Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: (20)22 Questions with Brandon “Welch’s” Jones

Episode Date: December 30, 2021

There is no better way to get excited for the New Year ahead of us than by sitting down with Brandon Jones… a man so beloved that we couldn’t even find mean Tweets about him. Kaitlyn and Brandon are chatting for the first time since their interview on After the Final Rose, and in honor of 2022, Kaitlyn is asking him 22(ish) questions to get to know who Brandon is besides from the corny-slash-smooth runner up we saw on our screens. We’re finding out what really goes down in the DMs, his love languages, his dating deal breakers, and getting a couple “smooth” confessions from back in the day. Brandon shares what he’s looking forward to in the year ahead, and his New Year’s resolution may just surprise you. Plus, did Brandon really throw the Neil Lane ring!? We get all the answers and behind the scenes of what went down that day. See you next year, vinos!  TRAVISMATHEW - Head over to TravisMathew.com/radio and take 20% off your TravisMathew order at checkout when you use the code “VINE20”. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up. If you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there, swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in.

This week's great therapy is sponsored by Travis Matthew. Head over to Travis Matthew.com slash radio and take 20% off your Travis Matthew order at checkout when you use the code Vine 20. Hey guys, this is Kail Lowry. And this is V. Rivera. We're the host of Baby Mama's No Drama. Every Tuesday, we talk about parenting, co-parenting, lifestyle, and sex, pop culture, current events. and pretty much all the things you want in one podcast. So download and subscribe on your favorite podcast app.

Listen to us every Tuesday and join us with all the tea. We're on with OTV. Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Grace Therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your question. Drink to your concessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Great Therapy. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. So if you watched the finale of Michelle's season and after the final rose, you already know that this man made me so dang emotional. He almost made my mascara run on

national live television. He made a lot of my mascara run when it was the finale. We were long overdue for a catch-up, but we finally had the chance to meet up via Zoom and catch up. We talk a little bit about his time on the show. I mean, there were so. more questions I needed answers to as well. But we're mostly just talking about who Brandon is outside of the franchise today. We're welcoming 2022 by dedicating this episode to 22-ish questions with Mr. Brandon Jones. And we're getting into everything from hopes and dreams to life lessons, to worst date stories. And we also set a word of intention for 2022, which, as you all know, listening right now is right around the corner. So I hope you enjoy the last episode of Off the Vine

this year. And because I had to say it, I'll see you next year. Okay, let's get into it. Wait, why do you look all fancy like that? How did you get your background blurred like that? Me? Yeah. I don't know. I just turned it on and I practically did it. Oh my God.

It's like you're like floating in your screen. And it's like, I don't know, super HD, good quality. Thank you for that. How are you? I'm doing good. How are you? I'm good. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things.

Like it's that awkward time in between Christmas. and the new year where you're like, could I just start pre-drinking for the new year now on like two days before or like, what do I do with myself? Yeah, no, I think, you know, Tuesday or Wednesday, you kind of get that pre-drink going. Yeah, and then you just prepare yourself for New Year's. Yeah, it's perfect. Yeah, I'm just warming up the liver, you know? I actually did that over the holidays. How are your holidays? My holidays were good. My holidays. I was bouncing everywhere. It's snowing in Oregon, so we got a white

Christmas this year. Yeah, it's pretty cool. yeah that's not is that that's not normal is it no well that's it okay it's like 75 degrees in sunny in Nashville so it's definitely not a white criss over here it's like it feels odd I grew up in Canada so I'm like um where's the snow and like usually I bundle the F up to even like get out of bed and it's hot and I have the AC on and it's weird yeah no it's a little bit different Tennessee I get that little different okay I'm happy to see you I mean obviously I wish this could be in person, but I did see you in person after the final rose.

Okay, I feel like you've done a few podcasts since then. So I'm not going to like completely beat a dead horse with like, would you get back with Michelle, those kinds of questions? But I just want to touch on a few things. And then I'm going to just have fun with you. And we're just going to ask you a bunch of questions that people don't know about you. Okay, cool. Let's do it.

Because you're probably really sick of this because everyone's like, you're like, I've moved on. She's moved on. It's been a few months. Like, do we really still have to talk about? but we do just a little bit and then we're going to have fun okay okay cool we have to address one thing because nobody's talked to you about this yet the fact that you said on live national television kills me that was so funny because you were talking really quietly and i was like and then you're like oh pardon my french and i was like wait did you just swear it's it's live and you were like

oh no yeah almost when you said oh it's live i almost cussed again i was like oh yeah and then uh I don't know. It was just in the moment. I was just talking to her. And yeah, literally, somehow I got to her parents. I was like, wow, I just missed your parents. I can lie. And yeah. And I looked at you and you're like, this is live. And I was like, oh. Because usually like, yeah, those forget that it was live. Like you knew going into it that it was live. You just forgot in that moment. Yeah. Like, she still, she still has that effect where like when you're talking to her, it's just you guys. And so I was just talking to her like it was just us. And. totally tuned out the entire audience and that it was live recording so yeah that was a little embarrassing but uh no i thought it was great i love that because like i think everybody was worried that i would be the one to do that uh because i just have like i swear all the time and so i thought everyone was even my sister my sister died she texts me and she goes i love that it wasn't you that dropped an f bomb on live tv she goes i i i would have put all my money on it being you i was like i know me too so it was funny i like when people do because it's just

makes it more real you're like oh this is live television like anything could happen i loved it i don't think people minded but i just thought it was funny and you're right when you're talking to her you're just like she's just so down to earth that you become so down to earth and then you're just i also feel like you're you're really good at being like i don't mean this in a bad way but like a chameleon like you really match people's energy so when people are nervous i feel like you get nervous or when people are like being funny you get funny when people are chill you're more chill do you agree yeah yeah a little bit The nervous part, if someone's nervous, I'll be a little more outgoing just because I see when, I don't know, it's just me. Like, when things get nervous or things get tense, I'm the one who just starts laughing.

Yeah. Like, I can't, I can't contain it. Like, everyone will be dead silent and I'll be the only one just chuckling because the silence just kills me. So usually, yeah, I match other people's energy. So that's funny. I know that you, you know, obviously it's been a few months and you've moved on. and you said on another podcast that like if Michelle ever did want you back

you would probably say no because you want to be chosen first but I do have to say that there's a lot of bachelor people out there who have made a mistake not that she did she obviously did not make a mistake for everybody's sake but there's a lot of people who have made a mistake

and went back to their runner up and I don't know if you've watched the show or you were probably like a baby when the Jason Mesnick thing happened but that has happened before and sometimes people realize that it's you know that that is true love but you're you're said on that or would you at least be friends with michel or could you oh yeah i mean i'd definitely be friends with her see the thing for me is that when i when i mean like chosen first that means like there was a lot of pressure that day

and there was a lot of thought process that went into it and you know in those decisions i want to be chosen first you know by my significant other so yeah just just to me personally like later in life like what if we do get back together later in life and then there's a tough decision like that and then she doesn't choose me again you know what i mean i feel i need to know that from the beginning you're going to choose me because in the end when things get a lot tougher uh i need to know that you're going to still choose me so and when i talk to everybody who comes off the show and they weren't the chosen one i always ask if watching the show back helped give you closure from seeing her relationship with Nate. Did you get more closure or was it more confusing?

It was definitely more confusing. I think, you know, to anyone else going out there who gets second up, I think, you know, watching it back, you think that you're going to get clarity, but you will never get clarity. I think the only clarity is truly like surrounding yourself by people you love and them humbling you and letting you know that, you know, this is you. You gave your all. You're, you know, the next person you do it to won't, you know, pass that up. So, no, definitely, definitely a lot more confusing, a lot more confusing. And I know I had to cut you off because it was live television to get to a commercial break because I was going, I'm, no, I'm like, you're like, I hope you got the clarity you needed. I was like, well, whoa, whoa, whoa, I still have like 60 more questions, like clarity.

Well, it's, I was like, they need more time. They need more time. And it was like, you got to go to commercial break. And I was like, oh, well, I hope you got the closure you needed. And you looked at me like, hell, no, I did it. So is there anything now you need closure about, or do you feel like there's been so much time that's past that you're like, you know what, onto the next chapter of my life? Like maybe I don't get questions answered. Maybe I just move on. Yeah, I think, you know, it's that option just at this point is at this time I just need to move on.

My question was I asked her that, you know, I don't think that answered was, you know, what was the disconnect? That was the only question I had, you know. At this point, you know, I'm so happy for them. all the down payment that they got in a house. So I'm just happy for them to start a family, do all that. But at this point, you know, it's like time for me to let that go and like start the next chapter. So I did get closure. You know, I saw her, had a good time, got closure, whatever.

But no, I think it's my time to start my next journey and their time to start their journey together. Yeah, I agree. I think, you know, you can only hang on to something for so long and then just take it upon. That's what I wanted to ask you about any. one that's listening who kind of like you know i know you said in another interview you were almost thinking about changing who you were to fit a certain mold for michel but what advice would you give to people who are going through heartbreak who do think like maybe i should be this and like what would you say to people who are going through what you went through yeah literally i would say number one thing

is surround yourself by the people who truly love you because those are the people are going to be real with you those are the people who bring you up they're going to tell you that Hey, I know in your heart you thought this was the one, but life has a funny way of showing that it's not. So, yeah, I would just say surround by the people you love that truly helped me a lie. And then just start learning to love yourself. Don't fall into habits of like drinking or doing drugs and do like that. Just take a break from everything and just learn to love yourself again because, yeah, I talked about, you know, how I wanted to get the dangling earring like Nate and shave my hair and, you know, get a bus cut and everything like that.

And then I just took a step back and I realized like, man, you are losing yourself. Like yourself is what made you you this entire time. You don't need to change that just because the person who you thought was your person and to you. So I don't know. It's a beauty and a blessing because like my kids are going to go through heartbreak and I'm going to show them this. Like, hey, why don't you watch my season, see what I went through and know that I'm with

your mom right now and everything works out so oh i love that that's a good perspective that's so true like i mean heartbreak is one of the worst feelings in the world but nobody can look back on a heartbreak who's gone through it and gotten through it and say that didn't help you grow in some sort of way or realize who you are or you're worth or lead you to the person that you're supposed to be with next like nobody i mean people might be in the thick of it right now but once you get through that and you see the reason why like it's just all about perspective And I really like your perspective on that. You can watch my season.

You can watch, yeah, guys, you can watch my season. Like, because I feel like connection is really like what will help you get through it, like connecting with someone and making you feel seen or making you feel heard and making you feel that you understood what they went through. So it's like, hey, once you pop in this season, there's 10 episodes. We'll let me know when you're done. Tune in. I know.

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I have a feeling that you've probably had your fair share of women who have shown you that they're interested so have you been on any dating apps or even thought about that or are you still in the zone of learning to love yourself so I just don't do dating apps I don't know just never has been my thing I never really got it I like to meet people you know, socially and, like, coincidences or something like that. I'm still loving myself, you know, I'm always trying to build myself, so I'm doing good there, but I am, you know, open to if someone comes along. Do you need, you know, maybe a little bit more time before giving my all like I did? But, yeah, dating apps, no, social setting, yeah,

I'll meet people talk to people. Social media, I don't really respond to anyone. I just do my thing. It gets a little stuff. It gets a little stuff. sticky and uh yeah i'd rather just separate myself from that or i can't even imagine the dms like yeah that's the thing is like when you reach out and you're like hey how are you doing i just don't look because it just yeah it's smart it's it gets a little scary i remember Blake horseman when he came off his season and he came on my podcast and it was in person and i was like hand me your phone i want to look through your dms and i was like oh dear god like yeah i wanted to like reach back out to all these women and be like no don't do what are you doing like a lot of it's so

scary it's so cringy it's so cringy like a lot of these women like i love their boldness a hundred percent but i hear it's a little weird do you think when you do start dating again do you think you'll be afraid to completely let your guard down and wear your heart on your sleeve like you did with michel or do you think you'll be like no i have to do that again to to find the right one I think it's both, I think right now I'm at the point where I'm like, hey, you should probably, you know, chill where, yeah, guard your heart a little bit, but then I realize that I'll never find that type of love again unless I do that all over again. So it's kind of in the middle. That's what I'm saying. I'm not done like loving myself yet. Because once I love myself, then I'll be able to do that. But we'll see, yeah. So I mean, I think it just, it's that woman. So who will bring that out of me. And then once I love myself, then once I love myself, then I'll be able to do that. But, uh, well, we'll see, yeah. So I mean, I think it just, it's that woman. So I mean, I I feel safe with them, then you'll start to see, yeah. I think you'll realize, too, it's hard to feel safe with somebody when you know there's other relationships going on, but you did that.

Now, moving on to your next, you know, unless it's on the beaches of paradise, your God, you're going to have to let your guard down again and then, oh, I don't even want to think about it, but I mean, I, obviously people are like, oh, we'll see them on the beaches. I can't wait. Does that scare you, or would you be excited to go on? paradise if the right amount of time had passed yeah yeah um i'd be excited you know i've been hearing everything like bachelor i've been here in paradise i've been hearing don't do it so it's just like all these different voices yeah yeah i mean obviously i would definitely be excited for paradise

i get to see you know everyone um you know from my season and i guess people from other seasons who've been connecting with me um and then i get the possibility of leaving there with my person so yeah i'd definitely be excited if then you know time passed but uh yeah everything if everything was you know working in in your favor and in the right direction and you felt like you were fully you know healed and loved who you were to move on um this this is all hypothetical we'll give it a couple months we'll see we'll see we'll give a couple ones yeah i mean we just got to you know see so much of you on our tv screens and we've heard you on a couple podcasts but we want to know more than just like runner-up, Brandon, who you are from our TV screens and podcasts.

So I thought it would be fun to end this year by doing a game of 22 questions because it's going into 2022 to get to know you a little better. Now, I've already asked you so many questions, so I might skip through some of them, but these are just fun. Okay. What was your favorite moment of 2021? Well, I mean, definitely the show for sure. Is there like a specific moment or just like the show in general?

I think it was once we got to Palm Springs and all. all the guys start connecting, and we're all singing in the lunchroom. We're singing in the hub. Yeah. So when we had our like boy band moments, I think those were my favorite, which is a little weird to say, but everyone just sung 2000s R&B throughout the halls and I was about it. So fun. I know.

I love those moments, too, the ones that, you know, the behind the scenes that we don't get to see when everybody's just enjoying themselves. And I'm so mad that we didn't get a picture that day. Remember when I walked in the room and we were literally wearing the exact same out? Exact same. Yeah. No, to a T, like head. toe the exact same outfit.

Exact same color white shirt, these like green pants that were fitted the same, the same red color shoe that like is not a typical red. And we were like, what the? And I was like, what? Like, do we have the same stylist today? What's happening?

I was so mad, but you know, everybody's got to stay in the moment. I just talked about your family. That's obviously so important to you and all these things. And then I was like, they're like, yeah, you got to go. I'm like, but can I get a picture with him? And they're like, no, let him be in the moment, Caitlin. I'm like, damn it, but we're matching.

You know what's funny, though? Like, I kept that whole outfit and I wear it constantly because I saw you in it. And I was like, okay, if she's wearing those colors together, like, obviously, I'm doing something right. So it was good. I was actually really impressed with your choices that day. I was like, good. Because I had a wardrobe helping me. You just did that on your own.

So good job. I just woke up and did that. And I saw you. I was like, wow, I'm doing something right. All right. It is my day. Still mad. We don't have a picture.

Okay. What is Brandon's love language? Touch. It is. Physical touch. It is. And that's how you like, that's how you receive love and give love. Like, that's your favorite both ways?

No, giving love, I think, is action. Like, or was it? That's a service. That's how I should. But, no, touch for me, just because I feel like you can get both affirmation from touch and then, yeah. So I think it's like a two for one, a little bit. bit at least for me so i like that touch i know you say that surrounding yourself with the people

who love you and can humble you mean the most to you with getting through things so what would your closest family and friends what are three words they would use to describe you oh man um And so many things. Strength, goofy, definitely. And then they, I say smooth. They say corny. So. I like that you think it's smooth that other people think it's corny because I do think

that is genuinely you just like trying to be smooth. I don't think you're trying to be corny at all. It's me trying to be so smooth that I'm just so corny. But in my head, I'm like, wow, man, you're doing well. You are doing swell out here. So, yeah, just fun. I'm going to throw one at you of what I think. I think a good word to describe you would be resilient.

Oh, I like that. Okay. Yeah, we'll take that. Substitute corny. We'll take resilient. I love it. I like it. What did you want to do as a career growing up?

Living in Oregon, what I wanted to do is, worked for Nike headquarters. Oh, yeah? And then I eventually did it. So that was cool. I just wanted to be, yeah, part of the any team, you know, marketing. Obviously, I wanted to be in the NBA when I was younger and then I wanted to be a coach. And then I wanted to be a ball boy.

And then I realized, like, yeah, maybe your dreams are going from up here all the way down here. And now what do you see? What direction do you see your life going now? because I'm sure like after coming out of the show you're like wait what am I going to do with my life because there's options or there's like I don't know I just feel like people can have different goals after they come off the show yeah so now I want to be a host I want to feel like yeah I just I love that realm I'm not going to lie like that just show me like that's where I want to be so I don't know something with that hosting or yeah anything like that just yeah just talking about talking to people like talking to people getting people to be themselves um i've been talking to ronny a little bit we're trying to get a podcast called the ron apples or something like that oh i love it that would be a such a fun podcast for you too i think you should definitely start there that's a good

idea yeah and just think about like you know taking people from seasons and doing like bromances or something like that and like you know like oh how well do you know your bro or you know how well Ronnie, do you know Nate or how well do I know Will and Daniel and stuff like that. Well, speaking of bromances, that was going to be one of my next questions. Clayton, how is your boy Clayton doing with everything? Because I know it hasn't even started to air yet, but his, you know, the teasers for his season have been already so dramatic and wild and entertaining. So how is he doing?

Clayton's doing well. I did see him at AFR. We talked for a longest time. We hung out for a day. so that was cool. Tell me a little bit. Yeah, I think, you know, we all see Clayne. We all know Clayne and how amazing of a guy is. I think that people only saw what they saw on TV. And so they're making judgments off that. So, you know, I'm just telling me keep a good head on your shoulders. Because like, it's only for this time, dude. Like once your season airs, trust me, everyone's

going to see the real you. So 1,000 percent. That's the thing. 100%. Wait, people got so mad at me for. reading mean tweets or making Clayton read mean tweets out loud. But I get so annoyed because I'm like, do you think I would have done that without him approving that? Like, of course he knew he's so self-deprecating at the same time, which is why people love him. So it's not like they were like extremely rude tweets.

He found them funny. And I was like, wait, don't get mad at me for that. He, like, that was supposed to be just like a Jimmy Kimmel moment of laughing at me. I love that. I'll say about you. Yeah. Yeah. see and that's his energy like that's that's our relationship is that we can 100% be ourselves and like read these mean tweets to each other and just start dying together because you know i got roasted for pulling the shell away and people didn't understand and so i was talking to clean and we were just laughing at what everyone was saying and i was dying so that's the best part you've got to be in on the joke and so i took i took a video from my season of the bachelor of the bachelorette and chris harrison read out like mean tweets about me and they are like they are so bad that i was dying laughing listen to this

i'm going to read these as they were received like you need to unspread your four legs and shut your filtered diseased mouth wait there's another one my gosh. I can't wait to see Caitlin cry like a little people like shut your whole legs and I'm just sitting there being like yeah, these are the tweets I get

Caitlin needs to shut her four legs. And I'm sitting up and like, holy shit, we're really doing this on live television, okay. You know, when zero to a hundred real quick, you're like, oh, wait, these are the tweet.

So like Colton or Colton, why does everyone want to call Clayton Colton? I do this all the time and somebody else called him that. He told me who was it? Thomas. Thomas was like, hey, Colton, how's it going? He was like, I'm Clayton. I don't know what it is, but everyone wants to call him Colton.

But when I'm like reading these tweets about Clayton, it's like, he's so boring. And everyone's like, that's so mean, Caitlin. I'm like, hold my beer and listen to the tweets I had. to read. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Doesn't even compare it now. Oh, God. So funny. Okay, back to you. What is the worst date that you've ever been on? I think one was a date where we just met and, you know, we met up at a restaurant. So I was like, okay, cool. Go there. And it turned out to be our family's restaurant. And it was a little bit after closing, and I just got there, and it was, like, pretty much her whole family.

Oh. It was the first day. We talked for, like, maybe a couple days, and then just decided to go on a day. Whole family there. God is grilling me. Mom is, yeah, talking to me and seeing if I'm a good guy and stuff like that. I'm like, yo, I'm just here to get food, you know? Like, I don't even know if this is going anywhere.

I was just hungry. I just met up with her real quick, and it was, like, constantly. And there was no one else in the restaurant. So it's like they all pulled up chairs around us. And so I was on a date with her. I was on a date with the entire family the first time. Was that the last date you went on with her? Yeah.

Yeah. But I killed it with the family. So for some reason I'm- Of course you did. That's what you do. Yeah. So I'm good with that. But I realized like, yo, I was so awkward and embarrassed and didn't know what to do.

And I realized like, yo, I might not see her again. So I might as well just have fun. Yeah, I might as well show her what she's missing out on later because this is definitely the last date. Yeah. So it's like, uh, yeah, so. That's pretty bad. Okay, that's good. Who is your celebrity crush?

Ooh. How do you not know who your celebrity crush is? I know. I know I'm so bad. I didn't know it's going to be asked this question. I forget her name every time. Okay. What movie she's in?

So it was a movie on Netflix. Oh, here, okay. Anna Day Amaris. Oh, okay. I understand why. Oh, she's, oh, yeah, who is this? She's gorgeous. Yeah, so she was in like a Netflix, I don't know.

I just, that has been my slow. Okay, now I'm, now I'm, I'm understanding more why you couldn't think. That's a tricky name. A little bit tricky, yeah. Yeah, okay. And she's not like that well known. Well, not that I've known. Wait, she dated Ben Affleck?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. So she's, like, well known, but, like, I didn't see her until, yeah. Oh, yeah, she's beautiful. Okay, fair enough. Okay, well, it took us a while, but we got there. We got there.

Yeah, and then, of course, Rihanna. Rihanna's always going to be up there, but that's easy. That's easy. She's on my celebrity crush list. Oh. She's everything. What is your word going into 2022? For example, my word going into 2021 was perspective.

but like a thinking of a word going into 2022 like I don't know growth peace perspective what do you thinking I want to say understandment I like that yeah just because I'll I think a lot of more things will start to come more more clear 2022 so just understand that like oh I understand why this I understand why this having 2021 so and then your word of 23 can be clarity you'll be like It's all clear now. It's all clear now. I like it. I love it.

Okay. So some of these questions are from my listeners. Some names are here, some aren't. But Amber wants to know if you have a New Year's resolution or if you do resolutions. I do resolutions. So my last year's resolution was literally do something that I've never done before. Well, there you go. Yeah.

So this year, New Year's resolution, I think, is finding my person. I think that's it. Going into next year is finding my person. I have a feeling that will happen for you. Summer wants to know where is your dream or favorite vacation spot? So a dream spot where I love to go is Greece. Favorite vacation spot is definitely Hawaii. Hawaii is my happy place.

It's just my happy. Yeah, all your stress goes away. You can just chill up on a beach. Everyone's so kind. Everyone is so kind. And like the scenery just feels like it's out of a movie and it doesn't feel real. And it's, oh my God, I love Hawaii. Everyone is just so happy and peaceful there.

And it's just, you're just like, you know, like every time I want to feel like grounded, one of the, I'm like kind of a woo woo weirdo. But my like psychic and people I talk to, they're always like, you need to go and like actually put your feet in like dirt or sand to feel grounded. And anytime I go to Hawaii, I just like leave feeling. so grounded and at peace. I love your life. 100%. I mean, I would say Mexico, but I had a kind of a bad experience in Mexico. So, yeah. But you know what? Maybe Mexico will be your new favorite spot after. That's true. You know. That's true. What's he? And last but not least, everybody wants to know Brandon's confession.

in sixth grade, I think this is where I became smooth. In class, we were taking a test. And I had to go to the bathroom. So I'll believe it would be that. So I'll go up to a teacher. I'm like, hey, can I go to the bathroom? She's like, no, you need to finish your test. And I'm like, teacher, I really need to go. She's like, no, you got to finish your test. So I'm trying to scribble. I'm just, I didn't even care about the test. I'm filling in everything and anything. And I try to go up. And she's like, nope, now you got to sit there and wait until everyone's done with their test. I was like, oh my gosh. So I sit there, I'm trying to hold it, and I just peed myself right there in the middle

of class while everyone's taking their test. And I was like, I am sitting in a puddle. And I'm thinking, like, what can I do? I had a water bottle sitting there, so I unscrewed it a little bit. And I pretended like I went to take a drink of water, and I spilled it all down me. That is so smart. I was like, this is where I became the smoothest criminal. And I spilled it all down me and I poured it on the seat and I poured it on my pants.

So, you know, yeah, so it looks like, I was like, oh my gosh. And everyone's laughing because I spilled water all over me. I was like, can I go, you know, change and everything like that? She's like, yeah, yeah, go, go, go. And I was like, wow, I can't believe I did that. Of course, the kid next to me was like, smells a little bit. And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm drinking water.

It must have been a lemon or something, weirdo. But now all the kids in sixth grade who was in class what they know they know what really happened that day. Wait, that's so funny because imagine like going to school with somebody who like became runner up on the bachelorette

and then like randomly listening to this podcast and be like, holy shit, I remember that. He actually peed himself. He's sitting in class peed himself. Yeah. Wow, that is a really smart move for making up for peeing your pants. That's actually, do you know what?

This is how smooth I. was in the sixth grade i you know when like you i don't know if this was a canadian thing or if people did this but do you remember when you like pulled somebody's chair out before they sat down so that they fell on the ground so i was trying to flirt with this guy named eric and i pulled out his still remember his name from sixth grade yes eric i've i also i do remember his last name but i'm blanking on it right now herbst eric herbsts and i pulled out his name and i pulled out his his seat from behind him to try and flirt and it was metal chairs and he smashed his head on it so bad he got a concussion. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh, okay. I got, okay, good. I have another one.

So this was eighth grade. They made us take a band, whatever, like a musical instrument. And I'm walking there and I'm walking with my crush because I sat next to her and band. I was like, yeah, this is my favorite part of the day. The band door. So I'm like, you know, I'm like, four foot five. I don't know how tall I was in eighth grade. Yeah. And the band door is like this giant 10 foot all metal door. And I'm walking with her and I'm talking and some kid comes out and flings the door open. I smacked my head so hard. I fell on the ground and I had this giant bump. And she looked at me and she was like, felt so awkward. She just walked away. And I was like, okay. She didn't even say, are you okay? No, she just like giggled and then walked away.

And I was like, oh, you're just going to giggle with me on the floor. Like, I just got nailed by this 10-foot door. To me, it felt like 20 feet of just metal hitting my face. And when you're that age, it's so embarrassing. Like, it's obviously still haunts you to this day. It's so embarrassing when you're like this, like, insecure, little fragile human being like, what is my life? And I have a crush on this girl.

And it feels like the end of the world. And she laughed at me. Yeah. So I definitely, like, take my time when going up and approaching door. and like, yeah, I just, at that point, if I can't see the other side of the door, I will take my time on opening the door. So that is hilarious. I actually had something embarrassing happened to me like two days ago. I was with Jason's family and we went to see West Side Story in the theater. And West Side Story is like one of my favorite musicals. And I know every single word and I was

in the musical when I was like 18 years old. And so I was so excited to go see it. And I was just so fired up at all the songs and Jason was getting annoyed at me because he's like, shut up, like you're singing every single word so loud. And I was like, first of all, there's only like two other people in the theater. So I was really enjoying my moment. And then when we were all walking out of the theater, I had like a like a flannel wrapped around my waist. And there's this one part in the, in the musical where they're like flinging their skirts. And so I was dancing on my way out. And I didn't realize that the whole family wasn't behind me, but the two people in the theater were behind me and I turned right around to this girl and I just went and I swung it like in

her face and I was looking down at my skirt doing this or my planel and then I looked up and she was like I was like oh you're not my family and she was like no but that was pretty good it was spot on but I really committed to it and it was very embarrassing but and I don't get embarrassed very easily but like that moment it was just like so awkward after because it was like silent and dark and then she just like walked past me and was like anyways i was like goodbye have a good merry christmas oh yeah she's like also you're singing throughout the whole movie was beautiful it was spot up or very annoying one of the two uh okay okay so i have a quick game because kenna in the off the vine facebook group really wanted us to play this so we're going to do a little uh rapid fire round of deal breakers in dating okay okay Is it a deal breaker if she's a huge fan of yours from the show? No.

It's weird, but not a deal breaker. It's weird, yeah, because, you know, they saw me be me. And so they, I know, I mean, I assume they care about me for me. If they start asking me a bunch of questions about the show and everything like that, yeah, it might be a deal breaker. Yeah, like, what happened in the fantasy suite? You're like, okay, this is weird. Yeah, okay. Yep, next question.

Yeah. Okay. After you start dating, you find out before she met you, she slid into the DMs of other guys from your season. It might be a deal breaker for me. It might be a deal breaker. That's a little creepy. Yeah.

I hear that. Okay. She has the same name as your ex-girlfriend. Oh, that's not deal breaker. Okay. I'm not going to judge you because of your name. Okay, fair enough. Oh, yeah, that was a stupid question, Caitlin.

She accidentally calls you Noah during sexy time. Yeah. Yeah. Huge deal worker, 120%. For people who don't know, that's, that's Brandon's brother. Yeah. Oh my gosh, imagine, like, oh, my gosh. Like, you're thinking about my brother right now?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that is a deal breaker. Okay, she's not a fan of Portland. Oh, that's not a deal breaker. Oh, okay. She thinks showering is overrated and only tries to shower once or twice a week. Yeah, that's a deal breaker.

I'm sorry. I hate showering. Oh, you shower only once a week. I do it more than that. But it is an inconvenience. Okay, last one. She does want kids, but she is set on only having one.

Like 100% set on only having one? 100%. No other way for her. Yeah, that's a deal breaker. Because I don't know where I'd be in life without my brother. So having, yeah. That's fair enough.

Okay, wait. Madison, who is my producer, said she put some mean tweets in the prep doc, and now I'm laughing. I mean, this one's just funny. Steve Danger said, the Bachelorette finale has a serious love triangle. Brandon was in love with Michelle. Michelle was in love with Nate, and Nate was also in love with Nate. That's funny. That's good. I think the funniest ones were the people, they put a bunch of people in metal detach.

and like, oh, searching for that Neolane diamond in Mexico or whatever. Yeah, everyone, everyone, everyone, I didn't throw the ring. No, I know. I thought you did. By the way, I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but obviously we'll find out soon. This is the truth. When you were on the beach and Michelle was saying all, everything and you guys were breaking up, I had to go get my makeup fully redone.

I was crying so hard in the back that I was like, like couldn't breathe sobbing. and then you came and walked by and I hid because I didn't want you to see me crying so hard and then I was watching and I saw you throw the rapper and I thought you threw the ring and I just started to be like they threw the ring and I was so dramatic I was like I am not cut out for this job because I was so sad wait so you want to hear the whole backstory yeah so well yeah I'm sorry that you cried I thought that when I saw you and Tasha again I hoped it would be in a better you're like, you know, setting. But, yeah, so from day one,

I brought, so, you know, in sports at the end of the game, they give you like, you know, orange slices or like fruit snacks or stuff like that. So since day one, I always kept a bag of welches in my pocket. And then just whenever I got a rose, I would eat the bag of welches, be like, yeah, that's, that's, you know,

my after game snack. So I kept getting group day roses. I had the bag of welches with me. I was like, wow, these are the luckiest bag of welches. Like, I'm just going to always have a bag of welches. And so literally throughout every single rose ceremony, you catch me. Everyone would know. Michelle would know.

Everyone would know that I had a bag of welches in my pocket if someone was hungry or if, like, you just want to share fruit snacks after, whatever. So I got to the end. And of course, Mexico, we located a whole box of welches. So I had, you know, I had them on deck. And right before I got out of the car, I put the bag of Wilches in there. I was like, all right, one more time is for the last time. And, yeah, so.

You threw the bag of Welch's? It was a bag of Welch's. Yeah. If Welch's doesn't reach out to you and, like, do something with a brand deal for you, I'm going to be, like, this, it has to happen. Oh, yeah, 100%. Because I kept them through everything. I mean, they'd probably be pissed off that through a whole bag of Welch's off.

No, but. They'll forget it to that. I mean, even the audio and the camera people, they were like, oh, my gosh, you just throw a ring. And I'm crying. Like, I'm looking at them. I'm a little bit upset. And I look at him, like, why are you guys so upset about a bag of welches? Yeah.

And they're like, oh, oh, my gosh. Like, yeah. We thought for you through the ring. We were all like, oh, there goes. Like, I was going to have to go down into the, like, the beaches and look for it because I was like, I'm shamed you through the ring. Yeah, so those memes killed me. They absolutely killed me.

Just like all the metal detector people out there, like, oh, we're searching for that Neil Lane Diamondos. Totally. That's, that was, I also saw the most hilarious meme. It was like Brandon in his weakest moment and then Caitlin and like showing me with a camera taking a picture of you on the beach, like so sad. That was a beautiful picture. I know.

I can't believe you got that. It was a great shot and I'm very proud of it and I'm really rethinking my career and maybe going into photography i think so you call me at the perfect moment it was the sunset and everything to that day was was beautiful so i didn't even realize it was you at first and i was like this is the most stunning shot i've ever seen yeah i'm trying you really got no mean tweets which is really funny because people really loved you and that's that's nice isn't it that must have felt nice that you were just being you that your whole family all your friends were just saying that is definitely you and then the world fell in love with you for being yourself that's a great that's a win

right there that's a win right there that's what i'm telling people just be yourself like that's it if you try to be someone else that's when people will start disliking so i love it okay well thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me today and hopefully this was like a little more fun than all the like serious i'm like not not to dogg on another podcast but i just wanted you to have fun in this them yeah no this was this was a lot of fun uh yeah does you know that chapter is over i'm glad that we got to talk about like new chapter so yeah we'll see we'll see what's next i'm excited and i said it on after the final rose but truly mean i feel like everyone including myself everyone's just like rooting for you and whatever you know if you are finding love with yourself

or you find love with somebody else in the new year we're all just wanting you to be happy so we we love brandon jones we are team brandon well we're team everybody over here at Off the Vine, but we really like you. I appreciate it. Thanks, Caitlin. You're welcome. And tell everybody where they can find you so that we can all send you some Welch's.

Yeah. Find me. I'm on social media, Instagram on BMG Jones, and then Twitter, BMac underscore Jones. So find me. Welch is find me. Welch is slide it. You can check your DMs for that one. What's your favorite platform to use on social media?

Do you like tweeting or do you like Instagram? Do you TikTok? What is your thing? Yeah, so it's Instagram is my thing. I'm starting, I just got into Twitter. So I'm learning all that. I'm starting to, you know, get that going. I'm learning from you and your hubby, you know, how you guys tweet and everything like that.

So I'm trying to like get pointers and everything. But, yeah, so Instagram usually, that's what I'm good at. You can have fun tweeting and doing Instagram stories when your boy Clayton is The Bachelor, because there will be a lot to talk about on social media then. And that starts right away, like when this airs, it'll start in like four days. So that'll be fun.

Everybody go follow Brandon so we can, because Clayton's your friend, so we can get the inside scoop on what you're thinking. Oh yeah, you get the inside scoop for sure. I love it. Thank you so much for being on the pod today.

Yeah, no. Thank you, Caitlin. I appreciate it. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, grape therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes

every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday, exclusively on Podcast One.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's not with OTV?