Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Authentic, Real, Raw conversation with Olivia Caridi

Episode Date: January 31, 2019

Kaitlyn and fellow bachelor alum Olivia Caridi have a great conversation about how their moms have gotten better with age, Kaitlyn's trip to the casino ending with a nice sea food dinner, and a deep dive into the mind and social media following habits of men. Bouqs - check out Bouqs.com and enter code VINE for 20% off Brandless - Go to Brandless.com and enter code VINE for $10 off first orders over $50 AND free shipping See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your questions. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Grape Therapy. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Now I'm going to be really drunk.

I've got Olivia, who's a little buzzed up because you just did a podcast. I just did a podcast with Jason for an hour. So I'm pretty drunk at this point. Let's get weird. And you know what? I'm not. So let me pour. This wine is good that he has.

What is this? He left me with one sip of wine. Do you want the white? No. I'll drink this. This is a Solillon Blanc. This is a different salmione on though. It's Josh.

A lot of people want to know every time I start a podcast what kind of wine I am drinking. And I will say this one's Josh Pino Noir. And what are you drinking? This is a Josh Sauvignon Blanc. Solvian Blanc. Solvian Blanc. I have a funny story. When I got off the season of The Bachelorette, one of my girlfriends, bless her heart.

She's a little bit of a space cadet. And she'll admit that. It's hilarious. She's actually brilliant, but socially just like a little bit of a space cadet. And she goes, I brought you a bottle of Josh because you didn't have one of those on your season. And I had two Josh's. on my season. Oh.

Josh Albers. Yeah. And Josh. Bless his soul. I love that guy. And then that's Josh who I don't even want to acknowledge him because he went home night one and he like really tried to get some attention out of it. Yeah. By the way, my mom loves Pino Grigio, but she calls it penis greas.

Amazing. Now I will recycle that. Every restaurant. Can I have a penis greggis? She says it at restaurants. The last restaurant I went to. My sister wrote my number. down on the tab yeah and we've we texted for like a minute there but she she was like can I

have a penis gracious and the guy the reason I was like he's kind of hot is because he like put up with it he was like you know fuck yeah okay you can have a penis and you can have and you can have and you have a penis that I would like to go on a day with so anyway that's that's that's really funny I just I still can't believe I haven't met your mom or or people have been requesting by the way um anytime i post a video of my mother yeah the first comment i get is how has mr how is mrs bristow and mrs caridi yeah not been on a podcast together right because that would be too much they are one of a kind yeah um but two of a kind that would be a lot i don't know that would be a lot they're like two crazy peas in a crazy pod my i wish did you ever

look at your mom and think like i wish i was as cool as her yeah oh yeah oh yeah Yeah. I do that on the reg. My mom is the coolest person I know. Yeah. Like just reeks of confidence. But, like, she's, I don't even know, 50 something now. And you don't know how old your mom is? She's, why is that so funny to me? 50, six, I think. Mom? She's young.

Mom, help. Oh, you're young. But she's hotter than she's ever been. Yeah. Like, her body, yeah. I actually had to talk to her the other day. I was like, mom, you're getting too fit. Really?

Yeah. Like, it's embarrassing to be around someone as hot as you. Wow. Anyway, yeah, that's where we're at. What's her, what's her secret? She eats like a mouse. Okay. She eats, but like a little mouse.

She drinks wine. Yeah. Maybe. And she works out like a fiend. She loves Pilates. Oh, yeah, Pilates. Our trainer, we have a, like, a family trainer who, who just texts her and says, let's train. And so she does weight training.

Oh, amazing. But, like, she is the, this is what gives me hope is my mom had, I got my mom's body. Yeah. Like bigger legs. But, like, this gives me hope that when I'm 50, I will be hotter than I am right now. You know what? I think I keep getting better with age. You do.

I don't know if that's a confidence thing and a self-love thing. It is a mix of. Or if it's actually, or if it's not eating meat that's just doing me wonders. Is that, I don't eat meat either. But I don't look like you. Well, I don't look like you either. And that's, that's okay. That's the beauty of it.

Yeah, that's the beauty of it. I haven't had meat in about a year. which is so crazy for me because I never thought I was zero yeah no not even a bite I never thought I would do that but um in New York when I lived there last year I was like I'll try it and see how it makes me feel three weeks in I felt amazing and I can't give up fish because sushi is like my favorite thing in the world okay I can't give up cheese so I can't like I'll try to eat a more plant based diet because it makes me feel good and I kind of like a dibble dabble and whatever Yeah, I'm just trying to keep the gear tight.

You're kind of vegan, kind of pescatarian. I don't think you can say kind of vegan. That's a touchy subject for people. Oh, edit timestamp. Oh, no, no, no. It's funny because you're like, yeah, I'm vegan. I'm wearing like a leather hat right now, so really I can't. Is that true leather?

No, it's not. But you know what I mean. It's so sexy, though. It's great. It's a gangster hat, but it is very gangster. It's so funny because every, no, every time. The last two times I've podcast with you, one being today. I feel so bad that people have to put up

with me. I've been on too much lately. No, you haven't. No, people can't get enough, Olivia. No. I don't believe that. No, they can't. And, and I seem to be sick every time. I'm like, I woke up this morning. And you are a lot better than you were last time. So I don't have to completely take over your podcast. I woke up this morning. I was like, you've got to be kidding me that I'm sick again. I think it's because I went to the casino the other night and people still smoke in casinos. Ew. Which is the grossest thing in the world. I walked in. I'm like I'm a, I actually do like a little gamble here and there.

I, you guys, you and Jason have been killed in the gamble game. Jason's very good at, um, well, gambling in general, but blackjack, because he, you know, he's a numbers guy. And so I can play blackjack, but he really taught me some, some things. Yeah. We won 800 bucks and like, are you kidding me? No. That's so much money.

I wouldn't even know what to do with it. I, I, I, what would you do with 800 bucks right now if you could? Can I tell you what we did with it? What did you do? We went for a really good seafood dinner at Snowquam. me yes and we had a seafood tower and a really nice cheese plate and a nice bottle of wine and we just kind of treated ourselves what i would do what would you do with eight hundred dollars right now yeah um i would buy a chinese crested dog oh he would i would buy another hairless dog oh okay

i love them so much i would do i would do anything um i'm single like what am i going to do by myself a pair of i always feel like i'm supposed to say like i always feel like i'm supposed to say like I would donate it to charity. Oh, yes, I would quickly, quickly donate it to the local Chinese Crested charity. There you go. Is that a thing? It is now. No, I feel bad.

The last time I did a podcast with you, some people were like, Olivia talked too much. Oh, I asked you to. Well, but I was sick. I know, but people still thought I talked too much. People said that? Yeah. Well, they were like, Olivia, every time Olivia talks, she talks too much. I get it.

I'm going to let Caitlin take over. It's her podcast. No, I actually love having you on because you are capable of talking and keeping the conversation. Because you were like on your, you were dying. Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to, sorry. And before we started, I asked you to do that.

Yeah, we should have put that on. It was on the record. Yeah. I was asked. We did say it on the record. So people, you know what, Olivia. Roll the tapes. I've learned that you can sneeze.

And you'll piss someone off. And you'll piss somebody off. What's that saying? You could be the right. peach and there's still somebody who doesn't like peaches yeah it's so true okay one second i i feel like valentine's day can be brutal on guys the pressure to buy the perfect gift is intense right let me help you out flowers are always the right call but not produce department flowers that smell like green onions the same was sending a stale flowers plus an upsell balloon from some flower giant website

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Go to Bookes.com and enter Vine for 20% off. Yeah, 20% off when you enter Vine at bookes.com, B-O-U-Q-S dot com. So life is good. We're here. We're going to talk about The Bachelor. We're going to try. This episode was honestly, it's going to be hard to talk about it without offending a lot of people. Yeah, for many different reasons.

I just find. So far, what are your thoughts on this season? Let's just round it up. I don't know if I say this every season. Like, I don't know if every season, I'm like, oh, I can't this season. And it's always the beginning. And then you get into it. And then you start being invested in the love stories.

And by the end, you're like, you're into it. But you really got to commit through the bullshit at the first few episodes. Yeah. Because this whole demi thing, I mean, again, I'm, I am one to appreciate good TV and entertainment and be like, okay. But it's just not good TV anymore. Like, I'm like, this episode, I was like, nah, I'll be. honest and and this episode previous episode this whole season it seems a lot more and maybe it's just demi i don't know because i'm a former villain yeah i was i still think i was one of the most

epic villains of all time you were and i did not try no okay that's the thing people are trying to be the villain is trying to be the villain whereas i looked horrible right and i wasn't even trying Imagine if I was trying. Right. So I just, I, this show is great and I don't like it when it starts to seem like it is manufactured to be great. Right. And that's, I actually did a TEDx talk. And I said that.

I said reality TV has become more of like manufactured television. You know, they cast for the dramatic effect and they have the reasons why people come on there. Demi wants to be the villain. to be and it's too obvious to me it's so obvious like it's too transparent I'm like we get it you're the villain I mean even even someone like Corinne yeah for example who was you know she seemed sometimes manufactured but this girl to me that's just how she is right so it the whole like nanny thing and all that stuff and the naps and all that it still seemed like funny because there were parts of her personality that were there.

Right. It was kind of genuine. It was sort of, which, I mean, you could say the same for me. Like, it was a little genuine. Yeah. Okay, whatever. But Demi, it just seems like none of it is genuine. Right.

I would love to actually see what she's like in real life because I bet she's a sweetheart. I bet she is too. Yeah. Because majority of the time, I've met almost every villain. And mine is Chad Johnson. I've loved every single one of them. Who, by the way, is dating Kendra Wilkinson? Have you heard?

Have you heard? What is that? about it's a it's it's publicity yeah you think so right it's gotta be he doesn't want a girlfriend well and why i mean what is it about him that seems like a good fit for her and her family like you know so is it publicity but what are they gaining from that just like just attention well a him for sure yeah but what does she get from um i don't my worry i've podcasted with her before you have met her yeah she was on my podcast. I think she's fantastic. My worry is that he's like, he's duping her. Right. But don't you think she's better than that? Like, do you think she's awesome? I loved her. Yeah. Like, she, we, I got her on my podcast

because I was connected with marriage boot camp. Yeah. And that's when her and Hank were still on it. I think they're divorced now. But, um, well, I'd hope so. She's holding hands of Chach. One good hope. They might be going through the divorce. I don't know. But anyway, She was so sweet, and I adored her, and I hope that she doesn't fall for the Chad Trap because, you know, maybe it's just fun for her. A fun little fling right now. That don't make you bad people. I love a good fling. I love a good fling.

It's been 87 years since I've had one, but God, when I did, it was fun. Wait, let's go back to this. Speaking of your flings. What was Jason's suggestion for our topic? Because I was like, I really want to, you know, I usually do my grape therapy when the Bachelor bachelor bachelor is on. I usually do recaps. I'm trying to go through my notes.

Please take over your podcast. No. Please, for the love of God. No, are you kidding me? I'm going right back to this. But I'm thinking, I'm like trying to look at my notes. And I don't know why. And I think maybe as the season goes on, I'll have more to talk about.

But right now, I'm just kind of like, eh. Like, I want to see more of Cassie. I think she seems cool. I hate that Cassie is crying a lot. Yeah. Because I just want her to be Cassie. Yeah. I don't feel like they're showing enough of her.

But that's, I, yeah. This, I hate watching The Bachelor right now. now. I would have hated it. I didn't watch my season, so I don't know what it was like to watch me. But I imagine everyone was like, this is, I'm done with this. Let's get the love part. Right. So I'm ready for that. I'm ready for like love. I'm actually into the like Jordan last year. I was like give me all the Jordan TV time. I love the first night. And then I like this date with Kalin was the first time I think on a one on one. I mean, this was the first episode where I felt like on the one-on-ones that there was real chemistry real real conversation yeah and that like

I finally am getting a love story yeah versus just uh group dates and and and I just felt like it was a real brave conversation a real conversation and I really like their chemistry here's here's what I'll say about the conversation without offending right a lot of people right um as someone who has often been a critiquer of reality television I've had so much wine as someone who's been a critic a critique or I'm going to you know what you know it enjoy that critique critiquer I'm probably going to recycle it thank you I feel like as we said so much of the show is manufactured right I love seeing conversations that remind me of real life right and I can't imagine having a conversation like

Kaelin had with Colton with cameras around. That would be so strange for me. But bravo to her for sharing something that this show is so big and has such a massive impact on so many people. There will be a lot of people that feel less alone from watching and can relate, can relate, can empathize on so many levels, men, women, everything. And bravo to ABC for air. something because sometimes I I get on ABC for you know diversity or for things that you know

they don't show enough they show just enough but not I think that was finally the first time where I felt like ABC took something and said let's let's air it right yeah I agree and and and and on that same note I also I was so over the Kalin um Hannah B drama over it that I was like this is going to keep going. They're going to be on the two-on-one. And still, maybe they will be. But I was so over it because I'm like, why can't these two just talk together and be like, look, maybe we're a little too similar. We come from the same backgrounds. We're competitive by nature. But let's come together, have an honest conversation and root for one another, even though we're in this weird, bizarre situation of dating the same guy. ABC kind of won me over this time. I will say for an episode that a few

times I was like oh gosh there were a couple big conversations that I think had an impact and for a show that oftentimes I feel like you are pitting women against each other right whether it was the girls wanting to have a conversation or whether it was right it was driven by producers um it was very cool to see two conversations that I felt were different than what has been aired previously I agree I mean if I think of there was never a moment where I felt like you know if I go back to my season or if you go back to your season with with the guys, if there were two people who disliked each other. So me and Emily Ferguson, there was never a time where we sat down and tried to air out our grievances. It was usually, let's amplify this drama. Right. And that's

what I felt they did last episode. And this one, I was like, thank you. Thank you for doing that. You never, you never see drama that is de-escalated. Right. And thank you for being with the times of like 2019. Thank you. We're two women. Yeah. Two beautiful. women want to just like stop freaking causing shit. Because that's all they needed was just one simple conversation to move forward. And like, and who knows if that's the end of it and if something's going to, you know, I don't know. If you know, let us know.

But I did enjoy that they had that moment. That's that. And then I'm trying to think of what else really happened in the episode. Oh, I really like Tasha. She was very sweet. Her and Colton had the one-on-one and they went bungee jumping and she just seems like a little nugget, sweetie pie, beautiful girl. Yeah, beautiful girl.

And I liked their connection. And I will say that he had a moment with Cassie on this episode where I was like, whoa, they seem like they've known each other for a long time. It's very comfortable. Even the last episode, it's funny the way things air. It was a group date. And he was saying it's cute, how awkward you are. And they were sitting against a window.

It's so funny to me, the points where you can see. see where stuff hasn't been aired because their connection was so much stronger than what it would be versus I don't know it's just it's it's there's so much that's not shown right and so I love seeing points where like yeah despite what we're seeing you can tell that they have a deeper connection you really can I feel that way with um and I don't know spoilers for the season so all I can see I don't I always try and guess from the romantic music from the connections. The music is everything. Yeah, the connections.

Everything. And right now I see his strongest connections with Hannah G. And Cassie and Kaelin. Tasha was cute. Tisha was very, very cute. Back to Demi. Oh, yeah, and Demi. Her whole mom getting out of jail thing.

Oh, boy. Now, I always wonder how much say the family has. in this you know like you put yourself out there you sign up for it but your family doesn't so i'm wondering if her mom was asked if if that was okay with her because you do want people you know if you're going to actually be serious about this guy you do want them to know everything about you so it's just so crazy to me to put something like she's like you know throwing one girl under the bus and then sharing a very deep it's just moment and then makes out with them i don't know what it is i would I would love to meet her in person because I hate I hate like judging it off of an edit

you know how much I hate that shit because people meet me and they're like who who are you right but it just seemed like I hate laughing at her reactions right I don't I don't like laughing at them but it's like when when you're given a certain character and then off off of this other character that just like you know it she probably in that that moment I would have loved this is the part of the show that drives me nuts I would have loved to have been in that moment right there yeah like how you know when she's crying and she's saying this is hard to talk about yeah was that believable right in that moment well because they don't maybe it's the music I know I don't know they have a way of of convincing you of what they want you to believe so I never it is so hard because you think you have this insight from being on the show but you still watch it as like a confused viewer like you really You really don't know. You still watch it and go, well, what's real? I hate because people like, I hate sounding jaded.

Katie. Oh, yeah, Katie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Katie, too. I like his connection with Katie. Yeah. I also think, here's what I think. I like Katie.

Yeah. And I think KERpa. Oh, KERpa's beautiful. Is a sleeper. Oh, what does that mean? He's sleeping on KERpa. What do you mean? We don't see a lot of KERPA.

Oh, so you think she might have a little. I like her. I do too. She's gorgeous. She is gorgeous. She's unique. Yeah. I don't know.

I think she's going to have like, um, like she's the silent thunder of the group. Like she's going to kind of blow up and be like a front runner soon because she seems great. What do I know? I'm just saying, um, I really like Kerpa. Yeah. And, and Katie. That's, those are my, those are my picks. I really like Kerpa.

Tasha. Yeah. Um, I don't really have a favorite right now. Cassie just seems cool. Here's the thing is like another funny aspect. of this whole show is social media. Like, I love Demi on social media. Oh, really?

Which obviously is like her in real life, you know, doing her tweets and stuff. So I like her in that respect, but, you know. Let me see. Demi. Please tell me her name is Demi not Lavato. Exactly. I like her in real life, which is why I'm like, This show confuses me so much.

Oh, interesting. Yeah. Where is she from? I have no idea. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, Demi, not LaVado. That's actually really funny. Oh, I wonder if, is she getting, um, is she getting trolled?

Probably. Yeah. I, like, I have so much PTSD that I don't like looking at people's, like, social media. This is how you know your young is when you put your age in your bio. Does she really have her, but I think it's because her, like, age has for whatever reason become such a big topic on this season. You know what I mean? Like with the, what we talked about on my podcast with your cougarness and then Demi.

Demi does a lot of, but, but like, you know, Charlene, who I love. I love Charlene. Has her podcast where she points out, or not her, God, we've done so much podcast. Her blog. blog, yeah, where she talks so much about kind of the frank and biting and stuff where it's like Demi might have been pushed into talking about age and then it's, you know, so I'm not saying Demi as an ageist, but its age has become such a big topic. I'm not going to lie.

When she says stuff like that, I know it's probably like heavily like encouraged. But I'm like, but I want to throw a chopper so hard. I'm like, I am 33 and in the, like, I feel like I'm in my. prime i've heard that when you i've heard that when you hit your 30s that is when life starts that's why i'm so frustrated that i'm not 30 well i mean just take your time enjoy 30s but yeah 30 was definitely like i i loved 30 i loved 30 but i always just laugh when when they make comments about like the cougar because i'm like what defines being a cougar is that mean you're older than your man or is it an age fundamentally i think the definition of a cougar google it by basic

I actually know. Oh, okay. By basic definition of a cougar is a woman who is dating a younger man. Oh, okay. That's so, so cougar could, even if like someone was 33 and the other person was 32, you're a cougar? I think, no. I think a cougar is someone who. So there is a year.

By my definition or what I understand it to be, maybe you're like three, four, five years older. Okay. But three, four, five. So that's three, four, five. so I am a cougar is what you're getting at you're trying to politely tell me I'm a cougar absolutely not a three I think okay four or five six right there you go thank you go yeah no I'll take the cougar label I think it's kind of like I think it's hot well I wish I was a cougar in in college so there you go my who's to say that a cougar is a bad thing I loved being older than my serious boyfriend I absolutely

loved it you've got life experience um and and I think think if if you don't see it and you don't feel it and it's not obvious then it's not like I dated someone recently who is nine years older than me yeah and I felt it yeah and that's when I was like this is not going to work but for if you don't feel it then it's just all the in the person too right like I've I've dated older and younger and it's the sometimes the younger ones have been more mature than the older ones and it's just all based on the person I think It really is as I learn the hard way as I go. Hey guys, so when it comes to choosing a product that's better than the rest, there's only one label that matters, brandless.

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Alexa isn't the only one with breaking news. Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute. Hey, guys, if you like my show, then you're going to love Heather DeBrow's World on Podcast One. The former Real Housewife of Orange County turned bestselling author is coming at you two times a week to share her stories about life and family and chats it up with some fabulous guests over some champs.

You don't want to miss a second of it. Check out Heather Dubrow's World every Thursday and Friday on Podcast One or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Now back to Off the Vibe, Grape Therapy. I was going to talk about a fling. Oh, shit. You can bleep, beep that name out. Beat that name out.

But I was like, wait, you're not getting away without talking about this. Because we went, when we were in Denver, you thought you had a fling with somebody. Why does this happen to you? I don't. Well, okay. When I was in Denver two times ago with Brandy, I don't know if I talked about that was on my podcast, but I hit it off with, uh one of the guys who was on the trip yeah and he ended up kind of skiing with me the whole day and we post we only spent one full day you have to talk about this yeah we do we only spent one full day

together yeah but the whole time i mean i could tell he was into me brandy was like the minute he saw you he lit up things like that well your gorge well whatever and of the great personality you know i don't yeah regardless so um we had each other's numbers we texted for three weeks pretty consistently he called me a lot we we talked he you know i know he was flirting with me yeah it's been a while but i know you know with me so um i get to denver which coincided with kately and jason's first aid and there was a there was a lot going on but um we were kind of dabbling on going to veil or not and i decided to go because i wanted to see this guy and um this is what's so uh it's so frustrating to me we get there and and uh from the get

no wait no you're skipping a very big part of this story what was the biggest red flag for you though when you did start talking to him this is what i want to discuss um so i i i think this is a big conversation big people are going to relate to this i almost wish jason was here to just kind of relate to a men's perspective. My friend was saying, look at his Instagram. Let's look at his Instagram. So just to look at photos of him.

And she goes, who does he follow? And I was like, who cares who he follows? So I click on follow and I see, and I'm scrolling through. Tits McGee. And I'm seeing Tits McGee. He follows a lot of, which, by the way, if you're a hot ass woman and you, have big boobs and you are comfortable

being naked. My God, get it. I'm just, get it. I don't. But I do think it says a lot about who a guy follows on Instagram. Do you agree with that? Yeah, I really do. Because there's like,

I'm trying to say with this without offending anybody. There are those accounts that are, you know, borderline inappropriate porn star, I have an example. I have an example. My friend, Asa, Kira, is a porn star. Okay. Right. Not all of her photos are her naked. Yeah. But some of them are. And I love her and she's been on my podcast before. Oh yeah. I follow her literally. That probably looks weird that I follow her. But I don't know if I would want my boyfriend to follow her. Right. Or a guy that I'm, if I look at a guy and I'm like, okay, he's following Asa Kira. Okay. So he watches porn. He is interested, you know, like. But I mean, who does? There's a difference between liking or looking at something and following someone to me. But what was interesting to me was, you know, I never thought of it, really.

I have such a love-hate relationship with social media that I kind of didn't want to look at what he was doing. And then I was looking through and I kept seeing a lot of boobs and a lot of butt and a lot of, you know, abs. And it's not even, it's not even the boobs in the butt. it's that I don't look like this woman right and yeah I get what you're saying this is where we have to like always you know backtrack and navigate and because I we can all appreciate a gorgeous woman and her body she looks beautiful there are certain accounts that are questionable that sometimes I think aren't even those people you know they're just like they're straight up like nudies everywhere I honestly honestly there's nudies and then there's also just like guys I get

self-conscious. I dated a guy for a long time that it ended up going south because I kept you know swiping and seeing that he was liking yeah really hot chicks photos yeah and it just kind of got to me like I don't look like this person that you're liking and why are you liking this person but regardless we can go on forever about this topic but um he was following them yeah legit click follow like um it in that moment before i even got there i was already feeling kind of i don't know funny about it like before you got to see him the second time i knew i knew when i was going into vale when we were all in denver that he was following these people and so i was already kind of not even feeling weird about it

but i was just i don't know i was i have such body image shit and um i i i want I was already doubting it. He lives in Vail. Like it doesn't really map out that well. But I thought, okay, I'll try again. So we get there. And the lack of chemistry combined with the fact that he follows. And it's so funny because I talked about this on my podcast with Brandy that weekend while I was there.

I posed the question, would you be okay if a guy that you were dating liked these girls? Um, his roommate messaged me and it was like, it's so funny. He listened to the podcast and said, it's so funny that you bring this up. I listened to the podcast and I have warned him about this or I have said like, why are you, why do you like these? What's the point? What are you getting from it? Look, I understand the male need to look at naked girls. Sure.

I get it. Sure. Same as girls needing to, I don't know. I fully believe that women should watch porn as I've listened to. I just said earlier who doesn't watch it great who doesn't watch it so it's not the matter of like you watch it you envision it you look at it you like it it's following it is such a different I know why is that it's such a like a I get what you mean it makes me a little cringy I'm trying to understand why but I we should take a poll uh what do you guys comes out what do you guys think of this because yeah this is a real life thing I mean I this is not just this guy like I've dealt with this before, a guy liking girls' pictures and that's whatever, but it's so, it's so, like, I can't think of the word, but when you physically like and follow someone, right. And what's funny is he's since stopped. He did. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm

sure. I mean, you know, that's, I've had guys that I know friends of friends that have done the same thing. And sometimes I don't think they know that the level of creeping another person can do to see that you are following, that you are liking. I don't, I don't follow, you know, I don't follow those people. I do a really good job of, um, I know a lot of people, they don't want to see their ex doing something. They'll go looking for it. And I always like to call that shopping for pain. I never shop for pain. I don't either. I don't want to know. I didn't even look until someone said, yeah. Hey, see, I'm like, I don't go shopping for pain. I won't go look. who is following, who are commenting because I know I'll overthink it.

And I'm an overthinker. Right. And I'm not even an overthinker. And I will, I will overthink those kinds of situations. Do we look at who Jason follow? No, I don't want to. Can I? He follows like a thousand people.

He follows a lot of people. That's a lot of people. Like, the fact that this guy followed so few people, but also managed to follow like a bunch of big, breasted naked girls. I was like, yeah, right. That's probably not. That's not what I want. It is a little questionable, but I will say that, you know, we're also in a world where

people follow each other and, but Jason follows everyone. He follows everyone, which I, I can't believe he, like, he follows me. That's so nice of him because he's, I don't know, because he's so, like, popular and cool. Well, you know, it is what it is. But anyway, I don't know, that's, I don't, did we even find a response to what we just We're going to ask the peeps of off the vine. I would love to know what you guys think. Maybe it's just me because I have.

The thing that I kept thinking of, like, if you follow this person, you clearly are attracted to that person. And if that's what you expect someone that you're attracted to to look like, that's not me. I will play the devil's advocate here. Because I think certain men are just wired in a way where they like, you know, that is like, appealing to them. For example, I dated a guy who watched porn. Yeah. And it wasn't a problem. He just did once in a while. It's not a big deal. That's fine. But what he watched on porn was different than what he actually is attracted to. And what did he watch? Oh, he like really large breasted

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And can you like the same at the same time? Yes. And I will say we, I mean, I think growing up in a dance studio, I've got some body dysmorphia. I've had some body image issues. Mine, I have been told numerous times by men that I would be

more attractive if I, if I wasn't so skinny. Ew. And that's been an insecurity of mine and you know there's just you know you grew up in a dance studio you're in body suits every day comparing your body to the next girl over there's certain things but i will say that i have constantly tried to tell myself that it's it's really not about your body it's not it's about who you are it really really truly at the end of the day is and if you are with a guy who will ever make you feel less than like enough or beautiful it should always be about who you are

yeah and and if you're with a guy who would rather take this girl over you because of her body you do that guy i think it sucks for me that it became does he like this body more than my body too soon like we we only were together for one day yeah so there was no way of him telling showing me like for i have not been in a relationship for so long where i truly feel like I am the most beautiful person to someone's eyes. I have recently felt that and it is a very beautiful thing. I'm sure it's amazing. I'm not jealous but I don't know that feeling.

Yeah. I don't think I even realized I didn't know that feeling until I had it. Yeah. And I do think that's, I don't know, it's just again, I don't, I'm not trying to come down on age and because I just talked about Demi talking about girls being Cougars and was like, I'll throw it, drop you. But you're still young where you're like, the fact that you're even self-aware about these kinds of things is good.

And it's something that you can focus on and work on. And the journey to self-love is a lifetime. I mean, I don't know if I'll ever get there. But I always like to think of it as like, I get really overwhelmed in my house with decorating it, with keeping up with, gosh, if there's not one thing broken, there's something else. And I'm like, it's an ongoing project. I can't try and get everything fixed at once. And I can't try and, like, make the house perfect.

because it's an ongoing project and you have to kind of look at yourself like that too. It can be an ongoing project and just because you have insecurities here doesn't mean you can embrace another part of who you are and like you can work on things and you can love things and you can it's just you are constantly an ongoing project

of we're always we're I mean I'm always working on myself but yeah I mean that's huge right there yeah as long as you're working on yourself Jason okay we had a question for you just because we were talking about um beep we're talking about beep with the instagram accounts he follows what are your thoughts on like following those kinds of accounts and liking them do you think

it says something about your character so being relatively new to the instagram game i am a firm believer in trying to avoid judgment until you have conversations with someone and bring it to their attention because maybe he doesn't even realize it that's what i here's the thing we said that until until said that he has talked to him about this before. Yeah. Stating what?

That it's a little bit risque that you're following these people on Instagram. Can I go back? Can I read the texts? This is funny AF, just got through the podcast. I feel like I know this guy, aka

and I said, don't be that guy. It's weird to be that guy. And he said, I would never, duh, I've warranted him about it. Right. And I said, you might need to warn him a third or fourth or fifth time. And he goes, he knows, which blows my mind, some people just don't give a F. Well, because it's one thing to like beautiful women, that's fine. But these accounts are a little bit, like a little inappropriate. That's the problem.

Don't try and be politically correct. He's being political. Just, what do you think? What is your thought? Thought about the fact that he is following these accounts? And liking them. Like, do you think that is sketchy as a man or no? Are women supposed to care about this? Should we feel like if he's liking that, that must be the kind of girl he likes? I don't, especially with stuff like that, I really don't like to judge a book by its cover.

Sit down with a guy. Have a conversation. Understand what he's doing, where he is, why he's doing it. Understand his foundation, his fundamentals, who he is. You can't write a guy off based on that, in my opinion. It's just not enough. No, no, I don't think we're writing him off. Okay, so on the flip side, if you're talking to a new girl, this girl,

and she is following a bunch of guys with his, like, sexy lines. His lines showing, and he's got pecks, and he's... Yeah, he's half naked and I'm constantly liking it. Is that a concern for you? So I think it goes both the same for men and women. It doesn't matter if it's a male-liking, a woman. woman or male or male or vice versa. We're just asking if it was you in the situation with me, would that be a red flag to you?

Right now, I saw that you were like liking guys with like underwear like Calvin Klein models. I'd be like, what the hell are you doing? Right. Exactly. Right. Yeah. And that's Calvin Klein model. That's a profession.

Okay. I'm just walking, for the record, I am just walking into this. I didn't know what you guys are talking about. Yeah. But if you're starting to see someone, you're starting to date someone and they're liking something of that nature, you're probably like, well, why you're liking that? Right. A. I'm saying, yeah. Done.

Bye. I just need to understand the context. That's the context. That's all we're saying. Okay, he has to go have a business call. I think the question is legitimate. That's fair. Okay.

Thank you. But I think it's, I don't think it's fair to like completely judge until you have the conversation. We're trying to understand it. We're not judging. We're trying to understand it. Yeah, totally, totally.

Yeah, it's definitely something to be like, whoa, red flag, what's going on? Like, let's talk about this and see what they say. There we go. That's all we needed. You could have started with that. And there we do. Yeah, I love how he walks in, like, knowing there's microphones on.

He starts rattling in a cheese-it's bag, putting down wine glasses, keys in us. We need to leave soon. Anyways. You know what? Did you get what you wanted out of this podcast? Yes. Oh, yes. Out of the podcast.

I thought he went out of him. I'm like, he's so politically correct. He's going to be a hard guest to be reoccurating on the off the vine and grape therapy. You're not like live. I'm like, you got to just say what you like to. Come on every week because you keep talking. and not thinking about what you're talking about. And then he'll be like, can I listen to that before it comes out?

I hate, Caitlin. Can we talk? What the funniest thing was, the podcast with me, Caitlin and Jason, like all the shit that got cut out on my end. I was not as quiet as I thought I was. That's so funny because I was, because I have a producer and they edit things out. And I think we honestly were swearing so much that they're like, remember we had the song?

Yeah. We had that song. We can sing it without the F bomb. F me Every I don't know what it What came over us But like we were just talking

And we would It was the F That word And it was like Ha me But the way that we were harmonizing was really It's a beautiful thing

It was beautiful Songbirds of our generation Yeah No I got totally I just like honest conversation So you have 47 minutes That's perfect To do whatever you were

want with. Amazing. Amazing. Thank you for being my guest. I always like having conversation with you. I always know I'm going to, you know, I'm going to get honest, real raw, authentic conversation with Olivia Caridi. Well, and people are going to say, that girl talked too much. Nope. You know what? You talked the perfect amount and it's my podcast. So she talked too much. She did not talk enough. Thank you for being on this episode of grape therapy. I hope everybody took away something from this. Let us know your thoughts. Isn't it funny to think of this episode versus the last one yeah right where we are now heartbreak the last one was coffee therapy wow you were in my room right my my my one big room yeah and we were kind of sad you know sometimes heartbreak happens

and people grieve differently and people get through it and some people grieve longer and shorter and some people you know it's just you can't you can't um decide how people get through things and what they do with it you just have to root for people's happiness here's what i will say your vibe your your zen yeah wow my girlfriend was like katelyn you are radiating i will say your skin is literally popping out on it's touching me we're far from each other her teeth oh are red from wine are red but white oh your eyes are glowing you're confident it's a vibe it's annoying it's a vibe it's Very annoying. But you are looking amazing.

Well, thank you. I feel pretty good. What a difference from a couple, I don't know how many weeks ago. And I think that's what people can also gain hope from is, you know what? Timelines are timelines. And as long as everybody's happy, that's what it's about. And you can be going through like the worst of it. The worst.

And then a couple weeks later, you're like, honestly, you just never know what's going to happen. You don't know. You know what? If that ain't a grape therapy episode for you, I don't know what is. If your man is following chicks, then ask Jason what he might think about it and he'll disappoint you with what he thinks about it. Your session is now, I mean.

Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV? This week's Grape Therapy is sponsored by Brandless. Go to Brandlis.com and enter code Vine for $10 off.

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