Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Alexis Haines

Episode Date: May 28, 2020

Kaitlyn’s Grape Therapy guest is author, podcaster and former reality tv personality, Alexis Haines! Alexis tells Kaitlyn about her role in the “Bling Ring” burglaries and how it landed her a short stint in prison. She talks about trauma from her childhood, how she overcame addiction and eventually opened up a treatment center with her husband. Later, they talk about their favorite reality shows and Alexis shares (with great detail!) a sexy confession! GEICO – Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance BEST FIENDS – Download Best Fiends FREE on the Apple App Store or Google Play HYDRANT – For 25% off your first order, go to DrinkHydrant.com/VINE or enter promo code VINE at checkout CALDREA – Get free shipping on orders of $50 or more when you buy online at Caldrea.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your question. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Grape Therapy. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today I am speaking with a best-selling author, mental health advocate, former reality TV star, podcast hosts, and a wife and mother of two. She was the star of E reality series pretty wild and quickly became a media sensation. About a year ago, she launched her podcast recovering from reality after truly experiencing the darker sides of fame and spending time behind bars as a convicted member of the bling ring, which likely sounds familiar to you from her time in the news or from the hit

movie starring Emma Watson. She's here today to talk about all of this and more. I'm very excited to hear her story. Please welcome to the podcast, Alexis Haynes. Hi, thank you so much for doing this remotely. Yeah, this is great. Podcasting from my bed. Have you? I know it's great, right? I love podcasting from home. It's like one of my favorite things to do because I just feel like you're more comfortable. You can just be cozy. I know we have the video on, but it's okay because it's quarantine and anything goes it works no i'm enjoying it yeah quarantine with a family a husband two kids right you have two kids i do how is that going i need a break absolutely so this is something i know that you know obviously you're a big lover of wine i'm nine years sober so mommy doesn't get her

like i hear a lot the happy juice at five o'clock every night so um it's definitely more challenging to find the reprieve in these moments of chaos, which it is in my house right now nonstop between my daughter's competition dance team doing, I feel like nonstop zooms all day long. Really? And then homeschooling now, which is not for me. And keeping up with my own business and then my husband's business, which I help with often. And it's, it's a lot. But we're doing it. I mean, that's crazy. You're taking on so many different roles in a 24-hour day period. Like, that's exhausting. And like you said, you need a break. Mums, well, parents in general, like, you don't get breaks. If you're staying at home and you're, you know, now your kids are permanently

home, you do not get a break unless you're sleeping. Yes, unless they're sleeping. Unless they're sleeping. Yeah. How old are your kids? So my daughter's about to turn seven next week, my oldest, and then I have a three-year-old toddler. Oh, my goodness. I can't even imagine. I can't even like. I know. What's it like to be quarantined with your dogs? It's the best. Like, it's just so the dogs are loving it. I'm loving it. I really can't complain. Like, there are times where I feel even overwhelmed. And I'm like, I am like a dog mom. like get to do what I love from home and I get overwhelmed. So my heart goes out to the people who don't get a break.

So you're a hero too. The nurses, the doctors and you. And moms. Yeah, it's a lot. And it really is. I mean,

taking on that many different roles, especially for your kids. Like that's homeschooling. I mean, I just can't even imagine. I can't even imagine. But what do you do to relax or like, you know,

if five o'clock comes or the kids go to bed, what do you do to relax? Yeah. So for me, it's just really taking care of my mental health. And I have different tools in my toolbox that I've used over the last nine years of my sobriety to help me cope with stress. And, you know, I always want to preface when I say this, like the face masks and the CBD oil and all of those things are great. But self-care to me. me is really about dealing with my inner psyche and the things that are emotionally bubbling up for me. And I do that through journaling, through meditation, through speaking to a therapist, through emotional freedom technique tapping, through movement, which is huge for me. And by doing the little things that I love, like staying really present and cooking a meal

and not focusing on the gazillions of things that I have to do this day. But when I'm making breakfast, just really being hyper-focused on opening up the windows and being with my children and, you know, every single movement is like one that I cherish because I know that the day is about to get really chaotic. And then it's like eight hours of chaos. And then I come back and I have like my unwind time. And so I am a very holistic, crunchy mom. So we start diffusing oils and we turn on our rock lamps and we dim the lights in the

house and cook a family meal together. And then every night I have to, I try my best. I shouldn't say I have to, but I try my best to clear out my entire inbox, which is such a huge thing for my mental health. If I feel like there's undelt with emails, it just stresses me out. And then I feel like it's piled on the next day. And then I'm constantly behind. And so that helps.

And then I do an evening meditation and usually watch some junk TV and then go to bed. That's great. I mean, that sounds so I will tell you, I love diffusing oils. I love getting in like a state where like, you, like, Just you saying, dimming the lights. I'm like, I can't wait to do that later. Just like get quiet. And think about, Jason and I always talk about our day, like favorite parts, most

rewarding part of the day. Like, we always talk about that kind of thing. I just got the five-minute journal. And I'm trying because in this time of quarantine, I have found that I don't, I'm not, I'm not enjoying how I'm doing it. I was just kind of trying to avoid everything. And I wasn't, I'm obviously not going to my therapist anymore. So I was kind of just like, just like.

Ignoring problems, ignoring my inner voice. I was drinking too much wine. Like, I love wine and I will always, you know, enjoy a glass. But I was just kind of overdoing it. And last night was the first night where I was like, Caitlin, stop. Like, this is not doing you any good. I was starting to just drink wine because it was open, not because I was like, oh, let's have a glass of wine with cooking or, you know, like sitting down with Jason.

It was like, well, it's open. I might as well drink it. And I have, just last night, I did candlelight yoga. I diffused oils, I had a bath. And like you said, I know, I talked to this, you know, do you know Aaron Trelor from Raw Beauty Talks? Okay, I feel like you would really enjoy her. I think that our mutual friends tried to set me up with her.

Yes, you have to connect. And we talk about that a lot, how like, yeah, the face masks are great and the bubble baths and everything. And that can, you know, that is self-care, but it's going deeper than that sometimes too. And that's why I started doing that five-minute journal, Bailey actually told me about it. And even just doing it one night, I'm like, this is going to be very rewarding for me

even just in a few months looking back, especially in this time, you know? The goal for me is to regulate my central and autonomic nervous system. So I'm someone who, because of all of the trauma I've experienced in life, suffers from anxiety along, you know, I've had many diagnoses, most all of them I've recovered from anxiety is the one thing that pops and rears its ugly head that I still deal with to this day. And so for me, it's about not getting those cortisol and adrenaline dumps. And I notice that when I'm not taking care of myself, when I'm not being really present and hence, like obviously recovering from reality is a pun on the fact that I'm recovering from like reality TV and the chaos

of that. But it's also about like recovering from our individual reality. So for me, I had to take a really good, hard look at myself in what areas of my life am I not using my attention and intention, right? And so just like you were saying, all of a sudden, you got really focused, you gave your attention to yourself, and you were thinking, what's my intention with this glass of wine? Am I just using this to cope? Yeah.

And in order to do that, we have to access the front of our brain. brains. That's the prefrontal cortex. And most of us are living in our limbic brains, which is in the back of our head and it's our reptilian brain. And it's when we're in a state of fight or flight and on automatic pilot all day long. It's the reason why you don't have to think to remember to do certain things. And it's great and it's super helpful. But we have to get to a point where we can slow down and be present enough to access that prefrontal cortex to go, okay, in what areas of my life right now am I doing things that just aren't serving me and aren't bringing joy and peace to my life because those little things build up and then that's when you start having more anxiety and

experiencing oppression and all those other things. And that has that's so fascinated when you say that because I'm like, oh my gosh, that is me right now. And why do you think people don't want to access that part of their brain because they just don't want to go there because they don't want to deal with those real things? They're like, why don't we go there enough? Yeah, so that's a great question. There's, it's a very long, they would be a very long answer. The short form answer is this. We live in a constant state of stress. And we've seen over the last several generations, especially with divorce rates being so high and both parents working out of the house and financial stress. And the fact that if you think about this, this is crazy, the kids that

are graduating high school right now were born around the time of 9-11. We have been at war ever since. Their parents, their mothers were pregnant with them. In a time of high stress, We know that infants develop and conceal their mother's feelings in the womb, starting at six months. And for generations after generations, ever generations, there's been trauma that's transpired. And so what happens is we develop this reptilian brain. Nobody can see me, but I'm pointing to the back of my neck up to the top of my head. Yeah. And it's the first part of our brain that has to develop because it is, um,

um our lifeline like it's the thing that tells us there's a bear here i need to get out quick it's a thing that helps us crawl to our mother's breast if she died during childbirth so that way we can latch on and eat it's the thing that that sustains us and gets us through um early childhood and then around age 10 if you're lucky um and you haven't incurred a lot of constant trauma your prefrontal cortex begins to develop. It begins to develop at age 10 and doesn't stop developing until age 28. But it's hard to access. So the reason, some of the reasons why it's hard to access our prefrontal cortexes are the foods we eat, consuming lots of sugar, lack of sleep, lack of community and deep, meaningful connections with other people in our life that bring us joy and peace and

happiness um and then of course trauma and so it takes um a lot of work to learn how to access and operate from that prefrontal cortex i mean it's when somebody when you're driving down the road and someone cuts you off and then flips you off that's them living in their limbic brain in the fighter flight you know what i mean so it definitely takes um a lot of work to get back to that making that prefrontal cortex function again. And what you're saying of how I, like when it becomes difficult is all the things we're going through in life right now, you know. So though we are a part these days, we're sharing more and more.

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the 15% credit lasts your full policy term. Visit GEICO.com slash give back for info and eligibility. Learn more about GEICO's 15% credit on car and motorcycle policies at GEICO.com slash give back. I don't know this question. And so I'm asking you because I know you said you're an open book, but what was your childhood like? Yeah. So it's interesting because a lot of times people think that they know me and you do an intro that shares parts of my story, but people don't actually know the Alexis before 18 years old and then the Alexis after 19 years old because people really saw like a year long blip into my life. Millions of people watched my meltdown on national television and it's still going on today.

So I grew up in a household with a mom who, I call it spiritual bypassing, she was this free-loving hippie chick. She had life-sized Buddhas in the house. Sage was always burning and incense and she meditated multiple times a day, but she had so much internal chaos and sexual abuse and violence in her household that she just was not willing to like at all look at and so she was just like a chronically stressed out person who was constantly reaching out for like crystals or this or that to try to cope and then my dad was the a very famous director of photography so he did friends for nine years oh really and the nanny

and all of those 90 sitcoms he was the DP but he was a really bad raging alcoholic with mental health issues so my dad ended up cheating on my mom when I was three and my little sister was 18 months and he basically just left us wow and my mom of course lost her mind and and there was other traumas going on in the household too so there was incest going on in our household and um i started to be raped around the age of like five oh my gosh i'm so sorry that's okay and it went on for um about two years it was probably going on before but i don't have memory prior to five i i my very distinct memories were at a family member's wedding and i know i was five then so um i should say one of the distinct memory so it i just

I grew up in a constant state of chaos, and I remember just being a little girl. I never, like, I didn't like sleeping. I never felt safe in my home. Right. My mom began dating lots of different men that I would fall in love with, and then that wouldn't work out. And my dad has been married and divorced five times. His girl, one of his girlfriends was sexually abusing me.

Babysitter was sexually abusing me. Wow. So, by the time I was 12, even a little bit before, I was like, I have, I can't deal anymore, like, with this, you know, and there was already behavioral issues. And I was already flunking at school. And I was already showing the symptoms of a child who, like, was so traumatized, but didn't know how to express any of it. I kept my sexual abuse and then also I should add that my dad was physically violent towards me. And so I kept my sexual abuse as secret until after I got sober. And that's because my main abuser was somebody that I really loved. And I had very warped views.

All the love that I experienced as a child was conditional. I'll love you if you perform this sexual act on me. I'll love you if you behave a certain way. If you're a good little girl, if you don't, you know, I remember my parents referring to me as like a hypochondriac by like the age of eight. Like as if I'm some overly sensitive, you know, kid who's just crying wolf all the time when it's like, no, people, you're nuts. Like I'm not the crazy one. like you're the crazy one right um and so there was a lot of gaslighting and just like chaos and um so i started experimenting with substances and then by the time i was um 14 i had a

surgery and i experienced pain pills the high of pain pills for the first time and i was like how the fuck do i get my hands on this forever like I want this is this is the warm hug that I've been missing my entire life like this is it of course you had been through so much that like a feeling of being like numb and high or whatever would would bring you comfort absolutely so um after that that was around yeah 14 so then going into ninth grade I remember going to my high school and the years would think I was crazy because I'd be like, who has Vicodin? Like, how do I get Vicodin? Do you have some lean? Like, because back then, everyone could get their hands on coating cough syrup. Right. And so by the time

I was 15, I was fully addicted to OxyContin. I was smoking 80 milligram oxycottons, snorting Xanax, drinking. It was crazy. And my mom basically pulled me from school and was like, you got to get your GED. like if you're going to not show up to class you at least have to get your GED and the thing is like I was such a smart intelligent like wise sensitive kid right I just couldn't cope in like the world but I don't think would anybody that has been through that be able to cope no probably not it doesn't really matter how resilient you are when you've been traumatized like that it literally affects the neural pathways in your brain and sets you back in ways that like you just could never even imagine unless you've been through something like that. So I did that and I graduated

and then I started part part partying in Hollywood just like my mom did when she was my mom was a model and um she you know so when I was 17 and at kid Rock's house all night she she she was like no whatever you know and when i was out until 5 a.m. doing marilyn manson music videos because that's how i got into the industry is i started working as a music video girl because i had a history of dance right and so like i was a classically trained ballet uh dancer and in tap and jazz as well for much of my childhood that was kind of my saving grace before i found drugs yeah and um and so I just I was partying and I was out with my adoptive sister Tess and we basically just got discovered it was like a one in a million chance um we always believed in like the secret it was

you remember the secret of course yeah so maybe some of your listeners who are younger like don't remember the secret but um no I was raised in earnest Holmes philosophy to science his mind which is what the secret is based off of, which is basically like you can manifest anything you want into existence. So for about a month before we got our show, we did this affirmation. We are working in the entertainment industry earning upwards of $150,000 a year

with the intention of bettering the planet. And we would say that every single day and 30 days later, this guy finds us while we're working for some like non-sag horrible movie called frat party yeah um and before you knew it we got a contract with e for the exact dollar amount and um that was crazy so wait that's wild 30 days later after all your affirmations about that dollar amount and what you wanted to do that's wild yeah so but i'll tell you what's even more wild is, and this is what I help people with now is dealing with their

subconscious belief system. So I had said in that affirmation at the very end with the intention of helping people on this planet. But I wasn't able to do that at that time, right? I might have had that intention. And while my manifestation came to fruition, what was about to transpire in my life would, to the outside perspective, look like something that would destroy your life forever, but it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me. And now as a result of that, I am able to help heal people on this planet. That's so true. Wow. And what a journey. I signed my contract with E in June. Yeah. Right after my 18th birthday. Okay. And I was fully addicted to heroin at that point. Wow. Yeah. They didn't know it. Heroines, annex, weed, alcohol, crack, like whatever

I can get my hands on that. They didn't know. How are you able to hide that? It's very functioning. I think people don't. I think so for me like I was really good at getting like the perfect cocktail. Like don't get me wrong. There was lots and lots of blackouts. The night of the Orlando Bloom robbery, I was in a full blown blackout. But during the day I was able to cope because I would wake up, take my Adderall. So then I'm up. and then I would smoke my heroin so I'm numb and then I would take more Adderall in the afternoon and then smoke my heroin and then to come down at night I would do a little Xanax and a little bit of heroin and smoke a little bit of weed and then drink a little bit of alcohol I'm like mind-blown like I'm so glad you're here I know I'm glad I'm alive too it's really such a blessing um but yeah so in this spring so I get a lot of I would say it's just misinformation.

A lot of people think that I was the leader of the bling ring, that I knew all of the members. Can you explain that to people who don't know about this situation? So the bling ring occurred in 2008 and 2009, and it was mainly with Nick Prugo and Rachel Lee. There were these two kids from Calabas who one night, I guess, out of the blue, just thought, what if we robbed Paris Hilton's house while she was out of town?

Okay, to be fair, not to be fair, to be accurate, Paris would have these really crazy parties at her house and she had a house across the street and it was known that the house, you know, for people who lived in the L.A. area who were in that scene was often left unlocked and unattended to. And so I think Nick and Rachel ended up going to her house something like eight times and just cleared her out and it took her a while to figure out

that she had actually been robbed um because of the amount of stuff in the house right and they got away with it for a very long time so they started robbing houses in December 2008 and um I met Nick through my adopted sister test um in this late spring of 2009, just two months before I signed my contract with E. So that's another misconception. A lot of people think I got a show because of the bling ring. It's not true. The robbery happened after I signed my contract with E.

So I didn't really know Nick Prugo very well. One night we were out in Hollywood. I had gotten kicked out of my house because my behavior was so out of control. My mom could not handle me. anymore and um i went to next because and i'll just keep this like brief he liked to party the way that i did and so you just gravitate towards those type of people when you're in active addiction and one night we were out partying and um he said we've got to go and so we left the club that we were at and like i said i was probably a couple of zanax and

in and very loaded. Yeah. And I kind of came to in different stages of what had happened. But when I really started to sober up to what was happening, I was in someone's living room and a bag was in my hands and someone was yelling at me like, just stuff it, just stuff. And I'm like, okay, so I'm like stuffing the bag full of shit. And then I started to freak out a bit.

And Rachel and another member were there. along with Nick and I, and I'd never met, I didn't know Rachel or this other member prior to this experience. And so, I ran through the gate with Nick and we laughed because I was freaking out. And after that, I didn't talk to Nick. And that summer surveillance footage of him at Lindsay Lohan's house and at Audrey and Patrick's house started to come out on the internet. And I called, called the sheriff's apartment. I was like, I know who this person is. It's Nick. I never said anything because I was just scared and have never, while I was a drug act, and I certainly was no mother Teresa. I'd never robbed a house before. So like, I was pretty scared. I was like,

okay, that was like a weird thing. And like, I don't, like, I don't even know where we were. Like, I don't talk to this person anymore. Like, we're just moving on with our lives, you know? And so on the second day of filming, after a very long night of partying, I don't know if you remember Mickey Avalon, but like that was, he was like the thing. I'm going to send you his music later and you're going to go, oh my God, this guy was a thing. He was a thing. He was like the post Malone of 2009. Really? Yeah, he was. It was kind of crazy. Oh, my God. But anyways, I got home after a lot we had filmed and then I'd continued to party, of course. I got home. around like three or four a.m. popped to Xanax bar and I was like, well, I'll get like four hours of sleep, wake up and do it all over again, start filming. And the cops raided my house as we were filming the next day. And when they arrived, I was like, oh, you guys are here to talk to me because I've been calling you like all summer to tell you about Nick. And they were like,

no, we're here to arrest you for your involvement with one of the burglaries. And I was like, oh, I'm high as shit right now. You know, so, but okay, here we go. Yeah. And I proceeded to fight my case as a 19-year-old heroin addict on national television. And like I said, it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me because... And that's not to sound like I'm not remorseful. It's to give everybody hope that if you're in active addiction right now

and you haven't even admitted to yourself, it's okay. If you feel like you're the most piece of shit person on the entire planet, it's okay. If you've been abused your whole life and just don't think you're worthy of anything different, it's okay. Like going to jail ended up saving my life. Wow. So in that regard, I could say, like, that night at Orlando Bloom's house ended up saving my life.

Like, I would have died out there many, many years ago with the way that I consumed substances. We'll be right back with more off the line. Great Therapy. Let's take a break to talk about how we all need a break now and then. But even when I'm taking a break, I like to try and keep my brain active. I really do. And that's exactly why I love the game. Best Fiends. It's so much fun and you can take it with you everywhere you go because it's on

your phone. So if you're not familiar yet, Best Fiends is a puzzle game with thousands of fun challenges and tons of cute characters to collect along the way. Some people know I've been obsessed. I've actually been getting tweets about people who have also been obsessed with the Best Fiends because I've done it for a while now and I always find myself going to the app whenever I just have a few minutes to spare or when I'm waiting for my coffee to brew in the morning when I need a little break from checking emails or even just, you know, during commercials before bed, waking up, you know. At first, it was pretty easy to get through levels, but now I find that it's gotten a little more challenging as I play and I love a good challenge. The game

seriously never gets boring and always keeps me drawn in wanting more. I love that I get to collect cute little characters and then I use them to advance in more challenging levels. I also love getting my friends and family obsessed with the game too so we can compare what level we are all on and talk strategy. Best Fiends updates the game monthly with new levels and events. It never gets old. And Best Fiends treats their game like a service for their players. Plus, it does not require Internet to play, so you don't need to worry about Wi-Fi access

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Best Fiends. You're listening to Off the Vine Race Therapy. So I went to jail and then I got out and I clearly could see that heroin was a problem for me. And so I was like, well, I'm not going to do heroin. Is that how you got sober was going to jail? No. No. No.

Okay. Well, I detox in jail, which was a very gnarly, horrendous experience, and I spent the summer in jail. And then I got out and I was like, okay, so like heroin is clearly a problem. Like I should not touch heroin anymore. If only willpower work, John Drag Addicts. Only that worked. No one in my family had ever tried to get sober before. Like, no one had been like going to AA.

Like that was not a thing. And so within two weeks, I was back to using. and two months later, the cops knocked down my door again because I could not show up to probation because I had lost everything. I was on the brink of filing for bankruptcy. I couldn't afford my apartment anymore. I was panhandling on the streets for drugs and also other, you know, performing like sexual acts on drug dealers in exchange for heroin. I was doing whatever it took to get by. And I, I violated my probation. So went back to jail, detoxed again, and they were ready to sentence me to six years

in prison, which is crazy because that means that just three years ago I would have gotten out. And Judge Peter Espinoza, I'll say his name always and forever. I'm so, so grateful. He gave me a second chance at life. And he offered to sentence me to a year in treatment in lieu of jail time as long as I could not violate my probation. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I went to treatment. I became, while I was in, I went to school to become a licensed drug and alcohol counselor. I met my husband and we developed a beautiful friendship and eventually got married. We own a treatment center now, a little house, and yeah, and like the rest is history. And there's still so much, it's not like I got sober and I'm like life got. better like it didn't like life still shows up for us and I had so much to heal from I think that my driving force was that I used to just spend every single day trying to check out of my

reality out of my existence and now I was like hungry to check into it like okay let's deal with this like why do you not want to be here so bad like why do you want to kill yourself yeah what what is it So it was inside of you to start that change. It wasn't nobody. It was like we're sitting you down. It wasn't an intervention. It was you yourself that wanted it. And probably goes back to those affirmations that you're saying that your intention was to help other people.

So you obviously had that in you that, you know, you wanted to change. Yeah. I was done. I knew. And I remember going in and we were talking about a second season because the first season had just wrapped. and everything was still kind of up in the air. Wait, so when, with the seasons, so when, okay, so that was filming or airing and you were in jail? Or what was the time?

Yeah, wow. Oh, my gosh. Part of it, yeah. I mean, it was airing throughout the trial and through the end part, but yeah. So did that become part of the storyline? Yeah, the whole, the whole show, the show was supposed to be about. this like hippie version of the Kardashian family. Yeah. Um, and it turned into like the chaos of Alexis's life pretty much. And so, um, have you seen the show? No. Okay. I haven't. Makes her pretty

great reality TV. Um, I mean, I think it's hard. I think once you've been on reality TV, you know what's like the scripted parts that are like totally bullshit and what's not. Um, so it might not be as enjoyable for you but I know so many people who are like oh my god this is like the best thing ever really it's great yeah I mean I mean it's part of if you haven't seen my Nancy Joe meltdown I don't even know how we're talking right now like I actually have have not seen it but that's like a moment in pop culture history do you remember the soup I mean like I was yeah ripped apart on the soup every single week really week for an entire year I mean our show So ratings actually did like very, very well.

But back to my point of when I went into treatment, I made an active, a conscious choice that I was not going to return to the media space because I had seen my predecessors go before me and do that and relapse. And I knew that for me, that would be the path. And so for the first six years of my sobriety, I really stayed, even when the blingering movie came out, where Emma Watson was playing me, there was lots of press around that. All of these things that were coming out, as I was in my early recovery, I was just like, I have to stay away. And then the last election happened. And it was like the California bubble that I had grown up in.

We're like, we don't see color and, like, racism, like, is a thing of the past. And, like, all of the, all of my reality, like, was, like, I was kind of, it was almost, like, I have, like, a shaman friend who explains, like, when you get on the spiritual path and, like, God or the universe or whatever you want to think has a bigger plan for you, it's like you, you're going to be put through hell, like, where parts of yourself have to die, old beliefs, like, you have to begin waking up. You have to become unconscious. You have to get into spiritual work because prior to six years, sure, I'd gone to therapy. You know, and I was living a very, like, normal suburban life. My husband and I own a drug and alcohol treatment center. I was working as a counselor and mainly a stay-at-home mom. And my life is really quiet.

But it was almost like God was like, no, bitch. Like, we've got things to do on this fucking planet. Like, this is great. Like, small level. Sure, you're helping, like, several thousand people. people a year get sober great but like we've got more and so I I just felt this like push it was like every time I tried to deny it things would like push I would get this like push back push back push back and that's when I finally was like okay I feel confident I also think it was a

timing thing like had I gotten two year sober and tried to come back into the space and be like okay like i'm a counselor now and a life coach and a healer and i'm here to tell you like what's wrong with this planet and the fact that everybody in our jail system is just traumatized children and adult bodies and we can't operate like this anymore and the way that we've been operating for so long is killing people and we can't live like this people would have been like okay bitch like sit down and take a seat you know i needed to be at that seven eight year mark to and for me too to come into my own power and back into my own voice I started really working on my personal shame and I started doing a lot of brine brown's work it really started

to to dive into my spiritual practice and I was like okay like I've got this like I can deal you were able to trust yourself yeah so now when people say oh my god that's the blingering girl and I you know they can throw whatever they want at me and it's just like water on a duck's back It does not penetrate this, like, force-filled of, like, love and light that we're bringing to the planet right now. And for a lot of people that might seem really woo-woo, but I'm telling you, you don't go through the darkness of all of that and then sit here today and be able to talk like this unless you're, like, at that point.

And that's not to say that I'm always at this point. Yeah, no. Because I'm not. But that's where we're covering from reality is born. So it was just like, within a year, I launched the podcast and it was like immediately successful. And that was kind of like a clear indication like, okay, I'm doing the right work. Then I wrote the book.

Then I was immediately successful. And I was like, okay, this is a clear indication that this is the right work. And just a few weeks ago, I got an email from a huge film company. They want to buy the life rights to the book and make a movie. that's an indication from the universe that's like this is the right work yeah i launched um my life reset course you know what i mean it's like i just kind of realized that i'm not the only one who like i needed to go through this experience so that way other people can relate to my story and have hope that there's a way out i'm not the only one that's experiencing this

type of stuff and my work's not just for people who are inactive addiction or who have ever been addicted. It's for anybody. Yeah, that's, I listened to a couple of your podcasts and it's, it's, it's not specific to addiction at all. No, it's not. And you have so many different great guests on that like talk about many, like connections and, you know, like self work, just so many different things that you go through, um, or, or that you can work on just as an individual. Yeah. I think that that I wanted to create a space in a community of people who are in the work. I don't care what the work looks like for you. I wanted to create an environment where people can listen to other people's stories and walk away inspired and to feel a little bit less alone

in this often very lonely world that we live in. Right. Yeah, I actually bought your book, but now it's not coming to me for a long time because everything's pushed back. I'm sorry, I would have just sent you a copy had I known. No, no, no, that's okay. Bailey was telling me about it. So I was like, oh, I want to read that. And I was hoping to read it before, before I got to talk to you. But I mean, I could just sit here and listen to you, tell your story for so long. Because it, I'm just like, I don't know you, but I feel proud of you. And I'm just like, I want everybody to listen to your podcast and do everything.

Because like I said, it wasn't just for that. I listened to you. And I was like, okay. Well, I can't wait to get off the podcast with her so I can go listen to more. Like it's, it's really, really good things for everybody to listen to. Yeah. we have a really diverse um audience and and lots of diverse guests and you know and it was not something that came naturally to me at all because i'm a talker i think it was probably in the last like 30 episodes

that i learned to like shut the up and flip you know what i mean though when you're like a natural gabber and i wanted the podcast to be very conversational um i don't i don't like listening to interview podcast. I think being able to have like a nice conversation and have that eye to eye contact and to be able to share equally as nice. But I'm like, okay, Alexis, you need to shut up way more in that. That's funny. I've started to learn that a little bit too. That's like it's so great to have you on because it's a good thing to be, you know, a guest on a podcast and you're able to like tell me all these things. I'm like just sitting here like, uh-huh, uh-huh. Because I've learned that too that I actually, it's so nice to sit back and just listen and it's good for the listeners

too because we want to hear your story and how you got to where you are. Okay, you've probably heard a lot of people talk about how crucial their morning routine is to setting the tone for the day, whether that's, you know, waking up early, setting the goals for the day, exercising, meditating. I do my five-minute gratitude journal or anything other routines that they do to, you know, get in the right mood. But not everyone has the time to do all the things every day that you need to. And with hydrant, you can jump start your mornings. Hydrin is a company that's created flavored electrolyte packets that are so delicious and refreshing. You just mix them directly into your water to efficiently and effectively hydrate your body. Super easy, super convenient. Each rapid hydration

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Like, I really, I love, I love all of it. Like, I love writing. I love, I love counseling. Like, I do group women's counseling. I also work as a birth doula for sexual abuse survivors that as like a passion hobby of mine. And I love all of the work I do. The podcasting space is just, I feel like Lauren, my friend Lauren puts us perfectly, you've probably done the skinny confidential. Yeah, I love Lauren. Yeah. So she goes, podcasting is you bringing value into people. lives for free in a way that they can like listen wherever they are they don't have to stop and watch a video and so I love that I get to be a part of people's Monday mornings on their drive to work like such a gift you know that I get and at the end of every episode I do an affirmation

for people to carry on into their week with and yeah I just I love being able to create like I said this community which is just grown so quickly now And I just love it. Like I love it. I love getting the message of someone's like, I heard this in this episode and can you clarify that? Or, oh, my God, I so resonated to your guest when they said X, Y, or Z. I mean, like, it's so nice to have that. Yeah.

Well, because it's important work you're doing. It's like really valuable. And so that I think a lot of people that are out there that have experienced things are always so afraid to come forward. and you know share their story or or share what's happened to them because like you said it took you time to even you know was it into your sobriety that you is that what you said about talking about um like sexual abuse and those kinds of things to come forward and talk about these things and to have a community and and a podcast and a book and these you know you've done all of your work to have something like that to come to is so important for those kinds of people yeah yeah

I just want people to know that, you know, they're not alone in their loneliness and that they can be free. Like, today I went on a live and I don't know how much more time you want to listen to me talk. Oh, because I did, you just keep going. But I was, I went on there because I get these streams of consciousness, like just these thoughts. And I'm like, oh, my God, I've got to get on live and talk about this. And I'm not religious. I'm very spiritual, but I'm like a very, I'm a Buddhist, but I love Jesus. this like Jesus is my man love him right like the real Jesus brown skin middle eastern

jew not your white savior um and so um but we just passed Easter right I don't know when this is going to come out so who knows I actually don't know either but um I was thinking you know the the Judah's kiss right like the kiss of death like all all of this chaos that's happening in our lives right now we're we're experiencing it all at once loved ones are in the ICU we're worried about getting sick ourselves people are dying and we're not able to have funeral services for them people are losing their jobs millions and millions of people fathers not knowing how they're going to support their families and mothers and houses that are going to go into foreclosures and it feels like we're getting hit all at once right and I had people

imagine it's like this kiss of death and we just keep eating knock down knock down not down and um you know there's there's going to be parts of us right now that are going to die that have to die like old ways of thinking old ways of operating it's no longer sustainable and so i always look at like all of the experiences that i've been hit with i feel like i'm whack-a-mole my whole life like every time i get back up from the ground i get whacked over the head again it's just been non-stop, even in my recovery. I mean, I've had blood clots in my lungs. I've had lots of really challenging things. Friends of mine who have committed suicide, miscarriage. I've experienced lots of hardship in sobriety. So it feels like these kisses of death, like I'm just getting

hit over the head again and again and again. And each time I recognize now that that was like the death and the rebirth, like old parts of Alexis that were really dying and then giving birth to a new Alexis. And I imagine like Jesus on the third day, and I'm sorry if you're not religious, like pushing out those stones. And people are like, how could you lift a boulder? How could you possibly lift a boulder? Well, my boulder was being raped at five, having a dad that was abusive, parents that were divorced, constant trauma. near life death experiences being held at gunpoint raped again at 17 all of these things I'd been through those are my boulders people go how do you how do you lift those boulders right and

shine your light and live again and I'm just here to tell you that like it's so possible it is it's so possible and you deserve it yeah you deserve it every it's you're you deserve it every it's your birthright just because you were born, just because you're here and for no other reason. You don't have to become the Alexis that was addicted to drugs being ripped apart on national television all the time that was in the throes of her addiction. That was for all intents and purposes, a piece of shit was just as worthy of love and respect and dignity as the woman who's sitting in front of you today, period. it. And so if you feel like you're the worst and you're harming other people and harming

yourself and that you'll never get out of it, you can lift those boulders. I'm just here to tell you it's totally possible. It's totally possible. How do you not feel defeated each time that you go through something hard? Like maybe I'm a person who has a bit of a pity party over small things and shame on me for that but like when you go through such trauma how do you not feel defeated that something's going to happen again i do so it's about um so first of all just because i have the perspective going back to what i was just saying because i left out this part when jesus was on the cross with two of their people next to him that I believe were there for stealing coincidentally one was focused on the future like what's going to happen to us and one was focused

on the past like oh my god what I have done and God was and Jesus was saying right there because he was communicating with his higher power and he was saying like heaven is available to us all right now if we can be really present and so how I don't get defeated is by staying present and by doing and having the tools that I have now to process through my pain and suffering. And that's where my Buddhism comes in, right? Like the world is full of suffering. Like we are going to suffer as we're having this human experience. It's about being okay in the suffering. And I think that's one of the biggest things that I had to learn in early sobriety was I constantly was trying to make myself feel better with whatever I could get.

Sex, drugs, gambling, whatever it was, alcohol, partying, nightclubs, men, shopping, working out, whatever it is. And you're filling a void that's unfillable, essentially. And so it's about coming to terms with the fact that we're going to suffer, how long we suffer is up to you. So I don't suffer for very long anymore, you know, I used to suffer for a long time. And I would get to the point of where I was in like periods and episodes of suicidal depression, my suffering became so great in sobriety. And so there are stages of healing, stages of grief. All of them are normal. Anger, sadness, rage, that's of happiness. and then sadness again. All of those things are normal, so you have to have grace with yourself.

And then ultimately in my spiritual path now, it's that I know that every single heart that has come my way thus far, I've always been divinely guided and taken care of, period. I have. And if you knew my personal circumstances right now, you wanted a confession, right? Yes, here we go. I was going to give you something really, really juicy, like sexy. Like maybe we could go there later still, but right now I'll say this. If you knew my circumstances right now, you would go, holy shit Alexis, how are you so calm?

Someone very close to me, close to my community, committed suicide and overdosed and died. My treatment center is falling apart right now because of COVID. we have employees who have COVID we are trying to get by day by day my husband and I live paycheck to paycheck still we still live paycheck to paycheck because two years ago in the wolsey fire 100% of our well 99.9% of our business burned down in the fires five of our houses my grandfather committed suicide 18 months ago like if you saw my I'm dealing with like physical health problems right now. If you actually got a peak and I just lost a major trademark lawsuit, which I can't even go into because they'll sue me again. Because I don't have enough money.

The company was like a bazillion dollar company. And I'm going to have to change the name of my treatment center. And like it feels like for everybody else would be like you're suffocating, like you're drowning. Like how are you doing this? And it's this piece. that still, like, nothing can take away my peace because in this present moment, I'm breathing, I'm alive, I'm connected to God, like, there are thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of people who are out there that need this work that I'm providing. Like, I don't have to worry about the money. I've always been taken care of and always will be taking care of.

And so even though my external reality, very much so looks like it's falling apart, I have $4,000 in my checking account right now. My mortgage was not paid this month, okay? As we're trying to figure out how to pay our employees when all of our clients left when COVID happened, and we have a million dollars a month of overhead at our treatment center. Okay, so you're going, how the, all of my savings was gone after the Wolsey fire because I had to live on my savings to save my business.

So it wasn't a very juicy confession. no that's okay I just want people to know that this is my real life I don't make much money off of my podcast my download numbers are huge I just got picked up with a network everything's gonna be okay my book makes money but I had to spend

$30,000 to write it yeah it hasn't not made me any money back yet like it just came out in November so many people do think that you know they know from the outside looking in yeah that you know my circumstances, you do not know my circumstances. And at the same time, I'm in a better position than many. And every single morning when I open my eyes, the first thing I say is, thank you, God. Thank you for one more day. Thank you for one more day to be of service.

Thank you for allowing me to continue to heal people. Thank you for allowing me to continue to do this work. Thank you for my healthy kids. It's a shit. in your perspective that changes everything. And then anything that comes up that feels chaotic and anxiety, put my essential oils on, grab my journal, write it out, word vomit on paper, and it's gone. And then like, I don't have to do it anymore. And then when I'm on the phone with my like coaching clients and I'm doing whatever I'm doing, all of my own stuff is out. And I just get to channel my energy from the universe and feel really rooted and supported and do my work and I go to bed tonight and like everything's okay so so there's my confessional you're you are

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Hey, that was a joke if you're an idiot. Spencer, you spoiled brat, your life is amazing. Get new episodes every Monday on Spotify, Podcast 1, and Apple Podcasts. mom i got you now back to off the vine grape therapy to me nine years is a long time but i know for a fact so my dad has been sober i think 30 years and he quit smoking uh almost five years ago and he says not with drinking anymore but smoking and certain things like he says it's still it's a daily thing to not want to go back or have urges. Now, I'm sure it's, I mean, his was just cigarettes,

but those other things that you were doing were much stronger than that. And with all the chaos that can happen to you, do you ever even think about that? Or is it just like so far from your brain now that you just don't go there? I think people are going to be really shocked to say that, like, I do believe that we can and do recover.

There have been so many moments. I've had multiple surgeries in recovery. I've had to take opiates after my C-section. Yeah. When I had those blood clots in my lungs, all of those things. Never once have I gone. I need to get loaded. And again, I think it just goes back to where, like, being in my body and being in my reality and just feeling alive for me, it feels so much better than being checked out.

And I have so much fun. Like right now, usually I would be artist passes at Coachella staying at my favorite spot. I won't say, in hotel, I won't say the name because it's my hidden spot in Palm Square. If you want to know the name, I'll let you know. But last year is pretty fun. Like Diplow was doing like a private, like little small get together at like the hot springs and it would be like so nice.

And in a couple of weeks, I'd be going to Cabo and my girlfriend is married to like a rock star. we get to go to like the best concerts like my life is like so good and it and you don't have to have any of those things for your life to be good for you to not want to get loaded anymore i just that's a gift i don't know if it's because i got sober so young or what like i never think like oh a glass of wine or a bong rip would like fix this experience right now yeah even yeah instead i'm like okay you know calling my therapist or calling a girlfriend or drinking a cambucha. I have lots of friends. I keep wine in my house. People are all shocked. They're like, you keep alcohol in your house. That's like insane. I'm like, yeah, because my girlfriend

who has twin boys that are my daughter's age, runs to my house every once in a while. And she's like, pour me a glass of wine. Grab your cambucho. Let's go sit in the backyard and listen to the waterfall and like have some time. So I just know that like, first of all, drugs weren't my problem. I was my problem. Like the drugs were the solution to my problem and it's a solution that no longer worked for me that's not going to work for me anymore. And it's just not a thing. And for other people that, you know, have been in your position or like don't even know where to go or where to start, what is your advice to them? Like I said before, that you're so worthy and that there's options for you. And people DM me every single day and they need

help or their sibling needs help or their mom needs help or their cousin needs help. I always do my best to place people. You deserve treatment. You deserve a better life. If A.A. is not for you, that's okay. There's other options. I don't even go to A.A. anymore. I haven't for years. So, you know, it's with the way that addiction is right now and the way that the drugs are, you will die. It is just a matter of time. We are seeing people drop like flies in the last decade, half a million people died. In the month of March alone, we had over 3,300 overdoses in the United States. This is an epidemic that is happening every single day and every single section of this country. And we could no longer pretend that it's not. And so like I said, just like I'm deserving

of healing you're deserving of healing and there are people out here who want to support you and that want to help you on that path yeah and and i know you have like the podcast in the book in your center so when they if they need to come to you you said you'll answer dms or like is there a spot that they should go or like where you have everything there well you can always dm me on instagram um i think that that's always the best just because certain places take certain insurance and so i'll know like if we don't take your insurance i'll put you in another place that does take your insurance like i'm not giving up until like we get you situated and so um and it's also i hate it's really sad to say this but there's so many bad actors in this

field now um we just helped get five places in los angeles shut down these people are now Now patient brokering, they're paying addicts to go relapse so that way they get pushed back up into detox. It's what is happening in this industry is so shady. They've been shutting down facilities in Florida, Orange County and Los Angeles. It's a field that definitely needs more regulation. You know, we have every single certification that you can, but not all are like have to do that. we're just in a it's a very weird and like scary thing to navigate and so um yeah i just

without getting myself into trouble because i like don't i'm not naming names but there are a lot of places that are just really sketchy wow and um it's called patient brokering if anyone wants to look it up it's pretty freaky that's that i wouldn't even even thought you know that something like that could be going on I know it really happened after Obamacare passed. So Obamacare was such an amazing thing because we weren't able to take so many people because nobody had health insurance or if they did go to treatment, they would get kicked off their health insurance and yada, yada, yada.

And when Obamacare passed, all of a sudden, everybody had access to mental health and addiction services. And so all of these greedy people jumped in and were like, oh, we can make $1,000 a day per person taking insurance and doing this. But, you know, the insurance runs out after 30 days. So what do we do after that? Oh, well, we pay them to go get loaded. So that way we have to kick them back up to, you know, and they'll pay people to come

to their treatment center. They'll lie to say that they'll cover their deductibles, which is completely illegal. And they just get them trapped on drugs, basically, on an endless cycle. of rinse and repeat of relapse and come back and relapse and come back. I don't even understand. Like that's sickening. How do you even sleep at night being that kind of human being? I don't know.

How does our president sleep at night? We will never know the answer to that, ever. I think he must. Well, first of all, he doesn't because he tweets until 5 a.m. I think he's probably on like a lot of Adderall. And maybe it takes like an ambient to like not. out for four hours and like starts again i don't know how he does it i don't know either i don't even i don't even want to know like i just can't even go there um i have a question about reality tv now like you said

earlier that you know you you'll throw on some trash tv sometimes like do you like don't you have such a different perspective now or are you able to enjoy it for what it is yeah so yeah there's there's really only one reality tv two yeah that i can watch The rest I know are fake. Like, I can't watch the Kardashians. I know it's all fake. Like, I know how they operate. And, oh, my God.

I just, I want to have you on the podcast just so we can dish about our reality TV experiences so I can hear about, like, what The Bachelor people did to you. I don't know if you can ever even say that. I've been very honest with that. Okay. So, big fan of The Bachelor. I only got into it like four seasons ago. So I'm like a Bachelor newbie.

Yeah. But Paradise is like, everything everything i love the whole thing i was so disappointed in this the last two seasons honestly uh i i even though i'm friends with them i agree yeah like hannah's season i just i couldn't even watch it um i just i couldn't and then i committed to watching peter's season because my he grew up in my hometown oh yeah yeah my sister knows him and um and so and it was just so hard to watch. I just, I could not. I did it, but I just, it was painful. Yeah. Um, and so, and then I had hope that with the newest bachelorette remind me her name, because I did not see

her season. That was way before I started. Claire. Okay, that they're going to get in these older guys, but then I heard that they didn't, which really disappointed me because I, I, I, first of all, what, how can I say this without sounding like an idiot? I got married at 21. I've been married for eight years really happily. But the fact that all of these people are like, I'm looking for the love of my life, and I'm like 23, and like I'm an influencer and I'm like, I know. It's hard for me to understand that too because even though you have been happily married since you're 21, like it's very rare.

Very rare. And my husband's 15 years older than I am. Oh, he is? Yeah. He's 45 and I'm about to be 29. so it works for us but um yeah i so i was really hoping with claire's season that they would have these 32 plus i think they're going to recast though because because they can't bring these guys on now because step got leaked and she could you know like it just wouldn't work out and so i think

they're recasting for her season and i think they're going to pick older men It makes me hopeful because I feel like the next bachelor should be at 35, 34, 35 would be a good. And then the girls should be 26 and up. Yeah. See, that was what my season was. My bachelor was 30. Farmer, Chris, he, yeah, Chris Soles, he was a farmer. And he was 33 and I was 28, turning 29.

And I feel like that was like around the age And then same thing I became the bachelor's when I was 28 20 no I was 29 I didn't even know that you were the bachelorette see this is how like this is how new I am but now I'm hooked I didn't know about your meltdown either now I'm hooked I like love it I'm like all I'm all in But then the last two seasons I was kind of like and then I was really hoping for paradise and I won on Taylor She was also a bachelor girl for a podcast and she was saying that you know she wanted to maybe return to to Paradise and I was like so excited and I was like maybe she will maybe she won't who knows well there still might be a I don't know what's going to happen I don't think there's going to

no I don't think there's going to be no I don't think I don't know what's going to happen so so we'll see but okay so I love the bachelor um and then I love like the TLC reality shows like 90s fiancee and like yeah it's like the hoarders and like the crap like that oh and you you know what I just got back into, actually. I stopped watching the Real Housewives franchise with Beverly Hills because Kim Richard's sister was so clearly addicted and sick. And I just felt like they were profiting off of her. And it was gross.

And I was like, I can't watch us anymore. But then Danny Pellegrino came on my podcast and he has a podcast, everything iconic. And he goes, you just have to recommit to Real Housewives of New York. You don't have to watch any other franchise. Caitlin, I cannot stop. I cannot. I am three seasons in already. Oh my gosh.

That's amazing. I've never watched a season of Real Housewives. Okay. So if you ever do, start at like season six of Real Housewives of New York. Okay. It's very entertaining. And you can tell that it's not scripted. Like they don't even set up these things.

These women are literally this. crazy and chaotic and it's everything. Oh, okay. Good to know. It's good to hear someone else that's been on reality TV their perspective because I thought it was maybe scripted or staged. I mean, I knew Kardashians was. I think other franchises might be just because shit gets real stale real quick, but these women are so crazy. Okay, well, I'll have to, I'll have to get into that one. I'm not against it. I mean, I've got free time at nights now where I'm not traveling or like needing to sleep to get up or something. So I'll get into that. It's pretty great. And then I'll come on your podcast and we can talk all things reality TV. We should do that. That would be really

great. I think that everyone would really love to hear our experiences behind the scenes because I think a lot of people don't realize what you subject yourself to in that experience. No. And one of my least favorite things in the world is when people say you signed up for this and I'm like I did not know what I was signing up for period no idea nothing can prepare you for the chaos of that experience and so how long ago was your experience on how long ago was that now it aired in 2010 so was there like oh so there was Facebook was there like I feel like the media I didn't have Instagram. That's a whole other layer that you guys had. So this was back in the days where like TMZ would stick cameras up your skirt and they wouldn't care. But you didn't have Instagram.

So I mean, it mattered because like you, it would be on in touch. But like it's not the same. I feel like it would have been harder than though because you have a voice with social media where you didn't have a voice with the tabloids and other things that were running all these stories. you weren't able to like go on your own platform and say actually here's what happened yeah but I was in no condition to do that because everything they were saying is true there was pictures of me that came out of me smoking a bong and like smoking heroin off tinfoil that came out on the dirty do you remember the dirty oh yeah richie used to rip me to shreds every single week and like what am I going to say like no that's not me

smoking heroin like no that was that that was smoking heroin it's Perez Hilton did he rip you apart yes and you know what we just made up on Twitter it just did their day so shout out to Perez that's great because I feel like he did turn a corner after Ellen DeGeneres like called him out and and oh I didn't know about that yeah because he used to be really nasty and mean but he did if you look up Alexis if you look me up on his website he puts like barf like he like pretend like drew barf and stuff all over my face because like i was drunk or whatever and you know whatever whatever it wasn't that's yeah wasn't great it it feels like you had heavier things though to be carrying than you know i know i was in total

denial back then too which was like i think it just made everything a lot a lot worse but like production just one of the examples is they figured out that I was using drugs and they hid one of their dogs pills who had just had surgery in my bathroom and then told my mom to go look and then she confronted me with the cameras rolling like what are these drugs like what drugs are you on and I'm like what the like those aren't my drugs like so stuff like that would happen God that is so nasty. Ooh, that makes me angry. That's like, especially with what state that they can, you know, people are in and to take advantage of that. I don't like that at all. That really bugs. It was yucky, but yeah. Well, it all, you know, has had, I don't want to say make sense or, you know,

like, but it's all served a purpose in your life of where you're at now. And I just, I thank you so much for sharing your story on, on this platform. I really would actually love to do a part too with you just because I could continue to ask questions and talk and like I want to know more about like motherhood for you and and your relationship and everything else that you've got going on. But I thank you so much for opening up and being honest. And I think that's, well, everyone knows that's one of my favorite things in the world is when people are open books and vulnerable and able to share stuff that they've gone through and especially with how much you can help now. Yeah. I mean, I always do this at the end of every podcast, but it always feels so

silly and cheesy to say, but where can people find you? I do the same online. Okay. Because not everybody reads the show notes. Right. They don't. They're just listening. So if you want to follow me on Instagram, it's at it's Alexis Haynes.

If you want to follow the podcast Instagram at that, we're covering from reality. We're covering from reality is available wherever you listen to your podcast. My book is available on Amazon. And just because I'm so committed to everybody doing this work, I drop the price of my Life Reset course, which you can access on my website, Recovering from Reality.com, from $500 a month to $39. Holy. Mm-hmm.

That's great. So just because I want everybody to have access to it, and it was just such like a big ass for every, you know, not everybody has that kind of money. And I totally get it. But everybody deserves to do this work and to have support. And I think that's really like. important and kind of you in this time because I think a lot of people who do struggle with addiction in like to anything could be really struggling while they're at home all day, you know,

or going through tough times. So that would be a really necessary tool to have from you. Not only that, but I just feel like in this time we're being called to like level up in our lives. Like now is the time. If you're ready to do like the deep soul searching work, like this is the time. You have you have the space. Literally, this is the perfect time. Yeah, absolutely. And use it and you have the tools to help. So thank you so much for being on the podcast.

And then I cannot wait to talk to you again. Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday. And check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday

exclusively on podcast one.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV?