of life. And something, I could turn the corner and something could happen and my life could change. Totally. I think being single is hard. Like, I know what people, like, kind of want to glorify it, like, step into your power, like, this and that, blah, blah, blah, attract, don't chase. And it's like... But I'm a relationship girly. Yeah.

And no matter what you say, being single is hard. It's hard. Like, I'm so glad I'm not single. Because you're just not constantly thinking about yourself the whole day. Yeah. You, like, get to focus on somebody else. Yeah. And I think that's okay.

Like, wanting a relationship is totally fine and normal and a part of the human experience. It is part of the human experience. We all want it. We literally all crave it and want it. I like alone time for sure. And I'm trying to like really lean into like, I'm single. But I want to find someone. Right.

Yeah. And that's like, you know, I think I'm at a place where I'm like, okay, I really know what I want. Right. Totally. And I think that'll help too. I mean, ultimately just like experience. Yeah. Yeah.

Robbie and I have both had very like and you know you've had such like a dating life before. It's like you just weed out and you find what you want and what's important. I'm curious how you feel about like sharing. a relationship because I'm polyamory I'm like nerd nerds it's hard not to yeah it's hard not to obviously because of our platform I think part of us like I mean I would just want to be proud of it and I want to be able to share my day to day yeah and it's well now it's and it's who you are and that would feel like you were hiding something and that's obviously not who you are you are you are a prideful person who wants to share who you are as a person and that's why people

people love you. And that's what I get scared of too because I'm like, I want to share and be proud, but I also am like terrified. Yeah, I feel like you, because you were a different era than me too. And I feel like the people who follow you and like your kind of like people who are loyal to you are different. Yeah. And like it's like a little more vocal. And I think that's just going back to having a healthy relationship with social media, it's like, it's unnatural because now all of a sudden you're connected, you have like two million followers or something. Yeah. That's like, when would you ever be in the room with two million people?

Right. Never. And if you were, they wouldn't have one bad thing to say about you. Right. I think, like, with the life that we chose comes the criticism, unfortunately, but I'm like, haters going to hate. Yeah. I'm like haters means I made it.

I agree with you. I actually don't, I don't mind the hate. hate. Yeah. It's more of, I get hate really bad all the time and sometimes I'm like, bring it on. And other times I'm like, my. But I think about putting a relationship, I feel like that's like inviting people to have noise in the relationship. But I feel like, and again, different audiences, I feel like you too, and I might be wrong, get a lot of support. Yeah. Do you? I agree. That's amazing. Like, and I shouldn't let it bother me regardless, like if people are hating or supporting, but for some reason I'm so jaded now with relationships. It's like, why? No, I'm.

I know, but it's like you obviously, like, don't deserve it, and it's like, why would you subject your next relationship to it, you know? Yeah. So I think also, I try, it's a balance of, like, when I engage and what information I release on social media. Yeah. I think, like, a longer form, like a podcast or, like, an interview somewhere where you really get to talk about it.

And so I try and keep it pretty minimal and not, like, totally answer questions. It's like you don't know that ends and outs in my relationship and this is not the place to talk about it. Right. So I'm just going to like innately protect myself. That's true. Like take it for what it is. It's a fun platform. Share the fun.

And you two look like you have so much fun together. Yeah, we do. And that's so important too. God, I want somebody to make me laugh. Oh, it's the best. I'm craving someone who makes me laugh. It's like night and day. I knew I always wanted it, but I didn't know like that it would make this big of a difference.

and she is, like, the funniest person I've ever met and the funniest person, a lot of other people have other met, like, which is saying a lot because she's a comedian and all her friends are comedians. So I do feel like I got lucky, but, like, we both just don't take things so seriously. We're, like, quick to stop a fight with a joke and just always, like, sometimes she will get mad, which I've had this with other partners, too, is like, if I'm being, like, too silly for her, and she's, like, in, like, a sexy mood kind of. Yeah, and you're like, whir.

Yeah, she'll, like, get mad. I'm like, no, bitch. Like, you don't, you're not the only one who, like, gets to goof around. And that comes with time. But now it's like, we'll be goofy together. Yeah. Which I love. I love that.

I feel like goofy together is goals. Oh, yeah. Do you think I say that anymore? Goals. Sometimes I really date. Like, Wells was telling me about a term called the Riz or just Riz. Yeah. What?

I'm like, I'm like, I'm officially at the point in my life where I'm like, okay, I'm not the young spring chicken anymore. Like, I'm pushing 40. No, it's hard to keep up. Also, like, I went, I was single for a lot of my 20s and, and, like, well, Bachelor, Bachelor, like some of my 30s. So I don't want to be, like, single is so fucking harm, Caitlin. Like, I don't want it to come off like that. Like, you will.

Ultimately, with every breakup, you're setting yourself up for the right person. Yeah. And I know it's really hard to see, but, like, I know that innately for you. Like, you're just going to find it. I believe I will. And it's more, people are like, you went on the bad. like to find love and that's what marriage did and blah blah and I'm like I don't care I yeah I might get married one day I might not I might have kids I might not but did you talk openly

about not wanting kids yeah do you get backlash for that um maybe I don't know you're following yeah they seem so like accepting yeah I have like a very good solid accepting like I love them and I feel like they're the listeners of the podcast yeah but so many people I go back and forth on wanting kids so bad. I'm 38. I have my eggs frozen, but at the same time, I'm like, I don't know if I want to bring kids into the world. And I know everyone can have their opinions on that. But also, like, I crave being a mom. I feel like I was put on this planet to be a mom. Yeah. But it terrifies me to have kids. So what made you sure in your decision? I honestly don't know. I just, I never thought about having kids. Oh, so it's always, okay. Not, like, even as a little girl, I'd never, not, I mean, yeah, I'd say my maternal instinct is pretty lacking. I'll say it. But even in, like, what are you like as a dog mom? Yeah, love him, but he has no discipline.

He's terrible. Like, I can't do like that. I'm just getting into training. He's six. It's too late. It's like more fun for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, no, it's not, I'm really good with kids.

Yeah. I think you, you too, probably just like being so goofy and can get on their, level. I was always taking care of myself as a kid. So I never got to be a kid right now. I feel like I'm just now starting to live. And like, yeah, to be like I don't like take care of myself, like financially emotionally. And I'm 32. So it's like why I can't like jump in because I'm missing that whole phase of my life where like I get to be a kid. And I feel like now I get to and I want to. and this is how I want to live my life. And I honestly just never thought about it.

It was so I'm like, maybe that's a sign. But that's okay. Like I feel, I hate when people get shamed for decisions. Yeah, I didn't even make it. It's just like, it's not, you're like, it was never a decision. No, this is what it is. Right. And I think if I was, like, if I ended up marrying a man who, I remember, I would literally

pray and be like, I know I'll find the right guy if, or I'll know, like, a God exists. end up with a guy who doesn't want kids, because I felt like it could never be my decision, which shows kind of, I think, the internalized misogyny, like, we're just here, we're a vessel, we're here to procreate. This world is so overpopulated. It's like having kids now, like, so what? So they have to be in private school. Like, they have social media. Like, all these things that are working against you, all the technology. Like, it's just not as easy as it was. It really is. And there's no right way to do it. Not saying you can't do it, but it's Like, you have to really want it.

It's just such a deep topic that people get very invested in and very passionate about. Right. And I just wondered if you felt any backlash from people or if all of your followers are just so great. They haven't said much. I will say this is maybe the first time I've talked about it at length. Okay. And I was kind of like, it's like now that I'm in like a lesbian relationship, there's not as much pressure because you immediately take it off the table.

It's like, what does that tell you too? Yeah. now because like like anatomy and biology doesn't add up then I'm like then it's just like kind of a cop out and it's not a discussion so then I don't know I was thinking about this other the other day yeah people I don't know kind of come for like whatever being in a relationship with the same sex and like just that it's like a sin you know leaning on religion it's not supported by your doctrine I understand that why isn't it supported because we're meant to like procreate. Right. So then like, but then, yeah, being in a heterosexual relationship,

some people just don't want to have kids, but they don't get the same hate as being in the same sex of a relationship. So it's like it really just like flips the script without really needing to because ultimately I think you just have to, it's like, we're all people. We want what we want. We're not, I'm not hurting anybody by not having kids. That's what my therapist always says to me. If I am feeling shame or guilt or something, she goes, did you hurt anybody? Is anybody hurt and I'm like well physically or right because they seem really hurt because I'm like but like I'm like no I didn't nobody got hurt like people act like these decisions they're just so yes yeah it's like it's just so interesting yeah I think at the end of this podcast I think of the takeaway for me is

that I am a lesbian yeah honestly you're at here first I'm like does Robbie have any friends it's the better way it's fun that's Chrisel was talking to me about it the other day too because I just I admire Rochelle and G. Phillips so much that I see the way that they treat each other behind the scenes. And it is beautiful. Like I just, I admire their relationship, but I feel like you two are probably the same way. There's some, like, there's something special and magic about it. I think just because women are better and special and then we get to treat each other nicer, and it always feels like you're kind of doing something bad.

It's like a little taboo. Yes. So it just makes it more fun. What does Robbie think about how Bachelor Nation is? Was she a Bachelor fan? Yes, she was. She loves Bachelor Nation. Oh, that's awesome.

She's like, I won the Bachelor. You did, babe. I'm like, we're here. That's awesome. I love it. So obviously she does like comedy stuff all the time. What is next for Gabby? Oh, my God.

I wish I was begging, begging, begging. There's something really exciting coming. You can't say it! I know. I can't like talk about the details, but it's really soon. I can't wait to be. be able to share it. Okay. I know. So please, I'm asking you guys to hold on for dear life, but I'm on the edge of my seat. But it's so close. It's like teetering. It's like just, I'm excited.

Yeah, hopefully by, I don't know, maybe in the next couple weeks. Okay. Exciting. I love when people are just so who they are and authentic and I feel like that person always wins. And I mean win in like the best way possible where I'm like, you can only try and be somebody for so long without like emotionally drowning and like getting lost in that. When you just own who you, are and you just like whatever you do it's going to be successful oh my god thank you yeah that means a lot coming from you i really believe it like there are certain people where i'm like you because you are so authentic to who you are and you're just living your full truth whatever you do will work i thank you it means a lot and i hope so because it is scary i mean choosing this kind of life and like sharing

everything about yourself yeah so there's a lot of like vulnerability that comes with it but it's like i think what i've learned from being on the bachelor you know i i think i was one of the first like of its kind to, like, not come from a traditional home. And I got so much support. So it's like, no matter what, there are people who are wanting that voice. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. You are a voice for a lot of different women out there, which is really cool. Like, a lot. And, you know, that's obviously not showcased a lot on TV. It's usually like the girl next door, the, you know, and the close family and the this. And that's very much what, I mean, that's why we're all brainwashed. Yeah. Yeah, you know, Literally.

So you get to come in there and live your truth and have other people feel seen, too, which is. Yeah. I just gave you two thumbs up. Two thumbs up to you. Hey. So got on. Yeah. Oh, my God. Would you and Robbie ever do a biz collab?

Oh, like a business? Yeah. I don't know. We like, everyone's like throwing us ideas and we're like, okay, you guys, we just have to make sure, like, our relationship is like the baby first. But I think naturally we're both, like, very. career-minded. Yeah. So I think in the future, like, it wouldn't be a no. Yeah. I could I could just see it. That's why I say it. Okay, I'm going to play one game with you before I let you go. Okay, please. It's called. It's called Grabby. Grabby. What do we call it? Grabby.

Grabby and Robbie. Gabby and Robbie. Yeah. Do you guys have a couple names? No, but I love Gabby. Wait, grabby is actually so cute. It's like old lady. Yeah, but it's a, I picture like Gravy. Like, yeah, grabby. That's so cute. And we add an IE to everything. That's another fun thing about being with the girl is everything becomes like so cutesy. We're like, give me kissy. What about a huggy? Like, oh, you went dinny? Like, it's like so annoying, but actually so fun and cute. I'm obsessed. I saw you too being interviewed by Bethany Frankel, which how cool is that? So cool. And I was just like, I'm obsessed. Like I could be a fly on your wall at all times. Yeah, no, it's so sick but it's like so fun like i want that i want to be so cute and annoying with somebody it's the

best yeah we're like so cuddly oh i know damn it yeah what am i doing with my life get yourself a girl i might okay most likely to grabby grabby who's most likely to robby or gabby okay eat something off the floor me she's such a germanphobe i'm like really oh my gosh i bite my nails after a plane ride I don't, I'm like, whoa. That just got weird. I don't really get sick very often, so. Yeah, there you go. I have a good immune system.

Kill a spider in the house. Me, she's such a baby. Really? Yeah, I'm like, I told her this the other day. I'm like, being in a relationship with another girl, it's like being a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time. I can see that. And I pick up a lot of the boyfriend duties.

I know, which I'm like leaning in, but it's not easy. What about be late for an event? Oh, God, me. she's never late she's so punctual let a toot out in an elevator we that's one thing that we haven't done it no not really we're both like very like well no she's really anti I think because being in a relationship with the same sex it's easy to blur the lines yes so we have to be extra careful because like in my past like dating a boy like they'd always fart so then I'd fart yeah if you're finding me fart like I think farts are just funny but with her it's like no oh okay so

But her, she's, but I would say her. She knows why. Yes. This is, I'm going to have Robbie on the podcast next for a confession. Okay, who's more likely to forget the other's birthday? Me, because I did. I just emailed her an event last night. I was like, should we go to this?

And she's like, oh, sure, we can just celebrate my birthday the next day. I'm like, oh my God, so sorry, we have a trip planned. I'm like, ugh. It's just my brain. It's useless. Yeah. Screen door on a submarine. That's what I call my brain sometimes. Yeah. What's the point? Okay, who's more likely to get a random tattoo? Me, she has no tattoos. Oh, I'm getting one tonight. Oh, my God, fun.

I don't know. Oh, my God. Good for you. Ideas. Yeah, I'll think. I'm like, I'm literally going to an event where there's a tattoo artist. And I will not leave a party with a tattoo artist until I get one. Oh, my God, fun. Would you ever do the inner lip? No, because one of my girlfriends did, and it comes off right away. Oh, annoying. Yeah. She had hoodlum. It's amazing. Okay, who's more likely to bring home a new pet? Me.

She's so responsible. You have no idea. I love it. Okay, what about forget deodorant? Probably me, honestly. I'm always, yeah, I'm always asking her for deodorant. She's very put together. Really?

Yeah. Except for when she's not, but she's always put together except for when she's not. Yeah. I thought I had something better. there but I just repeated place. No, but it is. It's like one, it's like a 180 for her. It's so funny. Do you have a confession? Yes, I thought of one actually, which is like kind of similar to last time, not mine, but we were talking about dirty water. Yeah. So, and it always has to do with my dog because that's my whole life. Yeah. But he was like, I don't know, a little barfie the last couple days.

And like, which isn't abnormal for golden doodles. Yeah. But it went on for longer than like I would have liked and expected and then he was having diarrhea and like acting weird so I was like what is going on and like I clean out his water bowl with like hot water yeah but I don't really put in the dishwasher and I don't do it that often yeah I switched his water bowl and he was totally fine really I think I made him sick yeah but he like literally licks his own asshole I watch him every day what's wrong with a little dirty water I know I'm like I rins it out that's I actually my mom told me she was like how often are you washing the dog bowls because apparently that's a thing like built up bacteria in the water.

And I'm like, okay, good to know. On that same note, Pino had diarrhea all night the other night. Oh, no. So Pino, bless Pino, he is the sweetest dog I've ever met my life. Like, he is so sweet. Raman will bark in my face and be like, bitch, get me outside. Now I got to go. And Pino will be like, oh.

I don't want to wake her up. And he'll just start doing laps. And so I woke up and I was like, why is Pino staring at me? He's always like out through the night. So I let him out. and he immediately ran and was like, and I was like, oh, bless. Every three hours he needed to go,

and I'm, like, sitting there just cutting diarrhea, wet diarrhea out of his fur at, like, three in the morning being like, oh, my God, he's for a baby. But, like, I don't ever want him to feel shame. So I'm like, good job, going out, good boy. Oh, and I'm just cutting, like, stinky diarrhea on my hand. Then did you bite your fingernails? And then I bit my fingernails.

You're like, yes. And you know what? Never felt better. You know, I liked it. Well, I can't wait to find out what you're doing. Yay, me either. Oh, God, dear. I asked everybody.

I'm like, can I finally talk about it? Because even six months ago when you were here, you were talking about something. I know. That's how long it's been in the work. It's literally going to put me in my grave. But I will survive. You're like, but I will be there with a paycheck because this is going to be good. Yeah.

I'll be rising from the dead. Like, told you bitch. You know that TikTok? When people are like, when people at the restaurant start gossiping, you're like, you like rise from the dead that'll be you yeah literally i can't wait thank you so much tell everybody where they will find the news when it comes out please on my instagram which is at gabby wendy i have a ticot gabby wendy loki think it slept on um but that's news on her on her i was going to say snapchat i'm old i'm out of here okay thank you so much i freaking adore you you're amazing

Yay!