Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Got Oat Milk? with Benji Aflalo and Esther Povitsky

Episode Date: August 14, 2018

Kaitlyn chats with Benji and Esther creators of Alone Together on Freeform TV about being platonic friends of opposite genders, the inspiration for their show, and debate the nature of a hot dog. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Yeah, that's a non, that's like not acceptable to me. Well, usually if you're not the host of the show, you're just like, we're going to fall through space and you're going to shepherd us. And then you're just going to, yeah, I know, not today. Don't mind. At least you're being up front. No, us two together will, there'll be natural conflict, so you'll be good.

Oh, I like that. Yeah. Okay, so how many people struggle with pronouncing both of your names? I probably have it worse than you do, but we both have with that. Wait, I'm going to try. Esther Pavitsky. Nailed it. Really? Absolutely. And Benji, a flolo.

Yeah. They're both, like, they're not secrets in them. There's, like, tricks. They, they... Well, it could be like a flailo. Yeah, but even that would be fine. I think people see complicated names, and then they don't want to take their time with it, and they almost want to say it wrong.

That, yeah. Like, if you stare at our names for a sec, you'll be like, okay, this is probably what it sounds like. If you were a mediocre speller in a spelling bee, like, you'd be able to nail this. Okay. They're just easy. If you really look. Okay. Yeah, I guess I was just being...

No, but you're... No, you looked. Oh, I did. I did. I did a bit of research, too. Yeah. So I don't know about you guys, but, I mean, during the summer, the last thing I want to do is spend time cooking. I'd rather be outside doing fun summer things

because that's what warm weather's for. But when your summer to-do list is all about barbecues, outdoor bars, hanging out with family, having cocktails, it's really hard to eat well. And that's why I love daily harvest. It's a subscription service that makes healthy eating easy. And my favorite part, It requires basically no effort.

They deliver perfectly portion cups, frozen, organic, fruits, and vegetables directly to your door, and it all stays fresh in the freezer until you're ready to eat it. So it just takes one step to prepare. You can add water, your favorite milk to the cup, heat it, blend it, soak it. It's literally that easy. I always use almond milk. It's my favorite. Unsweetened vanilla.

Thank you for asking. It's the perfect thing to have on hand for those days when you don't have time to cook. Smoothies are easy, guarantee to a healthy breakfast or something. snack and cool down when it's way too hot out and even better they're made to be taken on the go daily harvest is a great option to fall back on but honestly i've realized it's becoming my first choice at any time of the day so go to daily dash harvest.com and enter promo code vine to get three free free free daily harvest cups at daily dash harvest dot com but that's i remember going to this photo shoot and this woman was like i heard you're funny so just be funny

at the photo shoot And I was like What do you want me to like tell a joke For the photo shoot? Like what do you mean? Be funny. Yeah, photo shoot And what am I supposed

To like make a funny face For the photo shoot? No. And then you just start And afterwards Like why did I make that face? I'm so embarrassed Now it's on Google forever

That's the one that circulates The wacky photo you did Always That's what happened to me You have the worst wacky photos It's so bad What? On like Google

If people Google your name You just got You have a wacky face He took like the cheesiest Shots when he started a comedy Which I did too But yours are more embarrassing for so reason because you're a guy.

Well, what happened is I did... The photographer told you to be funny. That's not even the point. Like, at the end of you get like 200 headshots. You pick your 10 favorite. Right. So I picked my 10 favorite. I picked the 10 I like.

Yeah. Then the photographer on his website picked one that I didn't pick and put it on his website. What a dick. And then that circulated more than everything. And now everything I do, there's the most annoying photo of me. And I'm like, I paid you for those photos. Right. And then you circulated them without my permission.

It's like the greatest thing. And now it's everywhere. And it's the worst. Can't you do something about that? I don't, what am I going to do? Like, it's too late, it's too late. Yeah. It's in there.

You're like, I don't care that much. I care a little bit because I, because we do stand-up, there's always people making, like, comedy flyers and things with your face, so they just pull whatever is there. Right. For whatever reason, despite all the photos out there, people will always pick this one, and it's so annoying. But I'm used to it now, and I'm just like, I'm the guy with an annoying photo.

You know, there's, if you Google photos of me, it's the worst photos, because I came off that show. I gained, like, 12 pounds after the show. I had, like, black hair. I was so greasy and just, like, tired and stressed out. I, like, lost hair, so it was all, like, thin, and I just... It was really unfortunate.

And that's the picture they use for me all the time, too, so... There you go. And I have a lot of weight fluctuations, so it's just, like, I'm unrecognizable to some, and some years, some eras. I mean, you're pretty tiny, though. Oh. Thank you. Oh, I didn't, like, say that just so you'd say it, but, like, you did, so...

I went. that. And before we started, we were having a riveting conversation about milk. Milk. I was telling you about oat milk. Yeah, tell me more. I'm like, we didn't finish this conversation. I'm really intrigued. I'm really a dairy-free milk fanatic. And I feel that oat milk is the best I found by far. Like, I feel like I just discovered gold in San Francisco in whatever year. That was a good thing. Do you feel like you should tell the world or do you think you should keep this to yourself? You know, at first, I was like, maybe I should be quiet because it was always sold out. But now it's people who are, it's everywhere.

It's a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Oat Milk. It is good. I've tried it. Really? Yeah.

Is that like an L.A. thing? Like, it hasn't reached Nashville yet. No. We're on the forefront of milk's in L.A. It's around. Yeah. I found it. I think I've, yeah, it's at a coffee shop in Evanston, which is near where I'm from.

Oh, okay. Where are you from? You're from Skokie, Illinois. Okay. Home of Pita Inn and the KKK March and the World's Best Holocaust Museum. Wow. Very proud. I want to be mayor one day.

Wow. Why did you leave? Great question. To pursue our dreams as a dancing actress. Yeah. Do you dance? I dance a lot in our show. I used to be a dance major.

I thought my dream was to be a rockette, and then I realized it's way too late. I was too short. Yeah, they're tall. Yeah. So I'm not a dancer now, but in my mind, I'm like, maybe I am. Oh, well, then you are. She's a good dancer. Really?

She dances on the show a lot. She's good. Oh, I'm going to have to look that up. Yeah, the second episode of our show is a big dancing episode for me. As I said, I did my research. I'm like, what, you dance? No, you wouldn't see that from the Insta page. Okay, okay, okay.

She's a dancer at heart, so it doesn't end up on Wikipedia. Benji's a singer at heart. And I'm a singer at heart. He's the guy where if there's a guitar at the party, when he walks in, like, you have to throw the guitar in the pool or the party's over. But I don't sing at the party. I'll just play a little. But if it's just me and you in my house, you'll sing.

Well, that's just me and you. There's a big difference between the guy who sings with a friend and the guy who sings at a party. But I don't want the singing. It's not consensual. singing. Oh. I don't want to stare at you dance every day on set for four hours a day. I don't want to see you shirtless. Do we need to go to the shirtless

conversation? You like seeing me shirtless? I do. Yeah, it's funny. Only when you're insecure, not when you're proud. You only want to see me fat and shirtless. But didn't you say, I feel like I saw this in an interview that you like chubby guys? I do. Yeah. So there you go. But no, but she likes to see me unhappy and she knows if I feel chubby and I'm naked. But you're not really, you're never going to be like the chubby that I'm, you know, you're

Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah, it's about my unhappiness. I definitely like... You like to take him down a notch. Yeah, but he does that to me, too. Right. That's a beautiful relationship.

It's an equal landscape. Yeah. Do we just harmonize it? That's it. Okay, go to the shirtless conversation. You were like, do we need to go there? I'm like, yeah, go there. What?

What? Well, basically... No. Okay, so the last two seasons of our show, I've had two shirtless scenes in season one, and maybe like two or three in season two. Yeah. And then people accuse me.

You know there were three in season two. I don't know. And then people, and then she accuses me of wanting to be shirtless. Can I tell you? When the writing just sort of calls for it. Can I tell you something?

Yes. One day he's like, do you have any shirtless scenes in our show? And I'm like, no. Because I created this show and I write on it and I don't want to be shirtless. Right.

Which is you had that same option. Right. He's the creator, executive producer, writer in the writer's room. He doesn't have to be shirtless. That's not true. Oh.

Okay. For example, I know one of our shirtless scenes This year, I asked the director I was like, should I be shirtless or not? And she said, I think it'd be funny if you're shirtless. Yeah. So I did what she said because I trust directors. Yeah.

The other thing was a storyline I didn't write because we were shooting and we weren't in the writer's room and I had to be shirtless for that. My point is, you don't get to say had to be shirtless. You could say, I don't. You like it. I like doing what I'm told. I like doing what I'm told.

I feel like I'm a professional. Yeah, exactly. And then he walks around and he's like, I have to be shirtless this week. But you know it lands But you know it lands with the audience What? If you're shirtless

Yeah Yeah Does it though? It really adds to the comedic I don't know Now I got people tweeting at me Because I have shirtless stuff What do they say?

Oh A guy Trolls? No Like people Like I got something from something called Like gay feed and ass Asking me what size shoe I wear

I think that was his thing You think that's because you were shirtless Well yeah Damn it, yeah Okay Season three, I'm shirtless. Game on, here we go. He has like nine followers.

I'm like, okay, what's your shoe size? What does it mean that because they want to know if you have a big feet? I think from his bio it looked like he has like a gay foot fetish. Why is there so many foot fetish people online? It's the most common fetish. Is it really? Feet is number one, yeah. Yeah, I think because they have no community in person.

That's not true. There's foot meetups. There are? Yeah. Come on. But I feel like it's such a, like, there's a lot of shame. surrounding it for people a lot maybe a little because it's a fetish but at the end of the day in terms of fetishes feet foot is the most common but why what is it about feet for people I think it

like um I think that it has like a lot of textures of foot it has like a lot of angles and it has a lot of smells why is it so funny to me that my producer is just eating a banana in the background while you're telling me but I don't know why it just seems appropriate it's very sexual I worked on a sex show once and that was like some of the stuff that I remember I have nice feet I I I feel like I could really shift years. Could you like maybe like get turned on by your own feet? No, absolutely not. Not that far.

I mean, could you get turned on even by your own boobs? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Why not? I got great boobs. I guess. You're in the middle of a sexual thing and you grab your own boobs like in a heated moment.

No, I just mean like I'm just sitting like I don't know, not in a sexual moment. Why don't you try grabbing your own boobs one day? I always see what happens. I touch them. It's like a comforting thing. It is. Yeah. No, I get that.

But I bite my toenails. I don't get turned on. I bite my toenails. You do? I was going to say... Yeah. Me too. I was going to say my feet would probably be nice if I didn't bite my own toenails.

Yeah. You put your foot in your mouth? Yeah. Sometimes I usually pick, but yeah, they'll end up in my mouth too. I can put my feet on my head. One time I accidentally did when I was, like, walking around a hotel barefoot, and then I realized what I was doing. Then I stopped, but I do bite my own toenails.

Yeah. Wow. Do you not because you can't reach or because it's gross? I just don't under... It's one of the, I just don't understand. I'm not on the same page. But people bite their nails, and it's not a big deal. I also don't do that, and I don't understand it.

I'm a big nail biter. Me too. That, to me, at least, that's convenient. Your hands are right here. But your toes, it's like you really have to... If you think about it, though, toe nails are probably cleaner. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, do you know the number one thing? I think they're both bad. I think I do both, and I don't... I think it's both. I wish I didn't do either. But do you know the number one thing found under fingernails? Duty? Poop.

Yep. And cocaine. Oh, I don't know Dutty poop Dutty poop and cocaine And duty and cocaine go hand in hand They do, and that's what's under your fingernails So if you think about it

What's under your toenails Like you're wearing shoes Cocaine makes you poop I know you don't know anything about drugs Oh really? Cochain makes you poop Should I do it? Yeah, you didn't know that?

No? Yeah Is that like a good thing? I mean, I think it's just like Coffee Poops I think like a coffee But it's like one of the gross aspects Of being a Cokehead

Is you're like shing and stuff Or if you're a co-op all the time Or if you're a co-op all the time Or if you're a, Coke addict and you know Coke's on the way, sometimes they start sorry for this gross conversation. No, this is so classic. I always somehow end up with poop talk on this podcast, so.

Let's go there. We already are there. We went there. I've got the stories. Well, we have a confession segment for that. Oh, no. All right, my little vinoes, you listen up here. Let me tell you all about Diff, Iware, gather round.

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So go to diffiware.com and use Code Vine for $25 off your first order and help Diff do good in the world. Why not? That's Diffiware.com Code Vine. Let's talk about your show. Okay. You have a show on Freeform called Alone Together. Yes, it's on Freeform and Hulu. And you're working on Season 2 right now or it's coming out?

We finish season 2 and it's four episodes from season 2 are coming out today. And then the rest come out on August 1st. Okay, amazing. I'm trying to think of when this will air, but they'll be out by that. time. Yeah. And okay, tell us the concept of the show and how it came to be. You want to go or you want me to go? Take it away. Take it away, Benji. Well, Esther and I were younger stand-up comics and we are now and we felt the need to sort of make something on our own because we felt like no one believed in us and we were definitely right. So we felt like we just had to do something on

our own. So we made what some might call a pilot, some might call a short film. We made like a 20 minute short film that sort of showed our relationship and we self-produce it and wrote it ourselves. It was a difficult thing at the time to do because we didn't have a lot of experience and you're getting people to help you and borrow cameras and it's not... And it came out of this thing where we were

always hanging out together on the comedy scene and people looked at us like are you guys dating? What's the deal? They couldn't handle that a guy and a girl were together all the time and not having sex with each other and people like that's interesting. That's weird. So we were like okay well just make it let's make a show about it let's that's kind of why we wanted to do it and also Benji's like a rich kid from Beverly Hills and I'm kind of

white trash from Illinois oh so you know there's that little dynamic white trash what makes you white trash what is that what is that Benji take this one away I don't think she's full-blown white trash okay borderline half well her mom's like very American Midwest but your mom isn't like white trash but I think Like, if you saw pictures of Esther when she was eight, like, you'd be like, oh, yeah, maybe you're not, like, your parents don't belong to a country club. You can tell from childhood photos. I'd say that.

But I don't think you're white trash. She's also half Jewish, so that would wash away some of the white trash that might have been there. Had your mom married, like, white trash? You're, like, honorary white trash. I think she dabbles in both sides. I think it's biological. Like, my biological grandfather lives in a trailer park, and I've only met him once. I don't know if he's alive.

So, like, that's in my veins. Oh, okay. I got you. but I'm working against it. Okay. Yeah. So we made a short film and then we used that to help pitch our show and then we got a show and we went with Freeform and everything worked.

So people did believe in you. Freeform did. Well, once we made that short, but before that, no. After we made the film, Lonely Island, like. I love Lonely Island. I know they're so funny. They partnered with us and then we pitched it to Free Form. And our first season came out in January and then our new season's coming out this month.

And is it like kind of based on who you are as people? Totally. Yeah. Our friendship. who are our fights. And you've never been sexually attracted to each other. Never. Well, we've had a couple moments where we almost hooked up, but we didn't.

He tried to have sex with me once, but then he said it was because he ate too much Thai food and he had Thai food goggles. I didn't try to have sex with her. She was trying to have. That is so crazy. Thai food makes you feel sexy? You've already admitted. Well, it's like the sugar and then the like, and then because there's so much sugar sauce in Thai food. So you have the sugar rush.

And then there's something so, like, carnal about eating Thai food where it's just like animalistic. that you might try to mount someone like Esther. In general. It's like, I'm eating Thai food. I'm having sex with Esther. It's a whole mess. I get turned on when I eat a big meal because, yeah, it's like I'm like a sloppy person now. You might as well just, you know, throw it all dumb.

But luckily, I put our friendship before sex. Oh, my God, you are so full of S-H-I-T. You totally, you've admitted before that you tried. I didn't. I walked away. You can't take it back. You have thought I walked away This is shocking

Go back on other interviews He's confessed you tried And then I was like get I was like no Oh yeah right If I was aggressively trying to have sex with you At any point in our friendship You wouldn't still be my friend Because you stopped

It's not like we Like Yeah if you hadn't stopped But we was like no we're not doing We were both like In that world then right now I feel a lot of sexual tension Am I aggressively about to have sex with you right now

Like So all of a sudden I know I walked away. That is crazy. Agree to disagree. I'm going to go back and watch these interviews and see if I can find where he said this. Yes.

Maybe you're saving it for the confession part of this podcast, and then you'd be like, okay, I did. He changes his stories. That's how you know he's fake. I am just jumping. You want to hear exactly what happened? Yes. We talked about this.

I walked away, and then I said, I'm going to the bathroom to jerk off. You're talking about a different time. I'm talking about the time that your parents have. Okay, well, then there's two different times. The second time I walked away. No, I'm... At Sunset Plaza, I walked away.

See, to me, that was never an almost had sex. The only almost had sex was at your parents' house. Okay, well, to you. To you. See, now her story is changing. But yeah, no, that's true. I do remember at Sunset Plaza House. No, not what you said, but I remember that you were like, I'm going to go jerk off.

And then you showed me your dick, and I was like, why is it... You asked to see my dad. I was like, why is it green? No. What? My dick isn't green. But did you really say that? Show me your dick, yeah.

No, but did you say, why is it green? No, I said, why is it? That's just a joke. Yeah. Because I was walking to the bathroom, she's like, fine, you can go to the bathroom and jerk off, and we don't have to hook up, but let me just see her dick. I don't remember, I only remember asking to see his dick. This is amazing. Like, is this a typical way of hooking up for you?

No, we didn't hook up. We didn't hook up. I don't want to kiss her because her breath is terrible, so, and I knew kissing would be very intimate and breach the friendship. So even though we almost hooked up. there wasn't like kissing. It's funny, I don't even, I only remember asking to see your dick. I don't remember anything before that. But to me, when we talk about almost hooking up, I always think about the Thai food night.

Because she was very codependent when we first became friends. And I'd be like, I had a guest bedroom. I'd be like, sleep in the guest bedroom. She'd be like, can I sleep with you? I had to see. Yeah, we had a pillow wall in between us. Yeah, yeah, I've done that. We'd have lots of sleepovers.

Okay. But I'm, yeah. But Esther has tons of sex, so it doesn't really matter. I know. I am in a relationship now, but I, it's just a blur for Esther. I still have a ton of sex in a relationship. I... When you say a ton of sex, it sounds a little different.

I was joking. I was... Sounds aggressive. I know you were joking, but I don't know. Everyone else knew that. Right. But yeah, no, I'm a big sleepover person. Like, any... And I'm very codependent, like he said.

Like, I get... I latch on to anyone. Oh, really? I'm so opposite. I, like, love my alone time and space, and I, like, a big empty bed. Oh, man. Yeah.

I'm like, any kind of friend, male or female, on like the second were i actually have a fun confession related to this when we go to the confessions let's go the confessions oh i was i was lying no i'm i'm i do have one no go let's let's confess okay we're there we can go there do you want to go first wait you go first wait what are we doing confessing you got to tell us you got to confess i'll go first because i should set the tone because you're going to take it too far okay yeah but that's I like. I like when people take it too far. This, I don't know if you know this, but I think you might. So before, it's kind of weird because it ended up being not a big deal, but at the time I was really nervous about it. But one time I was at his house and he was in the shower, there's two things. He's in the shower and his dog was like, he was really strict about his dog. He's like, the dog cannot be on the bed no matter what. And so then when he went in the shower, I put the dog on the bed. Yeah. That's one. Which dog? TG

Oh, okay And then the other one was he I enabled location sharing on his phone But he didn't know And it was so funny because I was like Oh this will be interesting Like I'll see what he's doing And then every time I checked

He was just at his house Did I ever lie? You never caught me to lie about where I was No, no, no, no But then I was like You didn't Then I think you like thought you had shared it with me On your own and then we just ended up

Yeah, we eventually We passive-aggressively took each other's location sharing away from each other. Yeah, that's happened a lot on and off. That's never a good idea. We have a location shared in a while. I'm a big location share, though. Really? Yeah, I have it with a lot of friends.

I have it with my mom. I like to know what my mom is. I feel like I would like, I'm not a liar. I'm a very honest person, but I'd somehow get caught and look like a liar. But it's just, it's not like that. It's not for purposes of catching people in a lie. It's just like, oh, are they, oh, they're in this area? Like, I should hit them up or.

Oh, I'll surprise them. Yeah. I think you like control and it gives you a sense of like knowing and... Whoa, that's deep. Yeah, I like knowing where, of course, yeah. Wait, do you have... What's your confession? Is it like a confession about her or just one in general?

Hmm. Do you have to do one too? Yeah, and it's so hard because every week I have to try and come up with one, but I just thought of one this morning because we have a dog camera in our house. And so I put it in our bedroom, which was probably a mistake. and Sean, my fiance, busted me at like four in the morning I got up and ate ketchup chips in bed when I give him for eating in our bed all the time. He wasn't home and I ate ketchup chips, which is a Canadian thing, in our bed and wiped like the ketchup, like, I was like licking my fingers and wiping my like naked legs with ketchup. Like, yeah, in our white linen bed. And I always gave him shit for eating in the bed.

And he caught you or he didn't? pressing right now he no he did but only because i told him i was like go check out the footage i can't believe i forgot there's a camera in the room and i was like totally just crushing ketchup chips in the middle of the night like i woke up hungry and i was like oh like four eight four i am yeah it's a low point that's like so romantic to me almost like the fantasy of eating in the middle of the night it just sounds so exciting really yeah i do it all the time you do yeah i feel like I wake up hungry in the middle of the night all the time. So I'll just get up and get a quick snack.

I've never really had that. Am I flirting with you right now? Wait. I do, yeah, I wake up in the middle of night hungry all the time. What else do you eat in the middle of the night? I try and be healthy. Like ketchup chips was like a bit of a, like I was like, oh, this is a tough one. But usually like raspberries, like maybe some blueberry.

I love frozen. This is less sexy now. Frozen blueberries. It's like one of my favorite snacks. I like frozen cherries. Um, yep, also good. Yeah. Anything that's just like convenient in the fridge or in the, in the covered.

Yeah. Very hot. Thanks. Okay, vinos, hold up. I've got some questions for you to think about. Why can a car park itself these days, but we have to drive across town to take a test drive if we want to try out a new car that we want to buy? Why can we get approved for a mortgage in lightning speed, but buying a new car takes an entire day, hmm? How can an at-home test service tell my entire.

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The host of Lady Gang teams up with her best friend slash true crime TV producer to explore stories of the craziest crimes, cults, and conspiracies imaginable with renowned crime journalist Billy Jensen. and talk to the once ordinary people who were one degree away from those stories. And, you know, maybe you might end up being one of their next guess. Check out the first degree every Wednesday only on podcast one. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Okay, I'm going to ask you just some like really deep, hard-hitting questions, okay? Okay. Are you ready for this?

What's your favorite color? Something like that, yeah. Would you rather have a huge tattoo on your face? No way, would you rather have a huge tattoo of your face on your butt or like a really tiny tattoo of a butt on your face? I like my butt, so I don't want to deface it. Right? I'd go with, no, yeah, I would rather deface my butt than my, and then my face.

So you'd rather have a tattoo? And it's mostly that it's a butt tattoo. Like if it was something kind of cool, I'd consider the face tattoo. But I would, I'd rather not. I don't want a butt on my face. But if it was like a star or something kind of cool, I'd consider. Not a star, just something not an ass, I mean. That's like so like Benji Madden of you.

Yeah. Doesn't he have like a, don't him and Joel have like a tattoo of stars on their face? I have like wanted a star tattoo like every six months for my whole life. I've never done it. You want to go get star tattoos? Sure. We look like suicide girls. Oh my gosh.

Can I come? I love getting spontaneous tattoos. I want it on my wrist, I think. Oh, look. I have a star on my wrist. You do. Wait, that's a star? It's a shooting star.

It was my first tattoo. And I have stars. Wait, no, do I have stars? Actually, can you tell me? Yeah. What is behind my ear? I know it's music notes, but is there also stars? Wait, it's a swastika? No, I'm just kidding. It's music notes and stars.

It is, right? It's really cute. I can never see it, so I forget what's back there. It's really cute. Oh, let's go get more stars. Okay. Apparently, I like star tattoos anyway, so there you go. And you like music. Are you a singer as well?

Well, I do live in Nashville, so. Oh, yeah. Yes. I love Nashville. Do you? I love it, too. It's like too much fun there. But yeah, I sang my whole life

Like musical theater Oh my God I'm a musical theater nerd Really me too And I and I danced as well My mom was a professional ballerina And so I grew up dancing and singing What are your favorite musicals

Is that you've done? Oh gosh I was the fiddler on the roof Yeah, I had to dress up as a boy I was June number seven I'm just kidding I wasn't in that show I think I was a fish salesman

I yelled fish fresh fish Did you really? Yeah Really? No one trusted me with big words I was also in West Side Story Who did you play? Not Anita

When Anita's friends I got to say like Two words Okay Yeah What else was I in Oh Joseph in the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

I was in that But I was just like a Were you really? I was one of the brothers I just a small brother part There's so many brothers I love all the I know every word of every song

Obviously but Joseph how can we ever say All that we want I want to about you. Oh, that was nice. So I just was taking a very dark stab. I don't know that show, actually. It's a good one.

But I work on a musical theater show, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Yes. The whole cast is just, we're all musical theater nerds. Really? Yeah, it's a dream. Oh, that does so nice. Yeah. Okay, can I hang out with you there too?

Yeah. I'm, like, becoming codependent on you now. I'm like, can we be friends coming out all the time. When did you go back to Nashville? Do you just come here to do this and go back to Nashville? Well, I'm going to Canada. after this to see family, but yeah. Oh, you don't live here?

No, I live in Nashville. Yeah. Yeah. I went to Chattanooga this last year. Oh, did you go to the strippers? No, what's the strippers? I don't know. I went to the Chattanooga Choochoochoo.

Oh. What's that? Yeah. It's like this historic hotel where you can, like, sleep in a train. And it's like a beautiful building. You never been to Chattanooga? No. It's such a cute town.

I should probably go. I'm really close. I think Pee-Weherman's from there. What? I love Peewee Herman. Ha ha! You do? Well, I mean, I loved his, like, movies.

Because I went to a Pee-Wee Museum there or something. Pee-Wy has a museum? It was like, oh, you know what? It wasn't Pee-Wy. It was the guy who built all the sets for Pee-Wi. That was from there. Well, I just love, like, Pee-wee's Christmas special. Yeah, they had it, but a lot of Pee-Wee was his set.

What's a Pee-Wy-Herman on my podcast? Is he a tough booking, probably. Is he in jail? He recently had a movie come out on Netflix. What? Paul Rubens. Is that his name? Yeah.

Oh. Well, there you go. I'm going to look into that. It sounds right up my alley. You have a busy evening. I really do. If you were both arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family assume it was for? For Benji?

Drinking and driving. Yeah, he had a DUI once. Yeah, so they'd probably think, oh, Benji's drinking and driving. Yeah. I would say weed for you. Weed's legal now. Oh. It'd be booze.

It'd probably be something with booze. Maybe a fight. Or at the comedy, like a fight at a comedy club. Yeah. But I'm not violent. but people will want to hurt me and then maybe that could lead to me getting arrested. Do people ever, like, boo you guys?

Like, do you... I would want to fight people if they booed me on stage as a comedian. I get a lot of, yeah, naysayers, sure. Oh, does that just make you want to... Throat chop people, or you get used to everything. No, it's fine. It happens so rarely.

Or you're upset for the day or that night. And then you get up right. What would you think I was arrested for? Probably, like... Stealing a piece of bread from Whole Foods. No, I could see something. escalating between you and, like, someone's serving you food. So, like, a barista doesn't get the order right.

You kind of say something. She gets sassy. You get sassy back. Blah, blah, blah. Oatmills fill. Boom, by Esther's arrested. I'm never sassy in those situations. Yesterday, I was, like, I think my drink is too sweet, and I approached the barista.

And he was so nice. I kept saying, like, why are you being so nice? He kept offering to remake it. I'm like, no, please don't. I can't imagine you being mean or angry or fighting. I'm not like that with people out in the world. We were staying, we got put up at a really nice hotel to do press in New York. I won't say the name of the hotel.

You can say it. No, no, I don't want to. No, you should say it. I don't want to root it for me and their, them. Because then I had an undisclosed $100 charge afterwards that, like, was just a random charge and then I called them out on it. What? Oh, oops, we're so sorry.

And she got food. Basically, we're at a really nice hotel in New York where we're like, everything's paid for, we have the four seasons. No, don't say it. I love you four seasons. I'm not like her. You're poisonous. You're eating.

I love everything you do. 1% you're what's wrong with our country. No, that's not true. The Four Seasons is good. The Four Seasons is why we can't have nice things. That's right. I disagree with both of you. I love the Four Seasons.

I do too. I love the Four Seasons, too. No, they're evil. I'll take the best Western any day over the four seasons. But she complained about her food, and then they were like, we're so sorry. Here's a bunch of food. And then she got food poised. You're joking.

They serve me. They're like, we made you this special hummus for all your complaints. And I dumbly was just like, oh, yummy hummus. And then I got sick for like a week. What? I had a really bad stomach thing. Whoa, that's dark. It's still, I still have.

And even if they did poison you, maybe you deserved it. No, I, no one deserves to be poisoned, Benjamin. I said maybe. Nobody maybe deserves. Maybe. No, can I tell you? Because at that time, I was eating vegan, which I still, like, kind of am. Loose morals.

You have loose morals. No, I was eating vegan. And the four seasons in New York City had no vegan options on the room service money. I was like, I wrote them a nice thing. I'm like, I just wish you guys would, like, diversify. your menu a little, like have more options for people with dietary restrictions. And then that's when they were like, thank you for your

feedback. Here's your vegan hummus. And then you got sick for a week. Yeah, and then they charge you a $1.000. You got to check your credit card bill, people. Yeah, you do. Because people are out for your money, honey. Yeah, they really are. Thank you for that. Oh, speaking of that. I think you owe me money, don't? Oh, I got to go.

Gotta go. That's my time. Okay, what is your Wi-Fi network called? Benji Wi-Fi. Oh. Boring. What's yours? I'm going to kill my boyfriend for this because I didn't want it to be this because every time someone asks, it's really awkward.

But it's just going to sound like inappropriate. Good. It's skinny, fatty, because those are our nicknames for each other. Oh, that's cute. But it has nothing really to do with our weights. Right. It's just like our nicknames. That's cute.

Thank you. Very cute. Mine's pretty fly for a Wi-Fi, but I feel like a few people who think they're funny have that as their Wi-Fi network. They're like, I'm funny, pretty flying for a Wi-Fi. That's me. That's I'm that guy. Is a hot dog a sandwich? No.

Yeah, it's bread and a meat. I'm going to go, no. I know this is a thing. It is such a thing. I've never heard of us. Also, it gives cereal soup, but I disagree with that cereal deserves a hot dog. A hot dog is a sandwich. Because they say, like, if the definition for a sandwich is meat between bread.

Yeah. How can you get yourself out of this one, Benji? Here's the thing. So a sandwich to me is two separate pieces of bread. Okay. And that's like more of a fold. So a burger to you is a sandwich? No, it's a burger.

Well, then your theory doesn't make sense. I guess a burger is a sandwich. Perfect. Because it's Shake Shack. The burgers touch at the end. The buns. You're right. It's a clamshell.

So now your theory, where are we? It's more of a feeling and I get both sides. Yeah, I'm with you on that. Here's the thing. The hot dog is in the sandwich family. It's not like the first thing you think of when you think of a sandwich, but it is technically a sandwich. For me, it's like I have so much love for the sandwich that when you like add stuff into it,

it's like, I love burgers, I love hot dogs, I love sandwiches, but like I love them each in their own special way, and that's why I don't just want to make them all the same thing. I know, but if you think about, like, a bunny rabbit and an elephant and a fly, those are all animals, but you don't, like, take that word away from, you don't, you can't, just be like

Do you think a fly is an animal? I learned recently that it is. Really? Yes. Oh, this is... It's an insect. Yeah. But, yes, it's an animal. It's bugs are animals. Yeah. But see, so bugs are insects and animals, therefore hot dogs are sandwiches.

I hear what you're saying. And again, I get both sides. It's more of a feeling. To me, a hot dog is a hot dog. Yeah, I would never... Yeah, I would never call hot dog a sandwich, but it's just more like, what are your thoughts on that being? I'm making sandwiches. Oh, you are? I'll have a hot dog.

That's not how it goes. Maybe this is black and white, and I think you guys are just trying to be more emotional about it. No, I'm not. It's just... I am passionate about hot dogs. I was just in Switzerland, and what they do there, which I really liked, actually. So they serve a lot of sausages, and instead of getting, like, a sausage and a bun, there's, like, a huge... bread basket full of bread and then it's almost like flat bread or whatever kind of bread they have

and then you sort of like rip pieces off with the bread and make little bites out of the bread combo sauce like does that make sense yeah it was really it was like a way better way to eat yeah i'm into that you don't need all the bread or you can you can really ratio the bread because that's a big thing on hot dogs is the ratio because i don't like too much too much bun yeah yeah that's how i eat my avocado toast now is i'll make the avocado mash and then i'll rip up my bread and dip it in. Oh yeah, that's genius, actually. It's so much better. Oh, yeah. And I'm a big dipper. Like, I like, I'm a big dip guy. Yeah. I'm glad we talked about this. Hey, if you guys are looking to buy a car, you're probably familiar with terms like MSRP. You

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so they set their true price competitively so that they can win your business. So when you're ready to buy a new or use car, visit True Car to enjoy a more confident, car buying experience. Some features are not available in all states. Do you like pineapple on your pizza? Another controversial. Yeah. Sometimes. Maybe half the pizza. I'm not against it. People who make a big deal about it, I'm like, relax.

I get it. I get it though. Really? It's a sweet flavor on a savory pizza. Like, I get why you don't want that, but I think it's a little fun on half the pizza. There's also so many things you can put on a pizza that like when you get mad at pineapple, it's like, then get one of the other thousand things. Stop hating stuff.

Yeah, that's true. That's how I look at it. Who is your celebrity crush? Mine's Andy Sandberg. It is? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, I have a few. He's one of them.

Paul Rudd is my other one. Can I just say Andy is so nice? He is. It's crazy. Yeah, he's very cool. He's awesome. He's a really talented guy. Yeah.

You have good taste. Thank you. I think so, too. Yeah, and I've seen Paul Rudd in person. He's very handsome. He is? And Andy's a good looking guy too. Yeah.

I don't know Paul Rudd at all, so I can't speak to that. I don't know. But I get it. He's cute. Yeah, I've seen him. So cute. Who's yours? Oh, wait, did you even?

I have so many. Oh, you do? Right now, I'm pretty into Kira Knightley. Okay, yeah. I just started following Iggy Azalia on Instagram, and I'm really enjoying it. Wow. I met her, actually. She's very tall.

Lady Gaga is so beautiful to me. I love Lady Gaga. Can't wait for a star is born. It's going to change my life. Oh, my gosh. What is that? Her new movie coming out. Oh, I didn't know she's a new one coming out.

Oh, amazing. Directed by Bradley Cooper. Is it really? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, those are probably my three based off looks. Mine is probably women, Gaga, Lana Del Rey. And then for men, I would say, I haven't, like, re-uped because it used to be Sasha Baron Cohen.

I haven't watched his new show yet, and I'm scared that's going to affect me. He just got Corinne from The Bachelor World. Oh, really? What did he do? He, like, made her lie and say that she, like, saved 6,000. children or so i can't remember what it was like from a massacre like he made her try and say i you know what i shouldn't say because i could be completely lying just google it okay yeah google the story because i'm like that would be awful do you know her yes is she

cool actually well i only know her just from like the world i've never like gone for dinner with her or talked or like hung out with her like that um but she seems cool she was i thought she was really funny it hilarious great tv she's great tv yeah you need those people on shows like Bachelor and Bachelor. That's what makes that show. And where can people find you on social media? Esther's available on WikiFeet?

No. Esther Monster is my Instagram. And then Twitter, I'm Little Esther. Is that big dog really your dog? Is that your dog? What big dog? That huge, I feel like I saw you with a really big dog. Oh, no, that's one of our show's writers. Oh, my God, that was incredible. I know it's so big. Her dog, she has two great deans.

Oh, I'm obsessed. Yes. My dog is five pounds. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, definitely it wasn't your dog that I found. Do you have a dog? Yeah, I have a golden retriever. Oh. Yeah, I'm obsessed. Name. Tucker. But we call him doodle. Oh. My dog's name is donut and we call her Donateloponzu. Oh, naturally. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, I love dogs. I'm like obsessed. Do you have a dog? I don't know. He did. He gave it away to one of our friends. Oh. It's more complicated than that. Is it? Yeah, it is.

Is it, though? For a while, he was like, anytime someone would come over and they'd, like, bond to his dog, you'd be like, do you want her? Oh. People would be like, what? Really? Well, because I saved her, and then I just always felt like, I don't know. I, like, liked her, but.

It was more like a relationship. You felt like she could have a better home. Sort of. I just felt like she was a really good dog. Like, I did a really good job training her, and she was really sweet. And so I always felt like if someone was, like, super enthusiastic about her, I'd be, like, take her. It was more like if someone had a fish, and you know how the fish just, like, kind of sits there and looks at you. That was their relationship.

Okay. I got you. And what about you on social media? Are you big social media guy? I do Twitter and Instagram. Okay. It's Benjia Flalo, B-E-N-J-I-A-F-L-A-L-O. Okay.

And then our show is on Hulu and Free Forms app and website, and the first four episodes for season two are out. And all of season one is out. Alone Together TV on Instagram, too, right? Oh, yeah. It's so I was watching clips. morning it is so funny yeah I was super into it I'm like I can't wait for people to listen to this podcast and then go watch it because it's funny you know what's right like my kind of humor too so funny yeah what's crazy is the thing that we get the most in terms of feedback is always the

same it's like I put it on thinking that I wasn't gonna like it and then I just kept watching it and finish the whole season people like I didn't have any thoughts like that going into it I was like oh I can't wait to see what this is about and then it was great but people like go into it almost challenging it and then they're like oh yeah okay that was good it is it's really good it is um i went into it with a really bad attitude because that's what you deserve

and it's it's good and it's good that to me is a good compliment because it means we won them over we changed that's true but such a reminder that people just like there's something about us where people are just like i know away from me i know that's fine though oh i didn't feel that way i didn't feel that way at all I do. I do.

And you're so confident and secure. You seem secure. Yeah. I'm pretty secure. Yeah, that's why. People who aren't fully secured. Oh, that's, you're right. That's it.

But that's everybody that people who aren't fully secure don't like me either. What makes these short, ugly people so special? All right, I guess this isn't so bad. That's just the internet. That's just the internet, though. That's everybody. Okay, I'm going to be that person. I always end my podcast with a joke.

You're funny. Be funny. Tell me a joke. joke. A joke? A joke. Like. I actually don't even do jokes in my stand-out.

I know some jokes. Let me think. Yeah. Didn't my dad tell you a joke? Do you remember that one? Yeah, it didn't retain. Oh, didn't landy. They all seem kind of inappropriate.

None of my jokes are appropriate. Okay. We don't have jokes because we're a comedian, so we don't like know jokes. I was like, that's probably one of those things. Like, I do another segment. on my podcast called Can You Not? Can You Not? And that's probably like one for you where you're like, can you not ask me to tell a joke

because I'm a comedian? Me, I guess. Yeah, I get it. Another one is for a can you not while we're there. People always think because I'm a size five in shoes that it's really easy for me to find shoes. I'm like, why do you think that? They don't make fives.

It's harder. No, it's actually a really tough size. Yeah. Yeah. Can you not? Size five awareness, mom. I'm so glad you're putting it. You're putting awareness out there for all the fives.

But you know what they say about girls with small feet type vaginas? And on that. There's the joke. Okay. Thank you guys for being here. That was so much fun. Thank you. Yeah.

I'm like, let's go get tattoos later. Okay. We're doing it. I'm Caitlin Bristow and I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com. the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's not with OTV?

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