Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: A Dangly Bachelorette Recap with Jason Tartick

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

It’s time for Kaitlyn and Jason to sit down in their Nashville home to talk Bach, and from dangly earrings to dangly man parts, they have it covered for you! They’ve got wine glasses in hand and movie quotes in mind as they deep dive into Charity’s season, which they actually are enjoying more than many recent seasons past. Jason rates Charity’s dates on a goosebump meter and explains to Kaitlyn how ballsacs work, because the human body really is amazing. Kaitlyn reveals who she’s designating as this season’s Buzz Killington and why she found herself in cringe city during this week’s episode. Plus, Jason talks about his off-screen connection with Joey and their discussion before Joey decided to head off to the mansion. Last but definitely not least, they get into some recent Bachelor Nation drama and explain why they turned down the opportunity to host a date this season.  THRIVE CAUSEMETICS - Right now, you can get an exclusive 20% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/VINE.   Starbucks: Tune in to moments that matter with the uplifting boost of Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino Chilled Coffee Drink, available now, online or wherever you buy groceries.  BLUE NILE - Experience the ease and convenience of shopping Blue Nile today at BlueNile.com.   ROCKET MONEY - Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/OTV.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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chilled coffee drink. Available now online or wherever you buy groceries. And Blue Nile. Experience the ease and convenience of shopping Blue Nile today at Blue Nile.com. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now starting. And why it's healthy.

Hey everybody, welcome to Grape Therapy. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and Jason was just asking if we're starting, so the answer is yes. Thanks. Thanks. To an episode of Grape Therapy. Yep. To charity. Charity.

And not to Braden. And not to Braden. And to Joey and Aaron B. Cheer. Yeah. Aaron B. I think those two. MVP's.

Joey. Well, not. No, no, no, no, number one MVP, without a doubt. And we could get into this is charity. The other MVP's, Joey and Aaron B. The not-so- MVP's, Braden, Braden. Most valuable loser with dangly earrings. Oh, that's so mean.

That is mean. I don't like him, though. Yeah, but you don't dislike him because of his earrings. No, it's just an easy target. That's like a bully. I go for the easy target. I'm going to defend you. I'm going to say, you just wanted to say the old dangly earrings,

because it's like one of your favorite lines from any from home alone home alone and she's trying to sell in the earrings to get money to get home to a sudden and he goes she's got a whole drawer full of them dangly ones and that's what I think

that was actually a really good impersonation bangly ones dangly oh and then he gives in any I can see the old yeah and then he gives in and he goes oh all right that's a good that was a 10 out of 10 impersonation it's better than your Australian accent

that's for sure it's not I was trying to do brooks from vanderpump today and it was not good it was not good it was yeah um it's like english wait and also who is it that actually got the MVP Adrian Adrian got the MVP yeah okay Adrian was and he was like Mr. um shitster he just stirred all the shit up no he's Mr. Buzz Killington he's just too serious yeah that's true you know Buzz Killington on family guy oh no and he just everyone's trying to have fun and he comes in with a hard fact and like makes it not fun and everyone goes, that's Buzz Killington.

That's what they call them? Yeah. Because the kids were just like, are the guys, whatever? They're just like having a good time while they're on the date. I don't see what the problem is with that. And then pull up on here.

Pull up what? Buzz Killington. Oh, like the episode? No. Oh, I could. Oh, the real Buzz Killington. Yeah. Why W.S. Gilbert was frequently drunk

on his transatlantic crossings. No? Because. He was quartered on the port side. Now that I've got you, let's both revisit the birth of the Doily Cot Opera Company. It's Buzz Killington, he always just like. Oh, that's what he does. Yeah, because the Buzz Killington on The Bachelorette is just always coming in with,

it's like spring break and everyone's having too much fun with each other. It's like it's weak too, and the guys are brink. growing out in the mansion, having drinks, and being in the hot tub. Who cares? Spring break from 2023. Let's go. Who would you say is another Buzz Killington from previous seasons? Luke P.

Luke P. is a huge buzz, Buzz Killington. That was Hannah Browns? I don't, I never remember people from seasons. Okay. I don't. There's the queen of the franchise right there. No. Who's the last?

last bachelor um oh my god i must have match name zach uh shell cross okay actually i really liked his girls i don't know there's a lot of buzz killingtons in the franchise like i definitely remember the buzz killington from my season who's that ian just the buzz kill he was like she doesn't like me enough she's just out here making fart jokes and i was like who doesn't love a fart joke that's you take it or leave it yeah and he left it. He left it. And I'm happy about that. He fired himself before he got fired. No, he quit before he got fired. That's the line. That's the line. Pino, you're not a buzzkill. No, Pino's not a buzzkill. He's an angel. What's the opposite of a buzzkill? A good time. A positive

Patty. Okay. There we go. Okay, so the Bachelorette. I don't know how many of my listeners are watching The Bachelorette this season. Stop, really? Oh, I don't know. I feel like I did a poll on my Instagram and it wasn't good but here we are I'm gonna say I'm gonna say this I haven't seen your season I've seen at least one episode let's watch it let's not actually that be kind of funny we could do a YouTube series on us watching your season I already plan on doing that oh wow all right I'll go full force too I'll get like bombed and just chirp away like you'll see a different side of me I don't really want I think that would cause some problems.

Oh. You think it would cause problems if I watched? I don't think it would cause problems as in like you would be like, oh. Are you think if I was chirping someone, it would now recreate problems? No. I think I would just be like, hey, that was actually really hard for me. Now you're making fun of me. And then it would be like.

I was thinking about more chirping the guys. But yeah, let's just not watch it. I haven't watched for a reason. And I think that's good. We don't need to watch it. I've seen little bits and pieces. But dangly ones. The dangly ones.

Here's what I was going to say. Since your season, I've seen at least one episode of every single Bachelorette. And I'm going to go on the record, say, this was the first full episode I watched at charity. The most I've enjoyed any Bachelorette. Me too. Oh, that's no offense to all the other Bachelorette. No, everyone's great in their own way, but for me, she is so pure. She is so real.

There's not a fake bone in her body. sharp is like a huge huge shout out to Carrie the stylist stylists and Gina makeup but you know when just there's

there's you can like sense a little like just like putting it on performative there's nothing performative it's so real and it's so easy to watch her I sent her a text while we were watching and I was like you are so easy and fun to watch

yeah and her just her whole like vibration and energy. Her energy's electric. You know what? Okay, the other thing I found interesting, when we met her at CMA Fest,

I found her, all those things were the same, except, and maybe she was just burned out or whatever, but she seems a little more like reserved, a little more shot. Bitch is tired.

Oh yeah, that's it had, because on camera, she runs the show. She runs the screen. Like, you know the curating thing where you're just drawn to her? She has that star power when you're watching her on camera.

But don't we all turn it on a little bit for TV? Like she was probably, finally, I can turn it off and just watch some music. Yeah, and be chill. Yeah, that's true. But I think the most excited I've been about a Bachelorette in the last, whatever, eight years of seeing seasons. Yeah. She's got it. And I think she's going to go.

I think if she wants to go big into this TV space, like being an anchor, reporting, whatever it might be, she can be a star in the space. I don't want to speak for charity. What I gather is that I don't think she would want that. Really? I don't know. She's got it. That it to go be like whatever that is. I think she could do it.

If she wants it, of course. And I also like the depth of what you say? She is a master's of science and is it clinical mental health studies? She has her master's degree in clinical mental health counseling. Yeah, you can tell. Like her depth in these conversations is unlike anything I've seen. You can also tell when, who was Aaron on the very first date, which really shocked both of us at how well that went. She got all the way turned on when he was like, yes, so I got into therapy.

She was like, tell me more. And I love that. That was, it was so cute because you could tell. Wait, you threw a little chirp towards him when he said, I, he didn't say I went to therapy. he said I like, what was the word? And I like walked into therapy? No, I entered, checked into therapy. And you were like, checked in?

What do you mean? Checked in. That sounds like Peter, wait, Pete Davidson. Yeah. Checked into rehab. That's what it sounds like. Exactly. Yeah.

Anyways, their date was so also pure. It felt very easy, very genuine. I thought he got ripped off with a Hollywood sign. Okay, the symbolism of 100 years and the longevity of love and relationships and his parents are still together and her parents and I'm always like me yeah it must be nice but I was like a Hollywood sign and champagne yeah but the closest the public can get to the Hollywood sign is like four football fields away to sort of be up on it I don't know I think that was kind of cool it was okay yeah it's okay we could have done they could a helicopter

there that would have been cool I mean I got the shittiest dates ever on the bachelor so to me I'm like that would have been awesome did you go to Costco because I did for your bet oh you did yeah What was it? Why? I don't know. Jimmy Kimmel sent me and Chris to Costco to have a date there. And I was like, I actually enjoyed it. I was like, sick. I love Costco. Okay, so I've been seen Thrive Cosmetics all over my social media for a while now, but I hadn't really tried so many other products for myself until recently.

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Four times I got goosebumps watching Aaron and Charity's date. Yeah. And it just kept getting more romantic and more genuine and easier. And they just really seemed to hit it off and be comfortable. And of course, we had a country music singer. What is with, is it because ABC and CMT or what is country music involved with ABC or something? Because they always have tickets to CMA Fest. Would you like an opera singer?

There's, I would like. I would like a singer-songwriter, like a Dermott Kennedy. I would like maybe a rapper here and there. No, maybe a ballad. I would like something like Adele. Not that they need to go on The Bachelor, but I don't know. It's always country music. Okay.

It's interesting. Fun fact. I wonder if that has to do with the watching audience. We're big country fans if you're a Bachelor fan? Maybe. I don't know. I'd love to see like the numbers and reason behind the view things. But also, did you know,

let me ask you this, go ahead, you can go first. Did you know that the country singers have to pay to go on? I did, yeah. Yeah. Okay, what were you going to say? What I am still surprised about is that after all these years, it's the same fucking script. Okay, like, what did we do?

We called the fact they're canceling the party, but there's going to be a pool party or barbecue. There's always, like, it's the same aggressive, like, stupid competition group day. Like, it's the same script. I know. For 21 years. You sound like Lowe there.

That's because I'm talking to me and Lowe talk a lot, I guess I'm starting to talk. Yeah. It's just, it's so predictable. But, you know, when you've been on air for that many years, I guess it starts to be predictable. I'm sure after 10 years of love is blind, we're going to start predicting stuff too. But when she's with all the competition. But America loves their comfort food. We love consistency and people complain about it.

But if they changed it, they would complain about it. But the show's getting killed. it's like you got to change it up competition wise like they got pushed from primetime spot the ratings got absolutely hummeled this year but i just again you always pay attention on the ratings such a number numbers guys but i'm like okay group date so we we hit the one-on-one it's predictable also in a way where you can tell now who's watched the show when they use the lingo about here for the right reasons some guys aren't yeah and it's just like i don't know they do they need to find some new drama to complain about. Yeah, new drama or new formatting. Like maybe it's maybe it's just not a rose ceremony or

they got to throw some curveballs in there, man. Wait, I'm kind of remembering back to the state now with Aaron the first one-on-one. He said something about in the past his girlfriends have been like really flirty with other men. Do you remember that? Yeah. But she's the bachelorette. So I feel like that was a foreshadowing for him getting jealous because she's the bachelor. Of course, she has to flirt with guys in front group dates he's never had a group day yet he's only had a one-on-one there's good that's my prediction that's how you know you're someone who's seen the show a lot because they're really good at doing the foreshadowing really good at the guy was doing the back flip off the thing and he made the comment right in the beginning of that so like some people are here for a spring break well

that was the theme throughout so that's a really good point yeah I think erin goes far though I mean I do too as she was you could just see the way she looked at him she she was into him yeah oh yeah it was just so genuine um why do I hate watching people make out so much is that Like, does everybody hate it? I cringe watching people make out. I think it's so gross. I don't care who you are, what you're doing, the situation you're in.

It makes you uncomfortable. So when they did, we'll get into the longest kiss ever, a friggin world record. I was like, I can't. I fast forward it. I just can't do it. I think it's part misophonia where it's the noises, but then also I'm just, like, icked out by it.

I'm like, oh, I don't care who you are. Are you making out with anybody's gross? I could never watch myself making out with. Remember we were saying on the couch? I'm like, it's so weird. such a weird situation being the bachelorette and bachelor because you're having a conversation then you're like oh i'll make out with this guy and then you go and have another conversation i'll make out with him too and you make out with like four different dudes in one night it feels so like

weirdly acceptable while you're in it but from the outside i was like oh it's so wrong i wonder they did the longest kiss in bachelor history i wonder which lead has ever had the most makeouts in one night probably me no i'm just kidding what was the most amount of guys you kissed in one night I don't know how big's one group date. Yeah, they vary. Okay, I remember having like 10 or 12 guys on one date. I probably kissed. No, you're going to be surprised by this answer.

I probably kissed four of them. Oh, that's not. Oh, I bet you. Maybe five. I bet you Bob Guinea on his first night kissed. Oh, yeah. I don't know. First night.

Yeah. How many did you kiss first night? As many Caleb's as there are on this season. There's a, B, C, D, F, G on this season. I kissed two guys on the first night Oh, that's not bad at all JJ being one of them Weird

Anyways, why is Jesse Palmer wearing a suit on the beach Is my real question I think Jesse Palmer He's really got to throw it like he's doing a great job He's got to throw out the cardigans The cardigans got to go No more cardigan sweaters Jesse Palmer loves a cardigan

They gotta go Well it's Carrie Fetman dressing him And the thing I loved the best For the first time like Bam that was good was when he dropped an F-bomb. Like, oh, my God, take a breath. Because he's very casual and funny and Canadian.

I've never met him. Oh, he's just incredible. And so I think they probably edit him to be very serious hosty. And they let that one slide where he threw an F-bomb where it was like. But it was so funny because he chirped. See, he was chirping the dangly ones too. See? He was tripping the dangly ones.

He was like, yeah, this guy just, you know, gets the first impression rose and goes, fuck it. Where's dangle earrings and a tablecloth around his neck. Yeah. I can't. With that, I, you know what, I'm all for people having their own style and showing, you know. You have your own, you have a pretty unique style. Yeah, but I wouldn't say it.

Well, do I? But why do, why would, his style? I feel like his style before he even talks pissed you off. Like you're like, I don't like this guy. I know, I was like, he could be a really great guy, but I was like, no. There was another guy like that too. You didn't like his style. You're like, give me like.

Yeah, I don't remember. James, maybe. James or Kyle or something. Whoever. He's got a blonde hair. He's got a white guy name. he was like helping charity with the swing of her hips for golf i was like you would exactly what you're not supposed to do when you put you're not supposed to move your hips at all yeah good

one good one craig whatever you're stupid name is chad chad anyways there are a lot of calabes though but caleb b with the goate yeah he's calab beat needs to get rid of the goate i in my head went that guy looks like a pro wrestler i was just thinking he could have been he was he's a pro wrestler Stop it. Yeah, I swear to God. That's why he looked so natural in those tiny whiteies, tidy greenies. Wait, I love wrestling. Is he really?

Yeah. I'm going to have to look into that. I don't know if he's w-8. Would you think of the whole dodgeball episode? There's five rules of dodgeball. Do you know what they are? Dip, dodge, duck, dive, and dodge. Wow, good job.

Yeah, that's pretty good. I don't know if that was in the right order, but that was good. It's Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge. Yeah. is it is it sanitary to drink my own urine no no what is it but it's no is it normal for me to drink my own urine no but it's sanitary and i like the taste gross anyways the dodgeball date was actually pretty fun to watch i was entertained i was entertained at dodgeball i was entertained at that one and one of them whoever that one guy was maybe it was Xavier Xavier is just bombing him in

Billy Madison remember Billy Madison when he goes oh yeah I ever know miss lippy goes I think it's time to play dodgeball and Adam Sandler is just like nailing kids in the head. Slippy. Did you ever think about these names? This is Lippy. Thank you very much, Miss Lippy.

Wait, I got a question for you. What? So when Adrian gets MVP and obviously like Brayden was chirping it. It's hard. I was thinking about this. Yeah. Do you think as the Bachelorette

they went to charity and were like charity, which do you want to shoot? Who do you want to see? Or do you think they're, like I know Adrian's going to stir it up tonight and producers are like we got to bring them give me one or the other like did that ever happen on your season yeah where they said like which guy do you want to come it actually the same question goes for and it's a good transition

to the group date when Joey wins like you're of course right she probably said Joey's a guy I want to kiss for four minutes yeah yeah right like you like bachelor right you get a lot of say in that stuff no no that was good does Keep going. No. Yeah. No, you do and you don't. I mean, sometimes it depends on if you're giving them good TV, then you get to slide with a couple things.

Wait, why were you hesitant to ask that? Were you worried about like a lawsuit or something? Oh, God, no. Oh, you just like really feel like you don't get that much. No, it depends. Sometimes you do and sometimes you don't. It depends if you piss someone off that week. You know, another thing too?

Oh, so if you piss someone off, you actually, they might be like, no, you're going to make out the person we watch them. Oh, wow. Okay, you know, another thing that's interesting. The same date, I'm 98% sure of this, not 100%, but I'm pretty sure that the same date that Charity and Aaron B had for their dinner, that's the same venue that we used after we were on, after we had our hometowns, that's where they did the Rose Ceremony, because I remember walking up those steps. I'm going to pass out. I'm so nervous. I can't, I'm not going to get up there. I've seen like four locations in the past four years of places they use for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They use locations all the time. They just have different art departments doing, sometimes they can. can't do much but sometimes they switch it up but the i need to go back to the thongs okay all of those

guys are like six foot five yoked yeah that's insane dudes in thongs which that's how it is sorry but no guy looks attractive in a thong even if you're like that i'm like but you're in a neon pink thong and can you believe they would do that while joseph's daughter is at home I love the throwbacks I like the throwbacks too there's a lot of dodgeball dates a lot of dodgeball dates yeah thank God I wasn't on any of those

why I think you'd be good at dodgeball you think so yeah yeah I think back on you just always I think my point is yeah I can do the football all that stuff but you just look like a jackass no one like looks like oh you threw the ball fast everyone loves you no he's like

I think it's hot you do if a guy's good at sports yeah like dodgeball and a thong like you're you're paying attention to their athleticism like Adrian makes us the catch and you're like oh that's my husband well when he caught the two that's a different story

he had one ball in his hand and he caught it at the same time I was like that was impressive you thought that was hot no I thought it was impressive like you think Adrian's hot like like we're saying we don't feel like connected to anyone yet but that's how well we feel connected to Joey Joey

I was connected to joy before a show though douche jar No dollar right there Joey was a buddy of mine Yeah I know The guy's amazing And he was before the show And I think everyone needs to know that

That like the day I met him He told me he was from Hawaii And I was like that's Caitlin The island he was from Is your favorite place to visit And I called you it Right after I met him This is this had nothing

This was a year before he was picked To go on a show I was like yeah Oh yeah This was two years probably Year and a half two years Oh I thought you met him And he said he was auditioning

No no no no I was two years before, and the second, I was so, he left such an impression with me. I called you immediately after. I was like, you're not going to believe this guy I met. He's a pro tennis player out there. He said, he'll show us around any time. His energy was amazing. The whole time he's smiling, the guy is an absolute gem.

Yeah, he seems like a gem. He was in when he, so he reached out to me and he's like, hey, this person's saying they're from the show casting me, like, for, they DMed him. And he's like, is this legit? I was like, I don't know that name. So I went to Melissa, the casting director. I was like, who is this person? Oh, we just hired that person. It's legit.

And I said, go get that guy. He is awesome. And he's a great kisser, apparently, or at least a long kisser. I just kept stopping. I'd like see beautiful girls in Vancouver, and I'd be like, you should go to the bachelor. And like, if they said hi or something, like, if they, there's so many good looking girls in Vancouver, it's bizarre. But they would be like, oh, nice to meet you or whatever. And I'd be like, I'd take a picture of you and send just casting.

Did any of them get on? I don't know. I send in a few. Yeah. Anyways. We can't pass over, though, if we're done with Dodgeball, we can't pass over Joey's one-on-one conversation because that was the most powerful part of the episode, I thought. That was not the Dodgeball date.

Joey got a one-on-one. We're not there yet. No, I said if we're not, didn't you? I said if we're not done with the Dodgeball day, like if we're done with the Dodgeball date, let's go to that. Now, forget it. But if you want to keep going, dodgeball, we keep doing it. Oh, no, I'm over Dodgeball.

Do you think they actually, like, they gave him Shavers and raised? and people are like for sure clean it up yeah I would yeah like when you go on the show you go yeah well yeah I I'm like who's going on to the show with like full how do you do well I'll tell you what I did I would save I would save the bush for when and then I'd be like oh because you can't shave it every day otherwise it hurts this is before laser but you can't shave it every day so I'd wait till it was like a potentially a bathing suit date or potentially. But that's what I'm saying. You know it's going to be a group date on a beach and you don't

Well, he didn't know they were wearing thongs. Actually, it was Sons Out Bons out. They should have known. Yeah. But maybe they wanted to clean up a little bit more. Okay. I don't know. Dudes can be hairy. I think it's fine. It was. I paid attention to that wind. That was cold out there.

That's tough. I didn't even look at a bulge once. I wasn't like size and a month. If it's not going to be bulges. Really? I thought that was only if it was in cold water. No. Shrinkage happens when it's cold, cold? Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, that's an excuse.

They're like, oh, man, it's so windy. It's the wind. It's the wind. No, if it's cold, cold, there's going to be shrinkage. I mean, they're in L.A. How cold is it? It was coming in, I mean, Charity was in a hoodie. It was windy.

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with their ready to drink coffee. So go grab yourself some Starbucks coffee ready for right now. Shop the full lineup online or in store or wherever you buy groceries. What's the worst thing? All right. You're the Bachelorette. It's 20 dudes playing dodgeball. They all shave up. They're in their thongs. What's the number one worst thing that you can Witnesses the Bachelorette like what's like a met like paint the worst case scenario I already had that farts or someone like oh my god a little squirt a Hershey squirt What would be like what you're the bachelorette worst thing that could possibly happen would be What would be the second worst? Well I saw it on on my season they did a wrestling date and they had

I don't want to butcher the name of it it's very like part of the culture Hey Siri. What do you call a wrestling diaper? I Mawashi And this guy Joe Bailey His nuts were just hanging out And he was like And he called me

Sweetart He goes sorry sweetheart You've seen it all now His nuts were out Oh fully I saw both of them Was his piece out or no No just the nuts

Just the nut Where was the piece? Tucked up in the Mawashi And it's like Like really tight here And his ballsack Was just yeah

Yeah What did you think of that Balls are gross I don't care how beautiful your piece is down there It's tough to like paint Balls are not hot Yeah Ew

How dangly one The dangly ones Ha ha You like the dangly ones Oh sick Why do they dangle so long sometimes Is that after you ejaculate It's a heat thing

So the hot Ew and it's hot they dangle more Yeah when they're hot Hot balls sagmore Sick Yeah you have to like your balls actually, as far as they can get away from your body to cool off. They cool off.

Oh, smart body. And that smart body. And then when it's super cold, you shrink because your balls need to get warm. So they go as close as they try to like go up into your body. They got to be in the proper climate for your stomach. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, but why do, like, is it after you ejaculate, do they hang?

It says ring for wine. I got my sperm tested the other day. I know. Got some swimmers in you. Got some swimmers. Great numbers. Guess what? Yeah.

My eggs are washed up frozen somewhere, but the real, I don't even know if I have any left in here. 38 now. But you got good frozen ones. You don't know they're good yet. Anyways, why do they hang so low? Wait, you don't? I'd see you're like two things. Oh, I really want to go back to balls.

Okay, let's go back to balls. Let's go back to balls. No, I don't know. You don't know how good the eggs are that are frozen. Oh, I thought they would only freeze them if they're good and healthy, right? They're healthy, but you don't know if they're going to work. I've read something recently. It's 70% chance that it's going to be successful if you have a healthy egg.

Okay, we're going to go back to balls. I'm not a fertility doctor. Balls can get like super, super like dangly if it's really warm out. And then they go like, it's crazy how, like the volatility in the size of the nuts set. Volatility of the nuts. It can go from like this big to like literally. Like give me the crock. Get the crock real quick.

No, not yet because if I get up, that's going to go like. just basically like in a matter of seconds like I know but it's just it's crazy I want to see it I want to like next time you're naked

I'm just gonna like throw cold water on it and see I'm like just like it's crazy weird it's slinky like you know slinky goes up and then

ew now I'm picturing a slinky dick no we're talking about balls anyways let's move on we can only talk about balls for so long mom isn't listening to this one she definitely is

hi mom Hey, Mom Hey, Gluge, sorry I'm such a disappointment to the family Do you need some more? No, I'm good, thank you. Since when are you taking it easy? No, I'm not.

I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry. Sorry for who's in, you're sorry. No one. What's that from? I'm not sorry, what's that from? Home alone. I'm not sorry, Buzz.

Yeah, I'm not sorry, Buzz. Yeah, I'm not sorry, I said what I said. And he goes, beat that, you little trouts never. Okay. Brayden, let's go back to Dengley, hearing Braden. Okay. He's just showing his age.

He's 24. Oh, she doesn't tell me what I want to hear. My bags are packed. Yeah. Ew, bro. Here's what I think. I always think about this. How do you go into filming a reality show and then act like that 10 days in?

I get when people crack after like four or five weeks. I get when they crack after five days. I get it. But I guess, you know, you can only be a certain person for so long. It's really hard getting the first impression rose. I will say that. I've never gotten one, but I know that it's hard because...

It's like the only thing you haven't gotten in this franchise. First impression, Rose. I'm all sad. No, I want one. Okay. Here we go. No, but it's hard because

then you feel like you're already chosen. And then now you have to watch this person, you have the most incredible connection with, go make connections with everybody else. When all these other guys have to, like, build and build and build, you already have this validation. And then I feel like Braden... That's true.

So I'm... That's true. giving him the benefit of the doubt yeah because i remember with blake too he got the first impression oh it's hard or no he got no he got the first one-on-one i went well and blake just like slowly was falling apart as far as like how how hard it was to be around the guys as his connection got and the lines are so blurry where brayden needs to realize like if you're talking now 10 days in about how that's your girl and she's being classless by making out with other guys in front of you and you are on the bachelorette i understand that it sucks and i

understand that it hurts your feelings and that's very valid because you're a real human being but you can't make her feel bad for it she's got such the bachelor and the bachelor have the most incredibly terrifying responsibility to not hurt people but you're but knowing you're hurting people and from anything and everything we've seen from charity she is there's a fly i know i know there is the she is the classiest of all time like to call her classless no i didn't see your episode. But she is so classy. I can't, can we put, like, I'm trying to talk to you and I look past you and all I see is and your ass's feet. I know, that's so bad. Can we put those like, look those bunions. I mean, though. It's fucking intense. Like what? Braden will be great on

paradise though. Oh, maybe he'll get the redemption. I'll get the redemption story. But I mean, if you're already worried. If you know it's going down, it's going down quick. If you think that's disrespectful where the date is set up, like she didn't plan that date. They have. date planners for that she has to she has to do it those guys didn't have to watch they chose to because they were all like you know and it is what it is it sucks yeah but if if you're already concerned about that what's going to happen when she goes into the bansk bam yeah that's i was thinking about that and and i'm i'm a team i'm all team joey but i will say just like for those other guys i felt bad that sucks i truly you're sitting in for four minutes watching that's

tough i truly don't know the ending or who she picks but if she doesn't pick joey i hope he's bachelor Joey is just whatever good comes his way I'll be happy for him He is as real as it gets And like it was so cute what he said His way everyone was talking about their favorite kiss And he was like mine And it just happened to be the longest kiss ever

I was like smooth The not chunky peanut butter smooth peanut butter Spoiler alert you and I were asked to host that date Oh yeah we were And we passed Why wouldn't they ask Gabby and Ray till first. Maybe they asked them for another one and they couldn't. Why did we pass? I don't know. I don't remember. Why did we pass? Yeah. Because you're like, I'm not going from hosting the show to hosting a

bachelor longest kiss date. Well, the money wasn't good enough for me. You got to say no to some things and that budget's gone down. But then they asked me to host, well, they asked both of us again to host. If I was interviewing you, I'd say, well, how much we offered? Yeah, it was like, no, I'm not talking about that because to that it's a lot of money to some people and I just am going to sound greedy how much did you make as a host versus how much do you I'm not talking about it we also got offered to go down to paradise that's what I was just going to say yeah that was I would have actually like to host that date because well I can't I probably can't we couldn't we couldn't go down to paradise though because I think we would have gone down we both had obligations that you had CMA fest you had no and you

had a bit you out in L.A and I had my thing with Wyndham in grand numbers we had two business obligations that made a lot more sense than going down to paradise the other thing too is you go down especially if you're just hosting one date you go down it's a whole process you schlep it's three five three five days if it's only going to be hosting one section of one day you're going to film for like eight hours i just really wanted to like hang out with kerry and gina two seconds of air time like two not even two so it's like it will never make like economical sense well that's That's what I don't, I don't go on to, I go on for like, I genuinely like helping people if I can help in any way. Yeah.

I definitely like money. And I love hanging out with my old friends, like the stylist and the makeup artist and all the like, I love. Yeah. I love them. Yeah. So that's like, I don't know, a win for me. But let's talk about Joey. You know what I had so much.

Like I just say, like one of the most fun I've ever had with the show was when we got to do listen to your heart. judges that was so much fun i would have done that for free 18 000 times over yeah i did really enjoy that that was fun although it was like two months later when rita rita wilson she was on the panel was like three weeks later it was like three weeks later she got covid and you were sick as a dog and we're like did we get covid from tom hanks and rita wilson i'll take it yeah Tommy honks love them okay okay joey yeah just a just seems like a stand-up guy had a very important conversation with charity about his dad came out when he was in kindergarten which is so i hate when people say it's so brave but it really is because i just got goosebumps about him coming out just like you'd say it like how sweet that was

and just the story just gave me goosebumps yeah i just thought that probably shaped him as a person in and he chose for it to shape him in an incredible way where he sees love as in all shapes and sizes and forms and different ways and it felt like you know he's so close with his dad still and goes to him for everything and this I say this all the time about having divorced parents that are both incredible people I still was shown healthy love you know like I still I still got to see two people respect each other maybe there's a dull moment in there a dark time but overall and that you know he chose to see it as that too and his parents chose to still have a strong relationship and I don't know he just seems you know you can just tell somebody's a good guy yeah like even

If you didn't know him, I would have already, I'm sure everybody that has watched, it's like, wow, that's a good guy. And that's why, I know you gave me the douche jar, which I owe two bucks to, but that's why I wanted to bring it up, because there's some people that might seem like a good guy, and then there's a really good guy, and he is a really good guy. And the two things that you already mentioned, I loved about the conversation. One, the vulnerability, I want to give people perspective. By week two of the Bachelorette, when they're filming, you're talking about four days,

probably since you walked out at limo and and it's very very tough four days in to get used to the cameras and everything and then be vulnerable for him to be okay with the cameras vulnerable about vulnerable something about something so important to him so early and then showcase like his love admiration respect and the fact he said he's the most important person in my life yeah I don't know. It was so, so, so important and powerful in a message that is just amazing. I feel like they have such a good connection too. Like right now, these are my thoughts.

Adrian is too serious. Yeah. Buzz Killington. Yeah. Which I also like, I want to kind of like give him a little slack. Like he's got a kid. Like he's just kidding. You know what I mean?

No, he knows what he is. He's a mature guy. He's 33. He's 33. have to realize that you can't charity probably wants to see your fun side and you can you have this opportunity to make friends and have fun and it's that place is going to be hell for you if you don't make it fun that's true yeah going in but still like you know if like if i went on to the show now there's some 23 year old yeah oh i get it that is tough especially if you yeah right you'd be

shot gunning with them that's true i'd be like braided give me your ear let's pop this beer yeah that's Exactly what you would do. Caleb B needs to get rid of the goatee. I can't do a goatee on a guy. No? I love facial hair, but a goatee just reminds me of my stepdad. Anyways, we love Joey. Ravi.

Actually, my dad, my dad has a goatee. So it's for dads. It's for dads. It's a dad thing. We love Aaron. And Joey, Joey's just, yeah. Top dog. Top, hot, ditty dog.

Anyone else sticking out to you? In a good way or bad or both? Just like in a good way. Like, you see any, like, how about studs? Do you see any stud? You see any guys that you're just like... Tanner seems cute. Tanner's stud.

I didn't think Erin was a stud until after the date, the first date, the first one-on-one. Then I was like, wow, he's a stud. Yep. I don't really know. It's hard, but it's only episode two. I love Charity's reactions. Like when she had that one, she was talking about the date with Aaron and she said, Phenomomel.

She's like, it was phenomenal. Like that, when she did that, it was so pure. Through the TV screen, you could feel a real emotion, not some fake bullshit. Mm-hmm. we love some real we love a real queen and she is a real queen what else do you got anything else no i think that's it um i don't watch the first episode which i should probably do and then because now i want to see these guys now that i know a few of them like from this episode i kind of want to go back and see their limo entrances and stuff and see why she gave brayden the first impression rose

because maybe that'll change my tune a little bit okay well i mean i think until like for most bacheloretts until recently, the person who got the first impression where I was like went all the way. Because women's intuition is no joke. Do you think by the end of this is now? I say that and then I'm like, we're at the end of it. That's actually pretty stupid.

At the end of week two, did you have a pretty good idea of who was going to be in your top four? Yeah, but Ben Higgins was a surprise for me. Oh, really? And do you think at the end of week two? Actually, Jared and Ben were a surprise for me. knew. Well, no, Nick wasn't even there yet. Okay. So no. So no. So no. So you knew one person

of the four that would be in your top four. Yeah. I did, I thought that I had a better chance of lightning striking me than me being in the top four after week two. And I think if Becca was here, she would say there was no chance he was in my top four. Yeah. I love, but I, we love a slow burn and a underdog. Yeah. Love the underdogs. But that's, I mean, and I was the opposite going into Chris Solzies and I was like I am the best one here I was like can we talk about this what I'm going way off the cuff here but we're in Bachelor Nation talking off the vine you mean going off the vine what do you make of all this transition of Bachelor Happy Hour podcast I want to know what's going on well there was there was click bait is that gone so clickbait's

gone now I got rid of it then there was a Bachelor Happy Hour which was originally I think run by Rachel Lindsay and Becca Kufrin. They then rotate a different host than it was Michelle and Becca Kufrin. There was some kind of controversy with what happened. Oh, you do? Yeah. Well, why did? No, I don't.

It's not my story to tell. I will say. Okay. I will say one thing. And I hope this is not me telling their story, but me feeling like something was justified. Okay. But when we went for, I might have already talked about this. When we went for Gabby and Rachel's finale,

okay we were going to address oh i've already talked about this we're going to address eric doing blackface and uh michelle was very passionate on having a voice for that and beka and i were there to support her and to be a part of it and they didn't touch on it and michel just walked off the stage and at the end we walked off and we're like what happened they're like oh it was it what a great episode though hey we ran out of time was the point like you know when you usually get a show what do they call a run-up show? Was that in the run-of-show? And then they just got rid of it.

And we were all quite upset with everybody from it. And we were just straight up, like, this is bullshit. And Michelle was like, I am the host of your podcast, and you have again made me feel not heard, not seen. And I don't know if that has anything to do with it. But I know she was going to quit the podcast from that. And that's all I'll say, because I don't know why or what happened from there. and I don't know, and it's not my story to tell, so I don't, I actually don't know.

So that was something I saw, but I don't know if that was the reason for leaving. But then we saw Thomas talking about how he didn't agree with some things that were going on behind the scenes. So I'm not sure. It sounds like the way it went down didn't seem like it was professionally handled in Thomas' perception. Right. But I love Joe and Serena. Love me some Joe and Serena. Oh yeah, Joe and Serena are great.

But if they're stepping into a role, like for me, I would choose to say no to that if it had anything to do with what I saw. Yeah, but I bet Joe and Serena definitely don't know that. Of course. No, I don't know any of this either. And I don't know if that's what it is. I don't know. And if that was the case, of course, you know, for them, but for stepping away and doing their own thing. But the only thing I would ask is the timetable.

When was that finale? Yeah, it was a long time ago. Over a year ago, right? So you would think if that was the reason she would have probably stepped away right away. Yeah. And that stayed for another year. Right.

I don't know. It's interesting. Very, very interesting. Yeah. And then you think who else would they have picked? Well, Joe and Serena were already in their circle. Oh, Serena's probably pissed because she's like, well, now I worked on getting my own visa. I'm Canadian.

I could have got it through your show now. Oh, yeah. Oh, and Joe, oh, yeah. That's a headache. That's a headache. A ton of money on that. But I just think, like, who. Who else could have done? Who else could have hosted that, you think, other than Joe and Serena?

It's pretty limited. Gabby and Rachel? Oh, shit. No, is, oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, Roman heard something. Okay, well, that's it. So I got. All right. Anything else going on in Bachelor Nation world? I don't think so. Nothing? I mean, you know. Nothing. Do I know? Yeah, like you get your little Bachelorette chat, like anybody, any news going on? No, we always just say happy birthday to each other.

We don't talk about this stuff often. There's no tea. We all just say happy birthday to each other, and we just invited charity into the group chat and talked about how incredible she is. She's awesome. That's it. And we're out of time, so.

We're at a time. Yeah. I'm sweating. Why are you sweating? In my sweatsuit. Because it's hot in here. I think it's cool. Oh, am I okay?

Thanks, everybody, for either listening or watching, and what do you say? Do you always say at the end, rate, and review? Well, first of all, it really helps the show to follow. So follow Caitlin's show. It's free to do so. Go to YouTube.

Make sure you subscribe. We're trying to get to 100,000 followers. If Caitlin gets to 100,000 subscribers, I get to tattoo something on her. So please do that. Every video that you see, like and comment. And I think the most important. Oh, I feel so despy when I asked for that, though. No, but it's probably growing your show.

And people out there love your show, so they want it to grow. Please help. Five stars on Apple really helps. Give me five stars on Apple. Five stars on Apple. And then with that, with that. Tell Caitlin who you want her to have on as a next guest. Alicia, her producer, will check it out.

And then let's throw in one more thing. Of anybody that gives a review in the next week, Caitlin is going to send you one signed bottle of Spade and Sparrow. So she's going to pick one person. You got to write the review, though, and you're going to get a signed bottle from Caitlin Bristow. Desperado. It's part of working.

Sitting in a old Monte Carlo. You're working. Oh, okay. Well, thank you for that. It feels better when somebody else says it, not me. Wait, there was one more thing. Subscribe, comment, bleep-bl-bl-boo. I lost my train of thought.

Costco, wine. What was it about? I don't know. Okay. People are, we've probably lost them. Okay. If you stayed this long, thanks. I'm Caitlin Bristow.

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