Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Bachelor in Paradise Finale with Carly Waddell and Evan Bass

Episode Date: September 13, 2018

This week Carley Waddell and Evan Bass takeover for a special Bachelor in Paradise finale recap! Listen as they talk about relationship drama in the Bachelor world, their own time in paradise, and what’s next for this year’s participants. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario we're talking with o tv podcast one presents off the vine grace therapy kately bristow's going to answer your questions drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything bachelor let's shake it up some more here's katelyn hello and welcome to Grape Therapy with Caitlin Bristow. Just kidding.

You dialed the wrong number. You've reached Evan and Carly. Hello, everybody. We're crashing grape therapy. You know what? You'll be glad you dialed the wrong number. It's a six instead of a two. You know, we should prank calls and people.

Like, you sound like a prank call right now. Do I? I used to do that when I was little. Oh my gosh, yeah. Listen, we are recapping Bachelor in Paradise, the finale. which is like a happy and sad moment because it's happy because people are happy. Yeah. It's sad because it's over.

And lots of people are also sad. Yeah, lots of sadness. Also, I'm personally sad because what are we going to do on Mondays and Tuesdays when we don't have 17 and a half hours of Bachelor to watch. I don't know. What are we going to do? Like talk to each other? Ew.

Why would we do that? Oh, my gosh. Listen, it'll be our time to reconnect. Yes. I'll talk to you in this voice. We could talk about a relationship problem. Baby number two. Oh, wow.

Okay. A little soon, or maybe not too soon. I don't know. You guys decide. So let's talk about this Bachelor in Paradise thing going on. There's so much going on in Bachelor Nation this week. And I feel a little like a heavy responsibility to take on this podcast because, you know, there's just. It's heavy.

It's, we have, you know, we got to just do this justice. Good thing you've been going to this. and Jim, because you're now strong enough to lift the happiness. Yes, well, I hope we are honored, you know, we do this well, so. Okay, so shall we talk about first off the kind of the drama that's going on before we get deep into the show? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so Jordan and Jenna, there has been some allegations against Jenna about her having a separate boy behind Jordan's back and saying very inappropriate. appropriate things to this boy, man.

Yeah. And it's really sad if it's true. It's really sad if it's true. You know, we'll talk a little later because we got to spend some time in paradise with the two of them. We did. You know, when they were an established couple. And really, I think we got a pretty good read on them.

So, yeah, we'll talk about that a little bit later. I just want to read real quickly his little statement on Instagram because it's really intense about this breakup to think, to feel, to fall. These emotions interact with experiences and people. When you find a person, you think about them, you feel what they feel, and sometimes you fall. When you fall in love, even the experiences you've had with them, it's something to respect. Being careless with someone that you give your heart to and reach milestones with isn't sensible no matter what the terms may be. I have not had an easy life and I've had struggles that allow me to grab on to tough times and discard them from my path.

I deal with unreasonable circumstances, reasonably, and have to come to terms with a decision to remove myself from the relationship, breaks my heart to think, feel, and fall for this. It's dropped me. Fumbling emotions and being, understanding is not easy. I'll be taking time to pursue my inner peace, and she will always have me to talk to if you've reached out to me, allow me time. Thank you to those that have. Yeah.

You reached out to him, and he said, thank you. Yeah. That was really nice of you. I just wanted to be like, A man. I'm here, whatever, you know. It's all just really sad. Breakups are really sad in general, and I just can't imagine, you know, you're engaged somebody, and then all of a sudden the people of the world know before you do, basically

that your girl's a big cheater, if it's true. Right. But we don't know if it's true. No, we don't. And, you know, it's interesting, you know, Jordan is one of the most interesting people I've ever met. Oh, my gosh, totally. you know just getting to spend some time with them i i think it's it's fascinating to watch him

sort of externally process this like he went on instagram you know he's done a bunch of interviews he has sort of like talk through this in his brain i i you know i think some people are like why is he you know talking like this but i just really kind of appreciate his style of of processing this so you know but the question is is it true is it true i don't know his mom like got involved i guess and said something i don't know what she said um jenna is is saying it's not true. She's denying. She's denying it.

And he said in another interview I read that, you know, even if it's true or if it's not true, the same, the breakup still would be happening. So to me, that means that there was something going on that he already knew about, right? And this was like tipping point. Yeah. And Bachelor in Paradise Recap, the after show was filmed like three weeks.

go right right lots can change in three weeks a lot can change yeah yeah i mean you know it's interesting that he did you know just choose to end it so quickly i mean that's right that's really like you know i think it probably the smart move like get get some space like yeah let's not try to work this out there's a lot of like questions and stuff so i think for where they are in their relationship that's that's probably the smart move right and um you know i i think she probably would disagree with that but um i don't know who knows what she's thinking i mean honestly If she is, uh, if this stuff is true, then, you know, she's like the greatest fraud that's ever been on, on the Bachelor, maybe. I mean, and, you know, honestly, the way that, uh, the Bachelor

is now where it's like so lucrative to become like a popular person, you know, it just kind of is like, it's really tough. Like, it's got to be hard to be like producers, like having to, like, because I know our, the producers really want love. They really don't want people who are just there, like, to promote themselves. Oh, no. Not at all. And, um, so this, you know, it's just, I think, how can you judge someone's intentions? And she seemed, you know, so into him. Oh, my gosh. You know?

Yeah, totally. So anyway, we'll talk. She fooled us. Yeah, we'll talk a little bit more about. If she's lying. Yeah, yeah. Or telling truth. We don't know.

There's another little Bachelor in Paradise hiccups that's happening, though, too. What's that? Amanda Stanton was arrested. Oh, my goodness. Amanda. I know. And we, she was arrested for domestic violence in Vegas. She was so ridiculous.

Like, and we're laughing because, like, Amanda's boyfriend is huge. He is twice her height. At least. He is three times her weight. He, there's no way if she, okay, so the story is there was a cop that came to their room for, there was like a noise complaint, right? And then. Good for them.

It's Vegas. There should be a noise. I mean, what were they doing? Hopefully, the thing that we all wish we were doing. right now. Well, not right now, because then you'd be listening to that. That would be weird. So there's this noise complaint that happened.

And a cop came and said, hey, be quiet. And apparently she pushed her huge boyfriend, which would have been like me poking someone because she's tiny and he's huge. And the cop said it was enough to arrest her for violence. I mean, yeah. So the security guard called the cop. that they came and arrested her. It's so laughable.

It's so silly. I mean, you know, there's probably more of this story than like, than we know about. But like still, it's like, guys, it's Vegas. Like, hello, can we all just like give the poor? Well, I'm not going to say it's Vegas. But like, it's ridiculous. Yeah. She's so small.

He's so big. They left together, like, smiling. Like, it was just a crazy night. And it's dumb. That's what I'm going to say. It's just dumb. It's just dumb. I hate how everyone overreacts to this stuff.

Like, you know, Robbie tagged himself in one of the e-news posts or people post. Ew, well, he just needs attention. You know, Josh Murray was like, you know, made a statement about how he's concerned for the kids. That makes me so angry. That is so dumb. Josh, go away. A great mother. Like, that's just.

I know. It's really silly. And so, and everybody just jumps onto this stuff. And I don't know why Amanda is such a lightning rod for controversy. Whenever she, like, looks, you know, to the left, everyone's like, oh, my God, she's looking to the left. I guess it's a blessing and a curse. It's, you know, it's one of those things. But I don't think it's a big deal.

Yeah. So, anyway, it's pretty silly, but it just was a little bit of Bachelor drama. Okay, let's get to the show. Okay. So we had Monday night. We had Chris Harrison, you know, comes in and says, hey, everybody, this is the decision-making day. Here is your ultimatum. This is Fantasy Suite day.

And if you want to be with someone, you take. them to the fantasy suite and then you get engaged or if you don't want to be with them you break up right now get out of here we don't want you we've treated you like kings and queens since you've gotten here but now you are toast you will eat oatmeal instead of delicious guacamole so it was like round robin of couples just like calling it quits it was crazy like it was like blind side after blind side i you know part of me just you know i love the drama of it and you know part of me sad about it but like you know some of these couples it was like okay i can see i can understand you know you have couples like jordan australian jordan or new new zealand jordan and shoshana

who weren't even like a you know yeah that was a silly thing but at least she actually went on a date with somebody that was good yeah well yeah she said yes she actually ended up with robbie doing the ultimatum thing oh yeah oh wait yes oh yeah okay here i am let me let me rewind. Now I fast forwarded. Now I'm on the same page. Okay. Yeah. She went out with Robbie. Yes, you're right. Yeah. So they ended up being one of the eight couples at the end. Which is just ridiculous. Oh my God. Wait. So Robbie said something like, listen, I don't like want to stay with you, but like maybe if we get home, I could take you to dinner or on a date. What the heck is the difference between dinner and a date? Please explain this, man. Lord only knows.

No, I want to know. You're a guy. Please explain to me. Text him and ask him. What's the difference between dinner and a day? Because to a woman, it's the same. And I think that's super weird. Yeah.

Okay. They're gone. Yeah. So they're done. Bye. John, Evenmo John and Olivia. Yeah. They, you know, John has been the player of paradise.

Right. He's down, unexpected. I mean, he, I mean, his character arc is really fascinating. He went from like lovable, sort of affable John. to like this guy's like and he is serious like he is like kissing all the girls going all these dates you know

giving roses and then going out the next week with people so him and him and Olivia were the most serious that he's ever been with someone but you know and they kind of were like yeah I guess we'll try this outside of paradise right and you know then and then Tuesday night we find out something else

but we'll get to that okay so next then we have a community Neil and Annalisei. Anneliece. We call her that. Her name is Annalise. We know this. It's just like our fun way of saying it.

So they're a thing. He takes her to the Fantasy Suite. They seem good. I mean, she is like, thinks they're getting married. Yeah. Like, she doesn't even just think that they're getting engaged tomorrow. She thinks there's a wedding happening. Yeah.

I think Annalise is the purest person that's ever been. on Bachelor of Parents. Oh, 100%. She's, like, adorable, but also delusioned. She is absolutely, like, just in this, like, to win this. And it's not even winning. It's, like, finding some part person and, like, she really cares about it. Yeah.

And that looks crazy on TV, but it's actually really kind of sweet. And, you know, and again, when you compare someone, like, potentially Jenna, who's, like, you know, just here to, like, make some dollars. I think that's really even more endearing. Right. And I just want to give grace to Annalise and, and, and, uh, we really do. love her she's so sweet when we um went on paradise and talked to her when uh we were doing the babysitting date she was so sweet and we loved her we also didn't really trust camille we did not

have a good camille vibe no i know um but next couple yeah um and so then we have uh chris and crystal chris and crystal what an interesting pair of people together i know and it's and it works I know. You know, I really couldn't stand them because of the way Chris treated Tia at the beginning. You kind of ditched her and was like, you can't break up with me. I'm breaking up with you. So I like, so then he went and kissed Crystal real real taste in my mouth and tweeted nasty things. And then he blocked me on Twitter and. I'm hoping for the unblocked at him. Well, I don't, you know, we can all hope.

You know, we're all. One day you'll be holding hands running in the sun along the beach together, being besties. There you go. But, you know, they've sort of weaseled their way into our hearts, I suppose. And, you know, they seem like, you know, this show is all about. love and it's all about interesting people finding love right and they're definitely interesting they're very interesting yeah so that's and they were both villains and now they're very they're getting to the point where they're not villainous at all yeah that's great we'll see you know time will tell

then we have perhaps the most heart well no not the most heartbreak but this one was really sort of blindsiding astrid and kevin listen I'm still not over it there's a there's the next couple that we're going to talk about. I'm not over that either. But it was really sad. Evan, I don't know if you know this. But one time, before I met you, I was on Paradise. And I dated somebody else. While you were dating about five different girls, I was dating one person. Oh my God. Whatever. But this fellow who will remain nameless, uh, did. pretty much the exact same thing to me and I'm just going to go ahead and say I had the biggest freak out probably in Bachelor history because I did not take it well which is totally normal

like expected fine yes reasonable um but Astrid is a bad as a beep because she sat there like an adult Which I did not do. And she said to him, she asked him why. She asked him all of the questions one should ask and then said, listen, the one thing I asked of you this whole time is to not blindside me. And this is exactly what you're doing. And she dominated. And then she said, I am going to go home. And she walked off with her held high, head, head.

Why can't I talk? Head held high. Oh, it might be the line. And then he was like, don't leave me this way. Don't leave me this way. I can't say about that. So, and then, and then it was just over. And he was crying and she was hugging her friends and was really sad and very strange because they had just said, I love you.

Like, and we have a 12 month plan. And like in that 12 months was like a wedding. Yeah. Yeah. That was very long-winded, but I just had to get that out of my system. No, that's good. I think, you know, one thing about. Kevin is that he's been very open about, you know, how he's had to go through therapy and how,

you know, one thing I think we have to just realize is that this is a really intense process. Like it's very emotional. You're really exposed and you can't, you don't have a phone you can jump into and text your friends. You can't really process in a way that's private like you normally can. And so I don't think like for a guy like Kevin, that's not like he needed that and he didn't have that. And so when you don't have that, it creates, you know, stuff. You do things that you don't want to do and looks bad on TV. So, you know, he shouldn't have blindsided her. That's unfortunate.

Right. You know, all this is televised. But, you know, I just can't help but feel like he's actually a good guy. I feel like that as well. She's a better woman, but he's a really good guy. Right. And I think he just was really having a freak out moment. In my case, this guy had another girl back at home.

But for him, he did not. He just freaked out because he was being the typical guy that was like, I am in love with this girl, and this is overwhelming, and I don't know what to do with it. So if I step back, then I'm protected. Yeah. You know, and I get it, but it was really sad and hard to watch because we love her.

We, like, had no idea how much we would love her, but she was one of our favorites. I know. I ran into her at the New Orleans airport, and she was really, really sweet. Yeah. Anyway, I remember you saying that. Okay, next.

Actually, can I pause for a second? Yeah, you can. When will this show, is it even possible to bring on guys that are on the same level as the women? Like, for years it's been these amazing women with these guys who are just like, you know, all right, kind of weird, you know, whatever. But when, like, are there just no good guys out there anymore? No, I think this is why. Because, well, okay, so you were, um, you did not. Sign yourself up.

Your friends, Jenny and Hannah signed you up. Thank you, girls. But I think that people now, this could be totally wrong, but this is my guess. People now want to be famous and they're like, kind of dushy guys. And they're like, I'm not all of them, but I would say maybe a majority, I need to get on the show because then I can be famous and get a bunch of girls. some of them are like you and like in it to win it i mean a win a wife but um but like i don't know i just feel like that's is it bad is am i being like really like um sexist right now by

being like guys are duchier than girls because girls really want love and guys are like i want just multiple women all the time no i think it's our culture i think that's that's part of it i don't know that's kind of how i feel i feel like if guys sign themselves up it was probably not to get a wife. It's probably to get like multiple wives, but this isn't Utah. Okay. And I, well, and that's interesting. Like, I feel like this season did have a lot of younger people who it didn't feel like

necessarily were in it for the marriage and, you know, having a baby soon. And, you know, there's no pressure to have babies. We always kind of joke around about it. But there's no, actually, you know, you have to do your relationship in your own time, of course. Right. But it's interesting how our culture has changed, and maybe we're getting too deep here, but this is great therapy. Right. I feel I'm feeling the therapy.

But as our culture has changed, more people are sort of, you know, just dating to date and kind of moving kind of a Tinder sort of Bachelor in Paradise Edition. You know, that's kind of what this season was. Right. And it was really fun to watch. It was fun to watch. All right. I don't know that I'm ready. I need another sip of wine here.

Let's cheers and have another sip before we talk about this because I don't make crying. know how this kind of ends i know but like it was a really emotional it was really emotional yeah our tweets were pretty passionate you didn't take a sip and i'm sad oh i'm sorry that's completely a focus i know that's really bad okay so say their names grocery store joe and kendall oh my gosh even their names get to my soul listen i know that was super sad okay we love them because we chose them to babysit um our daughter bella and jade and tanner's daughter emmy and they just got straight to our hearts. Like, they're the sweetest, most endearing couple.

They're very, Evan and Carly, like, weird. Yeah. I mean, they're very quirky. They're way cooler than us, but... Listen. Come on. Okay, they are. But they want to be our friends, so that makes us sort of more cool.

Well, you know, it was cool as Kendall at brunch the other day. Again, we had lunch with brunch with Kendall. Yeah, I'm not bragging. She was like, I really took your advice to heart, you guys. She didn't. So she actually, like, took a, you know. It made me feel good about life. When we were on the show.

Yeah. So they broke up. So Kendall, so Joe said something that I think just kind of shook Kendall. He said, or, you know, we could have getting engaged. And he kind of laughed about it. And I think, one, that made her freak out because he said engaged, but he said it in a joking manner and no girl wants that. And I think she was like, I don't want an engagement to be joked about.

And now I'm feeling uncomfortable And now I'm questioning everything That's why I think triggered her I didn't even take it that way like he was joking I felt like he was Yeah, I could see now That's interesting Because as a girl

I mean Even if you don't want to accept the proposal It might be nice to just have the guy Say he wants to do it So then you could say like listen I'm not ready for that But when a guy jokes about it It's like wow

Well you know they made it I forget who it was, like made a comment, but they said that, and I'm realizing how in too deep I am on this stuff, but they made a comment how they haven't had a lot of serious conversations. And that, that kind of made me think that we really, we love Joe so much, but do we really know Joe at all? I don't know. I think it's just a smile and like his little funny comments. His mannerisms are we're in love with. We don't really even know Joe. And I don't know that Kendall was ready for that. But again, she admitted that she kind of, you know,

pulls herself away when stuff stuff gets like that. And also I get that too. I mean, you, gosh, but it's Joe, man,

just he's the best. We don't even know who he is, but we love him. Look at his smile. It's like when those smiles, it like when he smiles, it goes, ding.

Yeah, exactly. He has that. He actually kind of reminds me of Zach, my brother. Yeah, he does. Like, he's just that kind of like

quirky, nice, charismatic dude. I think what he represents actually is, um, like a steadiness like a really like oh yeah he has like a real strong sense of like he's like a rock you know like you know what you're gonna get with you yes oh man and you know it was really sad too

because he she said i don't know if i i know i love you but i don't know if i'm in love with you and he goes and she goes i don't know how you feel and he was like you obviously don't feel the same way i feel because like he knew he knew he was in love with her he's like i've been love with you since day, too. Oh, God. Crush me, stab a knife into my heart and then twist it. So they left and I had cried. I didn't really cry because I don't cry, but like, I mean, I felt it. Remember that one time at our wedding, I was like, you better give me a freaking tear.

Yeah, and then when we were walking off, one tear fell down my face. I got one tear at our wedding. Listen, it happened. You can't say it didn't happen. Yeah. I interrupt Carly and Evan to talk about Express. When your billable hours start running into your happy hours. Nobody likes that. There's no time for an outfit changed, so rewrite the rules of dressing for the job

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And get $25 off when you spend $100 on anything express using code Caitlin. That's express.com promo code Caitlin, K-A-I-T-L-Y-N for $25 off when you spend $100. We'll be right back with more off the vine. Grave Therapy. Alexa isn't the only one with breaking news. Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute. Hey guys, if you like this show, then you need to check out the Perez Hilton podcast. Each week, Perez is joined by Chris Booker to bring you the best gossip from around Hollywood,

what's hot, what's not, and what's everybody talking about. You will never know where the show will end up, so check out the Perez Hilton podcast weekly on Podcasts one or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Now back to Off the Vine Grape Therapy. So then Tuesday night, a bunch of stuff happened. I mean, I think probably... Oh, we missed one small, tiny detail. Who?

What? Jordan and Cassandra. Hmm? Jordan and Cassandra, they went on a date. New Zealand. Oh, New Zealand. And he was like, I think our relationship would be exactly the same, regardless of we had more time.

And that was sad because Cassandra was on my season, and she's... this also just the sweetest. Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay, continue. Yeah, no, that's important. Yeah, you like Cassandra. I do a lot. Yeah, so night two, we have the live show.

Right. Lots of recaps and montages and audience applause. I love it how every season, like, the audience is dressed up like a certain, like some people had T-shirts that said, moving with the cheese, and then there were people that had the headbands. The headbands, the goose headbands. I just love how the producers of the show. It's so funny.

It's so funny. And, you know, stuff got real pretty fast. It was funny. Shoshana was there, didn't say a word but glared a couple times. Or she might have and they just didn't have taken anything. No, of course, they edited out a ton of stuff. Yeah. During Women Tull, they edited out everything I said.

But no big deal. No blaming editing. I'm not bitter. I'm so bitter. Okay, keep going. Yeah. No, so like we let off, I think immediately with, Camille and Annalisei, Camilla and Annaliazza, and boy, howdy, I'll tell you what, that was, that was vicious.

So Camille and Annalise comes out, she's like, excited about her relationship, probably going to get engaged at some point. Things are going well. And then they bring out Camille, and he's like, like, monotone. I don't think I should be with you. What a freaking jerk, man. Like a puppet. Like, it sounded like he just, like, needed to, like... It was so weird.

And she was like, what? We had, we just booked an Airbnb for a week yesterday. So what did it, Evan, what do you think happened? No, that is the worst possible that you book an Airbnb with someone. That is like, you're really on another level. I know. So what happened? What happened?

What happened between the Airbnb booking moment and this moment? Well, Airbnb offered Annalise. Oh, that's very nice. But what happened? With Camille in his head. I don't know. You know, when we sat down with him in Paradise, we immediately could tell that Anleys was way more into it than Camille was.

Right. And he kind of, I, you know. But he was into her. Yeah. Just not as. You know what? I think her emotions pulled him along and that can take you a certain, certain way.

But then like when he got on that kind of big stage, it sort of like sort of hit him. And he was like, oh, wait, I'm not. It's better and easier. It's easier for me to bail now than try to work this out. was a cross-country thing. Okay, so, but this is what's stupid is, okay, if you feel anything towards a person, why would you put someone through that on national TV? Why wouldn't you say it yesterday?

Give her a heads up, yeah. Don't give her a heads up. Just freaking tell her yesterday and get on the show and be like, listen, we just broke up. I didn't want to do it on here because I didn't want to do it in front of everyone and embarrass her or, you know, really shout out all of our problems. Like, I just don't understand why he chose, I don't understand why he chose to do it there. And I don't understand what the switch was in his head. That was like, hey, we just booked this trip and now I don't want to be with you.

Like, something had to happen. I know. I mean, you know, why is it that also in life that sometimes the sweetest souls get hit the hardest with stuff? Like, she's like the most sensitive little flower. And he just came in and, you know. Well, she dates the wrong guys. She just goes for another. Yeah.

Or Ben Higgins. I like her with Ben Higgins. That would be really cute. I think they'd be really cute together. I don't know. I don't know. There's like, you know, is Ben Higgins out of, you know, her Instagram follower league? Oh, wow.

I'm just kidding. I'm just. I don't think so. Ben is the nicest. Ben is the nicest. So that happened and it was really sad. So sad. Some of my favorite parts.

the show, though, are when they follow them out of the, out into the hallway. She's just like in the, like up against the wall with her hand over eyes crying. And you can see the producer following him out, talking to him. But then you know, like she's leaving there and there's like, you know, probably a party afterwards and she just wants to go back to her hotel and cry and, oh gosh, it's so sad. Oh, I know, just let her go to her free Airbnb. I know. I know. I hope she gets a really good one, too.

I know, yeah, it's true. Like that one we got in Scottsdale that one time. That's amazing. We found some bad ones too. That's true. Never trust a Waddell to book in Airbnb. Listen. Anyway.

Anyway. Maybe if I change my last name, I'll be better at it. And so then we had Astrid and Kevin come out and they got back together. They did. And it was very interesting. All of that was interesting too because, again, we love her. Um, so she was like, I'm still very confused about all of these things that are happening with us. We have talked, but I don't know if I can trust him.

And then he came out and he likes to talk about his therapy, which is, this is grape therapy. Um, good for him. So good for him. And he said that, you know, he went to therapy and he realized that he was in his own way. And I think that's a really cool thing to say, um, because, you know, lots of people. never think it's them right oh it's it's you you're the one who I blah blah blah and he was like listen it's me you're great it's yeah it's my it's my fault so I appreciated that he said that don't you feel like a lot of dudes do that though oh I'm broken I can't and I like in the tinder world that's what I hear like in the tinder world that's what you hear you know I keep my ear to the ground and okay should I make sure you're not still on there you can remember that time

there was a fake account of you on you Bumble in like Columbus, Ohio. I know. That was so weird. If you're listening, fake account, we know who you are. Unless you're really Evan. And in that case, that's why you go away every weekend. No, I'm just kidding.

He's here. Oh, my God. So, yeah, I'm glad they're back together. She said, I love you too. That was really sweet. They were holding hands. I hope they're happy. Yeah, no, I think, you know.

Oh, can I say one more thing about that? Uh-huh. Can you stop bringing up the, like, fantasy sweet? Like, I took Ashley there, and I really shouldn't have taken Ashley. Like, he doesn't talk like that. I don't know why you just bring up Ashley. Like, okay, we get it, buddy. Right.

I love you, but, you know, it's time to move on from Ashley. Yeah, I just, I think that that little, uh, hold hot topic of, uh, that needs to just be, bye, like, Ashley's engaged to somebody you have a girlfriend. Like, let's just let it's, like, we don't need to talk about it like, every single show yeah exactly all right so then we had joe and kendall's beautiful reunion oh my gosh thank you bachelor for caring enough for going to chicago to film this little apology session from kendall i mean how cute was that like it was so they they showed like a clip of it um online like the day before and i didn't care about anything else that was happening

on Bachelor Tuesday night, not even the proposals, which we forgot to talk about. Whoops. We'll get there. But I was so excited to see how this Kendall and Joe thing went down that my heart is being

a little bit faster during the day. And she, so she says, I made a huge mistake, right? And she said, I got in my own way. I was so scared. I didn't realize, I realized right after you left, I should have come after you,

but I didn't. Yeah. And he was like, I don't know if I can get there again. Yeah. Stap me in the heart and twisted again twice. Oh my gosh. And I get it. Totally reasonable.

Totally reasonable, but so sad. But then they go on stage and say that they have been meeting a few times and they have reconciled. And he's like, I do love her. And then what was the announcement, Evan? He's going to be on dancing with the grocery store. Or, sorry, dancing with the stars. my gosh. So here's the thing. The person who really should be on Dancing the Stars is yours truly Caitlin Bristow. And I'm trying. Can we make that a trend? I'm trying to be really excited.

Wait, yours truly means you though. Oh, that's not what I meant. I meant. No, I meant like this is her podcast. Okay. Yeah. What would I say instead of yours truly? Her highness. Her highness, queen, Caitlin Bristow. And I just, I just. just, I mean, maybe they just want the bachelor person to, like, not win, because Caitlin would crush it and win. Joe is going to be great, but I'm, like, sad. Like, I want Caitlin to be on so bad. So I'm, like, so happy, but, like, so sad.

Here's the rumor that I heard. Are you making them a rumor? I'm not making up a rumor. Okay. Don't accuse me of these things. I heard that they wanted grocery store Joe to be the bachelor. No. What is that?

this you're making this up no i heard that i heard that from a from an inside source oh my and that he even got advice to hey you know you could stay single and probably be you know be a strong contender for the bachelor i can't because but his heart was in it for kendall and i'm grateful because carly would have left me and gone on the bachelor and for grocery store joe he doesn't say enough words um but i am so happy for him and kindle but gosh would he not have been the best or maybe Who knows? We haven't heard more than... The most non-talkative bachelor other.

The ten words that he said are amazing. But then they would just have him smile and it would go, ding! And you'd be like, okay. I don't know. I don't know how to dance. I love you, Kendall. Oh, my gosh. It's so funny.

This is great. You're fantastic. Let's kiss. Okay. We're loving. I love them. And then they saved, let's see, for the very end, Chris. glitter goose chris and glittery crystal and they gave them a crystal goose

they gave them a crystal goose um their moms are best friends you know and in in their moms are best friends that is so cute crystal crystal's mom has a barbed wire tattoo on her arm which is beautiful fantastic I love that and they both look like you think one day our moms will be best friends and maybe your mom will get a barbed by her tattoo on her you know that's been in my prayers You're not for, you know, it's fun. Okay, keep going. Yeah, so Chris and Crystal ended up coming out of this as the shining bright stars. They really did.

Honestly, I fast forward the Jenna and Jordan thing. Why? Because I just, you know. Oh, because you were so mad. So Evan watched the show late because he decided that soccer is more important than Bouchon Paradise, which hello priorities. U.S. versus Mexico, baby. And so he went to watch the game, and I watched the show with Bucson. on my lap who's being super cuddly

and it was really adorable but so he watched it a day late and by the time he watched it the Jordan and Jenna News was already out so by watching that he was just really mad yeah basically yeah so let's talk about our time with Jordan and Jenna

okay um you know I think you you should say you kind of have said it a lot and I think it's important like what how they kind of interacted with us Okay, so, you know, we were really excited to meet the Jordan. Jordan, yeah. And so he walked down with Jenna, and they were super cute, and she is very Marilyn Monroe-esque and very giggly.

But his body language was very interesting. So we were sitting faced, obviously faced them. Jordan was sitting closest to me, and Jenna was sitting, I mean, on the same seat, or on the same bench, but, like, he had his best. body angled towards us so by that body language he was kind of um like I don't even know how to explain this he was she was like behind him so he was like body language cutting her off and talking to us but then he would be like listen I am so I am so in love with this woman like when we said could there be proposed he was like yes if you can hear my dog eating in the background by the way

sorry um but uh she she was very giggly and didn't say a lot and then when i said how do you feel about the engagement she's like i just i don't want me maybe you know she just she wasn't really giving us anything other than like a little giggle and he was professing his love but it was just so weird from his body language he was cutting her off it was interesting watching the first four or five episodes and seeing this like whole other side of jenna that we didn't see sitting down with her that she didn't really reveal a lot of depth she didn't really yeah like you know her body language towards him was wasn't like lovey-dovey and yeah and he was really the one talking about how great the relationship was and um and we were we were still kind of like who is this girl what right

and then watching it back we're like oh my god she seems amazing right um and she seems like you know bright light but like it was just interesting you know it's just one of those things that you kind of walk away from you're like man i love jordan and jenna's from a different planet that was always kind of like what everyone said is she's an alien right and i guess she really is maybe an alien so she does this like whole um schick right she does the whole like tongue through the teeth the giggle the like look away the she has these tactics it's maryland monroe yeah yeah which she says like oh my tongue just goes through my teeth and like that's just something that just happens naturally I don't even know what's not.

But again, like, I don't want to be mad at her. And if this isn't true, but if it's true, I'm so mad at her. So I'm just, I don't know. I'm like so, I'm like in a limbo place. Yeah. And I'm sad and mad, but happy, but like, I'm all the feelings. And their engagement was so sweet. I mean, Jordan said a lot more than she did.

Okay, wait, fast forward, rewind. Here we are. The Chris and Crystal engagement, which we didn't. talk about. I'm so, I'm still, I would have killed you. Like you, I would have been, I would have said the snarkiest, rudest thing to you if you would said, I don't want to leave here holding your hand. I'd be like, okay. And I probably would have turned and walked off. I want to leave here holding your heart. Will you marry me? I was like, this is no time for jokes. This, first off, not a funny joke. He was trying to be cute. I know, but it wasn't cute. It's like a proposal, and you're supposed to woo your woman and tell her how it's amazing. She is not, like, terrify her. Yeah, I know.

It's interesting. But, I mean, she thought it was funny and they're still together. So she obviously gets his humor. But I was very like, oh, my gosh, if having had done that to me. As long as she gets it, it doesn't really matter. But guess what? We get to judge the crap out of it. We do.

We really do. And here we are doing just that. So, anyway, it was a beautiful season of paradise. it was let's uh take a minute and then go through some of the questions that you guys have for us okay uh how about you so uh my only questions were uh how do you feel about Jordan and Jenna and I think we've recap that about 200,000 times uh and I don't know I mean yeah I'm just I'm really sad about the whole thing and and um okay I've got a couple questions what did you think of the

proposals and final rose parts they seem scripted okay so it's not definitely not scripted you have to write your own proposal speeches and you have to obviously talk by yourself it's not scripted in the

final rose segment so yeah that's what I have to say about that yeah what are your questions I didn't really get any Evan how did you get so hot Oh, my gosh. Evan.

Actually, I'm just getting over and over. That one is just being asked. Hang on, let me try to find some other ones. What did you say? Because I've been working out with my lady. When is your ointment line coming out? Thank you. Oh, okay.

I'll take this time to promote my ointment line. 2043. It's going to be fantastic right now. Oh, wasn't it like earlier than that? Me and Jessica Alba are developing. Anyway, it's really, really quite fantastic. I never understood. the ointment thing, but okay.

Yeah, a lot of people asking about Jordan and Jenna. That's it. Who is the greatest villain ever on BIP if all this Jenna stuff is or isn't you? All right, so take Jenna out. Okay. Who's the greatest villain? Ooh. I mean, I have a biased, I have some biased opinions here.

Well, to state your biased, I would say Kirk the jerk. Kirk, yeah, 100%. I'd say, you know, Chad, I think, was probably... Oh, Chad was 24 hours in and out of paradise. Yeah, well, yeah, Chad said super mean things. Yeah, he said really bad things to her friend. Could you sense any insincerity in Jenna when you met her in Jordan, you know?

I mean, it wasn't like insincerity. It was just kind of aloofness, I'd say. Yeah. Yeah. I think the people that we got the weirdest vibe to me of the people we interviewed was from Camille. And I think it was just because Annalise was so into it and he was like, I just want to kind of slow down. Which I don't think they showed that, but that is what he said. Yeah, yeah.

Harder soft tacos, Carly. I know the answer to that. What kind of tacos are attacked around here? I'm all about the soft corn tacos. Oh, here's a good question. Is there pressure to propose after fantasy suites? Yes. Does Neil Lane come to the door in the AM?

No. Evan, why didn't you answer that? Is there pressure to propose? Did you have pressure to propose? Yes, I did. I know you did. Oh, my gosh. I totally forgot about this done out.

That wasn't pressure. That was a joke. But, no, I don't think it was a joke. So they didn't think Evan, well, they knew Evan was like either totally in or like totally out. Um, and so one of the producers, if you can hear my dog drinking right now, I'm sorry. Um, one of the producers is like, Carly, you just do it. You propose. And I'm like, I am not taking that away from a man. Like, that is like emasculating. That would have been awesome. Who cares? Well, in this movie that I watched the other day, she says that pig, what are the, what's that movie that I watched on Netflix? Oh, gosh, it has the stupidest name ever. I don't know. Something. Oh, gosh. It's about a pig farmer.

Anyway, she proposes, and it's really cute. Deliverance? No. No. No. Don't wake up, Bella. Okay. Is Jenna actually Amy from Gone Girl? And she duped us all.

Oh, no. Let's hire security for Jordan. And now for us. When can we expect baby number two? That pressure is ridiculous, you guys. Yeah, we don't know. We don't know. such a thing.

Evan, you're just so gosh darn good luck. Okay, sorry. God, man, that's just over. Thank you guys so much for your... Oh, my gosh. Okay, so that's all the therapy we have for tonight. Beg the producers to make Jordan the Bachelor. Do you have any influence in that area?

100% yes. No influence. Yes, I'd say we have lots of influence. You know, I'm dying to be a guest producer on Paradise. Dying. I like, it would make... No, can you do that? No, you wouldn't be able to do that to people.

Producers sometimes have to be really mean. They have to make you say mean things and do mean things. No. They have to say, hey, Carly, say you don't like Evan and that he smells. You never said that I smelled. No, you always smell good. Okay, that's it. That's all the time we have for tonight.

But thank you guys so much for sticking with us if you did. Yeah. If not. Well, you're not listening to this right now. You're not listening and it doesn't matter. And you'll hear of Caitlin next week. Anyway, we miss you, Caitlin. We love you, and we hope you're doing okay.

Okay. Bye. Love you. Bye. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new mini-sodes every Thursday, and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast 1.com,

the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV? Sponsor review for this Thursday, go to express.com and use code Caitlin for $25 off when you spend $100.