Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Bachelorette Recap with Brett Vergara

Episode Date: December 3, 2020

Grape Therapy: Bachelor Recap with Brett Vergara Kaitlyn is joined today by popular social media Bachelor commentator, Brett Vergara! He comes on to discuss the INSANE cliffhanger from the episode then get into his interests in relationships/dating and The Bachelor franchise. Later, they do a deep dive into serious topics talked about in the episode like BLM, bulimia and more.  GEICO - Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance SKREWBALL - Go to Skrewballwhiskey.com for more info and click to buy now  HEAD & SHOULDERS - Self-care made simple OXICLEAN - Go to OxiClean.com/tryme and order a free stain-fighting sample while supplies last TALKSPACE - As a listener of this podcast, you can get $100 off your first month on Talkspace by going to Talkspace.com and use code VINESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's OxyClean.com slash TRIME for a free stain fighting sample while supplies last. And Talkspace. As a listener of this podcast, you can get $100 off your first month on Talkspace. To match with your perfect therapist, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code Vine. podcast one presents off the vine grape therapy kately bristow's going to answer your questions drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything bachelor let's shake it up some more here's kately welcome to grape therapy and it is a grape therapy indeed felt like a nice little therapy session over red wine because today on the podcast we had a lot to unpack uh the season has been so entertaining. Tonight's episode didn't

disappoint him more than one way. It was drama with you know, Bennett and Noah, but it was also powerful conversations and to help me dive into episode eight, I have the meme king himself, Mr. Brett Vergara.

Spoilers ahead, you know the drill. Twelve men remain. One goes home even before he makes it to the rose ceremony. And we're left on the biggest cliffhanger ever. So we really get deep into some conversation about important things, eating disorders, things that they talked about on the show tonight that I thought were really impactful and important to talk about and cover. So I hope you enjoy this great therapy. Let me know your thoughts and enjoy Brett's conversation.

I'm like, do I have red wine? Right now I've been drinking red wine while watching the show and then I'm like, Brett has the best tea I've ever seen. So I can't have like red wine. I read wine right here. So, like, I will, I will be, cheers. Well, cheers. I forgot where my camera was over here. But I will be transparent. This is, like, cheap boxed wine because, like, we're just getting the job done right now, you know? We're just, it's efficiency. I don't care what wine people drink. If you're drinking wine with me, I'm happy about it. I mean, would I prefer you drinking spade and sparrows, of course? But if you're drinking box wine, I was going to say, I have yet to try spade and sparrows.

and I absolutely need to. Yeah, you do. Wait, you're in New York, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm in upstate New York right now just during COVID life, but normally Brooklyn, yeah. Live in that COVID life.

Okay, we'll send you some... Wait, can you get wine shipped in that part of New York? I think so, question mark? I think so. It depends on, like, I don't know, like... Yeah, I don't know exactly like what you ship it through, but...

Because some states... I'm pretty sure I can, though. I'm going to send you some. We'll get you some regardless. So red's your favorite, or do you like white or rosé or all of you? Red. Oh, I'm a big, big red boy. I mean, rosé, too.

I mean, I feel like I'm a rosé has to be about the ambiance of it all. But the red is usually to go to. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Any time of year. You know, I have, like, red when it's like 100 degrees. That would be like, nope, it's fine. It just works.

I just put a little ice cube in my peanut noir. Yeah. Also, like, I always forget what you're supposed to do. Because, like, some people are like, oh, you're not supposed to have red wine called my glistens. Too many rules. Just it's good. And sometimes you want it a little chilly. It's fine.

Yeah. Now, you know what? There are no rules with wine in my books. It's anything goes for me. I'm not a wine snob. That's like my whole thing about faded sparrows. I'm like, I don't care what you do. Like, as long as you enjoy it, I'm happy.

I don't, I don't judge. And for people, I mean, I feel like people all know you on Twitter for your hilarious tweets. and um you always do like literally the funniest bachelor bachelor at tweets i've ever seen i don't know how i discovered you but i'm sure it was from like somebody retweeting and i was like wait this guy's actually really funny about the bachelor and bachelor when did you start tweeting about it well first all shucks all gee thank you thank you very much um but uh no so you know i i always feel like uh an imposter in bachelor world because i haven't been watching since i was like eight years old, you know, some people, some friends of mine who I watch with, they're like,

oh yeah, I watched with my mom when I was like, when they were like eight years old or something, and I'm like, I feel early. It feels a little early, but okay. But no, I started watching in 2016. So I actually watched the, it was in Paradise. So it was actually Nick's redemption arc. Yes, you missed my season by half a season. I did, but I have gone back. Just so you know. I have gone back. I've got to make, well, listen, I was recommended it so much. So I had to go back to, you know, all that. You're just saying that because you're on my podcast.

I would never. I would, no. Like, no, actually, well, we'll get into this later, but I was thinking while watching the episode tonight. And then while I was watching your season, a big reason why I wanted to go back and watch your season. And then Ben's season is just like the cast was so good. Like there's so many people that are still around. that came from there. And, yeah, so it's really cool seeing them like back then, too.

That's true. I feel like when I was on Chris Soul season of The Bachelor, it wasn't like a big Instagram world of you could blow up on Instagram and get a career out of it and, like, you know, continue your, like, build a brand or anything. That wasn't really a thing. It kind of started on my season. So I feel like I had really genuine people there.

And then social media really blew up with, Jojo's season and I feel like all the guys came in and be like, ooh, we could, you know, not that she didn't have some great guys, of course she did, but I feel like I had a really good group of genuine guys who were like curious about the opportunity of a relationship over, like most things. But even back in the day when there wasn't social media, people still went on that show for opportunities. But I'm just saying, you know the difference now with Instagram and everything compared to

back in 2015. Well, you know what the thing is with your, the guys on your season two is I feel like they became popular later on. Like it wasn't right away. You know, you look at Jared. You look at Nick. It wasn't right away. I mean, Nick clearly went through a saga to say the least. Yeah, but like, you know, a lot of them excelled in like paradise later on.

And that's more when the whole Instagram world was taking off. So they could kind of like ride the wave of it, even if they kind of came in early. that's so true paradise they were like thriving in that i was laughing so hard because so i got home from la and i'm like unpacking and i'm kind of got in this mode today of organizing and cleaning things out and i just you know when you get in that zone and you can't stop that was me today and i found okay i actually didn't even realize i found this diary or this journal but i went to write some notes for for the episode tonight because i'm old school like that and i like to actually write them down with a pen and paper and i'm looking and i'm like what is this i had all

lot of deep quotes I wrote down, which I really like looking back at, because this is from 2015, and I wrote things like, more important than 2020 vision is your internal vision. Wait, okay, whatever you go through, you do exactly that. You go through it. It will pass. 95% of beliefs we have stored in our minds are lies. We suffer because we believe all of them. Like, I'm like, what, I was deep in 2015. Yeah. My God. Yeah, this is like very like, like, like tumbler, tumbler-esque in a way.

Like that, or like live journal. I don't know exactly what era that is, but it's very, yeah, it's very, very deep. I was laughing so hard at myself. I kind of like some of them like, okay, this one. So many girls have an idea of romance. They aren't complete unless they find someone to make their lives complete, which is crazy. You alone make a whole person. If you feel incomplete, you have to fill it yourself with self-love.

And I'm like, good for you, Caitlin. Look at you go. I know. And then I was looking back. I mean, now I'm just going on a roll here. But this is from when I was on The Bachelor. And I'm like writing about Britt, who, remember I competed against her to be the Bachelorette. And I'm like, there's this really pretty girl from Hollywood.

and they were kissing in front of me and I thought it was so icky but I was like my my head is having no my head is strong but my heart is having a hard time I love that this is like describing it in the moment too it's not even just like reflecting back on it's like this is what was coming out as you were experiencing these things it was very much in the moment like and I go into like depth like how and when he says Caitlin will you accept this rose like I'm like walking myself through it which is fun to look back on now because I'm like think I did that how fun is that to look back

on something five years ago that I went through actually it might even be six years ago on Bachelor but to like look through and see my thought process and I actually surprised myself reading it back I'm like I was pretty like mentally strong back then we'll be right back with more Austin Vine Great Therapy. Question for you before we get back to the pod,

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It's GEICO easy. Visit guyco.com today. That's GECO.com. This is Austin Vine Grape Therapy. Do you journal, like, beyond the show, like, journal today for the most part? I try to. I try to. I don't go into as depth as I did on that show, but I like to, have you ever heard of the five-minute journal?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's what I'm doing. So I like writing down, like, you know, the few things good that happened to your day, something you'd like to work on, like all that kind of thing. I like doing that. Do you journal? I want to do it a lot. more. Like I remember the biggest thing. I was really close with my gram. She, she had a few years ago, but her biggest thing was, yeah, like just wanting to document everything because it's like, you know, you think you're going to remember certain things and like how you felt in certain moments. And, and I think, too, something I think about a lot is we sort of have this like mirage that we're documenting everything on like Facebook or Instagram. It's like, oh, yeah, like all of our vacations or our, you know, outings with friends or whatever is there.

but it's not there to like, you know, the raw quotes that you're, you know, say in here, it's like you don't get those thoughts. Yeah. You know, like social media and all that. So those get kind of lost with time. So I definitely want to. I kind of go through phases of it. It honestly depends.

It really depends if I'm like going through something. You know, if I'm going through something, then I'm really journaling and trying to make an active effort to journal. I like to be that, though, because it's nice to look back if you see how much you've grown or what you were going through is to where you are now. And yeah, I agree with you. People think they're documenting so much that they're not taking the time to write anything down.

But like, even the biggest moments in my life, for example, being the Bachelorette, I'm like, oh, well, never forget this. And I remember talking to Jillian Harris about it, and she was like, oh, I don't remember anything from my season. You definitely need to journal. I'm like, how could you not remember the biggest time in your life? And now I'm like, oh, I totally get it.

I look back on this. And I'm like, I totally forgot all of this. happened so yeah well well you know what the thing is too is like it's it's like other big milestones like take that brain space before i forget too i i haven't said it yet at least on this podcast i've said it like over over message but congrats on the win god damn you did it look at she's right there there's the baby there she is oh my gosh thank you i know we talk over Twitter, but thank you for saying that to my face over the screen. I was trying to find something that looked Mirabal-esque in my house, and I found this

Christmas tree from Target, so I was trying to commemorate the occasion a little bit. That looks just like it. Basically, yeah, it's a little smaller, a little bit. Do you know what my mom did? My mom was, like, talking to Jason last night, and Jason's like, oh, Caitlin, I made something, I'm going to put on social media. It's like about your journey, and I was like, oh, my God, cool. And then my mom goes, wait, wait, wait, I made something too.

And she brings over, she had wrapped a small mini water bottle in like gold wrapping paper and then put a mini mirror ball on top because she wanted a piece of the mirror ball because I'm pretty sure my mom thinks she won that mirror ball. That's so wholesome. I mean, listen, probably like in a way, you know, she can have like that. That's her piece. That's her like influence in the mirror ball. I mean, she was a professional dancer.

So she, you know, she created me. It's in my blood. And there you go. that's what it is um but it's so okay i think so many people know you from twitter and tweeting about the bachelor but how did you just have one tweet that went viral or something or did you work for a company or no yeah but yeah no it's it's so funny trying to like uh explain how we got here because i barely even know how we got to this point of like oh yeah there's like a thing that i do and people don't like know me for but yeah so you know started watching in 2016 for no like goal

It wasn't to go in and it's like, I'm going to try to get really popular tweets about Bachelor in and go on podcast. There was just no aim to it. A lot of it was just, I've always just been an earnest sucker for connecting with people. And I was just watching Bachelor in Paradise with a friend who, again, has all of this context around, you know, Nick. And I remember like, Kayla was on that season. And I just thought it was fascinating, watching a show and watching, you know, people interact. I've also always been obsessed with dating culture. So I'm going to bounce around my story all over the place, but I was at BuzzFeed for a good amount of years, not covering

anything entertainment related. It was doing, I was a community manager there. I've always been just like a sucker for dating related stuff. So even when I was at BuzzFeed, I would do these little one-off posts or videos that were like, have you ever heard of? like the 36 questions love experiment it was a couple of years ago it was in the new york times it was so basically the premise of it i'm like obsessed with this stuff and that kind of leads me to like why i got so into bathroom stuff or in all the all the dating shows and all that um so the 36 questions love experiment the tldr on it is they start off it was a i think it was like a study back in the 70s or or something like that and it got resurfaced for this piece and they start off the very

first question is something pretty surface level, like, if you could bring like four people to dinner, alive or dead, like who would, you know, like that sort of stuff. And then the last question or towards the end is like, what's like your most traumatic memory? And it's supposed to be just exercise and vulnerability and answering questions that you don't usually talk about. And then in between that, how they actually end it, is they make you stare into like your partner's eyes or whoever you're doing the exercise with for four minutes straight without talking. And I just thought that that was like fascinating when I read it. So there's a whole BuzzFeed post where I like did that with a stranger. So just to give you like some context. No way. Oh, okay. I got to look

this up. Oh yeah. I mean the so I will I will spoil it. I'm not married to that person. I'm not in love with that person so it's um oh the 36 questions love experience i should say it's like i think it's called 36 questions that'll lead to love so the whole premise is that if you do this exercise you might like fall in love with the person that you're doing it with can you do the exercise if you're already in love yeah yeah so like that was something we did for the post and this is so like so long ago so i'm probably going to misremember stuff but um we had for the post yeah no exactly. I mean, that's written down, thankfully. I told me, did journal that. But for me, it was like I did this with like a friend of a friend, so a complete stranger. Someone did it with

someone. They had just started dating. So that was like an interesting pitch, I'm sure. And then someone did it with someone they had been dating for like 10 years. So what I thought was interesting about the one who did it with their partner of a whole bunch of years is, and I'm like big believer in this too is like asking the right questions like we'll just get you to just such weird places you know in conversation because we we just kind of usually talk about the same stuff over and over again like and and it takes time with someone to to get at these like weird things um you know because again like people don't really go up to people at parties and be like what's your most traumatic memory it's not really like a thing like it's brought up often

And you have time to, like, ease them into the 30-sex questions at the party. You can't, like, start off easy. Like, you know, that's funny. We'll be right back with more Austin Vine. Great Therapy. All right. So I know my listeners are fun. We like to spice things up a little, or you wouldn't be listening to this podcast.

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70 proof, please drink responsibly. You're listening to Off the Vine Race Therapy. That's really, I can't wait to look that up because I too like that kind of stuff and I'm fascinated and I started watching The Bachelor at like Trista's season and it was because of my fascination with relationships and how they worked. And I've always been kind of curious about why people fall for the, people they do what uh what in their like childhood led them up to those decisions i've always loved vulnerable conversation it's just always been something inside me that i've really joy enjoyed

having with friends or strangers or family um yeah and i i think i was looking at your tweets and i was tweeting and saying like what a beautiful episode it was tonight of oh my god this is honestly one of my did you get to watch last week like even though you you know you were you were a little busy. A little bit, but that was the only one I've missed. Oh, man. Well, I would definitely encourage watching it, too, because I was going to say, like, last week's episode, you know, the basic TLDR of it is like Ivan went into, you know,

a conversation around, with Tasha, around, like, Black Lives Matter and police brutality and his brother being in prison and his experience is there. And it's just like a conversation we don't get on this show, you know, very often. and especially in this year in these times it's like all that more important and it's just really good to yeah to see it on this show and and i know that some people um i mean obviously oh one thing i did want to say is i really appreciated your support with like the batch diversity stuff and i wanted to like shout that out here uh just because like it about that yeah and and you know like tell people about it if they don't know too um and just what you accomplish

and how you did that because I thought that was incredible. And I do think people like you and people that can get behind it who have a platform or a voice can kind of take a little credit for why the show is moving in the direction they're going because you see how much people want that and crave that out of a TV show where we're like, we love the drama, of course, but let's have some real conversations because that show is always lacking those real conversations.

And if you're going to find a life partner, those are the conversations you should be having. Yeah, no, I hope so. You know, I only think that's the, you know, and hope that's the case. But, yeah, with the batch diversity thing, it was also, so it was started in this Facebook group that I have, which is Brett's Bachelor Buds. Also have to shout out your Facebook group because I was a big, I was and still am like a big member in your group as well. It's just like such a great community in there. That the Vinoes, they're, yeah, they're a good group.

They're a good group. They are. But in the Brett's Bachelor Bud's Facebook group, you know, when, you know, everything with George Floyd was happening and there was this resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement. It wasn't me initially. It was actually a group member posted. Her name's Chloe. She posted something in the group. It was more of a venting post.

It was like, I am like just, I'm so, like, frustrated watching, you know. know what's happening in the world right now and then we were just going into like bachelor greatest of all time and it was just really striking that like every season that was going to be highlighted was like white people like crazy you know i mean like the one black leave they had at the time wasn't even in the rotation i know that was because of like uh i think it was like a copyright thing or you know whatever but the point still stood that it was just like all going to be white people and it was the worst time to just highlight I was thinking that same thing when that was pointed out.

I'm like, whoa, we are highlighting. It was obviously like not good time, but I think it brought so much light to that. And that us as contestants or leads or whoever could actually look back and see the same thing and be like, that's not right. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, so like we, so this person posted this in the group essentially saying like, what can like we do, like me, me in the, in the group, like this person, Chloe, or us as a group collectively due to, like, call for, you know, changed in the franchise because it's, it's just this kind of thing that everybody knows is an issue, yet you kind of like, you know, it's like a tongue-in-cheek

thing, or you like, oh, yeah, there goes, like, all the diversity and it's only like week four, you know, it's just this, like, running thing. And, you know, we're in this Facebook group together and we all earnestly love this show for some you know for some reason like whether it's the fascination with watching people date or you know the connections with each other that we have in this group or i mean i have a lot of connections that i've just made uh you know with with friends or you know podcasting here or whatever it's like that's like really special to me so we weren't really coming at it from a place of like wanting to like boycott this show it was just like we want this thing that we love to be better, you know? And we want more people that we, that we love

to love it. You know, it's really like what it was all about. And yes, the TLDR for people who might not know. In a way where so many people wanted to get behind it because of that reason, you could tell that it was coming from a place of we love this show and we want to see it do better. And that's why all of us were like, us too. Yeah. Yeah. So like the TLDR for people who might not be as like familiar with it. So in this group, we created this petition. And it was really cool to see because we had people in the group who were like graphic designers and who had worked on like political campaigns. There was just all this expertise was coming in. And then, you know, I jumped in. I was like, hey, like, you know, what can I do? I'd really, really love to be involved in this too. So we were all just,

we kind of didn't really have like months to put this together, right? Like, I mean, it was like over the course of like a few days to launch this thing. But we ended up launching this petition. and it was calling for different things because the need jerk reaction is so like, oh, we want diversity on camera, right? And that's obviously important. And, you know, we're getting that obviously with Tasha, with Matt coming up, which is great. But there's, you know, a lot more behind the scenes, you know, whether it's literally behind the scenes with production or things you don't, you know,

think about as far as like, okay, well, you know, you want the people in casting to also have a diverse perspective. You want maybe more active resources being dedicated to diversity consultants so that when you are approaching, like for example, like the conversation last week around Black Lives Matter, you don't want to handle that conversation irresponsibly. You know, you want to be able to have someone who is an expert on that stuff who has experience with that stuff and handling that stuff with care. So we had this list of things where it's like, here are our suggestions, right? Because again to what you were saying it's like we weren't trying to you know boycott this we were trying to like we really want to help like here here's things we thought of you know yeah um have at it

we would love to see some of these right and then my my personal part of it was you know um i feel like i keep like not fully saying this story of like how i got involved in bachelor's stuff but it was through pure fascination with the show and i was fascinated with watching people date and then it just sort of avalanche from there where I would just like tweet like oh like I'm just going to like bullshit tweet like just because I think it's funny like I'm not doing it for for anything and then I thought it was really interesting then interacting with contestants like Olivia Carety was like my first friend in the franchise and I was like oh this is like cool maybe maybe maybe that would that would make sense yeah and and then yeah like I would start having these like little Twitter bantors with people I'm like oh oh yeah I'm like oh yeah I would make sense yeah and and then and then yeah like I would start having these like little Twitter banters with people I'm like oh this is kind of fun, you know. Yeah. And then Mondays would be this thing I look forward to. And then it just really snowballed from there to, you know, where we're at now,

three, four years later where it's like, yeah, it's like a part of my identity, which I don't regret whatsoever because it's really, it's really, yeah, it's really fun. As you shouldn't. Like that's, I mean, there's so many people I know in like off the Vine group, Chad, and all these people who, who just like look forward to your tweets every Monday or whenever The Bachelorette is on, but people look forward to as much as you look forward to doing them, because they're always so spot on whether it's your, do you say Gip or GIF? I know, I know, I mean, that's like a whole controversial thing, but yeah, I know.

I think like the creator says Jeff, but like the creator doesn't know what he's talking about. It's GIF. No, he's wrong. Like, everything that you do is so accurate, that it's so funny. but I did really enjoy tonight just because and I guess yeah I missed last week but I will go back and watch it because I have been creating this kind of conversation on the show since I was on it and I remember trying to have those kinds of conversations where like I wanted to talk to Ben H about religion because I knew he was very religious and I wanted to like hear his thoughts because I'm like well if I'm going to marry him I should probably know that kind of you know background on his life but they you know wouldn't show it and it just it those kinds of conversations are clearly important. And I think we've gotten so used to all the drama on the show and the stupid conversations.

And now they're boring. I think the world has evolved the conversations, just even through 2020, has evolved into things that matter. And the show, I always say, needs to evolve with the times. And they finally are. And so now the tweets are like, you know, we're laughing and we're making jokes, but we're also relating with so many tough conversations and things going on in their lives. And tonight's date when they were on that group date, I'm like, everybody was opening up in like

the most beautiful way. And Keisha said the best line when she went back and she said, this is what happens when you start dating like real men. Because these guys seem to be really in tune with their emotions and what has hurt them in the past and why they are the way they are very vulnerable and open to talking about them on national television, which I think is such a cool thing. Yeah. Yeah.

And like getting at that too, especially seeing it from guys, right? I mean, you look at this show. It kind of models like what the epitome of like masculinity and, you know, macho-energy is. Yeah, grown-ass men, that whole thing. So it's good. And, you know, we'll touch on this on this more, obviously, but just seeing these guys really open up about hard times and sensitive issues and all of that. that still being related to the whole idea of like grown-ass men is like really important. And kind of like tying in the batch diversity stuff with that because I could see some people's

response where I'm like, oh, like I'm watching Bachelor. Like I didn't come here to like get my, you know, moral philosophy lessons. You know, I'm like coming here for comfort food, which I get. But I think that's all the more reason why it's important because it's just like it has such a megaphone. and you know it's just going to reach so many people if you have some of these messages and that that's like what what changes things you know it does whether people whether that should be the case or not you know you're still going to get your bachelor drama you're like i feel like i've said that a million times now but i feel like you're still going to get that you're still

going to tune in and be like oh my gosh these guys are ridiculous or oh look at the fight going on between benet and noah like you're still going to get that stupid bullshit that we all love to tune in for but mix in some of those real conversations and I just think it's such a good thing for everyone watching the viewers I feel like keep getting younger too so it's nice that you can know they're watching that and they're having these kinds of important conversations but yeah I'm I just I thought it was a really well done episode they're doing really great for given the situation that they're all in and I do you think Tasha is just doing an incredible job or what oh my god I mean absolutely you know and I do think that there probably was a little like I think like unjustified harshness on Claire because you know what I think the big part of it is is productions like figuring their shit out like because you know credit to production they were one of the first shows at least to my knowledge that were trying to figure out like what the fuck it looks like the film in a pandemic you know I mean that's entirely new and yeah in the beginning I think there was a lot more just it was just off the off the walls and they

really didn't know what they were doing and they their bread and butter dates that they're usually used to they couldn't do so they're like i don't know just like have them go to claire's room jesus i don't you know i don't know what to do here and then that made that's clear and turn yeah and then it made like claire and turn look bad like one thing i think about is the like the dodgeball date and i don't know like what your your kind of like thoughts were on that but you know like it really they presented it like it was like Claire's idea right where it's like oh it was it was her she like wrote the note to producers to make this happen but I think a big part of that is because they at that point in filming and obviously you know we see Jojo this this episode and everything but when Claire was

filming they weren't really bringing people in yet at least for the very beginning so she had to like own everything she had to really like host everything everything was her idea so she got all the shit for it too with more austa vine grape therapy okay we're going to take a quick break this actually made me l-o-l did you ever think that head-and-should shampoo was just for your dad like i remember growing up and seeing it in our shower and i was always like well it's dad's shampoo but there's so much i did not know about head and shoulders so their products are free of phosphates and dyes and formulated with natural ingredients skincare inspired and contains things like oregano oil vitamin e also helps

And also includes scalp care to prevent dryness, irritation. What we put in our hair really does matter. And when I actually get time to shower and wash my hair, which is less than I'd like to admit, I know head and shoulders has me covered. Support your me time and care for your scalp. We often forget about it and just focus on the hair. But with the head and shoulders, you can do both. I've actually been trying to take really good care of my hair lately after all the dancing

with the stars stuff. So I love anything that's exfoliating on your scalp. And they have an exfoliating scalp scrub, which leaves my hair feeling like salon washed. You know that feeling. You know that feeling. Unlock the best version of your hair and pick up some head and shoulders today. You're listening to Off the Vine Race Therapy. You know what's funny, though, is I think back on to dates that I did, and by I, I mean, production.

And it was men, um, well, in a boxing ring they had to be in sumo wrestling like little thongs and fight each other and some people were so upset at me for how could you put these like you know shirtless men against each other and why do you like violence and why are you turned on by like anger and i'm like do you think do you think the leads really kind of these days absolutely not but yet there wasn't a really tough position and i think because of all the rumors swirling that we already kind of assumed she picked Dale and we're like we'll get this show on the road like okay they're they're together through you know we all had that thought but um I wanted to know who you think are the front runners

for this season because everyone is getting a boner for Zach C and I get it because he seems awesome and he really opened up tonight uh which I thought wow what a you know what a um I want to say brave but I also hate saying brave because I'm like no we should all be vulnerable and talk about these things that would be open. But it is, it is brave. But for him to talk about, you know, how he had a brain tumor at 23, which is, I mean, traumatic. And he clearly, when you go through something traumatic, you can go one of two ways where you, you know, you can deal with something in the right way. Or in his case, he was addicted to drugs or alcohol and he got himself in a lot of trouble. And to open up about that kind of thing, Tatia, when you're on that one-on-one

date, that's, I know being in that position. is one of the scariest things I've ever done and I'm not a shy person and I'm a very open person and being in those situations when I didn't even have that kind of story to tell I was shaking and I was so nervous and you're in front of all these cameras and so for him to tell this story I thought was I just thought it was really yeah I mean I think brave was very no I no I don't know it's like I get like the the gut reaction to not use brave but I think it's courageous and I think it's maybe you can even call it for what it is it just super vulnerable it's tough it's you know it and it's like um there's a lot of pressure because she he's not only opening up to tasha

obviously he's opening up to literally everyone forever is going to know his experiences and that's like a thing to do you know and to reveal that and i'm really really glad he did and then they showed it and that they showed it to the length and to the uncensored um nature that they did. Right. Yeah. I've actually been a fan of Zach C. I didn't, wasn't it you on Twitter? We're like, it's like calling him Zach C feels right even though there's no other Zach's there. Yeah. I guess there wasn't Zach, but it was also like a different Zach. It was like a different Zach with like an H, but he also hasn't been there for a while. But yeah, it's just like Zach C just feels right. I've gotten into a rhythm of it. Yeah. There's something

about it that sticks. That was, I mean, there is two Sean's on my season. There was Sean H and Sean B and Sean B just stuck for as long as Sean H was gone night one but though it just sticks when you when there's a name and initial associated with it Ben H that really stuck like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but but yeah Zach I just and I think you said it on Twitter like he just seems like a normal guy and he's mature and we're not used to seeing like kind of more mature women or men on this show and yeah it just they seem to be having very much really powerful conversations, which is cool. Are you a big Zach C guy?

Yeah, for sure. And one thing I wanted to kind of like highlight, too, because it was something I was noticing, leading into the conversation, about his history with substance abuse and all that and like him talking about the brain tumor. Yeah, I made like the whole like, Zach C feels like the most normal guy here.

And I, you know, clearly people who like knew the conversation that was going to happen. they were tweeting at me being like, oh, you know, you think he's normal now or like just you wait. And I mean, maybe that like was meant in a good way. But I was like, no, like this makes him even more normal, right? Like I was almost like bothered by like that's like, oh, you know, just like get ready. Like a big bomb is going to drop. And it's like, no, it's like I still stand by.

He still seems like the most normal by here regardless of what his experiences were because the whole the whole reason why like both of us, think really love this stuff is because normalizing a stuff is the whole point. You know, when you bring it up, you one, you know, give it this gigantic platform. And then two, the people who have also dealt with that don't feel as abnormal. The whole point is that this is normal. And it's a lot more common than people think. One thing that I actually thought of, because I knew that I was going to chat with you. And I hope you don't mind me bringing this up. I thought of your vlog, the nine to one, right? And when you talk about the Germany, Germany trip with like the boyfriend, because I remember you were talking about like it was like a really like dark period, right? It was. And I, that's why

watching this tonight, I was like, oh my gosh, I mean, a brain tumor is so traumatic. I went through a heartbreak, which I know seems dramatic to say that it was traumatic. But it really was for me in obviously a much different way than what other people go through. But, and I did the same thing. Yeah, I turned to Valium and just took a doctor's advice that I shouldn't have listened to who said, oh, here, take this. And I was like, oh, glorious, feel nothing. Great.

I'll take more and I'll take more. And I went down that same path. I mean, I luckily got out of it pretty quickly. But, yeah, I totally was listening to his story tonight being like, I understand that. And, you know, and I think about if I opened up about that story on, TV. I wouldn't want people to be like, oh, no, you thought she was normal. Wait for this shit go down. And you're like, no, I actually went through something that I'm, am I proud of it? No, but is it part of who I am and why I am here today and what I've gone through? And do I want you to know if

you're going to pick me to marry me? Yes, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. And yeah, I mean, plus like another thing I think about because, you know, obviously like you're coming off quite the week, you know, I mean, you literally like are accomplishing like one of your biggest, dreams ever and yeah like I think it I don't know if like in in the past week when you've been kind of relishing in that feeling if you've like thought about yeah like the time you were in Germany and like it's it's a part of how you get here and I think it makes the moments like you had last week just that much more satisfying you know it's a part of exactly I know a lot of people probably know that story about me if they watch nine to one and if they're listening

sure they did, but it's, I am such a believer and I only feel this way because of going through all of this, but I'm such a believer in hard times and coming through them and growing from them and learning from your mistakes. Like that's, that's such a big part of how I've gotten to live out a dream is because I went through these hard times where I pushed myself out of them and look back on them with gratitude for learning and growing and, and, and, it does make it that much more satisfying. You're right. Even just my journey on Dancing with the Stars was a lot harder than people saw or what they think it was. And again, that too makes it that much sweeter when you can look back on things and go, oh my gosh,

I worked so hard to get here. I was supposed to be on the show five years ago and everyone knows the drama behind that of why I didn't. And I got there because I wasn't afraid to stand up for myself and I wasn't afraid to keep being true to who I was and what I thought was right from wrong and it got me there and I just think that was such a life lesson for for you know owning up to who you are at all times and and even if that means you're like I was rock bottom addicted to Valium and that has a big part of who I am today I think it's important to recognize those struggles to appreciate your achievements yeah and I think too like just because you had, you know, that experience and, you know, then Zach sharing his experience on

the episode this week, you can just empathize that much more with how much of like a slippery slope it can be and like how people can get there. You know, it's not just like, it doesn't, it doesn't start like at stage one and immediately jump to stage five, you know, you can see the progression of events. And then, yeah, like, you know, kind of like what we're all saying is like there's people like listening like right now, right, who are, you know, amongst the vinos who people have gone through similar things and yeah i think it just means a lot to uh hear people especially people who you might look up to and you know just just to realize like oh like they've they've gone through something like that or similar right because you know i know

there's like this thing where you know when you're hearing your experience is there's this need to qualify it where it's like oh it's not like a brain tumor it's a heartbreak but like you know right But, you know, obviously our experiences aren't going to look exactly the same. But the whole point is that there's a lot of shared stuff in there, even if it doesn't look exactly. Exactly. And I saw because I think a lot of people were, like even Jason, for example, he missed the conversation with Ben. And at first we were both like, oh, gosh, what has Ben doing, you know, with all these meaningful conversations? And then Ben gets, like, naked and stands in front of her.

And we were kind of like, what is he? doing? Oh, gosh. And then for him to open up about an eating disorder and struggling for 10 years with something like that. And for women to see, too, that, you know, you always hear about women struggling with body image issues. And I might be even guilty of this myself with only talking about like the pressure on women and women comparing themselves on social media. But you yourself said that you can understand his and empathize with him and that because it doesn't just happen to women. It happens to men, too. And I thought that was huge event to talk about on the show tonight.

Yeah. And I mean, like, you know, I will be, you know, honestly. You know, last week with Ivan's conversation around like Black Lives Matter, and, you know, I very much understood just how important that was. And I just, like, felt how impactful it was. You know, but that being said, I'm like a straight white dude, you know. So I don't personally know what that feels like. I don't know, you know, firsthand, like the difficulties.

that come with police brutality and just what it's like to be a black person in America or in the world. But when I saw Ben's conversation and, you know, like, I don't know, I feel like just to trigger warning listeners potentially. But yeah, like when he's talking about, you know, his eating disorder. And again, it's like kind of what I just said. It's like there's always this urge to qualify it where it's, I think it's still very valid to be like there's a lot more pressure on women and it's still. fair to say that because I mean you look at like media portrayals of women and like just the standards they have to be kept you know all that um you know but I had an eating disorder or like I and again too like it's weird to also put a label on it right it's because I that's always something where

you know for me I don't I don't talk about this very often like I've mentioned it before there's some people who are listening right now we're probably finding out for the first time so there's that whole thing um but I think there's like there was some difficult and putting a label on it because I didn't want to, you know, I didn't have bulimia for 10 years, right? Right. So it's like, okay, well, it's not there. So therefore, you know, what I was going through, you know, wasn't that. It was something else.

It was kind of able to cast it a little bit more. Their journeys. Yeah. Because you don't want to take away from how hard it was for them by saying you can relate if it wasn't as bad in your opinion. But still, I mean, and I think. you would agree with this if I was if it was the other way around and I was having this conversation with you that it doesn't matter the if it impacted you and your life and it's your story and you're sharing it and on a platform it you don't have to justify it yeah right yeah because

you know for me like my my experience was yeah like in college it was dealing with depression I was I was coming off of um I was actually coming back from New York going back to college realizing it was like oh shit I don't want to be in college anymore and I felt lost, you know, I felt just like I wasn't doing the right thing. And there was also like a heartbreak involved, which of course there always is. And, you know, and I think depression or mental health issues, anxiety can often pair, you know, with disordered eating because it's that sense of wanting to get your life together, wanting to control something. And yeah, you know, for me, it was just like not eating. You know, I would just like not eat for, or like eat like a

yogurt for a day and be like that, that was that. And yeah, I didn't tell people for years, you know, because it just, it felt I didn't, I'm trying to actually think about it, because when I was watching the episode, I was trying to think of, at the time it was happening, I don't know if I could have pictured someone, pictured a male, you know, that, that had gone through something like that very publicly. I mean, I think now it's a little bit more discussed. Yeah. Not that this was forever ago, but it was, you know, eight years, something like that.

And that can change, you know, a lot can happen in eight years. And change can happen in eight years. And yeah, I mean, I think it would have meant, I think it would have helped me if I had seen something as silly as like this Bachelor show addressing it, you know. And I think, especially with him talking about, you know, like it being. like this grade school thing because I still like ironically like my my like bully in in high school his name was Ben and I can still remember a comment he said that like you know that that still rings in my brain it was like we were in like middle school or high school gym class and like we were playing football and this guy like you know he passes the ball to me I miss it and he says like oh

if you weren't too busy to eat and donuts you probably could have caught that and then you know stuff like that um and isn't it interesting though how such silly things like that can impact you because you're so fragile in that time of your life that it sticks with you. It does. Yeah. And especially like going off of like it sticks with you. It's I think everybody wants to. And I think sometimes Bachelor or not even just Bachelor, but this is honestly even like media portrayal of trauma in a way. It's like they want sometimes there's this inkling to present the trauma, present how you got over it. Like you, you want to like present it after you've already gone through it right like i'm i'm now through it and like

everything is amazing you know it's it's always in hindsight but with the reality of a lot of this stuff is like it's a consistent thing it's like you think you're good for years and then something happens like you know i mentioned this on twitter too and i think a lot of people probably went through this as well but just like with the pandemic and us being no forced to you know not be living the lives that we usually are, it can, it can bring back bad habits. I can bring back like, you know, when your mental health goes in your directions, other things can come with it. So I definitely had a bit of a resurgence of like that, that time that I definitely had to very actively, you know, fight off. And yeah, it's not, it's imperfect. You know, it's definitely

an ongoing thing for sure. You're right. That is, it kind of of reminds me of grief in a way where grief and I can take heartbreak as grief too that's a loss in my opinion but it's you kind of almost it comes in waves where you like think you're over something and then five years later it could be 10 years later it could be two months later like no matter what it is if something triggers you or if you're going through a hard time other things go hand in hand with that And I think I actually talked about this with somebody. I think it was birds papaya. It's so funny that we call for that.

Yeah, yeah. Isn't she just such an incredible human being? But we were talking about how the pandemic has triggered so many things with people's eating habits. And because you're under stress and people react severely to stress, whether that is with eating or alcohol or anything that you turn to when you're stressed. And I think so many people can relate to going through something as, I mean, it's a pandemic. That's not being dramatic. It is a pandemic. And people are struggling and suffering and stressed.

And even if, like, for example, I'm sitting here being like, I just lived out a dream and so happy. But I still suffer from hormonal depression. Like two days ago, I didn't want to get out of bed because I felt so depressed, even though I just lived out my dream. And I feel guilty about it. But we all have these struggles. And like you said, if you would have just seen something on TV eight years ago, when you were going through something, I think that way all the time with magazines growing up. Yeah, we didn't have social media, but we had magazines that were always commenting on women's bodies and what women should be and how to be sexy. And still very much do.

I saw your, I saw your story of the, what was it like the lip thing or the, I actually not what it was. Jesus. Yeah, it was stars who were addicted to plastic surgery. And I was in their good company with Nicole Kidman and Chloe Kardashian. I was, I laughed at that because I'm like, okay, I'm not getting plastic surgery. And even if I do. It's like that's my decision. We'll be right back with more off the vine, great therapy.

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That's OxyClean.com slash T-R-Y-M-E for a free stain fighting sample while supplies last. This is Austin Vine, Grape Therapy. I think that's why people are so connected to Bachelor contestants because they are so relatable. And so for us to see these kinds of conversations happening, you're like, wow, you are like arguably like a, what do they call it, most eligible bachelors.

And, you know, you think of these people as on this pedestal of like they picked the cream of the crop, the like creme de la creme of these people, but they still have real people every day, a hard struggle that they go through like you and I. And I just think that's why, especially in 2020 we needed to see that on the show yeah yeah there's such like this importance in like presenting because there's still like the creme de la creme like and all that even with the things

they've gone through and maybe especially because of the things they've gone through right and I think that's the most important part of it all right right and it's I mean then you think about I don't I obviously do not know what's true and what's not but when easy when easy went home tonight I saw it coming everyone was so shocked by but I was like, uh, I, you know, there's rumors out there, um, allegations of awful things that he's done and they can't really keep him on the show once those come out. And I don't know how he's dealing with that and, and what's true and what's not. But, um, I wasn't really surprised to see him go. But are there, are there truth to those rumors that you know of? Or are those just

bloggers saying these things? Or is it actual like proof that he's done some horrible things? I think at this point, like none of us can really say, you know, I don't think there's enough proof out there to, I mean, it just feels really slimy to, like, be like, oh, what's the proof, you know? You know, it just doesn't feel, like, appropriate, you know, because I, you know, I'm definitely, you know, of the mindset, like, when people, you know, do share their experiences, especially, like, with, like, sexual misconduct, you know, is the gut reaction is to believe that, you know, so I don't want to immediately jump to, like, this person's lying, like, whatever, because

they don't really have this, there's not really an incentive to. Like, I just don't really get that piece. But, you go ahead. I agree. No,

I was just going to say, I agree, you never, I will, if somebody is a victim to something like that, I will never not believe them because that's, they've probably had that before. And,

you know, that's, I will always believe that person who comes forward and says that. Yeah. I do think like this one's definitely complicated it, because it's one of those, it seems anyway, that it's like an issue around maybe the two people like not getting on the same page as far

as like consent. And I think that happens, you know, that clearly happens way more than it should about just not getting that clear communicative, what is it, like enthusiastic consent, I think is what they call it, you know, inconsistent, you know, enthusiastic consent. But one thing I actually would love to like pick your brain about with with this is like because we've thought about this a lot with like the batch diversity stuff um because i think one way they've definitely they being the franchise has tried to course correct that stuff or at least do a little bit more is this whole like releasing the the cast or the potential cast early before they even start filming you know on their facebook page and all that yeah and then they just sort of let like the reddits and the you know

the twitter you know of the world uh you know things come out and it's worked pretty well like they've They've caught people doing that. But with this, it was interesting because from what I, from what I've read, the accusations more came out when the show was airing. You know, so like the premiere. So I think there's two different pieces to this, right? One is just addressing the situation completely removed from the Bachelor franchise, right? It's like that. That's just like, you know, it's important to not be like she's lying or, you know,

it's like that's, you want to like generally believe, you know, victims. But then the other piece is what the franchise then does, like what their actions can be, like depending on when they get certain information. So when they get information before they even start filming, that's easy, right? Because then they can just scrap it, go home. You never, you never get shown, you know, whatever. if they get, you know, an accusation, like, on Twitter, two weeks until, like, when the show is, that, that's, I can, I can get how that's difficult, because I know they kind of had that with Lincoln, with the Becca season, I think of the Becker season. And, uh, I, I know they kind of, like, just, just hard cut him, you know, like, he went home and they didn't even show it. So that's, that's definitely one way to have to handle it. I think that was a lot more definitive, though, right? Like, that was just, like, they really goofed, you know, like, there was an active case. And, like, they just didn't see it because they weren't, I don't know, I don't know what that due diligence looked like.

But with this, I think it's a little more murky, right? And I get how that's difficult. But I do think it's in the vein of, like, trying to improve this thing I love. I have thought about, like, what can they do? Like, is there, like, some form that can exist on, like, the Bachelor website that's, like, do you have, like, credible? I don't know. Obviously, that feels like on the nose, but just, like, a direct line. have that. Yeah, I mean, I guess like I've seen, you know, more contacting ABC in general and that feels like really contacting the ether. But maybe they do have something that's a little bit more of a direct line. But I've tried to really think about that and what that could look like from a very practical standpoint. And it's interesting to think about it. I feel like everybody wonders the same thing where you're like, they do these crazy background checks and you've

fill out so many forms and you see a psychologist and you do like a personality test and all of these things you're doing that should tell you everything you need to know about putting this person on national television and they're signing everything. I believe there is, you know, or maybe I guess they need to put an extra page in the 39 page contract about something like that because because it does seem to happen in every season. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's just, it's tricky because I think if there's, you know, record of things, whether it's like it's already been in court or, you know, something's on social media, you know, whatever, then you can, if you can point at something and be like, how did you miss this, then that's a little bit more easy to tackle and easy to criticize, but I think if, you know, something that only comes up and it's a little bit more murky and I don't know, it's just, it's, that's where it's, it's tough. It is. Yeah. It becomes, it becomes, it becomes. tricky because also

what are they supposed to do? Like, obviously you want the show to be able to have the power to take responsibility in some way, but like what can they do at that point? You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, I think like the work can they do at that point, that's more of like a post-production move, I guess. Right. Depending on how much, like and depending on I guess like how serious the accusation. are, how credible they are, you know, because I think they did like conduct, not that this is even definitive, but I think they did conduct an investigation from what I read like today and it was

like inconclusive or there was like more to be or something like that. So that's like, again, it's like up in the air because I just, I can, I could talk about this like forever, but I do, I do think there's just like, it's just so hard. It's just like so difficult to figure out what the right thing to do is there once it's already done. You know, obviously, in a, the idealist of circumstances, it's only angel babies who are on the show and they have nothing comes up, but that's not like the world we live in. Yeah. I think we've all had like friends or, you know, people who are like super surprised by where, you know,

it's like we think of them as this, this amazing person and then you find out this detail and you're like, oh, like, you know, stuff like that. Especially when you're on TV. It just magnifies everything. We'll be right back with more off the vine, great therapy. We're going to take a quick break. I know whenever I talk to people about why they don't do therapy, their number one responses, it's too expensive.

But let's have some real talk. How much do you spend on your daily coffees or another sweatsuit that you don't need? I'm the first girl to support a sweatsuit addiction. But don't we think there's more things that are important? Talk space. You can take care of your mental health. without dipping into your savings account. With Talkspace, you can sign up online or download the app,

start therapy the same day with a licensed therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy. Depending on the plan you choose, you can message and schedule live video sessions with your therapist. You'll pay the same amount every month, so it's really easy to budget. Anxiety has been something I openly struggle with and know so many of my listeners do as well.

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That's Vine and Talkspace.com. you're listening to off the vine grace therapy um and then last but not least what are our thoughts on the Bennett and Noah situation because oh my god I cannot with Bennett I'm like ever like Lauren Zima is obsessed I don't know if she still is after tonight but I'm like I'm over it I'm so over it and he's like oh I'm not belittling you and I'm like well your whole like gift box was very belittling i just if he you know if if a however is it 14 years or something a 14 year older man sat down Bennett and did the same thing like you just don't do that oh yeah it's condescending as hell that's what it comes down to yeah what i think sums up my thoughts on Bennett is is

is bringing up your, you're now, you're now pal Tyra there, that moment where she's like, I was rooting for you. We were rooting for you because Bennett, he really seemed like, you know, obviously in the very beginning, it's like, oh, no, like douche canoe to the extreme right off the bat and coming up the limo. And then he had a little bit of this like redemption thing. It's like, oh, this is a cool guy. He's like kind of a character.

You know, I've always said it, and I feel like nobody's agreed to me, but I'm going to bring it up anyway and I'm really going to dig in my heels. I feel like he could remind me of, like, John Paul Jones's older brother who's on, like, the East Coast. He kind of has, like, a similar kind of, like, spacey energy, but he was, like, the older brother that picked on John Paul Jones, and then John Paul Jones moved to California, and Bennett continued to be an older brother Dick and went to Harvard and, you know, yeah. Again, very accurate. This is why your tweets are funny, because it is so accurate. I love the detail. I'm glad you're on the same thing.

I'm glad you're on the same thing. it's like I can't get it out of my head because you know I really think it is like they just both have such a weird way of talking it's just it's not it's it's just like so out there yeah I like how I'm doing hand motions on a podcast but it's just so hey you never know what video footage were using that's true that's true we'll do it for like a teaser but it's just yeah it's just so all over the place you know so I was really rooting for Bennett and yeah he's just So another fun little anecdote is my parents, like, you know, never watch before I watch, but since they know that, you know, I tweet and all that, even though I don't understand Twitter, they don't even know what that is, really. And, you know, they've listened to me on podcasts before and all that.

They've now watched just to, like, appease me. And my mom was just watching this episode with me. And every time Bennett talked, and she was like, this is the worst person. he's the words he she cannot she the the the bennett spell did not affect uh kate star over here my mom um but uh yeah so i think that's my take is like it's really hard to make noa look good and bennett somehow did that tonight i gift giving and all the condescension it's just yeah it was so condescending and passive and i just was like i i'm not like against noah i've never been like not I'm not like rooting for him but I'm not against him he's just kind of there

at this point but you're right the way that Bennett was doing that made me be like okay Noah like I'm rooting for you now yeah you know what's funny is like I do actually and I feel like this is a hot take from both of us but I do agree that like I don't particularly like Noah but I don't hate him either I I feel like we were really designed to hate him, you know, like he was really set up for it. And I think there are some things that he's done that are like, okay, like, you know, what the hell are you doing here? You know, like him clearly kind of reveling in the pot stirring because he definitely not as guilty as Bennett, I will say, not as guilty as Bennett. Because Bennett is obsessed with that damn pot.

But Noah, you know, like at the end of, was it last week or no, it was two weeks ago, I guess. time is fake but uh when he like made it clear that he was the one who said to tasha that like oh yeah all of you well because she he like misled her right and he was kind of like manipulating her in that way where he was saying like oh yeah you know like they're kind of questioning your choices which is uh is in a way kind of true i guess you know that's like the thing that's tough too is that it's not necessarily wrong it's a way that it was presented that i think was probably shitty. But not like the most wrong. Just the packaging wasn't great. Right. Yeah. You're right. And they are both like, I picture the potsters and I feel like

Noah's the little spoon and Ben, it's the big spoon. Oh, absolutely. That's the best way to put it. Yeah. Absolutely. That's how I feel. We'll be right back with more off the line. Great Therapy. Hi, everyone. This is Jillian with Court Junkie. Court Junkie is a true crime podcast that covers court cases and criminal trials using audio clips and interviews with people close to the cases. Court Junkie is available on Apple Podcasts and Podcasts and Podcasts.com. You're listening to Off the Vine Race Therapy. Okay, I have a rapid-fire game before I let you go. It's basically, I'm going to read out categories that you need to give awards to for the men in the

house. So like the Oscars for the Bachelorette. So um, got it. Which man in the house would you give each of the following categories to? Okay. Best dressed. Best dressed. I'm going to have to say Zach C. because he pulled off the lasers so damn well and I was jealous. Those shoes? Those shoes? Just like the, the, the designs of those jackets. Oh, yeah, you're right. I couldn't do it. Okay, fair enough. Um, nicest smile. I think it's got to go to, well... You have a good smile, so you've got to be hard-judge on the... Oh, no, okay.

It's probably Bennett, honestly. You know, I don't want to say Bennett, but he's like... He's like the one that really jumps out of me. He kind of has, like, that Superman-esque thing going on. So I don't want to give him the award, but no one else is really... The first thing I thought of, which wasn't even true was Spencer, but his his eyes. If there's an eyes award, Spencer gets there. Like kind eyes?

He just has, like, really, like, beaming blue eyes that, like, pierce your soul. He does. You're right. Okay. Most likely to go on another reality show. Oof. Let's see. I'm going to say, I have to like do a little review in my head. Probably, I don't know, like Bennett could be there. I mean, well, I mean, like Paradise is definitely been. I mean, probably Bennett. I mean, Benet is such like a character made for this. It's perfect. I actually, while writing out all of these awards I'm like I could see Bennett for all of these I had like worse attitude

or most entertaining facial expressions like Bennett wait is that a rule where like where it's kind of like superlatives that you can't give the same person all of them so should be like thinking because I was going to say Noah too because Noah I could see on like one of those

like X on the beaches shows where it's like maybe not the first person you think of but he comes out of the water yeah I could see it yeah or like what's that other one that a lot of reality stars do um it's like a competition but also they like flirt in there but they can be taken but they can be single do you know what i'm talking about um i'm trying to think oh that's like um temptation island is that it no it's called like

the something the challenger the challenger oh the challenge it could just be the challenge i don't know maybe the challenge i can't remember it's i just feel like it might just be the challenge yeah yeah remember um okay most likely to end up with tasha i'm gonna say i'm like rooting for ben i think especially after this episode you know i mean it's just uh i think he had a really good showing um i guess like it in more ways than one i guess um i'm gonna say i'm ben and um brenden i keep is it brandon or brend oh yeah it's brend brend brend brend yeah brandon i keep MVP for me he's just he's so consistent he's he doesn't realize how funny he is he's a great he's great at conversation he's funny he's cute like I just feel like he has all the things

and I love his energy with Tasia so I'm like really rooting for him you know what brand who Brendan kind of reminds me of what he kind of has like a similar energy as well's because it's kind of like not not not the same kind of like matured ismo energy that you usually get from, like, Bachelorette, like the guy's there. But it's just kind of like this dark horse favorite that it's like the, I mean, it's like the guy that like all of my friends have a crush on who are actually watching the show. They don't have a crush on like, you know, the chastons and the, you know, and the, well, they, Ben, yeah, they do.

But, you know, it's more Brendan. It's more Brendan. Right. Yeah, I agree. I think he is, if I'm going to predict, that's who I want to win, I don't know, spoilers so but that's what i'm telling myself because that's who i'm rooting for yeah okay yeah both you know what i will say too like and i we said it at the top of the episode but what's nice is there are i think at least four people that i or five that i'd be like hell yeah like or sit

no it's more than that it's like probably six or seven that like that's a great that's a great guy like if she if she ended up with him i would be like real into it um jason always um it which just speaks Like how good the, yeah. You go ahead. I interrupted you. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, you're all good. I was just going to say, like, it just speaks to how good the guys are on the season.

The fact that, like, I'd be happy with Ivan. I'd be happy with Ben and Brendan and all these other people. That's, you're right. That's what Jason always goes with who he would go grab a beer with. He's like, I'd go grab a beer with that guy. And it's like every guy the season except for Bennett. Well, actually, he's never said that. I actually don't know if he likes Benham.

or not but he's every guy's like I grab beer with him I'd grab beer with him I'd grab beer with him I'm like yes I get it I understand that mentality because they all seem like pretty stand-up guys is there is that an award is that uh who do you most want to grab a beer with or grab a glass of wine with I don't know which one yeah let's do that class well I feel like that also different like wine would probably be Bennett beer would be not Bennett I'm but like let me actually answer it okay no Brent I mean I think Brendan wins that again I think Brendan is that it. I do too.

I think he does too. I'm trying to think of who are we missing? Okay, there's Ben, Brendan, Bennett, Noah. Really like, oh, you know who we didn't really talk about? I think we definitely put the therapy and grape therapy. Yeah, we did. But we kind of jumped over Riley, Riley talking about his mom on the group date. That was like another, you know, huge.

And I think if that was like in an episode by itself, that would have been the moment that everybody's talking about. I think people will too still. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, that was just so powerful too. And something we never see on this show. And no, he's like another, he's a big favorite of mine and also DeMar. I really like those two a lot.

I do too. I do too. You're right. I mean, how can you pick it? They're all, I can't wait to see them next week every week. Like, I'm like, can't wait to see what they talk. about or bring to the table next week. And I'm like at this point, I'm going to get sad to see people go. Yeah. Yeah. No, absolutely. I'm like way more invested now. Yeah. I do think Tasha's done an

amazing job as the lead. And yeah, like giving it, giving all the guys like opportunity to just like show how great they are. You know, I think she's doing a great job doing that. She has. You're absolutely right. Well, thank you so much for doing this great therapy with me. It was very therapeutic. And I feel like it was it was a great podcast episode that I know people will love to hear because, again, we love real conversations and talking about this kind of thing. And it's nice to recap The Bachelor, but also have real conversation. So thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's room for both.

Yes, absolutely. And let's podcast again sometime. If I'm ever in New York, that would be lovely because I love podcasting in person with people. Yeah, absolutely. Also, I'd love to take it. So I haven't really said this to people, but I'm actually going to jump into the podcast game myself. I was going to tell you, too. I literally, when we were first talking, I was like, I thought to tell him he should start a podcast.

Yay, good for you. When are you going to do it? So I'm going to start with a friend of mine. Her name's Camilla. And she's just backstory on this. It's something I thought about for a while, right? Like I love going on podcasts. I've been doing it for, you know, fortunately with,

with a good amount of people for a good amount of time now. And it adds this different layer, right? Like I think a lot of people are familiar with, you know, my tweets and like reaction memes and stuff like that, which is all fine and good. But I do really enjoy like this conversation with you where we really get into the, you know, the meat and potatoes of it all and really get into our feels and all of that. Oh, I love getting into it. Yeah, exactly.

And so I've thought about it for a while. But I just, you know, was letting fear get in the way for the most part, being like, oh, it just seems really overwhelming to get into. So I kind of like put it off for a while. And then I was talking with my friend Camilla this this summer. And we were just catching up. We hadn't seen each other in months just like because it's life now. And, yeah, we were catching up about life. We were catching up about like latest and bachelor.

When it wasn't even on, I should also say. And we were talking about, you know, both of those things. for hours and when we were talking it just really slapped me in the face like oh like this person would make like the perfect uh you know co-host to do this with friend to do this with if i'm going to brave into this world a bit like unknowingly um then like i couldn't think of like a better person to do it with and she has like some oh go ahead i think you'd be really good at that because um not just because you're good at conversation but because you are willing to talk about feelings and certain things that happen in life and like but also bring the humor of

reality TV your relationships into it and I think what would make your podcast really great is because you're you would be doing it because you really love doing it. It's not like you're jumping into the podcast space to be like oh I got to get another you know thing on the resume or I try and make money off this. It's like you're like I genuinely enjoy these conversations which will make it a good podcast. Yeah. Well, thanks so much. So it's yeah. So it's called a we'll do a little drum roll i don't know if you can oh you have a name okay yeah yeah so it's called baby got batch you like what i did there well baby got batched i'm all about puns i can't believe my podcast that's kind of a pun actually off the vine off the cuff yeah yeah yeah that's

great you did it looks thanks so much yeah yeah so i think we have you know we we just did like a little teaser thing because we're not going to start until mad season we might do um some get to know us episodes and all that in a few weeks. But we're really excited to like launch for Matt's season. It's Baby Got Batch Pod on Instagram is where we'll post some stuff. But yeah, I'm really, really excited and, you know, a little nervous and I really want people to listen and really like their conversations. But again, we're going to be figuring a lot of this stuff out as we go and I'm really

excited to do that. Well, I think that's the most fun part. Chris Harrison actually gave me the best compliment the other day and he's from when he was on my podcast and then he listened to my one with his girlfriend Lauren Zima and he was like you've really come a long way with your interviews and I didn't really think about it and I was like wow thank you so much for saying that because you have to know that at first

it is about working out the kinks figuring out a groove seeing what people like and unfortunately what people don't like and it you have to hear that kind of feedback to to grow as a podcaster and as a host but if you have any questions or want a guest or anything I am here and yeah oh my god I would love to have you yeah and like yeah you know whether it's a remote shenanigans if we're still you know in this or you know eventually in Nashville New York absolutely would love to have you and of course I'm probably going to be in your DMs panicking when I get my first bad review oh my gosh I will be there for you

you can talk to you about anything but take take the bad reviews as you know how you kind of got wean out the trolls with certain things like sometimes i'm like you clearly are trolling me because you like want to affect me and hurt my feelings and you made up an account and like i'm kind of feeling sorry for you or there's ones where you're like okay you're being a little harsh but i hear where you're coming from even though it hurts my feelings and my ego i got to take that in consideration for the next one yeah right yeah you can definitely parse like where they're coming from you know with their intention is yeah and it's it's about your listeners so it's and people will you know tune in regardless because if they're tuning and it's because they enjoy what you have to say.

And so you'll you'll have a good little community that you have already built yourself. So tell me if you need any help. And thank you again for coming on the podcast and having this great combo. Yeah, thanks for having me. Also, I wanted to shout out Jason with the restart reset stuff. Like, it's just been such a week slash month over there. Oh, he honestly works so hard at that. And it's really cool to see it coming into fruition because,

I mean, he really, he really works very hard on that. And he's very good at it. And he's so smart and has so much to offer that I'm like, I just wish everybody was like, like, go sign up for his newsletter. Even when I'm, like, reading through my emails, like I signed up for his new newsletter. And I'm like, wow, that is the shit we need to know. Like, this is important stuff. So it's really cool.

But he'll be happy you say that. He loves following you on Twitter too. Aw, shucks. Awesome. Well, good luck with everything, and then we'll talk soon and you just reach out whenever you need. Sounds good. All right. This is amazing.

This is like I feel like I really just went through a therapy session. Yeah, me too. That's what great therapy is for. And I do too. I'm like, I'm going to sleep well tonight. Yeah, yeah, feel good. I feel like it's satisfying. Yeah.

And you know what? No charge. Free 99 for you. Oh, my God. Not bad at all. Not bad at all. Thank you so much. I'll talk to you soon.

Thank you so much for listening. Your session is now ending. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast 1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's going with OTV?