Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grace Helbig

Episode Date: March 31, 2020

Kaitlyn has a fantastic chat with comedian, actress, and YouTube personality Grace Helbig! GEICO - Go to geico.com, and in fifteen minutes you could be saving fifteen percent or more on car insurance COORS LITE – Reach for the one beer that’s made to chill. TURBO TAX – All People Are Tax People See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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in your pocket it just may be the most rewarding to do you do today course if the pace of things is wearing you down take a moment pause refresh yourself and when you choose to turn off reach for the one beer that's made to chill and turbo tax get your taxes for you filed quickly and easily and get back to all those amazing things people do every day. TurboTax. All people are tax people. Wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Off the Wine. I'm your host Caitlin Bristow and today my guest truly does it all. She's a comedian, an actress, YouTube

personality, author and host of not one but two podcasts called Not Too Deep and this might get weird. And I love the fact that she's a host of a podcast called Not Too Deep because today, with everything going on, I know a lot of us use some Not Too Deep conversation and some good old fashion fun. So the last I had her on the podcast was over two years ago, definitely overdue for a catch-up and excited to hear what she's been up to. So please welcome to the podcast, Grace Helping. Hi. Hello. Thanks for having me back. Has it really been two years? Yes, I was just going to say, I can't believe it's been over a little over two years. That's so nuts. Yeah, that's absolutely crazy. But, you know, right now time doesn't exist. Time does not exist. Has this been going by quickly for you or like

painfully slow. It's the mix that I see everyone talking about where a day feels like a year, but then it also feels like it was the day before. It feels like times going in reverse and also incredibly quick at the same time. Yeah, I agree. I feel like, well, first of all, I've been quarantined for longer than most because I got sick before everything went down and it was like when everything was starting to happen. So I think I started being quarantined on the, of March. And yeah, and I'm honestly, I don't know why, but it's gone so fast for me. Like, I'm really enjoying just like this time of sleeping and not doing much and drinking whenever I can do. I think that's the way to handle it because it could go either way. You could totally like

lean into the anxiety and the stress of all of it and like live in the paralysis of I don't know what to do next or you can lean it and try and find the good in all of it. Right. I have a mixture of both. Like sometimes I'll have full-blown anxiety. Usually at like three in the morning when I decided to wake up and go like really dark into a dark hole. Yeah. But that's that's what happens. Otherwise, I just, I go one of two ways. I remember being four years old.

It was one of the first memories I ever had in this huge tornado came through where I lived. And I remember pretending I was sleeping because I was like, oh, if I just shut down and I don't deal with it and I'll just. And everything's fine because I'm, that's, I just shut down. And that's, I'll sometimes do that. and then sometimes I'll be like bat-shit crazy and have anxiety. Yeah, I think I can go either way. Melatonin has been a really fun friend during this time for me. But yeah, I have those like roller coaster moments of like the, oh my God, everything's

crumbling and there's nothing I can do and I'm helpless and the world, this might be a completely different world now. And then I look at my dog and I'm like, okay, let's just focus on your life hasn't changed and you're full of joy. Okay. And you stay home all day every day and you seem to be doing okay. Exactly. Did you, when you were getting, you were sick before this whole pandemic happened.

Like, that must have been kind of crazy. I was so scared. I had just traveled back from New York where like the first cases were like starting to spread. So everything's just checking off all these boxes. I had every symptom. It was awful. It was so scary. I ended up testing negative for COVID and positive for the flu.

but it was like I haven't had the flu I don't even remember last time in life I've had the flu and to get sick and have the flu at that time I'm like that was terrible timing yeah the universe is really messing with you it's like let's just too happy right now how can we throw a curveball how can we f*** this up for her yeah that's what they did but jokes on them I I survived but you got tested for COVID how was that experience because I haven't talked to anyone that's actually been tested okay so it was crazy because Because it was, I don't know how I got one. It was first come for serve.

And she was like, if you get here in like 15 minutes, we can probably do it. And I lived about 30 minutes away. And so I just jumped in the car. Jason took me. We went, had to go in the back door. They had to come, like, put me in masks. And they had to have masks and come out and get me. Then I sat in a room and they came with, it was awful.

It was four like swabs, huge, huge long swabs that had to go up your nose and like touch the top of your head basically through your nostril. and they had to like swirl it around up there four times like not just yeah so one in one nostril one in the other then the next one in the the nostril and then one and the other and it was it was not fun um but i did it and then it took four days almost five days for me to get the results back but negative so yeah what a fun four or five days that must have been well i just told myself i had it i was like well i'm just good i got to stay home like apologies to jason who's definitely going to get it if I have it and we're just going to have to be, you know, stuck home

for a couple weeks. But I mean, we're still stuck home anyways because social distancing for the win. Good for you. Good for everyone. I know. And I feel like you're a lot like me where you've probably set up your home in a way that like it's an okay experience to have to be stuck at home. I love it. I've, I've been like this morning, I built all this furniture. I've been waiting to build that's in my bonus room upstairs. I'm making it like this, like Zen room. And I've just been like everywhere has been my little sanctuary. Yeah, no, that's great. My boyfriend and I installed a new toilet the other day.

So did we. Yeah, we're just getting into Home Improvement. Now I'm looking at the old toilet that we took out, and I'm like, I'm going to make that into a planter in a couple days. Like, big plans. You're getting creative over there. Trying to keep the brain active. I see that you always drink Red Bull.

Now, that's something that gives me anxiety. Does that like your coffee? It is like my coffee. I'm from New Jersey originally, so I feel. like it's kind of like in my blood to begin with that's wait is that a thing uh i feel like jersey is just like the whole blanketed stereotype that like we're gas station garbage people but with full of heart and love well that's what's important i feel like it's just become my staple now and if i'm going to be home i'm just going to let myself have the few treasures that i love hey you know what

that's what it's all about right now you got to do what makes you happy and enjoy the little things that you know like like redbolt for me it's two o'clock and i'm drinking red wine. And I feel great about it. There you go. Zero guilt. And I always say anyways, like, even when I, even when this quarantine wasn't happening, I'm like, well, it's part of the job, you know, like it's, it's part of my brand. I'm promoting my wine. I'm doing what I do best on the podcast, drinking and talking. Like, it's, you know, so whatever. Zero guilt. You're still doing your job. You're being a professional is what you're really doing. You know what? I'm being a professional. I love the meme that's on the internet right now that says like me drinking at home alone 2019 sad disturbing loser me drinking home

alone 2020 citizen inspiration hero yep yep yep i know the thing that this it gives us the opportunity to really like reflect on what we thought was shitty about 2019 and go you know what we were kind of thriving maybe and we didn't appreciate it when we when we were doing it you're so right that's Exactly right. 2018 was like a shit show. And then 2019, like really wasn't that bad. But we're like, well, we have to wait for 2020 because 2020 is going to be the year. And it was like, JK, your year was last year and you guys blew it.

Yeah, exactly. Like appreciate stuff in the moment. See, you're going to be present, I guess. Who knows? Which I think we all will when we come out of this. I think we will appreciate like conversation more. We'll be more present. Like, there will be some good.

Yeah. I'm so curious to see how people come out on the other side of this. to see if this is going to take us back a step in like our actual socializing or if it's going to have us appreciate the moment that we can go hang out with friends, that we can go to a bar or restaurant or any of those things. Wait, why do you think it would take us back? Like everyone would be just scared to like talk and get near each other? Well, I'm one, I wonder about like the lingering anxiety and like the trust levels of everyone still of like, you know, you could only believe what you're the news that you're consuming and all of that stuff that I'm like I still a feeling that

we're going to go once like the green light is given like out but still with this sense of wariness of like do you like this is fun but like did you wash your hands right everyone's going to be just like unsure of each other and their their hygiene which everyone knows that listens to this podcast that my hygiene is questionable so no one's going to want to touch me after I know my whole brand has been built on the fact that I'm kind of a scum person now I'm like I should upgrade this brand image now. Yeah, yeah, we got we got to wash our hands a couple more times now and just like really really showcase that when we do it like look I showered today and I'm washing my hands. I'm changing who I am and and my hygiene. Exactly. That's so funny. All right,

do you own or rent your own home? Sure you do. And I bet it can be a lot of work. You know what's really easy? Bundling policies with Geico. Geico makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or rent insurance along with your auto policy. And it's a good thing, too, because you already have so much to do around your home. Go to geico.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. It's Geicoe easy. Visit guyco.com today. That's guyco.com. So what does a quarantine day look like for you and how you and your boyfriend live together, right? Yeah, we do. And so it's been nice because I did see, I think it was Jamil and Jamil was tweeting something last week about like thank God I like my partner like not even like I love my partner but like thank God I like them

and I enjoy being around them because like I looked at my boyfriend the other night and I was like do you know that there's so many people breaking up right now because absolutely this exact physical situation has just brought so much stuff to light and so much stuff to the surface and I'm like thank God for you like I enjoy you and you don't annoy me so we're okay right now wait he never annoys you No. No. Isn't that insane? I know. But it's crazy. Yeah, we have a good level of respect for each other and know when to give each other space, which I think is massive. That's very important is boundaries and space during this whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like separate rooms. Yeah. But a normal quarantine day, I've been trying to do, I've been trying to not sleep in past like nine. Wow. Good for you. As a means to like try and motivate myself to make my feel. make myself feel like I'm still doing something. And then I try to get some work done early in the morning so that all of like the watching reality TV and, you know,

baking cakes and eating them are like rewarded. That's, I'm the opposite of you. I'm like being such a piece of shit in this time. But I keep telling myself, because I get a Peloton bike tomorrow. And I'm like, that's when I'll start. That's when I'll start being, you know, I don't get out of bed till like 11.30 right now. I'm like, I get up and I eat and then I go, well, I guess I could have a nap. And then I go have a nap and I don't get out of my sweatsuit.

Yeah, there's still a ton of just kind of like wandering around my house looking at things like I could do. Like I was just watching 90 day fiancé. Like I'm, but I'm like answering one email and going, that was pretty good. Okay, we can still keep watching this. That's funny because I, you know, I'm the same. I got up and built furniture this morning, so I'm not that big of a piece of shit, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all balanced.

It's balance. Okay, tell me about your podcast, first of all. The Not Too Deep is, is that you alone? Yeah, not too deep as me alone. We started that podcast like six years ago or so. I had a couple friends that started podcasts, especially in like the YouTube world, that were really beautiful, like thought-provoking, very, like, candid conversations with people. and I had gone on their podcast and I was like, wow, I don't think I've even told like my mom half of the

things that I just talked about you guys. I don't have an intense, but like overwhelming experience. So I was like, I want to create the opposite version of that, something that's just surface level. But, you know, in the six years that we've been doing it, it's now become more, you know, real conversations with people because humans are endlessly fascinating. And I'm sure you get it, like the chance to talk to people that do so many different things. how they do so many different things is just like very interesting to me so that's been happening for like six years and then the other podcast this might get weird is with my best friend mamory

who was on yes love maimery yeah uh and we started that we've been best friends for like over a decade and uh we had this web series called this might get which was like our version of like kathy and hoda and then the funding got pulled out from that show so we had podcasts a quick And I was like, this seems like an easy kind of transition for us. Why don't we start that? And we've been doing that for like a year and a half now. And it's it's just us talking as best friends about what we've been up to each week. It's really a nice release.

It's so funny because I feel like people love just like, think about Instagram stories. There's something like where you love just being a part of somebody's conversation without having to like actually be there or see what they're doing in their days. Like, it's for, you know? Yeah, after we did your podcast, I became like so infatuated with your social media because I was like, she's just so candid and real. And she's taking us to get her Botox done. And this is just fascinating.

And I loved it. And I'm like, oh, and the podcast that I listened to the most are like my best friends that are best friends that are friends of mine that just talk to each other. And I just find it so interesting. So we did our version of that. That's awesome. I think, like, if you think about radio shows growing up, like you loved listening to them in the morning or just being part, you just felt like you were there with them. And I feel like that's exactly what podcasting is. Like, I don't know why, but it's just nice to listen to somebody else's conversation and what they're up to. And it's some, it's always relatable in a way. And like, I don't know. And it's very great after like doing so much stuff on YouTube that's very edited and very curated. It's really nice to just have conversations that breathe that are editing. and you just kind of get into real talk sometimes and I just really like that I do too yeah I love podcasting and that's yeah because you've been doing YouTube for how long now uh over 10 years now and so

it's it's a great I don't even know how what's happening on YouTube these days so overwhelming wait are you on TikTok I have to ask you that that was I was I had that question written down for you I am but I just like it's so hard like TikTok is hard. It's, I, I've signed up for an account a few weeks ago, haven't done anything with it, haven't even like looked at the landscape of it yet, because it just overwhelms me. It feels, it makes me feel like my parents, when I first told them what YouTube was. And my other friend has been trying to educate me on how it is like user friendly and easy to use, but I just, I can't wrap my head around it yet. I also can't dance. It's not user

friendly. It's a huge component of TikTok. But that's kind of funny when people can't dance and do TikTok. Like, that's what's entertaining. Because when I see people who can dance, I'm like, oh, well, you can, like, you can, you know, it's fun to watch people fail. Yeah. No, that's very true. That's very true. Yeah.

Like, the funniest videos out there are people, like, falling and failing and doing, you know, like, it's, that's the funny stuff right there. So maybe you thrive. And, yeah, maybe. I mean, I have the time. So that's, that was, we were talking about this last night. Like, it's, it's such an. excuse for so many things like that you want to you know have a drink at one in the afternoon while COVID like we could do that or you want to like start a TikTok account but you're in your 30s

and then you feel like you're don't get it but then you do it because you're like well I've got time it's it's an excuse for a lot of things that truly are make like I love dancing and TikTok I've done a few and I'm like I just as soon as I scroll and I see other people's TikTok I'm like I suck at this I know that's the thing it's so it's so it's It seems so intimidating the way it's edited. I'm like, these are, these are really well done. And I know I could figure this out, but they just see it. Like, they're doing it.

I know. These young kids, like, are genius and they're so creative. And, like, they just get it. I'm like, oh, man, like, I wish I had that kind of creative outlet when I was a kid. Like, I think it's really good for kids doing this kind of stuff. Yeah, I'm interested to see how it affects kids after they grow up. but I think it's really nice for them to have creative outlets like that. Yeah, absolutely.

Well, the internet in general, I'm curious about how people will grow up now. But anyways, oh, man, that's a whole bag of worms. Yeah, I could do a two-year podcast on that. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Okay, so you ask two questions to ever guessed on Not Too Deep, and I'm going to put you in the hot seat and make you answer your own questions, okay? Definitely.

Okay. So who, alive or dead, would you most want to throw cold spaghetti at? Oh, gosh. Right now, who would I most want to throw cold spaghetti at? Jessica from Love is Blind. She actually listens to this podcast, so I'm like, love you. Does she? Have you had her on yet?

No, but I would like to. I don't know if she's doing, I don't know she's doing a lot of media because I think she's, like, obviously upset with how things went down or how she was portrayed, but I would love to have her on. Yeah, I got fascinated by Love is Blind. I know she moved to, like, Los Angeles or something after. So I'm also curious and also would like to talk to her, I guess. Don't worry. We'll get into Love is Blind.

I think maybe I would say myself for a TikTok video would probably be. That's a good idea. Right? I mean, I have all we've stocked up on lately is spaghetti. So I have the means to make this happen. There you go. Perfect. And then tell me your worst shit in your pants story or close call.

I know you use three words or phrases on your podcast, but I want the full story. The full story. Okay. Well, the three phrases I use on my podcasts are college jogging front lawn. And the story behind it is that in college, like running is like my exercise that I do. And I was home at my dad's house over the summer, I think, when I was in college. And I decided I was trying to go on like long. and longer runs and it was like the longest run I had done it was I was trying to do like 10 miles or

something and because he lives in like a very wooded area and it's really beautiful and run around and I got like the furthest point away from his house like the halfway point to turn around and nature called and there was a lot of people's properties are spaced out enough that I borrowed a bush from the front lawn of a stranger. And you do what you have to do and then you run away. Yeah, good thing you're a runner and you could just run away after. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the second half of the run went a lot faster than the first half of the run.

So it worked out. That's, you saw the silver lining in that one. That's a win-win. You took your jog up a notch and you burned some more calories and you really went for it. It's truly, truly. And my digestive system was really working. that day. So it was actually an okay day. Yeah, that sounds that sounds like a great day. I tried so hard to get into running, but then I got sick. I was trying to do first of all, I heard it was

27 days in a row of running makes you crave running, but that's so hard on your joints. Then I heard it was 21 days to like break a habit or like get into a habit. And so I was trying to at least go for 21 days. And I was on day 12 and that's when I started getting sick. And now I'm like, well, I don't run anymore but tell me about running like do you have did it did you always love running or did it take you all to get into it or what like tell me sell me on running i'm not even like a runner like i have a treadmill in my house which thank god i have now in this situation um and but i also have like a tv in front of my treadmill so it's my way of kind of uh making it again okay to watch reality tv if i'm like walking on the treadmill at the same time there you go um but yeah but yeah

I was more into it in college, and now I've, like, fallen off a little bit. But I, like, what my anxieties and stuff like that get, uh, inflated. I can tell if I haven't, like, physically moved. I'm sure you have the same thing where it's like, I just have to sweat a little bit or just have to like get some sort of activity. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's, I find it so hard.

But I, again, once I started, I got better each day. Like it was, it's crazy how much better you do get just in like even a week of doing it. I was like, oh, dang. I can. I'm a runner but I know when you start to crave the endorphins and you're like I could really do this and then you see actual runners and you're like oh no okay you got yeah this is that's like you just said you ran 10 miles oh like 10 years ago so still we're not at that level anymore that is wild all right life today can be kind of a lot it seems like we always need to be on and rarely get a

minute to ourselves to just relax. So personally, I feel like I'm always going place to place or right now running task to task actually and talking to a million different people, but I know how important it is to try and hit a reset button every now and then. So when I crack open a mountain cold Coors Light, it feels like I'm doing just that. It's the perfect thing to sip on when you just want to relax. Have you noticed that the mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold? It's the little things right now, okay? I love it so much. Reminds me of home, reminds me to just chill for a second. With everything going on,

sometimes we need a minute to turn off for a little bit. Coors Brewing Company was born in the Rocky Mountains of Golden, Colorado, in 1978, and each Coors Light goes through a three-step cold process. So cold loggered, cold filtered, and cold packaged. It's literally actually made to chill. So cool. Get it. When you want to get away from it all, reach for the one beer that's made to chill.

It's refreshing, crisp, and only 102. calories with my three boys by my side and a Coors Light in my hand could not be more content. That's why Coors Light is the one I choose when I need a moment of chill. So when you're ready to reset, reach for the beer that's made to chill. You can have a Coorslight delivered by going to get.corslight.com and finding local delivery options near you. Celebrate responsibly Coors Burning Company, Golden, Colorado. Okay.

And love is blind. When did you finish watching that? Oh, my God. Okay, so I had avoided it for when it first came out and had, like, so many people texting me because they know I love reality TV being like, you're going to love this show. And so I, like, bit the bullet and I started watching it. And my boyfriend doesn't love reality TV to my level, but I convinced him to watch the show with me. And he got really into it because he's very into, like, psychoanalytical stuff and, like, the psychology behind why people do what they do. And so we got super into it.

it. And then we went on a vacation for his birthday. We went to London. And it was still, because they were like, you know, releasing the episodes staggered, that I bought a VPN, which is like a scram, it scrambles your IP on your computer so we could watch it overseas. And my computer was amazing. Yeah, because the Netflix, this wasn't available in the UK. And so I was like, I'm so desperate to watch this. I can't possibly wait three days to go back home. So, yeah, it was just like us in a hotel room in London for his birthday, like huddled up watching the final episodes. It was so fascinating. It's so interesting.

I just love the new style of like cameras in the wall and less, like, you know, and less cameras in the room with people because I feel like they were, they really caught real candid moments between people that probably wouldn't have happened, like a boom operator. I didn't even think about that. That's a good point. That's what I was like, oh, how are they so like open about so many things and how is Jessica just like really going for it? Because she seemed so in tune and like aware of reality shows and how they're crafted and edited. You could tell that she was like trying to curate her narrative a little bit. Right. They just were able to catch so many small big moments. because I feel like there wasn't an actual, like, producer and cameraman in the room with them. So it was, like, real hangs and that fascinated.

Do you think they had producers, like, in a, like, speaker coming through and talking them in the rooms? I think they must have. I'm so fascinated by, like, the dynamics of how it all comes together. But because did you watch the circle as well? I'm watching it right now. Okay. So the circle, you can kind of tell because they, the way that they talk.

to each other, they're phrasing everything in like full sentences, which isn't normal conversation, that you can kind of tell that there's probably like a voice of God producer that will like tell them to talk through exactly what messages they're sending. And so I'm, I, I assume that that's kind of what happened on love is blind. That's so crazy. Now I keep thinking about how true that statement is that you just said. Like if it, if on The Bachelor, these cameras were not right there. like these you know on bats are in certain reality shows most reality shows these cameras are like insanely huge and the guys behind it are looking at you like you're a freaking moron and like they're just like oh my god this girl and when if they weren't there that changes the whole

dynamic of it because i feel like it would be so much more genuine and yeah that i didn't even think about that everyone's awareness because that's my favorite thing on reality shows is like when they pull out and you get an actual like facial reaction from I'm like a sound operator or something. Oh, yeah. But I feel like they're all very interesting people that the way to capture them in their natural habitat is like hidden cameras everywhere. Yes, that's so funny.

And what about Tiger King? Have you got into that? Oh, burned through that immediately. I feel like I, and I don't know if I should be proud of this. I feel like I was probably one of the first people to watch. Really? Yes, you should be. out of that. Just because we were going through everything on Netflix and like burning through stuff and

I started like, I turned on Netflix in the middle of the day and I was like, this wasn't here before. And you know, it starts auto playing. My boyfriend was in the bathroom. I was like, Elliot, I'm waiting for you. This looks great. We have to watch this. And he's from Florida. So it all was like a perfect storm. It was so insane. I can't still wrap my head around it. At one point halfway through, we were like, let's make bets on what we think will happen next. couldn't even do that because right because it's so unpredictable like that every episode i'm i'm only on episode five right now and each one i'm like i get mad at myself i've put it on to um like before i i fall asleep and i'm like so tired just trying to stay awake like one eye open being like no kately

you have to watch this because it's just so wild it's so wild and i kept going through peaks and valleys of being like this is this is like flaming my anxiety right now i can't watch this and then being like i've got to see what happens this is so crazy yeah i'm i'm the same way like sometimes i'm sometimes i just need to shut it off just because i get so overwhelmed by it and then but five minutes later i'm like put that shit back on yeah exactly because then you're just like these are real people these are real people these are real lies these are real tigers like it's a whole world i had no idea about now i feel like we've probably talked about this on the first podcast because I talk about it with everyone.

But do you have misophonia? I really thought you would know what that is. Misophonia, when you like the sound of other people's like chewing or like those kinds of like someone eating cereal like just drives you bonkers. Oh, I don't think. No, you would know. But Mamrie, my friend definitely, definitely has that. Like she'll hit you on the mouth if you're like making weird noise.

Yes. Okay. Then she 1,000 percent has it. you would know if you had it because you'd be like oh i can't stand that sound oh yeah no i think i think it bothers me but not to that extent i'm even to the point where that producer guy with the hat who talks like this like his voice i i like cringe and shudder every time he talks on that show and the the sound of his voice just irritates the shit out of me oh yeah i can see that i can totally see that guy's bonkers it's so it's so nuts it's so nuts it just blows i mind how much

footage they still have of everything happening all the time i know that's that well because that guy clearly i mean he said it wanted to be famous and recorded everything which thank god because it's making our lives of quarantine just so much better with this content yeah absolutely i'm like there has to be a follow up to this and also he has to be in his jail cell like loving it so much oh absolutely he's he's a star in his mind in his mind in his mind in his mind in his mind yeah for better or worse yeah we'll be back with more off the vine with kaitland bristow from the network that brought you the cold case files podcast comes i survived the classic stories you know with new interviews updating each woman's story with everything that happens after

survival i survived because i convinced him that i was a person i survived because i was a smarter person than my assailant. I survived because I believe God saved me. Surviving is just the beginning of their story. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. I wanted to play a little game with you called Never Have I Ever, which we all know, but quarantine edition.

All right. Yeah. So never have I ever wiped with something other than toilet paper. Ooh, yeah. Oh, I have for sure. And this trying times, we're like, my boyfriend just came back. with the last like thing of toilet paper from a grocery store and I'm like this is the sexiest thing you've ever done is walk back in with a bag of toilet paper because we've been on very low supply

and I tried to buy up all of like the wet wipes as much as like and so yeah it's been um it really forces you to get creative yeah so would you use um I've used a toilet roll I've done that too same oh my God that's so funny same yeah I was I'm like day two of my period so it's like I don't care I can do whatever I want I have my oh my god we're so synced up I'm on day two of my period yeah Mamrie is too it's happening to all of us the heck it's like even I have a girl group chat and there's I think nine of us in there and we're all on their period right now except for one girl God bless her her time will come oh I'm just I'm like you must be pregnant everybody's on their period right now do you get bad PMS

yes and now I've been able to pinpoint it to the point where like I look at LA and I'm just like it's coming because I I'm I'm irritated by everything right now me too I I have a period tracker app called P tracker and it's like without fail correlates every time my irritability correlates with my period every single time what's your main symptom is it like sensitivity like emotional is it like anger it changes which is weird because I used to be really emotional and cry a lot on my on my period but now it's like more irritability where I'm just like like everything annoys me and I get very easily frustrated and like mad and I just have to like stay to myself because if I'm if I'm alone I'm totally fine but even just like like Instagram

or like Jason could I obviously have to like take a step back I don't ever say anything to him like I'm going to be like you're doing this wrong but like that's how I feel inside where he's not doing anything wrong and in my in like internally i'm like why is he using a fork for macaroni and cheese like i can pick anything and it'll just irritate me and i'll have to internalize it because i know it's so ridiculous oh yeah and i don't know how to i need to figure out the language to use to communicate like this isn't personal i'm going to be unconsciously saying some nitpicky things about you but i need you to know that something is taking over my body it's an alien invasion this month and this is what's happening it is it's absolutely an alien invasion

i totally agree with that and i feel that on such a spiritual level i genuinely go to like a really dark place for about three days of every month yeah yeah yeah god okay back to wiping with anything other than toilet paper um never have i ever eaten dessert for breakfast now this is just in quarantine oh the quarantine doesn't even matter for this one Yeah, I have such a sweet tooth that I eat cake for breakfast, like first thing in the morning. Like, I have tried to convince myself that it's like a mature life hack that I have all gummy vitamins. So I do that too. Yeah.

So that's the first thing I eat in the morning is I crave sugar. So I'm just like, oh, well, I'm eating my vitamins. Got to take my vitamins. But yeah, I love sweets so much. Me too. I've just, it's in the last four years, I've really, my sweet tooth just gets worse as time goes on. I used to never have a sweet tooth. And now, two days ago, I think, who knows with this time, I had Oreos, like a whole bag of mini Oreos for breakfast. And it was amazing. Yeah. Oh, I actually

did the same exact thing. Elliot loves Oreos. So we have them in the house all the time. And I don't think I've eaten in Oreos since I was in, like, middle school. And then the other more than thing, I just walked into him, he was still asleep. And I was like, I ate the rest of the Oreos for breakfast. I'm just letting you know. Wow, we are really like on the same page in quarantine life here. We really are. We both wiped with the toilet paper roll. We're both on day two of our period. We both get PMSE and we both ate Oreos for breakfast. It's very comforting to hear. I feel I feel heard and not so long. I feel I'm in a safe space now. I really do. I'm like, can't wait to find out what else we do. That's the same. All right, people do amazing things every day. So it makes

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Oh, yeah. I mean, that's also quarantine aside. Once you start working from home regularly, it's just like it's, why? Why? Well, that's, so my girlfriend has this theory because she is a mom of two and she stays at home with them. And she said, it's like a mental thing where if you get out of bed and you change, like even if you change into another sweatsuit, just change and not wear the same clothes you slept in. And for some reason, I'm like, I don't want to. Like, I've been in the same sweatsuit for four days now.

I buy into that theory and I have done that. Like, I have put jeans on when I really want to feel like I'm ready to do something. But I also still do that. we, a couple months ago, we're a little drunk and we're watching Shark Tank and ordered comfies, those giant sweatshirts. And they showed up. And it's been like the greatest thing I've ever purchased. Wait, a comfy or a snuggy? Comfy. Not to be confused with the snuggy. It's like this oversized sweatshirt with a giant pocket that can technically fit like an iPad in it if you need to. And it is truly the most comfortable thing. I got a

McDonald's Snuggie sent to me and that that's really made my life a lot better. Oh yeah. I went on Amazon this morning and ordered like a men's onesie. I was like maybe. I mean, I don't, if I update my wardrobe, even if it's still onesies, it's something new. Okay. I have a question because nobody's like really caring about what they wear or anything right now. So have you been doing any online shopping or is that a guilty pleasure of yours in general? Because I don't know why, but for some reason I think it's because I'm just laying on my couch. I'm shopping more than usual. Yeah, I have been. I just got a package from Sephora the other day that I forgot that I ordered last week when I woke up feeling like kind of miserable PMSE that I was like makeup will make me

feel prettier and make me then feel better on the inside, right? So yeah, but I've been trying to be a good person and donate to like No Kid Hungry and like Feeding America and then order myself some things so I try to find the balance yeah I do that too because I just have like so many clothes I don't wear and at least once a month I go through and just pack up bags of clothes and take them somewhere like to donate and then buy more yep yep yep yep it gives you reason yeah it does it makes me feel better about it um this one I already know because I never have ever made a TikTok video but you need to do the cold spaghetti throwing at yourself TikTok. Yeah, I think it has to happen. I've got it. You know the, um, have you, have, do you watch

TikTok videos? I've, I, I know. I mean, I've seen TikTok videos here and there, but I'm not like looking through the app and scrolling through. Okay, there's this one that's trending right now and it's like, um, that, is it Bruno Mars? Bruno Mars song. It's like, stop. Wait a minute. Dun, then, da, da, da, da, da, da, nah, nah. But it's like they go and they have flour in their hands and they'll just go up to somebody and it goes stop and it's like an uncomfortable amount of time and the other person's like what are you doing and and they're like just standing there and then it goes wait a minute and they like throw flour in their face you need to do that with cold spaghetti there we go yeah because it's not it's not you know harmful necessarily it can be a joyful toss exactly a joyful toss yeah it just

has to be you know like gently onto your face yeah no I get it never have I ever drank before noon Yeah. Oh, for sure. I wrote that down and I was like, this is stupid. Like, who doesn't once in a while have a drink before noon? Another one I had, but I was like, no, we all do that all the time. It's talked out loud to my dog. I talk. My sister sent me the funniest meme of a dog stretching.

And it was like, if you don't say, oh, that's a big stretch every time you're talking to that, are you even a dog mom? Every single time I used to say, that's a good stretch, goose. get that good stretch and it's and it's so now automatic that I don't know that I'm doing it same but now I laugh since my sister said that to me I'm like oh that's a big stretch and then I'm like oh my god every time I do that that's so funny oh I don't yeah my dog and I've had so many full conversations so many did you hear but have you heard about the dog that um there's like a Instagram account. Someone was telling me on another podcast. There's an Instagram dog account where they can press buttons. This dog presses a button and talks to you. So like he's figured out how to say sentences. Like I need food now or I'm hungry or I need to go outside and it's buttons that he presses that talks. What? I'll send you. I'll send you the Instagram account. Um, because you have to see it. It's fascinating. They have like quite a bit like a huge following, which they should because. Who doesn't want to see a dog talk to their owner?

Yeah, that's very fascinating and also kind of scary because I asked Mamrie this on our podcast other day that I was like, okay, and maybe this is a good question for you because you have two dogs, right? Yeah. Okay. If you could, would you actually want your dogs to be able to talk back? Yes. Really?

See, I don't think I would. I think the joy in talking to a dog is that they can't talk back because I know that I won't get any discouragement when I'm talking. talking to my dog about irrational things that's fair yeah but then don't you want to know what they're thinking and what they have to say to you i do want to know that i want to know what they're thinking when they're just like staring at a wall doing nothing but but i think i'd only want it for a very short period of time that does okay because my main thing like i and i think a lot of dog owners feel this way like i just want to know what they're thinking i just wish they could talk but now that you bring up that point and i think about i'm like you're kind of right yeah that i'm like i don't know

if I want Goose to respond to me because I think I like the fact that she can't respond to me because if I wanted a response, I would probably just talk to Elliot again. You're right. I like talking to the dogs and not having them say anything back. Yeah, because also I just wouldn't want to know how smart she is and what her thoughts on my behavior over the last like seven years have been. Do you believe in, and you can be honest with me, because I'm a little woo-woo with this, but do you believe in, like, dog mediums and, like, mediums being able to talk to your dog? I believe that anything is possible.

I don't know that I've seen enough, like, footage or videos or of that to know, like, how in-depth it could be and how, like, spot-on it could be. But, like, I believe in, you know, tarot and all that stuff. So, yeah, that kind of goes hand in hand. I'm going to send you this girl's information, and I'm going to get you to reach out and see if she'll do a medium. session with your dog oh my god just so you could see because then you'll kind of know these things but you again you won't have to have them talk back to you but that you could ask whatever questions you want like you don't have to know things you don't want to know wow and she's bang on wait so you've done this yeah I did it with both dogs and she like I don't think she like knows who I

am on Instagram like it's not like she follows the dogs she's um so she but what's really weird is she text me she doesn't text you like on the norm like but when peanut or when Rahman was in the hospital one time, she messaged me and she was like, I'm just checking in on ramen. And nobody knew he was in there. Weird. See, that stuff, I believe in that stuff. And that stuff freaks me out in like a cool way.

But yeah, that's pretty nuts. It was so wild and so many things that she said. What was like the most profound or like a thing that she said that like affected you the most? That because I had ramen as an emotional support animal. and so he flew with me a few times and I noticed that he would get like a little anxious on planes just for like the first two times and she said um you know he's a rescue so he doesn't know where you're taking him or like if he's going somewhere else and then she said if you just have the conversation with him and she said I will too about how he's your emotional support animal and how that's his job like that is his job is to make you less anxious and to help you and and so she was like one second and she came back like five minutes later and she was like he knows that's his job now and you you watch he'll and it was the next flight we took he was so calm such a great traveler was just so like proud and protective of me it was wild and i was like holy shit she was right wow he became employee of the month immediately yes he got the greatest parking spot in all of the driveway he he really was he took it was like he was proud to do it it was crazy That's bonkers. Yeah, so I'm going to send you her information because I would love to know if she, like, blew your mind with that kind of thing.

But I think it might take a little while to get in with her, but it's worth it. Okay, to finish this off, we're just going to do, well, I'm going to let you pick. Okay, do you want to play Desert Island or Isolation Island or Rapid Fire? Let's do Isolation Island. Okay, Isolation Island. One alcoholic beverage that you'd want to have with you. Oh, Titos. Just plain, just on the rocks?

Yeah. I'm not fancy. I love that about you. One food you'd choose to eat for every meal. Ooh, one food I choose to eat for every meal. Pancakes. Oh, that's a good one. I feel like I wouldn't get sick of them.

Yeah, and because you have a sweet tooth, so syrup. A little bit of both. Yeah, I hear that. Okay. One outfit you'd want to be wearing. My comfy. Of course, duh. I don't know why I even ask that.

One game you'd want to have on hand. One game I'd want to have on hand. and I'm by myself. I play like word games on my phone a lot, so probably one of those. Are you on words with friends? Not on words with friends. Elliot and I've been playing a lot of Scrabble in quarantine. I love games in general.

Like I love sitting down and playing games. Yeah. Quarantine just seems like such a perfect time to do that. Like we keep playing Monopoly Deal is a really great one. It's a card game of Monopoly. Crib we love. What else do we play? Oh, Rummy Cube.

Have you ever played Rummy Cube? ever played it's amazing if you want to get a new game um to look into it okay one app on your phone you'd want to use probably instagram i guess yeah i think so too because you can say connected with everybody no that's a cheating question you don't get an app you don't get an app yeah i'm like do i so if i have an app i have wifi then but i mean it's isolation island so i don't know anything goes here um one podcast other than ours that you'd want to listen to um probably psychobabble to my friend Tyler Oakley and Corey Cool and they're just sweethearts and they have very hilarious conversations wait what's it called again psychobabble psychobabble okay yeah they're both like internet

people but they did the amazing race together and they just like gossip with each other every week it's so fun oh okay I love that because I um just in this all this time I'm like god I should start listening to some other podcast so that's a good one okay I'll listen to that one and then one movie you'd have on repeat Oh, see, I don't watch movies on repeat. One movie that I'd have on repeat. We watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mine the other night, and I forgot how good it was. That's a great movie. Okay.

Oh, wait. Last one. One random object you'd want to bring with you. One random object. And if you don't say a dildo, you're lying. I think I'd need toilet paper. There's so much you can do with it. That's fair.

Okay. Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. Thank you. And tell everyone where they can find your podcasts, plural, and you and everything. Sure. I'm just at Grace Helvig on all social media and Not Too Deep and this might get weird. You can listen to Not Too Deep on Mondays and this might get weird on Wednesdays, everywhere you get your podcast. That's amazing.

Thank you so much. And let's not wait two years to do this again sometime. Yeah. We're trying to get you on Not Too Deep. We're going to figure out some time. I would love to. I've got time. Great.

Perfect. Okay. Thanks so much. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Oscar Vine with Caitlin Brisco. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

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