Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Grape Therapy: Bachelorette Recap with Sensitive Singing Ginger JP Saxe
Episode Date: November 18, 2021If the world was ending, you’d watch The Bachelorette with me, right? Grammy-nominated singer songwriter JP Saxe joins Kaitlyn to talk about his career, his lovely girlfriend who got him in...to the Bachelor franchise, and this week’s episode of The Bachelorette! Kaitlyn and JP have a lot in common: they’re both currently on tour, they both are Canadian, and they both agree that the things that made you a nerd in high school are the things that make you cool now. JP is a sensitive singing ginger who is redefining what strength means as a man, one song at a time. The two chat about their top picks for Michelle, which song of his has a Bachelor reference, and why they just don’t trust Martin. Plus, he shares not one but TWO confessions and they wrap it all up with a game of hypotheticals. Make sure to check out JP’s new deluxe edition of “Dangerous Levels of Introspection” and follow him on the ole’ gram at @jpsaxe . CHINET - Chinet Brand makes premium disposable tableware for all of life’s gatherings. Visit mychinet.com to find out more. APARTMENTS.COM - The most popular place to find a place. GEICO - Go to geico.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. It’s GEICO-easy! TALKSPACE - Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code VINE. NATIVE - Go to Nativedeodorant.com and use code vine to get 20% off your first purchase at checkout! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Who's on with OTV?
Podcast One presents Off the Vine, Grape Therapy.
Caitlin Bristow's going to answer your question.
Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor.
Let's shake it up some more.
Here's Caitlin.
Welcome to Grape Therapy.
I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow.
Your session is now starting.
Okay.
when I found out that this incredible singer-songwriter
was also a huge Bachelor fan.
I knew I had to have him on for a recap, ASAP,
and I'm so glad I did.
And then I found out that he's Canadian, too,
and I was like, okay, well, this is just meant to be.
You probably found yourself listening to,
if the world was ending, you come over a lot this past year.
I mean, it was nominated for a freaking Grammy,
very timely.
And all of his other amazing, authentic music
that just freaking pulls at my heartstrings every time I listen.
J.P. Sachs and I talk all about
his career, the meaning behind his music, especially track number five, if you know, you know,
how he got into The Bachelor World and what he's thinking about this season and this week's
episode. I had a really, really great conversation with him. I think you guys are really
going to like this one. It was so much fun. Enjoy. Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you. So nice to meet you.
I found out you're a fellow Canadian. I am a fellow Canadian. Oh my God. Where did you grow up?
In Toronto.
In Toronto.
Okay.
I grew up in Alberta.
Real Canada.
Wait, explain.
I agree, but explain.
Well, you know, there's growing up in Toronto and Vancouver and then there's growing up
in like Canada, Canada.
Yeah, I agree.
Toronto, Vancouver feels like a smaller New York or L.A.
Exactly.
I've never been to Alberta, but I'm touring there in February for the first time and I'm so excited.
Oh, that's, okay.
Are you going to like Edmonton?
and Calgary. Yeah, exactly.
You'll pass through my hometown, which is La Duke, which is like this small little sad town
that's between Red Deer and Edmonton. But you probably won't have time then to go visit
like Bant for Jasper, hey? Probably not. But I'm hoping to see the Northern Lights,
because I've never seen them. I also think there's got to be some Canada points for touring
Alberta in February. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to bring your like Tuk and your Parker.
The toque, exactly. Took is a giveaway for my Canadianness. I forget that that's not a word people use in California.
I know, I do it all the time still. How long have you been in the States for?
Almost 10 years.
Oh, well, shit. You really have no excuse.
You know, I was surprised how many Canadians are integrated into the Bachelor world. It's kind of like the music industry.
Canadians quietly running the show.
Yeah, it's true.
Wait, okay, there's a rumor.
I cannot confirm or deny that Clayton is the next Bachelor.
Why do I think he's Canadian?
No, he's not.
Is he?
I literally said that to the touring squad 30 minutes ago.
No.
So I was watching the newest episode, and I just kept looking at Clayton.
I was like, this guy gives me heavy Bachelor vibes.
Hmm.
He does.
He definitely has the, like, the Bachelor look that they usually go for.
You know, the All-American football guy.
it's so interesting though because if he is the bachelor they really have not been giving him that like bachelor edit that would make you like really fall in love with him before he goes on to his own season so i'm very curious
i mean we'll see what happens next but he definitely has the bachelor jaw bachelor jaw yeah that chiseled bachelor jaw fair enough why what is this little dinosaur you got on your bed that's adorable yeah it was a fan gift and it was we were using it in a video earlier and i decided to just leave it there it says emotional support bear on it
but it's like an emotional support Raptor.
I think it's because I'm a big Rafters fan.
I think that's where it started.
Oh, that makes sense.
Okay, that makes sense.
I love that you just have it dropped up on your bed.
That's really cute.
Okay, I also read somewhere that you were 14 when you wrote your first song.
And like, I'm trying to think about where my brain was when I was 14 and it was literally
like, I have a crush on a boy and then I go to ballet class.
Like what?
Have you always just been this like deep human beings?
and that could just write?
Is it just in your blood?
Like, what are you writing about at 14?
I mean, it wasn't all that different
from what you just described.
Okay.
The first song I ever wrote,
it's an embarrassing name,
but just keep in mind,
I was 14 years old.
The first song you ever wrote was called
I'm just to me to have you.
Wait, I kind of like that.
You know what?
It's not inconsistent
with the songs I'm writing now.
It's not too far away.
14.
Yeah, I was, I was introspective as shit even then, and I was just, you know, I was such a nerdy kid, right?
Like, being a sensitive singing ginger is far less cool when you're 14 than when you're 28.
I've come into my own, in this era of my life, where all of the things that you got made fun of as a man for when you were in high school are now the things that everyone is looking for.
isn't that interesting i i always love like the comeback story of a nerd in school because those are
always the ones that like you're like the real people who have depth and you're like okay high school
whatever watched what i'm going to do later in life and i feel like that's what matters like all
the people you know when you go to like your high school reunion and the people that you really thought
were like the it people the cool popular people and then the nerds like i'll come back with like great
jobs and they're like so happy and married and living out their dreams and then the cool people
are like they don't even show up sometimes I love it no I couldn't agree more I think what it takes
to succeed in high school is very different than what it takes to succeed in life and also like
throughout high school and you know my late teenage years most of my friends were women I was just
such a sensitive I've always been such a sensitive human and I love talking about my feelings
and shit, I've always loved it. But over the last like three, four years, now I just have this
squad of really emotionally intelligent men who are equally a part of like my friend family.
And it took a sec, but I'm happy to be there in life. I'm happy to have arrived at that kind
of community. Hell yeah. Yeah, I love that. That's so interesting. Like sensitive souls make for the
greatest songwriters and musicians. So it's like you're channeling that into
something you obviously have a talent for
but I've been doing a podcast tour
which is so very different
from being like musically talented
I just like I could walk out there and like fart
and the crowd's like
I don't have to do too much
but you like
you must just get so tired
but the adrenaline and obviously
in the fans and everyone that you get to meet
keeps you going and then
you just crash so hard and is it exhausting
because I'm on like
my fourth city and I'm like
I can't do it anymore.
Well, I mean, when you do your podcast tour, like, are you talking, I mean, you must be.
You're talking about things.
You're passionate.
Right?
You're having conversations you want to be having.
I mean, I've yet to find my limit on, on emotionally crashing and burning.
And I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we were locked in our homes for a year
and a half.
And I was so desperate to have this connection with the audiences again that I've been
quoting mean, mean girls with the team.
Every time I tell them, I'm like, I just, I don't.
think there's a limit. I think I could just keep doing it. And then everyone's like,
the limit does not exist. The limit is not. Remember that scene? Classic. Classic.
I get to go up on stage and, you know, talk about the most, you know, personal parts of my life.
But I, I, things that might be scary if I was just having a conversation because I'm singing
these things and I have all of these people singing those things along with me. It really
shifts what feels powerful. That's a good point. That's a good point. For some reason,
I think for artists, it's so much easier for you guys to sing it than say it.
And is that about maybe just connecting with a crowd?
Because I feel that way even like podcasting.
When I'm podcasting one-on-one, like I love it,
but there's something different about when the crowd is there,
like feeling everything you're saying and laughing out loud at the jokes you're making
and like you really get to connect with the people that are, you know,
connecting with you every day without you even noticing.
Totally. It is, it's, there's something about that validation that like the stimulus in front of people like that where, you know, I even, I have a song I wrote with Marin Morris in the first lyric of the song is there are things that I sing that I never have the confidence to say. Really? Which is 1,000% true. And Marin and I were having a conversation about how real that is in both of our lives. There are things we have put in songs that would be tough to say to my closest friends.
I was even talking with my manager before we talked, and she was like, we're talking about, like, you know, am I going to tell an embarrassing story or whatnot?
And she was like, what about the story from track five on the album?
I was like, no, I couldn't possibly tell that story.
Yeah, you're singing about it.
In the song.
Millions of people have heard that.
I'm like, no, no, no, I can't possibly talk about that.
Well, now you have to.
I guess I walked myself into that, didn't I?
You really did.
You really did.
But I feel like, again, it was a really great segue.
I appreciate that because it's just going to transition so well
into a little story here.
So the floor is serious.
Well, so I guess on the subject of things being easier to sing than say,
I do think there's also, it's kind of like a magic trick to take the parts of your life
where you feel the most vulnerable and the shyest.
And if you can put them in something people can sing along to,
all of a sudden it feels really powerful.
There's a leak of one of my songs that goes
It's a song called I Shouldn't Be Here
It's like we paid a visit to a past life
Where I was still yours and you were mine
And nothing had changed at all
I couldn't get it up for you the first time
Like my body knew it wasn't meant in you
Or maybe it was just the Adderall
I shouldn't be here
I shouldn't be here
Oh, I got goosies
That's the first that's the first first
What song is that? Have I heard it?
It's called I Shouldn't Be Here
I think it's track four, might be track five.
I really just love the name of it.
That's how much you my brain is.
I was like, what's on?
It's that.
Yeah, it's call I shouldn't be here.
It's on the album.
And I wrote it as a poem.
Yeah.
Being somewhere that I shouldn't have been with someone I haven't been there with.
Okay.
Sometimes we, sometimes intuition shows up in different forms, you know, and our, our subconscious has ways of showing us where we should and shouldn't be.
you're like thank you for that one exactly i was like no this is not my moment this is not my moment
do we get to expand on this embarrassing story or is that it i'm like tell me names give me details
i did a bad job of going back to the wrong love for a long time and not trusting that in order to
find the right love i needed to leave space that was hard to leave i couldn't just fill that
space because love is the best thing in the world right and i think we're also we're all so excited
about having it that sometimes we'll choose the wrong love over no love and i've certainly done that
but i had to realize that until i filled that space with the wrong thing i was never going to be
open to the right thing oh amen i feel like so many people that are listening to this right now are
probably like clapping at home like yes preach so true I hope so love is the best so sometimes
we we pick the wrong kind that's very true it's actually I mean I've done that so many times but
even just like hearing other people say it like like it's so beautiful that we all want love
but picking the wrong love sometimes like you it is confusing like you're like is this
what love is supposed to feel like and then you go through different relationships where
like it's an unhealthy love
and then you get into a healthy love
and you're like,
but this is really easy,
is that how it's supposed to be?
And then it's confusing.
Totally.
And I think I have to take some responsibility
on behalf of the songwriting community
for perpetuating the idea
that dysfunction and toxicity
is part of romance.
Well, it's part of a lot of our experiences.
Yeah.
I think there's just so many
you know this hurts me but I like it songs yeah and look and I've been this I've done this as much
as anybody else it's the only reason I feel like I can talk about it is because I have been so
fucking bad at it yeah I think like in almost every part of our lives right if something's
if something takes a lot of work it's really hard to do it means it's more worthwhile you know the
harder it is to achieve something the the more value it has and I think that's in almost every
part of our life except for love but like we tell ourselves like oh shit this is so hard and it's so
hard to get you to meet me halfway and it's so hard to get you to open up and it's so hard to get
you to trust this but if so fact though it's so hard so it's so hard so it must be so beautiful and
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Now back to Off the Vine Grape Therapy.
I always love interviewing songwriters because you're just
intelligence level of being able to like express things that you're saying is so
beautiful. And like I feel that way about all your lyrics and your songs. And you've said
before like you just want to be as honest and as yourself as possible. Do you think that
it's just gotten easier and easier over time? Because I know you said that you kind of
like that in high school, like you always had women around you because you expressed your feelings
and you connected with them. So is this just something that's always been in you or does it get
easier with age? It was definitely harder when I was younger. Yeah. It was harder because
I thought, you know, being strong was somehow contrary to who I was naturally. I thought like
being a quote-unquote strong man was meant being something other than myself.
and you know redefining like what strength is a man means is like something I think about a lot
because I'm surrounded by all of these like amazing mature secure men who are also very nurturing
compassionate and emotionally connected to themselves but like you know it's the toxic masculinity
that like we are just raised in and it just seeps into us like from the moment we're
fucking born really like tells us that you know strength
is our ability to hide our emotions, not to own them.
And it took me a long time to come to terms with that.
Yeah, I mean, you talk about being a songwriter
and that you, you know, are part to blame
for putting out ideas of relationships.
But look at the Bachelor franchise.
They're like Vikings being like,
everybody's screaming, even flexed and like,
you eat this meat and you will fight to the death.
There was straight up real Vikings on the last episode.
It's funny.
I actually was going like I had just
woken up one morning and I was going to the
like crew meal where they have so much
delicious food on the third floor of the hotel
or I get in the elevator and I'm still half asleep
and there's just four Vikings just like,
good morning.
And I walked in and I was like,
I was like, oh, okay, I forget where I am.
Like you must be a part of the date.
And they're like, no, they're like trying
to trick me, and I just had to ride the elevator with these four sweaty Vikings.
It was actually quite hilarious, but yes.
A lovely morning.
I actually have a question for you.
At what point in the Bachelor casting did they decide everyone was going to be a bodybuilder?
Because I remember watching The Bachelor with my mom when I was younger, when I was like 12, 13 years old.
Yeah.
Normal-looking people on these shows.
And now, everyone looks like they're.
on the cover of like fitness magazines how did this happen you know what i'm trying to pinpoint
a moment in time where this happened and that's a really good question because i too have watched
this since the beginning and i mean there was always a couple in there but it was it's interesting
that now like in the times we're living in where you want to like celebrate all shapes sizes and
colors that they are going like with the everyone who looks like they are in a bodybuilding contest
That's, yeah, I wonder why.
I mean, it would make, if they weren't all bodybuilders,
it would make the trope of the date
where they beat each other up
a little bit more complicated.
Yeah, because we all know they're going to have those
in every single season.
Totally.
Like, you have Michelle out there saying,
like, I just need you to be vulnerable
and open with me.
Now beat each other up with a teddy bear.
Yeah, I need to circle back
just because before we get into Bachelor's stuff,
I wanted to tell you that the song,
if the world was ending,
which everybody's obsessed with,
which is totally makes sense
because it's one of the greatest songs
ever to be written.
And it's really powerful.
And I wanted it so bad to dance to you
on Dancing with the Stars.
It was my number one song.
I'm like,
please can I dance if the world was ending?
Like, that's what I want to dance to.
And they gave it to Neve,
who was the runner up.
I ended up winning,
but he was the runner up.
And he got to dance to it.
And I was like, no, it's such a good song.
Thank you.
I wish they would have let you dance to it.
I would have loved to have seen that.
yeah and thank you i mean that song changed my life and i'm real grateful for it yeah and it's a cool
story behind it too because i mean it's with you and your girlfriend julia michael's which i also
have a funny story about that my girl who gives me facials i think knows julia and or met her
from giving her a facial like some sort of skin treatment and she was like playing the song
and elizabeth like cranked it up and she was like i love this song and julia was like
that's my song
I get an idea
it's so cute
but you guys
you guys met to write that
song and wrote it on the first day
you met right?
Yeah, yes
we wrote it the day we met
I asked her out that night
come on
which I had never done before
I always maintained
I would never date another songwriter
yeah you all say that
totally
which is you dating another
bachelor I contested
Exactly. Exactly. It's exactly true. I always said it. I'll never date another one. Now I'm engaged.
Congratulations, by the way.
Thank you.
But I think it's a nice little metaphor for love always being better than our ability to come up with what it should be.
So, yeah, I asked her out that night. This also was a contender for my embarrassing story.
Oh, I get two.
I don't know what had come over me. I think it was like a combination of things. It was like the buzz of
song feeling so good and you know i'd also just gotten some really difficult family news like
four days before meeting her just like in a particularly like i don't give a fuck i'm just gonna do
what i want kind of headspace life is short yeah i can let anything keep me from telling people
how i feel so i hit on her pretty blatantly after our session like i asked her what she was doing
after we wrote and she said, I'm going out for drinks with some friends. And I go, you should invite me to that.
Aw, that's awesome. And then she did, and then we danced. And she has this story of me dancing like I was
pretending to be different types of trees, which I hardly remember. And then we...
That's called contemporary dancing. Good for you. Totally. I'm the worst dancer on the planet.
So the fact that this worked somehow is mind-boggling to me. Sometimes that's endearing.
yeah I guess and then we shared an Uber with a bunch of her friends back we lived at the time we lived together now but at the time we lived pretty close together
so we should move back with a group of friends she put her head on my knee and the Uber I was like it's a rat like she lights me back what a lovely evening this has been and then I I texted her like when can I see you again and she pushed back she's like I'm not sure that's a good idea oh I hear you but that means you'd want to right
And she goes, yes, I'm just like, we like had this cute push and pull.
And then I said something, you know, I don't remember exactly what it was.
Oh, no, no.
I said, I well, look, I've got a lot of friends and a lot of songs that I love and not a lot of people that made me feel the way you did tonight.
But if you just want to be friends, fine.
And she didn't answer until the next morning.
And I was texting all my friends being like, I hit on Julia Michaels too hard.
I hit on Julie Michaels too hard.
I ruined it.
And then back the next morning
We wanted to date the next day
And five days later
I asked you with my girlfriend
And now we've been together for two and a half years
Oh, that's awesome
I love that
And you live together
That's like
That's real love
When you live together
And you can see each other
At your high highs and low lows
That's all you need
I don't know how people
Don't live together before they get married
Like kudos to them
And that's their decision
I just don't get it
I'd have to live with somebody before
I knew.
Yeah, I couldn't do that either.
It seems like you're getting into a lot
without any prior research.
Right, yeah.
It would be like getting engaged
at the end of a TV show.
That's exactly what it's like.
How stupid is that?
I would have to argue as well
that you actually get to know somebody
on such a deep level on the show.
I mean, they don't show it
until it's literally like your final three people.
That's when you really get to know these guys
and like talk about such important.
deep things and meet families and like go through all those necessary steps to like at least
consider a proposal but i mean the rest of the show is just it's funny it's a funny show
it's fun to watch i mean a big part of julia my quarantine over the last year and a half was just
cuddling up in the couch drinking boba and watching bachelor franchises yeah absolutely i mean okay
what's your favorite out of all them bachelor bachelor bachelor or paradise the most recent season of
Paradise was a lot of fun. It was a good one. It was a really good one. There was a lot happening.
A lot went on. I think that was probably the most invested in, although we've definitely watched
every season that happened during quarantine. So you watched with your mom years ago. Have you
missed and jumped back in and got on the train again? Or have you been like a loyal bachelor watcher?
No, no. There's a significant gap. Okay. So it was like watching as like a 12, 13,
14, 15-year-old with my mom
in Southern Ontario.
And then I watched for probably like
10, 11 years.
Oh, okay. Big gap.
Started watching again
with Julia
during quarantine, but got.
I got so invested
that like it made its way into a song.
Stop.
Yeah.
The second, it's a song called Hold On to Me
that's on my album.
And the second verse is,
I became an overnight fan
at The Bachelor.
became an overnight fan of the Raptors.
Ah, that's good.
It's about our healthy slash unhealthy enmeshment process.
I like that.
That actually works well with each other.
Is she a Raptors fan now?
Yes, she has a Raptors jersey.
She knows the players' names.
Wow.
That's like me becoming a Bill's fan overnight.
I was like football, CFL, I don't know, NFL.
Okay, fine.
I'll go with the Bills because Jason like eat,
eat, sleeps, breathes, bills, mafia.
So I really had no choice, but it's fun because I've joined at a time where they like to win.
Yeah, that is good timing on that.
There's something very romantic about adopting your partner's sports team affiliation.
I agree.
I think it's really sweet.
And it says a lot about my heart that I would go after through the bills and, like, really commit to it like that.
Totally.
I think it's, you know, it's taking a step towards the person you love.
Yeah.
I think, I mean, maybe the first couple episodes I watched with Julia was for her, but by, like,
like episode three, that was for me.
11 people admit it.
There's so many men out there that go, well, my wife makes me watch it.
And you're like, I get it, but also you enjoy it.
No, no, no.
I'm involved.
I'm volunteering for podcasts now.
I'm for most of the day-to-day catching up on the last two episodes, and I enjoyed every
moment of it.
It was not the same without Julia, because, like, I really wanted to yell about Martin with her.
What did you want to yell about?
Martin, does he drive you nuts?
I just think talking shit about other girls,
like the you're not like other girls line,
is Red Flag 101.
Red Flag 101.
I totally agree.
And like the whole, like we get it, you're from Miami.
Well, some girls are high maintenance there,
but what is that?
Like, why would you ever say that on national television
while your mic is hot,
like that was a good idea.
Like, I don't want a girl who's high maintenance.
girls can be high maintenance and still be like the best human beings on the planet
yeah absolutely and I think you know sometimes the people who give the most love or the people
who need the most loved why would you not want that right that's true actually that's very true
high maintenance women can also be the best lovers I'm also high maintenance is so it's the whole
thing like the way he said it the way he defended it he didn't quite get it I just think that was
That was not the vibe, in my opinion.
And I was, like, really wanting to commiserate with Julia on that one, but it's not
without her, but I still very much enjoyed it.
Would you go back and watch it again with her, or she's somewhere else watching it,
and you guys just can't watch it together?
So usually, if we're not in the same place, we'll, like, both watch on our laptops while
we're on FaceTime.
Yeah, yeah, I love doing that.
You didn't do that today, but I will definitely watch it again with her.
Or I'll let her watch it, and then we'll debrief.
But I know she's going to be, because she already had kind of an intuition, bad feeling about Martin.
Yeah.
He looks like, and not, no, this is going to maybe seem, because, I mean, props to all the guys who own strip clubs.
But he just looks like a strip club owner to me.
A little bit.
He's got my brow.
It's just, I don't know.
Yeah.
I just, there's something, there's something, a vibe about him that I don't trust and tonight confirmed it.
Yeah, that was definitely like, it was what we needed to.
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vine. This is Off the Vine. Grape Therapy. Okay, so who are your favorites? I was not that,
okay, Caitlin, it's not about you. It's not your season. I was like, I wasn't in this episode at all.
It's fine. Who's your favorites, like top three right now for Michelle?
Okay, well, wait, quick note on you not being in the episode, though, that I just have to say.
Julie and I are devastated that you and Tasia aren't continuing on as the hosts.
Really?
I think it's a massive mistake.
Okay.
I'm definitely not taking that out of the episode.
I'm going to use that as like the clickbait.
I'm going to make it headlines.
Yeah, great.
Yeah.
Thank you for saying that.
I think it's a huge mistake.
I think so much of what I,
so much of what we have loved about the last few seasons is moments that just would
have never occurred with previous people.
running the show. I just
it makes it so much
better and we are both extremely
extremely sad. If there's anything we
can do to still like rally
the powers that be to
keep you and Asia running
the show, I think it just makes everything
better. Well, I know they're already filming
the next season right now, but
I mean, we might be continuing on as
the host for The Bachelorette. It's not
like we don't know anything yet. So we might
but we're definitely not for like
Bachelor or Bachelor in Paradise or anything. But yeah,
We love doing it.
I hope that happens.
It makes the show way better.
Like if it was two other women, whatever.
I'm just saying I think it's nice to have women there for the bachelorets to be like,
I've been through this and like it helps them open up more.
I couldn't open up to Chris as much as I would to a woman who is sitting there being like,
I've actually done what you've done before.
And like this all makes sense.
Like the empathy that comes from us and in compassion for her situations is very new to the show.
thousand percent like is chris harrison going to be sitting like outside the bathroom door like
talking to katy in tears absolutely not that moments that will just not happen without you
yeah that's and and that's where i thrive i thrive on like being an empath and being able to
like sit down like the other day i know they showed michel and i sitting down and she was saying she
didn't feel seen and of course like there's only they needed to get that that point across but
We had the deepest conversation about self-worth and, like, I understood that I couldn't relate to her as a black woman growing up, but I could relate to her as not feeling seen in relationships.
And we just had, like, a really important conversation.
It looked like I just sat there.
It was like, but like it was we were able to have such a nice conversation.
And, yeah, it's, I think it's important.
And I mean, maybe they do need a male host for the bachelors.
I don't know, but I think women can just bring out.
a more vulnerable
side. There's a reason
you spent time around women growing up if you like
to be vulnerable. We can just bring that out
easily in people. I think
so too. Yeah.
All right, so to your question, who am I top three?
I'm not sure, but I have a top two.
Okay, who's your top two?
Prop to me, like, if I got to kick it with Michelle
and give her my take. Right.
My number one is Olu.
I love Olu. Yeah.
I just feel like Olu would have her back.
I trust him.
He seems so sincere.
Yes, I agree.
And, you know, we're talking about redefining what strength and masculinity means.
Olu seems to represent that, like, Tafibati just.
Yeah.
He understands his emotional self, but he's also, he's, you know, he looks like a bodybuilder.
And I just, I love dichotomy in a person.
They call him Swolulu because he's so swole.
Yeah, he certainly has earned that nickname here.
And then I think my number two is Rodney.
Rodney's up there for me too.
I'm intrigued because I thought you were going to say what everybody else is saying.
Everybody's like Joe Nate, Joe Nate.
Rodney is up there for me.
He is the most pleasant person to be around as well.
Like you just can't stop smiling when you're around him.
Yeah, I mean, both of them.
They just, I think they're the least likely to hurt her.
Yes.
I agree. I feel that about Brandon, too, but he is such a baby. Like, he just looks like such a little baby face. But that doesn't mean he would never hurt her. I really think he would, like, give that, that relationship is always so sweet.
He is extremely sweet, but you're right. He does kind of come off super young. Yeah. He seems like a little baby.
no i mean joe and nate seemed great too i just i mean maybe i'm misreading it but there was definitely
a moment where we watched the most recent episode and uh you know she's michel's like really really
opening up to nate and could be totally off base here but he just seemed petrified it's actually
interesting that you picked up on that and then joe got a one-on-one i thought that one-on-one was so
sweet because i've been around joe obviously from the season and he is
is so nervous around cameras and like doesn't know how to act around them but like she makes
him so comfortable and he is such a solid human and for him to open up about you know his feelings
like that knowing that he's more reserved was so huge from him and I think it was just because
of his love for Michelle and I thought that was a really sweet date that was a very sweet moment
and him talking about like re-understanding himself separate from sports like that shit's very real yeah I think
you know, it's definitely a show
built for either extroverts
or extremely attractive people.
If you're introverted on The Bachelor,
you have to be as stunning as Joe is.
Yeah.
I don't think he's done.
Like, I don't think he even realizes he's handsome.
He's very handsome.
Nate understands he's handsome.
Nate gets it.
Joe, I think, doesn't understand
that he's handsome.
Yeah.
But Joe is definitely more introverted, which, like, in my time watching the show, it seems like a difficult place.
I mean, a date with 12 other dudes is a hard place to be an introvert.
That's true, especially when you're having to, like, yell and be a Viking and, like, flex and hit your chest.
Exactly.
I don't know.
How do you feel about Chris S?
The dude you just got to say home?
Yeah.
That was all very strange to me.
I think it's so strange
Michelle handle it perfectly
Perfectly
That's like some
That's some patriarchal shit
To like you know
Save your complex stuff
I actually really love like
The way Michelle like deliver
Michelle is very good at
Logically thinking about what she wants to say
And how she feels
And like delivering it
In like the most beautiful way
Where I just react with emotion
All the time and I'm like
What fuck was that?
I'll be like, get out of here.
But she just really, like, she's very, like, cognizant and then thinks about how she's going to deliver it.
And when it's said, I'm like, wow, I was really well said.
Yeah, I mean, it's hard to both be emotionally overwhelmed and articulate at the same time.
Yes, that's something I'd struggle with to the max.
Me too.
I get very insular when I feel like I don't, I can't say the right thing.
Yes, me too.
you used to say the right thing right off the jump i have a question for you do you think was chris s really that shady or was that some editing shady well like i always watch obviously as like okay stuff can really get edited i mean maybe it was a little more extreme than it was there but i do remember her telling me like off camera about him and like seen it firsthand so i know it was real but editing can always make it seem worse than it is but yes he's a
he's not the greatest.
Yeah, it was certainly shady.
It was also just so convenient.
It was like we lost a villain and then five minutes later we had a new one.
You know what?
Sometimes I laugh because producers are like, I mean, this is too easy.
My work here is done.
Sometimes these guys really do do this to themselves because you can only hide who you truly are for so long.
You can come in and you can be who you want to be and what you think people would want to see.
But that can only last so long.
And so guys start to unravel and show their two colors.
So that was like perfect timing that Martin started just like unraveling and that, you know,
they might have been saving it.
Who knows?
But it was perfect timing.
Yeah, that's super real.
I always wonder like how much of it is just the guys walking into it and how much is, you know,
just very, very well-produced storytelling.
I think it's a little both.
Okay, I have a question because you've been on so many sides of this.
When you watched back your season of The Bachelorette,
like how much of it felt honest to the experience you had when you were there?
Well, a lot of it felt honest.
And the like main storyline of like the Nick and Sean drama was between,
it was between two guys of like,
like it was like, who's she going to pick?
I mean, I knew I was picking Sean.
and the whole Nick and Sean
storyline was definitely blown up
that actually surprised me
how true it was to what I felt.
That's awesome. It's actually really encouraging to hear.
It was funny. When I went on The Bachelor,
I was like, I'm going to be the idiot on this show.
Like, I'm going to watch it back. My family's going to be mad at me
because I was like guns blazing in that season.
I was like cracking every joke I could.
I was making fun of people. I was getting drunk.
I was like, peep, pew, pew, pew, like, ever, I just didn't care.
But I knew, like, I got along really well with the producers.
I know I have a good heart.
I was not, like, a nasty person.
I was just, like, a firecracker.
And I was like, when I watched the preview, we're like, coming up this season on The Bachelor,
I was like, oh, God.
They, like, showed me getting naked, jumping in legs, like seeing one-liners and
sneaking into his tent.
and I was like, oh, I'm going to be the villain.
And I wasn't.
It's really, editing is a powerful thing.
It's definitely worked out.
It's definitely worked out.
I was telling Julia that we were going to have this conversation earlier today.
And she just thought it was amazing that like we've really gotten so deep into this.
And she goes, she goes, I wonder, I wonder if I went on as the Bachelorette if I could finally get you to propose to me.
you're like well if neil lane is providing the diamond absolutely yeah it would certainly help
and i was like baby i don't know if that would work like i'm not sure after two and a half years
we'd be able to navigate 20 other men no no no i would just pull a claire there you go you can
oh that'll be forever known in the history of bachelor's as pulling a claire is just picking the guy
right away which i still don't know how she got away with because that's definitely not in
the contract.
I can imagine.
I mean, not to put pressure on you, but you guys obviously talk about wedding planning or
getting engaged.
Sure, yeah.
We're, I mean, we're approaching two and a half years.
And we have such a big, beautiful life right now that I would like us to be taking in every
single moment, fully presently in whatever is happening.
And I have every intention of being with Julia for the rest of my life.
And I think the moment it should be in a moment where it doesn't have to fit in between other things.
That's my take.
I would imagine you would think this through and have a very special way of doing it.
So I can't wait until that happens, but no pressure.
I'm so sorry that you just had to throw up in your mouth hearing me say that, too.
Well, I would love her to come on for a bachelor recap if she'd ever want to do that.
It was fun because, I mean, we kind of just skim through Bachelor things,
but I also didn't want to leave without asking you about certain songs.
Like, what's your favorite song on your album right now?
Probably I just added a few songs to the album.
I put it at Deluxe Edition.
Yeah.
Yes.
So my favorite song on the album is right now a song called Soft Landing.
Yeah, which you made the new single, right?
That's the new single.
Yes.
Tell me why that's your favorite.
It's my favorite because it's the, usually the way I'm emotional and
songs is a very like 2 a.m. trying not to wake anybody up kind of emotion. Like very
thoughtful, very quietly passionate. And
Toplanding is one of a few songs where I'm just fucking screaming.
Really?
And it's nice to kind of leave all restraint aside and just have a moment where, you know,
there's just no reservation.
in that song at all. Like, I really go for it. And I love it. It's kind of about, it's about
being in a conflict where you feel like everything is about to go to shit. And you're not really
sure there's anything you can do about it anymore. So you're just racing for him, hoping for
the best. Hoping for a soft landing. Oh, that's cute. I like that. And you also, John Mayer plays
a guitar on one of your tracks, right? Yeah, he plays on a song called Here's Hopen on the album. We did it
together on Colbert, which is one of the coolest moments of my life.
That's insane.
Yeah, it was, we were like, it was just the two of us on Colbert as a duo.
And, you know, you show that video to 17-year-old me, and he full-on has a heart attack.
Yeah, of course.
You know it to me now.
It was such a special moment.
And John is just like one of the most compassionate people I've ever met.
He's been so kind to me and really, I've been a mentor.
How cool is that?
gosh, like that would be like me interviewing
Jennifer Aniston or Britney Spears.
That like, I'm manifesting that right now.
It's going to happen.
Certainly happen.
She's free now.
So finally, it's probably on her list of things to do
to get around to my emails.
I'm a thousand percent confident
that both of those people know who you are and like you.
Well, I know Jennifer Aniston knows who I am
because she responded to me once on Instagram
and I know she's a bachelor fan.
Britney Spears did put me on her website about 10 years ago.
Also, Justin Bieber, and that I had a moment the other day.
Do you remember Andrew S from Katie's season?
Andrew, yeah, the football player.
Yes.
I loved him.
He's incredible, the nicest person.
He was my favorite.
Yeah, he was a lot of people's favorite.
He was Justin Bieber's favorite, and Justin followed him on Instagram,
and I had a live podcast with Andrew as my guest.
And I was like, Andrew, give me your phone for a second.
And I went straight to Instagram and I sent just here a video saying like,
hey, like, we're both Canadian.
So like, we should probably like duet a song together.
And he wrote back and he was like, ha, you guys are so funny.
And I was like, ah.
That's a fantastic story.
Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it.
It keeps me up at night because I'm like, Justin Bieber knows I am.
I'm glad Bieber and I agree on Andrew S.
you do yeah he's he's awesome is Andrew S a bachelor someday I hope so I keep putting in a good word for that to happen because I would love to see it
me too yeah he's he's just an all-around solid human being solid solid solid salt of the earth human being
okay I have one game to play with you before we go okay it's just hypotheticals
Okay, so we know you're in a happy relationship, but hypothetically, what would your limo entrance be?
Not music-oriented, because it's too obvious.
Okay.
I might set up some sort of, like, dorky board game.
Nah, that's played.
Lots of people do that.
Uh-uh.
No?
You don't think so?
I don't think people do that.
I really like the game Bananagrams.
I love Bananagrams.
Oh, there might be some, like, speed bananagrams.
Speed banana grams.
That's what it is.
that i would enjoy that if you came on my season and did speed banana grams i'd be like top four
love that okay dream artist to perform on if you were on a one-on-one as the bachelor and you know
how they have artists come on who would be your dream artist to play for you i'm not going to say
mayor just because i've already had that bucket list moment so probably either chris martin or
Beyonce. Okay. I love Chris Martin so much. If you could make an appearance on any reality
TV show, which would it be? Any reality TV show? Okay, it's a tie between being one of the
guest hosts on Paradise and I guess this is also an ABC show. So Shark Tank as one of the like
celebrity, like investors, you don't want to make the pitch because I don't understand anything about
that
world.
Yeah.
Quick's funny
Shark Tank story.
I've been watching
Shark Tank for years.
I've been watching
it since Dragon's Den
in Canada.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Julia, so I introduced
Julia to Shark Tank
in quarantine.
Yeah.
And her being just a mogul.
She starts watching it
in like four episodes in
starts reaching out to the companies
that she likes to invest in them herself.
Oh, sweet.
You're just about it.
that's hilarious julia i'm worried like become casual friends and it's just so cool so yeah guessed
something on shark take awesome that i like that okay if you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent
or skill what would you choose i'd like to speak every language oh that is so i want to speak i'm
so mad at myself for not learning french did you learn french no if i had known how wonderful it would
have been to speak french and an adult i would have paid attention in those 10 years of french class
I agree with you completely.
I can't believe my brain
didn't soak up any French
from taking all the classes.
I'm like, what is I doing?
We literally, if you think about it,
we were required to take French
for 10 years.
Yeah.
Grade 1 to 10 in Ontario,
you have to take French.
I like to say,
Is que jeepo to go toilettes?
It's like all I got.
Oh, mine is,
if somebody says, like,
I don't even know.
How do you say, how are you in French?
Oh yeah, come sova. And I say,
savamal al-ta-tete. That means my headache.
These are things you learned when you were 13. That's stuck with you.
Oh, gosh, that's so embarrassing. Okay, last one. If your life was made into a movie,
who would you want to play you? It's tough because there aren't too many, like,
go-to ginger actors.
It don't have to be ginger.
Is it going to be an accurate movie?
Look at what they, any Leonardo de Cabrero could become a ginger to play you.
Yeah, but by the time I have enough shit to talk about, Leo's going to be too old for the role.
That's true.
Maybe there'll be like a new ginger actor who shows up in the next 10 years.
Maybe Prince Harry takes some acting lessons.
Wait, I'm Googling this.
Ginger actors.
I got the perfect one.
Rupert?
No.
What is that guy's name?
He was Agent Brody on Homeland.
Homeland.
Yeah, that guy.
What's his name?
I don't know, but he was in billions, too.
They're not even giving his name.
They're just saying red-headed actor.
Okay.
Oh, Damien Lewis.
Yeah.
Yes, Damian Lewis.
That's a good one, too.
It would be cool.
I'm hoping for some up-and-coming ginger actors to play the role.
Are you guys aren't Ging.
aren't gingers like um like they will be extinct in a hundred years that's cool that's cool
that you're one of them remember when i said earlier that the shit we got made fun of for in high
school is the shit that makes us cool now yeah it's being a ginger is what i got bullied for
being sensitives what i got bullied for and being a singer was what i got bullied for and now i've
built my whole life on being a sensitive singing ginger slow into a fast clap for that that that is
what it's about right there i'm like i wish i could fist pump you through the screen boom
that's awesome not only just like a singer but like a well-known like highly respected artist so i am
so grateful that you came on the podcast today tell julius you can come on anytime if she wants to
and tell everybody where they can find you um wherever you follow people on the internet i would love
to be one of those people, it's J-P-Sax, J-P-S-A-X-E.
And Caitlin, thank you so much for having me.
This was such a fun thing for me.
Oh, good.
I'm so glad.
I mean, we'll do it again next season,
and you can be just like a reoccurring.
Maybe you and Julia could do it both
because I feel like you'd have good energy feeding off each other
since you say, like, you wanted to yell at Martin with her.
You can do that on the podcast for another recap.
I think that's a great plan.
I think so, too.
Okay, we'll reach out.
Love, I'll tell her it's the,
game plan. Okay, thank you so much.
I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending.
Thanks for listening to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy.
Tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes
every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Who's done with OTV?
Hi, everybody.
This is Julie, Chrissly, inviting you to listen to our podcast,
Chrisley Confessions, on the Podcast One Network.
Each week we play listener voicemails and offer advice, suggestions,
and opinions based on our own life experiences.
Also, listen in to get the latest updates on all things,
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New episodes every Wednesday on Podcast One, Apple Podcast, Spotify, and Amazon
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